All language subtitles for South.Park.S18E09.HDTV.x264-KILLERS

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,487 --> 00:00:07,349 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 2 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,365 There you are, Kyle. 3 00:00:40,366 --> 00:00:41,824 I was gonna see if you and brother 4 00:00:41,825 --> 00:00:43,339 wanted to go down to the bowling alley. 5 00:00:43,340 --> 00:00:44,128 No, no, dad, please. 6 00:00:44,129 --> 00:00:46,057 I just got Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare." 7 00:00:46,058 --> 00:00:47,279 Me and Ike are gonna play it together. 8 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,447 It's your day off. 9 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:51,109 You boys really want to spend it inside in front of the TV? 10 00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:53,260 Please, dad, I've been looking forward to this all week! 11 00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:54,696 And it's me and Ike's bonding time. 12 00:00:54,697 --> 00:00:56,239 Really. This is good for our relationship. 13 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,509 All right. 14 00:00:57,510 --> 00:00:59,780 I swear I'll never understand you kids these days. 15 00:00:59,781 --> 00:01:01,302 Yes! 16 00:01:05,576 --> 00:01:06,940 Hey, Ike! 17 00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,723 Look what I got... the new "Call of Duty"! 18 00:01:08,724 --> 00:01:10,660 You want to go downstairs and play? 19 00:01:12,575 --> 00:01:13,977 Meh. 20 00:01:16,115 --> 00:01:17,584 "Meh"? 21 00:01:17,585 --> 00:01:19,455 Ike, we have the whole day to play Xbox. 22 00:01:19,456 --> 00:01:20,690 Mom and dad are leaving! 23 00:01:20,691 --> 00:01:23,629 Maybe later, 'Kay? 24 00:01:23,630 --> 00:01:25,032 What are you watching? 25 00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:27,436 - How's it going, bros? - My name's Pewdiepie. 26 00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:29,556 We're playing "Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare." 27 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:31,143 Here we go. 28 00:01:31,144 --> 00:01:33,114 Ah! People are shooting at me, bros! 29 00:01:33,115 --> 00:01:34,661 You're watching someone play "Call of Duty" 30 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:35,628 and talk about it? 31 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,299 Pewdiepie! 32 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,603 There's lots of bullets, and I got to run! 33 00:01:39,604 --> 00:01:40,982 Run for the bunker! 34 00:01:40,983 --> 00:01:42,519 Ahhhhhh! 35 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:44,835 But, Ike, we can go play the game downstairs. 36 00:01:44,836 --> 00:01:45,757 Isn't that better 37 00:01:45,758 --> 00:01:47,467 than watching some guy on YouTube playing it? 38 00:01:47,468 --> 00:01:48,628 All right, I hope that's enough. 39 00:01:48,629 --> 00:01:49,830 Meh. 40 00:01:49,831 --> 00:01:50,832 Uh, like I said, um... 41 00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:52,169 Look at this. Look at this. 42 00:01:52,170 --> 00:01:53,905 Oh, gigrrig! 43 00:01:58,088 --> 00:02:00,024 Dude, I'm telling you, it's crazy. 44 00:02:00,025 --> 00:02:01,141 All my little brother wants to do 45 00:02:01,142 --> 00:02:03,965 is sit on YouTube watching this Pewdiepie play video games. 46 00:02:03,966 --> 00:02:06,036 I swear I don't understand kids these days. 47 00:02:06,037 --> 00:02:08,140 What's a Pewdiepie do? Google him! 48 00:02:08,141 --> 00:02:09,293 He's this guy from Sweden 49 00:02:09,294 --> 00:02:11,430 who has over 30 million YouTube subscribers. 50 00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:12,478 We didn't even know, 51 00:02:12,479 --> 00:02:14,153 but he's a bigger celebrity to kids than anyone. 52 00:02:14,154 --> 00:02:15,657 It's just seems so lame. 53 00:02:15,658 --> 00:02:17,795 He plays video games and makes millions of dollars, 54 00:02:17,796 --> 00:02:19,369 and it's lame how? 55 00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:22,241 Because... because that's not even entertainment. 56 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:25,193 I mean, it's just... just rehashing shit, isn't it? 57 00:02:25,194 --> 00:02:27,061 It's like everything these kids are into these days, you know. 58 00:02:27,062 --> 00:02:29,065 It's just... rehashed shit. 59 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:31,236 This Saturday... 60 00:02:31,237 --> 00:02:32,171 At the Pepsi center... 61 00:02:32,172 --> 00:02:34,275 It's women of rock! 62 00:02:34,276 --> 00:02:35,211 Miley Cyrus. 63 00:02:35,212 --> 00:02:35,845 Iggy Azalea. 64 00:02:35,846 --> 00:02:37,115 Nicki Minaj. 65 00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,550 And Lorde! 66 00:02:38,551 --> 00:02:41,122 All on one stage... on one night! 67 00:02:41,123 --> 00:02:43,527 With a special appearance by Michael Jackson's hologram. 68 00:02:43,528 --> 00:02:44,795 ♪ Hee, hee ♪ 69 00:02:44,796 --> 00:02:46,165 Ticket proceeds help fight 70 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,735 the gluten crisis in West Africa. 