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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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You're the new sub, right?
2
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I am, it's my first week...
3
00:00:03,619 --> 00:00:05,661
I was just actually gonna ask
if you wanted to maybe check out
4
00:00:05,661 --> 00:00:08,544
this art show that I'm sure is
going to be absolutely terrible...
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00:00:08,636 --> 00:00:10,304
- Hi, I'm Ace.
- Oh, Hannah.
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- Mimi's former partner.
- Oh God, I'm Hannah,
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Adam's former partner.
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She's a bad, bad girl...
who knows what works...
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We live together.
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00:00:17,210 --> 00:00:18,935
Enjoy it while it lasts,
'cause I'm gonna get her back.
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00:00:18,954 --> 00:00:19,816
Balled her!
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00:00:19,835 --> 00:00:22,447
- He's with you now...
- Well if you actually did
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00:00:22,448 --> 00:00:24,965
want him back, I might
say you can have him.
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00:00:24,965 --> 00:00:27,833
This is the whole reason
why I set you up with her...
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00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,431
so that I could get Ace.
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00:00:29,453 --> 00:00:32,546
I just wanted to tell you
that I really like Mimi-Rose...
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Congratulations... and I just
wanted to say that I get it.
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00:00:40,111 --> 00:00:44,711
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
19
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- Wow.
- Yeah?
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- I feel really good, like we cracked it.
- I guess so.
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00:00:51,982 --> 00:00:53,634
Oh, I was feeling so angry at you,
22
00:00:53,635 --> 00:00:56,057
but I feel like you're really
supporting my tenure now.
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I am, I do, of course. I'm so proud of you.
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Of us, even.
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Get a load of those two,
the dread on their faces?
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- Jesus.
- I know.
27
00:01:04,024 --> 00:01:06,628
Uh, I feel there's something
I want to share with you.
28
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- You do?
- Yeah, I do. Uh...
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I've been thinking lately
that I'm... I'm-I'm gay.
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What?
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Not lately, actually. For a while.
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00:01:15,550 --> 00:01:18,242
Shut up, Tad.
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- What is this, one of your stupid pranks?
- No, it's not.
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Loreen, you have to listen
to me. I think I'm gay.
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- You think?
- No, I am.
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I don't think, I am.
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- No, you're not.
- Why are you saying that?
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Oh, please, you're not gay.
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I think it would've come up.
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It is coming up right now. I'm serious.
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This is ridiculous. We were
in therapy two seconds ago.
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- You weren't gay in there.
- Yes, I was.
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I just didn't want to share it with her.
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That is who you're supposed
to be sharing it with,
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our therapist who we pay.
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Yeah, I just couldn't
do it. I don't trust her.
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- I call bullshit on this.
- Excuse me?
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00:01:49,784 --> 00:01:52,535
You are unhappy, Tad. You're not gay.
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You're just making this up because
you're a little bit chickenshit.
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I'm not making this up. I really
don't think I'm making this up.
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00:01:57,933 --> 00:02:01,258
You cannot stand the fact that I
got tenure before you did, can you?
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00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:03,133
That's what this is about.
At the end of the day,
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00:02:03,145 --> 00:02:05,923
every single fucking thing comes
down to misogyny, doesn't it?
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00:02:05,936 --> 00:02:07,431
Can you hear yourself right now?
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This is a real display, is what this is.
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00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:13,085
You wait till your hand is on the
doorknob of our therapist's office
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00:02:13,086 --> 00:02:14,655
to tell me some lie about being gay?
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Just man up, say you don't want to fuck me!
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You think that's what this is?
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That I want to be saying this?
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00:02:19,364 --> 00:02:21,326
I think you want to be saying
it because you're saying it.
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You're saying it to me
right now, right fucking now.
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All right, in hindsight, this actually
seems like some pretty terrible timing.
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I wasn't planning it.
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I wanted to wait until
after your tenure party.
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- I knew it was about that.
- Oh, fuck!
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00:02:33,378 --> 00:02:36,364
I need to tell you this.
I have to tell you this,
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if for one second you can try to fathom
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that this is not all about you.
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It's not not about me, Tad.
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It's not not.
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00:03:00,355 --> 00:03:03,088
Okay, guys, Miss Pontbriand's
gonna be back on Monday
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and, unlike me, she's not easy.
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She's not gonna tolerate
a half-finished haiku.
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They're very short, there are very
few syllables, so just go for it.
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What else do you have
to do? You're children.
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Have a great weekend.
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00:03:16,671 --> 00:03:19,791
- 'Sup, Cleo?
- I don't even know.
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Is he being weird again?
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He's being so weird.
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He basically hasn't
talked to me since Tuesday
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when he Facebook messaged me.
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00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:28,657
Today he followed Tessa
to the 13th-floor gym
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00:03:28,658 --> 00:03:30,532
and asked her if she was into porn.
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Ew. Is she into porn?
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I don't know. I don't even
know how he would know.
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Listen, I don't like him for you.
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I don't like anyone here for you.
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I've checked out every guy in this school
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and none of them are cute.
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00:03:42,564 --> 00:03:44,695
I don't even like him, I'm just bored.
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00:03:44,696 --> 00:03:46,370
I like Shia LaBeouf, though.
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Well, Shia LaBeouf's famous,
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00:03:48,509 --> 00:03:51,954
so it's not like you're gonna
make that connection... So...
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He lives in my building.
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He is hot.
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And I like the kind of,
like, light criminal activity.
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00:03:59,219 --> 00:04:00,747
I think I can help him.
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00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:04,024
I don't even like Mark. He has HPV.
100
00:04:04,025 --> 00:04:04,986
He has HPV?
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00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:06,811
I mean, the disease itself
isn't that big a deal.
102
00:04:06,812 --> 00:04:09,081
It's just kinda crazy
he has it when he's 14.
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He had sex with a girl in Poland.
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Like, a Polish girl?
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Like, a girl from Long Island
who was on his team tour.
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Oh, my God, where did they
do it? Like, the hotel?
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Auschwitz.
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They had sex at Auschwitz?
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- Hi.
- Hello.
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Hi, Cleo.
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Hi, Mr. Parker. Cool T-shirt.
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Oh, thanks. Yeah, my mom got it for me.
_
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Cool.
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- Okay.
- Okay.
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Okay, you just made that so awkward.
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- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
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You want to get something pierced?
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I have a class at 2:00 pm, so...
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I do, too.
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Okay.
121
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Like, upper ear cartilage
or like something else?
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Mr. Parker left the date because he
was embarrassed. He felt belittled.
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Yeah, but then he hasn't mentioned it
at all since or followed up remotely.
