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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,234 --> 00:00:07,266 sync and corrections by dreaMaker7 www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:35,344 --> 00:00:37,645 - [ indistinct conversations ] - Whoa! 3 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:41,673 It's all so real! This is amazing! 4 00:00:41,699 --> 00:00:46,002 It's like I'm there! I see all our friends at school! 5 00:00:46,028 --> 00:00:50,284 Oh, wow! If I hold up my hands, I can see them, too! Whoa! 6 00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:56,458 Wow! You were right! I can actually feel it! 7 00:00:56,484 --> 00:00:58,270 Butters, what the hell are you doing? 8 00:00:58,296 --> 00:01:00,631 I feel Stan! He looks totally real! 9 00:01:00,657 --> 00:01:02,987 That's awesome, Butters. Keep making your way down the 10 00:01:03,013 --> 00:01:04,513 hallway. Your vital signs are looking 11 00:01:04,539 --> 00:01:06,707 good. What do you see now? 12 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,985 - More of the school. - What are you doing, Butters? 13 00:01:09,011 --> 00:01:11,724 The school and all the kids. I still can't hear any sound 14 00:01:11,750 --> 00:01:13,911 - except for your voice. - Yeah, they haven't worked out 15 00:01:13,937 --> 00:01:17,041 the audio yet, but... [ Stifled laughter ] he's so fuc[bleep] stupid. 16 00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:18,617 But I'm sure they will soon. 17 00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,694 Ugh. Okay. I think I'm done Eric. 18 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,223 I-I'm feeling kind of dizzy and, uh... 19 00:01:22,247 --> 00:01:23,407 Butters, no! Are you crazy? 20 00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:24,832 - What?! What?! What?! - What did I tell you about 21 00:01:24,858 --> 00:01:26,609 removing the headset when you're not back at the access hub? 22 00:01:26,835 --> 00:01:28,969 Oh, yeah... that it would split my neurons and scramble my 23 00:01:29,087 --> 00:01:30,387 brains! I forgot! 24 00:01:30,505 --> 00:01:32,225 You forgot your neurons would be torn apart? 25 00:01:32,257 --> 00:01:34,308 Did you also forget that if you die in virtual reality, you die 26 00:01:34,426 --> 00:01:36,677 - in real life, Butters? - I'm sorry! 27 00:01:36,811 --> 00:01:38,331 You need find your way back to my room. 28 00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:39,647 - Can you do that? - Yeah! 29 00:01:39,764 --> 00:01:41,902 We only have eight minutes before the battery protocols die Butters. 30 00:01:41,928 --> 00:01:43,956 - You have to hurry. - Oh, Jesus! [ Door slams ] 31 00:01:52,209 --> 00:01:54,787 - Okay. I'm back at your room! - All right, Butters, sit down 32 00:01:54,813 --> 00:01:56,780 at the computer. Now drop the stafernasy window. 33 00:01:56,915 --> 00:02:00,030 - We're just gonna make it. - Stafernasy window dropped! 34 00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:07,066 Welcome back, dude. 35 00:02:07,092 --> 00:02:11,212 - Wow. That was cool. - How do you feel? You feel ok? 36 00:02:11,238 --> 00:02:13,130 I touched Wendy's boob. 37 00:02:13,156 --> 00:02:16,241 [ Laughing hysterically ] And then... and then he... he 38 00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:18,469 took of the shop goggles, and was all like, "Whoa, I'm back!" 39 00:02:18,603 --> 00:02:20,170 [ Fist pounds ] Damn it if it's not the 40 00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:22,906 - awesomest thing ever! - Sounds pretty typical to me. 41 00:02:22,932 --> 00:02:24,773 Come on, guys. This is the "Cure de gars" of 42 00:02:24,799 --> 00:02:27,514 - Butters torture. - "Coup de grace," Cartman. 43 00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:29,668 - Thank you, Kyle. - Poor Butters. 44 00:02:29,694 --> 00:02:31,835 - Can't you just leave him alone? - Dude, Butters is an asshole, 45 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:34,059 and he deserves to be taken down once in a while, okay? 46 00:02:34,085 --> 00:02:35,753 Hey, Eric! What did you say to the 47 00:02:35,779 --> 00:02:37,196 principal for missing first period? 48 00:02:37,222 --> 00:02:38,995 Not that we were doing anything interesting. 49 00:02:39,021 --> 00:02:40,471 [ Chuckling ] Right, Eric? 50 00:02:40,497 --> 00:02:42,503 Yeah, I just told her I was running late and it won't happen again. 51 00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:43,447 You know what I said? 52 00:02:43,473 --> 00:02:45,762 She asked me why I wasn't in school, and I said, "Well, 53 00:02:45,796 --> 00:02:48,396 technically, I was at school." Tee hee! 54 00:02:48,422 --> 00:02:50,659 Sorry, guys, but Eric and I know a little something you don't... 55 00:02:50,685 --> 00:02:51,985 Not that it's anything that cool. 56 00:02:52,103 --> 00:02:53,231 - Right, Eric? - Right, Butters. 