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1
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[tenuous note playing]
2
00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:11,708
[Charly] Dad?
3
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[narrator] "Did that kid just say 'Dad'?"
Toni thought to himself.
4
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,500
[Charly] Did you hear what I said?
5
00:00:25,583 --> 00:00:27,416
Uh… I'm your son.
6
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[narrator] "Did that kid just say,
'I'm your son'?"
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Um, are you slow,
or do you just panic about everything?
8
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[Toni] Kid,
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00:00:38,583 --> 00:00:40,041
out of the road!
10
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Both, I guess.
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-Do you know where your parents are?
-Well, you're here, and Jana is gone.
12
00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:47,750
Oh, you're Jana's kid, okay.
I don't know what she said,
13
00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:48,958
but I'm not your father.
14
00:00:49,041 --> 00:00:50,166
-You are.
-I'm not.
15
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-You are.
-I'm not!
16
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[narrator] He is.
This is Toni's son, Charly Schrammel.
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["Marmor, Stein und Eisen bricht"
by Drafi Deutscher playing]
18
00:00:58,166 --> 00:01:01,416
CRAP HAPPENS
19
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VERONICA FERRES
COMPREHENSIVE SCHOOL
20
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THE ONLY SCHOOL IN SCHITTEN
21
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Charly Schrammel, a 7th grader
at Veronika Ferres Middle School
22
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,791
in Schitten-on-Havel,
was a happy kid.
23
00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:11,166
Hi.
24
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:13,916
[narrator] Maybe the happiest kid
in all of Schitten.
25
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Hi!
26
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["Marmor, Stein und Eisen bricht"
continues]
27
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:19,541
Good morning.
28
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-[narrator] Charly loved going to school.
-[bell rings]
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GERMAN
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[woman] If Veronica Ferres has four apples
and shares them fairly among six children,
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how much does each get?
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[narrator] He loved
Veronica Ferres studies.
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00:01:36,625 --> 00:01:39,541
However the Shining Sun
Veronica Ferres happens to feel about it.
34
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That's what's fair.
35
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Our Shining Sun, Veronica Ferres.
36
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[students] Our Shining Sun.
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[woman] Take out your geometry books.
38
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Today, we're studying the angles
Veronica Ferres finds beautiful.
39
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-Yeah!
-[school bell rings]
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SCHEDULE
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[narrator] And he loved music.
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SCHOOL BAND PRACTICE
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He loved spending his afternoons
playing in the school band…
44
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[band playing "Love Hurts" by Nazareth]
45
00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:03,958
…which was run
by Toni's old school friend, Paule.
46
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,041
♪ Love hurts ♪
47
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♪ Love scars ♪
48
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♪ Love wounds and marks ♪
49
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♪ Take a lot of pain ♪
50
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♪ Oh, take a lot of pain ♪
51
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♪ Love is like a cloud ♪
52
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♪ Causing a lot of rain… ♪
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[narrator] Charly was on a high.
Everything was amazing right now
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because Charly was in love.
55
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In love with…
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00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:36,083
♪ Love hurts ♪
57
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[narrator] Um, no.
58
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In love with Sascha.
59
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[theremin singing melody]
60
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Sascha.
61
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[narrator] It was that kind of
all-consuming love
62
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you only feel when you're 13.
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00:02:49,916 --> 00:02:51,458
Consume me, oh, love.
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[theremin warbles melody]
65
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[music stops]
66
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Fuck my life, that was so good.
67
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[Paule panting]
68
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Band practice is over. [crying]
69
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,875
[narrator] And tonight,
it was finally happening.
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At 9:00, they were finally going to kiss.
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Still up for tonight?
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Of course I am, yeah.
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00:03:16,583 --> 00:03:19,666
[narrator] "Nothing is going to spoil
my good mood today."
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That's what Charly promised himself.
75
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,125
VOTE FERRES
76
00:03:23,208 --> 00:03:26,958
Charly believed some people
are simply meant to be together.
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00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:32,833
His grandpa and grandma, for example,
were together for 70 years.
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00:03:32,916 --> 00:03:34,791
They even worked next door to each other.
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00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:37,708
He was a hairdresser,
she was a funeral director.
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[church bell rings]
81
00:03:38,708 --> 00:03:41,625
Charly inherited their tandem bicycle,
82
00:03:41,708 --> 00:03:44,083
and his responsibility-loving mother Jana…
83
00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:45,416
Responsibility rules.
84
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,166
…took over both businesses
after her parents died.
85
00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:49,875
She tore down the wall between them,
86
00:03:49,958 --> 00:03:52,666
-and Fune-Hair-Al Parlor was a hit.
-[whooshing]
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Such a big hit
that Charly had to help her out.
88
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Every weekday, without fail,
he washed Gossip Gabi's curls…
89
00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:01,000
Is that okay?
90
00:04:01,083 --> 00:04:02,125
Mm. Good.
91
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:04,500
-…and Body-shaming Babsi's curls.
-[door opens]
92
00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,333
-[Jana] Hello.
-Hi.
93
00:04:06,416 --> 00:04:07,958
I have an appointment.
94
00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:09,208
Tint or tragedy, my friend?
95
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:10,625
Um…
96
00:04:11,958 --> 00:04:13,291
[man sighs]
97
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,416
Tragedy, I'm afraid.
