Original subtitles

Most of the time when you think history, you think boring, right?

Ancient civilizations with names you can't pronounce, date, facts.

I mean, who cares?

But sometimes, history can slam right into the present and totally blow your

mind.

The first ever movie theater in our town opened in 1925.

Phantom of the Opera was its first film.

But times changed, things progressed, and the old movie theater bit the dust.

Literally. There was a rumor that one faithful old moviegoer got trapped

when it went down.

Some folks even claimed he survived.

Yeah, right.

Anyway, a new theater was built, and new movies were shown.

And all the while, the legend grew.

Now, here I am, 17, working at the theater, and we still talk about the

Every time a piece of film breaks or the lights flicker, we instantly blame him.

Not that I believe in any phantom.

Truth is, I've got more important things on my mind.

That's me, Pete Riley.

My mom thinks I work way too hard, but she really doesn't get it.

I'm the youngest assistant manager they've ever had at this 26 -screen

Hey, I mean...

We're talking some serious responsibility here, right? Do you know

Saturday night, we have 52 people working, sell 88 pounds of popcorn, move

,000 patrons in and out, and have 63 showings with an average of four to six

minor technical glitches?

Whew, that's a lot to keep track of, trust me.

That's our senior manager, Sean McGiven. He's freaking out because our theater

owner and...

Sean's personal idol, Wolfgang Niedermeyer, scored like the coup of the

See, a movie called Midnight Mayhem, filmed not too far from here last

Niedermeyer used his connections to talk the filmmakers into coming back, right

here to our own grand megaplex for the big time, Hollywood -style world

premiere. Okay, stop, stop.

We're going to need one of us on either side and one in back, or someone's going

to end up with a major hernia, okay?

That's Ricky Larry, or as we call him, Ricky Rules.

No matter what you're doing, Ricky's got the procedure for it.

You know, once I heard kids were trying to push something like this, and it

started whirling backwards, and it crushed them, and one kid got killed,

other one's lost a bunch of fingers and toes and junk.

That's Terry Totora, nicknamed Scary Terry.

She's got a hundred stories to tell, and all of them end in death and

destruction. All right, great, you guys. Now, um, go straighten up the snack

bar.

This is fantastic.

Look at a great job we're doing, honey.

Aren't we so efficient?

Hillary Horan, a .k .a. Hillary Honey.

She's like your grandma in a teenage body.

Calls everybody sweetie and baby. Always wants to make sure we're eating enough,

wearing warm enough clothes.

Hey, Mark, could you please sleep down in the car before me? With the broom,

mean? Mark Jeffries.

Or as I call him, Question Mark.

You can't say anything to him without getting a hundred questions in response.

Yeah, with the broom.

straighten up the ticket booth, clean both ladies' rooms, wash the popcorn

maker, and stuff inside the elevator. Now what? Lacey Ling, a .k .a. Racey

Lacey. Why walk if you can run?

You know what you can do for me? Head upstairs, make sure that the trash cans

have been emptied, and then check to see if that wind machine arrived for our

Hollywood display.

Read the presentation criteria checklist that might move the ball, and you'd

know that digital soundtrack misreading is the number one cause for customer

grievances. That guy? He's our head projectionist, Merle. Ask a simple

get a way too complicated techno -speak answer in return.

Slow it down, my dear.

Life is like a good movie. Every moment should be savored.

Meet Movie Mason. He doesn't work here.

He just thinks he does.

It was Mason's family who opened the original theater on this spot in the

Mason loves movies more than anything.

When they tore his place down to build the Megaplex, he had a hard time letting

go. My schedule!

So, each week Mason types up his work schedule, and each week Sean

files it.

Still, Mason shows up every day, and we're always happy to see him.

Anyway, it's not only the premiere I'm pumped about.

See, there's this girl, Caitlin Kerrigan. And I got her and her friend

passes to an early movie into the premiere.

Not bad, huh?

Now you get why tonight everything has to be totally, 100 % perfect.

Whoa!

I cannot stress enough, people, that on a night as monumental as this one,

careers are going to be made and careers will be broken.

Tonight, as the eyes of the entertainment world fall upon our humble

what I want them to see is greatness.

Greatness that can only come from you kids and the rest of my crack Saturday

night team.

To quote Mr. Niedermeyer, it is service that can't be beat that puts a butt in

every seat.

I expect to see the straightest bow ties, the neatest vests, the most

shoes. Well, Sean, are you sure?

Because once I heard these kids with really shiny she -hounds... No, no, no.

Shusha, shusha.

Terry, rise to my level or be gone. For those of you who do wish to remain

employed, I expect to see you back here promptly at three to start your shifts.

Three today, you mean?

No, Mark. Three o 'clock a year from Tuesday.

Yes.

Ah, Mr. Niedermeyer.

You did.

I see.

No, no.

If you feel that your son -in -law is the best man for the general manager's

job, that's a decision I will have to respect.

Of course, sir. We'll see you both tonight.

We are professionals.

And we will act like

professionals.

On all shows before the premiere this evening, we will get the customers in,

them out, but always be kind and courteous.

In the words of Mr. Niedermeyer, a smile at every door...

Keeps them coming back for more.

Yes.

Yes.

You're a good man, Pete.

You might go places in this organization.

And since Mr. Niedermeyer expects the impossible this evening, if anything

go wrong, I'm fully prepared to blame you.

Dismissed.

Then I make plans with my friends, and then suddenly at the last second, you

you need me to babysit. I told you last Monday I needed you for tonight.

Was I listening?

Are you ever?

What's up?

Mom's going out with George tonight.

Huh, I think you might finally propose.

Why do you guys keep pushing this?

You and George are great together.

You're always happy when he's around.

Oh, yeah, you know what you should do? You should be like Gilly Blake and

a bridesmaid. Tell him how great you look in white, ask him if he wants to

old maid, and then tell him you'll give him a ring.

When you get home.

Does every reference in your life have to be from a movie?

Why shouldn't it be?

