Original subtitles

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too long has fast neglecting nature's

laws debased the stage and wronged the

comic

cause to raise a laugh has been her sole

pretense the dearly purchased the price

of

sense this child of folly gained increas

with time fit for the place succeeded

panm revived her honors joined her moly

band and sng them low conceit or around

the land more generous views inform our

author's

breast from real life his characters are

dressed he seeks to trace the passions

of mankind

and while he spares the person Paints

the

mind in pleasing contrast he attempts to

show the vaporing bully and the Fring

bow cowards alike that full of Marshall

airs and this as tender as the silk he

wears

[Applause]

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The Bard whose hopes on Comedy

depend must strive instruction with

delight to

blend while he who bounds his less

aspiring views to fast the com brush of

the comic Muse with pleasantry alone may

fill the scene his business chiefly this

to cure the spleen to raise the pensive

mind from grave to Gay and help to laugh

our thoughtful far away

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dearest darling

ril my love for you remains fixed and

Ardent these long 6 months past since

you're being called away have weighed

heavy in my heart my ears tingle my face

flushes my heart beats and I tremble

every jot of me until your return

puff what news from the commander oh it

should be just one more final push to

break the line

sir pray sir may I be so

[Music]

bold pick up your flats and Sharps pop

we must have had them

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oh

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of has our B essays to please the town

your full Applause outpa his little art

he boasts no merit but a grateful heart

pronounce your doom he'll patiently sub

me ye Sovereign judges of all works of

wit do you the or is brought a lifeless

MTH you give the stamp and then the coin

may

pass this is the place we were directed

to and now puff if I can get no

intelligence of what will become come of

me and me too sir why did you leave the

army so abruptly and not give me time to

fill my napsack with the common

necessary I was wild to get away and as

soon as I obtained my leave of absence I

thought every moment and age till I

returned to the place where I first saw

this

young

Charming innocent bewitching creature

with

15,000 to her Fortune strong motives I

must

confess well praise sir did you take far

before you knew of her Fortune before

upon my honor Folly and

Constitution but answerer now we are

gotten to the place of action propose

your plan of operation my father lives

but in the next street so I must Camp

immediately for fear of discoveries but

you are not known to be my servant

therefore make what inquiries you can in

the neighborhood and I shall wait at the

in for your intelligence I'll uh Patrol

hereabouts and examine all who pass but

uh s I've I've forgotten her name Miss

biddy Belair Miss biddy Belair a woman

of wit Beauty and 15,000 Fortune oh but

sir what path if it please you to

consider I had a wife in town whom I

left somewhat abruptly half a year ago

you'll think it but decent I believe

don't distract me a moment's delay is of

the utmost consequence I must insist

upon an immediate compliance with my

commands

the devil is in these fiery young

fellows let me acquaint you with the

particulars of his passion when the

captain left the university which is 7

months since his father who loves his

money better than his son would not

settle a farthing upon him instead he

purchased him a pair of colors at my

Master's own request but before he

joined thank you before he joined his

regiment which was going abroad he took

a ramble into the countryside with a

fellow Collegian to see a relative of

his who lived in barkshire he was

introduced to the family by the name of

doil I assure you Bob Miss biddy belir

is a young woman of sensible vivacity

and fanciful ideals why R doil you may

not have noticed Bob that since her

arrival here she has done only two

things shot timid glances in your

direction and had her nose firmly

planted in marriage alamode

do it

is Miss Felicity fet place your servant

William I believe you've met my friend

Miss biddy Belair Enchanted may I

introduce my good friend

ril the captain took fire at once and

vowed Eternal constancy ril what a

coincidence William

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at the end of 3 weeks he was obliged to

attend the call of Honor in Flanders

[Music]

