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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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Urgh!
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Oh...
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Whoo!
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SHE GIGGLES
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SHE SCREAMS
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ROBOTIC CHATTERING
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I mean, you're useless at this.
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SCREAMING
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SHE TRUMPETS
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Eurgh!
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Thank you, thank you!
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Welcome to Taskmaster!
A juggernaut of comedians
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crashing off Career Mountain.
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Soon, one of them will hold aloft
the golden trophy depicting...
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SULTRILY: ..my delicious face.
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The losers will be rightly
kicked from their homes
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and have to live in the forest
like giant human rats.
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LAUGHTER
So, for the penultimate time,
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00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,680
please welcome Andy Zaltzman...
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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..Babatunde Aleshe...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,320
..Emma Sidi...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,600
..Jack Dee...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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..and Rosie Jones!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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And next to me, a man who told me
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that he likes attending
parents evenings
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because his middle child's form
tutor is, and I quote,
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"one hot piece of ass."
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HIGH-PITCHED:
# I-I-It's little Alex Horne! #
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Yes, please. Hi, Greg!
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Hey, Greg, riddle me this.
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Would you rather all of the fingers
on one of your hands was worms?
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Yeah. Or would you like £10 cash?
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LAUGHTER
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OK, £10 cash. £10 cash, all right.
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Would you rather, you have to always
drink water from the hot tap?
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Or £10 cash?
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LAUGHTER
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HE SIGHS
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£10 cash, please.
Just the slightly tepid water, yep.
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Whenever you -
would you rather that,
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whenever you look in the mirror,
you vomit? Blergh?
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Or £10 cash?
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Yeah, I'll have the £10 cash,
please. £10, all right.
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Oh, you have a slug
instead of a tongue...
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Yeah, £10 cash.
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£10 cash, right.
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OK. Mm-hm. Good.
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And I've run out now. Mm-hm.
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This is your personal money, right?
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It genuinely is. Really is.
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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
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OK, prize task time!
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And this week, you asked them
to bring in the best item
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for keeping things in
that isn't just a regular item
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for keeping things in.
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I'll tell you what,
I can hardly contain myself.
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5 points for the best item,
and all five items will be
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heading home with the winner
of the night.
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00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:52,680
OK, Jack.
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What is the thing that you've
brought in that's good for
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keeping things in that you wouldn't
normally keep things in?
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I've brought this lovely, erm,
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village scene that
I keep things in.
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OK, here is Jack's village
Christmas scene. Yeah.
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LAUGHTER
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What are you containing in it?
Ahem.
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Erm, batteries.
GREG GROANS
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Yeah, he keeps his...
he keeps his batteries in.
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Fair enough. It-It's got
a hidden compartment for them.
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And so, I can always -
if I, you know - I think,
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"Oh, I need double-A batteries,"
you know what it's like.
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Yeah, I know what it's like, yeah.
Especially Christmas Day, it's...
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"Oh, I've remembered where
the double-A batteries are!"
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Yeah, I've got some for you.
"They're in that container!" Yeah!
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"Oh, but the container's drained
the batteries!"
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LAUGHTER
That is a flaw in this.
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But what I've found, if you put
them all the same way round,
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it doesn't drain them.
It admittedly... Ah!
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Yeah, thank you!
LAUGHTER
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Oh, oh! So, it all makes sense now,
does it? Yeah. Yeah.
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It's like saying that you're going
to store meat inside a dog, Jack.
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LAUGHTER
Jesus.
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Right, Emma.
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I have designed a bag.
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Made it myself and,
while I was making it,
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I couldn't believe this
hasn't been done before.
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00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,840
OK, here's her non-container
container.
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Oh!
LAUGHTER
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Yes...I like it.
APPLAUSE
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It's sort of fabulous.
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It sort of does work, doesn't it?
Yeah!
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Trousers are already in existence
to store your legs in. If...
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It's not a huge leap.
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They're not storing your legs
your trousers. My point is...
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I'm storing my legs! They're not
a storage device, you knob.
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"Ooh, where am I going to put these
legs for the day?"
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LAUGHTER
Very good. Thank you, Greg.
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Tick. Who's next? Baba.
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I brought a biscuit tin.
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LAUGHTER
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Yeah.
LAUGHTER CONTINUES
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This, this thing is evil. Right?
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Whenever you see this, you're like,
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"Oh, my days, biscuits!
I love biscuits.
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"I love Danish butter cookies."
And then, you open them.
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Uh-oh. It's a sewing kit.
LAUGHTER
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I've got bad news for you. Right.
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There's not a person in this room...
OK.
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..who doesn't come from a household
where a biscuit tin has been
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repurposed to store other things.
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So, we all can agree...
that I've won.
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That it's a container...
and is commonly used as such.
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Cool! So, I've won.
LAUGHTER
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00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:25,480
You were supposed to bring in
the best item for keeping things in
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that isn't just a regular item
for keeping things in.
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00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,040
All right, my bad, I-I messed up.
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00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,040
LAUGHTER
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00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,640
APPLAUSE
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00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,760
Rosie, what thing have you
brought in to contain things in?
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Why would you ever need a bag
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when you have a bra?
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Here it is, Rosie's bra.
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LAUGHTER
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Is that...is that a chicken wing?
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00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,840
LAUGHTER
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00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:08,600
So, if you've got eyes,
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00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:15,080
you know that I have big bazookas.
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He hasn't stopped talking about it
the whole time.
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LAUGHTER
134
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:28,000
So, I'll take whatever,
I'll pop it in my bra.
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I've even got something
in my bra right now.
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Ah, doing a riddle? Ah!
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There you go. Thank you.
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00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,440
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
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00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,040
One left, Greg. Andy. Yes.
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00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,480
What container have you brought in
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that wouldn't normally be used
as a container?
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Er, well, Greg,
I brought in a toilet.
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Want to see it? There it is.
I think... Oh...
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00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,240
I think we can agree that's, you
know, it's a nice toilet, isn't it?
145
00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:09,000
It's a lovely toilet. What are you
storing in it, you weirdo?
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00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,960
LAUGHTER
In a toilet!
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00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,680
It's a very,
very flexible storage device.
148
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Let's open her up.
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LAUGHTER
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00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,320
And obviously, the cistern... Yeah.
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00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,840
..That's your prime storage area
in your average toilet, I would say.
152
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You see, you've got your filing...
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00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,840
LAUGHTER
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00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,160
You've got pens, er, and...
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00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,800
..a model of the
19th-cricketer WG Grace.
156
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,080
Yes, just to have a -
to finish with a cricket reference.
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00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it.
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I can score these really easily.
Ready? OK, who gets 1 point?