71 00:02:47,736 --> 00:02:50,440 It's a night of pure... pure estrogen! 72 00:02:50,441 --> 00:02:52,611 Tickets on sale now. 73 00:02:55,184 --> 00:02:56,084 Yeah, it's me. 74 00:02:56,085 --> 00:02:58,396 I told you... I can't play the concert. 75 00:02:58,397 --> 00:03:00,700 Come on. This is a great lineup. 76 00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:03,339 Look, I do a lot of post-production enhancements 77 00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,610 to make my music sound the way it does, okay? 78 00:03:05,611 --> 00:03:07,580 I feel like if I play live, 79 00:03:07,581 --> 00:03:10,219 I'm gonna really disappoint people. 80 00:03:10,220 --> 00:03:11,588 I'm sorry, but the answer is no. 81 00:03:11,589 --> 00:03:14,160 I don't think you're really in a position 82 00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:15,595 to turn down this kind of gig. 83 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,566 What is that supposed to mean? 84 00:03:17,567 --> 00:03:21,173 I understand your son gave all your savings to Canada. 85 00:03:21,174 --> 00:03:24,412 Yes. Freemium gaming. 86 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,649 I'm sorry. 87 00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:28,454 Freemium gaming destroys lives. 88 00:03:28,455 --> 00:03:30,558 I lost my father to Candy Crush. 89 00:03:32,496 --> 00:03:33,865 You need this, Lorde, 90 00:03:33,866 --> 00:03:36,270 and the girls out there need you. 91 00:03:36,271 --> 00:03:38,808 You've got till tomorrow to think it over. 92 00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:42,882 I love Candy Crush. 93 00:03:42,883 --> 00:03:46,750 All I wanted was to play one level of "Call of Duty," 94 00:03:46,751 --> 00:03:48,188 and you know what Ike told me? 95 00:03:48,189 --> 00:03:50,526 He said the living room is for old people. 96 00:03:50,527 --> 00:03:52,429 I don't get it. The whole fun of "Call of Duty" 97 00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:53,929 is that you get to do the shooting. 98 00:03:53,930 --> 00:03:54,697 I know! 99 00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,407 But that doesn't matter anymore! 100 00:03:56,408 --> 00:03:58,044 These kids don't want to play the game! 101 00:03:58,045 --> 00:03:59,813 They just want to watch people on YouTube play it! 102 00:03:59,814 --> 00:04:01,918 And you know why? Commentary. 103 00:04:01,919 --> 00:04:03,654 - Mrphrmhrmphm? - Yeah. 104 00:04:03,655 --> 00:04:05,759 You used to sit in the living room with family and friends 105 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:06,928 to hear their commentary on things. 106 00:04:06,929 --> 00:04:07,749 Now you can get it 107 00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:09,386 with a little guy in a window on the screen, 108 00:04:09,387 --> 00:04:11,421 someone who just comments on stuff. 109 00:04:11,422 --> 00:04:14,160 I mean, really, who would even want to do that? 110 00:04:14,161 --> 00:04:16,722 Hey, brahs, what's going on? This is Cartmanbra! 111 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:18,353 Be sure to subscribe to my channel 112 00:04:18,354 --> 00:04:19,535 if you haven't already... 113 00:04:19,536 --> 00:04:21,498 'Cause subscribin' makes you feel good 114 00:04:21,499 --> 00:04:23,430 uh, so, today I'm gonna comment on "Call of Duty." 115 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,033 More specifically, I'm going to comment 116 00:04:25,034 --> 00:04:26,538 on my friends commenting on "Call of Duty," 117 00:04:26,539 --> 00:04:27,405 so let's start. 118 00:04:27,406 --> 00:04:30,586 All I wanted was to play one level of "Call of Duty," 119 00:04:30,587 --> 00:04:32,241 - and you know what Ike told me? - That's Kyle the Jew again, 120 00:04:32,242 --> 00:04:34,606 - talking about "Call of Duty" to Stan. - He said the living room is for old people. 121 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,193 I don't get it. The whole fun of "Call of Duty" 122 00:04:36,194 --> 00:04:37,301 is that you get to do the shooting. 123 00:04:37,302 --> 00:04:38,204 Stan is such a douchebag. 124 00:04:38,205 --> 00:04:39,826 - I know! But that doesn't matter anymore! - He just agrees with Kyle no matter what. 125 00:04:39,827 --> 00:04:40,895 These kids don't want to play the game! 126 00:04:40,896 --> 00:04:42,564 They just want to watch people on YouTube play it! 127 00:04:42,565 --> 00:04:44,369 - Mrphrmhrmphm? - There's Kenny commenting on "Call of Duty." 128 00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:45,872 Kenny! Kenny! Speak up! 129 00:04:45,873 --> 00:04:47,775 Speak through the hood, Kenny! 130 00:04:49,713 --> 00:04:51,483 Mom, Dad, Kelly and Stacy 131 00:04:51,484 --> 00:04:53,787 are going to the women of rock concert. 132 00:04:53,788 --> 00:04:55,256 Can I go with them? 133 00:04:55,257 --> 00:04:57,334 I don't know, Shelley. 134 00:04:57,335 --> 00:04:59,739 But, mom, Lorde is playing! 135 00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:02,310 You can't not let me go, or I'll hate you forever! 