as soon as he was given leave of absence

the captain left the Army to fulfill his

promise of returning to miss biddy at

the first

opportunity we did so but we found the

house shut up and all the information we

could get was that missant were removed

to town and lived somewhere near this

part of

us get

here who's

that my old acquaintance Jasper

what puff are you here my dear

friend still easy and happy to your M

what intrigues now what girls have you

ruined since you and I used to beat up

together business has been very brisk

during the war men are scarce you know

not as I can say I Ever Wanted Amusement

in the worst of times arey P oh not a

word alowed I'm incognito why

faith I should not have known you if you

had not spoke first I should say you are

a little disabil too as well as

Incognito are you from the Wes piping

hot I can assure you Jasper and smoke

will tarnish men that go into such

Service as I have been in will find

their clothes a little worse for

where but how is it with

you you're still serve I see I suppose

you live in that house there I don't

absolutely live but I have most of my

time there I have Within These 2 months

entered into the service of an Old

Gentleman who hired a reputable servant

and dressed him as you see because he

has taken it into his head to fall in

love a false appetite in second

childhood pry what's the object of his

passion no less a virgin with

£15,000 the toothless old doter mumbles

and plays with her till his mouth Waters

and he Chuckles till he cries and he

calls it his bid and his b bidy what is

that her name is Biddy miss bidy the

same to be sure I have no

luck oh I have heard of her but is it

settled is the marriage fixed not

absolutely the girl I believe detests

him but her aunt a good prudent lady has

given her consent if he can gain her

nieces how it will end I can't

tell but I am hot upon myself the devil

not marriage I hope oh that is not yet

determined who is the lady a maid in the

same family a woman of Honor I assure

you oh she has one husband already a

scoundrel sort of fellow who was run

away from her enlisted as a soldier so

she hopes towards the end of the

campaign to have a certificate he's

knocked out the head if not I suppose we

shall settle matters another way well

speed the plow B hary consumate without

the certificate keep your neck out of

the collar do I've worn at these two

years past and dambly gold in my bir I

shall take your advice uh but I must run

away to my master who will be impatient

for an answer to his message if you have

an hour you'll catch me at George's or

the tiltyard or of War as we say

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abroad thus we are as civil and as false

as our betters Jasper and I ever hated

each other yet we always kiss and shake

hands but now to my master with a head

full of news and a Heart full of

joy angels and Ministers of Grace defend

me it can't

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be it is that fretful

porcupine my wife what should I

do I'll try to avoid her it must be him

h s to the Rogue at a Mile's

distance he either has not seen

me or won't know me I sweat I tremble

she comes upon me pray good sir if I may

be so

bold I have nothing for you good woman

pray the me be if your honor pleases to

look this

way this kingdom is overrun with beggar

I suppose the last I gave to a sent this

one but I I have no more loose silver

about my person pry away with you can

hold no

longer oh you villain you why have you

been scoundrel here watch watch zun I

should have my pockets picked don't meet

this minute time dog and confess it

everything or by The Rage of an injured

woman I'll raise the neighborhood

throttle you and send you to

Newgate

basement what my own dear

tag

oh come to my arms and let me press thee

to my heart which pants for thee and

only thee my one true and loveful wife

tell me

Rascal why you left me and where you

have been these six months we save my

Adventures for our happy Winter evenings

and all I'll say for now is that my

heart beats so strong in my country you

expect me to starve villain and beg my

bread I left you a little too hasty I

must confess and often has my conscience

stung me for it but I am gotten into an

officer's service have been in some

actions gained some credit by my

behavior and I now returned with my

master to indulge in the gentler

passions don't think to fob me off with

this nonsensical

talk what have you brought me home

beside

honor and immoderate love I dare your

eyes out Temperance or I walk Temperance

traitor

Temperance what can you say for

yourself leave me to the wide world why

I have been in the wide world too what

would the woman have reduce me to the

necessity of going to service why I have

been in service too huh your Lord and

Master come where does thou live he

about give me a kiss and tell me where

am I pay my duty today there I live at

that house what that house there yes yes

there at that

house aah we're made forever you

you

aah prepare for an inundation of Joy my

master is in love with your Miss biddy

overhead over ears and she with him now

I know she is courted by some old

fumbler and the aunt is not against the

match but my master must marry the lady

and the Old Gentleman may go to the

devil so say no more the dice are

thrown go to your mistress tell her

rofel will be with her immediately now

if the blood does not Mount to her face

like quicksilver in the weather glass

and point to Extreme Hot believe the

whole thing a lie and your husband no

politician whole

tag I had forgot how does Mr Jasper do

Mr Jasper oh

countenance oh fine speak on and uh the

certificate when comes that are you not

a jade are you not a jezebel aren't

you Temperance or I walk

off where are you my old lady calls away

to your master and I'll prepare his

reception

within shall I bring the certificate go

you graceless Rogue you richly deserve

it

[Music]