98
00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:18,458
-Sorry to hear it.
-I'm sorry.
99
00:04:18,541 --> 00:04:19,375
Please have a seat.
100
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[man whimpers]
101
00:04:23,541 --> 00:04:25,625
[narrator] Everything was
in perfect balance.
102
00:04:26,375 --> 00:04:27,583
SCHITTEN COURIER
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-Until…
-Did you hear that Wera's son…
104
00:04:29,666 --> 00:04:32,250
God rest her soul… is in Schitten?
105
00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:33,791
-No, Toni?
-Yes.
106
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Who's that?
107
00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:37,833
Toni Fleischer.
He's some kind of "repper."
108
00:04:37,916 --> 00:04:41,375
I have no idea what that is,
but he got fat doing it.
109
00:04:41,458 --> 00:04:43,833
Oh, Jana, are you two
back to bumping boots?
110
00:04:44,916 --> 00:04:47,375
[Babsi] She wants to know
if you two had sex again.
111
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Like on Wera's birthday. Ow!
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00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:50,791
[gasps] So sorry.
113
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,458
You mean that time when
Jana and Toni got busy in a golden Trabi
114
00:04:54,541 --> 00:04:56,375
on Wera's 50th birthday? [laughs]
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I remember. Oh, my, my, my, my, my.
116
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[Gabi] My goodness, that was
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14 years ago.
118
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Fourteen years.
119
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:07,041
-[man] Fourteen years.
-[Gabi] How time flies.
120
00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:12,166
You're a spitting image
of that fat old blimp, aren't you?
121
00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:14,333
-[Gabi] He looks just like him.
-[Babsi laughing]
122
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One moment.
123
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:22,916
So this is my father?
124
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-[Jana] Mm.
-A rapper?
125
00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:25,791
Mm-hmm.
126
00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:27,666
Nice!
127
00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:28,625
Mm…
128
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-He know about me?
-No.
129
00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:37,000
-I wanna meet him.
-Why? What for?
130
00:05:37,875 --> 00:05:40,208
-'Cause he's my papa?
-[Jana] Don't call him that.
131
00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:44,041
-[huffs]
-Mama?
132
00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:47,333
-Hmm?
-I just wanna meet him, all right?
133
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:50,875
[sighs] You don't need that right now.
134
00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:53,291
[narrator] At this point,
they dive into a complex discussion
135
00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:55,583
about the performative
construction of fatherhood
136
00:05:55,666 --> 00:05:57,041
and the appeal of parenting models
137
00:05:57,125 --> 00:05:59,750
outside heteronormative
frameworks of individuality.
138
00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:00,666
FERRES CAUSEWAY
139
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:03,208
But let's be real, you probably forgot
how the sentence started.
140
00:06:03,291 --> 00:06:04,333
[Netflix tudum plays]
141
00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:06,000
Yep. So let's skip ahead.
142
00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:08,416
THREE (EMOTIONALLY COMPLEX) HOURS LATER
143
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:10,416
And everyone…
144
00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:13,833
[crying]
145
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,916
Everyone else at school has a father,
146
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,000
-I'm the only one who--
-Cut the act!
147
00:06:18,916 --> 00:06:20,250
-I will go see him.
-You won't.
148
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:21,833
-I will.
-You won't.
149
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:24,041
You've left me with no choice, then.
150
00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:25,250
No.
151
00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:26,541
[inhales]
152
00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:28,083
Oh!
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00:06:29,125 --> 00:06:30,125
Please.
154
00:06:33,208 --> 00:06:35,250
[exhales]
155
00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:40,875
[organ plays clock-ticking melody]
156
00:06:42,666 --> 00:06:47,416
[melody heightens]
157
00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:49,625
Come on. That's it.
158
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:55,833
[melody heightens further]
159
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,250
[narrator] Okay, you get the idea.
Moving forward.
160
00:06:58,333 --> 00:07:03,166
14 BREATHLESS MINUTES LATER
161
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:06,375
You drive me crazy!
You're being so difficult!
162
00:07:08,833 --> 00:07:10,250
You wanna meet him, do ya?
163
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,750
[narrator] And that's when
Jana reluctantly accepted
164
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:18,291
that her son had a right
to make his own mistakes.
165
00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:19,208
Fine.
166
00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,166
[exhales, panting]
167
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,041
I knew that this day would come, actually.
168
00:07:28,125 --> 00:07:30,541
[intriguing music playing]
169
00:07:30,625 --> 00:07:33,125
It's all in there.
Fresh clothes for a week, a toothbrush,
170
00:07:33,208 --> 00:07:34,708
and a pocket knife.
171
00:07:35,416 --> 00:07:37,583
And this is for me.
172
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:39,208
[Charly] Why?
173
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:41,250
[Jana] He won't take care of you
if he can help it.
174
00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:43,750
He's probably trying to leave town
as we speak.
175
00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:46,416
So what's your plan?
176
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,750
We'll force him.
177
00:07:49,583 --> 00:07:50,583
Sounds like fun.
178
00:07:51,708 --> 00:07:53,083
[tires screeching]
179
00:07:53,166 --> 00:07:54,625
FLEISCHER 24-HOUR TOWING SERVICE
180
00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:57,541
I think.