You sound exactly like the grouchy old dad in Blank Screen.

Yeah, well, I just think it'd be cool if every once in a while you two lived in

the real world.

Boring.

How about George?

George will propose if and when he's ready.

Yeah, but as Wendy Dillon said in Maybe Baby, until you apply the headlock, he

might never comply with wedlock.

We'll move to town tonight.

Pete said it's not going to be playing much longer, and tomorrow I've got

baseball practice all day. Why can't Pete take him and he goes to work

Then I can meet my friends at the University of Death.

Oh, you're not seeing that movie with or without Brian. I don't like this bloody

sickling thing.

I'm not asking you to see it.

Watch that tone.

I hate my life.

You still treat me like I'm three years old.

No, I do not.

Now run in the house and I'll fix you a bottle.

I'm not laughing, Mom.

Well, start. It helps.

Okay, final offer.

You and Brian can go see Farmer Brown, Pete can drive you home on his dinner

break, and then you only have to be on duty till I get home at midnight.

Sounds sweet.

To who?

To whom?

Take it or leave it, hon. And even if I didn't have a date, I wouldn't let you

see College of Blood.

Mom, it's University of Death.

No, same difference.

Slow down, Grog. Nobody's going to steal your wooly mammoth meat.

I'm starving.

Obviously.

How did it go down at the theater?

Oh, it was so cool. Me and Ricky, we had to put this... Ricky and I?

Ricky and I, we had to put this huge monster blow -up thing above the main

marquee. They had you up on the roof?

Yeah, Mom, and I fell off, cracked my skull, and now I'm dead.

Just for the record, I don't approve.

Oh, listen, I realize I should have checked with you first.

But would it be okay for you to drive the Littles home on your break tonight?

They'll be long gone before the start of the premiere.

That's not what I'm worried about.

Caitlin's coming by. I snagged her and a friend passes for an earlier movie and

then to stay for the premiere.

They won't bother you. I'll make them promise.

I just don't want them coming up and making dumb comments and stuff.

Pete, you know how those two are.

Bombs could be going off when they're watching a movie and it wouldn't

them. They're exactly like your father that way.

Who loved the movies more than Dad?

I wonder if that's why you ended up at the Megaplex.

Well, no disrespect, Mom, but I'm in it strictly for the cold, hard cash.

Uh, yeah.

Um... Speaking of which, don't you think you've been putting in too many hours

down there? We go over this every month. The answer is still no.

I love my job.

Yeah, but all work and no play... It's gonna make me really, really rich.

And burned out before you're 30.

Pete, you're young. You have plenty of years to work. You should be out

yourself.

Mom, don't worry about it. I'm fine.

Tonight sounds like it's going to be pretty great, though.

Klieg lights, limousines, movie stars.

Karen said Sarah Joan Michelle whatever was going to be there.

Madison Ashley Metz, Mom.

Isn't that what I said?

No, really, it sounds so exciting.

Are you nervous?

Mom, we're professionals.

We have everything under control.

It's a disaster. A total calamity. I am talking fade out the end. What's going

on? Craig and Randy just both phoned in sick. And Jana, well, she's simply lost

in the ozone.

How could nearly half our staff pick tonight, of all nights, to simply not

up? And Niedermeyer keeps calling every five minutes to see how it's going. He

keeps telling me this premiere has to go off without a flaw.

Without a hitch.

Without one single... Oh, no.

Oh, no, no. You see, when I get nervous, I... Go.

Get me water from the snack bar. Flat. No bubbles. Go.

Okay.

All right, I'll see you later.

For the latest, since we're so understaffed, all breaks and dinner

been canceled, which is a huge violation of our union contract.

But I guess tonight's not the night to get into Sean's face about it. Good

instincts, Ricky.

I heard once these kids at this restaurant didn't get their dinner break

they all started fainting. And then... Blood, guts, death, destruction.

I mean, come on, Terry.

Like we haven't heard it like a thousand times.

We're never going to get through this. Even if we didn't have the premiere.

is way too much stuff for us to handle. Hey, tough up, rookies.

To quote Sean, quoting Niedermeyer, if you don't want to get canned, give your

very best to the grand.

I'll make this bigger.

Are you bringing that to put up the neck of the balloon drop?

Check it out, Sean. It's completely three steps ahead of you guys.

Man, is he dedicated or what? Even though he didn't get the general manager

he's still hustling like a maniac.

Now listen to me. I need to figure this out before my mom gets out of the

shower. So she's dropping Brian and me off at 7 .30 for a 7 .40 farmer brown.

I need to do the 7 .50 for Steve Depp. so I can get Brian all settled.

Then catch up with you guys.

I told her it was PG -13.

She's still all freaked out, thinks it's going to be too violent, and... Yeah, I

totally agree.

We see worse things on the 6 o 'clock news.

Okay, perfect.

So I'll see you guys outside at 750 University of Death. Okay, bye.

University of Death?

You're supposed to see Farmer Brown with me. Remember?

Look, I'll catch you in, I'll catch you settled.

Yeah, right, then ditch me.

I don't think you're going to even notice.

What if it turns into, like, Waldorf's Revenge, where that, you know, criminal

guy jumps into the theater and grabs that innocent kid hostage?

That won't happen, Brian.

Or what if it's, like, in Flood? No, please start something up, but I'm not

trapped.

Or what if I pay you five bucks and take you to see Power Penguins for Olympic

Glory next weekend?

Ten bucks and two movies.

Ten bucks, Power Penguins, and a large candy of your choice.

Let me think about it.

Hmm, let me think about what? Oh, whether he, um, whether he wants to wash

dry the dishes.

Mm -hmm.

Good evening.

Enjoy the show.

Enjoy the show, sir. Enjoy the show. Hello, Mrs. Johnson.

I love your earrings.

Hello, gentlemen. How are you? Hey, Movie Macy.

Rippin' tux.

Enjoy the show.

Looking sharp there, Petey.

What are you doing here, Holly? We heard Caitlin and Lisa were going to be

around tonight.