57 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:56,391 - These guys are so dumb, huh? - Yeah! 58 00:02:57,247 --> 00:02:58,926 See? He's an asshole. Fuc[bleep] him. 59 00:03:01,663 --> 00:03:03,497 Each time you go into the virtual world, 60 00:03:03,523 --> 00:03:05,166 it becomes more and more dangerous. 61 00:03:05,192 --> 00:03:07,531 Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Butters? 62 00:03:07,557 --> 00:03:10,878 - Well, not 100%. - Even 10% is good enough. 63 00:03:10,904 --> 00:03:16,106 - Here you go. - Okay. Subject is ready. 64 00:03:16,132 --> 00:03:19,228 All right, Butters, I'm booting up the core competency now. [ Keys clacking ] 65 00:03:19,254 --> 00:03:21,680 Edifice framework is online. Vital signs appear to be 66 00:03:21,706 --> 00:03:22,940 normal. Interim status? 67 00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:24,400 Interim status is go! 68 00:03:25,947 --> 00:03:27,877 Digital malcontent now at 69 00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,304 parameter Alpha. Prepare for full graphic 70 00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:33,990 interfacing on my mark. Five, four, three, two, one, 71 00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:36,393 mark. [ Door closes ] 72 00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:38,651 It worked! I'm back in! 73 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,310 - All systems normal! - All right, Butters, behind 74 00:03:41,336 --> 00:03:43,264 you, you should see the door. Go through it and head outside. 75 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:49,295 Going now! [ Thud ] 76 00:03:49,321 --> 00:03:50,642 Everything looks good, Butters. 77 00:03:50,668 --> 00:03:51,751 You're doing great. Let's get to work. 78 00:03:51,777 --> 00:03:53,101 Okay. 79 00:03:55,321 --> 00:03:56,813 [ Shovel scraping ] 80 00:03:59,815 --> 00:04:02,950 [ Grunting ] How much more of this am I 81 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,519 - supposed to clear up? - You're doing great. 82 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,326 Almost done with this level, Butters. 83 00:04:07,352 --> 00:04:09,449 Just make sure you've cleared the driveway and, uh, walkway of 84 00:04:09,475 --> 00:04:10,898 - all the virtual snow. - Okay! 85 00:04:10,924 --> 00:04:14,356 It's so realistic! The snow looks kind of fake, though. 86 00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,853 All right, I think that's all of it! 87 00:04:20,411 --> 00:04:21,869 Okay, nice, Butters. 88 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,496 Um, now go to the front door and ring the doorbell. 89 00:04:23,522 --> 00:04:26,491 This is the part where you collect the money. 90 00:04:26,662 --> 00:04:29,530 There's a old fat lady here! She's holding out money for me! 91 00:04:29,556 --> 00:04:32,621 - Just take the money, Butters. - Okay, I got it! 92 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,014 You got the money? Okay, great, Butters. 93 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,483 Now get back to the access point. 94 00:04:35,617 --> 00:04:37,618 Already? Aw, no! 95 00:04:37,752 --> 00:04:39,272 Yeah, Butters. The discrepancy bars are 96 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:42,120 oscillating. You need to, um, come back. 97 00:04:42,146 --> 00:04:45,725 Are you heading back, Butters? Butters? 98 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,065 All right, Butters, you should get back to the access point now. 99 00:04:49,091 --> 00:04:50,183 You're going off grid. 100 00:04:50,209 --> 00:04:54,666 I'm sorry, Eric, but there's just one thing I got to do real quick. 101 00:04:59,525 --> 00:05:02,087 There you are, mister! Just what do you think you're doing? 102 00:05:02,113 --> 00:05:03,580 Hello, dad! It's me... Butters! 103 00:05:03,606 --> 00:05:05,057 I know that. What are you... 104 00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:06,803 This is for all the times I got grounded. 105 00:05:06,829 --> 00:05:09,397 Ohh! Ohh. Ohh. 106 00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:12,246 Ha! I could almost feel his balls on my fist! 107 00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:14,307 [ Laughs ] How'd you like that, dad? 108 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:16,507 Butters, why?! Oh, my God! 109 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,544 - That was incredible! - Uh, Butters, uh, get back to 110 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:21,538 - the access point now. - I feel amazing! 111 00:05:21,564 --> 00:05:23,965 [ Laughs maniacally ] I'm back outside now! 112 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,526 I'm a bad man! You hear me? 113 00:05:26,552 --> 00:05:30,122 Take that, you stupid cars! [ Glass breaking ] 114 00:05:30,148 --> 00:05:31,612 [ Tires screeching ]What the hell are you doing, kid? 115 00:05:31,638 --> 00:05:34,148 Butters, it's, uh, time to stop. Get back to my place. 