159
00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,960
Who do you think? Baba.
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Correct! OK.
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00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,120
Jack, 2 points. Rosie, 3 points.
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00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,760
Er, I enjoyed Andy's thing,
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00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,280
but I just think anyone
who makes an effort to design
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00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,560
something like that... Mm-hm.
..put a loaf of bread in it,
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she's got modelling skills.
She's the full package.
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She gets the 5 points, there we are.
4 to Andy, 5 to Emma Sidi!
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There we go.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Right, let's get going,
let's have a proper task.
169
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Oh, yes, please!
170
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,120
And this one is called Five,
Six, Seven, Eight by Steps.
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Hello, Emma. Er, h-hi. Oh.
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Pardon? Yeah, hi.
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Emma. Yeah.
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Before you start... Yeah.
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..please, can you give me your phone
and put on that hat?
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Give you my phone?
And put on the hat. Oh.
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00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,240
Please, can you put that hat on,
and give me your mobile telephone?
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Right.
LAUGHTER
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Why?
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00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,360
I think you look good in a hat.
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Thank you. OK.
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There you go. Is that a mobile?
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00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,440
Yeah. Great.
184
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,160
LAUGHTER
185
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,920
Ah, that looks pretty good.
186
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Yeah. I suit hats.
187
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,840
You really do. I'm lucky.
188
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,400
Is it one on, one in, one out?
Oh, it's...OK.
189
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,920
Is that all right? Yeah.
190
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,480
Bow, come on.
191
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,920
Come, on bro, this is what
I'm tryin' to say, bro.
192
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,080
I look good.
LAUGHTER
193
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,720
"Walk exactly one furlong
in exactly ten minutes.
194
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,760
"You may not make use of
technology except to make
195
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,640
"three five-second phone calls.
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00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:35,840
"Also, you may not remove the hat.
197
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,920
"Closest to one furlong and
ten minutes wins."
198
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,560
JACK GROANS
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00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,320
I don't know what a furlong is.
200
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,680
Do you know what a furlong is, Emma?
201
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,200
No.
202
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,280
I'm young!
203
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,120
So, that's 600 seconds.
204
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,560
Furlong is 220 yards.
205
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:58,360
That's...that's ten cricket pitches,
Alex.
206
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,960
You don't need to be a rocket
scientist to know that.
207
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,800
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
208
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,240
EMMA: That is amazing, isn't it?
209
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:13,240
No lack of self-esteem, as usual,
with our contestants.
210
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,800
Baba has spent the whole series
announcing how good he looks.
211
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,240
LAUGHTER
And I'm inclined to agree!
212
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,600
I've tried some of
this positive thing.
213
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,680
I looked at myself in my pants
just this morning in the mirror,
214
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,320
and I thought, "I'm going to try
a Baba 'bow" when I look at it.
215
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,160
And I tried, and just
the word "bleak" came out.
216
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,640
LAUGHTER
But I like it.
217
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,960
Let's see some stuff.
218
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,600
They're allowed three
five-second phone calls.
219
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,840
We're going to begin with
three detectives.
220
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,640
Emma as Inspector Clouseau,
221
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,320
plus Detective Inspector
Jack Dee Frost
222
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,240
and Lieutenant Frank Colum-baba.
223
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,960
Here we go.
LAUGHTER
224
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,560
I don't know how long a furlong is.
225
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:55,320
But you said I can make
three five-second calls.
226
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,560
And you didn't say I couldn't call
the same person three times.
227
00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,600
Let's get that.
228
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:01,240
Come on, bro, give me my phone.
229
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,560
If I phone my agent...
230
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,120
Mm-hm. Good agent?
231
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,840
Yeah, sh-she'll get me out of
here if I ask her. Pardon?
232
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:10,040
PHONE LINE RINGS
233
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,280
VOICEMAIL: Hi, this is Fay.
234
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,400
Please leave me a message...
OK...OK.
235
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,280
One of the main clients,
do you think?
236
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,920
PHONE LINE RINGS
JACK LAUGHS
237
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:19,160
Five seconds, remember. Yeah.
238
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,200
Pick up your phone, bro!
239
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,400
VOICEMAIL: Welcome to the EE
voicemail... Oh! All right.
240
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:23,880
Call Mo Gilligan.
241
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,120
PHONE LINE RINGS
242
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,840
VOICEMAIL: Welcome to the O...
Yeah. Call Giovan.
243
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,800
You definitely know these people?
Yes!
244
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,680
I'm going to call my son.
245
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,840
PHONE LINE RINGS
246
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:36,960
Hello, you all right?
247
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,560
Miles, can you work out
how long a furlong is?
248
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,920
I'm going to ring you back.
249
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:41,960
PHONE CALL ENDS
250
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,320
I'm going to give him a...
a minute to find out. Hmm.
251
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,280
But then, he might ring me back,
and that doesn't count
252
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,680
as a phone call, does it?
Interesting. No.
253
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,160
EMMA: I'd like to call my mum,
254
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,880
but I'm worried that
she'll also get worried about me.
255
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,840
Miles, did you hear?
Yeah.
256
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,160
I need to... Er...
257
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,840
Oh.
LAUGHTER
258
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,400
How long's a furlong?
259
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,080
EMMA'S MUM: Erm, eight, eight...
260
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,520
PHONE CALL ENDS
LAUGHTER
261
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:10,920
Eight...eight.
262
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,240
Let me call her again.
Third call, third call.
263
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,960
PHONE LINE RINGS
This is it, Jack.
264
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,000
JACK'S SON: Hello?
How long is a furlong?
265
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,160
How long is a furlong?
266
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,920
Call me back!
267
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,720
LAUGHTER
268
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:26,920
Oh! So, he ends up asking you
how long a furlong was. Yeah!
269
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,000
Jamain! How long is a furlong?
270
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,760
And I'll call you back in five -
271
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,200
in a bit, I'll call you back.
272
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,360
Aight, call him back. Now? Yeah.
273
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,080
How long's a furlong, bro?
274
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,280
Hello? How long's a furlong?
275
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,840
A furlong? Yes!
276
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,640
Oh...d'oh!
277
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,480
All right, one more!
Straight away?
278
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,320
Straight away, bro, we gotta get it!
279
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,000
Yeah, bro, quickly, quickly,
quickly! How long's a furlong?!
280
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,760
220 yards, I think it is.
281
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,280
My guy! Let's go.
APPLAUSE
282
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,400
Ah, he's called me back,
so I can take that.
283
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:57,440
We agreed, I think.
284
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,480
Hi, M... It's 200 metres.
285
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,040
Oh, OK, thank you, Miles.
Cheers. Yeah.
286
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,560
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven...