who was that man you were talking to tag

oh a a a cousin of mine Madam that has

brought me some news of my aunt in the

country where's my niece why are you not

with her she she bid me leave her alone

Madam she's so Melancholy I don't know

what's come over

her the thoughtfulness that is natural

upon the approach of matrimony generally

occasions a decent

concern and do you think Madam a husband

of three score and five tag he protests

to me he is but 5 and 50 he is a rogue

Madam and an old Rogue and a fumbling

old Rogue Al youth or age is all one to

her she is all Simplicity without

experience I should prefer a large

jointure to a small one that's all I

would not force her

inclinations but she's so innocent she

won't know the difference inocence there

just that

Madam is impossible that bidy should

have desires she's but newly come out of

the country I have observed she does not

eat or she does not sleep she sigh and

she cries and she loves

Moonlight these I take it are very

strong symptoms H they are very

unaccountable I must

confess but you speak from a depraved

mind tag her is simple and untainted

she'll make him a cockled though for all

that if you force her to marry him you

shock me with your Co Expressions I tell

you her Chastity will be her God

Chastity never trust to that

Madam get her a husband that's fit for

her and I'll be bound for her

virtue well T but child shall never have

reason to repent of my

severity I was going to my lawyers to

speak about the articles of marriage but

I will put a stop to him now for some

time till we can May

further Discover It heaven will bless

you for your goodness I'll set my pump

at work and draw something from her

before you return I warrant you

oh how unfortunate a poor girl am I I

dare not tell my secrets to anybody and

if I don't I'm undone

[Music]

pray tag is my aunt gone to her lawyers

about me hey ho oh what's that s for my

dear young mistress I didn't die not I

nay never Gul them down they are the

worst things you can swallow there's

something in that little heart of yours

and will burst it at last if you don't

give it vent what would you have me tell

you tag you are afraid I'll betray you

but I may do you some service you little

think of it is not in your power tag to

give me what I

want not directly perhaps but I may be

the means of helping you to it as for

example if you should not like to marry

the old man your aunt designs for you

one might find a way to break his neck

tack or the match either will do indeed

I shouldn't care which so long as I was

clear of

him but I don't think I'm fit to be

married to him you mean you have no

objection to marriage but the man and I

applaud you for it but come courage Miss

never keep it in out with it

all if you'll ask me any questions I'll

answer them but I can't tell you

anything of myself I shall blush if I do

well then in the first place pray tell

me Miss biddy belir if you do not like

somebody better than old soci and love

it hey ho what's hey ho Miss oh when I

say hey ho it means yes oh very well and

this somebody is a young handsome fellow

hey ho and if you were once his you'd be

as merry as the best of us I now help me

out tag as fast as you can when did you

hear from your Galant never since he

went to the Army how so I was afraid the

letters would fall into my aunt's hands

so I would not let him WR to me besides

I had a better reason then let's hear

that too why I thought if I was to write

in and promise him to love nobody else

and should afterwards change my mind

well he might think I was inconstant and

call me a

cette what a simple innocent it

is and have you changed your mind Miss

no indeed tag I love him the best of any

of them of any of them

why have you anymore pray don't ask me N

Miss if you only trust me by half you

can't oh I'll trust you with

everything when we parted I grew

Melancholy and so in order to divert me

I have let two others caught me until he

returns again is that all my dear Mighty

simple

indeed one of them is a fine blasing man

his name is Captain Flash sh The

Undefeated I'm as well known at Cen

Garden as the dial I'll break a lamp

I'll bully a constable bam a Justice or

bil a box keeper with any man in the

Liberties of Westminster

s he's always talking of fighting and

Wars we shall see him this afternoon

before he pressed to come so I gave him

leave while my aunt's taking her

afternoon nap and who's the other quite

another sort of man he speaks like a

lady for all the world never swears as

Mr flash does but wears nice white

gloves and tells me what ribbons become

my

[Music]

