All language subtitles for Girls.S02E04.AFG.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

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I feel like I wanna, I just want to be
so honest with you right now.

- I want that.
- I want to be super honest.

- I want that.
- Like, I wanna tell you...

I wanna tell you
that I fucked Marnie.

Wait.
What?

You know you're moving out, right?

- Me?
- Yeah, you.

- Hi.
- Hi. How are you?

- So you're good? - You're kidding,
I've never been this well in my life.

This is what is like
when the hunt is over.

I knew about you and Elijah.

Hannah, I'm very sorry.

Maybe I'm not the bad friend

and you're not
the good friend, okay?

www.MY-SUBS.com

I am livid that it has come to this.

Well, Elijah,
join the club, okay?

Here's your round brush,
here's your Astroglide.

Don't even know how
that ended up in my room.

Please don't sit on that chair
if you're not wearing underwear.

You know what, actually, I'm gonna sit
on this chair all day as much as I like.

Vagina back and forth forever,

just my whole crotchal area
spreading out.

- It's my chair now.
- Oh, you're gonna keep that chair?

Yeah, because I talked to George and
I'm keeping everything that he paid for.

- He wants me to. And, wait, that's...
- Everything.

I know, I know, I know.
He paid for everything.

- Yeah.
- But I resent the fact

that this was not a dialogue,
this was a monologue.

Well, Elijah, there was
no dialogue to have.

You're not a nice man, okay?

- You're a fink.
- I'm a fink?

Yes, there's
certain people, Elijah,

who are meant to remain
in your past, all right?

I made a mistake
trying to repurpose you.

- Repurpose me?
- Mm-hmm.

I'm not a vintage cardigan.

Also, I will not be
paying rent this month.

- Uh, yeah, you will.
- Actually, no, I won't.

First of all, I don't have
the funds, so I can't.

Second of all,
I've been doing some math

and, basically, I paid for all
of your burritos junior year.

- On your own offer.
- And they were way more expensive

than a normal
fucking girl's burritos

because you were constantly
doing add-ons.

Spinach, guac, pecans.

It's not my fault that you didn't
want to liven up your meal

and also, you know what,
that's what a boyfriend does.

- They pay for things.
- And I paid for our butt plug.

Well, you're probably still using it,
so maybe you should pay me.

Butt plug.

Honestly.

And then once you get into
Brooklyn, it's a left at DeKalb.

DeKalb-- no, it's the name
of a street, Pop.

Okay, thank you, sir.

Yeah, me, too.
Very much.

Okay, bye.
They're already on the road.

I mean, why does my mother need
to get to every place early?

- What is that?
- Ew, I hate when people are early.

It's so vile.

Well, we should get ready
and beat 'em to the restaurant.

- They hate waiting.
- What am I gonna eat at a steak house?

I only want spinach, but I know
they're gonna force meat on me.

I can't even eat meat
unless I'm menstruating.

Oh, I'm sure you'll find
a delicate way of explaining that.

- How much time do we have?
- We've got, um--

not enough for that.

It's the good one.

It is the good-- oh, fuck.

Hey, Pops.

You know what I was thinking?
How 'bout you use your GPS?

That's what it's for.

Okay, bye.

Let's have a look
at the bad one.

You know, it's just
a little celebration

because, you know, jazzhate.com
is publishing my first piece.

- Congratulations.
- Congratulations.

Thank you. Yeah, so I thought
I would use that money

to make some people
that I love very happy.

So I bought all organic,
and I am making pad Thai.

I love pad Thai.

I love it, too.

Hey, Marnie.

Hi.

Hello.

- I thought you said she wasn't coming.
- I-- yeah, I know.

- It's confusing. I don't know.
- Hannah, we should go. I'm sorry.

Okay, honestly, she and I are
on horrible terms right now.

I just invited her
as a gesture.

I did not think she would come.

It is, frankly, psychotic
of her to show up.

What-- what are you guys
fighting about?

I cannot tell you

because it would
really, really hurt you.

Who-- hurt who?

I'm sorry, I am a good girl.

- Wha--?
- I just think we should get out of here.

- We should go.
- You should not go, okay?

If anyone should go,
she should go.

You should not go.

I don't want to cause an issue,
so I think I'm just gonna go.

Don't go.

And you don't go.

Nobody go.

Come on, baby.

Just-- can you
tell them about it, Aud?

Okay, okay.