116 00:05:34,174 --> 00:05:36,751 Who's the man now? I'm gonna take his car! 117 00:05:36,777 --> 00:05:39,479 - This is like "Grand theft auto"! - Hey! 118 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,439 Whoa! I'm in the car now! 119 00:05:41,473 --> 00:05:46,036 Oh shit. Butters, Butters, where are you now? 120 00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:48,787 I'm in the bad part of town! I just hit a lamppost! 121 00:05:48,813 --> 00:05:51,236 I'm back on my feet. Oh, oh, that's cool. 122 00:05:51,262 --> 00:05:53,703 - There's a prostitute out here. - Okay, Butters, let's call it 123 00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,329 - good, okay? - I'm gonna beat her up and 124 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,419 - take her money! - Wait. Hang on Butters. 125 00:05:57,445 --> 00:06:00,028 - Take that, you dumb hooker! - What you doing, [Bleep] 126 00:06:00,054 --> 00:06:02,936 I'm taking your money! Oh. Oh, she stabbed me. 127 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:05,184 - Uh, the hooker stabbed me. - Butters, get back to my room 128 00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:07,011 the veracrosses are destabilizing. 129 00:06:07,037 --> 00:06:09,713 [ Wheezing ] I can't... I can't breathe too good, Eric. 130 00:06:09,739 --> 00:06:12,682 I can't see. Are you still there? 131 00:06:12,708 --> 00:06:16,720 Oh. I think I overdid it. I got to take this thing off. 132 00:06:16,746 --> 00:06:18,964 What the hell? What hell is that?! 133 00:06:18,990 --> 00:06:21,224 - Aah! - Butters? 134 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,049 Butters? 135 00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:27,218 You're very lucky, young man. 136 00:06:27,244 --> 00:06:30,146 You've got a couple hairline fractures, but the knife missed 137 00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:34,175 - your spleen by half an inch. - I-I d-didn't think a knife 138 00:06:34,201 --> 00:06:36,172 could really hurt me. I thought I was just in a 139 00:06:36,198 --> 00:06:38,683 - virtual reality. - No, you actually got stabbed 140 00:06:38,709 --> 00:06:40,110 by a hooker. We've called your parents, and 141 00:06:40,136 --> 00:06:43,370 they're on their way. Your dad wanted me to let you 142 00:06:43,396 --> 00:06:46,053 know that you're grounded more than you can possibly imagine. 143 00:06:46,079 --> 00:06:48,329 - Aw, nuts. - Try and relax, and when 144 00:06:48,355 --> 00:06:50,223 you're parents get here, we'll sort this all out. 145 00:06:53,056 --> 00:06:54,790 Wonder how long I'm grounded for. 146 00:06:55,222 --> 00:06:58,274 - Butters. - Aah! 147 00:06:58,300 --> 00:06:59,500 - Are you okay? - Eric! 148 00:06:59,526 --> 00:07:02,061 - What are you doing here? - I'm not here, Butters. 149 00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:04,088 - What? - This is going to be hard to 150 00:07:04,114 --> 00:07:06,377 understand Butters, but you've become trapped in the 151 00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:08,704 simulation. None of this is real. 152 00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:13,331 - Nuh-unh! - Yeah-huh. 153 00:07:13,357 --> 00:07:15,806 I told you never to take the headset off outside the access 154 00:07:15,832 --> 00:07:17,938 point, didn't I? We're actually both at my house 155 00:07:17,964 --> 00:07:19,765 right now. You're wearing the headset, and 156 00:07:19,791 --> 00:07:21,058 I'm talking to you as a computer program. 157 00:07:21,084 --> 00:07:25,087 That's why I can... manipulate reality. 158 00:07:25,781 --> 00:07:27,819 What?! 159 00:07:29,129 --> 00:07:30,730 You see, in this world, 160 00:07:30,756 --> 00:07:36,093 - things aren't what they seem. - Aah! Okay, stop! Stop! 161 00:07:36,119 --> 00:07:38,253 Listen to me carefully, Butters. 162 00:07:38,279 --> 00:07:39,579 The oculus compromise has been streamlined. 163 00:07:39,605 --> 00:07:41,229 You can't trust anyone in this reality. 164 00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:43,653 Say nothing to no one about the oculus rift. 165 00:07:43,679 --> 00:07:45,502 If you think they know, they will kill you. 166 00:07:45,528 --> 00:07:48,397 - How do you know that? - How would I know that the 167 00:07:48,423 --> 00:07:50,257 nurse is about to walk through that door? 168 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,242 - [ Footsteps approaching ] - Everything okay in here? 169 00:07:53,268 --> 00:07:56,036 Aah! Yes! Yes, everything's fine! 170 00:07:56,062 --> 00:07:58,764 - Okay. - Butters. 171 00:07:58,790 --> 00:08:00,003 - No! - I'm gonna get you back to 172 00:08:00,029 --> 00:08:01,396 reality, Butters, but you have to give me time. 173 00:08:01,977 --> 00:08:03,344 I've got to go. The orion parameters are 174 00:08:03,370 --> 00:08:05,203 embellishing. Just stay quiet. 175 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:09,333 [ Coin tapping ] [ Coin clatters ] 176 00:08:09,359 --> 00:08:10,184 Aah! 177 00:08:13,418 --> 00:08:14,965 Well, are you happy, Cartman? 178 00:08:14,991 --> 00:08:16,825 Butters is completely traumatized. 