181
00:07:57,625 --> 00:07:58,958
[quacking]
182
00:07:59,041 --> 00:08:01,458
[Toni] What? You stay out of this.
183
00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:03,541
[Tupac chittering]
184
00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:04,916
Get lost!
185
00:08:06,041 --> 00:08:08,166
[groans] What a stubborn kid!
186
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,375
Listen up, kid.
I'm a rapper, okay? I know the game.
187
00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:17,583
You saw me at the funeral and you thought,
"Oh, Toni, such a swaggy dude."
188
00:08:17,666 --> 00:08:20,125
"He's got everything I want.
He's cool, with his gold chains
189
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,458
and his cool drip and shit."
190
00:08:21,541 --> 00:08:24,416
"I'mma get some money out of him
for… licorice."
191
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,500
Licorice? How old do you think I am?
192
00:08:26,583 --> 00:08:28,958
Yeah, or fentanyl,
whatever you kids are into these days.
193
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:30,041
The thing is…
194
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,708
I mean, I'm too broke to help you out.
195
00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:35,625
Brokest rapper ever.
196
00:08:35,708 --> 00:08:37,541
"Brokest" isn't a real word, Papa.
197
00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:41,208
I'm… I'm not your papa! You can't
just go around saying shit like that!
198
00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:45,083
[Charly] Aw!
199
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:50,666
Take care.
200
00:08:51,208 --> 00:08:56,000
[jaunty organ music playing]
201
00:08:59,291 --> 00:09:02,833
-Ah!
-Oh my God, you have a tiny duck?
202
00:09:02,916 --> 00:09:04,875
Dude, just get out of here!
203
00:09:04,958 --> 00:09:06,083
[Tupac chitters]
204
00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:07,833
-But I…
-[chittering continues]
205
00:09:08,541 --> 00:09:09,500
My mommy left…
206
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,083
[hyperventilating]
207
00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:12,750
…without a word, just like that.
208
00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:15,375
[crying] And I'm really hungry, and…
209
00:09:17,083 --> 00:09:20,125
[sobbing]
210
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:24,708
I brought you a little present. [crying]
211
00:09:29,791 --> 00:09:30,625
Ugh.
212
00:09:30,708 --> 00:09:32,166
THE BEST DAD (IN SCHITTEN-ON-HAVEL)
213
00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:36,625
Well, it's too early to say that, maybe,
but I'm feeling pretty optimistic.
214
00:09:38,125 --> 00:09:40,541
Okay, that's enough. You win, kid.
215
00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:42,666
Here, my last ten euros.
216
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,250
-Happy now?
-I don't want your money.
217
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,791
-You do.
-All right.
218
00:09:48,791 --> 00:09:49,791
Now get out.
219
00:09:52,916 --> 00:09:54,916
I'm off to Berlin, and I'm losing time.
220
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,000
[jaunty organ music resumes]
221
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:04,833
[narrator] So, that wasn't ideal,
but, oh well.
222
00:10:04,916 --> 00:10:08,166
"Nothing is going to spoil
my good mood today."
223
00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:17,791
[exhales]
224
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:20,250
Okay.
225
00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:22,708
[narrator] Toni was glad
he finally got rid of that weird kid.
226
00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:25,416
But then he started having doubts.
227
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,625
"Could that really be my son?
I mean, yeah, the math is right,
228
00:10:28,708 --> 00:10:32,583
but Jana and I definitely used protection
when we had sex in that golden Trabi."
229
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:34,041
"Right?"
230
00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:36,375
[quacks]
231
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:38,916
She didn't leave him, okay?
232
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,541
-[quacking]
-Why would she leave her kid like that?
233
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:42,458
[quacks]
234
00:10:43,166 --> 00:10:44,333
[quacking]
235
00:10:44,416 --> 00:10:45,916
He is not my son.
236
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,416
-I don't have a son.
-[quacking]
237
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,833
-[quacks]
-Can we please not talk about this?
238
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,375
I need to concentrate.
239
00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:53,833
[narrator] No more distractions.
240
00:10:53,916 --> 00:10:54,791
ONLY ROAD TO BERLIN
241
00:10:54,875 --> 00:10:56,000
He needs to write.
242
00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:57,750
All right, let's focus.
243
00:10:58,375 --> 00:10:59,333
The beat?
244
00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:01,125
Still there.
245
00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:02,125
[bass booming quietly]
246
00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:04,416
The flow? Still there.
247
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,625
[hip-hop slowly crescendos]
248
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,666
Now just stay on it.
249
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:10,750
And the lyrics…
250
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,583
[tires screeching]
251
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,083
[panting]
252
00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:20,666
[uneasy music playing]
253
00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:21,666
God.
254
00:11:29,791 --> 00:11:31,000
[door closes]
255
00:11:34,583 --> 00:11:37,125
[quirkily unsettling music playing]
256
00:11:41,666 --> 00:11:42,750
[recorded doll voice] Papa!
257
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:44,625
Papa!
258
00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:46,458
Ugh.
259
00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:54,458
Why won't you take care of me, Papa?
260
00:11:55,958 --> 00:11:59,083
Meeting you was a disappointment,
and you're a bad rapper.
261
00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:00,583
Papa.
