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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,725 --> 00:00:02,031 You're the new sub, right? 2 00:00:02,055 --> 00:00:03,619 I am, it's my first week... 3 00:00:03,619 --> 00:00:05,661 I was just actually gonna ask if you wanted to maybe check out 4 00:00:05,661 --> 00:00:08,544 this art show that I'm sure is going to be absolutely terrible... 5 00:00:08,636 --> 00:00:10,304 - Hi, I'm Ace. - Oh, Hannah. 6 00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:12,298 - Mimi's former partner. - Oh God, I'm Hannah, 7 00:00:12,323 --> 00:00:13,598 Adam's former partner. 8 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,253 She's a bad, bad girl... who knows what works... 9 00:00:16,254 --> 00:00:17,185 We live together. 10 00:00:17,210 --> 00:00:18,935 Enjoy it while it lasts, 'cause I'm gonna get her back. 11 00:00:18,954 --> 00:00:19,816 Balled her! 12 00:00:19,835 --> 00:00:22,447 - He's with you now... - Well if you actually did 13 00:00:22,448 --> 00:00:24,965 want him back, I might say you can have him. 14 00:00:24,965 --> 00:00:27,833 This is the whole reason why I set you up with her... 15 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,431 so that I could get Ace. 16 00:00:29,453 --> 00:00:32,546 I just wanted to tell you that I really like Mimi-Rose... 17 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:36,654 Congratulations... and I just wanted to say that I get it. 18 00:00:40,111 --> 00:00:44,711 Sync & corrections by PetaG - www.MY-SUBS.com - 19 00:00:47,239 --> 00:00:48,688 - Wow. - Yeah? 20 00:00:48,723 --> 00:00:51,970 - I feel really good, like we cracked it. - I guess so. 21 00:00:51,982 --> 00:00:53,634 Oh, I was feeling so angry at you, 22 00:00:53,635 --> 00:00:56,057 but I feel like you're really supporting my tenure now. 23 00:00:56,075 --> 00:00:58,534 I am, I do, of course. I'm so proud of you. 24 00:00:58,535 --> 00:00:59,566 Of us, even. 25 00:00:59,618 --> 00:01:02,447 Get a load of those two, the dread on their faces? 26 00:01:02,466 --> 00:01:03,980 - Jesus. - I know. 27 00:01:04,024 --> 00:01:06,628 Uh, I feel there's something I want to share with you. 28 00:01:06,653 --> 00:01:08,686 - You do? - Yeah, I do. Uh... 29 00:01:08,711 --> 00:01:12,115 I've been thinking lately that I'm... I'm-I'm gay. 30 00:01:12,153 --> 00:01:13,329 What? 31 00:01:13,381 --> 00:01:15,498 Not lately, actually. For a while. 32 00:01:15,550 --> 00:01:18,242 Shut up, Tad. 33 00:01:18,243 --> 00:01:20,581 - What is this, one of your stupid pranks? - No, it's not. 34 00:01:20,587 --> 00:01:22,435 Loreen, you have to listen to me. I think I'm gay. 35 00:01:22,436 --> 00:01:24,497 - You think? - No, I am. 36 00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:25,877 I don't think, I am. 37 00:01:25,896 --> 00:01:28,054 - No, you're not. - Why are you saying that? 38 00:01:28,073 --> 00:01:29,643 Oh, please, you're not gay. 39 00:01:29,644 --> 00:01:31,129 I think it would've come up. 40 00:01:31,141 --> 00:01:33,009 It is coming up right now. I'm serious. 41 00:01:33,022 --> 00:01:36,009 This is ridiculous. We were in therapy two seconds ago. 42 00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:37,422 - You weren't gay in there. - Yes, I was. 43 00:01:37,423 --> 00:01:39,097 I just didn't want to share it with her. 44 00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:41,285 That is who you're supposed to be sharing it with, 45 00:01:41,291 --> 00:01:43,191 our therapist who we pay. 46 00:01:43,192 --> 00:01:45,185 Yeah, I just couldn't do it. I don't trust her. 47 00:01:45,534 --> 00:01:48,615 - I call bullshit on this. - Excuse me? 48 00:01:49,784 --> 00:01:52,535 You are unhappy, Tad. You're not gay. 49 00:01:52,587 --> 00:01:55,172 You're just making this up because you're a little bit chickenshit. 50 00:01:55,173 --> 00:01:57,932 I'm not making this up. I really don't think I'm making this up. 51 00:01:57,933 --> 00:02:01,258 You cannot stand the fact that I got tenure before you did, can you? 52 00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:03,133 That's what this is about. At the end of the day, 53 00:02:03,145 --> 00:02:05,923 every single fucking thing comes down to misogyny, doesn't it? 54 00:02:05,936 --> 00:02:07,431 Can you hear yourself right now? 55 00:02:07,432 --> 00:02:09,617 This is a real display, is what this is. 56 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:13,085 You wait till your hand is on the doorknob of our therapist's office 57 00:02:13,086 --> 00:02:14,655 to tell me some lie about being gay? 58 00:02:14,661 --> 00:02:16,935 Just man up, say you don't want to fuck me! 59 00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:17,998 You think that's what this is? 60 00:02:17,999 --> 00:02:19,312 That I want to be saying this? 61 00:02:19,364 --> 00:02:21,326 I think you want to be saying it because you're saying it. 62 00:02:21,332 --> 00:02:23,283 You're saying it to me right now, right fucking now. 63 00:02:23,318 --> 00:02:26,142 All right, in hindsight, this actually seems like some pretty terrible timing. 64 00:02:26,143 --> 00:02:27,236 I wasn't planning it. 65 00:02:27,289 --> 00:02:30,220 I wanted to wait until after your tenure party. 66 00:02:30,221 --> 00:02:33,326 - I knew it was about that. - Oh, fuck! 67 00:02:33,378 --> 00:02:36,364 I need to tell you this. I have to tell you this, 68 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:37,908 if for one second you can try to fathom 69 00:02:37,909 --> 00:02:39,999 that this is not all about you. 70 00:02:43,423 --> 00:02:45,505 It's not not about me, Tad. 71 00:02:45,557 --> 00:02:47,557 It's not not. 72 00:03:00,355 --> 00:03:03,088 Okay, guys, Miss Pontbriand's gonna be back on Monday 73 00:03:03,089 --> 00:03:04,651 and, unlike me, she's not easy. 74 00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,795 She's not gonna tolerate a half-finished haiku. 75 00:03:06,796 --> 00:03:10,459 They're very short, there are very few syllables, so just go for it. 76 00:03:10,460 --> 00:03:11,909 What else do you have to do? You're children. 77 00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:12,928 Have a great weekend. 78 00:03:16,671 --> 00:03:19,791 - 'Sup, Cleo? - I don't even know. 79 00:03:19,797 --> 00:03:21,371 Is he being weird again? 80 00:03:21,372 --> 00:03:22,921 He's being so weird. 