179 00:08:16,851 --> 00:08:18,751 I'm happy that I totally got away with it. 180 00:08:18,777 --> 00:08:22,519 [ Cellphone ringing ] What's a 911 area code? 181 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,121 - Hello? - [ Indian accent ] Hello, Eric. 182 00:08:24,147 --> 00:08:26,009 My name is Steve from Oculus 183 00:08:26,035 --> 00:08:28,837 Customer Service. There seems to be an error with 184 00:08:28,863 --> 00:08:32,431 our virtual headsets, and on behalf of the company, I would 185 00:08:32,457 --> 00:08:35,176 like to apologize and try to help. 186 00:08:35,287 --> 00:08:37,147 - With what? - This is going to be very 187 00:08:37,173 --> 00:08:40,344 jarring for you, but there's been a malfunction with the 188 00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:43,333 headset you ordered from us. Right now, you're actually in 189 00:08:43,359 --> 00:08:46,728 your room, at your computer, wearing an oculus headset, but 190 00:08:46,754 --> 00:08:50,390 you're in a coma-like trance, my friend. 191 00:08:50,633 --> 00:08:54,169 - [Bleep] you. - I understand your shock, my friend. 192 00:08:54,195 --> 00:08:56,911 friend, but you have simply been in the virtual world so long, 193 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,278 - you have forgotten. - You should probably listen to 194 00:08:59,304 --> 00:09:00,784 - him, dude. - Uh-huh. 195 00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:02,444 'Cause I thought I was messing with Butters, but I'm actually 196 00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:03,331 the one trapped in virtual reality. 197 00:09:03,357 --> 00:09:07,503 The people you are talking to are just computer programs, my friend. 198 00:09:07,529 --> 00:09:09,330 Guys, tell him you're not computer programs. 199 00:09:10,113 --> 00:09:12,034 Maybe we are. 200 00:09:12,406 --> 00:09:15,244 [ Sighs ] Kyle, just don't be a dick right now. 201 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:16,378 I know this is very hard for 202 00:09:16,404 --> 00:09:18,179 you, but we don't have a lot of time. 203 00:09:18,205 --> 00:09:20,973 You really think I'm that stupid, that I'd believe all of 204 00:09:20,999 --> 00:09:23,374 this, all along, has been me living out some kind of virtual 205 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,760 reality fantasy? [Bleep] you. 206 00:09:27,705 --> 00:09:30,045 - [ Knock on door ] - Eric? 207 00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:33,723 Poopsiekins? Eric? 208 00:09:36,129 --> 00:09:38,263 Honey, maybe that's enough computer time. 209 00:09:38,289 --> 00:09:40,829 It's been about 19 hours now. 210 00:09:41,989 --> 00:09:43,989 I know you said not to disturb 211 00:09:44,015 --> 00:09:47,050 you with your new toy, but mommy thought maybe you needed to eat. 212 00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:51,006 All right, I'll just leave it here, hon. 213 00:09:51,032 --> 00:09:55,295 I'm turning in for the night. Mommy loves you. 214 00:09:55,656 --> 00:09:58,599 What kind of person did we raise you to be?! 215 00:09:58,625 --> 00:10:01,415 You think this world is just there for your amusement?! 216 00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:04,138 You are not to leave this room, and you are not allowed to use 217 00:10:04,164 --> 00:10:06,348 - the phone or computer! - Please! 218 00:10:06,374 --> 00:10:07,808 You can't do that! I have to find a way out of 219 00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,918 - this! - Oh, no, mister. 220 00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:12,481 You are grounded! [ Door slams ] 221 00:10:18,178 --> 00:10:20,096 [ Door opens ] [ Door closes ] 222 00:10:20,122 --> 00:10:23,879 - Are you [Bleep] with me? - What? What do you mean? 223 00:10:23,905 --> 00:10:26,323 Butters, I'm seriously. Are you [Bleep] with me? 224 00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:29,767 - I don't know what you mean... - Because if you are, it's not cool. 225 00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,213 Eric, you said you were gonna 226 00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:32,656 get me out of this virtual world. 227 00:10:32,682 --> 00:10:35,122 Butters, I talked to oculus customer service, and they said 228 00:10:35,148 --> 00:10:37,484 I'm the one who's wearing a headset and has forgotten he's 229 00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:38,844 - in virtual reality. - Oh, really? 230 00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:41,071 - Oh, that's a relief. - Oh, it's a relief, huh? 231 00:10:41,097 --> 00:10:43,137 Well, guess what, Butters. If I'm the one trapped in 232 00:10:43,163 --> 00:10:45,461 virtual reality, that means that you're nothing but a computer 233 00:10:45,487 --> 00:10:47,104 - program! - Oh, God! 234 00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,211 - That's right! - Oh, God! 235 00:10:48,237 --> 00:10:50,371 That's right! Now, you better stop messing 236 00:10:50,397 --> 00:10:51,831 around Butters so I can help you out of this. 237 00:10:51,857 --> 00:10:53,629 Because you know how I said if you die in virtual reality, you 238 00:10:53,655 --> 00:10:55,222 - die in real life? - Yeah. 239 00:10:55,248 --> 00:10:56,948 Well, if you get grounded in virtual reality, you get 240 00:10:56,974 --> 00:10:59,931 grounded in real life, too... Forever! 