What movie did you get them passes for?

Forget, okay?

I'm busy.

Why does that dog make it so easy for me to rattle his cage?

My whole life, Donnie Holly's been like some dark shadow in school, sports,

girls. If I want it, he wants it.

He's the one who usually gets it.

Well, does he know that you like Caitlyn, then?

You think it's just a coincidence he showed up tonight?

Now, I'll be working my buns off, peel Hunter down, pull on some of his gross

charm.

I hate Donnie. You know, I never worked a day in his life. All the girls think

he's just so good -looking.

He has a totally perfect life.

But you are so way sweeter, doll.

Since when does that count for anything?

Now, girls like Caitlyn want guys with...

Decent cars, money to spend on dates.

I'm earning cash just to compete.

Hey,

Zeke,

what's the deal? Shouldn't Sean open up another line? There's nobody to man it,

man. It's crazy.

I'm working my fingers off here.

Whoa, folks, settle down.

Look, everybody's going to make it inside, all right?

Eventually.

Youngshot, when can I expect you to respond to my proposal about putting a

organ... Not now, Mason. I'm swamped, okay?

How's it going, men?

You've got to get us some help, boss. It's weak.

Am I Houdini? Am I supposed to pull an employee out of my hat?

Relax, Youngshot. I would gladly abandon my greater post to answer the desperate

call to arms to become a ticket taker. There's only one problem, Mason.

You don't work here, okay?

Now you tell them. A man in crisis.

should not be burdened by irrelevant details.

So you'd stand here and take tickets even if I can't pay you?

Sean, movies are not about commerce, my friend.

Movies are about magic.

Is that a yes or a no?

If he wants to do it, Sean, let him.

Not since I was made head usher at the solemn ghetto sand palace of Burlesque

has my heart been filled with such pride.

In the name of the great Cecil B. DeMille, I will not let you down.

Whatever. Just stand there, hand half the ticket back, and keep the people

moving. Watch him.

Oh, Niedermeyer will not be happy until I have a nervous breakdown.

Hey, Mason. Hello, son. Enjoy the show.

No, no, I keep this. Thank you.

Make sure Pete knows you're here. Don't leave this theater without him. And

don't talk to strangers.

You have money in my pager number, right? Mom, we're going to see a movie

cracking the Atlantic in a canoe.

Trust them, Pocahontas.

Hey, they've got this wired.

Hey, look, George gets it.

Besides, Mom, it's not even dark yet. Plus, since they hired those cinema

sitters, we couldn't get away with anything even if we wanted to. Well,

Love you guys.

I love you too.

Remember, no headlock, no wedlock.

Go on, get out of here. And no corp school.

I'm guessing she means University of Death.

So, what was that all about?

Nothing. They are genuinely crazy about you, George, and you have no idea how

flattered you should be.

We appreciate your opinion, Guy. We just don't happen to care.

Considering the steep cost of a ticket, friend, I am simply hoping to maximize

the pleasure of your movie -going experience by telling you that the film

selected is what we in the industry commonly refer to...

as a stinker.

Nathan, they don't want to hear your opinion, all right? You're backing the

lines up. It's next Thursday.

Be that as it may, my boy, cinema is sacred. Each experience should transport

to a world worthy of our time and hard -earned cash.

Listen, why don't you just take our tickets and let us in, buddy?

So what happened?

If we're lucky, we might get to see a riot.

Movie Mason's a ticket taker, but he's not letting people into movies he

like. DCP?

No, but something's up, though. Sid's got Mason working. Who knows what's

on? Glimpses of Genevieve has been nominated for more awards than all five

last year's Oscar nominees. You owe it to yourself to give it a chance.

You want to give this a chance?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, sir, please, if you could just settle down here. Well, tell

this guy to cut with the critic act and let us into our movie. I'm only

attempting to impart to him that the magic of the movies.

is a treasure not to be taken lightly.

Mason, here, now.

I,

sir, do not appreciate

being spoken to as if I were a canine.

Well, I just heard from Mr. Niedermeyer, who says that you are an insurance

liability waiting to happen, and he wants you out of here immediately.

This is an outrage!

Save it for someone who cares.

Go. You can't treat Movie Mason like this. He's a legend.

Yeah. Not to me.

Look, I'm under enough pressure tonight, old -timer, so scram, or I'll call the

police.

Enjoy your show.

Tell my theater that even when I'm not here... Its magic is never far from my

heart.

Someday he'll have to explain to me how people like you and Mason can get so

worked up about movies.

Maybe it's because we have fun, Mr. Assistant Manager.

Something you obviously can't relate to.

Why? Because I'd rather earn a few bucks than sit in a dark theater daydreaming?

No, because you're so locked into achievement mode. You're like the oldest

living teenager I know.

Can I get some bin candy?

Yeah.

You and Brian get into your show and behave, okay? We're way too shorthanded.

We've got this huge premiere.

Niedermeyer calls every five seconds to say that everything has to be totally...

Perfect.

You know, if you want an impressor, it's probably better not to drool. I know.

I'm trying to, but Mom won't let me.

or he'll go nuts.

Why can't I just, you know, put it down and run?

Hey, what's the problem, little Pete?

This came off, but it's not my fault. I was just... No biggie, kid.

All you gotta do is just pop it back on.

What did you do, kid? I didn't do it, Donnie. You did.

I barely touched it.

Go and I'll be right there. I've got to get the fry guy set up.

You make it sound like I'm a beach chair.

I'll stand by for you.

At our refreshment center, you'll find a large variety of goodies

to satisfy your hunger, your thirst, or your sweet tooth.

So hurry, hurry, hurry.

Visit our refreshment center now.

Okay, now remember, if Pete comes into check on us, just say I'm in the ladies

room, okay?

If he comes back a second time, then just...

You know, make up another excuse.

What if he goes looking for you?

That's my problem.

Look, if you want your ten bucks in a free movie, you better not blow this for

me, okay?

Okay. Happy nightmares.

Sure you're okay with this?