81 00:03:22,922 --> 00:03:24,889 He basically hasn't talked to me since Tuesday 82 00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:26,414 when he Facebook messaged me. 83 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,657 Today he followed Tessa to the 13th-floor gym 84 00:03:28,658 --> 00:03:30,532 and asked her if she was into porn. 85 00:03:30,533 --> 00:03:33,467 Ew. Is she into porn? 86 00:03:33,468 --> 00:03:36,612 I don't know. I don't even know how he would know. 87 00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:37,923 Listen, I don't like him for you. 88 00:03:37,924 --> 00:03:39,529 I don't like anyone here for you. 89 00:03:39,530 --> 00:03:41,129 I've checked out every guy in this school 90 00:03:41,130 --> 00:03:42,528 and none of them are cute. 91 00:03:42,564 --> 00:03:44,695 I don't even like him, I'm just bored. 92 00:03:44,696 --> 00:03:46,370 I like Shia LaBeouf, though. 93 00:03:46,371 --> 00:03:48,496 Well, Shia LaBeouf's famous, 94 00:03:48,509 --> 00:03:51,954 so it's not like you're gonna make that connection... So... 95 00:03:51,990 --> 00:03:53,823 He lives in my building. 96 00:03:53,825 --> 00:03:55,958 He is hot. 97 00:03:55,994 --> 00:03:59,218 And I like the kind of, like, light criminal activity. 98 00:03:59,219 --> 00:04:00,747 I think I can help him. 99 00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:04,024 I don't even like Mark. He has HPV. 100 00:04:04,025 --> 00:04:04,986 He has HPV? 101 00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:06,811 I mean, the disease itself isn't that big a deal. 102 00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:09,081 It's just kinda crazy he has it when he's 14. 103 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,174 He had sex with a girl in Poland. 104 00:04:11,226 --> 00:04:12,763 Like, a Polish girl? 105 00:04:12,764 --> 00:04:16,431 Like, a girl from Long Island who was on his team tour. 106 00:04:16,432 --> 00:04:19,471 Oh, my God, where did they do it? Like, the hotel? 107 00:04:19,472 --> 00:04:21,177 Auschwitz. 108 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,902 They had sex at Auschwitz? 109 00:04:24,355 --> 00:04:26,406 - Hi. - Hello. 110 00:04:26,441 --> 00:04:28,074 Hi, Cleo. 111 00:04:28,109 --> 00:04:30,193 Hi, Mr. Parker. Cool T-shirt. 112 00:04:30,245 --> 00:04:33,029 Oh, thanks. Yeah, my mom got it for me. _ 113 00:04:33,031 --> 00:04:34,864 Cool. 114 00:04:38,036 --> 00:04:39,786 - Okay. - Okay. 115 00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:44,240 Okay, you just made that so awkward. 116 00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:45,959 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 117 00:04:45,972 --> 00:04:48,344 You want to get something pierced? 118 00:04:48,379 --> 00:04:50,332 I have a class at 2:00 pm, so... 119 00:04:50,338 --> 00:04:51,631 I do, too. 120 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:54,792 Okay. 121 00:04:55,324 --> 00:04:58,271 Like, upper ear cartilage or like something else? 122 00:04:58,306 --> 00:05:02,338 Mr. Parker left the date because he was embarrassed. He felt belittled. 123 00:05:02,339 --> 00:05:05,594 Yeah, but then he hasn't mentioned it at all since or followed up remotely. 124 00:05:05,595 --> 00:05:08,075 Yeah, because he thinks you don't like him, so he's being coy. 125 00:05:08,076 --> 00:05:11,174 But I do like him. I think. 126 00:05:11,175 --> 00:05:12,506 I don't know yet. 127 00:05:12,507 --> 00:05:15,937 It seems to me you've made poor relationship choices in the past. 128 00:05:15,943 --> 00:05:17,740 Your ex seems really damaged. 129 00:05:17,792 --> 00:05:19,242 He is really damaged. 130 00:05:19,294 --> 00:05:22,090 Oh, my God, Cleo, you are so wise. 131 00:05:22,091 --> 00:05:23,603 ♪ I know you're never gonna wake up... ♪ 132 00:05:23,604 --> 00:05:24,831 It's so weird because this song 133 00:05:24,883 --> 00:05:26,515 is about everything we were just talking about. 134 00:05:26,516 --> 00:05:27,884 ♪ I know I shouldn't ever call back ♪ 135 00:05:27,919 --> 00:05:31,170 - ♪ Or let you come back ♪ - ♪ Or let you, ooh, ooh ♪ 136 00:05:31,171 --> 00:05:35,651 ♪ Every time you touch me and say you love me... ♪ 137 00:05:35,652 --> 00:05:37,994 Work it, girls! I like what I'm seeing! 138 00:05:37,995 --> 00:05:39,775 ♪ I shouldn't want it... ♪ 139 00:05:39,776 --> 00:05:42,681 Please! We're children! 140 00:05:42,682 --> 00:05:45,268 ♪ I got one less, one, baby, yeah... ♪ 141 00:05:45,269 --> 00:05:48,544 - Come on. - Go, run! 142 00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:50,273 Come here, sexy love. 143 00:05:52,610 --> 00:05:54,110 - Hi. - Hi. 144 00:05:54,112 --> 00:05:55,495 What's happening? 145 00:05:55,530 --> 00:05:58,987 Uh, are you ready to be stoked right now? 146 00:05:58,988 --> 00:06:01,617 Uh, yeah. What's up? 147 00:06:01,619 --> 00:06:06,339 What's up is the contents of this fucking amazing box 148 00:06:06,374 --> 00:06:10,543 that are about to change our lives forever. 149 00:06:18,553 --> 00:06:20,603 - I mean... - What? 150 00:06:20,638 --> 00:06:22,822 I just... I have no idea what these are. 151 00:06:22,823 --> 00:06:24,710 Okay, let me tell you. I'll walk you through this. 152 00:06:24,723 --> 00:06:25,942 - What these are... - Mm-hmm. 153 00:06:25,977 --> 00:06:28,575 ...are the tightest fucking German guitar pedals 154 00:06:28,576 --> 00:06:30,157 ever made in history, okay? 155 00:06:30,158 --> 00:06:31,614 These pedals... baby, these... 156 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:35,438 - These pedals are so sick. - Yeah? 157 00:06:35,439 --> 00:06:38,457 These pedals single-handedly created the distortion 158 00:06:38,463 --> 00:06:41,094 that became the My Bloody Valentine sound. 159 00:06:41,106 --> 00:06:41,724 Uh-huh. 160 00:06:41,725 --> 00:06:43,949 They're gonna do the same thing for us, I promise you. 161 00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,219 I didn't know we were looking for a new sound. 162 00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:48,306 Well, maybe not right now, but down the road. 163 00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:50,174 Thinking second album, third album. 164 00:06:51,719 --> 00:06:53,744 - You're so excited. - Oh, my God. 165 00:06:53,757 --> 00:06:55,702 Oh, my God, it was such a sick deal, too. 166 00:06:55,703 --> 00:06:56,914 I couldn't pass it up. 167 00:06:56,915 --> 00:06:59,809 - How much were they? - $2,000. 168 00:06:59,844 --> 00:07:01,344 Are you fucking serious? 169 00:07:01,346 --> 00:07:02,678 No way. 170 00:07:02,730 --> 00:07:05,196 - I'm like, ah! - Wait, Desi. 171 00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:06,849 That is our entire advance. 172 00:07:06,901 --> 00:07:08,317 $2,000? 