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00:05:05,595 --> 00:05:08,075
Yeah, because he thinks you
don't like him, so he's being coy.
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00:05:08,076 --> 00:05:11,174
But I do like him. I think.
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I don't know yet.
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It seems to me you've made poor
relationship choices in the past.
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00:05:15,943 --> 00:05:17,740
Your ex seems really damaged.
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00:05:17,792 --> 00:05:19,242
He is really damaged.
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00:05:19,294 --> 00:05:22,090
Oh, my God, Cleo, you are so wise.
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♪ I know you're
never gonna wake up... ♪
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It's so weird because this song
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is about everything we
were just talking about.
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♪ I know I shouldn't
ever call back ♪
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- ♪ Or let you come back ♪
- ♪ Or let you, ooh, ooh ♪
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♪ Every time you touch me
and say you love me... ♪
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Work it, girls! I like what I'm seeing!
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♪ I shouldn't want it... ♪
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Please! We're children!
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♪ I got one less,
one, baby, yeah... ♪
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- Come on.
- Go, run!
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Come here, sexy love.
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- Hi.
- Hi.
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00:05:54,112 --> 00:05:55,495
What's happening?
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Uh, are you ready to be stoked right now?
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Uh, yeah. What's up?
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What's up is the contents
of this fucking amazing box
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00:06:06,374 --> 00:06:10,543
that are about to change our lives forever.
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- I mean...
- What?
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00:06:20,638 --> 00:06:22,822
I just... I have no idea what these are.
151
00:06:22,823 --> 00:06:24,710
Okay, let me tell you.
I'll walk you through this.
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- What these are...
- Mm-hmm.
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...are the tightest
fucking German guitar pedals
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ever made in history, okay?
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These pedals... baby, these...
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- These pedals are so sick.
- Yeah?
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00:06:35,439 --> 00:06:38,457
These pedals single-handedly
created the distortion
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00:06:38,463 --> 00:06:41,094
that became the My
Bloody Valentine sound.
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00:06:41,106 --> 00:06:41,724
Uh-huh.
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00:06:41,725 --> 00:06:43,949
They're gonna do the same
thing for us, I promise you.
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00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,219
I didn't know we were
looking for a new sound.
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00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:48,306
Well, maybe not right
now, but down the road.
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00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:50,174
Thinking second album, third album.
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00:06:51,719 --> 00:06:53,744
- You're so excited.
- Oh, my God.
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00:06:53,757 --> 00:06:55,702
Oh, my God, it was such a sick deal, too.
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00:06:55,703 --> 00:06:56,914
I couldn't pass it up.
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00:06:56,915 --> 00:06:59,809
- How much were they?
- $2,000.
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Are you fucking serious?
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00:07:01,346 --> 00:07:02,678
No way.
170
00:07:02,730 --> 00:07:05,196
- I'm like, ah!
- Wait, Desi.
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00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:06,849
That is our entire advance.
172
00:07:06,901 --> 00:07:08,317
$2,000?
173
00:07:08,353 --> 00:07:11,658
Yeah. I mean, the guy
had no idea what he had.
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00:07:11,659 --> 00:07:14,215
Desi, there's nothing on
this entire fucking planet
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00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:16,134
that's worth
our whole advance.
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00:07:16,146 --> 00:07:20,643
Whoa, I'm, like, so super
confused right now, babe.
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00:07:20,644 --> 00:07:21,831
I thought you'd be psyched.
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00:07:21,866 --> 00:07:23,332
No, no. Why?
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00:07:23,368 --> 00:07:25,368
Why on Earth would I be excited about this?
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00:07:25,420 --> 00:07:27,119
Marn, this is our art,
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00:07:27,171 --> 00:07:28,588
right? This is what we do.
182
00:07:28,623 --> 00:07:31,290
This box makes our art stronger, hon.
183
00:07:31,342 --> 00:07:33,596
No, those have to be returned now.
184
00:07:33,597 --> 00:07:35,697
Okay, even if I wanted to return them,
185
00:07:35,698 --> 00:07:37,129
which I powerfully do not,
186
00:07:37,181 --> 00:07:38,954
that's not happening, okay, babe?
187
00:07:38,955 --> 00:07:40,636
The guy's halfway to Toronto by now.
188
00:07:40,637 --> 00:07:42,061
- Oh, my God.
- They're not going back, hon.
189
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,363
I cannot believe this. $2,000, Desi.
190
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,813
Do you know what else that could've bought?
191
00:07:45,814 --> 00:07:47,907
$2,000 on that?
192
00:07:47,908 --> 00:07:51,727
I cannot believe you're being
such a fuckin' bitch about this.
193
00:07:51,779 --> 00:07:53,225
- Fuck you, Desi.
- I'm walking.
194
00:07:53,226 --> 00:07:54,280
- Fuck you!
- All right!
195
00:07:54,315 --> 00:07:56,863
Go think about this decision you made.
196
00:07:57,819 --> 00:07:59,986
Thanks for ruining my day!
197
00:08:00,038 --> 00:08:02,488
Rain cloud.
198
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:03,956
Fuck.
199
00:08:05,209 --> 00:08:07,503
The thing is, if you really like him,
200
00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:10,697
you have to make it clear that
you're young, fun, and flaky.
201
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:14,122
Okay, Jessa, I stopped taking
advice from you quite some time ago.
202
00:08:14,123 --> 00:08:16,359
Yeah, and notice
that since then
203
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,778
you have been unemployed
with a sandy, broken vagina.
204
00:08:19,779 --> 00:08:21,744
I'm going through the same
thing right now, Shoshanna,
205
00:08:21,745 --> 00:08:23,207
with regards to Ace.
206
00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:25,290
I've shown up at two
of his commercial shoots,
207
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:27,443
and one time I was dressed
as a little match girl,
208
00:08:27,444 --> 00:08:29,681
and since then I haven't
picked up one of his calls.
209
00:08:29,682 --> 00:08:33,006
Ace tries to tell me that, like,
he's not in a sexual place right now,
210
00:08:33,007 --> 00:08:34,912
but one more day of radio silence
211
00:08:34,913 --> 00:08:37,823
and he will be knocking
at our front door, naked.
212
00:08:40,611 --> 00:08:43,127
I mean, this is kind of your gift.
213
00:08:43,128 --> 00:08:45,362
It's kind of my gift?
214
00:08:45,363 --> 00:08:48,577
Shoshanna, I have four fucking
suicide attempts under my belt,
215
00:08:48,578 --> 00:08:50,536
men who just couldn't
live without me.
216
00:08:50,621 --> 00:08:52,121
Ace is different. He's, like,
217
00:08:52,173 --> 00:08:54,590
so self-possessed and random.