No offense, but I can see you anytime.

I'm here to see a movie.

Okay, you're going to stay here, right, no matter what? You're going to be in

this exact spot when I get back, right?

The Grand Megaflex invites you to refrain from using cell phones and

You know, if Madison actually met, this is the only movie star that's going to

be here tonight.

I heard you know. What's his name from Laughlin's dreams coming to?

Jacob Johnson.

You mean Jacob Johnson's going to be here? That's what my sources tell me.

And I don't mean to brag, but since I'm the assistant manager, I might be able

to introduce you to him. I don't know if I could handle it.

How raw would that be to, like...

touch Jacob Johnson's hand.

Could we maybe get a picture with him? If that's what you want, it's my job to

make it happen.

I didn't know he had so much power around here.

Are you kidding?

By the time I'm 18, I'll probably be running this place.

And since they just named a new general manager, I might even get a promotion

tonight. Will you still get to wear your little red bow tie?

Are you making fun of my bow tie?

No. I love it.

I totally do.

The scary thing is...

She's serious.

Here.

Guard it with your life.

Sorry to bust up your little party here, Petey, but Hillary and Lacey are

looking for you.

Something about a popcorn emergency?

We put the exact amount in for one batch like we always do, but it just keeps

going and going and going.

Look at this, hon. Why don't you just shut it off?

We flipped the switch like 50 times, but it didn't do anything. Why don't you

just try this?

Huh?

Why didn't we think of that?

Better clean this up.

I'll get the broom and dustpan.

Excuse me, my dear.

I'm not a complainer by nature, but you really must come inside and look at

this. When we paid to see Glimpses of Genevieve, we had no idea that the title

would be so literal.

He's not in there. What about Pete?

I think he's in Theater 17 checking on his little brother.

875.

What's going on now?

How long does it take to go to the bathroom?

When you're a girl, forever.

You're okay here, right?

I want you to promise me you'll stay right here.

Oh.

Folks, excuse me.

If I could have your attention, I'm Pete Riley, the assistant manager here.

What, do you want a medal?

We're hoping to have this problem with the projector fixed soon.

Um, we're gonna start your movie over, or if you'd rather get your money back,

you can see me in the lobby for a full refund or a return pass.

Thanks a lot.

Thanks.

This isn't an accident, you know.

It's sabotage, exactly like in Judson's Revenge. I thought I told you to stay in

your seat.

I'm just trying to help, okay?

See, I'm betting that the Phantom of the Megaplex doesn't like you bringing a

big Hollywood party into his home. Brian, hey, don't start with me, okay?

have 26 screens here. Things are always going wrong. Yeah, but all in one night?

I mean, come on.

The candy bin crashing down, and now this focus thing?

Yeah, and you don't even know about the maniac popcorn machine.

See? In Judson's Revenge, the guy, Kevin Eastman, see what happens is he thinks

he's been cheated by this big power company, but no one listens to him. All

right, enough.

Okay, get back to Farmer Brown now.

Okay, but I'm telling you.

This is so crazy.

It's like every step we take, somebody's watching us.

It's a horror movie.

It's so unbelievably cute.

I dare you to scream out of Phil Dalton at the top of your lungs.

Why don't you?

Are you insane?

Never dare to do anything.

She won't do it.

I'm so kicked out of here.

Let's just go. No, no.

My name is Karen Riley, and I love Bill Dalton.

I can't believe you did that.

Pipe down back there.

Time to go check on Brian.

I turned my back for one second.

I don't get it.

Where did everything go?

Is something wrong, dear?

No, no, no, no.

When I was in the bathroom, I guess my brother had to go.

He'll be back.

Caroline?

Caroline, honey?

Why?

Why? I begged you to stay put.

Uh, he's, uh, he's, he's outside doing, um, uh, right, premiere stuff.

Uh, yes, sir.

The minute he comes in, I'll have him call you.

This is way against operating procedure.

Where is Sean?

Niedermeyer's going to blow a motherboard if he doesn't hear from him.

it's scary. Sean's going to disappear soon.

Sean wouldn't disappear ever.

Running this place is his life.

What if the Phantom of the Megaplex got him? Don't even joke, okay, hon?

I'm afraid he'll suck your blood.

Wanna hear the latest?

The second peak of the progesterone fix in theater 23 has a whole new disaster

in 21.

Come on, Lacey.

Go find Sean.

And now, cut to black, our most popular movie has the lights going berserk. And

I don't know how to stop it.

I mean, all I know is that the lights are tied into the same computer program

the projection system.

Why isn't Merle up here?

Merle the projectionist?

But he's the only one who showed up here tonight.

How's he supposed to be in all three booths at once?

He's probably in Westport getting a mushroom mounting done for the 815.

Well, go grab him. Our town is in emergency.

All right.

How can a whole computer program go into spontaneous meltdown?

Like I said before, sabotage.

How did you get up here?

I was in Indian Guides, remember?

I slipped in when Mark slipped out.

I'm only trying to help, okay, Pete?

Okay, well, don't, okay?

I have too much to deal with already.

Man, it's so cool in here.

Let me guess.

Karen has absolutely no clue where you are. Who cares?

I'm telling you, you need me to help you solve this. You do.

There's nothing to solve, Brian.

Oh, yeah?

How come nobody in this whole place can find Sean?

Sean still missing?

This is really getting weird. Where could he be?

I heard once there was this multiplex in, like, Oregon or Michigan or one of

those places.

And every Saturday night for two months, a different guy...

somebody? Oh, uh, it's my little brother.

You mean you still haven't found him? No, no, no, he came back, but now he's

gone again.

Oh.

What's his name?

Brian, Brian Riley.

If Brian Riley is present, please finish your business promptly and report to

your sister at once.

Now, when he emerges, I want you two to get into your seats and stay put.

rocket holders confusing the computer.

No stripped brain.

No tripped trees.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Ladders and blades.

Okay, so I don't have as much to do around here since we wanted the full

automation. Somehow the powers that be think that's progress.