So my friend Shelby and I are
starting a mustard company.

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.

They're amazing.
It's like they're sweet

and then they're spicy and
then they go back to sweet.

- And I don't know how you do it.
- That is so awesome.

Marnie, we need to get it together because
this girl's starting a mustard company.

What have we ever done with
our lives that's so great?

Nothing that great.
Nothing with condiments.

So what are you up to, Marnie?

I heard you were
looking for a job.

Oh, no.

Actually, I've been hosting
at the Wedgebrook Club.

Oh, so you're hosting,
like, a slam poetry night

or an open-mic-night-type thing?

I'm a hostess.

Oh, so when people
come to the restaurant,

you, like, show them
where their table is?

- Yes.
- Got it.

Sorry.

Don't freak out.
We're here.

Hi. I'm really sorry
that we're late,

but we couldn't get a cab,

and then we got a cab
and then the cab's late...

- What's up?
- ...here because I lost my earring

in the cab and so we had
to stop and pull over

and I had to find it and it was
just, like, this whole thing.

Hey, we're adults, okay?

We're all adults.
You can tell them we had sex.

Okay? That's why we're late--
because we had sex.

I'm so sorry.
I totally lied to you all.

You guys have sex
before dinner?

This place looks amaze.

Thank you. I feel I really cleaned
up in my divorce from Elijah.

Seriously, though, I really think
that the best years of your life

are totally gonna happen here.

Happening.

What is that smell, though?

Noodles.
Noodles are so hard to make.

Oh, fuck!

- They're fine.
- So where do you get your headbands?

Would you stop worrying
about your car?

Giuliani fixed New York.

- They stole my car radio.
- Hey, don't rock the boat, all right?

- So don't tell me not to worry.
- Okay?

Hey. Hey.

- Oh, hey.
- Hey, Pop.

- Hi. Congratulations.
- How are you doing?

- Oh, thanks, Mom.
- Hi.

My God.

- This is Jessa.
- Hi!

They wouldn't seat us because
our whole party's not here.

Oh, right.
I'm-- I'm sorry.

- We were--
- It's me. I'm always late to everything.

She's always late for everything.
It's awful.

- It's lovely to meet you, Jessa.
- You, too.

I mean, I hate this restaurant,

but I don't even care 'cause
I'm so happy to meet you guys.

That's sweet.

- Who's hungry?
- I'm hungry.

- Starving.
- Okay, I'll get us set.

Oi!

I just don't think anyone should do
anything they're not comfortable with,

especially when
it comes to sex.

Well, yes, Marnie. That's the
principle behind not raping people.

I don't know, just-- unlike you,
I'll do almost anything sexually.

I feel like the only thing that I
won't do ever again is a butt plug.

Ah, she has limits.

- What's a butt plug?
- No.

You know what a butt plug is.

- You wanna take this one?
- Shosh...

- Really?
- Shosh, it's a plug for your butt.

No, but why would you--
why would you wanna plug it--

- why would you wanna--
- Sexual situations.

Yeah, it's, like, for men.

'Cause, like, your prostate
is a stimulating area,

I think, and it's just
in your butt.

It's like having a clit
in your butt.

Do you want that?

- No.
- He wants it.

Every guy wants it.
Elijah begged for it.

So he was asking you
to plug his butt

and you still had doubts
about his homosexuality?

Yeah, and a lot of people
like some-- you know,

some shit up
their butthole, right?

- Ugh.
- What?

Oh, I have a thing.
I hate-- I hate that word.

She doesn't like
the word butthole.

- Oh, yeah.
- Butthole?

Ugh, stop.
Please don't.

- It's her trigger word.
- Yeah.

- Butthole.
- Stop saying it! Seriously--

Butthole sends you
over the edge?

- Yes, it's awful.
- Really?

Maybe you don't like it 'cause you're
imagining his butthole right now

and now there's a very adorable
little sentry guarding it

and you no longer have access
to said butthole.

I mean, no offense-- don't
take this the wrong way,

but I spend no time of my life

thinking about
that part of your body.

Glad it doesn't take up your day.

Well, you're clearly thinking
a little bit about his butthole.

Whoa! I-I don't think so.
What makes you think that?

I don't know, I mean,
showing up places all the time

to see your ex-boyfriend when
he's with his new girlfriend?

Are you talking about tonight?

I was invited here by Hannah.