218
00:08:54,625 --> 00:08:56,324
Scott is so amazing, too.
219
00:08:56,325 --> 00:08:58,174
I mean, he's smart,
he's handsome.
220
00:08:58,175 --> 00:09:00,527
How the fuck am I supposed
to make an impression on that?
221
00:09:01,196 --> 00:09:03,466
You have to, you know,
employ an element of surprise.
222
00:09:03,468 --> 00:09:06,132
Ooh, like jump out from
behind something and scare him?
223
00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:10,272
No, like show him an act of
love when he least expects it.
224
00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:18,333
What about a frenulum piercing?
225
00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:20,246
- What?
- Your frenulum.
226
00:09:20,247 --> 00:09:22,122
It's like that webbing under your tongue.
227
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,134
And there's no way your
mom would ever see that.
228
00:09:24,135 --> 00:09:26,238
- That's gross.
- I think it's cool.
229
00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:29,416
I think it's, like, sexual,
but not too on the nose.
230
00:09:29,417 --> 00:09:30,584
And it could be like a friendship thing.
231
00:09:30,585 --> 00:09:33,295
- We'll both do it.
- Okay.
232
00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:35,164
Excuse me?
233
00:09:35,216 --> 00:09:39,272
Could we get two best
"friendulum" piercings, please?
234
00:09:40,888 --> 00:09:42,171
Who wants to go first?
235
00:09:42,223 --> 00:09:43,672
She does.
236
00:09:49,347 --> 00:09:50,990
Which earring?
237
00:09:51,003 --> 00:09:53,682
I like the barbell. That's kind of badass.
238
00:09:53,684 --> 00:09:55,267
Gold ring.
239
00:09:55,319 --> 00:09:58,320
Yeah, I think the gold
ring's by far the way to go.
240
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:03,409
- Can you hold this?
- Yeah, of course.
241
00:10:03,444 --> 00:10:05,745
Oh, look, he is basically ready.
242
00:10:07,615 --> 00:10:09,782
So you just plop down there.
243
00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:12,752
Just breathe. It's really...
244
00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:16,038
it's gonna be a chill process, for sure.
245
00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:19,041
So, just so you know, he's
just getting the clamp ready.
246
00:10:19,043 --> 00:10:21,882
He's putting a little bit
of a solution on the needle,
247
00:10:21,883 --> 00:10:23,849
which seems like a good sign.
248
00:10:23,868 --> 00:10:26,215
Now he's just gonna take the needle...
249
00:10:27,552 --> 00:10:29,268
Putting the clamp.
250
00:10:29,303 --> 00:10:32,388
Are... are you doing it?
251
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:34,401
It's going right in...
252
00:10:34,402 --> 00:10:35,858
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
253
00:10:35,893 --> 00:10:37,059
- Okay.
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
254
00:10:37,061 --> 00:10:38,561
Cleo, you okay?
255
00:10:38,613 --> 00:10:40,790
- Ah!
- Ow! Ow!
256
00:10:40,791 --> 00:10:42,471
I can't do this. She's moving too much.
257
00:10:42,472 --> 00:10:43,526
Okay, you're moving too much,
258
00:10:43,552 --> 00:10:45,177
- so just pull this hand down.
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
259
00:10:45,203 --> 00:10:46,970
It's halfway through.
You need to calm down.
260
00:10:46,971 --> 00:10:48,613
- Just shove it through.
- Stop, stop...
261
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:49,732
Just push it through.
262
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,201
Just push it through. It's okay.
263
00:10:51,202 --> 00:10:52,658
- Ow! Ow!
- It's okay.
264
00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:54,971
It's okay, just push
it right through.
265
00:10:55,963 --> 00:10:58,350
- Don't... Cleo...
- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
266
00:10:58,351 --> 00:11:00,631
- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Just keep it down.
267
00:11:00,632 --> 00:11:04,162
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
268
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,137
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
269
00:11:05,173 --> 00:11:07,923
It's almost done. It's almost done, okay?
270
00:11:07,975 --> 00:11:09,592
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
271
00:11:09,644 --> 00:11:12,478
It's through, Cleo.
272
00:11:12,513 --> 00:11:14,847
Cleo, it looks so good.
273
00:11:16,871 --> 00:11:18,639
Are you gonna go now?
274
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:19,985
Fuck, no.
275
00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:21,745
You said you were gonna go.
276
00:11:21,746 --> 00:11:24,021
Listen, let's get friendship necklaces,
277
00:11:24,022 --> 00:11:25,303
friendship bracelets.
278
00:11:25,304 --> 00:11:26,740
But that was fucking heinous to watch.
279
00:11:26,741 --> 00:11:28,341
You're such a pussy.
280
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,834
Listen, as an older
woman and as your friend,
281
00:11:30,835 --> 00:11:32,502
a great lesson I can teach you
282
00:11:32,503 --> 00:11:34,416
is that it's okay to change your mind.
283
00:11:34,452 --> 00:11:35,918
Show me.
284
00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:39,538
So cool!
285
00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:41,403
Hi, guys. Do you live in the
district and have a moment
286
00:11:41,404 --> 00:11:41,945
No.
287
00:11:41,971 --> 00:11:42,953
to talk about the upcoming election?
288
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,960
I don't know, I think we should go.
289
00:11:44,962 --> 00:11:48,097
Okay, Ray, you need to step up your game.
290
00:11:48,132 --> 00:11:51,133
- Step up my game?
- Yeah.
291
00:11:51,135 --> 00:11:53,269
Hi, do you live in the district and...
292
00:11:54,555 --> 00:11:56,400
Hi, excuse me. This is Ray Ploshansky.
293
00:11:56,401 --> 00:11:58,600
He's running for community
board chairperson.
294
00:11:58,601 --> 00:12:01,856
He's in favor of no taxes and also
free bagels every morning before 11:00.
295
00:12:01,857 --> 00:12:03,378
All right, I'm in.
296
00:12:03,379 --> 00:12:06,482
Wonderful, thank you.
297
00:12:06,534 --> 00:12:09,297
- See you later.
- I'll see you later.
298
00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:12,526
- Oh, not if I see you first.
- Not if I see you first.
299
00:12:12,527 --> 00:12:14,001
All right, Tarzan, let's wrap it up.
300
00:12:14,002 --> 00:12:15,708
Let's get you down the block. Thank you.
301
00:12:17,211 --> 00:12:20,161
- What the fuck was that?
- I'm campaigning.
302
00:12:20,162 --> 00:12:22,880
Shosh, you can't just
lie to people. You know?