Who am I to argue?

But while I'm underpaid and underappreciated...

I'm still numero uno at figuring out how and why things go wrong.

Okay, Master Merle.

Enlighten me.

Well, I think the problem here, my friend, is someone's deliberate attempt

ruin our big night. Thank you. I've only been trying to tell him that for the

last hour.

Can we straighten it out?

If I can't, nobody can, but it's going to take a few minutes.

Okay, well, you've got everything under control here. I'm going to head

downstairs to prevent a riot.

will be starting over momentarily. If you'd rather leave now, refunds can be

obtained in the main lobby from my senior manager, Sean McGibbon. If anyone

find him.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

Good job.

This is getting way totally spooky.

Harry and I look everywhere for Sean. We absolutely can't find him. And then...

I'm so not kidding. We both saw him. Why were you guys admitting?

It's the Phantom of the Megaplex.

And neither am I, or he keeps calling for Sean. Plus, you know the fog machine

he had delivered so he'd be going off when the guests arrived for the

Now it's this beard.

And nobody's even gotten the velvet ropes for the red carpet out of the

downstairs locker yet.

Okay, Brian, I need you.

About time you admitted it.

Yeah.

When I find that little brother, I'm going to pound him, I swear.

And thanks to him, I've got the cinemas that are turning into my own personal

stalker. You want to bet the bride guy's messing with you on purpose?

Shh.

Shh.

I'm not the one who's talking.

You are now.

Gotta go find Brian.

You've been messing the whole movie.

My first magic.

She didn't want me to see this movie.

I would not.

the answer if you took the tape off.

I... Shut up!

What happened?

I don't have a clue. I came down here to get these ropes. Someone shoved me from

behind, held me down, tied my hands, put tape over my mouth before I saw a

thing.

It's not that I didn't want to answer your calls. I was simply tied up.

You and Lamonica are having dinner with who, sir?

I am impressed.

How soon?

No, no. Please, don't rush.

Really, stay.

Have a nice long dessert. We'll have everything in order for you when you

arrive.

60 minutes. Do you hear me? Yes. In one short hour, Niedermeyer will arrive with

that waste of sweat Lamonica and Tyler Jessamine. Yes.

of Midnight Mayhem. We must find out who was causing this chaos and make it

stop. All right?

Pete, Ricky, inside.

Someone take Half -Pint back to his show and please check all theaters for any

signs of trouble.

Where is your bow tie?

Uh, I'll go get it.

Go! Go, go, go!

There you are, finally!

Yeah, nice job of watching, Ryan.

Oh, great.

All right, get to the top and do it.

Okay.

Come on.

Do you see what I'm up against tonight?

Yeah, fighting the phantom.

Look, either you two get into your seats in Farmer Brown and stay there, or I'm

running you home right now. I'm totally serious.

Wow, there's a big shock.

You being serious?

Catch me, I'm about to faint.

No way, Brian. We're not going to solve what's going on here.

Why not?

What did Dad always say, huh?

If you pay attention, the movies can teach you about life.

How is that relevant?

Don't you get what this guy's doing?

In glimpses of Genevieve, the projector was going nuts.

Glimpses, see?

In Cut to Black, the lights were going on and off.

The title's much the trouble.

Exactly. So what you and me need to do is figure out...

This joint's suddenly gone belly up.

Well, so much for a perfect evening.

It's okay.

George, do you see those plants hanging over there?

They seem perfectly content, don't they?

Sure. They look great.

So it wouldn't really make any sense to uproot them, put them into a single pot,

impose, you know, some kind of forest blending thing.

You could do that, but... If it got all messed up, don't you run the risk of

winning them both?

I mean, roots get entangled and stems get twisted and... Yeah. It's not just

plants that you have to think about.

What about the buds?

I mean, how would they react to this turf invasion?

Don't get me wrong.

It's not that I'm afraid of...

We party.

I just think you have to take it slow and examine every angle.

I agree.

I agree.

Personally, I've never been comfortable trying anything that I wasn't sure I

could succeed at.

Maybe all we can do is trust that if and when the time is right, we'll both know

it.

It's not a number I recognize.

Oh, here.

Mom?

Pete! Where are you?

The lobby paid for. Is anything wrong?

No, no, everything's fine.

Sort of.

Um...

Mom, I really hate to do this, but Sean canceled all dinner breaks tonight since

we're so understaffed. And I thought I could bring the kids home, only we're so

not ready for the premiere.

You need me to pick up Brian and Karen.

It's no problem. I'll bring George with me.

Sorry.

No, I don't want them standing on the street. Tell them to sit on that blue

bench down in the lower lobby. I'll meet them there.

All right, thanks.

Another change of plans.

I'm sorry.

We've got to go pick up Brian and Karen.

You guys are never going to get to stay for the premiere anyway, so I don't know

what you're moaning about.

Besides, Mom and George are already on their way. Ma 'am, we don't even need to

find out who the Phantom is.

Riley, it's Movie Mason, our so -called Phantom.

Think about it. He's ticked at me for having tossed him out. He's never gotten

over the fact that he doesn't still own this place. What better revenge than

ruining our biggest night?

Mason would never do anything that mean.

Movies are like, like sacred to him. In my opinion, that crazy old coot is

capable of anything.

You don't know him at all. He's like the sweetest person that ever lived.

Why are these small people talking to me? Guys, will you just cool it? All

right, this doesn't concern you.

It doesn't. He's going to go around bad -mouthing Loopy Mason.

Shut up.

I am telling you, he is our phantom, and I want him found.

All right, I've got to go look for Mason. I want you two sitting on this

I don't want you doing anything until Mom gets here, okay?

Movie Mason never came back, right?

No.

Wait a sec. I saw him about an hour ago. He said he decided to forgive Sean and

bought a ticket to Merlin on Mars.

Oh,

it's Movie Mason's work schedule.

Why does he have a work schedule if he doesn't work here?

Pete says every week Mason types it all up.

And every week, Sean tosses it out.