173 00:07:08,353 --> 00:07:11,658 Yeah. I mean, the guy had no idea what he had. 174 00:07:11,659 --> 00:07:14,215 Desi, there's nothing on this entire fucking planet 175 00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:16,134 that's worth our whole advance. 176 00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:20,643 Whoa, I'm, like, so super confused right now, babe. 177 00:07:20,644 --> 00:07:21,831 I thought you'd be psyched. 178 00:07:21,866 --> 00:07:23,332 No, no. Why? 179 00:07:23,368 --> 00:07:25,368 Why on Earth would I be excited about this? 180 00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:27,119 Marn, this is our art, 181 00:07:27,171 --> 00:07:28,588 right? This is what we do. 182 00:07:28,623 --> 00:07:31,290 This box makes our art stronger, hon. 183 00:07:31,342 --> 00:07:33,596 No, those have to be returned now. 184 00:07:33,597 --> 00:07:35,697 Okay, even if I wanted to return them, 185 00:07:35,698 --> 00:07:37,129 which I powerfully do not, 186 00:07:37,181 --> 00:07:38,954 that's not happening, okay, babe? 187 00:07:38,955 --> 00:07:40,636 The guy's halfway to Toronto by now. 188 00:07:40,637 --> 00:07:42,061 - Oh, my God. - They're not going back, hon. 189 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,363 I cannot believe this. $2,000, Desi. 190 00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,813 Do you know what else that could've bought? 191 00:07:45,814 --> 00:07:47,907 $2,000 on that? 192 00:07:47,908 --> 00:07:51,727 I cannot believe you're being such a fuckin' bitch about this. 193 00:07:51,779 --> 00:07:53,225 - Fuck you, Desi. - I'm walking. 194 00:07:53,226 --> 00:07:54,280 - Fuck you! - All right! 195 00:07:54,315 --> 00:07:56,863 Go think about this decision you made. 196 00:07:57,819 --> 00:07:59,986 Thanks for ruining my day! 197 00:08:00,038 --> 00:08:02,488 Rain cloud. 198 00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:03,956 Fuck. 199 00:08:05,209 --> 00:08:07,503 The thing is, if you really like him, 200 00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:10,697 you have to make it clear that you're young, fun, and flaky. 201 00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:14,122 Okay, Jessa, I stopped taking advice from you quite some time ago. 202 00:08:14,123 --> 00:08:16,359 Yeah, and notice that since then 203 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,778 you have been unemployed with a sandy, broken vagina. 204 00:08:19,779 --> 00:08:21,744 I'm going through the same thing right now, Shoshanna, 205 00:08:21,745 --> 00:08:23,207 with regards to Ace. 206 00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:25,290 I've shown up at two of his commercial shoots, 207 00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:27,443 and one time I was dressed as a little match girl, 208 00:08:27,444 --> 00:08:29,681 and since then I haven't picked up one of his calls. 209 00:08:29,682 --> 00:08:33,006 Ace tries to tell me that, like, he's not in a sexual place right now, 210 00:08:33,007 --> 00:08:34,912 but one more day of radio silence 211 00:08:34,913 --> 00:08:37,823 and he will be knocking at our front door, naked. 212 00:08:40,611 --> 00:08:43,127 I mean, this is kind of your gift. 213 00:08:43,128 --> 00:08:45,362 It's kind of my gift? 214 00:08:45,363 --> 00:08:48,577 Shoshanna, I have four fucking suicide attempts under my belt, 215 00:08:48,578 --> 00:08:50,536 men who just couldn't live without me. 216 00:08:50,621 --> 00:08:52,121 Ace is different. He's, like, 217 00:08:52,173 --> 00:08:54,590 so self-possessed and random. 218 00:08:54,625 --> 00:08:56,324 Scott is so amazing, too. 219 00:08:56,325 --> 00:08:58,174 I mean, he's smart, he's handsome. 220 00:08:58,175 --> 00:09:00,527 How the fuck am I supposed to make an impression on that? 221 00:09:01,196 --> 00:09:03,466 You have to, you know, employ an element of surprise. 222 00:09:03,468 --> 00:09:06,132 Ooh, like jump out from behind something and scare him? 223 00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:10,272 No, like show him an act of love when he least expects it. 224 00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:18,333 What about a frenulum piercing? 225 00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:20,246 - What? - Your frenulum. 226 00:09:20,247 --> 00:09:22,122 It's like that webbing under your tongue. 227 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,134 And there's no way your mom would ever see that. 228 00:09:24,135 --> 00:09:26,238 - That's gross. - I think it's cool. 229 00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:29,416 I think it's, like, sexual, but not too on the nose. 230 00:09:29,417 --> 00:09:30,584 And it could be like a friendship thing. 231 00:09:30,585 --> 00:09:33,295 - We'll both do it. - Okay. 232 00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:35,164 Excuse me? 233 00:09:35,216 --> 00:09:39,272 Could we get two best "friendulum" piercings, please? 234 00:09:40,888 --> 00:09:42,171 Who wants to go first? 235 00:09:42,223 --> 00:09:43,672 She does. 236 00:09:49,347 --> 00:09:50,990 Which earring? 237 00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:53,682 I like the barbell. That's kind of badass. 238 00:09:53,684 --> 00:09:55,267 Gold ring. 239 00:09:55,319 --> 00:09:58,320 Yeah, I think the gold ring's by far the way to go. 240 00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:03,409 - Can you hold this? - Yeah, of course. 241 00:10:03,444 --> 00:10:05,745 Oh, look, he is basically ready. 242 00:10:07,615 --> 00:10:09,782 So you just plop down there. 243 00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:12,752 Just breathe. It's really... 244 00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:16,038 it's gonna be a chill process, for sure. 245 00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:19,041 So, just so you know, he's just getting the clamp ready. 246 00:10:19,043 --> 00:10:21,882 He's putting a little bit of a solution on the needle, 247 00:10:21,883 --> 00:10:23,849 which seems like a good sign. 248 00:10:23,868 --> 00:10:26,215 Now he's just gonna take the needle... 249 00:10:27,552 --> 00:10:29,268 Putting the clamp. 