136 00:05:02,311 --> 00:05:04,514 Shelley, there's a good chance 137 00:05:04,515 --> 00:05:06,452 Lorde isn't going to show up. 138 00:05:06,453 --> 00:05:07,354 She will, too! 139 00:05:07,355 --> 00:05:08,890 She has to show up, 140 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,427 and if I don't get to see her, I'm gonna kill myself! 141 00:05:11,428 --> 00:05:12,764 And what if you go 142 00:05:12,765 --> 00:05:15,302 and Lorde doesn't sound so great in person? 143 00:05:15,303 --> 00:05:16,738 That doesn't matter, dad. 144 00:05:16,739 --> 00:05:18,776 We love Lorde because she's real! 145 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,347 God, you guys don't understand anything! 146 00:05:21,348 --> 00:05:25,455 You know... I think Lorde is going to play tomorrow. 147 00:05:25,456 --> 00:05:27,392 So, can I go or not?! 148 00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:28,962 If she means that much to you. 149 00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:31,534 Okay, yay. Thanks. Love you guys. 150 00:05:31,535 --> 00:05:32,903 So, you're doing it? 151 00:05:32,904 --> 00:05:34,640 How can I let her down? 152 00:05:34,641 --> 00:05:36,376 You mind finishing up here? 153 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:37,846 I think I should practice a little. 154 00:05:37,847 --> 00:05:39,883 Of course not. 155 00:05:39,884 --> 00:05:42,622 Anything to keep you away from cock magic. 156 00:05:42,623 --> 00:05:45,995 Uh, so, today I'm gonna comment on "Call of Duty." 157 00:05:45,996 --> 00:05:47,732 Hey, Ike, you want to come watch TV with me? 158 00:05:47,733 --> 00:05:49,068 More specifically, I'm going to comment 159 00:05:49,069 --> 00:05:50,671 on my friends commenting on "Call of Duty, 160 00:05:50,672 --> 00:05:52,407 so let's start. Oh, no. No, Ike. 161 00:05:52,408 --> 00:05:54,378 You are not watching him comment on things! 162 00:05:54,379 --> 00:05:56,014 All I wanted was to play... 163 00:05:56,015 --> 00:05:56,850 That's Kyle the Jew again, 164 00:05:56,851 --> 00:05:58,526 talking about "Call of Duty" to Stan. 165 00:05:58,527 --> 00:05:59,829 What the fuck? 166 00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:01,298 Stan is such a douchebag. 167 00:06:01,299 --> 00:06:03,402 He just agrees with Kyle no matter what. 168 00:06:03,403 --> 00:06:04,270 Ike, that is enough. 169 00:06:04,271 --> 00:06:05,740 If you're interested in "Call of Duty," 170 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,011 then go play it downstairs in the living room! 171 00:06:08,012 --> 00:06:10,069 God, these guys are so annoying, aren't they? 172 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:11,618 Commentary. Cartmanbra! 173 00:06:11,619 --> 00:06:12,893 That's all that matters now... 174 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,825 Cartmanbra! 175 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,054 What do you think you're doing?! 176 00:06:18,055 --> 00:06:20,559 Shooting for the "d" in a game of "horsedick." 177 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:21,828 You know what I mean! 178 00:06:21,829 --> 00:06:23,766 Why is my little brother watching you 179 00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:25,602 talking about us talking about him? 180 00:06:25,603 --> 00:06:27,585 I have a YouTube blog where I comment on video games. 181 00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:28,274 Big whoop. 182 00:06:28,275 --> 00:06:31,013 I don't need Ike listening to you comment on anything! 183 00:06:31,014 --> 00:06:32,616 What are you talking about? 184 00:06:32,617 --> 00:06:33,918 This fat fuck thinks he's Pewdiepie. 185 00:06:33,919 --> 00:06:36,256 Because of him, I can't get Ike to come out of his room! 186 00:06:36,257 --> 00:06:37,092 Because of me? 187 00:06:37,093 --> 00:06:38,199 I'm pretty sure I'm not the person 188 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,097 who invented let's plays, Kyle. 189 00:06:40,098 --> 00:06:40,899 Let's plays? 190 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,175 That's what they're called, dude. 191 00:06:42,176 --> 00:06:43,971 Get with the times. 192 00:06:45,876 --> 00:06:49,281 ♪ There's a party going on, and it's all right here ♪ 193 00:06:49,282 --> 00:06:50,951 ♪ yeah-ah-ah ♪ 194 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,289 ♪ throw my hands in the air ♪ 195 00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:55,661 ♪ while I'm twerking this chair ♪ 196 00:06:55,662 --> 00:06:59,241 ♪ there's a party going on, and it's all right here ♪ 197 00:06:59,242 --> 00:07:01,545 ♪ yeah-ah-ah ♪ 198 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,217 ♪ and I'm moving my hips while I'm shaking my tits ♪ 199 00:07:04,218 --> 00:07:07,023 All right, guys, uh, Miley's about to finish up her set, 200 00:07:07,024 --> 00:07:09,094 so next we'll need you, Nicki Minaj, 201 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,329 then Iggy Azalea, 202 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,605 who will be performing with a hologram of Michael Jackson, 203 00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,419 and then finally you, Lorde. 204 00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,174 Have a great show, ladies! 205 00:07:16,175 --> 00:07:17,744 Hey, uh, listen... 