262
00:12:01,791 --> 00:12:04,291
[man sobbing]
263
00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:06,208
You can't just lie on the road like that.
264
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:08,625
I always do everything wrong.
265
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,208
Here's your ticket. You better pay it.
266
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,208
Next time, make sure
you have a permit, okay?
267
00:12:14,291 --> 00:12:16,541
Okay. [blubbering]
268
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:18,583
Hey, what the hell happened?
269
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:20,041
[Johnny cries out]
270
00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:22,208
AN HOUR EARLIER
271
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,833
If I should be
throwing myself in front of a truck,
272
00:12:25,916 --> 00:12:28,666
probably one hauling dolls
on the country road right now,
273
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,750
then give me a sign, sweetheart.
274
00:12:34,666 --> 00:12:38,333
-[distant wolf howling]
-[gasps]
275
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:39,416
[whimpers]
276
00:12:40,708 --> 00:12:41,541
Papa.
277
00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:44,916
I need your mother.
I can't live without her!
278
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,833
I have to join her!
279
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,583
Wera! I'm coming!
280
00:12:51,666 --> 00:12:54,125
-[Toni sighs]
-Tow that thing, Kaia's waiting.
281
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,166
What? No. I'm going to Berlin.
282
00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:57,708
-That soon?
-Yeah.
283
00:12:58,916 --> 00:13:00,916
-Rave?
-Uh… Rave?
284
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,375
No. I have to write songs.
285
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:05,083
I got a great opportunity.
The chance of a lifetime.
286
00:13:05,666 --> 00:13:08,166
Cool. First you bring that truck back,
then you rave.
287
00:13:08,791 --> 00:13:11,291
-I'm not going to rave.
-You people are filthy.
288
00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,583
-[exhales]
-[Johnny sobbing]
289
00:13:14,666 --> 00:13:16,291
[Nancy] And take Johnny with you!
290
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,333
JUNKYARD 2.5 MILES
291
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:22,041
[Johnny sobbing loudly]
292
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:24,625
-Johnny.
-[Johnny] Yes?
293
00:13:24,708 --> 00:13:27,458
-[Toni] Cry quietly.
-[sobs less loudly]
294
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:29,833
Okay. [stifled crying]
295
00:13:29,916 --> 00:13:31,916
[muffled sobbing]
296
00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:34,208
[horn honks]
297
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:35,166
JUNKYARD
DRIVING SCHOOL
298
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:39,041
[horn honking insistently]
299
00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:42,916
-[engine revving]
-[sexy rock music playing]
300
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,750
[horn honks]
301
00:13:50,416 --> 00:13:55,125
[rock music continues]
302
00:13:58,541 --> 00:14:00,333
Kaia, can you pick up the pace?
303
00:14:00,416 --> 00:14:01,750
[music stops]
304
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:02,833
Yeah, okay.
305
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,750
All right, let's have a look
at this little [bleep], shall we?
306
00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:08,958
Can I sit down and write somewhere?
It's urgent.
307
00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:12,000
You just wanna [bleep] off, don't you?
Fine. Just [bleep] do it.
308
00:14:12,083 --> 00:14:14,250
-Step into my office.
-[Johnny sobbing]
309
00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:16,083
[muttering] This family is insane. Jesus.
310
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:17,375
-[Johnny crying]
-[Kaia exhales]
311
00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:26,125
[narrator] Okay, let's write a hit,
right here, right now.
312
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:27,541
[hip-hop intro playing]
313
00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:30,791
[beat drops]
314
00:14:30,875 --> 00:14:32,041
Beat? Check.
315
00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:34,291
Flow? Check.
316
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,750
Now focus on the lyrics.
317
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:39,791
[music swells]
318
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:44,166
Uh. Check, check. 'Kay, hear me out.
319
00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:51,208
-[music stops]
-Shit!
320
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,166
Shit, shit, shit!
321
00:14:53,666 --> 00:14:54,666
[narrator] All gone.
322
00:14:55,916 --> 00:14:56,958
Ugh!
323
00:15:03,375 --> 00:15:04,625
Uh!
324
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,041
Ow…
325
00:15:10,583 --> 00:15:11,416
[groans]
326
00:15:12,666 --> 00:15:13,791
[moaning]
327
00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:14,916
Ahh…
328
00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:18,416
-Oh, teddy bear.
-Ahh…
329
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,166
I invited the family over for dinner
330
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,458
to apologize for
all the stress I caused today.
331
00:15:22,541 --> 00:15:23,750
Are you, uh, coming too?
332
00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:24,916
I'm not hungry.
333
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,291
Uh…
334
00:15:26,375 --> 00:15:27,708
I'm making Königsberg meatballs.
335
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:30,250
Fuck it, I'm in.
336
00:15:30,791 --> 00:15:31,791
[giggles]
337
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:34,833
Yeah-- Oh. I thought…
338
00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:38,541
[Johnny humming]
339
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,583
The whole family at one table.
340
00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:47,625
Wera would've been so elated.
341
00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:49,125
[sobs quietly]
342
00:15:49,208 --> 00:15:51,916
You cry, you're out of here, Johnny.
Back to your spot.
343
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:52,833
Bon appétit.
344
00:15:53,708 --> 00:15:54,833
[Johnny humming sadly]
345
00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:56,375
[Karo] Königsberg meatballs!