303
00:12:22,893 --> 00:12:25,084
Honesty is the one thing separating
me from other politicians.
304
00:12:25,136 --> 00:12:27,579
Ray, no politician is a fan of honesty.
305
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,638
You have to focus on results.
306
00:12:29,674 --> 00:12:32,016
The fact that you're not already running
307
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:34,116
a Fortune 500 company is baffling to me.
308
00:12:34,117 --> 00:12:36,972
Okay, please, please, can we not
talk about my stifled job situation?
309
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,514
My brain really needs a repose.
310
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:41,267
Sure.
311
00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:44,987
- So how's the love life?
- Seriously, Ray?
312
00:12:45,022 --> 00:12:47,656
Shosh, I think we should be able to
talk about this sort of stuff by now.
313
00:12:47,692 --> 00:12:50,743
- Don't you think?
- Okay.
314
00:12:50,778 --> 00:12:53,862
Well, then, since you asked,
I happen to have a date
315
00:12:53,864 --> 00:12:56,335
with a man who is very
much intriguing to me.
316
00:12:56,336 --> 00:12:57,199
Is that weird for you?
317
00:12:57,201 --> 00:13:01,036
No. No, I think that's great.
318
00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:03,956
I think you deserve someone
who's very much intriguing.
319
00:13:05,209 --> 00:13:08,501
- How about you?
- Me? I got nothin'.
320
00:13:08,502 --> 00:13:11,180
Crickets and tumbleweeds,
that's what I got.
321
00:13:11,215 --> 00:13:14,676
I went on, um, eHarmony the other day.
322
00:13:14,677 --> 00:13:16,807
Yeah, but I didn't even start
the process of actually...
323
00:13:16,808 --> 00:13:18,549
- Ray!
- Would you like a flyer?
324
00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:19,775
- Ray, that's wonderful.
- Yeah.
325
00:13:19,776 --> 00:13:22,568
My best friend Zeva met
her soul mate on eHarmony.
326
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,386
And he used to be a
professional baseball player,
327
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,455
so there's no stigma.
328
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,313
No, no, it's not that. It's not a...
329
00:13:27,365 --> 00:13:30,366
There's someone I know
I don't want to be with.
330
00:13:30,401 --> 00:13:31,817
Like, I know it.
331
00:13:31,869 --> 00:13:33,419
I know we're not the right fit, I get it.
332
00:13:33,420 --> 00:13:35,904
But despite that, there's, you know...
333
00:13:35,906 --> 00:13:37,811
it's one of those things where
you're waiting for your heart
334
00:13:37,812 --> 00:13:38,874
to catch up to your brain.
335
00:13:38,909 --> 00:13:42,828
Ray, you are going to
find somebody, I promise,
336
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,080
who is so much more right
for you than I ever was.
337
00:13:45,166 --> 00:13:47,584
Shosh, that's so sweet of you to say.
338
00:13:47,585 --> 00:13:51,503
I appreciate it, but I'm actually
not talking about you right now.
339
00:13:52,023 --> 00:13:53,756
Well, then who are...
340
00:13:55,514 --> 00:13:57,297
fucking Marnie?!
341
00:13:57,298 --> 00:13:59,929
Okay, you don't need to... volume.
342
00:13:59,930 --> 00:14:01,216
Where are you going?
343
00:14:01,217 --> 00:14:03,817
I'm campaigning over here. Excuse me, sir!
344
00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:05,934
- Okay, you don't...
- Ray Ploshansky!
345
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,623
You okay?
346
00:14:30,461 --> 00:14:32,511
I got two bottles of Riesling.
347
00:14:32,546 --> 00:14:35,439
Riesling's too sweet.
348
00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:38,528
No one likes it.
349
00:14:39,103 --> 00:14:42,471
- Should I get something else?
- Don't bother.
350
00:14:49,196 --> 00:14:51,447
Whoa, hey, slow it down, my brother.
351
00:14:56,037 --> 00:14:58,365
- Hey.
- Hey.
352
00:14:58,366 --> 00:15:00,372
- How's it goin'?
- Yeah, it's goin'.
353
00:15:00,408 --> 00:15:02,958
Just ol' National History Day.
354
00:15:02,993 --> 00:15:06,400
I just wanted to apologize
about our date the other night.
355
00:15:06,401 --> 00:15:08,625
That was not the way that I wanted to act.
356
00:15:08,626 --> 00:15:11,618
I kinda really messed that one up.
357
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,419
I kinda got away from myself and...
358
00:15:13,471 --> 00:15:17,589
before the shit hit the fan,
I was having an amazing time.
359
00:15:17,641 --> 00:15:21,143
Well, I appreciate that.
Thanks. Yeah, no worries.
360
00:15:21,178 --> 00:15:24,829
I've been trying to make some
kinda better choices in my life
361
00:15:24,830 --> 00:15:27,073
and, you know, new choices,
362
00:15:27,074 --> 00:15:29,485
and I think one of those choices
would be to hang out with you.
363
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,270
- And, you know, make up for the nonsense.
- Oh, yeah.
364
00:15:32,271 --> 00:15:34,690
Yeah.
365
00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:39,035
Uh, I can't do that.
366
00:15:40,197 --> 00:15:43,099
Okay, can you explain why you can't do it?
367
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:46,386
Is it, like, a scheduling issue? Or...
368
00:15:46,387 --> 00:15:49,088
Yeah, look, um,
369
00:15:49,123 --> 00:15:53,175
you're a very smart
and, uh, unusual person,
370
00:15:53,210 --> 00:15:55,852
and I like talking with you very much.
371
00:15:55,853 --> 00:15:57,513
- Ditto.
- Cool.
372
00:15:57,548 --> 00:16:01,597
But I'm just trying to, you know,
not be so attracted to drama.
373
00:16:01,603 --> 00:16:03,316
Uh, on the whole.
374
00:16:03,322 --> 00:16:06,555
To lead a calmer life, as
Mary J. Blige tells us to.
375
00:16:06,607 --> 00:16:10,088
My ex entirely drained my bank account...
376
00:16:10,089 --> 00:16:12,720
- I'm sorry.
-...and then... well, thank you...
377
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:15,757
finished it off by-by pouring
battery acid on my plants.
378
00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:17,083
Well, you wouldn't have
to worry about that with me
379
00:16:17,084 --> 00:16:18,817
'cause I don't even know
where you'd find battery acid.
380
00:16:18,869 --> 00:16:20,725
You, like, chop open a bunch of batteries?
381
00:16:20,726 --> 00:16:22,578
That would take hours, like
making pomegranate juice.
382
00:16:22,579 --> 00:16:25,121
Hannah, Hannah, I'm
trying to be gentle here.