Well, yeah, I didn't
really think you'd show up,

considering you had so
recently double-crossed me.

Oh, and there was the time
that you showed up at his door

in the middle of the night,
asking to sleep in his bed.

- You did that?
- You told her?

He was fucking guilty,
as he should be.

He fucking let me in.

What was he gonna do,
turn away a crying mess?

- He probably thought you'd
slit your wrists. - Audrey.

No, she's too self-involved
to commit suicide.

What the fuck is your problem?

I'm tired of being polite.

You're a fucking
Stepford psycho...

- All right, can you-- - ...and I'm tired
of seeing you around everywhere.

- So then leave.
- You leave.

Hannah, who would
you like to leave?

Charlie can pick who leaves.

Are you fucking serious?

Grow up.

Uh, excuse me, I am grown up.

That's why I cooked all this food.

Honestly, no one
pay that any mind.

She does this all the time.
Just continue to have a ball.

You don't need to stop talking.

I love what I made.

Ray, are you still staying
at that place in Boerum Hill?

- It sounded really nice.
- No, in Boerum Hill?

My godmother, um, she actually--
you know, it's her place.

So she had to come up earlier
than expected from Florida

because she's doing rehab
for-- for her knee surgery.

- So I was ousted of that place.
- Where are you staying now?

Now?
Well, now I'm kind of--

you know, I'm kind of bouncing
around a little bit.

Yeah.

- Bouncing around.
- From where to where?

- Where are you going?
- Just the bathroom.

- That's not the bathroom.
- Are you-- is he leaving?

That's the-- I mean,
that's the front door.

So you're staying, like,
just different people's houses,

- different neighborhoods?
- Well, now I'm-- you know,

I'm kind of just
divvying it up, ahem,

amongst my buddies, you know.

Just kind of a few days here...

Well, you stay with me a lot.
He stays with me a lot.

Yeah, sometimes
I stay with her.

You kind of stay with me a lot.

I mean, like, you were there on
Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday

and then-- and then Thursday and
then-- and the week before,

and then, um, the week before...

that... you--

Oh, my God!
Do you live with me?

What'd you say?

- So, Jessa, it sounds like you've
traveled a lot. - I have, yeah.

What sorts of places
have you been?

- I've been-- all of them.
- All of them.

Europe, mainly, except Spain,
because I'm avoiding someone.

Jordan, the Arab Emirates, Iran...

She's like a dove of peace.

My mom traveled quite a bit.

What for?

I don't know.
Why does anyone travel?

- I can think of some reasons.
- That's a good question.

- Lots of people travel for work.
- Right.

- Did your mom work? - She tried it once.
I don't think she liked it.

- Ah.
- And what do you do?

Um, as far as, like...

Well, like, Taj here

always dated
very ambitious women.

What was that one-- she ran the
Oprah network or something?

- Oh, Dad, we don't need to talk
about Fern. - Fern! Fern.

Fern?
That's a ridiculous name.

You know, Jessa is actually
a very talented artist.

- Oh. - And she's just
trying to work out right now

which avenue to go down.

Um, probably graphic
design, I think is...

Thomas-John Sr.
Oh, what college you go to?

Oberlin College.
Oberlin College.

Oh, but that's
a very good school.

- It is a good school. - You know,
I only went there for seven months.

- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.

Well, you know
what I always say,

seven months is better
than no months at all.

Oh, that's a great saying.

So, Jessa, why did you leave?

I, uh, had to go to rehab.

- Ugh.
- Oh, so you're back on the drink again?

- That's great.
- Yeah, no-- come on.

I've been drinking
since I was a child.

- It's not alcohol.
- Of course.

- It was for heroin, actually.
- Oh.

You know, Jessa does
her own hair.

I've always wondered
about heroin.

- I always wondered, like, what
it would feel like. - Yeah.

- What it is when you take something
and you just... - Big Taj.

...just disappear in it.

Hmm?

No, it's delicious.
It's amazing.

But if it didn't ruin
your whole body

and your whole life,
we'd all be on it right now.

- You know, practically coming out of our
eye sockets. - Would we? Would we, though?

I never shot it.
I only snorted it.

- That's important.
- Yeah, it's just like an Advil.

You know, the kind
of movies I like

are movies about schoolgirls
who fall in love.

- Oh, that's not creepy, Dad.
- I do, too, actually.

I love you.
I love your way.