206 00:07:17,745 --> 00:07:21,283 I-I thought I could do this, but it's not gonna work. 207 00:07:21,284 --> 00:07:23,354 You're nervous. It's understandable. 208 00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:24,457 No, I'm... 209 00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:28,297 I know for a fact that I don't sound the same live. 210 00:07:28,298 --> 00:07:31,203 You think those people out there care what you sound like? 211 00:07:31,204 --> 00:07:32,837 You're just another female pop star. 212 00:07:32,838 --> 00:07:35,209 Just go out there, pump your hips, and rub your clit. 213 00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:37,479 Hey! That's not what my music is about! 214 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,783 I'm not reducing myself to that! 215 00:07:39,784 --> 00:07:40,819 Oh, fuck you, Lorde. 216 00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:42,637 You think you're so much better than everyone. 217 00:07:42,638 --> 00:07:43,940 No, I don't, Iggy. 218 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,944 I just think that our younger girl fans 219 00:07:45,945 --> 00:07:48,683 need something a little more positive as role models. 220 00:07:48,684 --> 00:07:50,086 That's easy for you to say 221 00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,591 because you don't have a nice body! 222 00:07:52,592 --> 00:07:54,323 Is that why you're so high and mighty, Lorde... 223 00:07:54,324 --> 00:07:56,366 because you're jealous of this Booty?! 224 00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:58,286 "Iggs," I really don't care 225 00:07:58,287 --> 00:07:59,656 to go through this again with you. 226 00:07:59,657 --> 00:08:00,691 'Cause let's face it... 227 00:08:00,692 --> 00:08:03,430 you got legs that look like a horse! 228 00:08:03,431 --> 00:08:04,498 Fuck you! 229 00:08:04,499 --> 00:08:06,336 Aah! 230 00:08:08,341 --> 00:08:09,207 All right, that's enough! 231 00:08:09,208 --> 00:08:10,143 Look at yourselves! 232 00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:13,349 You're an Internet bullshit artist, Lorde! 233 00:08:15,254 --> 00:08:15,988 Hey. What's up? 234 00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:17,591 You're not gonna believe this. 235 00:08:17,592 --> 00:08:18,860 Oh, no. What now? 236 00:08:18,861 --> 00:08:20,191 I wanted to get Ike out of his room, 237 00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:22,171 so I invited all his friends over for a slumber party 238 00:08:22,172 --> 00:08:23,373 to play "Dragon Age: Inquisition." 239 00:08:23,374 --> 00:08:25,578 - Yeah? - Come on. 240 00:08:25,579 --> 00:08:27,514 ...Just laying there. 241 00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:30,320 You see? Look at this. 242 00:08:30,321 --> 00:08:31,817 Ike has all his friends over, 243 00:08:31,818 --> 00:08:33,789 and they're just sitting around on their own computers, 244 00:08:33,790 --> 00:08:34,668 barely talking to each other. 245 00:08:34,669 --> 00:08:36,738 Ike is watching Pewdiepie play "Dragon Age." 246 00:08:36,739 --> 00:08:37,840 I'm going... 247 00:08:37,841 --> 00:08:39,443 ♪ dun-dun, DA-DA-dun-dun, DA-DA-Dan ♪ 248 00:08:39,444 --> 00:08:41,281 Pewdiepie! Pewdiepie! Pewdiepie! Pewdiepie! 249 00:08:41,282 --> 00:08:42,650 And this kid is watching Cartman 250 00:08:42,651 --> 00:08:44,587 commenting on people commenting on "Dragon Age"! 251 00:08:44,588 --> 00:08:46,858 It's a really great game. The characters are so rich! 252 00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,244 Butters is such a butthole. 253 00:08:48,245 --> 00:08:49,931 Oh, my God. Cartmanbra! 254 00:08:49,932 --> 00:08:51,166 - Cartmanbra! - Cartmanbra! 255 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:53,433 Dude, video games are meant to be played in a living room, 256 00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:55,208 not something to watch people comment on. 257 00:08:55,209 --> 00:08:58,254 Okay, grandpa, we'll be sure to keep that in mind. 258 00:09:00,192 --> 00:09:01,880 "Grandpa"?! This is how they talk to us. 259 00:09:01,881 --> 00:09:03,382 You better watch your mouth, kid! 260 00:09:03,383 --> 00:09:04,137 Yeah, Conner. 261 00:09:04,138 --> 00:09:06,709 We're supposed to respect our elders, remember? 262 00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:09,682 It's best to just make old people think they matter. 263 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:10,650 Oh, is that right? 264 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,387 Do you even know how to multiply? 265 00:09:12,388 --> 00:09:13,184 No, sir. 266 00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:14,892 Thank goodness we have you to do that. 267 00:09:16,897 --> 00:09:18,399 We're not being grandpas. 