241 00:11:01,321 --> 00:11:03,129 [ Cellphone rings ] 242 00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:05,269 Hello? 243 00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:08,564 Kyle, it's Butters. I've been grounded! 244 00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:11,009 - Again? - No, no, you don't understand. 245 00:11:11,035 --> 00:11:13,503 This time, I've been grounded for no good reason. 246 00:11:13,529 --> 00:11:16,231 - I didn't do anything, Kyle. - Uh-huh. 247 00:11:16,257 --> 00:11:18,358 I think there's something supernatural going on. 248 00:11:18,384 --> 00:11:20,919 I asked my dad why I was being grounded, and he said that for 249 00:11:20,945 --> 00:11:23,013 asking him, that I was more grounded. 250 00:11:23,039 --> 00:11:25,808 - It doesn't make sense! - Butters, Butters I'm... I'm 251 00:11:25,834 --> 00:11:27,702 - kind of super busy right now. - Please! 252 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,160 Just go to Cartman's house! I think the answer might be 253 00:11:30,186 --> 00:11:31,066 - within the... - Butters! 254 00:11:31,092 --> 00:11:34,895 - Who is that?! - Aah! 255 00:11:35,710 --> 00:11:37,811 [ Keypad beeps ] Mrph! 256 00:11:44,714 --> 00:11:46,881 You found Cartman like this, and you think he's somehow 257 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,910 - trapped in virtual reality? - Mrph! 258 00:11:50,936 --> 00:11:53,638 - [Bleep] you. - Mrph? 259 00:11:53,664 --> 00:11:55,732 - Get up, Cartman. - Mrph rmhmhm rm! 260 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,477 Okay, then let's take him to the hospital. 261 00:11:57,503 --> 00:12:00,004 You hear that, fatso? You're going to the hospital! 262 00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:04,426 - Kyle, maybe this is for real. - [Bleep] you if you're in on this. 263 00:12:04,452 --> 00:12:06,091 In on what? 264 00:12:06,897 --> 00:12:10,667 - Oh, [Bleep] you. - Yes, no, sorry. 265 00:12:10,693 --> 00:12:13,013 But because you bought two business-class tickets, I cannot 266 00:12:13,039 --> 00:12:15,492 refund the fares. That's right. 267 00:12:15,518 --> 00:12:17,852 There is nothing we can do. All right. 268 00:12:17,878 --> 00:12:20,021 Have I answered all your customer concerns in a timely, 269 00:12:20,047 --> 00:12:22,282 polite manner? Thank you for calling Korean 270 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,589 airlines customer service. El pollo loco customer service. 271 00:12:24,615 --> 00:12:26,639 - This is Steve. - Oh. 272 00:12:26,665 --> 00:12:28,926 Uh, we're trying to reach oculus customer service. 273 00:12:28,952 --> 00:12:31,053 Oh, yes. Uh, yes, my friend. 274 00:12:31,079 --> 00:12:33,114 Oculus customer service. This is Steve. 275 00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:35,526 Yeah, our friend had been missing for a few days, so we 276 00:12:35,552 --> 00:12:37,887 went and checked on him, and he's in a coma, wearing your headset. 277 00:12:37,913 --> 00:12:39,138 Oh, yes, yes! 278 00:12:39,164 --> 00:12:41,398 - What is your name, please? - Kyle. 279 00:12:41,424 --> 00:12:44,600 Kyle, I need to advise you that this call may be recorded 280 00:12:44,626 --> 00:12:46,894 to help with better customer service in the future. 281 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,256 - Is that agreeable to you? - I don't care. 282 00:12:49,282 --> 00:12:51,383 He doesn't care! I can continue! 283 00:12:51,409 --> 00:12:53,677 All right, listen very carefully, my friend. 284 00:12:53,703 --> 00:12:57,039 The headset we sold you are having some minor problems. 285 00:12:57,416 --> 00:12:59,584 You mean he's actually stuck in virtual reality? 286 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:02,044 Yes, and that is why we are trying to locate all the 287 00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:04,640 headsets and do a recall. Do you understand? 288 00:13:04,666 --> 00:13:07,234 It is a total recall. 289 00:13:08,016 --> 00:13:10,024 [Bleep] you. 290 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,100 - [Bleep] You what? - He says they're doing a total recall. 291 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,778 Oh, [Bleep] you. 292 00:13:14,804 --> 00:13:16,571 All right. Did I take care of all your 293 00:13:16,597 --> 00:13:19,532 customer needs in a timely and satisfactory fashion today? 294 00:13:19,558 --> 00:13:21,192 You haven't done anything yet. 295 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,455 But the customer service... Was that reliable, and did I 296 00:13:24,481 --> 00:13:27,116 accurately and politely respond to your concerns? 