- Thank you. - Can I just-- for
the record, can I just point out

that I have never seen
Jessa take heroin

in the whole time
that we've known each other.

Fabulous.

You certainly have lived a lot.

I guess so.
I guess so.

Oh, but it's very impressive,

especially since I haven't
heard a word about work.

Um, yeah, well,
I'll figure it out.

- She's resourceful.
- Mm.

Must be very nice to find
yourself in such a...

successful situation.

Situation?

Well, what is one
supposed to call it?

Well, one's supposed
to call it a marriage, Mom.

Or a union.

- A union of souls.
- Yeah.

Union. Excuse me.

Well, I would just like
to thank the Lord

that you weren't hurt,

especially in the face
and especially on your body.

- Aw.
- Oh, my God.

Well, I wish
there was a Lord...

- Oh, my--
- ...but I know there isn't.

And this is why we didn't
invite you to the wedding.

Hey, it's me.

I'm-- I'm sorry
about Audrey.

She's, uh...

Being a total fucking cunt.

Seriously, she's being
really rude.

- She's insecure. - Why? Are her
mustards not receiving enough accolades?

No, because she knows
how much you mean to me.

You're such a big part
of my life.

No one knows me better
than you do, you know?

And that's a hard spot to fill,
so she's threatened.

You have to try
and understand that.

She's not intimidated by me.

Why would she be?

I'm a hostess.

I don't know what the next year
of my life is gonna be like at all.

I don't know what the next week
of my life is gonna be like.

I don't even know what I want.

Sometimes I just wish
someone would tell me,

like, this is how you
should spend your days

and this is how the rest
of your life should look.

I don't know. I mean, but she's
just-- she's not intimidated.

Okay, yeah, fine.
Yeah, you're right.

There's no way that
she could be intimidated

because you're not smart
or beautiful

or incredibly clean.

You--

Hey, hey.
Hey, I'm seeing someone.

Which someone?

- Booth Jonathan.
- Oh.

What?
Oh.

That little Ewok
in fucking capri pants?

He's a brilliant artist,

and he's...
of average height.

Nothing can erase
what you and I had.

- That's not possible.
- Stop.

Look, just know in your head

that you will
never again get any...

any of this.

- Where are you going?
- I'm going-- gone.

I think I just feel how
everyone feels, which is I have

three or four really great
folk albums in me.

- Where'd Audrey go?
- Where do you think, Charles?

Fuck.
She pissed?

That you followed your
ex-girlfriend to the roof?

No, not at all.
Why would she be pissed?

Yeah, well, maybe she just
felt a little bit used.

- You okay?
- Mm-mm, no. Not okay.

But we can talk about it when
we get back to our shared home,

which we apparently share.

And I would've liked to have
been informed of that fact,

so I could have, like,
bought some new sheets

or called my aunt for advice about
living with a man for the first time!

- We don't live together.
- Really? Really?

So where do you live when
you're not living in my house

seven days a week?

In my Mitsubishi, technically.

Technically.

Nothing Bundt trouble?

Fucking Marnie. You know,
she comes in here like a stalker

with no sense of
what's socially appropriate,

and she just drives out my sweet,
sweet, sweet girlfriend.

She's a-- ugh.
She's a cunt.

You're a jerk.

- What? - You know the kind
of year that she's had.

Okay, first, you guys break up,

then her dad loses his job,
then she loses her job,

then she has sex with a gay man,
then she has to come over here

and deal with your needs
and your whining.

I'm sorry, you're a fucking jerk.

- What gay man?
- That is none of your concern.

- I thought you weren't even talking to her.
- I'm not talking to her.

'Cause she's a jerk, too.

- I was telling them about my life.
- Oh, yeah? Really?

You told me not to say anything about
the tattoos or about the honeymoon

or how we returned the dogs
to the pet store.

You told me not to say anything.

I mean, what was
I supposed to do, lie?

Oh, oh.
God forbid.

Like that would be
the worst thing you ever did.

You think you're such
a fucking free spirit

because you shacked up
with me for two months?

I have been living this life
for 25 fucking years.

I am going to look
50 when I'm 30.

- Yes, you are. - I am going to
be so fucking fat like Nico.

And you know why? That's because
I'm gonna be full of experiences.

But you-- you'll have
only lived with me.

That'll be the one thing you've got.

- You're just-- it disgusts me.
- Oh, it disgusts you?

You don't seem so fucking disgusted
when you're spending my money.