346
00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:58,250
-Mmm.
-Mmm.
347
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,916
-Mmm.
-Mmm.
348
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,416
-Mm-hmm.
-[Toni] Mmm.
349
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:02,791
What's up with your hair today?
350
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:03,708
[bird chirps]
351
00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:06,958
-Something's different.
-[Nancy] Mmm.
352
00:16:07,041 --> 00:16:07,958
-[loud thud]
-Mama.
353
00:16:08,041 --> 00:16:09,916
-[Nancy] Mmm.
-Aunt Karo looks like dad's armpit,
354
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000
and it's grossing me out.
355
00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:12,208
Mm-hmm?
356
00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:14,083
-I'm calling my doll "Baby Karo."
-[doll] Papa.
357
00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:16,666
No, your doll's name is Jörg.
You don't wanna make Papa sad.
358
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,875
Hey, didn't you have a hair appointment?
359
00:16:19,958 --> 00:16:21,375
Yeah, but Jana's not there.
360
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,583
Not there?
361
00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:24,416
What do you mean?
362
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,500
Disappeared. Gone. The salon's closed.
363
00:16:27,541 --> 00:16:29,125
[Toni, echoing] You just get out of here!
364
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:31,083
[Charly] My mom left,
so I have to stay with you.
365
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:32,458
[Toni] Get lost!
366
00:16:32,541 --> 00:16:34,500
[narrator] Since the tender age of four,
367
00:16:34,583 --> 00:16:38,333
Königsberg-style meatballs
had been Toni's third favorite food.
368
00:16:38,416 --> 00:16:39,958
But he had a bit of a quirk.
369
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,416
[straining]
370
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,208
Whenever Toni had a guilty conscience…
371
00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:45,583
You have a guilty conscience.
372
00:16:45,666 --> 00:16:47,083
…he just couldn't get a bite down.
373
00:16:47,166 --> 00:16:48,333
Nah, don't be silly.
374
00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:49,583
Then eat.
375
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,250
-[strains]
-[narrator] It just wasn't possible.
376
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:53,500
Eat.
377
00:16:58,625 --> 00:17:00,166
[straining]
378
00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:05,500
[doll] Papa, I told you so.
379
00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:07,666
Mommy's really gone, and I'm hungry.
380
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:09,500
Ah, damn!
381
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,041
[distorted] Bring me food.
382
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,916
[Johnny stammering] Gun!
383
00:17:19,958 --> 00:17:21,458
Toni, what have you done?
384
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,833
[Johnny stifling sobs]
385
00:17:23,916 --> 00:17:29,000
[mellow organ music playing]
386
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,208
[truck door closes]
387
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,250
[music drops out]
388
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:45,208
[panting excitedly] I knew
you were gonna change your mind.
389
00:17:45,291 --> 00:17:46,583
Come on, I'll show you my room.
390
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,625
Actually, I just wanted
to bring you some food.
391
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:50,750
Oh.
392
00:17:52,291 --> 00:17:53,250
I'm not hungry.
393
00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:55,333
It's Königsberg meatballs.
394
00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:58,250
Fuck it. Count me in.
395
00:17:58,333 --> 00:17:59,875
[organ music continues]
396
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,708
Where did Jana go?
397
00:18:07,416 --> 00:18:08,666
And for how long?
398
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:11,291
Kid, you can't just sit back
and shrug your shoulders all day.
399
00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:16,000
Oh my God! [crying]
400
00:18:16,083 --> 00:18:17,333
-[quacking]
-[crying continues]
401
00:18:17,416 --> 00:18:20,833
I came home from school,
and she was gone, I mean, just like that.
402
00:18:21,458 --> 00:18:24,375
[sobbing]
403
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:26,208
And did you try calling her or something?
404
00:18:26,291 --> 00:18:28,208
The person you are trying to reach
is unavailable.
405
00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:30,541
Come on, she had to have said something.
406
00:18:30,625 --> 00:18:31,875
Just that you're my papa.
407
00:18:31,958 --> 00:18:35,041
-No, that's bullshit. I would know.
-How?
408
00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:37,458
[mystical music playing]
409
00:18:37,541 --> 00:18:39,250
A man can sense these things.
410
00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:42,583
-[Tupac quacks]
-[Toni] Well, anyway.
411
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,583
-Enjoy.
-[Charly] Mm.
412
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,458
[quirky music playing]
413
00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:13,416
[both whistle]
414
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:14,541
[both] Whoa.
415
00:19:16,708 --> 00:19:17,583
[Tupac chitters]
416
00:19:18,708 --> 00:19:20,541
We're not exactly the same.
417
00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:22,916
-[quacks]
-That doesn't mean anything.
418
00:19:25,583 --> 00:19:27,250
Are you gonna take care of me?
419
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,916
I can't even manage
to take care of my laundry.
420
00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:34,708
[exhales] But somebody
has to take care of me.
421
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,500
[whimsical segue music playing]
422
00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:41,625
Sorry, who is this little [bleep]?
423
00:19:42,166 --> 00:19:44,500
-This is Charly.
-His son.
424
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:45,916
Your son?
425
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,958
Uh, supposedly.
426
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:51,250
Charly is Jana's kid.
Jana just disappeared and left him alone.