297 00:13:27,142 --> 00:13:29,143 We need help. Our friend is in a coma. 298 00:13:29,169 --> 00:13:32,475 Uh, let's see. Uh, it looks like one of you is 299 00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:35,079 going to have to put on the oculus headset and go into the 300 00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,302 virtual world and convince your friend to get to an access 301 00:13:37,328 --> 00:13:40,060 point. Could you try that, my friend? 302 00:13:45,385 --> 00:13:46,766 It's okay. 303 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:49,022 Everything is cool. Don't let anyone mess with your 304 00:13:49,048 --> 00:13:50,756 head, and it's all gonna be fine. 305 00:13:50,782 --> 00:13:52,763 You're cool, Eric. You're cool. 306 00:13:52,789 --> 00:13:56,266 [ Doorbell rings ] [ Dramatic music plays ] 307 00:13:56,292 --> 00:13:58,188 Hey, Cartman. I need to talk to you. 308 00:13:58,214 --> 00:14:00,935 I know. Let's go to the backyard. 309 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,031 [ Birds chirping ] Cartman, I'm going to tell 310 00:14:07,057 --> 00:14:09,624 you something, and I need you to believe me, even if it seems 311 00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:12,548 - impossible. - Okay, Kyle. 312 00:14:12,574 --> 00:14:17,222 All right, here it goes. Cartman, you aren't really here. 313 00:14:18,445 --> 00:14:21,209 Mm. And why do you know that, Kyle? 314 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:24,855 Because I saw you, okay, in your room, passed out with a 315 00:14:24,881 --> 00:14:27,382 VR headset on. Customer service said that one 316 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,609 of us needed to put on the headset and come get you, and 317 00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:32,549 - that's why I'm here. - Mm-hmm. 318 00:14:32,575 --> 00:14:36,178 I know it's hard to believe, but you have to trust me. 319 00:14:36,204 --> 00:14:39,005 And why did the guys send you, Kyle? 320 00:14:39,031 --> 00:14:41,171 - What do you mean? - Kyle, I want you to brace 321 00:14:41,197 --> 00:14:42,966 yourself. This is going to be extremely 322 00:14:42,992 --> 00:14:45,948 hard to believe, but you are the one that's been in a coma with 323 00:14:45,974 --> 00:14:48,727 the VR headset on. [ Music stops ] 324 00:14:48,753 --> 00:14:49,845 [Bleep] you. [ Music resumes ] 325 00:14:49,871 --> 00:14:52,437 I know it's hard to grasp, Kyle, but I was the one sent by 326 00:14:52,463 --> 00:14:54,558 customer service to try and convince you that none of what 327 00:14:54,584 --> 00:14:57,304 you've seen is real. You bought the oculus rift 328 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,331 - headset, Kyle. - Don't do that. 329 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,658 - Calm down. - No! 330 00:15:00,684 --> 00:15:02,485 I put your headset on and came here to... 331 00:15:02,511 --> 00:15:04,079 In virtual reality, yes, you did. 332 00:15:04,105 --> 00:15:06,340 No. Then I came into this virtual space. 333 00:15:06,366 --> 00:15:08,622 You've been in the virtual space all along, Kyle. 334 00:15:08,648 --> 00:15:10,983 Think about it. We're archrivals. 335 00:15:11,009 --> 00:15:15,212 Why would the guys send you in to convince me of anything? 336 00:15:15,238 --> 00:15:17,349 [Bleep] you. Why would they send you in to 337 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,074 convince me of anything? [ Music stops ] 338 00:15:20,348 --> 00:15:21,301 [Bleep] 339 00:15:25,743 --> 00:15:28,311 Thanks for calling best buy. How can I direct your call? 340 00:15:28,439 --> 00:15:30,310 Yes. My name is Kyle Broflovski. 341 00:15:30,336 --> 00:15:32,904 Can you tell me if I purchased an oculus rift headset there? 342 00:15:32,930 --> 00:15:35,687 - Or if I did. - Or if you sold one to an Eric Cartman? 343 00:15:35,713 --> 00:15:37,164 I'm gonna have to connect you 344 00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:39,725 to customer service. Hang on a sec. 345 00:15:39,911 --> 00:15:42,434 [ Telephone rings ] Best buy customer service. 346 00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:43,871 This is Steve. 347 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,176 Dude. What? 348 00:15:47,202 --> 00:15:49,458 - What? Hello? - Yes, hello. 349 00:15:49,484 --> 00:15:51,896 This call may be recorded to ensure good customer service in 350 00:15:51,922 --> 00:15:55,533 - the future. - Dude, now this is getting weird. 351 00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:02,085 Well, this looks like a lovely meal. 352 00:16:02,118 --> 00:16:04,285 Too bad Butters won't be enjoying it. 353 00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:07,048 You hear that, mister? No dinner for you! 354 00:16:07,182 --> 00:16:11,285 While you're grounded, you can just go to bed hungry! 355 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:14,222 Linda, do you remember why Butters is grounded? 356 00:16:14,356 --> 00:16:17,302 - What... what did he do? - Oh, I don't know, Stephen. 357 00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:19,761 I let you handle all the groundings. 