complexion pink becomes you very well my

dear a pat

should always be worn

th Billy dimple a friend of mine is a

great maker of batches he recently

informed me of a new French dress maker

opening just across bostom street you

must get your new gown made

there it is just next to the finest tea

shop in London

oh my dear let me look at your

hands what a fright I must make you some

of my homemade lavender oil for the

nails and perhaps some rose water for

the

face whenever I speak he Pats me so and

tries the devil take me Miss biddy but

you'll be my

petion oh what a pretty

creature what do you call him pre his

name is fribble we shall see him too but

by mistake I've appointed them at the

same time but you must help me out with

them well suppose your favorite should

come too I shouldn't care what the game

of the others what's his

name it begins with an

r

h oh I'll be hanged is not

ril I'm frightened at you

you are a witch tag I am so and I can

tell your fortune

too look into my face the gentleman you

love most in the world will be at our

house this afternoon he arrived from the

Army this morning and dies till he sees

you is he come don't J with him tag not

to keep you longer in suspense you must

know the servant of your straon by some

unaccountable fate or other is my Lord

and Master he has just now been with me

and told me of his master's arrival and

impatience my dear dear dag you have put

me out of my waights I'm all over a flut

I shall leap out of my skin did he

really come

tag I think I'm going to faint God give

in the world I put my pink and silver

robings on today I assure you miss you

look charmingly do I indeed though I

must go and look myself in the glass

this minute

yes she has it and deeply too this is no

hypocrisy not art but nature now

performs her part and every word's the

language of the

[Music]

heart to find you still constant and to

arrive at such a critical juncture as

the height of Fortune and happiness

nothing shall force me from you and if I

am secure of your affections I'll stand

for him Madam and give every Assurance

you can ask everything goes on to our

wish sir I just now had a second

conference with my old lady and she was

so convinced by my arguments that she

returned instantly to the lawyers to

forbid the drawing out of any writings

at all and she is determined never to

thwart Miss biddy's inclinations and has

lettered to us to give the Old Gentleman

his discharge at the next visit shall I

undertake the old

Dragon if we have occasion for help we

shall call for you I expect him every

moment therefore I tell you what ril you

and your man shall be locked in my bed

chamber until we have settled matters

with the Old Gentleman do what you

please with me you mustn't be impatient

though I can undergo anything with such

a reward in view one kiss and I'll be

quite

resigned and now show me the way

[Music]

sah when I have you under lock and key I

shall bring you to

reason is your wedding dress ready my

Dove the certificate's coming go follow

your captain sah March you may thank hi

and I have patience to stay so long

I find I love redil

vastly for though my other Sparks

flatter me more I find I can't abide the

thoughts of them now H what shall I do

with my two

gants I must at least part with them

decently

oh oh

no suppose I were to set them together

by the

ears the luckiest thought in the world

for if they won't fight as I believe

they

won't I can part with them for being

cowards and very justly dismiss them my

service and if they will fight and one

should be

killed well the will surely be hanged or

run away and so I shall very handsomely

get rid of

both I'm glad I've settled it so

purely oh

tag they say I think so the door is

double locked and I have the key in my

pocket that's pure but have you given

them anything to divert them I've given

the captain one of your old gloves to

mumble but my ston is diverting himself

with the more substantial Comforts of a

cold venison pastor

what do we do with the next that comes

if Mr fribble comes first I'll clap him

into your aunt's store room why I

presume he is a great maker of marmalade

[Music]

himself begging your pardon miss Mr

fribble is

below send him up I

miss go you

[Music]