427
00:19:52,583 --> 00:19:54,291
I have three cousins?
428
00:19:55,666 --> 00:19:57,833
Four. The eldest isn't here.
429
00:19:57,916 --> 00:20:01,041
Well, then.
Charly, family, family, Charly.
430
00:20:01,125 --> 00:20:02,041
I'm Charly.
431
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:03,125
Bye now.
432
00:20:03,208 --> 00:20:04,500
[all] What?
433
00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:06,583
Charly, kids… [snaps] Go play.
434
00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:07,791
[girls] Yes!
435
00:20:07,875 --> 00:20:09,333
Toni, sit down.
436
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,083
-[girls] Yay!
-Go play, then.
437
00:20:16,833 --> 00:20:17,958
Where are you going?
438
00:20:18,041 --> 00:20:19,041
Berlin.
439
00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:21,875
The chance of a lifetime and all that?
440
00:20:21,958 --> 00:20:23,000
What?
441
00:20:23,083 --> 00:20:26,208
Jana's the one who left,
it's not my fault, is it?
442
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:27,500
Go full manhunt if you have to.
443
00:20:27,583 --> 00:20:28,708
If I have to?
444
00:20:28,791 --> 00:20:30,833
Yeah, Interpol or whatever.
445
00:20:32,416 --> 00:20:34,375
Well, if anyone loves a manhunt, I do.
446
00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:36,000
She loves manhunts, all right.
447
00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:37,375
[Nancy] Mmm.
448
00:20:37,458 --> 00:20:39,708
I really love manhunts.
449
00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:41,625
But…
450
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:43,000
[ominous music playing]
451
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:49,166
As an adult in full possession
of her mental and physical faculties,
452
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:51,958
Jana has the legal right
to choose where she wants to be,
453
00:20:52,041 --> 00:20:55,000
as long as Charly has
a caregiver to take care of him.
454
00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:57,416
And in this situation,
that's you, Toni Fleischer.
455
00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:01,041
And I will not allow you
to leave this poor little boy alone.
456
00:21:01,125 --> 00:21:02,000
[Toni] Nancy…
457
00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:04,708
I have to get going now.
458
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,500
Don't you have anything to say?
459
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,416
I'm with Nancy.
Brother, you're a little [bleep].
460
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:13,333
Karo.
461
00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:16,125
[tenuous music playing]
462
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:20,166
[narrator] Remember when tequila was,
like, "the drink" for about five minutes?
463
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:22,791
In that tiny window,
Jana let it slip to Karo
464
00:21:22,875 --> 00:21:25,625
in a tequila haze
that Toni is Charly's dad.
465
00:21:25,708 --> 00:21:27,625
And Karo had to promise
never to say a word.
466
00:21:27,708 --> 00:21:31,416
But Police Chief Inspector
Nancy Bärbel Fleischer
467
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,458
always knew when someone had a secret.
468
00:21:33,541 --> 00:21:35,083
So you were aware of all of this?
469
00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:36,833
And you never said anything?
470
00:21:37,583 --> 00:21:39,708
Yeah, I'm not a damn snitch.
471
00:21:40,541 --> 00:21:41,458
Yeah, that tracks.
472
00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:43,250
Perfectly logical.
473
00:21:44,166 --> 00:21:46,291
[all] Fleischers never snitch!
474
00:21:46,375 --> 00:21:48,041
[Toni] But anyway, that's awesome.
475
00:21:48,125 --> 00:21:49,666
So Karo can look after him now.
476
00:21:50,708 --> 00:21:52,541
No, that's your responsibility.
477
00:21:52,625 --> 00:21:55,833
Well, let's assume… he's really my son.
478
00:21:56,666 --> 00:21:59,833
Which one of you actually thinks
I'd be a decent father figure?
479
00:22:01,541 --> 00:22:03,291
[doubtful note playing]
480
00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:05,041
[narrator] Charly thought so.
481
00:22:05,125 --> 00:22:07,666
Someone who grew up in such a cool house
482
00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:10,625
with such a cool family
could only be cool.
483
00:22:10,708 --> 00:22:11,541
Cool.
484
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:17,666
[muffled sobbing]
485
00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:21,125
[crying]
486
00:22:26,208 --> 00:22:27,958
-[sniffling] Hello.
-Hi.
487
00:22:28,041 --> 00:22:29,541
-Hm?
-What're you doing here all alone?
488
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:33,708
They kicked me out
because I was crying too loudly for them.
489
00:22:33,791 --> 00:22:35,791
Mm… [gulps]
490
00:22:35,875 --> 00:22:38,166
You're the kid
who played at Wera's funeral.
491
00:22:38,250 --> 00:22:39,458
That was lovely.
492
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:41,458
What are you doing here?
493
00:22:41,541 --> 00:22:45,708
I think he's trying to get rid of me,
but I'm actually Toni's son.
494
00:22:45,791 --> 00:22:47,916
Mm. He didn't tell me that.
495
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,166
I'm his daddy.
496
00:22:49,250 --> 00:22:51,541
Cool. Hi, Grandpa.
497
00:22:52,750 --> 00:22:54,125
Huh… Huh…
498
00:22:54,208 --> 00:22:55,375
Grandpa?
499
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:56,958
[gasping]
500
00:22:57,041 --> 00:22:59,791
None of Nancy's daughters
has ever called me Grandpa, actually.