358 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,998 It's strange. I don't recall him really doing 359 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:26,927 anything particularly bad, and yet... and yet he is grounded. 360 00:16:28,337 --> 00:16:31,401 [ Thumping ] And no bouncing a racquetball, either! 361 00:16:31,652 --> 00:16:33,227 No, listen, I called customer 362 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:36,592 service because I need help. What am I supposed to do? 363 00:16:36,618 --> 00:16:39,420 Wait. Stan? Hold on. 364 00:16:39,446 --> 00:16:42,148 Is this my virtual reality or Cartman's virtual reality? 365 00:16:42,174 --> 00:16:44,243 It's neither. I know this might be hard for 366 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:47,799 you to grasp right now, but this is all actually real. 367 00:16:48,128 --> 00:16:50,330 No, no, after we found Cartman, I put the headset on 368 00:16:50,356 --> 00:16:51,893 - and... - No, dude, dude, we've all 369 00:16:51,919 --> 00:16:55,094 - been here the entire time. - Holy shit. 370 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:59,555 Then this is all real. We've all been here from the beginning, 371 00:16:59,581 --> 00:17:01,915 taking turns on the oculus rift headset. 372 00:17:01,941 --> 00:17:03,692 No, you guys, this is virtual reality. 373 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:07,278 - How do you know? - Because I'm a computer program. 374 00:17:07,304 --> 00:17:09,730 God damn it, Cartman. 375 00:17:09,756 --> 00:17:11,040 I'm telling you guys. I swear. 376 00:17:11,066 --> 00:17:13,200 You have to believe me. I am a computer program. 377 00:17:13,234 --> 00:17:15,235 - I'm not real. - He's lying. 378 00:17:15,261 --> 00:17:17,792 I'm not lying. Go ahead and ask customer service. 379 00:17:19,224 --> 00:17:22,158 What was the name of the person who first called you for customer service? 380 00:17:22,184 --> 00:17:24,852 Oh, yes, yes, yes! That I can answer. 381 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:28,792 - His name was... Butters. - Butters called customer 382 00:17:28,818 --> 00:17:29,761 service first? 383 00:17:29,887 --> 00:17:31,254 Have I answered all your 384 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,121 questions in a satisfying and courteous manner? 385 00:17:33,147 --> 00:17:34,848 Come on. We're going to Butters' house. 386 00:17:35,268 --> 00:17:38,709 Hello? My friend? My friend, I believe we are 387 00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:41,169 having some technical issues with our phone line. 388 00:17:41,195 --> 00:17:42,835 Please hang on. I'm going to call customer 389 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,862 service. [ Telephone rings ] 390 00:17:44,888 --> 00:17:46,956 Hello. Customer service. This is Steve. 391 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:50,518 [ Indian accent ] Hello. This is Steve with customer service. 392 00:17:50,544 --> 00:17:51,977 Uh, no, no, no, no, my friend. 393 00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:53,998 I am Steve with customer service. 394 00:17:54,024 --> 00:17:56,717 Listen, my friend. This is going to be very hard to 395 00:17:56,751 --> 00:17:59,917 comprehend, but none of what you are seeing is real. 396 00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:03,564 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 397 00:18:03,590 --> 00:18:05,929 My friend, my friend, my friend, a customer who was in 398 00:18:05,955 --> 00:18:09,375 virtual reality called customer service, and it has created a 399 00:18:09,401 --> 00:18:13,569 customer feedback loop, okay? Here in India, we call it a 400 00:18:13,595 --> 00:18:15,667 customer feedback vindaloop. 401 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,972 Oh [Bleep] you. 402 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,804 No, no, no, no, no. Do not [Bleep] me because I am 403 00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:24,799 you, and then we will just be [Bleep] ourselves! 404 00:18:24,825 --> 00:18:27,460 Now, have I provided answers to your questions in a courteous 405 00:18:27,486 --> 00:18:29,599 and prompt fashion? 406 00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:32,020 What do you mean, have you 407 00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:35,138 answered all my questions? No! You have not answered any 408 00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:36,674 questions at all! No, no, no, no, no. 409 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,801 Listen. Listen. If I didn't answer your 410 00:18:38,842 --> 00:18:41,108 questions, then we have given bad customer service. 411 00:18:41,134 --> 00:18:43,035 But you didn't answer any of my questions! 412 00:18:43,061 --> 00:18:45,638 Well, what is more important, my friend... the result or good 413 00:18:45,664 --> 00:18:48,853 - customer service? - I'm troubled I'm troubled in 414 00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:54,820 mind. if Jesus don't help me I surely will die. 415 00:18:54,846 --> 00:18:57,088 - Butters! - Ah! What? 416 00:18:57,121 --> 00:18:59,272 - But you guys can't be here. - Why not? 417 00:18:59,298 --> 00:19:02,050 Because I'm grounded. That means no visitors. 