287
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,560
EMMA'S MUM: Hello?
Eight what?
288
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,320
I think it's eight...eight miles?
289
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:10,840
No, that's a...
PHONE CALL ENDS
290
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,200
SHE GROANS LOUDLY
291
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,040
So, that's all your phone calls.
292
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,320
Eight miles, yeah, right.
293
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,960
220 yards -
I don't know how long a yard is.
294
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000
HE LAUGHS
295
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,680
32, 33...
296
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,720
61, 62, 63, 64...
297
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,400
54, 55, 56...
298
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,240
Write this down, yeah? Yeah.
299
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,160
The first person in life
didn't know anything.
300
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,280
He had to, you know what
I'm saying, work it out,
301
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:37,080
so therefore, always be willing
to work things out.
302
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,320
You get what I'm saying?
303
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,240
How far have you walked?
304
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,720
I don't know. No.
305
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,080
Er...OK, OK, that's it.
306
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,680
I'm saying that's ten minutes.
307
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,560
Stop the clock -
that was ten minutes. OK.
308
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,080
I'm going to stop.
309
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,320
That's the end of it, is it?
Yeah, that's it. Sorry, yes. OK.
310
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,600
I should say, that's the end of it.
Yeah. Yeah.
311
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,400
Anti-climax.
312
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,240
Yeah. Cheers.
313
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:03,640
Cheers, Jack.
314
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,200
APPLAUSE
315
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,640
What's your theory, Baba?
316
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,960
The first person who discovered
anything had to start somewhere,
317
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,400
so you're...?
318
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,240
I might've said that.
LAUGHTER
319
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,800
If you play it back, you'll
understand the wisdom that I hold.
320
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,320
The wisdom of Baba.
You know what I'm saying?
321
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,320
He wrote down - you wrote down
a lot of my quotes didn't you?
322
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,360
Yeah, you said that
dirty baths make you itchy.
323
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,560
That's all I've written down.
There you go.
324
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:34,080
Jack was the only person to work out
that you could get a call back -
325
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,880
which paid dividends. Yeah.
326
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,560
EMMA: I have a problem with that.
That's technology.
327
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,600
That's still using technology
to answer the call, isn't it?
328
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,600
Well, you're right I did say you
can't use technology except
329
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,400
to make three phone calls,
but then, the phone rang,
330
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,640
and it was his son, and it might
have been an emergency.
331
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,760
LAUGHTER
332
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,440
I think picking up a phone
is using tech.
333
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:55,920
Yeah. You always say that.
334
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,560
LAUGHTER
335
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,560
You did also look at your watch
and claim that,
336
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,640
"It's not technology it's
decorative."
337
00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,040
LAUGHTER
Is this tech?
338
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:08,560
It's not a Brussel sprout...
on your wrist, is it?
339
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,200
I'm also impressed by how
confident you are that your gait
340
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,560
is exactly one metre, as well.
It is.
341
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,040
Oh, fine.
LAUGHTER
342
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,960
So, no more discussion on that,
it is. Confident.
343
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,960
Well, look, I can tell you they had
to try to get exactly ten minutes
344
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,400
and exactly one furlong.
345
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,000
Emma, you were exactly 11 minutes,
not bad.
346
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,360
What? 262 yards - 42 yards over.
347
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,000
OK. Jack, eight minutes,
ten seconds.
348
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,120
But slightly closer to
the furlong - 40 yards short.
349
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,280
Baba, you were only 23 yards over,
350
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,240
and you finished walking in
nine minutes, 57 seconds.
351
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,520
Whoa!
352
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,920
AUDIENCE OOHS
APPLAUSE
353
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,080
Yeah, whoa!
354
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,880
Sometimes, a man just has to be
the first to do it
355
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,080
in a certain way.
356
00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,880
LAUGHTER
357
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,560
Settle down, everyone!
358
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,360
Sh!
359
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,040
WHISPERING: It's break time.
360
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,400
LAUGHTER
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
361
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,000
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
362
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,520
Welcome again! You've come back
just at the right time!
363
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,240
The current task involves having
364
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,480
to walk exactly one furlong
in exactly ten minutes.
365
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,440
So, here we go,
for the final furlongs,
366
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,800
it's Andy and Rosie.
367
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:25,440
One, two, three, four...
368
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,360
Ten runs. So, er...
369
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,080
Oh, hang on, I-I've gotta
count those already.
370
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,320
Six, seven, eight...
371
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,280
..21, 22...
372
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,960
Are you going to do this
for ten minutes?
373
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,320
..23, 24...
374
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:40,400
Alex. Yes.
375
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,720
Could you get me some
cricket stumps, please?
376
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,200
I want to maybe get a couple of runs
on the board early on. So...
377
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,760
One, two, three, four, five...
378
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,480
Two minutes, is it?
..six, seven, eight, nine...
379
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,240
You think that's a furlong?
..ten.
380
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:03,320
I know you measure horses...
381
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:10,200
Yes. ..in that, and that feels
like a good horsey gallop.
382
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,240
Hmm.
LAUGHTER
383
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,440
How many runs
have you got now, Andy?
384
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:21,200
Well, that's, er...
oh, I've lost count now.
385
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,760
37, 38... Do you want to make
any phone calls?
386
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,200
No, I think I'm all right.
387
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,560
Cup of tea or anything?
Yeah!
388
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:40,240
Five minutes - we're halfway!
389
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,520
We're halfway, great stuff.
LAUGHTER
390
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,800
This is my last step.
391
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:47,360
Done.
392
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:53,120
Five, four, three, two, now!
393
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,920
Here.
394
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,160
Right, thank you. There's your tea.
395
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,440
Could you put that in
my dressing room?
396
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,200
The tea? Thank you.
397
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:07,040
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
398
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,040
I mean, I don't want to
keep going on about it, Andy,
399
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:18,200
but I just don't think you ever are
really thinking about anything
400
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,280
except for cricket.
LAUGHTER
401
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,480
I mean, was there any attempt
to do the task?
402
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,200
The thing is, when you're batting,
403
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,480
you've just gotta focus
on every ball.
404
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,640
Even in his answer,
he drags us back to cricket!
405
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,800
It's an illness.
LAUGHTER
406
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,160
It's an illness.
But what an illness!
407
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,080
Yeah! It was not a bad tactic,
though, I'd say,
408
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:40,240
he got nine runs, which...
409
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:43,120
..the length of a cricket pitch
is a tenth of a furlong,
410
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,720
so he didn't end up far
off a furlong.
411
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,680
Oh. Hmm. And the minutes?
412
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,640
Er, less good, but not too bad -
eight minutes, 45.
413
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,840
And 23 yards short of a furlong.