501
00:22:59,875 --> 00:23:01,958
[breathing shakily]
502
00:23:02,041 --> 00:23:04,166
I'm so happy I could cry!
503
00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:06,541
[crying] That's so nice!
504
00:23:06,625 --> 00:23:09,000
Grandpa! Grandpa!
505
00:23:09,083 --> 00:23:10,291
[sentimental music playing]
506
00:23:10,375 --> 00:23:12,958
[Johnny] That was beautiful! [sobbing]
507
00:23:16,416 --> 00:23:20,166
[narrator] That didn't go as planned.
Toni's about to leave.
508
00:23:20,875 --> 00:23:22,833
Charly was down to his last option.
509
00:23:24,541 --> 00:23:27,833
So he used the most cunning,
most manipulative,
510
00:23:27,916 --> 00:23:31,125
and only real weapon a child possesses.
511
00:23:39,125 --> 00:23:40,250
And it worked.
512
00:23:45,083 --> 00:23:46,208
[laughs softly]
513
00:23:47,541 --> 00:23:49,500
In that moment, as they hugged,
514
00:23:49,583 --> 00:23:53,458
Toni felt affection
and a sense of responsibility.
515
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:57,000
-And a little bit of hunger.
-Okay.
516
00:23:57,875 --> 00:23:59,375
I'm staying. You can live with me.
517
00:23:59,458 --> 00:24:00,500
Yes!
518
00:24:00,583 --> 00:24:02,541
-Until Jana's back, then I'm gone.
-Cool.
519
00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:05,083
-But it's writing time.
-Check.
520
00:24:05,166 --> 00:24:07,291
Now give me my ten back,
you little scrounger.
521
00:24:10,333 --> 00:24:11,166
[door opens]
522
00:24:11,875 --> 00:24:13,708
[sisters] Aww…
523
00:24:13,791 --> 00:24:16,166
And now let's go party, you [bleep]!
524
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:19,791
["Wunder gibt es immer"
by Katja Ebstein playing]
525
00:24:21,916 --> 00:24:22,958
[shot fires]
526
00:24:24,583 --> 00:24:25,541
[Kaia and Karo] Yeah!
527
00:24:25,625 --> 00:24:28,416
[song continues]
528
00:24:29,541 --> 00:24:30,583
[booming]
529
00:24:36,833 --> 00:24:39,583
[cheering and screaming]
530
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:42,791
[distorted laughter]
531
00:24:47,208 --> 00:24:48,791
And that's one more ticket.
532
00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:04,416
Whoo! [laughing]
533
00:25:09,791 --> 00:25:13,500
[narrator] Everything was going
just how Jana planned.
534
00:25:13,583 --> 00:25:14,791
Is it all going as planned?
535
00:25:14,875 --> 00:25:16,833
Mm-hmm. They're all really, really great.
536
00:25:16,916 --> 00:25:18,583
-Even Toni?
-Mm-hmm.
537
00:25:18,666 --> 00:25:19,625
[both laugh]
538
00:25:19,708 --> 00:25:21,375
So, are you meeting
your girlfriend tonight?
539
00:25:21,458 --> 00:25:22,416
Yeah.
540
00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:24,333
-Still don't wanna tell me who she is?
-Mm-mm.
541
00:25:24,416 --> 00:25:26,750
Just like you still won't tell me
about where you went.
542
00:25:26,833 --> 00:25:29,041
-Right.
-[man] Salud, señora Jana.
543
00:25:29,125 --> 00:25:30,000
Snuggle bug, gotta go.
544
00:25:30,083 --> 00:25:31,500
-You take care, okay?
-Okay, yeah.
545
00:25:31,583 --> 00:25:33,000
-I love you.
-Love you too.
546
00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:34,291
-Bye.
-See you!
547
00:25:36,125 --> 00:25:38,916
[narrator] So far,
the day was a solid 12 out of ten.
548
00:25:39,875 --> 00:25:41,166
I have to go. [exhales]
549
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:43,916
[narrator] And the best was yet to come.
550
00:25:44,583 --> 00:25:48,000
Papa? Uh, I gotta go,
but I'll be back by ten.
551
00:25:48,083 --> 00:25:49,166
Not a minute later.
552
00:25:50,375 --> 00:25:51,375
Whatever.
553
00:25:51,458 --> 00:25:52,375
Later.
554
00:25:54,250 --> 00:25:56,416
[narrator] And that's when it hit Toni…
555
00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:58,625
"I'm a dad."
556
00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:02,041
Closely followed by,
"So how does one 'dad'?"
557
00:26:02,125 --> 00:26:04,208
Toni never wanted to be a dad.
And he had to write,
558
00:26:04,291 --> 00:26:06,583
but now there was
nothing left in his head.
559
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,833
No lyrics. No beat.
560
00:26:10,833 --> 00:26:12,916
Just… "Papa."
561
00:26:13,666 --> 00:26:18,000
[moody music playing]
562
00:26:18,083 --> 00:26:21,000
Charly's day didn't exactly
end on a high note either.
563
00:26:21,083 --> 00:26:24,000
Scene of the crime,
Schitten's iconic make-out spot.
564
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:26,875
Time of the crime, 8:59 p.m.