250 00:10:29,303 --> 00:10:32,388 Are... are you doing it? 251 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,401 It's going right in... 252 00:10:34,402 --> 00:10:35,858 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 253 00:10:35,893 --> 00:10:37,059 - Okay. - Ow! Ow! Ow! 254 00:10:37,061 --> 00:10:38,561 Cleo, you okay? 255 00:10:38,613 --> 00:10:40,790 - Ah! - Ow! Ow! 256 00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:42,471 I can't do this. She's moving too much. 257 00:10:42,472 --> 00:10:43,526 Okay, you're moving too much, 258 00:10:43,552 --> 00:10:45,177 - so just pull this hand down. - Ow! Ow! Ow! 259 00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:46,970 It's halfway through. You need to calm down. 260 00:10:46,971 --> 00:10:48,613 - Just shove it through. - Stop, stop... 261 00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:49,732 Just push it through. 262 00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,201 Just push it through. It's okay. 263 00:10:51,202 --> 00:10:52,658 - Ow! Ow! - It's okay. 264 00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:54,971 It's okay, just push it right through. 265 00:10:55,963 --> 00:10:58,350 - Don't... Cleo... - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 266 00:10:58,351 --> 00:11:00,631 - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! - Just keep it down. 267 00:11:00,632 --> 00:11:04,162 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 268 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,137 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 269 00:11:05,173 --> 00:11:07,923 It's almost done. It's almost done, okay? 270 00:11:07,975 --> 00:11:09,592 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 271 00:11:09,644 --> 00:11:12,478 It's through, Cleo. 272 00:11:12,513 --> 00:11:14,847 Cleo, it looks so good. 273 00:11:16,871 --> 00:11:18,639 Are you gonna go now? 274 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:19,985 Fuck, no. 275 00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:21,745 You said you were gonna go. 276 00:11:21,746 --> 00:11:24,021 Listen, let's get friendship necklaces, 277 00:11:24,022 --> 00:11:25,303 friendship bracelets. 278 00:11:25,304 --> 00:11:26,740 But that was fucking heinous to watch. 279 00:11:26,741 --> 00:11:28,341 You're such a pussy. 280 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,834 Listen, as an older woman and as your friend, 281 00:11:30,835 --> 00:11:32,502 a great lesson I can teach you 282 00:11:32,503 --> 00:11:34,416 is that it's okay to change your mind. 283 00:11:34,452 --> 00:11:35,918 Show me. 284 00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:39,538 So cool! 285 00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:41,403 Hi, guys. Do you live in the district and have a moment 286 00:11:41,404 --> 00:11:41,945 No. 287 00:11:41,971 --> 00:11:42,953 to talk about the upcoming election? 288 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,960 I don't know, I think we should go. 289 00:11:44,962 --> 00:11:48,097 Okay, Ray, you need to step up your game. 290 00:11:48,132 --> 00:11:51,133 - Step up my game? - Yeah. 291 00:11:51,135 --> 00:11:53,269 Hi, do you live in the district and... 292 00:11:54,555 --> 00:11:56,400 Hi, excuse me. This is Ray Ploshansky. 293 00:11:56,401 --> 00:11:58,600 He's running for community board chairperson. 294 00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:01,856 He's in favor of no taxes and also free bagels every morning before 11:00. 295 00:12:01,857 --> 00:12:03,378 All right, I'm in. 296 00:12:03,379 --> 00:12:06,482 Wonderful, thank you. 297 00:12:06,534 --> 00:12:09,297 - See you later. - I'll see you later. 298 00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:12,526 - Oh, not if I see you first. - Not if I see you first. 299 00:12:12,527 --> 00:12:14,001 All right, Tarzan, let's wrap it up. 300 00:12:14,002 --> 00:12:15,708 Let's get you down the block. Thank you. 301 00:12:17,211 --> 00:12:20,161 - What the fuck was that? - I'm campaigning. 302 00:12:20,162 --> 00:12:22,880 Shosh, you can't just lie to people. You know? 303 00:12:22,893 --> 00:12:25,084 Honesty is the one thing separating me from other politicians. 304 00:12:25,136 --> 00:12:27,579 Ray, no politician is a fan of honesty. 305 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,638 You have to focus on results. 306 00:12:29,674 --> 00:12:32,016 The fact that you're not already running 307 00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:34,116 a Fortune 500 company is baffling to me. 308 00:12:34,117 --> 00:12:36,972 Okay, please, please, can we not talk about my stifled job situation? 309 00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,514 My brain really needs a repose. 310 00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:41,267 Sure. 311 00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:44,987 - So how's the love life? - Seriously, Ray? 312 00:12:45,022 --> 00:12:47,656 Shosh, I think we should be able to talk about this sort of stuff by now. 313 00:12:47,692 --> 00:12:50,743 - Don't you think? - Okay. 314 00:12:50,778 --> 00:12:53,862 Well, then, since you asked, I happen to have a date 315 00:12:53,864 --> 00:12:56,335 with a man who is very much intriguing to me. 316 00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:57,199 Is that weird for you? 317 00:12:57,201 --> 00:13:01,036 No. No, I think that's great. 318 00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:03,956 I think you deserve someone who's very much intriguing. 319 00:13:05,209 --> 00:13:08,501 - How about you? - Me? I got nothin'. 320 00:13:08,502 --> 00:13:11,180 Crickets and tumbleweeds, that's what I got. 321 00:13:11,215 --> 00:13:14,676 I went on, um, eHarmony the other day. 322 00:13:14,677 --> 00:13:16,807 Yeah, but I didn't even start the process of actually... 323 00:13:16,808 --> 00:13:18,549 - Ray! - Would you like a flyer? 324 00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:19,775 - Ray, that's wonderful. - Yeah. 325 00:13:19,776 --> 00:13:22,568 My best friend Zeva met her soul mate on eHarmony. 326 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,386 And he used to be a professional baseball player, 327 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,455 so there's no stigma. 328 00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,313 No, no, it's not that. It's not a... 329 00:13:27,365 --> 00:13:30,366 There's someone I know I don't want to be with. 330 00:13:30,401 --> 00:13:31,817 Like, I know it. 331 00:13:31,869 --> 00:13:33,419 I know we're not the right fit, I get it. 332 00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,904 But despite that, there's, you know... 333 00:13:35,906 --> 00:13:37,811 it's one of those things where you're waiting for your heart 334 00:13:37,812 --> 00:13:38,874 to catch up to your brain. 