414
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,840
So, at the moment, second place.
415
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,520
You!
LAUGHTER
416
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,840
I'm a fucking idiot.
417
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,320
LAUGHTER CONTINUES
418
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:07,920
I knew a furlong is something
to do with horses.
419
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,960
And you felt that those few feet
from the podium to the middle
420
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,360
of the lawn was, and I quote,
421
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,720
"a good horsey gallop."
422
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,480
It was!
423
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,680
How did she do?
Her time-keeping, not bad.
424
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,000
Ten minutes, 25 seconds.
425
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,920
Only a little bit over. Wow!
CHEERING
426
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,640
But distance-wise, she was -
427
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,680
well, she did 24 steps,
which is about one
428
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,320
furlong less than a furlong.
429
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,040
LAUGHTER
430
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,840
So, that means it's 1 point to
Rosie, 2 to Jack, 3 to Emma,
431
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,800
4 to Andy, but 5 to Babatunde!
432
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,200
Babatunde wins!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
433
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,160
Can I see some scores?
434
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,640
Yes. I'm going to update you
on the series scores.
435
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,200
Rosie, you're last at the moment,
with 114 points,
436
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,040
but only 8 points behind Emma,
who's on 122.
437
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,200
3 behind Baba, on 125.
438
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,720
Jack's on 132,
439
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,080
Andy now in the lead, on 134.
440
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,960
AUDIENCE OOHS
APPLAUSE
441
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,200
Must be time for another task.
It is!
442
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:07,960
You're punctual, I'm functional,
443
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,080
and together,
we're the perfect couple.
444
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:13,640
So, let's look, Greg,
at some good, clean art.
445
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:14,680
Hmm.
446
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,080
Hey. Hey.
447
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,480
Hey.
448
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,280
We meet again. We meet again.
449
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,520
Who's stepped on this?
450
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,120
Yeah, that was me. I'm so sorry.
451
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,360
What's going on, bro?
It's not like you.
452
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,120
Yeah, it's got a...
a footprint on it.
453
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,680
Hmm, that's a shame.
454
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,440
Just wonder what went wrong there.
455
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,400
"Clean the most profound picture
456
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,840
"of majestic nature on
a dirty thing."
457
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,200
That's...I don't even understand
what that means.
458
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,200
Did you write that?
459
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,080
Greg Davies... Of course.
..writes the tasks.
460
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,960
Really lovely.
461
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,680
BABA: So, I just need to clean
something that's dirty?
462
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,760
But you've gotta clean
a picture into it.
463
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,720
Ohh!
464
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:22,640
Can I choose a dirty thing?
465
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,640
Absolutely, you can make
a dirty thing.
466
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,680
SHE SNICKERS
467
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,400
LAUGHTER
468
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,040
"You have 20 minutes.
469
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,600
"Your time starts now."
470
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,280
This is too clean in here,
so I'm just going to...
471
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,560
..have a think somewhere else.
472
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,560
And by "think," I don't mean...
473
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,000
..do a poo. All right!
474
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,560
LAUGHTER
475
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,760
Quick.
476
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,000
APPLAUSE
477
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,760
When I first head of this task,
I thought,
478
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,800
"Well, Jones will probably
do something in shit"...
479
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:56,920
LAUGHTER
480
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,240
..straight away,
but I was disappointed that
481
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:00,520
you joined the poo party.
482
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,520
Cheeky ladies. Cheeky.
483
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,800
Cheeky pooing ladies -
what a film!
484
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,000
LAUGHTER
485
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,880
So, there might be poo involved.
486
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,840
That was a disappointing follow-up
to There will be Blood.
487
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:16,680
LAUGHTER
488
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,080
Right, I want to see
some grubby art...
489
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,440
Right. ..immediately.
490
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,320
Here comes a grubby old montage.
491
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,080
LAUGHTER
492
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,560
Found something dirty.
493
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,680
Found it...out the back
of your garden.
494
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:36,800
EMMA: Right this is...
dirty as sin.
495
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:41,880
ROSIE: I made a dirty plate.
496
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,720
Seems quite ambitious, your plan.
497
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,520
JACK: It is very ambitious. Yeah.
498
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,000
But that's me all over.
499
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,320
DRAMATIC CHORUS MUSIC PLAYS
500
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:54,600
All right.
501
00:22:58,440 --> 00:22:59,880
CROW CAWS
502
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,280
OK.
503
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,400
Oh, it's not a good start.
504
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:13,240
I'm going to clean Italy...
into this dismembered mannequin.
505
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,680
JACK: Usually, this kind of thing
happens on the back of a van,
506
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,160
doesn't it? You get -
I wish my wife was this dirty.
507
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,240
Oh, that's quite fun.
You know, oh, it's hilarious.
508
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,000
Yeah. It always makes me laugh.
509
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,240
You ever been to, er, New Zealand?
510
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,320
Yes. Are you painting New Zealand?
511
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:27,920
I haven't been.
512
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,440
But I imagine that it's stunning.
513
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,520
Right. So, I guess, yes, I am.
514
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,040
What's my better side?
515
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,800
That...or that?
516
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,720
Definitely the second. Right.
517
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,120
That's good.
518
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,360
Yeah, that's comin' out,
that's comin' out.
519
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,440
AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
520
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:59,400
Oh...that's lovely.
521
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,840
EMMA VOCALISES HAUNTINGLY
522
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,360
There's rivers in Italy,
aren't there?
523
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,400
Mountains.
524
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,960
EMMA CONTINUES SINGING
525
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,480
It's the music of splendid nature.
526
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,400
Mount Etna.
527
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,040
You're cleaning with hot sauce.
Yes.
528
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,920
JACK: That's a lamp,
and there's just fog everywhere.
529
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:29,080
Yeah.
530
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,880
APPLAUSE
531
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,800
Another act of incredible
arrogance from Rosie Jones.
532
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,360
Your instinct to show
the majestic force of nature
533
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,120
is to get an imprint
of your own face.
534
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,720
LAUGHTER
It's incredible, isn't it?
535
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,160
Er, Emma's beautiful nature song...
536
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,200
Hmm. ..I was very touched by.
537
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,640
Yeah. I-I'm hoping we can employ
that when we reveal everyone's art.
538
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,080
OK. OK, you want to see your
first dirty picture?
539
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:04,400
Yeah. OK, so we're looking for
the most profound picture of
540
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,440
majestic nature in a dirty thing.
541
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:10,080
Let's start in the caravan with
Jack's masterpiece.
542
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,760
LAUGHTER
543
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,320
Would you like me to add music?
544
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:20,040
Yeah, I think that's
what'll save it. OK.