Hmm. This is very interesting.

I'll be right back.

We're not supposed to leave this bench, remember?

Hillary, hi.

You know me, right? Brian, Pete's little brother? Brian, honey, how are you?

Wow, look how tall you're getting.

Movie mace.

When he takes his dinner break, where does he go?

Why are we doing this?

We're going to get in so much trouble.

I didn't say you had to follow me.

What was I supposed to do? Be sitting there all alone when Mom arrives?

Where is Brian?

Gee, I have no idea.

How grounded would I be?

Not to mention this is for employees only. I mean, how do you know about it?

came down here with Peter earlier.

And we're heading back down here now because?

Hillary said Mason always takes his dinner breaks in the basement.

When we show up, the unmasked phantom.

Ryan! Ryan!

I checked both Merlin on Mars shows. Mason's on neither one. I hate thinking

that sweet old man could be the phantom.

Oh, good.

They're gone.

At least something finally went the way it was supposed to.

I do this like I'll actually know something.

I'm an English teacher.

But a car breaks down and a guy automatically looks into the hood.

Okay, have I been macho long enough now to call the auto club?

Yes, and then I'll call the theater and give the kids a heads up.

I hate this. We shouldn't be here. We should be upstairs waiting for Mom.

What if we find the guy who got trapped in here when they blew up the original

theater?

What's that?

I don't like this.

I don't like this at all. This is really scary.

Come on.

Just go back.

make sure.

Come on, Brian, let's get out of here, please. Not until I know where this

Oh,

this is so frustrating.

I call the theater and all I get is this pre -recorded laundry list of options,

none of which lead to a human being. I call the box office and all I get is

showtimes. Wait a sec.

Does your beeper have a callback function?

If Pete called from the lobby earlier, the number should still be in memory.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

city morgue.

Hello?

On the bench?

Oh, the blue bench.

Um, hold on, I'll check.

Oh, my name.

I'm Mark Jeffries.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Riley.

No, I haven't seen Pete.

You want me to find out where he is?

Okay,

could you hold on?

Okay, hold on.

Maybe nobody knows about it.

Man, some of this old stuff must be worth a fortune.

All right.

Are you totally 100 % positive Mason can't possibly be the Phantom?

Of course.

Not even a question.

Okay. Then what about this?

Hello, children.

Moby Mason?

Most sorry I startled you.

I see you've discovered my little hideaway.

You left the light on. Well, that's what happens with old age.

Liver spots come.

Mind goes.

Do you know what's been going on around here tonight?

Crazy projectors, flashing lights, indoor tornadoes.

It's not you, is it?

You're not the Phantom of the Megaplex, right?

Children.

Children.

Children.

When we arrive in this world, magic is all around us. You simply have to see a

baby discover a butterfly or a toddler splash in the bath for the first time.

Yet, as years pass,

simple pleasures aren't quite so simple to find.

Myths and legends fall away.

Santa's secrets are revealed. Card tricks lose their fascination.

True wonder is harder to come by, but there's always

magic at the movies.

Pirate ships, bicycles that fly, angels earn their wings,

beautiful women marry handsome men, and we all learn

there's no place

Like home.

To destroy that magic, to shatter those moments, to me is a sin so grave as to

be almost incomprehensible.

If there truly is a phantom, my young friends, I assure you,

it most definitely is not me.

Has anyone seen Caitlin? She's supposed to be hanging around for the premiere,

but I can't find her.

I don't know if this is a sick joke or what, but Sean's gone again.

And Niedermeyer just called again. They should cancel this premiere.

Seriously. I mean, once I heard... Period.

All right, this is the biggest thing that's ever happened to the Grand. No

going to cancel it.

How are we doing on clearing out the place? You mean updating the theaters?

Yeah. Well, lower level's done. This level, Floodgate ,'s got ten minutes

Marshall Mountain gets out at 11 .15.

Lacey's checking the rest. All right, well, go check the bathrooms. All right.

Excuse me, children.

Excuse me, will one of you please tell me where I might find your manager, Sean

McGibbon?

Uh, Sean?

Well, um, Sean could be just about anywhere right now. May I help you? I'm

assistant manager, Pete Riley.

And I child amidst Tori Hicks, perhaps you've heard of me.

Perhaps not. In any case, I have Miss Madison Ashley Metz.

Mr. Jacob Johnson, numerous other very unhappy clients outside in their

limousines, begging to know when we will be getting this painfully amateur show

on the road.

Soon. Yeah, really soon, we promise.

Oh, it had better be soon.

My boy, if I don't receive a personal welcome at my limousine from your, uh,

Sean McGibbon, I will be taking all of my clients back to L .A. before you can

say, heads will roll!

Pleasure meeting you, darling.

Do.

Give your manager my message.

You

guys, Pete,

hurry! Donnie Holly's about to pound the life out of Ricky because Donnie pulled

the laser sword out of the meteor. And now he wants his free movie passes, but

nobody can find Sean. And Ricky's telling Donnie that... You'll get your

passes, but I can't give them to you tonight.

Then let me stay for the premiere.

She gets to stay.

She and Lisa have tickets.

We're all booked out. There are no more seats.

So I'll stand.

Hello, fire code regulations. Ever heard of them? We overbook and get totally

shut down. They don't care how many Hollywood stars are here. They'll cancel

whole event. How about you leave and I'll stay? What are you doing, Donnie?

You're running a contest.

I won the contest and I want my prize.

You'll get your prize tomorrow, but right now you gotta leave.

Make me.

I've got to deal with this, Donnie.

Then, I'll be back to personally toss you out.

If you would just listen to me, I am very, very sorry the

fire sprinklers malfunctioned.

You're welcome to fill out complaints or refund forms, but please try and

understand, I have to clear the lobby.

We have a special event starting in a half an hour, and I need your full

cooperation.

Clark, take over.

You mean me?

Folks, I'm really, really sorry.

You're going to have to clear, please. We have this really, really big premiere

starting. What are you doing back?