- Oh, come on.
- Oh, come on?

What, the money
is irrelevant to you?

You think I think it's an
accident that you ended up

with the only
fucking finance guy

who actually made a profit
from the recession?

I'm a miracle!
I'm a unicorn!

I'm a fucking needle
in a haystack

and you're just some
fucking dumb hipster

who's munching my hay.

- I know what you are.
- Oh, you do?

You're just some scared guy

who didn't get laid
until they were 16.

No one liked you in high school

and no one likes you now.

I'm embarrassed when we
walk down the street

because you're
so fucking average.

I tell my friends that you
were born a test-tube baby

just so you have a little edge.

This is the worst mistake
I've ever made.

You're my worst nightmare.

Seriously, this is--

I've never made a mistake
like this before.

Oh, shit! Fuck!

What am I gonna do now?

Seriously,
what am I gonna do now?

You know why
I like hookers, Jessa?

They respect me.

They don't say,
"Oh, I like your apartment,"

but then mumble
under their breath

about it looking like
the set of "Gay Entourage."

And they don't buy
a bunch of fucking Buddhas

and put 'em everywhere

so it looks like
whenever we're having sex,

we're being watched
by a bunch of fat babies.

You're a ridiculous person.

And you're just a whore

with no work ethic.

Fuck!

Fuck it!

You--

- You hit me in the face?
- Yeah, grow up.

Fine.

How much?

- Excuse me? - How much money
do you need to fucking leave?

Ugh, go fuck yourself.

30,000.

10,000.

11 1/2 thousand

because I did things
I shouldn't have done

and I did things
I didn't want to do.

Fine. Whatever.

Just fucking take
whatever you want, Jessa.

You know what the best thing
about this is?

You have another fucked-up story
to add to your collection.

And someday,
some fucking asshole

is gonna make a movie out of your
life and it's gonna be called,

"Hi, I'm Jessa, and I Destroy People's
Lives 'Cause I'm Fucking Bored."

"Global Equities Graham-Brustein

Humanitarian Award."

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

You fucking--

- Prick.
- That was my "Humie."

I won that for being
a fucking humanitarian.

I'm in between places, okay?

You're older than me.

You should have your own place.

I know.
I know.

And you should have
more interests

and passions and things that you...
do.

I mean, when you get up every day,
there's-- there's nothing.

It's like, unless
you're going to work,

you don't have any--

you-- you can't pay
for anything--

Just say it!
Just fucking say it.

I'm a loser.

I'm a huge fucking loser.

Say it.

- I--
- Say it.

You don't think I was counting down
the days until you figured it out?

Why didn't you tell me
that you had no house?

I don't know.
Maybe I wasn't that excited to tell

my beautiful, cute, smart,
21-year-old girlfriend

that I'm a 33-year-old
homeless guy

whose one valuable
possession in this world

is a signed picture
of Andy Kaufman.

I'm a fucking loser in a lot of ways,
Shoshanna, you know that?

You know, it's like--

Like, what makes me
worth dating, you know?

What makes me worth
fucking anything?

I am falling in love with you.

That's a crazy thing
for you to say.

It's way too early for you
to say something like that.

Way too early.

You don't-- that's not
something that-- you know...

I'm-- I'm sorry.

I love you so fucking much.

What?

I love you so fucking much.

♪ I don't believe
that anybody ♪

♪ Feels the way I do
about you now ♪

♪ 'Cause all the roads
we have to walk are winding ♪

♪ And all the lights that
lead you there are blinding ♪

♪ There are many things
that I ♪

♪ Would like to say to you ♪

♪ But I don't know how ♪

♪ 'Cause maybe ♪

♪ You're gonna be the one
that saves-- ♪

Oh, my God. You scared me so much.

Are you okay?

No, don't get up.

Oh, my God, Jessa.

What?

You just snot-rocketed
in the tub.

That was gross?

That's so gross.

I'm sorry you're upset,
but that is so gross.

Oh, you wouldn't do that?

Not even I would do that.

I pee in every bathtub
I ever get in

and I wouldn't do that.

Honestly.

Get it away.

- Float it back in your way!
- No, I'm sad!

Float it back your way!

Keep it in your area.

Leave it!
It's gross!

I really love you.

I'm really sorry you're sad.

- I just need to get rid of your snot.
- Ah!

Synced by bellows, corrected by gloriabg
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