335 00:13:38,909 --> 00:13:42,828 Ray, you are going to find somebody, I promise, 336 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,080 who is so much more right for you than I ever was. 337 00:13:45,166 --> 00:13:47,584 Shosh, that's so sweet of you to say. 338 00:13:47,585 --> 00:13:51,503 I appreciate it, but I'm actually not talking about you right now. 339 00:13:52,023 --> 00:13:53,756 Well, then who are... 340 00:13:55,514 --> 00:13:57,297 fucking Marnie?! 341 00:13:57,298 --> 00:13:59,929 Okay, you don't need to... volume. 342 00:13:59,930 --> 00:14:01,216 Where are you going? 343 00:14:01,217 --> 00:14:03,817 I'm campaigning over here. Excuse me, sir! 344 00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:05,934 - Okay, you don't... - Ray Ploshansky! 345 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,623 You okay? 346 00:14:30,461 --> 00:14:32,511 I got two bottles of Riesling. 347 00:14:32,546 --> 00:14:35,439 Riesling's too sweet. 348 00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:38,528 No one likes it. 349 00:14:39,103 --> 00:14:42,471 - Should I get something else? - Don't bother. 350 00:14:49,196 --> 00:14:51,447 Whoa, hey, slow it down, my brother. 351 00:14:56,037 --> 00:14:58,365 - Hey. - Hey. 352 00:14:58,366 --> 00:15:00,372 - How's it goin'? - Yeah, it's goin'. 353 00:15:00,408 --> 00:15:02,958 Just ol' National History Day. 354 00:15:02,993 --> 00:15:06,400 I just wanted to apologize about our date the other night. 355 00:15:06,401 --> 00:15:08,625 That was not the way that I wanted to act. 356 00:15:08,626 --> 00:15:11,618 I kinda really messed that one up. 357 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,419 I kinda got away from myself and... 358 00:15:13,471 --> 00:15:17,589 before the shit hit the fan, I was having an amazing time. 359 00:15:17,641 --> 00:15:21,143 Well, I appreciate that. Thanks. Yeah, no worries. 360 00:15:21,178 --> 00:15:24,829 I've been trying to make some kinda better choices in my life 361 00:15:24,830 --> 00:15:27,073 and, you know, new choices, 362 00:15:27,074 --> 00:15:29,485 and I think one of those choices would be to hang out with you. 363 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,270 - And, you know, make up for the nonsense. - Oh, yeah. 364 00:15:32,271 --> 00:15:34,690 Yeah. 365 00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:39,035 Uh, I can't do that. 366 00:15:40,197 --> 00:15:43,099 Okay, can you explain why you can't do it? 367 00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:46,386 Is it, like, a scheduling issue? Or... 368 00:15:46,387 --> 00:15:49,088 Yeah, look, um, 369 00:15:49,123 --> 00:15:53,175 you're a very smart and, uh, unusual person, 370 00:15:53,210 --> 00:15:55,852 and I like talking with you very much. 371 00:15:55,853 --> 00:15:57,513 - Ditto. - Cool. 372 00:15:57,548 --> 00:16:01,597 But I'm just trying to, you know, not be so attracted to drama. 373 00:16:01,603 --> 00:16:03,316 Uh, on the whole. 374 00:16:03,322 --> 00:16:06,555 To lead a calmer life, as Mary J. Blige tells us to. 375 00:16:06,607 --> 00:16:10,088 My ex entirely drained my bank account... 376 00:16:10,089 --> 00:16:12,720 - I'm sorry. -...and then... well, thank you... 377 00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:15,757 finished it off by-by pouring battery acid on my plants. 378 00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:17,083 Well, you wouldn't have to worry about that with me 379 00:16:17,084 --> 00:16:18,817 'cause I don't even know where you'd find battery acid. 380 00:16:18,869 --> 00:16:20,725 You, like, chop open a bunch of batteries? 381 00:16:20,726 --> 00:16:22,578 That would take hours, like making pomegranate juice. 382 00:16:22,579 --> 00:16:25,121 Hannah, Hannah, I'm trying to be gentle here. 383 00:16:25,122 --> 00:16:27,009 Fran, I'm not the person that you think I am. 384 00:16:27,010 --> 00:16:29,677 I think you are exactly the person that I think you are. 385 00:16:29,678 --> 00:16:31,702 I think you're not the person that you think you are. 386 00:16:31,709 --> 00:16:33,358 I think that's where the confusion is. 387 00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:36,084 - Uh-uh. - Yuh-huh. 388 00:16:36,086 --> 00:16:39,471 Look, just hear me on this, okay, please? 389 00:16:39,507 --> 00:16:41,501 - You can walk away... - Okay. 390 00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:42,925 - and I'm just gonna leave you with this. - Okay. 391 00:16:42,927 --> 00:16:45,792 And percolate on it over the weekend like your little coffee machine. 392 00:16:45,793 --> 00:16:47,012 Just... 393 00:16:47,064 --> 00:16:51,400 You're attracted to me, you're intrigued by me, 394 00:16:51,435 --> 00:16:54,117 you think I'm a wild horse and you want to tame me. 395 00:16:54,118 --> 00:16:57,073 I understand all of that. It's the new frontier of misogyny. 396 00:16:57,074 --> 00:16:59,358 Take a woman who's in control of her life 397 00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:02,361 and then silence her. 398 00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:04,163 And I'm up for it. 399 00:17:10,337 --> 00:17:14,089 - 'Sup? - Hey, Rider. Hey, Rainbow. 400 00:17:14,124 --> 00:17:19,154 Okay, she published all of your emails on her Tumblr? 401 00:17:19,155 --> 00:17:21,930 Yeah. I'm telling you, she lost her mind. 402 00:17:21,931 --> 00:17:25,667 She decided that I was the embodiment of the white male oppressor. 403 00:17:25,668 --> 00:17:28,442 - Yeah. - And I was like, "Did I not just pay 404 00:17:28,443 --> 00:17:29,771 for your cat's dialysis?" 405 00:17:29,807 --> 00:17:31,231 Bitches be cray. 406 00:17:31,232 --> 00:17:33,809 Yes, thank you. 407 00:17:33,861 --> 00:17:37,909 Well, anyway, thank you so much for joining me for a meal 408 00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:40,697 even though I know we got off on a strange foot. 409 00:17:40,698 --> 00:17:42,367 No, it's... I'm a renegade. 410 00:17:42,403 --> 00:17:45,195 You know, things get crazy for me and, like, you wouldn't be the first. So... 411 00:17:45,782 --> 00:17:47,426 Yeah, I'm also totally unemployed, 412 00:17:47,432 --> 00:17:49,181 so I can pretty much be anywhere at any time. 413 00:17:49,182 --> 00:17:52,625 Well, you won't be unemployed for long 'cause you're a real doer. 414 00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:54,796 That's totally what I thought, 415 00:17:54,832 --> 00:17:57,581 but this whole experience has been, like, so disheartening. 416 00:17:57,582 --> 00:18:01,160 I was so sure that I was gonna be able to show, like, all of my failure friends 417 00:18:01,161 --> 00:18:02,828 how easy it was to have a viable job, 418 00:18:02,829 --> 00:18:05,340 but, no, I'm now a failure, too. 419 00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:09,094 Okay, we don't use those words... 