go you and watch for the other as soon

as you see him run into us and pretend

it is my aunt then we shall have a just

reason to lock fibble up until we want

him you may depend upon me

[Music]

oh Mr fripple your servant miss bidy

your

slave I should not have come upon you so

abruptly but an accident happened that

so discomposed me that I had to go home

again to take drops indeed you don't

look well I have set my ma to watch my

aunt so we may be surprised by her your

Prudence is equal to your beauty Miss

and I I hope you're permitting me to

kiss your hand will be no impeachment of

your understanding

oh oh I hate the sight of

him I was afraid I should not have had

the pleasure of seeing you pray let me

know what accident you met with and

what's the matter with your hand I sh be

easy till I know well I W Miss B you're

a good Kat I'll must up what Spirits I

have an Endeavor to tell you the whole

Affair thus it was you must know Miss

there is not an animal in the creation I

have so great an aversion to as a hacky

coach fellow as I was coming out of my

lodgings says one of them to me would

your honor have a coach no man said I

not now with all civility

imaginable I'll carry you and your do

too Miss margerie for the same

price on which the masculine beasts

about us fell laughing I turned around

in a

great Passion curse me says I fellow but

I'll TR the and as I was holding out my

hands in a threatening posture

thus he takes a cut at me with this

Whip and striking me over the nail of my

little finger he gave me such Exquisite

torture that I painted away and whilst I

was in this condition the mob picked my

pockets of my purse my scissors my

mocker smelling bottle and my hust

I shall laugh in his

face I am afraid you are in great pain

pray sit down Mr fribble I do hope your

hand is in no danger not in the least

Mama pray don't be

apprehensive a milk ptis a gentle sweat

tonight with a little Mana in the

morning I am convinced I shall be fully

restored but pray Mr fibble do you make

you use of a

huswife I can't do without you Mom there

is a club of us all young Bachelors the

sweetest Society in the world and we

meet at each other's lodgings three

times a week where we drink tea hear the

chat of the day invent fashions for the

ladies make patterns and cut them out in

paper we were the first inventors of

thating

and this finging is the original produce

and Joint labor of our little

community and who are in your pretty set

pre there Phil Whiffle uh Jackie wagtail

my Lord

trip Billy dimples d d and such a sweet

collection of happy creatures indeed

Miss and so we

are but prodigious frackers disconcerted

us somewhat on our visiting day Billy

dimes three drunker naughty women of the

Town burst into our

clubroom broke six looking glasses

scolded us with a slot Basin and

scratched poor Phil whiffle's cheek in

such a

manner that he has kept his bed these 3

weeks indeed Mr fribble I think all our

sex have great reason to be angry for if

you are so happy now you are Bachelors

the ladies may wish and sigh to very

little purpose oh you are greatly

mistaken indeed for I am prodigiously

rallied about

my passion for you I can tell you that

and I'm thought of as practically lost

to our society

already pray Mr fribble now you have

gone so far don't think me impudent if I

long to know how you intend to use the

lady who shall be honored with your

affections not as most other wives are

used I assure you for all the domestic

business should be taken off her hands I

shall make the tea come the dogs dress

the children

myself if I should be blessed with

any for that though I'm a G Mrs FR will

need the life of a woman of quality for

she will have nothing to do but lie in

bed pled cards scold the what a happy

creature she must be do you really think

so then pray let me have a little

serious talk with

you though my passion is not

off oh you wild thing the devil take me

but there's no talking to you why what

would you do with me Mr frel well I vow

I'll beat you if you talk

so look at me in that manner I

could but I won't grow

indecent H but pray sir where are the

verses you were to write upon me I find

if a young lady is to depend too much on

such a fine gentleman as yourself she'll

certainly be disappointed I vow the

flatter I was put into this morning has

quite turned my senses but here they are

and I believe you're like him there can

be no doubt of it oh my dear Creator who

dressed your head this morning they've

made a fright of you when we are settled

I shall dress your head myself pray read

the verses to me Mr fribble oh I am B

William F esire to Miss B

Bella

[Music]