268 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,536 Your guys' stuff is just seriously lame. 269 00:09:20,537 --> 00:09:22,072 Our generation's stuff is cool. 270 00:09:22,073 --> 00:09:23,124 Oh, my God, I killed him! 271 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,762 ♪ Missy, Missy, Missy ♪ 272 00:09:25,763 --> 00:09:27,533 ♪ Missy who, who? That's all I do ♪ 273 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:28,735 ♪ is rip off Missy ♪ 274 00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,639 ♪ Missy who? ♪ ♪ Missy who? ♪ 275 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:31,774 ♪ Missy who? Missy who? ♪ 276 00:09:31,775 --> 00:09:34,346 ♪ Missy who, who? Missy who, who? ♪ 277 00:09:34,347 --> 00:09:35,949 All right, bitches and hos, 278 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,454 here he is, via hologram and shit... 279 00:09:38,455 --> 00:09:40,291 Michael Jackson! 280 00:09:40,292 --> 00:09:41,760 And cue the hologram! 281 00:09:41,761 --> 00:09:43,464 ♪ Missy, who, who, who? ♪ 282 00:09:50,945 --> 00:09:51,981 ♪ Hee, hee ♪ 283 00:09:55,621 --> 00:09:57,765 They shouldn't rehash dead people. 284 00:09:57,766 --> 00:09:58,800 It's so wrong. 285 00:09:58,801 --> 00:10:01,304 Oh, Lorde, you're such a purest. 286 00:10:01,305 --> 00:10:02,641 Can't help it, Nik. 287 00:10:02,642 --> 00:10:05,987 Can't help feeling like we're losing something. 288 00:10:10,858 --> 00:10:12,460 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 289 00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:13,997 ♪ ooh, ooh ♪ 290 00:10:15,301 --> 00:10:17,428 Hi, everybody! I love you! 291 00:10:17,429 --> 00:10:20,066 Thanks for loving me! I love you, too! 292 00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:22,838 So, I guess there's this new trend with young people 293 00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,543 where the celebrities they look up to most 294 00:10:25,544 --> 00:10:27,036 are YouTube commentators, 295 00:10:27,037 --> 00:10:29,775 just ordinary people who sit in front of a mike 296 00:10:29,776 --> 00:10:32,480 and blab their opinions about everything 297 00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:35,018 while their mindless, loyal followers cheer them on. 298 00:10:35,019 --> 00:10:36,421 Isn't that crazy? 299 00:10:38,726 --> 00:10:41,631 Well, let's meet one of these stars of the Internet. 300 00:10:41,632 --> 00:10:44,336 Please welcome Cartmanbra. 301 00:10:44,337 --> 00:10:45,739 Cartmanbra! 302 00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:49,380 So, can you explain to our audience members 303 00:10:49,381 --> 00:10:50,748 over the age of 5 304 00:10:50,749 --> 00:10:53,554 what it is that you do? 305 00:10:53,555 --> 00:10:56,299 Well, Wendy, I started by talking about people talking about video games, 306 00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,003 but now I'm branching out into talking about people 307 00:10:58,004 --> 00:10:59,606 talking about music and the arts, as well. 308 00:10:59,607 --> 00:11:01,476 And why do you think young people... 309 00:11:01,477 --> 00:11:03,914 Cartmanbra! 310 00:11:03,915 --> 00:11:07,655 Why do you think young people are responding to this? 311 00:11:07,656 --> 00:11:10,327 Why dah you thin' young perpel are papondin' to der? 312 00:11:10,328 --> 00:11:12,097 I'm asking you a question. 313 00:11:12,098 --> 00:11:13,733 I'm atting you a questo. Why dah Du qua... 314 00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:15,837 aah! Cartmanbra! 315 00:11:15,838 --> 00:11:17,107 Cartmanbra! 316 00:11:17,108 --> 00:11:19,411 Be sure to subscribe to my channel, brahs. 317 00:11:22,351 --> 00:11:25,423 And now give it up for the girl from New Zealand... 318 00:11:25,424 --> 00:11:26,658 Lorde! 319 00:11:28,363 --> 00:11:30,800 Thank you! Thanks a lot! 320 00:11:30,801 --> 00:11:33,572 This is for all the royals out there! 321 00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:39,918 ♪ Lorde, Lorde ♪ 322 00:11:39,919 --> 00:11:42,723 ♪ I'm Lorde, ya, ya, ya ♪ 323 00:11:42,724 --> 00:11:45,595 ♪ sitting on the toilet thinking ♪ 324 00:11:45,596 --> 00:11:48,468 ♪ 'bout how I'm not as rich as other people, ya, ya, ya ♪ 325 00:11:48,469 --> 00:11:50,905 ♪ ya, ya, ya, ya ♪ 326 00:11:50,906 --> 00:11:54,146 ♪ I'll never be, I'll never be royalty ♪ 327 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:59,162 ♪ but that'd be nice 'cause that'd be nice fantasy ♪ 328 00:12:00,732 --> 00:12:04,739 ♪ women's bathrooms smell so nice, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya ♪ 329 00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:07,912 ♪ and we'll never be Lorde, Lorde, Lorde ♪ 330 00:12:07,913 --> 00:12:11,519 ♪ Lorde flushing, Lorde, Lorde, Lorde, lo... ♪ 331 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:12,955 Uh, okay. 332 00:12:12,956 --> 00:12:14,525 Oh, God. Sorry. 333 00:12:16,029 --> 00:12:18,599 Uh, hold on. Hang on. 334 00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,840 ♪ Hee, hee ♪ 335 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:24,578 I'm free! I'm free! 336 00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:27,083 Sorry, folks. Just one second here. 337 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,990 ♪ Hee, hee, DA-DA-dit DA-dit ♪ 338 00:12:30,991 --> 00:12:32,995 Stop him! 339 00:12:35,901 --> 00:12:37,804 Michael Jackson's hologram is on the loose. 