Back? We never left.

What happened to Mom?

We were hoping you'd tell us.

She hasn't shown up yet?

No, but the good news is we've ID'd the Phantom.

It's Merle.

Why would Merle be the Phantom?

Come on.

We'll show you.

set up in the projection booth about being underappreciated, everything's too

computerized, all that junk?

Uh -huh. Come on, hurry, right this way.

Well, Karen and me came in here looking for you, and... What happened in the

emergency running life along the floor? Wait.

Mystery.

Madness.

Mayhem.

Midnight mayhem. It started as a movie, but now... This thing,

this trailer, it's been running over and over in here. Who else... But Merle

could rig up something like this. Who else but him could do any of it? Brian's

lights and protectors are tied to the computers up there. Yeah, but Merle's

going to risk his job to do something stupid like this. He's been here

Maybe that's the problem.

Maybe he finally wants to be appreciated and recognized.

Like Willie Gaines in The Last Woodcarver. Maybe you two guys have seen

many movies.

On the other hand, I don't think it would hurt to check Merle out.

Excuse me?

I'm really sorry, Merle. My slightly demented little brother has himself

convinced you're the Phantom of the Megaplex.

Hey, catch this.

He's still got that creepy trailer playing down there.

Uh, no.

Actually, I'm working my buns off trying to shut the darn thing down.

What's the problem? I thought you remastered all this stuff. Brian, you're

really rude. Are we cool with this? The fact is, I don't know how this trailer

got onto my reels, and I can't figure out how it's programmed to keep

A likely story.

Listen, kid, if you don't back off and give me a chance to source this out,

we're not going to have a premiere because I won't be able to run the

Which conveniently makes you look like a big hero to get it all fixed in time.

Brian!

Come on, we got our guy right here.

Why don't you two want to do anything about it? Brian?

No, listen to me. Brian!

Great job.

Nobody's home.

I don't see you coming up with any brilliant answers.

All right, I surrender.

Maybe you guys, with all your movie knowledge, do know more about this than

do. So how are we going to find out what the Phantom really is?

Okay, we need to apply cinematic logic.

Is anybody around this place hooked up to the Internet?

It's a major megaplex about to host a major premiere.

He said he'll be done in five minutes. George, you don't understand. I'm never

late. Those kids must think I'm in a ditch somewhere.

If they were worried, wouldn't they have beeped you?

You're right. They must be dead. Why else wouldn't I have heard from them by

now?

I'm really trying to follow this.

You need to use Sean's computer. Why?

Listen, everything the Phantom's done so far tonight had to do with the movies

playing in the theater seat at 10.

Now, if we want to know what he's got planned for the premiere, we've got to

find out the... A lot of midnight mayhem. Okay, nobody knows that. That's

whole deal.

I mean, they've been keeping the story top secret.

Isn't he cute when he's naive?

Ever heard of spoiler sites on the Internet?

Let me just tell you. A movie geek is paradise.

Every secret Hollywood has, these guys know.

Whoa!

Don't you wish all this creepiness was necessarily in, sweetie?

The way you stress him not knowing who's doing it.

What the heck was that?

It came from in there.

Hello?

It's like anybody in there.

Come on, we'll call the police.

My mom would so ground me. I didn't even want to stay. I swear, it was all

April's idea.

Relax, we were only trying to crash a premiere.

You and everybody else in town.

But without a ticket, no go.

Told you it would.

I came up to call Niedermeyer. I was jumped from behind again. I was

blindfolded, handcuffed, and hung on the door like a bag of dry cleaning.

Well, if the Phantom's not Movie Mason and it's not Merle, then we're running

out of suspects.

Here you all are. Great.

Niedermeyer's limo's on the approach.

Are we clear? Yes, sir. Good. We are going to act as if everything is

perfect while praying that it actually will be.

This way.

Oh, Mr.

Niedermeyer. Welcome, welcome, welcome, sir. How glorious to have you here this

evening along with your entourage.

And Mr. Tyler Jessamine, I, um...

I have not missed a single one of your films, sir.

Crowcatchers, Dead and Gone, classics, classics.

Hello, LaMonica.

Are you as thrilled about this evening as we are, sir?

All preparations proceeding apace, McGreevy?

McGibbon, sir, and yes, they are. We could not possibly have it more under

control.

Lacey?

Lacey, no!

That should be really easy for our phantom to pull off.

Well, you know he's going to try something like it. Come on. Let's go and

Wait your turn.

Sorry, sir.

All right, McCarthy.

McGibbon, since you don't have any answers as to why our balloons became

balloons, Perhaps you can answer this.

Who told you to remove the incredibly expensive mayhem monster from my roof?

I didn't remove it, sir.

It's up there still, exactly the way you wanted it to be. And I'm telling you

that ten minutes ago when I came in, it wasn't there.

Pardon me.

Excuse me.

Wolfgang, I am simply stopping in to say goodbye.

Miss Tori Hicks.

The woman who brought the tinsel to Tinseltown. Of course, you know Tyler

and... Yes. Goodbye. What do you mean, goodbye?

Just because I call my people cattle does not mean they can be treated as

We've been outside, cooling our heels in the limos for three quarters of an

hour. Are you opening these doors or aren't you?

All right, McGreevy. You heard Miss Hicks. Open those doors now.

I'll see if I can find out what happened to that monster.

Hooray for Hollywood

Hooray

for Hollywood Hooray for Hollywood Hooray for Hollywood Hooray for

Entertaining your neglected guests.

Listen here, you freak show. I could have sworn I told you to keep away from

here this evening.

Is there a problem?

Stay out of this, lady.

I introduce my friend to you, Miss Madison Ashley Metz.

Oh.

You... You two... What, you know each other? This is her hometown.

She virtually grew up in this theater. In fact, Movie Mason was the very first

one who encouraged me to become an actress.

Oh.

Well, I, uh... I... If you'd be a sweetie and open the doors, my escort...

and I are more than ready to go in and take our seats.

I know that my timing couldn't be worse.