greeting

no I so cold so hard as I still want

warmed and softened by your eye and now

my heart dissolves Away In Dreams by

night and size by day

oh no

brutal passion fires my breast which

lows the object when possessed but one

of gentle harmless kind

whose Joys are

centered in the

mind so take with me Love's better part

his Downy RNG but not his

Dart how do you like him very pretty I

must confess but I don't quite

understand

him these lighter pieces are never so

well understood in Reading as in singing

I have said myself and shall Endeavor to

give him to

you I have an abominable cult and can't

sing a note however the tun's nothing

the manners

all you're on you're on you're on Madam

what's the matter hide Mr frle tag or

we're all ruined For Heaven's Sake put

me anywhere so I don't Dash my C put him

in the store room tag is it a dam face M

tag the floor is B than I indeed it is

not sir I certainly catch my D I need my

camri handkerchief my SM I shall serly

my was my aunt coming no it was Mr flash

I suppose by the length of his

strike he'll be here this minute what

shall we do with him I'll manage him

I'll waren you and try his courage be

sure you're ready to second me we'll

have pure

[Music]

sport well my Blossom here am I what

hopes for a poor dog eh how the mid here

then I've lost the town Dam it not a

shilling to bribe the governor she'll

spring a mine and I shall be blown to

the devil don't be ashamed Mr flash I

have told tag the whole affair she is my

friend I can assure you is she and she

won't be mine I'm certain well Mrs tag

you know I suppose what's to be done

this young lady and I have contracted

ourselves and so if you please to stand

bridesmaid why will fix the wedding day

directly the wedding day sir the wedding

day sir I sir the wedding day sir what

have you to say to that sir my dear

Captain flash don't make so much noise

you waake my aunt I suppose I did child

what then well should be frightened out

of her Wits of me Miss frightened of me

to the cont I assure you you mistake the

thing child I have some reason to

believe that I'm not quite so

shocking indeed sir you flatter yourself

but pray sir what are your pretentions

the lady's promises my own passion and

the best mounted blade in the Three

Kingdoms If any man can produce a better

title let him have if not the devil

mints me if I if I give up an atom of

her he's in a fine passion if he would

but hold it but pray sir you're reason a

little I never do Madam this is not my

method of proceeding here's my

logic my best argument is cart over

arm and if he answers that Madam through

my small guts my breath blood and

mistress are all at his service nothing

more Madam this will do but sir I

profess blood Madam I was bred up to it

from a child I studied the book of fi

and the camp is my University I've

attended the lectures of Prince Charles

on the Ry bana upon the poe and

extracted Knowledge from the mouth of a

cannon I'm not to be frightened with

squibs Madam no no my dear Captain flash

let me Prevail with you to go away this

time your passion is very fine to be

sure and when tag and my aunt are out of

the way I'll let you know when you can

come again come again Madam and suppose

I never would come again what do you

think of that now huh you pretend to be

afraid of your aunt your aunt knows

what's what too well to refuse a good

match when it's of the looky Miss I'm a

man of honor glory is my aim I have told

you the road I am in and do you see here

child no tricks upon

Travelers Mr flash don't be so Furious

come come come few words are best

somebody's happier than somebody and I'm

a poor silly fellow haha that's all H

look you child to be

short for I am a man of

reflection I have but a bag of tell to

say to you I'm in love with you up to

hell and Desperation May the sky crush

me if I am not but since there is

another more fortunate than I a

dear

bidy prosperity to the Happy rival

patient to poor flash but the first time

we meet gum poow will be my pedition but

I'll have the honor to cut a throat with

him you may meet with him now if you

please now may I where is he I'll

sacrifice the villain h

he's put in the Next Room is

it Ram me into a mortal piece but I'll

have Vengeance my blood boils to be at

him don't be frightened Miss I was never

better pleased I assure you I'll fix the

gentleman immediately stay a

little oh what a passion I am in are you

sure he's in the Next Room I shall

certainly tear him to pieces I would

Fain murder him like a gentleman too

besides this family shall be brought

into trouble on my account I have it

I'll look for him in the street and mix

his blood with the puddle of the next