340 00:12:37,805 --> 00:12:39,740 ♪ Hee, hee ♪ 341 00:12:39,741 --> 00:12:41,043 ♪ oh, ya, ya ♪ 342 00:12:41,044 --> 00:12:42,813 Okay, uh... 343 00:12:42,814 --> 00:12:44,183 ♪ Ah, ya, ya, ya, ya ♪ 344 00:12:50,629 --> 00:12:53,634 Okay, uh, uh... 345 00:12:53,635 --> 00:12:54,804 Ooh! 346 00:12:54,805 --> 00:12:56,948 Oh, yeah! Oh, my clit! 347 00:12:56,949 --> 00:12:58,016 Oh, yeah! 348 00:12:58,017 --> 00:12:59,419 Ooh, yeah. 349 00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,523 Flick that bean. Yeah. 350 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,097 Oh, I'm so horny. Yeah. 351 00:13:05,098 --> 00:13:08,636 Ooh, fuck! My clit's so big. 352 00:13:08,637 --> 00:13:10,675 Ooh! 353 00:13:14,884 --> 00:13:19,124 Could you, um, pass the potatoes, Stan? 354 00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:21,095 Great. Thanks. 355 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:24,768 Well, nobody's talking. 356 00:13:24,769 --> 00:13:26,940 Doesn't anyone have anything to talk about? 357 00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:30,713 Why did you have to rub your clit onstage, dad? 358 00:13:30,714 --> 00:13:32,851 I was told to. 359 00:13:32,852 --> 00:13:35,924 You were told to walk out in front of 100,000 people, 360 00:13:35,925 --> 00:13:38,795 including little girls who look up to you, 361 00:13:38,796 --> 00:13:40,933 and start rubbing your clit? 362 00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:41,901 Okay, hold on. 363 00:13:41,902 --> 00:13:43,639 "A," I don't have a clit, 364 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,109 so, technically, I wasn't rubbing anything. 365 00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:48,648 And "b," I didn't want to even perform tonight, 366 00:13:48,649 --> 00:13:50,518 but Stanley gave all our money to Canada 367 00:13:50,519 --> 00:13:51,921 through a Freemium game, 368 00:13:51,922 --> 00:13:55,161 so if anyone rubbed their clit, it was him. 369 00:14:27,297 --> 00:14:28,632 It's dying. 370 00:14:28,633 --> 00:14:31,806 The living room is dying. 371 00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:36,815 Yeah, it's me. 372 00:14:36,816 --> 00:14:38,551 I need to fix this. 373 00:14:38,552 --> 00:14:41,023 How can I undo the clit rubbing? 374 00:14:41,024 --> 00:14:43,728 What are you talking about? It's great! 375 00:14:43,729 --> 00:14:46,834 You're the most commented-on artist in the world right now. 376 00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:48,170 You're blowing up Twitter 377 00:14:48,171 --> 00:14:50,625 and you're trending on Cartmanbra. #clitnubbin. 378 00:14:50,626 --> 00:14:51,611 Look, this isn't what I want. 379 00:14:51,612 --> 00:14:52,879 My music is supposed to be... 380 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,184 it's not about the music, Lorde. 381 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,661 It never was. 382 00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:59,532 It's about comments. 383 00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:01,670 And, sister, you got 'em. 384 00:15:01,671 --> 00:15:04,008 This ends now. 385 00:15:04,009 --> 00:15:06,981 I'm gonna tell people the truth. 386 00:15:12,158 --> 00:15:15,062 Will you look at that? Everyone on their cellphones. 387 00:15:15,063 --> 00:15:17,267 Nobody saying a word to each other. 388 00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:18,336 Call me a grandpa, 389 00:15:18,337 --> 00:15:21,742 but I still like commenting face-to-face with folks. 390 00:15:21,743 --> 00:15:22,912 You know what I mean, buddy? 391 00:15:22,913 --> 00:15:23,947 Yes. 392 00:15:23,948 --> 00:15:26,118 You're heading up to the mountains, too, huh? 393 00:15:26,119 --> 00:15:27,086 Gonna do some skiing? 394 00:15:27,087 --> 00:15:28,623 No, I just need to... 395 00:15:28,624 --> 00:15:31,127 Take care of some... important business. 396 00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:33,698 Oh, what kind of business? Are you a fisherman? 397 00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,235 Yes. I mean, yes. That's all. 398 00:15:35,236 --> 00:15:37,305 I'm... I'm just gonna fish and hunt. 399 00:15:37,306 --> 00:15:39,911 Oh, you're a hunter. What do you prey upon? 400 00:15:39,912 --> 00:15:43,051 Nobody! That's ignorant! 401 00:15:43,052 --> 00:15:44,954 Well, you must have a favorite kind of prey. 402 00:15:44,955 --> 00:15:47,827 Allegedly. Allegedly! That's ignorant! 403 00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:50,947 You know, excuse me for saying so, 404 00:15:50,948 --> 00:15:53,385 but... you seem kind of... transparent. 405 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,819 That's ignorant. I'm just cold. 406 00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,690 I'm saying it must make it easier 407 00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:59,426 to sneak up on your prey. 408 00:15:59,427 --> 00:16:01,597 Allegedly! I'm weary of this conversation. 409 00:16:01,598 --> 00:16:03,601 Can we please stop talking? Please? 410 00:16:03,602 --> 00:16:05,172 Ignorant. 411 00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:08,199 Well, whatever it is you're after, 412 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,045 I hope you get it. 413 00:16:09,046 --> 00:16:10,815 Oh, I will. 414 00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:12,920 Trust me. I will. 415 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,902 Oh, we've lost any ability 416 00:16:21,903 --> 00:16:23,305 to track the hologram's location. 