545
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,800
RECORDING OF EMMA SINGING
LAUGHTER
546
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,160
Sorry, do you mind not laughing?
I'm trying to...
547
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,360
I'm trying to look at
some art here.
548
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,640
EMMA'S SINGING CONTINUES
It's a lamp on the right-hand side.
549
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,120
It's the setting moon behind
550
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,640
the Tower Bridge on the
left-hand side. Ohh.
551
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:35,920
See. Yeah. Erm...
552
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,160
I mean, I've gotta say,
everyone instinctively laughed
553
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,040
when they saw it,
but I don't think it's bad.
554
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,160
Thank you. I knew what it was.
555
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,920
Emma's haunting song took me back.
556
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,080
I imagined myself one of
the cockle children of the Thames.
557
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:49,760
LAUGHTER
558
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,480
They, er, were they a thing?
The cockle children?
559
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,440
They were big rivals of the
Chuckle Brothers in the early days.
560
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,480
LAUGHTER CONTINUES
561
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,520
Right, who's next?
562
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,960
We're now going to see Andy's
profound picture of majestic nature.
563
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,280
This is what he did.
564
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,520
LAUGHTER
565
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,600
EMMA: That is toxic.
BABA: That looks so wrong. Yeah.
566
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,160
I mean, I'm not going to be able
to sum this up better than
567
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,640
Emma just has under her breath.
568
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,800
"That is toxic."
Is that what you said? Yeah.
569
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,280
LAUGHING: Well, as is a lot of
you know Italian history.
570
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:27,200
Got mountains, it's got
the River Tiber there with...
571
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:28,840
I think Rome was the duck.
572
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,120
The duck, you called, "Il Ducky."
573
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,400
Mussolini's nickname was Il Duce,
so that's... Oh, yeah.
574
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,520
..that's what that's referring to.
LAUGHTER
575
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,240
And the head with...
hot sauce all over it?
576
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:39,840
That's Sicily with Mount Etna.
577
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:46,560
Is covering a dismembered leg
with crap cleaning the leg?
578
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:50,600
Well, the river was made of some
sort of squeezy cleaning fluid,
579
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:52,320
and the bubbles from
the Fairy Liquid.
580
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:55,960
Admittedly, the hot sauce
isn't generally used as
581
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,120
an external cleaning fluid.
LAUGHTER
582
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,440
But... Generally.
583
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,760
Actually, if you just down a bottle
of hot sauce in a couple of days,
584
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,160
you'll be as good as new. Right.
LAUGHTER
585
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,440
I-I've actually started liking it.
586
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:10,920
Right. Have you?
587
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,640
I mean, that happens, doesn't it,
588
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,840
if you stare at something
long enough, I guess? Yeah.
589
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,200
I mean, I think it's shit.
590
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,200
LAUGHTER
591
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,160
OK, ready to see Baba's effort?
592
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:26,440
Yeah. Well, Baba cleaned this scene
into our dirty driveway.
593
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,560
LAUGHTER
594
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,880
BABA LAUGHS
What do you think it is?
595
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,000
It's a...it's a magic wishing tree.
596
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,040
Yeah, well, yes.
597
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,040
But inspired by my love
for the Jackson 5.
598
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,920
As you can see, the afro
599
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,720
at the top of the tree.
600
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,600
I thought it was nuclear war.
601
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,120
LAUGHTER
602
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,800
Are you saying this is
a combination of...
603
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,880
..between a tree and one
of the Jackson 5?
604
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,720
LAUGHTER
605
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,440
You can see the genius
in this, can't you?
606
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,480
Can I suggest a title? Yes, please.
607
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:00,720
A-B-Tree.
608
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,960
A-B-Tree,
look at that. There you go.
609
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,000
APPLAUSE
It's as simple as that.
610
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,040
Right! It's break time.
611
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,640
A chance to make
a cup of tea and relax.
612
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,880
Alex, go and get my blanket!
613
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,680
Really? No. Not the Dutch oven.
614
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,000
Yes, the Dutch oven!
615
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,880
I've been eating lentils!
616
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,080
See you in a bit.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
617
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:24,200
RECORDING OF EMMA'S
HAUNTING VOCALISING PLAYS
618
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,120
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello, thank you!
619
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:33,400
Welcome back! It's part three,
620
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,280
and I'm in the middle of critiquing
some majestic artwork.
621
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,200
Correct! The most profound
picture of majestic nature
622
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:40,840
cleaned onto a dirty thing.
623
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,520
That was their commission.
624
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,600
And now, it's time for
Rosie's dirty protest.
625
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,000
ROSIE: OK.
LAUGHTER
626
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:55,480
To the right is my long,
luscious hair.
627
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,360
And then, to the left is
628
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,240
my lips and chin.
629
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,160
EMMA: Is it chocolate spread?
630
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,000
ROSIE SNICKERS
631
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,000
LAUGHTER
632
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:12,120
It is what you want it to be.
633
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,520
JACK: Hmm. I want it to be over.
634
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,040
LAUGHTER
635
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:18,800
It's not as awful as
I first thought.
636
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:22,880
The more I stared at it, I did
think it has a certain quality.
637
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,840
OK. Well there's one more
to see, Greg.
638
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:28,040
We now have the singer herself -
finally, here is Emma's artwork.
639
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,080
Here we go.
640
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:30,600
JACK: Oh, that's lovely.
BABA: Wow!
641
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,440
Very nice. My God.
642
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:33,680
That is good.
643
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:35,880
And that's before we've put
any music on it.
644
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:42,440
RECORDING OF EMMA'S
HAUNTING VOCALISING PLAYS
645
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,680
It's good.
Actually looks like New Zealand.
646
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,000
EMMA SINGS ALONG TO RECORDING
I imagine myself on a mountain.
647
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,880
My whole life before me.
648
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,560
Well, Emma bloody hell.
It's incredible.
649
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,160
How'd you - what did you
clean that into?
650
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,040
Well, I-I am genuinely surprised,
651
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,760
because I made such an error.
652
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,920
I wanted a really dirty
piece of paving stone,
653
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,120
but I accidentally picked
a square of actual mud.
654
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,240
LAUGHTER
655
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,360
But I brought in, like,
blue washing-up liquid,
656
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,200
some green washing-up liquid,
made some froth, and then,
657
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,520
eventually, I guess it did start
to come together, yeah.
658
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,560
Yeah. Although it could do with a...
659
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,640
..some sort of, you know, echo of
historical atrocities in it which...
660
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,080
LAUGHTER
It-It would be lovely to see someone
661
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,760
goose-stepping across the mountains,
wouldn't it?
662
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,960
Well, look, Greg, I'll put
all five up for you,
663
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,160
then you can score away.