565
00:26:26,958 --> 00:26:29,916
[girl] Seriously, Mom. You're all
such a pain when you're together.
566
00:26:31,041 --> 00:26:34,583
No, you don't have to come by
to check his papers, are you crazy?
567
00:26:35,583 --> 00:26:37,958
Mom? I really have to hang up now, okay?
568
00:26:40,916 --> 00:26:42,208
-Hi.
-[Charly] Hi.
569
00:26:42,291 --> 00:26:43,416
Okay.
570
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:54,833
[watch beeps]
571
00:26:54,916 --> 00:26:56,125
It's nine on the dot.
572
00:26:56,208 --> 00:26:57,166
[church bell rings]
573
00:26:58,041 --> 00:26:59,083
Let's go.
574
00:27:00,541 --> 00:27:01,625
[exhales]
575
00:27:02,291 --> 00:27:03,791
[shaky breathing]
576
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:06,541
-Mm?
-Mm.
577
00:27:13,541 --> 00:27:17,708
[romantic music playing]
578
00:27:19,083 --> 00:27:20,958
[Charly chuckles]
579
00:27:26,041 --> 00:27:27,458
-Wow.
-Wow.
580
00:27:29,708 --> 00:27:30,875
How was your day?
581
00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:33,250
I finally know who my dad is.
582
00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:37,125
And not just that. I have a grandpa,
and I have four cousins.
583
00:27:37,208 --> 00:27:40,750
And then there's Aunt Karo
and Aunt Kaia and Aunt Nancy.
584
00:27:40,833 --> 00:27:42,583
-What?
-And a grandma, but she's already dead.
585
00:27:42,666 --> 00:27:43,500
What?
586
00:27:44,416 --> 00:27:45,500
[music stops abruptly]
587
00:27:46,083 --> 00:27:46,958
[awkward note playing]
588
00:27:47,041 --> 00:27:48,541
This Aunt Nancy?
589
00:27:49,791 --> 00:27:51,166
Why do you have a photo of her?
590
00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:52,750
This is my mother.
591
00:27:55,250 --> 00:27:57,125
D-does that mean we're…
592
00:27:58,291 --> 00:27:59,458
Yeah, we're cousins.
593
00:28:03,208 --> 00:28:05,000
-[echoing] I have three cousins?
-[Nancy] Four.
594
00:28:05,666 --> 00:28:07,166
The eldest isn't here.
595
00:28:07,250 --> 00:28:08,291
[exhales]
596
00:28:08,375 --> 00:28:11,041
[narrator] Ah,
gotta love small-town Germany.
597
00:28:11,125 --> 00:28:14,750
[wolf howling]
598
00:28:14,833 --> 00:28:17,000
VOTE FERRES & WIN
599
00:28:17,083 --> 00:28:20,375
SCHITTEN
WE ARE FAMILY
600
00:28:23,208 --> 00:28:24,250
[exhales]
601
00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:32,083
"Nothing is going to spoil
my good mood today."
602
00:28:33,541 --> 00:28:34,875
Coolest day of my life.
603
00:28:34,958 --> 00:28:38,250
["Love Hurts"
high school band version playing]
604
00:28:39,208 --> 00:28:40,208
[Sascha whimpers]
605
00:28:40,291 --> 00:28:42,166
[Paule] ♪ Love hurts ♪
606
00:28:42,958 --> 00:28:44,625
♪ Love scars ♪
607
00:28:46,041 --> 00:28:47,958
♪ Love wounds ♪
608
00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:51,291
♪ And marks ♪
609
00:28:51,375 --> 00:28:54,166
♪ Any heart ♪
610
00:28:54,708 --> 00:28:57,041
♪ Not tough ♪
611
00:28:58,041 --> 00:29:02,916
♪ Or strong enough ♪
612
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,291
♪ To take a lot of pain ♪
613
00:29:06,375 --> 00:29:08,791
♪ Take a lot of pain ♪
614
00:29:09,416 --> 00:29:12,333
♪ Love is like a cloud ♪
615
00:29:12,416 --> 00:29:15,458
♪ Holds a lot of rain ♪
616
00:29:16,041 --> 00:29:17,958
♪ Love hurts ♪
617
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:24,583
-♪ Ooh-ooh, love hurts ♪
-♪ Ooh-ooh, love hurts ♪
618
00:29:28,041 --> 00:29:32,958
♪ I'm young, I know ♪
619
00:29:34,166 --> 00:29:38,625
♪ But even so ♪
620
00:29:39,250 --> 00:29:45,458
♪ I know a thing or two ♪
621
00:29:46,208 --> 00:29:50,583
♪ I learned from you ♪
622
00:29:51,166 --> 00:29:54,458
♪ I really learned a lot ♪
623
00:29:54,541 --> 00:29:56,791
♪ Really learned a lot ♪
624
00:29:57,458 --> 00:29:59,791
♪ Love is like a flame ♪
625
00:30:00,541 --> 00:30:03,333
♪ Burns you when it's hot ♪
626
00:30:04,041 --> 00:30:06,041
♪ Love hurts ♪
627
00:30:08,083 --> 00:30:12,625
♪ Ooh-ooh, love hurts ♪
628
00:32:12,333 --> 00:32:14,333
[song ends]
43393
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