383
00:16:25,122 --> 00:16:27,009
Fran, I'm not the person
that you think I am.
384
00:16:27,010 --> 00:16:29,677
I think you are exactly the
person that I think you are.
385
00:16:29,678 --> 00:16:31,702
I think you're not the person
that you think you are.
386
00:16:31,709 --> 00:16:33,358
I think that's where the confusion is.
387
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:36,084
- Uh-uh.
- Yuh-huh.
388
00:16:36,086 --> 00:16:39,471
Look, just hear me on this, okay, please?
389
00:16:39,507 --> 00:16:41,501
- You can walk away...
- Okay.
390
00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:42,925
- and I'm just gonna leave you with this.
- Okay.
391
00:16:42,927 --> 00:16:45,792
And percolate on it over the weekend
like your little coffee machine.
392
00:16:45,793 --> 00:16:47,012
Just...
393
00:16:47,064 --> 00:16:51,400
You're attracted to me,
you're intrigued by me,
394
00:16:51,435 --> 00:16:54,117
you think I'm a wild horse
and you want to tame me.
395
00:16:54,118 --> 00:16:57,073
I understand all of that. It's
the new frontier of misogyny.
396
00:16:57,074 --> 00:16:59,358
Take a woman who's in control of her life
397
00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:02,361
and then silence her.
398
00:17:02,413 --> 00:17:04,163
And I'm up for it.
399
00:17:10,337 --> 00:17:14,089
- 'Sup?
- Hey, Rider. Hey, Rainbow.
400
00:17:14,124 --> 00:17:19,154
Okay, she published all of
your emails on her Tumblr?
401
00:17:19,155 --> 00:17:21,930
Yeah. I'm telling you, she lost her mind.
402
00:17:21,931 --> 00:17:25,667
She decided that I was the embodiment
of the white male oppressor.
403
00:17:25,668 --> 00:17:28,442
- Yeah.
- And I was like, "Did I not just pay
404
00:17:28,443 --> 00:17:29,771
for your cat's dialysis?"
405
00:17:29,807 --> 00:17:31,231
Bitches be cray.
406
00:17:31,232 --> 00:17:33,809
Yes, thank you.
407
00:17:33,861 --> 00:17:37,909
Well, anyway, thank you so
much for joining me for a meal
408
00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:40,697
even though I know we
got off on a strange foot.
409
00:17:40,698 --> 00:17:42,367
No, it's... I'm a renegade.
410
00:17:42,403 --> 00:17:45,195
You know, things get crazy for me and,
like, you wouldn't be the first. So...
411
00:17:45,782 --> 00:17:47,426
Yeah, I'm also totally unemployed,
412
00:17:47,432 --> 00:17:49,181
so I can pretty much
be anywhere at any time.
413
00:17:49,182 --> 00:17:52,625
Well, you won't be unemployed for
long 'cause you're a real doer.
414
00:17:52,626 --> 00:17:54,796
That's totally what I thought,
415
00:17:54,832 --> 00:17:57,581
but this whole experience has
been, like, so disheartening.
416
00:17:57,582 --> 00:18:01,160
I was so sure that I was gonna be able
to show, like, all of my failure friends
417
00:18:01,161 --> 00:18:02,828
how easy it was to
have a viable job,
418
00:18:02,829 --> 00:18:05,340
but, no, I'm now a failure, too.
419
00:18:05,342 --> 00:18:09,094
Okay, we don't use those words...
420
00:18:09,146 --> 00:18:13,765
"failure," "pathetic," "loser," "lame."
421
00:18:13,817 --> 00:18:16,523
- Okay.
- Okay?
422
00:18:16,524 --> 00:18:17,853
Okay.
423
00:18:20,491 --> 00:18:21,911
What about "lamesauce"?
424
00:18:23,110 --> 00:18:24,967
Um, okay, yeah.
425
00:18:24,968 --> 00:18:26,493
"Lamesauce" is okay. I'll accept that.
426
00:18:26,494 --> 00:18:28,196
- Okay.
- That one's fine.
427
00:18:33,921 --> 00:18:35,203
Hi, Shanaz!
428
00:18:35,256 --> 00:18:37,285
Yay! Hello!
429
00:18:37,286 --> 00:18:39,292
Shanaz, can we get "Watchtower"?
430
00:18:39,293 --> 00:18:41,436
It's those annoying
Seventh-day Adventists again.
431
00:18:42,212 --> 00:18:44,279
So I guess it takes you getting tenure
432
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,816
to finally get you over here, huh?
433
00:18:45,817 --> 00:18:46,529
Well, you know what they say,
434
00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:48,267
there's no party like a tenure party.
435
00:18:48,271 --> 00:18:49,691
Who the hell says that?
436
00:18:49,692 --> 00:18:51,984
- It's, ah, Riesling. It's too sweet.
- Oh.
437
00:18:51,985 --> 00:18:53,466
- Thank you.
- It's not too sweet.
438
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,191
If the Germans like
it, how sweet can it be?
439
00:18:55,192 --> 00:18:56,841
That's wonderful of you. I'm so glad.
440
00:18:56,842 --> 00:18:58,310
We might not have enough to eat otherwise.
441
00:18:58,362 --> 00:19:00,159
Well, what can we do to help?
442
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:01,572
I know what would be extremely helpful.
443
00:19:01,578 --> 00:19:03,065
How about if you drank this drink,
444
00:19:03,117 --> 00:19:05,465
you walk with me a little
bit, allow me to brag,
445
00:19:05,466 --> 00:19:07,573
and then I'm gonna show you
the galleys of my new book.
446
00:19:07,574 --> 00:19:09,473
- How about that?
- That sounds lovely, delicious.
447
00:19:09,474 --> 00:19:10,705
- Here we go.
- Okay, cheers.
448
00:19:10,706 --> 00:19:12,337
- Girls, catch you in a minute.
- Have fun, boys.
449
00:19:12,349 --> 00:19:14,023
Good luck, Tad. You may
need the whole bottle.
450
00:19:14,024 --> 00:19:16,355
Oh, I invited Gregg and Thyme.
451
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,019
I know you hate them, but I had to do it.
452
00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:20,700
Oh, come on, they have
those Hello Kitty lunchboxes.
453
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,382
- They're nice.
- Hello Kitty?
454
00:19:23,383 --> 00:19:27,391
Okay, I know it's not your style
to be the center of attention,
455
00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:29,891
but you worked for this.
456
00:19:29,927 --> 00:19:31,734
This is about you now.
457
00:19:31,735 --> 00:19:33,261
I am so proud of you.