664
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,240
Y-You know, I'm not especially
moved by yours, Andy, by your...
665
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:36,720
But you're not insulting me,
666
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:40,000
you're insulting
the entire nation of Italy.
667
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,240
So be it!
LAUGHTER
668
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,120
Tell you what I'm going to do. OK.
669
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,000
I'll give Andy 2 points. Ah!
670
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,680
LAUGHTER
And that's purely for his ambition.
671
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:52,880
I'm going to give
Rosie Jones 3 points.
672
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,240
3 to Rosie.
Jack and Babatunde are dealing
673
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,120
with very different subject matters.
674
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,600
I'll give them both 4 points.
4 to Jack and Baba.
675
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,880
Yeah, but there's no point that
celebrated-in-dirt New Zealand wins.
676
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:05,320
Emma takes 5 points.
677
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,640
Congratulations, Emma Sidi,
there we go. Ah!
678
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,760
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
679
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,360
Whoo!
680
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,520
How about a team task,
young fellow, m'lad?
681
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,440
Ooh, yes, please,
I love a team task.
682
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:17,680
I also love a gutter!
683
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:19,880
I love a cow, and I love balls.
684
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,240
LAUGHTER
685
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,440
JACK: All righty.
ROSIE: Oh!
686
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,160
Mind the pineapple. Where?
687
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,520
That one. Oh.
688
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,680
Emma, Baba, Andy.
689
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,280
ANDY: Alex.
690
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:45,760
Hello!
691
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:46,960
Yes, hello guys.
692
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,120
Oh, hello. Hello, yeah,
there's a task there. Yeah.
693
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,280
BABA: I've gotta be careful
I-I don't want to...
694
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:53,920
EMMA: Be very careful.
Yeah.
695
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,960
ROSIE: Careful, so you do it.
Oh, OK.
696
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,080
"Place all the balls in the gutter,
697
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,080
"and the gutter on the cow.
698
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,160
JACK: Right, I think the gutter
is that we saw on the way out.
699
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,720
And that thing. And then,
get the gutter on the cow.
700
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,400
BABA: "The gutter must not
enter the dome.
701
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:17,240
"You must not use anything
floppy during your attempt.
702
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,280
"You must not use anything
floppy during your attempt."
703
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,000
So, that means you can't just
put them in a bag.
704
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,160
No. You can't do that.
705
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,960
"For every ball you touch,
706
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,560
"one minute will be added
to your time.
707
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,640
"For every ball that
touches the floor,
708
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,360
"ten minutes will be added
to your time.
709
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:38,360
"The task is over when
the full gutter of balls
710
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,960
"is balancing by itself
on the cow.
711
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,440
"Fastest wins.
Your time starts now."
712
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,480
What?! OK, right.
THEY LAUGH
713
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:47,720
It's tough for me, that.
714
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,640
APPLAUSE
715
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,800
Well, we've seen the teams
in action before,
716
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,040
and this should be a disaster.
717
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,840
LAUGHTER
Erm, shall we?
718
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:05,280
OK, well, let's begin with
the team of two, shall we?
719
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,280
This is Rosie and Jackie.
720
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,480
Do we lie the cow down?
721
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:13,920
I like your thinking.
722
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,720
Yeah, boy! There we go.
723
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,160
Tip that cow!
724
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,520
Ooh. Yeah, big cow!
725
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,360
Move it.
726
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,040
Are we nearly there?
We're very nearly there. Right.
727
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,960
I like this.
728
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,240
Let's see if that...
that's about right.
729
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,240
You think that's flat? Yeah.
730
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,760
I'll go to the kitchen.
Find me a pair of tongs.
731
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,360
Plenty of tongs in the kitchen.
732
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:42,840
We're nailing it!
733
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,480
HE GROANS
734
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:46,200
The kitchen's got a padlock on it.
735
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,680
Oh, is it padlocked?
Yeah, it's padlocked, actually.
736
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:50,720
That's annoying.
737
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,560
Thank you for that tone of surprise
that you gave us there.
738
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,720
Shall we...?
I'm going to look in the shed.
739
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:58,720
OK!
740
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,560
Fill that with balls... Yeah.
..without touching.
741
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,840
That'll just stop 'em falling. OK.
742
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,080
OK, come on, then.
Let's give it a go.
743
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,240
We're doing it.
744
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:11,160
Right.
745
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:14,240
Let's - well, let's...
this is a trial run.
746
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:16,200
BUZZER
Oh, you've dropped that one.
747
00:34:16,240 --> 00:34:19,720
YOU dropped that one.
748
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,560
OK, I'll have a go. Slowly.
749
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,040
Ah!
BUZZER
750
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,400
That's not too bad.
751
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,200
More slowly.
752
00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:32,800
OK.
753
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,720
Did you tip 'em in too quickly is...
754
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:36,720
BUZZER
Oh. Oh, fuck.
755
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:37,760
LAUGHTER
756
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:39,280
Slow!
757
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,720
Yeah!
FLATLY: Yes.
758
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,760
We're on a streak.
We're on a winning streak. Yes!
759
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:46,920
Come on, let's do it!
760
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:48,560
Bit of team work.
761
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,600
Yes!
762
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:50,960
BUZZER
No!
763
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,240
Another one on the floor.
764
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:53,880
I've been crap.
765
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,960
No! No.
BUZZER
766
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,080
Oops.
767
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:02,480
BUZZER
Oh, sorry.
768
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,080
Yeah, baby!
769
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,800
These are the last ones.
770
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,560
Finished.
771
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,880
That's it. We nailed that, Jackie.
772
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,280
We did! We did.
773
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:19,920
My man.
774
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:21,640
My boy.
775
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,200
My hero.
776
00:35:23,240 --> 00:35:24,880
LAUGHTER
AUDIENCE AWWS
777
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,600
APPLAUSE
"My man, my boy, my hero."
778
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,400
How would you describe
the team dynamic?
779
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,520
It's quite bickery, isn't it?
780
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,680
Yeah, but we get shit done.
781
00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:40,080
LAUGHTER
782
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,000
Rosie tends to either blame
other people for failure,
783
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,520
or to celebrate it.
784
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,840
It was her dropping the balls,
though, right.
785
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,760
It was both of us.
It was... Er...
786
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,280
AUDIENCE AWWS
We-We're a double act...Nice.
787
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,880
EMMA: No, it was definitely
both of you.
788
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:54,920
Yeah, yeah.
789
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,720
Sorry, the way you were putting
balls into that curly pipe...
790
00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,360
All right, mate, all right!
791
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,400
LAUGHTER
792
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,160
Bloody hell. Yeah.