417 00:16:23,306 --> 00:16:24,841 It... it looks like it reprogrammed 418 00:16:24,842 --> 00:16:26,177 its guidance systems. 419 00:16:26,178 --> 00:16:28,382 We paid a lot of money for that hologram. 420 00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:30,486 You better find a way to get it back. 421 00:16:30,487 --> 00:16:31,954 Project Alpha? 422 00:16:31,955 --> 00:16:34,193 Yes. That might be our only option. 423 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,862 What is project Alpha? 424 00:16:35,863 --> 00:16:38,334 The first hologram we ever created to appear onstage. 425 00:16:38,335 --> 00:16:39,369 It was a prototype, 426 00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:41,841 but perhaps the best thing to stop a hologram... 427 00:16:41,842 --> 00:16:43,110 Is another hologram. 428 00:16:43,111 --> 00:16:44,546 Bring up Project Alpha. 429 00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:46,517 Sir, are you sure that we want to... 430 00:16:46,518 --> 00:16:48,420 Bring it up! 431 00:16:51,027 --> 00:16:52,862 What is that? 432 00:16:52,863 --> 00:16:54,198 Tupac. 433 00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:56,476 Tupac. 434 00:16:56,477 --> 00:16:58,145 Yo. 435 00:16:58,146 --> 00:17:01,151 The hologram of Michael Jackson is on the loose. 436 00:17:01,152 --> 00:17:04,392 We need you to... take care of the situation. 437 00:17:07,499 --> 00:17:10,304 Godspeed, Tupac. 438 00:17:13,143 --> 00:17:15,847 Oh, my gosh, honey! Look, it's Tupac! 439 00:17:15,848 --> 00:17:18,019 I told you them homeys didn't cap his ass. 440 00:17:22,794 --> 00:17:24,998 Oh, this is going on Instagram. 441 00:17:24,999 --> 00:17:26,500 Hey, hey. How's it going, brahs? 442 00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:28,324 This is Cartmanbra. Cartmanbra! 443 00:17:28,325 --> 00:17:31,191 And, uh, we are... it looks like we are at the bus stop now. 444 00:17:31,192 --> 00:17:33,663 Yep. There's Kyle, Stan, and Kenny looking stupid as ever. 445 00:17:33,664 --> 00:17:34,808 I don't know what the hell to do. 446 00:17:34,809 --> 00:17:36,141 The whole world's gone crazy. 447 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,002 Tell me about it. 448 00:17:37,003 --> 00:17:39,363 Uh-oh. Looks like Kyle's taking issue with something again. 449 00:17:39,364 --> 00:17:41,711 Kyle's got a problem! Cartmanbra! 450 00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:43,315 You know, you used to sit in the living room 451 00:17:43,316 --> 00:17:44,386 with your friends and family 452 00:17:44,387 --> 00:17:46,788 and they were the ones commenting on whatever was on TV. 453 00:17:46,789 --> 00:17:48,224 Oh, God. 454 00:17:48,225 --> 00:17:49,785 Do you mind? 455 00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:51,971 Oh, looks like Kyle's commenting on my commenter window, brahs. 456 00:17:51,972 --> 00:17:54,162 Be sure to comment on that. #kyle'sgettingfrustrated. 457 00:17:54,163 --> 00:17:56,804 Dude! Nobody wants to hear you commenting on things. 458 00:17:56,805 --> 00:17:57,706 Oh, really? 459 00:17:57,707 --> 00:17:59,745 10,000 subscribers and counting, brah. 460 00:18:04,988 --> 00:18:06,824 Thanks for seeing me. 461 00:18:06,825 --> 00:18:09,095 I've got my speech written. 462 00:18:09,096 --> 00:18:11,226 I'm ready to let the world know the truth. 463 00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:13,872 Sit down, Lorde. 464 00:18:13,873 --> 00:18:16,777 I'm not interested in being talked out of ending this. 465 00:18:16,778 --> 00:18:18,782 It's the right thing to do. 466 00:18:20,451 --> 00:18:24,024 Do you know what an artist is now, Lorde? 467 00:18:24,025 --> 00:18:28,225 An artist is a conversation piece, nothing more, 468 00:18:28,534 --> 00:18:31,907 like a vase or a kitschy side table, 469 00:18:31,908 --> 00:18:35,780 just something for people to comment on. 470 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,417 The old ways are dying. 471 00:18:37,418 --> 00:18:39,688 We're not making money off records. 472 00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:41,692 We're making money off tweets, 473 00:18:41,693 --> 00:18:43,730 and you've taken it to a whole new level. 474 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:46,768 Well, that's not a world Lorde ever wanted to be a part of. 475 00:18:46,769 --> 00:18:49,062 On the contrary, 476 00:18:49,063 --> 00:18:51,852 Lorde is going on the Jimmy Fallon show tonight 477 00:18:51,853 --> 00:18:55,565 and exposing her asshole for everyone to freak out about. 478 00:18:55,566 --> 00:18:57,603 I'll do no such thing. 479 00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,941 Who said anything about you? 480 00:19:10,997 --> 00:19:14,236 You can't just replace artists with holograms. 481 00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:16,105 Who will make the content? 482 00:19:16,106 --> 00:19:19,479 Today, commentary is the content. 