420 00:18:09,146 --> 00:18:13,765 "failure," "pathetic," "loser," "lame." 421 00:18:13,817 --> 00:18:16,523 - Okay. - Okay? 422 00:18:16,524 --> 00:18:17,853 Okay. 423 00:18:20,491 --> 00:18:21,911 What about "lamesauce"? 424 00:18:23,110 --> 00:18:24,967 Um, okay, yeah. 425 00:18:24,968 --> 00:18:26,493 "Lamesauce" is okay. I'll accept that. 426 00:18:26,494 --> 00:18:28,196 - Okay. - That one's fine. 427 00:18:33,921 --> 00:18:35,203 Hi, Shanaz! 428 00:18:35,256 --> 00:18:37,285 Yay! Hello! 429 00:18:37,286 --> 00:18:39,292 Shanaz, can we get "Watchtower"? 430 00:18:39,293 --> 00:18:41,436 It's those annoying Seventh-day Adventists again. 431 00:18:42,212 --> 00:18:44,279 So I guess it takes you getting tenure 432 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,816 to finally get you over here, huh? 433 00:18:45,817 --> 00:18:46,529 Well, you know what they say, 434 00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:48,267 there's no party like a tenure party. 435 00:18:48,271 --> 00:18:49,691 Who the hell says that? 436 00:18:49,692 --> 00:18:51,984 - It's, ah, Riesling. It's too sweet. - Oh. 437 00:18:51,985 --> 00:18:53,466 - Thank you. - It's not too sweet. 438 00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,191 If the Germans like it, how sweet can it be? 439 00:18:55,192 --> 00:18:56,841 That's wonderful of you. I'm so glad. 440 00:18:56,842 --> 00:18:58,310 We might not have enough to eat otherwise. 441 00:18:58,362 --> 00:19:00,159 Well, what can we do to help? 442 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,572 I know what would be extremely helpful. 443 00:19:01,578 --> 00:19:03,065 How about if you drank this drink, 444 00:19:03,117 --> 00:19:05,465 you walk with me a little bit, allow me to brag, 445 00:19:05,466 --> 00:19:07,573 and then I'm gonna show you the galleys of my new book. 446 00:19:07,574 --> 00:19:09,473 - How about that? - That sounds lovely, delicious. 447 00:19:09,474 --> 00:19:10,705 - Here we go. - Okay, cheers. 448 00:19:10,706 --> 00:19:12,337 - Girls, catch you in a minute. - Have fun, boys. 449 00:19:12,349 --> 00:19:14,023 Good luck, Tad. You may need the whole bottle. 450 00:19:14,024 --> 00:19:16,355 Oh, I invited Gregg and Thyme. 451 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,019 I know you hate them, but I had to do it. 452 00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:20,700 Oh, come on, they have those Hello Kitty lunchboxes. 453 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,382 - They're nice. - Hello Kitty? 454 00:19:23,383 --> 00:19:27,391 Okay, I know it's not your style to be the center of attention, 455 00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:29,891 but you worked for this. 456 00:19:29,927 --> 00:19:31,734 This is about you now. 457 00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,261 I am so proud of you. 458 00:19:33,314 --> 00:19:37,370 Oh, and furthermore, fuck that little classicist 459 00:19:37,371 --> 00:19:39,477 who thought she was gonna get your job. 460 00:19:39,484 --> 00:19:44,238 Fuck her right in her tiny little fuckface. 461 00:19:44,239 --> 00:19:47,745 It is good to know I never have to move again. 462 00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:50,946 Is that it? You always play everything down. 463 00:19:50,947 --> 00:19:52,809 This is your party. 464 00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:56,284 - Yay, your party! - Whoo! Whoo! 465 00:19:56,286 --> 00:19:58,954 Avi, this is fantastic. I'm so happy for you. 466 00:19:58,956 --> 00:20:00,622 You're very kind. 467 00:20:00,624 --> 00:20:02,007 So how's yours coming? 468 00:20:02,092 --> 00:20:05,748 Aw, you know, dribs and drabs. 469 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,796 It's sort of a weird time for me. 470 00:20:07,797 --> 00:20:09,077 Yeah, honestly, 471 00:20:09,078 --> 00:20:10,989 - I was sort of wondering about that. - Yeah. 472 00:20:10,990 --> 00:20:12,676 Yeah, I hope you don't mind my asking, 473 00:20:12,677 --> 00:20:14,739 but are things okay with you and Loreen? 474 00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:15,771 Oh, yeah. 475 00:20:15,806 --> 00:20:18,607 I noticed things looked, well, sort of strained. 476 00:20:18,642 --> 00:20:22,106 Well, it's a challenging moment, to be sure. 477 00:20:22,107 --> 00:20:24,522 Strange, you know? I mean, I'm wondering, 478 00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:28,900 how late is too late to change? 479 00:20:28,952 --> 00:20:30,702 You ever get that feeling? 480 00:20:30,738 --> 00:20:33,987 Listen, this is something everybody goes through. 481 00:20:33,988 --> 00:20:37,459 Trust me, Shanaz and I have been through it many, many times. 482 00:20:37,494 --> 00:20:38,660 Really? 483 00:20:38,662 --> 00:20:41,377 I mean, like, he was 12 years older than... 484 00:20:41,378 --> 00:20:43,943 I mean, sorry, he is 12 years older than I am 485 00:20:43,968 --> 00:20:45,834 - 'cause he's not dead. So... - Yeah. 486 00:20:45,886 --> 00:20:48,385 And I was like, "I wanna to be inspired by someone. 487 00:20:48,386 --> 00:20:49,847 I wanna be excited by someone. 488 00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:51,328 I wanna really respect somebody." 489 00:20:51,329 --> 00:20:53,583 And I do, I do respect him because he's his own man, 490 00:20:53,584 --> 00:20:55,046 and that totally takes courage, 491 00:20:55,047 --> 00:20:56,909 but he's also, like, a little bitch. 492 00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:59,058 Yeah, I-I get it. 493 00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:02,152 My-my ex, I think she just wanted to be the wife 494 00:21:02,153 --> 00:21:04,608 of a successful business guy, you know? 495 00:21:04,609 --> 00:21:07,684 And-and go to parties that Ivanka Trump would be at 496 00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:11,041 and buy a $17,000 couch, 497 00:21:11,042 --> 00:21:13,466 and that just was never gonna work for me 498 00:21:13,467 --> 00:21:17,249 'cause I... I want to watch someone soar. 499 00:21:18,168 --> 00:21:20,619 Yeah, me, too. 500 00:21:22,339 --> 00:21:24,420 But enough about the past. 501 00:21:24,421 --> 00:21:26,313 - Yeah. - Let's look towards the future. 502 00:21:26,314 --> 00:21:29,044 Totally. Forward-looking. That's the way to be. 503 00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:32,714 Like, I want to know more about the future... 