458
00:19:33,314 --> 00:19:37,370
Oh, and furthermore, fuck
that little classicist
459
00:19:37,371 --> 00:19:39,477
who thought she was gonna get your job.
460
00:19:39,484 --> 00:19:44,238
Fuck her right in her tiny little fuckface.
461
00:19:44,239 --> 00:19:47,745
It is good to know I
never have to move again.
462
00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:50,946
Is that it? You always
play everything down.
463
00:19:50,947 --> 00:19:52,809
This is your party.
464
00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:56,284
- Yay, your party!
- Whoo! Whoo!
465
00:19:56,286 --> 00:19:58,954
Avi, this is fantastic.
I'm so happy for you.
466
00:19:58,956 --> 00:20:00,622
You're very kind.
467
00:20:00,624 --> 00:20:02,007
So how's yours coming?
468
00:20:02,092 --> 00:20:05,748
Aw, you know, dribs and drabs.
469
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,796
It's sort of a weird time for me.
470
00:20:07,797 --> 00:20:09,077
Yeah, honestly,
471
00:20:09,078 --> 00:20:10,989
- I was sort of wondering about that.
- Yeah.
472
00:20:10,990 --> 00:20:12,676
Yeah, I hope you don't mind my asking,
473
00:20:12,677 --> 00:20:14,739
but are things okay with you and Loreen?
474
00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:15,771
Oh, yeah.
475
00:20:15,806 --> 00:20:18,607
I noticed things looked,
well, sort of strained.
476
00:20:18,642 --> 00:20:22,106
Well, it's a challenging
moment, to be sure.
477
00:20:22,107 --> 00:20:24,522
Strange, you know? I mean, I'm wondering,
478
00:20:24,523 --> 00:20:28,900
how late is too late to change?
479
00:20:28,952 --> 00:20:30,702
You ever get that feeling?
480
00:20:30,738 --> 00:20:33,987
Listen, this is something
everybody goes through.
481
00:20:33,988 --> 00:20:37,459
Trust me, Shanaz and I have
been through it many, many times.
482
00:20:37,494 --> 00:20:38,660
Really?
483
00:20:38,662 --> 00:20:41,377
I mean, like, he was 12 years older than...
484
00:20:41,378 --> 00:20:43,943
I mean, sorry, he is
12 years older than I am
485
00:20:43,968 --> 00:20:45,834
- 'cause he's not dead. So...
- Yeah.
486
00:20:45,886 --> 00:20:48,385
And I was like, "I wanna
to be inspired by someone.
487
00:20:48,386 --> 00:20:49,847
I wanna be excited by someone.
488
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:51,328
I wanna really respect somebody."
489
00:20:51,329 --> 00:20:53,583
And I do, I do respect him
because he's his own man,
490
00:20:53,584 --> 00:20:55,046
and that totally takes courage,
491
00:20:55,047 --> 00:20:56,909
but he's also, like, a little bitch.
492
00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:59,058
Yeah, I-I get it.
493
00:20:59,059 --> 00:21:02,152
My-my ex, I think she
just wanted to be the wife
494
00:21:02,153 --> 00:21:04,608
of a successful business guy, you know?
495
00:21:04,609 --> 00:21:07,684
And-and go to parties that
Ivanka Trump would be at
496
00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:11,041
and buy a $17,000 couch,
497
00:21:11,042 --> 00:21:13,466
and that just was never gonna work for me
498
00:21:13,467 --> 00:21:17,249
'cause I... I want to watch someone soar.
499
00:21:18,168 --> 00:21:20,619
Yeah, me, too.
500
00:21:22,339 --> 00:21:24,420
But enough about the past.
501
00:21:24,421 --> 00:21:26,313
- Yeah.
- Let's look towards the future.
502
00:21:26,314 --> 00:21:29,044
Totally. Forward-looking.
That's the way to be.
503
00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:32,714
Like, I want to know
more about the future...
504
00:21:32,766 --> 00:21:35,050
of your cock.
505
00:21:35,591 --> 00:21:37,027
Excuse me?
506
00:21:37,028 --> 00:21:39,642
Yeah, I want to know more
about the future of your,
507
00:21:39,643 --> 00:21:43,136
um, big hard cock when
I put my hand around it
508
00:21:43,137 --> 00:21:45,598
and it gets so hard, and then I shove it
509
00:21:45,599 --> 00:21:48,947
into my slimy vagina like a...
like one of the Stalley pickles.
510
00:21:50,451 --> 00:21:53,027
What? It's not funny.
511
00:21:53,034 --> 00:21:55,120
Sorry, it was kind of funny.
512
00:21:55,155 --> 00:21:58,470
Shoshanna, I like you, okay?
513
00:21:58,471 --> 00:22:00,736
And I also like the thought
of your hand on my cock,
514
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:04,867
but not when half of the cast
of "The Good Wife" is at the bar.
515
00:22:04,868 --> 00:22:06,311
What? Oh, my God.
516
00:22:06,312 --> 00:22:07,561
- Oh, my God.
- You see 'em?
517
00:22:07,562 --> 00:22:09,398
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
518
00:22:09,399 --> 00:22:11,093
- That's Josh Charles.
- I know.
519
00:22:11,094 --> 00:22:13,093
- He died.
- I know, he's alive.
520
00:22:13,094 --> 00:22:14,062
Oh, my God.
521
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,719
You guys don't know how lucky you have it.
522
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,157
I mean, your Hannah's a creative,
what all children should be.
523
00:22:22,164 --> 00:22:24,149
- Soraya is so...
- What?
524
00:22:24,184 --> 00:22:25,994
Look, I don't want to be a bitch.
525
00:22:25,995 --> 00:22:27,982
She's my daughter, I love her,
526
00:22:27,983 --> 00:22:29,456
but she's boring.
527
00:22:29,457 --> 00:22:31,556
Only you would be bored by a daughter
528
00:22:31,557 --> 00:22:33,462
who's an infant cardiac surgeon,
529
00:22:33,463 --> 00:22:34,900
- for Christ's sake.
- What could I do?
530
00:22:34,901 --> 00:22:37,325
- Lana smoked meth.
- Oh, Gregg.
531
00:22:37,326 --> 00:22:39,531
Well, she did. We found
out she was smoking meth,
532
00:22:39,583 --> 00:22:41,512
so it could always be worse.
533
00:22:41,513 --> 00:22:42,838
How the hell could it be worse than that?
534
00:22:42,839 --> 00:22:45,243
She's a creative. She's
a professional dancer.
535
00:22:45,244 --> 00:22:46,736
Oh, well, that's... it's fine, then, yeah.
536
00:22:46,737 --> 00:22:49,363
Well, uh...