418 00:19:02,076 --> 00:19:04,550 Butters, when did you call oculus rift customer service? 419 00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,495 When we were playing with the oculus headset. 420 00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:09,196 Don't you guys remember? We were all messing around with it. 421 00:19:09,222 --> 00:19:10,583 I played with it first and went 422 00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:12,173 a little nuts. I forgot I was in virtual 423 00:19:12,199 --> 00:19:15,368 reality and I got grounded and now I'm grounded in real life. 424 00:19:15,394 --> 00:19:17,164 So, now we are in the real world? 425 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:20,223 - Yes! - You guys, I have accepted the 426 00:19:20,249 --> 00:19:22,072 reality that I am just a computer program. 427 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,455 The fact is that one of us right now is in a room wearing a VR 428 00:19:25,489 --> 00:19:28,299 headset, seeing all this, and it's not me. 429 00:19:28,325 --> 00:19:29,826 Butters! [ Tribal music playing ] 430 00:19:29,852 --> 00:19:31,213 - Aah! - What are your friends doing 431 00:19:31,239 --> 00:19:33,512 - here?! - I'm sorry, dad! 432 00:19:33,538 --> 00:19:35,773 Hello? Hello, my friend? Are you still there? 433 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,743 - Yes, we're here! - Listen carefully, my friend. 434 00:19:38,769 --> 00:19:41,504 You are stuck in a paradox. It turns out there are three 435 00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:43,234 things you cannot do in virtual reality. 436 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:46,533 You cannot die, you cannot get grounded, and you cannot call 437 00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,987 customer service. This is why you are having 438 00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,414 - problems. - You just don't get it, do you? 439 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,007 So, then how much of what has 440 00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:54,756 happened was in virtual reality? 441 00:19:54,782 --> 00:19:58,773 That does not matter! There is only one thing that matter? 442 00:19:58,799 --> 00:20:00,165 What? 443 00:20:00,191 --> 00:20:03,293 Have I answered your questions satisfactorily and 444 00:20:03,427 --> 00:20:06,763 - offered good customer service? - That doesn't make sense! 445 00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:08,957 That's the paradox! Please, my friend! 446 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,768 Please! I am not real! 447 00:20:11,902 --> 00:20:14,737 You are not real! Have I answered your questions 448 00:20:14,872 --> 00:20:17,056 and provided good customer service? 449 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:20,143 - This call may be recorded! - You're getting it now! 450 00:20:20,277 --> 00:20:22,445 Yes! Yes, you've answered all my 451 00:20:22,563 --> 00:20:27,646 questions, and I am pleased with the customer service I've been provided! 452 00:20:30,844 --> 00:20:33,896 You guys? Are you there? 453 00:20:33,922 --> 00:20:35,339 We're right here, dude. Do you remember now? 454 00:20:35,762 --> 00:20:38,187 Yeah, I remember. I'm heading back to the access point. 455 00:20:40,562 --> 00:20:42,941 Oh, my gosh. 456 00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:44,584 - Linda. - What is it, Stephen? 457 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:47,645 It's Butters. He's not grounded anymore. 458 00:20:47,882 --> 00:20:51,070 - He's not? - No, I-I've got to tell him. 459 00:20:51,804 --> 00:20:54,868 Butters? Butters! 460 00:20:54,942 --> 00:20:57,873 - [ Groans ] - You can go outside and play, son. 461 00:20:57,899 --> 00:21:02,408 - You... y-you mean... I'm not grounded? - No. 462 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:05,296 I don't know why or how, but it's over. 463 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,767 They did it! They figured it out! 464 00:21:07,839 --> 00:21:10,119 Whoopee! 465 00:21:10,479 --> 00:21:12,811 All right, I'm nearing checkpoint Alpha. You guys still there? 466 00:21:12,837 --> 00:21:14,667 We're here, dude. Just a little further, and we 467 00:21:14,693 --> 00:21:16,255 can finally end this. 468 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:19,402 - Okay, I'm back in Cartman's room. - All right, Stan, just sit 469 00:21:19,428 --> 00:21:22,564 - down at the computer. - All right, dude. 470 00:21:22,590 --> 00:21:25,157 - Take off the headset. 471 00:21:28,485 --> 00:21:32,226 So, aside from all the bullcrap, what do you think are the Ocupus? 472 00:21:33,029 --> 00:21:37,638 It's pretty cool, but the graphics suck. 473 00:21:37,906 --> 00:21:41,258 sync and corrections by dreaMaker7 www.addic7ed.com 36810

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