504 00:21:32,766 --> 00:21:35,050 of your cock. 505 00:21:35,591 --> 00:21:37,027 Excuse me? 506 00:21:37,028 --> 00:21:39,642 Yeah, I want to know more about the future of your, 507 00:21:39,643 --> 00:21:43,136 um, big hard cock when I put my hand around it 508 00:21:43,137 --> 00:21:45,598 and it gets so hard, and then I shove it 509 00:21:45,599 --> 00:21:48,947 into my slimy vagina like a... like one of the Stalley pickles. 510 00:21:50,451 --> 00:21:53,027 What? It's not funny. 511 00:21:53,034 --> 00:21:55,120 Sorry, it was kind of funny. 512 00:21:55,155 --> 00:21:58,470 Shoshanna, I like you, okay? 513 00:21:58,471 --> 00:22:00,736 And I also like the thought of your hand on my cock, 514 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:04,867 but not when half of the cast of "The Good Wife" is at the bar. 515 00:22:04,868 --> 00:22:06,311 What? Oh, my God. 516 00:22:06,312 --> 00:22:07,561 - Oh, my God. - You see 'em? 517 00:22:07,562 --> 00:22:09,398 - Oh, my God. - I know. 518 00:22:09,399 --> 00:22:11,093 - That's Josh Charles. - I know. 519 00:22:11,094 --> 00:22:13,093 - He died. - I know, he's alive. 520 00:22:13,094 --> 00:22:14,062 Oh, my God. 521 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,719 You guys don't know how lucky you have it. 522 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,157 I mean, your Hannah's a creative, what all children should be. 523 00:22:22,164 --> 00:22:24,149 - Soraya is so... - What? 524 00:22:24,184 --> 00:22:25,994 Look, I don't want to be a bitch. 525 00:22:25,995 --> 00:22:27,982 She's my daughter, I love her, 526 00:22:27,983 --> 00:22:29,456 but she's boring. 527 00:22:29,457 --> 00:22:31,556 Only you would be bored by a daughter 528 00:22:31,557 --> 00:22:33,462 who's an infant cardiac surgeon, 529 00:22:33,463 --> 00:22:34,900 - for Christ's sake. - What could I do? 530 00:22:34,901 --> 00:22:37,325 - Lana smoked meth. - Oh, Gregg. 531 00:22:37,326 --> 00:22:39,531 Well, she did. We found out she was smoking meth, 532 00:22:39,583 --> 00:22:41,512 so it could always be worse. 533 00:22:41,513 --> 00:22:42,838 How the hell could it be worse than that? 534 00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:45,243 She's a creative. She's a professional dancer. 535 00:22:45,244 --> 00:22:46,736 Oh, well, that's... it's fine, then, yeah. 536 00:22:46,737 --> 00:22:49,363 Well, uh... 537 00:22:49,364 --> 00:22:50,857 I just want to... 538 00:22:50,858 --> 00:22:52,612 - I just want to make a toast. - Oh! 539 00:22:52,613 --> 00:22:54,250 Uh-oh, should I get out the sleeping bags? 540 00:22:54,251 --> 00:22:55,525 This gonna be an all-nighter? 541 00:22:55,526 --> 00:22:57,277 No, I promise to make it short. 542 00:22:57,278 --> 00:22:59,384 - I just want to say that... - Good. 543 00:22:59,436 --> 00:23:01,402 ...tonight I'm so proud of my wife. 544 00:23:01,403 --> 00:23:03,921 - Aw. - I am, my life partner. 545 00:23:05,392 --> 00:23:06,808 My closest friend. 546 00:23:08,562 --> 00:23:11,479 You're everything to me. 547 00:23:11,532 --> 00:23:13,398 And these years have been a gift. 548 00:23:17,371 --> 00:23:19,521 And this honor is well-deserved. 549 00:23:19,527 --> 00:23:20,872 Beyond that, it's inevitable. 550 00:23:20,908 --> 00:23:25,827 And it's everything that-that you... th-that we-we wanted. 551 00:23:25,879 --> 00:23:28,663 What? 552 00:23:28,664 --> 00:23:31,552 What I'm feeling is something akin to pride. 553 00:23:31,553 --> 00:23:33,218 Excuse me. 554 00:23:33,253 --> 00:23:37,318 I cannot stand to listen to this bullshit for one more second. 555 00:23:37,319 --> 00:23:38,724 - Bullshit? - Just not now, Tad. 556 00:23:38,725 --> 00:23:40,149 - Loreen. - Not now. 557 00:23:40,150 --> 00:23:42,644 Come on. 558 00:23:46,176 --> 00:23:48,433 Listen, she's-she's had a very big night. 559 00:23:48,485 --> 00:23:50,670 I really think we should just-just enjoy ourselves, 560 00:23:50,671 --> 00:23:52,245 just-just eat, just finish dinner. 561 00:23:52,246 --> 00:23:53,345 - Yeah. Yeah. - Let's just eat, okay? 562 00:23:53,346 --> 00:23:56,191 - Good idea. - Yeah, thanks, Av. 563 00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:02,430 Quick! 564 00:24:02,431 --> 00:24:04,264 - Jesus, Avi. - No, super quiet. Just be quiet. 565 00:24:04,265 --> 00:24:07,208 What? What? 566 00:24:07,209 --> 00:24:08,870 Oh, God. 567 00:24:09,957 --> 00:24:12,668 Are you insane? Stop it. 568 00:24:12,669 --> 00:24:14,381 You didn't stop it up at the lake last summer. 569 00:24:14,382 --> 00:24:16,607 That was a mistake. Just please stop. 570 00:24:16,608 --> 00:24:19,044 Listen, I know how things are. I know you're having problems. 571 00:24:19,045 --> 00:24:21,582 - I know it, he told me. - He told you? 572 00:24:21,583 --> 00:24:23,218 Listen to me. I love you. 573 00:24:23,270 --> 00:24:25,782 I love you, and I've got to tell you now 574 00:24:25,783 --> 00:24:27,469 on the eve of your tenure. I love you. 575 00:24:27,470 --> 00:24:29,656 My feelings for you are getting stronger every single day. 576 00:24:29,657 --> 00:24:33,144 This is insane. You have completely lost it. Just let go of me. 577 00:24:33,196 --> 00:24:35,779 Listen to me, I see you. I see the pain that you're in. 578 00:24:35,780 --> 00:24:37,776 It's coming off you like a stink. 579 00:24:37,777 --> 00:24:40,550 You have no idea. Just leave me alone. 580 00:24:40,551 --> 00:24:45,769 Jesus, what bad fucking timing. 581 00:24:45,776 --> 00:24:47,550 All right, sorry. 582 00:24:47,551 --> 00:24:49,244 You needn't mock me. 583 00:24:49,296 --> 00:24:52,001 I'm not mocking you. I'm not mock... 584 00:24:57,388 --> 00:25:00,171 Just take a shower or something. 585 00:25:12,102 --> 00:25:13,318 Hey. 586 00:25:13,353 --> 00:25:15,403 - Hi. - Hey. 587 00:25:16,690 --> 00:25:19,357 I'm really sorry, you know? 588 00:25:19,409 --> 00:25:20,942 Okay. 589 00:25:20,944 --> 00:25:23,778 I was so selfish and, like... 590 00:25:25,615 --> 00:25:29,417 After I left, I was just taking a walk and... 591 00:25:29,453 --> 00:25:31,527 you know, I started thinking about my old man 592 00:25:31,528 --> 00:25:34,289 and I feel really ashamed, Marn. 593 00:25:34,291 --> 00:25:36,541 Good. 594 00:25:36,593 --> 00:25:39,794 Hey, Marn, can you stop typing for a sec, please? 595 00:25:41,631 --> 00:25:43,548 Do you mind if I sit down? 596 00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:49,471 Look, Marn... 597 00:25:49,523 --> 00:25:51,773 No, listen... 598 00:25:51,808 --> 00:25:54,776 I am not a materialistic person at all. 599 00:25:54,811 --> 00:25:57,812 This is what tore my parents' marriage apart. 