537
00:22:49,364 --> 00:22:50,857
I just want to...
538
00:22:50,858 --> 00:22:52,612
- I just want to make a toast.
- Oh!
539
00:22:52,613 --> 00:22:54,250
Uh-oh, should I get out the sleeping bags?
540
00:22:54,251 --> 00:22:55,525
This gonna be an all-nighter?
541
00:22:55,526 --> 00:22:57,277
No, I promise to make it short.
542
00:22:57,278 --> 00:22:59,384
- I just want to say that...
- Good.
543
00:22:59,436 --> 00:23:01,402
...tonight I'm so proud of my wife.
544
00:23:01,403 --> 00:23:03,921
- Aw.
- I am, my life partner.
545
00:23:05,392 --> 00:23:06,808
My closest friend.
546
00:23:08,562 --> 00:23:11,479
You're everything to me.
547
00:23:11,532 --> 00:23:13,398
And these years have been a gift.
548
00:23:17,371 --> 00:23:19,521
And this honor is well-deserved.
549
00:23:19,527 --> 00:23:20,872
Beyond that, it's inevitable.
550
00:23:20,908 --> 00:23:25,827
And it's everything that-that
you... th-that we-we wanted.
551
00:23:25,879 --> 00:23:28,663
What?
552
00:23:28,664 --> 00:23:31,552
What I'm feeling is
something akin to pride.
553
00:23:31,553 --> 00:23:33,218
Excuse me.
554
00:23:33,253 --> 00:23:37,318
I cannot stand to listen to this
bullshit for one more second.
555
00:23:37,319 --> 00:23:38,724
- Bullshit?
- Just not now, Tad.
556
00:23:38,725 --> 00:23:40,149
- Loreen.
- Not now.
557
00:23:40,150 --> 00:23:42,644
Come on.
558
00:23:46,176 --> 00:23:48,433
Listen, she's-she's had a very big night.
559
00:23:48,485 --> 00:23:50,670
I really think we should
just-just enjoy ourselves,
560
00:23:50,671 --> 00:23:52,245
just-just eat, just finish dinner.
561
00:23:52,246 --> 00:23:53,345
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Let's just eat, okay?
562
00:23:53,346 --> 00:23:56,191
- Good idea.
- Yeah, thanks, Av.
563
00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:02,430
Quick!
564
00:24:02,431 --> 00:24:04,264
- Jesus, Avi.
- No, super quiet. Just be quiet.
565
00:24:04,265 --> 00:24:07,208
What? What?
566
00:24:07,209 --> 00:24:08,870
Oh, God.
567
00:24:09,957 --> 00:24:12,668
Are you insane? Stop it.
568
00:24:12,669 --> 00:24:14,381
You didn't stop it up
at the lake last summer.
569
00:24:14,382 --> 00:24:16,607
That was a mistake. Just please stop.
570
00:24:16,608 --> 00:24:19,044
Listen, I know how things are.
I know you're having problems.
571
00:24:19,045 --> 00:24:21,582
- I know it, he told me.
- He told you?
572
00:24:21,583 --> 00:24:23,218
Listen to me. I love you.
573
00:24:23,270 --> 00:24:25,782
I love you, and I've got to tell you now
574
00:24:25,783 --> 00:24:27,469
on the eve of your tenure. I love you.
575
00:24:27,470 --> 00:24:29,656
My feelings for you are getting
stronger every single day.
576
00:24:29,657 --> 00:24:33,144
This is insane. You have completely
lost it. Just let go of me.
577
00:24:33,196 --> 00:24:35,779
Listen to me, I see you. I
see the pain that you're in.
578
00:24:35,780 --> 00:24:37,776
It's coming off you like a stink.
579
00:24:37,777 --> 00:24:40,550
You have no idea. Just leave me alone.
580
00:24:40,551 --> 00:24:45,769
Jesus, what bad fucking timing.
581
00:24:45,776 --> 00:24:47,550
All right, sorry.
582
00:24:47,551 --> 00:24:49,244
You needn't mock me.
583
00:24:49,296 --> 00:24:52,001
I'm not mocking you. I'm not mock...
584
00:24:57,388 --> 00:25:00,171
Just take a shower or something.
585
00:25:12,102 --> 00:25:13,318
Hey.
586
00:25:13,353 --> 00:25:15,403
- Hi.
- Hey.
587
00:25:16,690 --> 00:25:19,357
I'm really sorry, you know?
588
00:25:19,409 --> 00:25:20,942
Okay.
589
00:25:20,944 --> 00:25:23,778
I was so selfish and, like...
590
00:25:25,615 --> 00:25:29,417
After I left, I was
just taking a walk and...
591
00:25:29,453 --> 00:25:31,527
you know, I started
thinking about my old man
592
00:25:31,528 --> 00:25:34,289
and I feel really ashamed, Marn.
593
00:25:34,291 --> 00:25:36,541
Good.
594
00:25:36,593 --> 00:25:39,794
Hey, Marn, can you stop
typing for a sec, please?
595
00:25:41,631 --> 00:25:43,548
Do you mind if I sit down?
596
00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:49,471
Look, Marn...
597
00:25:49,523 --> 00:25:51,773
No, listen...
598
00:25:51,808 --> 00:25:54,776
I am not a materialistic person at all.
599
00:25:54,811 --> 00:25:57,812
This is what tore my
parents' marriage apart.
600
00:25:57,814 --> 00:26:00,111
This is a real fucking thing for me.
601
00:26:00,117 --> 00:26:02,472
Money destroys couples.
602
00:26:02,473 --> 00:26:04,223
- I couldn't agree...
- It destroys trust
603
00:26:04,224 --> 00:26:06,103
when one person in a couple
604
00:26:06,104 --> 00:26:08,359
is misallocating funds and is misusing the
605
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:08,908
- money
- Marnie,
606
00:26:08,909 --> 00:26:11,326
please, baby, shut up for a sec.
There's something I need to tell you.
607
00:26:11,378 --> 00:26:12,883
What the fuck is your problem?
608
00:26:12,884 --> 00:26:14,477
Can you just... I gotta say some...
609
00:26:14,484 --> 00:26:15,934
I gotta say something here.
610
00:26:15,935 --> 00:26:16,881
- Okay.
- Can I talk?
611
00:26:16,967 --> 00:26:19,501
Yes, talk. Jesus Christ.
612
00:26:19,553 --> 00:26:22,414
Today was the very last day of my life
613
00:26:22,415 --> 00:26:24,945
that I ever want to make
a decision without you.
614
00:26:24,946 --> 00:26:26,341
Good.
615
00:26:32,682 --> 00:26:34,099
What's happening?