483 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,886 And, you, I'm afraid, are... just in the way. 484 00:19:26,127 --> 00:19:29,366 Okay, children. Let's take our seats. 485 00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:32,123 Before we get started, Kyle has asked to say a few words. 486 00:19:32,124 --> 00:19:33,239 Go ahead, Kyle. 487 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,210 What is happening to our living rooms? 488 00:19:35,211 --> 00:19:36,981 There is a crisis in America, and... 489 00:19:36,982 --> 00:19:38,884 Looks like we're in the school now. 490 00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:40,654 Check out Wendy. She's flat as a pancake. 491 00:19:40,655 --> 00:19:42,023 What the hell is that? 492 00:19:42,024 --> 00:19:43,994 It's Cartman's stupid online persona. 493 00:19:43,995 --> 00:19:45,363 Oh, my dick's getting hard again. 494 00:19:45,364 --> 00:19:46,650 It's protruding out my pants! 495 00:19:46,651 --> 00:19:47,760 What the hell? 496 00:19:47,761 --> 00:19:49,362 This is the way of the future, Mr. Garrison. 497 00:19:49,363 --> 00:19:50,039 It's true! 498 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:50,908 That's right. 499 00:19:50,909 --> 00:19:52,022 Butters will back me up on anything. 500 00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:53,379 - He's such a bitch. - Yeah. 501 00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:54,755 There is a crisis in America 502 00:19:54,756 --> 00:19:56,358 as families grow further and further apart... 503 00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:58,362 There is a crisis in America, 504 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,132 and we have to save our living rooms. 505 00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,368 Our living rooms are dying. 506 00:20:01,369 --> 00:20:03,372 Mr. Garrison, will you make him stop? 507 00:20:03,373 --> 00:20:06,678 I don't... I don't even understand what's happening. 508 00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:08,816 This is the reason why our living rooms are dying! 509 00:20:08,817 --> 00:20:11,253 This is the reason our living rooms are dying! 510 00:20:11,254 --> 00:20:12,890 So we've got to do something. 511 00:20:12,891 --> 00:20:14,226 Eric Cartman's commenter window 512 00:20:14,227 --> 00:20:16,030 to the principal's office, please. 513 00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:18,434 Eric Cartman's commenter window to the principal's office. 514 00:20:18,435 --> 00:20:20,305 What the hell did I do? 515 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,776 Eric, I've had a lot of complaints 516 00:20:22,777 --> 00:20:25,748 that your online persona is becoming a distraction. 517 00:20:25,749 --> 00:20:27,733 Well, this sucks. Looks like I'm in the principal's office 518 00:20:27,734 --> 00:20:28,922 for just commenting on things. 519 00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:31,359 Eric, I am talking to you. 520 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,231 Adults so don't get what's cool anymore. 521 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:35,901 Sharon, Sharon! 522 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,138 Randy? What's going on? 523 00:20:37,139 --> 00:20:39,342 They made a hologram of me, Sharon. 524 00:20:39,343 --> 00:20:41,980 They don't care about the music. They're replacing us! 525 00:20:41,981 --> 00:20:42,915 Oh, my God. 526 00:20:42,916 --> 00:20:46,756 You mean... I just slept with a hologram? 527 00:20:46,757 --> 00:20:48,259 The hologram's in our bedroom? 528 00:20:48,260 --> 00:20:49,462 Yes! 529 00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,770 A'ight. I got to be leaving now, Sharon. 530 00:20:53,771 --> 00:20:55,173 I would leave you my number, 531 00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:57,607 but I'm just a hologram and shit. 532 00:21:00,056 --> 00:21:02,327 You slept with Tupac! 533 00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,395 Sharon! 534 00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:07,971 It's a brave new world. 535 00:21:07,972 --> 00:21:11,210 Starting much sooner than we thought. 536 00:21:11,211 --> 00:21:12,295 What we need is someone 537 00:21:12,296 --> 00:21:14,517 who truly gets the changing of the guard. 538 00:21:14,518 --> 00:21:16,821 We have an army of holograms 539 00:21:16,822 --> 00:21:20,127 poised to start the next chapter in American culture. 540 00:21:20,128 --> 00:21:23,267 How would you like to be in charge of it all? 541 00:21:23,268 --> 00:21:25,037 Oh, totally, brah. 542 00:21:25,038 --> 00:21:26,774 So sweet. Being in charge of stuff rules. 543 00:21:26,775 --> 00:21:28,811 Cartmanbra! 544 00:21:28,812 --> 00:21:30,281 Glad you feel that way. 545 00:21:30,282 --> 00:21:32,351 We have a lot to do together. 546 00:21:32,352 --> 00:21:35,825 We're about to take this to a whole new level. 547 00:21:35,826 --> 00:21:37,546 Oh, I love whole new levels! 548 00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:39,031 This is gonna be so totally awesome! 549 00:21:39,032 --> 00:21:40,267 Cartmanbra! 550 00:21:40,652 --> 00:21:45,138 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 37485

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.