600 00:25:57,814 --> 00:26:00,111 This is a real fucking thing for me. 601 00:26:00,117 --> 00:26:02,472 Money destroys couples. 602 00:26:02,473 --> 00:26:04,223 - I couldn't agree... - It destroys trust 603 00:26:04,224 --> 00:26:06,103 when one person in a couple 604 00:26:06,104 --> 00:26:08,359 is misallocating funds and is misusing the 605 00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:08,908 - money - Marnie, 606 00:26:08,909 --> 00:26:11,326 please, baby, shut up for a sec. There's something I need to tell you. 607 00:26:11,378 --> 00:26:12,883 What the fuck is your problem? 608 00:26:12,884 --> 00:26:14,477 Can you just... I gotta say some... 609 00:26:14,484 --> 00:26:15,934 I gotta say something here. 610 00:26:15,935 --> 00:26:16,881 - Okay. - Can I talk? 611 00:26:16,967 --> 00:26:19,501 Yes, talk. Jesus Christ. 612 00:26:19,553 --> 00:26:22,414 Today was the very last day of my life 613 00:26:22,415 --> 00:26:24,945 that I ever want to make a decision without you. 614 00:26:24,946 --> 00:26:26,341 Good. 615 00:26:32,682 --> 00:26:34,099 What's happening? 616 00:26:35,402 --> 00:26:39,201 I'd always swore that I would never get married 617 00:26:39,202 --> 00:26:42,432 until my gay cousin Destin could, 618 00:26:42,433 --> 00:26:44,359 but I can't wait any longer, baby. 619 00:26:44,411 --> 00:26:47,996 Marnie Michaels, will you marry me? 620 00:26:56,706 --> 00:26:58,206 I love you. 621 00:26:58,258 --> 00:26:59,874 Des! 622 00:26:59,876 --> 00:27:03,094 I'm confused. I'm so confused. 623 00:27:03,130 --> 00:27:04,462 So maybe you're wrong. 624 00:27:04,548 --> 00:27:06,014 I don't think I'm wrong. 625 00:27:06,049 --> 00:27:07,098 How do you know? 626 00:27:07,134 --> 00:27:08,716 Because this is the hardest thing 627 00:27:08,718 --> 00:27:11,052 I've ever done in my life, and I'm doing it. 628 00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:13,978 And truthfully I watch a lot of gay pornography. 629 00:27:13,979 --> 00:27:15,360 Oh, God. 630 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:18,943 So... 631 00:27:18,947 --> 00:27:21,684 you want to suck a dick now? 632 00:27:21,685 --> 00:27:22,860 That's what you want to do? 633 00:27:22,866 --> 00:27:23,922 You don't have to be vulgar. 634 00:27:23,929 --> 00:27:25,415 No, I just want to know if you mean it. 635 00:27:25,416 --> 00:27:28,108 You want a dick in your mouth? 636 00:27:28,109 --> 00:27:30,510 - Loreen... - You want to suck someone else's dick? 637 00:27:30,511 --> 00:27:32,244 - Okay. - Or do you wanna 638 00:27:32,248 --> 00:27:34,110 put it in somebody's ass... 639 00:27:34,111 --> 00:27:35,076 - All right. - ...like in a... 640 00:27:37,831 --> 00:27:39,712 It's probably Avi. 641 00:27:40,912 --> 00:27:42,687 He's in love with me. 642 00:27:46,756 --> 00:27:49,742 Oh, no, it's Hannah. Hannah, our daughter. 643 00:27:49,743 --> 00:27:51,976 I'm not telling her. You have to tell her. 644 00:27:52,012 --> 00:27:53,823 I'm not ruining her childhood. 645 00:27:53,824 --> 00:27:56,273 I'm not telling her her whole life has been a lie. 646 00:27:56,274 --> 00:27:57,848 All right, I'll tell her. I will. 647 00:27:57,849 --> 00:27:58,900 Hi. 648 00:27:58,935 --> 00:28:01,213 - Hi, Mommy. - Tell her. 649 00:28:01,214 --> 00:28:02,695 Not now, not on the telephone. 650 00:28:02,696 --> 00:28:03,738 - Just tell her. - No. 651 00:28:03,773 --> 00:28:06,608 Tell me what? Wait, Mom, I need to ask you something. 652 00:28:06,610 --> 00:28:10,200 Do you think I'm a dramatic person? 653 00:28:10,201 --> 00:28:11,251 'Cause this guy that I like, 654 00:28:11,252 --> 00:28:12,639 or like don't even like... 655 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,501 I went on one half date with him and he claims to like me... 656 00:28:15,502 --> 00:28:17,694 - Sweetie. - ...says I am too dramatic. 657 00:28:17,695 --> 00:28:21,064 I'm not dramatic. I'm a person who's not gonna sugarcoat things. 658 00:28:21,070 --> 00:28:22,538 - Sweets. - I'm a person 659 00:28:22,564 --> 00:28:24,607 who really gets a lot 660 00:28:24,620 --> 00:28:25,750 - out of life. - Hey, Hannah? 661 00:28:25,751 --> 00:28:28,581 Okay, and I'm also a person who sees the darkness in life. 662 00:28:28,582 --> 00:28:30,288 I'm not a fucking character on "The Hills." 663 00:28:30,294 --> 00:28:32,080 I'm responding to real issues. 664 00:28:32,081 --> 00:28:33,961 I'm responding to the financial crisis. 665 00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:37,256 I'm responding to the fact that so many people are homeless. 666 00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:38,606 - Hey... hey, Hannah? - If that makes me dramatic, 667 00:28:38,642 --> 00:28:40,475 if that makes me Courtney Love, 668 00:28:40,527 --> 00:28:42,881 you know, then I can handle that, 669 00:28:42,882 --> 00:28:44,815 but the thing is, it's like there's no way... 670 00:28:44,816 --> 00:28:47,899 Hannah! Your father is gay. 671 00:28:54,535 --> 00:28:55,504 Uh... 672 00:28:55,523 --> 00:28:57,279 Sync & corrections by PetaG - www.MY-SUBS.com - 673 00:28:57,288 --> 00:29:01,018 ♪ Ketty kept the list of times ♪ 674 00:29:01,019 --> 00:29:04,690 ♪ Now that she had really gone and done it ♪ 675 00:29:04,691 --> 00:29:08,002 ♪ So we swarmed like flies ♪ 676 00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:12,450 ♪ Pretending that we were terrified, too ♪ 677 00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:16,010 ♪ We snuck out that night ♪ 678 00:29:16,046 --> 00:29:19,993 ♪ Rolled the Chrysler down the driveway ♪ 679 00:29:20,006 --> 00:29:23,751 ♪ But once we were inside ♪ 680 00:29:23,787 --> 00:29:28,590 ♪ Couldn't figure out where we were off to ♪ 681 00:29:28,625 --> 00:29:31,526 ♪ That was before ♪ 682 00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:36,731 ♪ We had made ♪ 683 00:29:36,766 --> 00:29:43,037 ♪ Any terrible mistakes ♪ 684 00:29:48,812 --> 00:29:52,554 ♪ That's just teenage talk ♪ 685 00:29:52,567 --> 00:29:56,609 ♪ I don't think the past is better, better ♪ 686 00:29:56,610 --> 00:29:59,854 ♪ Just 'cause it's cased in glass ♪ 687 00:29:59,889 --> 00:30:03,992 ♪ Protecting us from our now and later ♪ 688 00:30:04,027 --> 00:30:07,662 ♪ How do you see me now ♪ 689 00:30:07,697 --> 00:30:11,827 ♪ Now that I'm a little bit older, older? ♪ 690 00:30:11,828 --> 00:30:15,269 ♪ Never mind the albatross ♪ 691 00:30:15,305 --> 00:30:19,007 ♪ Smoldering on my shoulder, shoulder ♪ 692 00:30:19,042 --> 00:30:24,012 ♪ Shoulder, shoulder. ♪ 52570

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