616
00:26:35,402 --> 00:26:39,201
I'd always swore that I
would never get married
617
00:26:39,202 --> 00:26:42,432
until my gay cousin Destin could,
618
00:26:42,433 --> 00:26:44,359
but I can't wait any longer, baby.
619
00:26:44,411 --> 00:26:47,996
Marnie Michaels, will you marry me?
620
00:26:56,706 --> 00:26:58,206
I love you.
621
00:26:58,258 --> 00:26:59,874
Des!
622
00:26:59,876 --> 00:27:03,094
I'm confused. I'm so confused.
623
00:27:03,130 --> 00:27:04,462
So maybe you're wrong.
624
00:27:04,548 --> 00:27:06,014
I don't think I'm wrong.
625
00:27:06,049 --> 00:27:07,098
How do you know?
626
00:27:07,134 --> 00:27:08,716
Because this is the hardest thing
627
00:27:08,718 --> 00:27:11,052
I've ever done in my
life, and I'm doing it.
628
00:27:11,060 --> 00:27:13,978
And truthfully I watch
a lot of gay pornography.
629
00:27:13,979 --> 00:27:15,360
Oh, God.
630
00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:18,943
So...
631
00:27:18,947 --> 00:27:21,684
you want to suck a dick now?
632
00:27:21,685 --> 00:27:22,860
That's what you want to do?
633
00:27:22,866 --> 00:27:23,922
You don't have to be vulgar.
634
00:27:23,929 --> 00:27:25,415
No, I just want to know if you mean it.
635
00:27:25,416 --> 00:27:28,108
You want a dick in your mouth?
636
00:27:28,109 --> 00:27:30,510
- Loreen...
- You want to suck someone else's dick?
637
00:27:30,511 --> 00:27:32,244
- Okay.
- Or do you wanna
638
00:27:32,248 --> 00:27:34,110
put it in somebody's ass...
639
00:27:34,111 --> 00:27:35,076
- All right.
- ...like in a...
640
00:27:37,831 --> 00:27:39,712
It's probably Avi.
641
00:27:40,912 --> 00:27:42,687
He's in love with me.
642
00:27:46,756 --> 00:27:49,742
Oh, no, it's Hannah. Hannah, our daughter.
643
00:27:49,743 --> 00:27:51,976
I'm not telling her.
You have to tell her.
644
00:27:52,012 --> 00:27:53,823
I'm not ruining her childhood.
645
00:27:53,824 --> 00:27:56,273
I'm not telling her her
whole life has been a lie.
646
00:27:56,274 --> 00:27:57,848
All right, I'll tell her. I will.
647
00:27:57,849 --> 00:27:58,900
Hi.
648
00:27:58,935 --> 00:28:01,213
- Hi, Mommy.
- Tell her.
649
00:28:01,214 --> 00:28:02,695
Not now, not on the telephone.
650
00:28:02,696 --> 00:28:03,738
- Just tell her.
- No.
651
00:28:03,773 --> 00:28:06,608
Tell me what? Wait, Mom, I
need to ask you something.
652
00:28:06,610 --> 00:28:10,200
Do you think I'm a dramatic person?
653
00:28:10,201 --> 00:28:11,251
'Cause this guy that I like,
654
00:28:11,252 --> 00:28:12,639
or like don't even like...
655
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,501
I went on one half date with
him and he claims to like me...
656
00:28:15,502 --> 00:28:17,694
- Sweetie.
- ...says I am too dramatic.
657
00:28:17,695 --> 00:28:21,064
I'm not dramatic. I'm a person
who's not gonna sugarcoat things.
658
00:28:21,070 --> 00:28:22,538
- Sweets.
- I'm a person
659
00:28:22,564 --> 00:28:24,607
who really gets a lot
660
00:28:24,620 --> 00:28:25,750
- out of life.
- Hey, Hannah?
661
00:28:25,751 --> 00:28:28,581
Okay, and I'm also a person
who sees the darkness in life.
662
00:28:28,582 --> 00:28:30,288
I'm not a fucking character on "The Hills."
663
00:28:30,294 --> 00:28:32,080
I'm responding to real issues.
664
00:28:32,081 --> 00:28:33,961
I'm responding to the financial crisis.
665
00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:37,256
I'm responding to the fact that
so many people are homeless.
666
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:38,606
- Hey... hey, Hannah?
- If that makes me dramatic,
667
00:28:38,642 --> 00:28:40,475
if that makes me Courtney Love,
668
00:28:40,527 --> 00:28:42,881
you know, then I can handle that,
669
00:28:42,882 --> 00:28:44,815
but the thing is, it's
like there's no way...
670
00:28:44,816 --> 00:28:47,899
Hannah! Your father is gay.
671
00:28:54,535 --> 00:28:55,504
Uh...
672
00:28:55,523 --> 00:28:57,279
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
673
00:28:57,288 --> 00:29:01,018
♪ Ketty kept the list of times ♪
674
00:29:01,019 --> 00:29:04,690
♪ Now that she had
really gone and done it ♪
675
00:29:04,691 --> 00:29:08,002
♪ So we swarmed like flies ♪
676
00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:12,450
♪ Pretending that we were terrified, too ♪
677
00:29:12,451 --> 00:29:16,010
♪ We snuck out that night ♪
678
00:29:16,046 --> 00:29:19,993
♪ Rolled the Chrysler down the driveway ♪
679
00:29:20,006 --> 00:29:23,751
♪ But once we were inside ♪
680
00:29:23,787 --> 00:29:28,590
♪ Couldn't figure out
where we were off to ♪
681
00:29:28,625 --> 00:29:31,526
♪ That was before ♪
682
00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:36,731
♪ We had made ♪
683
00:29:36,766 --> 00:29:43,037
♪ Any terrible mistakes ♪
684
00:29:48,812 --> 00:29:52,554
♪ That's just teenage talk ♪
685
00:29:52,567 --> 00:29:56,609
♪ I don't think the past
is better, better ♪
686
00:29:56,610 --> 00:29:59,854
♪ Just 'cause it's cased in glass ♪
687
00:29:59,889 --> 00:30:03,992
♪ Protecting us from our now and later ♪
688
00:30:04,027 --> 00:30:07,662
♪ How do you see me now ♪
689
00:30:07,697 --> 00:30:11,827
♪ Now that I'm a little bit older, older? ♪
690
00:30:11,828 --> 00:30:15,269
♪ Never mind the albatross ♪
691
00:30:15,305 --> 00:30:19,007
♪ Smoldering on my shoulder, shoulder ♪
692
00:30:19,042 --> 00:30:24,012
♪ Shoulder, shoulder. ♪
52570
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