793
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,520
In many ways, watching you
over the series has been like
794
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,120
watching a couple who've been
married for 50 years.
795
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,680
There was a lot of noise from Rosie,
796
00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:13,440
and there's a lot of this from Jack.
797
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:14,840
HE STRAINS LOUDLY
798
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,120
LAUGHTER
799
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,680
LOUDLY GROANS
800
00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:20,800
But you do get shit done.
801
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:25,000
ROSIE: And the love is still there.
802
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,040
AUDIENCE AWWS
It is, it is.
803
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,880
Is it? Oh, yeah.
804
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,160
Is it, Jack?
805
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,320
HE SIGHS LOUDLY
806
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,160
LAUGHTER
807
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,440
Right, that's it! One part to go.
808
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:41,120
Rosie's put a bra full of old
chicken into the prize pot -
809
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:44,040
and yet, they all still play to win.
810
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,520
We'll see you back here soon.
811
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:46,920
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
812
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:50,280
RECORDING OF EMMA'S
HAUNTING VOCALISING PLAYS
813
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,120
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hello, everyone, and well done!
814
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:00,680
You've made it to part four.
815
00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,280
Alex, can you please bring us
816
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,240
up to speed with
the current team task?
817
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,760
'Sup, G-Frame?
818
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,400
Yeah, the team task is simple.
819
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,520
They need to place all
the balls in the gutter,
820
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:10,800
and the gutter on the cow.
821
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:12,160
Just the team of three to go.
822
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:15,360
Here's how Andy, Baba,
and bossy old Emma got on.
823
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,920
LAUGHTER
824
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,120
ANDY: Right, but you can't
touch the balls.
825
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:22,120
So, what're we supposed to do?
826
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,280
Well, you can pop them in here,
that's not floppy.
827
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,040
You can pop the balls in the helmet.
SHE GASPS
828
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,560
Fantastic! Man like Andy!
829
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,320
Let's go, bro.
830
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,480
So, what we moving?
We moving this bad...?
831
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,440
OK. Come on, move this cow
near the dome.
832
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:36,480
She's called Linda.
833
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,800
Oh! That's weirdly heavy.
834
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,360
Well, you're carrying most of it.
835
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,840
Don't body-shame Linda.
But I'm just stuck here.
836
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,160
Are we allowed to attach it
to the cow?
837
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,320
It does say "balance".
By itself. Balance...
838
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,520
That looks pretty...
That looks really good.
839
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,000
Solid. Yeah.
840
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,280
We could just get some tongs
from the kitchen. Tongs.
841
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,000
Tongs from the kitchen.
All right.
842
00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:59,760
I think the tongs is
a really great... Ah!
843
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,920
EMMA GASPS
Oh, they're so evil!
844
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,600
EMMA LAUGHS
They are so evil.
845
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,600
Oh, no, no, no, no!
846
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,000
No, no, no, no, no!
I know! I know!
847
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,480
BABA CACKLES
848
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,440
Found it, yeah, I've got it!
849
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:16,560
In your faces! How did you see that?
850
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,320
You saw it and you went in...
Cos I'm a genius!
851
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,000
This is what I'm trying to tell you.
Oh, my God!
852
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,520
I'm obsessed with my team!
853
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:22,880
Right, come on.
854
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,880
What, you just saw it on the floor?
Yeah, I did.
855
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:28,520
SILVERWARE CLATTERS
856
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,400
OK.
857
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,160
That's probably enough.
What's the tongs for?
858
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,200
You want a tennis balls
rolling down there.
859
00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:36,240
Oh, I got you!
860
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,480
You're a genius, bro.
Come on. Right, OK.
861
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,400
Careful does it, careful...
862
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,960
Oh, I can sort of do it at
the same time. Yeah.
863
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,400
You've gotta chill.
864
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,240
Let's do this first, then we'll...
OK, that's a good idea.
865
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:49,520
Go from the middle, maybe?
866
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,240
You've each got your roles.
867
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,280
Yeah. What's your role, Baba?
868
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,520
Mine, I-I hold the balls.
869
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,880
And Emma? Well, I'm just sort
a supervisor, I reckon.
870
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,080
OK. And if it stops
balancing at one point,
871
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:03,920
I'll be there to go, "Hey".
872
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,960
LAUGHTER
873
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:08,960
Right.
874
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,800
Well, it's all looking pretty good.
875
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,160
LAUGHTER
876
00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:19,160
Right. Brilliant.
877
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,440
Nearly there. We're there,
we're going to win this.
878
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,120
All right. Yo, bro.
Chill out, my guy.
879
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:25,360
Yeah, yeah.
880
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,960
Bro, you got a space right here.
That's it!
881
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,480
Stop the clock! Come on!
882
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,000
I have stopped the clock.
883
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:32,640
That was wonderful to watch.
884
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,040
Thank you. Brilliant, really,
really, really awesome.
885
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,160
Yeah, yeah, come on.
Come on. My guy.
886
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,680
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
887
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,000
What a journey this
team's been on...
888
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,160
EMMA: Yeah.
..over this series. Yes.
889
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,480
It was very bonding,
this exercise, for us.
890
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:52,960
It was excellent. Thank you.
891
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,520
Do you want to tell me some stuff?
892
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,600
So, the team of two did it
pretty quickly.
893
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,480
You do get ten minutes added on for
every ball that touched the floor.
894
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:00,560
Can you tell us how many?
895
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,120
There were six balls that
struck the floor,
896
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:03,560
so that is an extra hour. But...
897
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,080
EMMA AND BABA CHORTLE
898
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,040
Oh, funny, isn't it?
Isn't it funny?
899
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,880
ROSIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
LAUGHTER
900
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,640
They took one hour, 19 minutes,
and 16 seconds.
901
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,440
Plays eight minutes,
the team of three. Eight minutes.
902
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,240
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
903
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,960
They were nine-and-a-half
times slower -
904
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,400
that's the difference between
the speed of a cheetah
905
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,960
and a running duck.
LAUGHTER
906
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,120
Points-wise, they obviously get 5,
but how many?
907
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:34,240
They did complete the task.
908
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,520
Well, there's gotta be a gulf,
if there's that big a time gulf.
909
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,000
Yes. Tell me the times again.
910
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:43,000
The team of three,
with six good arms -
911
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,480
eight minutes, 21, actually,
if that changes anything.
912
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,920
And the team of two - one hour,
19 minutes, and 16 seconds.
913
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,080
BABA: H-Hold on, hold on.
914
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,560
W-W-What's all of this, you've just,
wi-with, six good arms...
915
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,520
ROSIE: BABA!
916
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:58,440
I've got fucking cerebral palsy!