I'm Pete Brightly's mom, and I don't want to get in to see the premiere. I

really don't. I just desperately need to find my kids.

found out the midnight mayhem climax.

Well, guess what? Now the giant monster balloon, the one from the roof, it's

gone, and nobody can find the roof level key.

Wait a minute.

and it's bigger than a house.

Where would you hide it?

What would you do with it?

Yeah, well, they told they had to let the air out of it to get it down from

here. You know, guys, I'm really sorry I haven't taken your opinions more

seriously than that.

Tonight? You never do.

Okay. Well, maybe I've just been so wrapped up with work and stuff that I

haven't bothered to notice that you two are growing up to be... Incredibly

intelligent.

Amazingly good -looking.

Pretty impressive team.

Hate to say this, but I probably could learn a few things from hanging out with

you guys.

Well, we're the funnest people you know.

Ah, come here.

Katie Segal, I've seen LeVar Burton, but I haven't spotted a single one of my

own kids.

Oh, wait, there's somebody who might be able to help.

Hillary.

Hillary. Hi.

Julie Riley, Pete's mom.

How are you, Mrs. R? I didn't know you were coming tonight.

Yeah, well, neither did I. Listen, I'm looking for Pete's little brother and

sister. You wouldn't happen to know where they might be.

The way things have been going around here tonight, I couldn't even be candy

-cast.

Okay. Okay.

We have to shuffle an inch at a time till one of us hits that, uh, the pipe

the valve.

How do we know we don't shuffle right off the roof?

Don't worry.

There are guardrails.

Okay, I get that we're looking for this valve.

Now explain to me what happens once we find it.

What? You think you two are the only movie fucks?

This is like James Raymond in Huey's Cove. Oh, yeah, exactly.

He's trapped in the fisherman's net, but gets himself to the coral reef. And

uses it to open the net.

Okay, we've got to move right to get to the pipe. All right? Over, over, over.

Wait a minute.

Where is it? Where's the valve? Brian, get your elbow out of the... Oh, wait.

I found the valve.

Okay, guys.

We're going to jump right now.

Okay.

everybody take a seat.

I would like to welcome you to what I know will be an enjoyable and exciting

event. Since we're all anxious to start, let me introduce the director of our

film, Mr. Tyler Jessiman.

Let the men.

If you're willing to take advice from an old -timer, we might just be able to

save the day.

It won't come out, Mason.

Keep at it, lad.

Riley, what are you doing?

I'm trying to pull this thing out. But you know that only happens every 10 ,000

tugs. That stupid Donnie Holly had it out an hour ago.

Yeah, well, you can keep pulling until your arms fall off. Or you can do this.

Thanks,

bro. Mason, let's go.

I intend to ensure that your life becomes as miserable as you've made mine

tonight. Not only are you fired and banned from these premises for life, but

I'll ensure that you never again work in any theater in any city in this state.

Is that clear, McNall?

MacGibbon.

MacGibbon! For once in your life, get it right! My name is Ding Sean MacGibbon,

and I did all of this tonight to... just so you would finally notice me.

But you don't care.

You've never cared.

You think LaMonica will be a better GM than I will?

So be it. But don't come crying to me when you find out that you're wrong.

Mr. McGillis.

You know what I was saying up on the roof about lightening up a little?

That's a good thing, right?

Yes.

I'm 17, not 70.

I mean, aren't I supposed to be enjoying myself?

Totally. And I know the perfect way for you to start.

You can talk Mom into letting Karen and me stay for the premiere.

Will you please?

Please.

Please. Please.

I'm telling you, it'll write itself.

Phantom of the Megaplex.

The Sean McGiven story.

You'll come to LA.

We'll be partners.

You mean it?

Of course I do.

Now, do me a favor, partner. Run and fetch me a hot cup of coffee, two

I'll meet you in the shop.

I love you.

Love you.

All we need now is a four -star Hollywood ending.

All right.

How about this?

Just because a plant.

It's healthy, alone in its pot.

That doesn't mean it's entirely happy.

Julie, if you'll have me, I would really love to become a part of this

amazing family.

I... Unfortunately, I don't have a ring yet.

Pardon me, sir, may I offer you this loaner?

I have a lot of props around, just in case of emergencies.

Julie, will you marry me?

With Sean gone and LaMonica moving up, I'm going to need a new senior manager.

Money, money.

Longer hours. What do you say?

Absolutely, sir. I'd be honored.

But, uh... I'm afraid I have to turn you down.

Excuse me? I'm sorry.

I guess what I figured out tonight is that I need to spend more time having a

life.

In fact, Mr. Niedermeyer, I'd, uh, I'd really like the rest of the night off.

I think I deserve it.

Oh, you do, do you?

Good.

Because I think so, too.

Here, take your girl out to a lovely breakfast after the picture.

On me.

You saved my skin tonight, Riley. I appreciate it.

All right, everybody, let's go in and enjoy the show.

Monica, yes, we're going to use theater, too. I want you to run up to the

projection booth and tell Merle. Okay.

Not that I'm in over my head here, but where the devil is the projection booth?

Good night to your brother. It's time to hit the road.

Um, actually, Mom, I was thinking it might be really nice if you let Brian

Karen stay for the premiere.

I know it's late, but it's summer. I mean, tomorrow they can sleep in as long

they need to.

Besides, if it wasn't for their detective work, we probably wouldn't

premiere. What do you say?

Please? Yeah, come on, Mom, please.

We're not afraid they're going to cramp your style.

Are you kidding? We're teaching him style.

Oh.

Sad but true.

Admit it, Mom.

We all really need to be together tonight. And what better place for us

movies?

He does have a point, huh?

All right, all right, all right.

Can you stay?

Yes. Come on. Let's go.

Enjoy the show, sir.

You enjoy the show.

Enjoy the show.

Enjoy the show.

You know, as long as I've been around this place, I never really believed in

Phantom of the Megaplex.

Now the Werewolf of the Megaplex.

That's a different story entirely.