917
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,880
UPROARIOUS LAUGHTER
918
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,080
You picked a curly pipe!
919
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,080
LAUGHTER
920
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,360
APPLAUSE
921
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,120
5 points to this team,
3 points to that team. OK.
922
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:19,200
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
OK. That's it.
923
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:21,440
OK, floppy balls,
let's see the scoreboard!
924
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,600
Well, the team of three
are dominating.
925
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,400
Andy and Baba both have 15 points,
926
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,640
but in the lead, it's Emma,
with 18 points.
927
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,120
CHEERING
928
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,680
OK, everyone, can you stay
where you are and get ready
929
00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:37,360
for the final task of the show!
930
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,560
APPLAUSE
931
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,800
VOICE CRACKS: Hello!
LAUGHTER
932
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:46,840
What's the task?
933
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,520
Well, Emma Sidi's going to
tell us the task. Emma Sidi.
934
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:55,520
"Predict whether each item
will float or not float.
935
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,160
"If you are right, you get a point.
936
00:41:58,200 --> 00:41:59,640
"Most points wins."
937
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,160
Simple!
938
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,560
There are ten items. Ten items.
939
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,880
Each time, Greg will hold one up.
940
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,680
You hold up the paddle which says
either "float" or "not float".
941
00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:12,960
Lovely. Why doesn't it say "sink",
instead of "not float"?
942
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,080
We printed them before remembering
there was the opposite of float.
943
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,200
LAUGHTER
Good answer.
944
00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:19,680
Greg, what's the first item?
945
00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:22,520
ANGELIC CHORUS SINGS
And I present...
946
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:28,080
A cactus. Float or not float.
947
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,640
AUDIENCE AND EMMA OOHS
948
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,880
DING
Float!Float!
949
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,320
APPLAUSE
I present...
950
00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:39,800
A milkshake. Ooh!
951
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,360
SULTRILY: I demonstrate.
952
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:42,760
LAUGHTER
953
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,600
AUDIENCE OOHS
954
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:48,800
DING
Ah! Float!
955
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:52,280
It's a fake...shake.
956
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,640
Fuck you!
957
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,320
LAUGHTER
958
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:56,600
Item number three.
959
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:00,720
Little duckie.
It's going to be a trick.
960
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:04,760
Is it a trick, Jack, or is it just
a classic rubber duck?
961
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:08,280
I hope it's a trick,
cos it will be more interesting.
962
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,080
LAUGHTER
And predict! Let's see.
963
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:14,720
Godspeed, little duck.
964
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,600
BUZZER
CHEERING
965
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,240
I present...
966
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:20,960
A lime!
967
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,400
I don't even know if
a lime does float.
968
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:24,920
In real life.
969
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:26,880
Well, this is - we'll find out.
Yeah.
970
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,040
AUDIENCE OOHS
971
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,920
BUZZER
She sinks!
972
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,720
APPLAUSE
973
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:38,280
L'orange.
974
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:39,840
AUDIENCE OOHS
975
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,240
DING
They float, for God's sake!
976
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,000
Limes are more dense than oranges,
977
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:45,280
and more dense than water. What?!
978
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,440
LAUGHTER
A second duck.
979
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,160
All "float" - except for
Rosie Jones. For Rosie Jones.
980
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,080
You bank on two fake heavy ducks.
981
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:54,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
982
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:57,880
AUDIENCE OOHS
983
00:43:57,920 --> 00:43:59,520
DING
She swims.
984
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,760
APPLAUSE
985
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,920
HE PLAYS MELODY
986
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,000
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
987
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:17,120
DING
988
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,640
Yeah! Brilliant!
CHEERING
989
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,440
A house brick. Ohh!
990
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,440
See you at the Baftas.
991
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,280
LAUGHTER
992
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:28,440
Wow.
993
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,640
AUDIENCE OOHS
994
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:31,960
BUZZER
995
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,400
It's a brick!
OK, just two items left.
996
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,240
An egg. This is a lovely twist.
997
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,720
This is about
the freshness of the egg.
998
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,280
It's about the freshness of the egg.
999
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:43,920
They've all gone "float".
1000
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,560
AUDIENCE OOHS
1001
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:46,920
BUZZER
They are all wrong!
1002
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,600
You are all wrong! All wrong.
1003
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:50,280
All wrong! You are all wrong!
1004
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:52,880
OK!
LAUGHTER
1005
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:54,360
And finally...
1006
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,240
DRAMATIC CHORUS SINGS
1007
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,280
Oh, plot twist!
1008
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,360
Bad egg or good egg?
1009
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,840
Baba thinks it's a
different type of egg.
1010
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,040
AUDIENCE OOHS
1011
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,480
BUZZER
It's just another egg, Baba!
1012
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,040
LAUGHTER
Let's add all this up and
1013
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,480
see how it affects the final score!
1014
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:16,920
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1015
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,240
Sink or float. A modern classic.
1016
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,360
Yes, it looked like Andy was
going to do a clean sweep.
1017
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,640
He really knew
the density of objects.
1018
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,440
Well, that's what comes with
watching a lot of cricket.
1019
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:32,480
LAUGHTER
1020
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,600
He gets 5 points.
4 to Jack, in second.
1021
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,000
The others get away with
coming joint third
1022
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,520
to get 3 points each.
1023
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,280
It is very tight.
1024
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,760
There's only 1 point in it
at the top.
1025
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:45,960
Andy has 20 points, but in the lead
- and winning the episode -
1026
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,160
is Emma, with 21 points!
Oh! Wow!
1027
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:49,880
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1028
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,640
Emma Sidi wins!
1029
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:58,120
Please canter up to collect your
unconventional containers!
1030
00:45:58,160 --> 00:45:59,680
BABA WHOOPS
1031
00:45:59,720 --> 00:46:02,440
So, what have we learnt today?
1032
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,920
We've learnt that sometimes,
you can get caught up in
1033
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,920
the mundanity of everyday life.
1034
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:08,800
Maybe you have to get
the kids to school,
1035
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,760
maybe you have an office job which
isn't fulfilling at the moment.
1036
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:15,640
But we all have the ability to take
ourselves away from it, just stop.
1037
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:19,480
Step out, go into nature
and breathe it in.
1038
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:24,320
EMMA'S HAUNTING VOCALISING PLAYS
1039
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:32,440
LAUGHTER
HAUNTING VOCALISING CONTINUES
1040
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:33,600
Is that...
1041
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:35,120
Is that the Jackson 5?
1042
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,000
LAUGHTER
1043
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:40,640
That's it, then,
just the grand final to go.
1044
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,960
But to see it out, here she is,
the winner of episode nine,
1045
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,680
Emma Sidi!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1046
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:13,680
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
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