ten no Mr flash let me see the battle I

should be glad to see you fight for me

pray let me see you fight there were two

gentlemen fit yesterday and my mistress

was never so diverted in her life I'll

go fetch him out do stick him stick him

Captain flash I shall love you the

better for it damn you love I wish I

were out of the house oh here he

comes now say some of your hard words

and run him through must take it on my

word he is a bully and nothing else I

know you are my good friend but perhaps

you don't know his disposition I'm

confident he is a coward is he I'm his

man I like his looks but I'll not

venture too far at first speak to him

sir I will sir I understand by way of

Mrs tag here sir whom you sent sir to

inform me sir that you would be glad to

speak with

me then na should sir I can speak to you

or to anybody sir or I can let it alone

and hold my tongue if I see occasion sir

damn it well said Mr F now be in a

passion don't mind his looks he changes

color already to him do don't hurry me

Mrs tag I shall be out of breath before

I begin if you do

sir if you cannot speak to a gentleman

in another manner why then I shall

venture to

say you had better hold your

tongue sir you and I are of different

opinions you and your opinion may go to

the devil take that

[Music]

well said sir the day is your own what's

the matter Mr flash is all your Fury

gone do you give me up Give You Up Madam

no Madam when I am determined in my

resolutions I am always calm it is our

way Madam and now I shall proceed to

business sir V rounce the right entitled

this minute or the very torrent of my

rage shall overflow my reason and I

shall annihilate the very nothingness of

your soul in an instant I wish there was

a comfortable hand to take us both up we

will certainly do each other a PR no you

won't indeed sir bear up to him if you

would but draw your sword and be in a

passion he would run away directly

really did I can no longer con take

myself how unes come on now Savage come

on come on

what's the matter my dear if you won't

fight here's one that will ril these two

Sparks are your Rivals and have been

pestering me these past two months with

their addresses they have forced

themselves into the house and have been

quarreling over me and disturbing the

family if they won't fight pray will you

kick them out of the house what's the

matter gentlemen pray don't part us sir

pray don't part us we shall do you a

Mischief PU look to the gentleman and

call a

surgeon bless me how can he stand under

his wounds am I hurt sir I hurt sir why

pray let me look at you in the

light you have three through the

heart

and several through the small guts come

make it up a round dozen and then we'll

part you come here off

it is the very same sir pray sir have

not I had the pleasure of seeing your

face abroad I have served abroad had not

you The Misfortune sir to be missing at

the last engagement at Flanders I was

found among the dead upon the field of

battle oh he he was amongst the first

that fell the wind of a cannonball hit

him flat upon the face he had just

enough strength to creep into a ditch

where he was found in the most

deplorable condition pray sir what

advancement did you get by the service

of that day my wounds rendered me unfit

for service and I sold out stole out you

mean we hunted him by scent to the water

side then he took shipping for England

and taking advantage of my Master's

absence has attacked his Citadel which

thankfully we are come in time to

relieve and drive his honor into the

ditch again and now

sir how have you dared to show your face

again in an open day or where even the

outside of a profession you have so much

scandalized by your behavior I honor the

name of soldier and as a party concerned

and bound not to see it

disgraced as you have forfeited your

title to honor deliver up your sword

this instant n Captain

not he's a sad scoundrel I wish I had

kicked

him the next thing I

command leave this house change the the

color of your clothes and the fierceness

of your

looks appear from top to toe the wretch

the very wretch thou art or if you put

on looks that bely the native bases of

thy heart be it where it will this shall

be the reward of thy impudence and

[Laughter]

Disobedience oh my dear

rovil what an in Infamous rasal it is I

thank you sir for this favor but I I

must after andc

him uh one word with you too

sir with me sir you need not tremble I

sh use you

roughly I am certain of that sir but I

am sadly troubled with weak

nerves I what too despicable for

correction therefore be gone and if I

see your face here again you're in

insignificance he shall protect you I am

much obliged to you for your

kindness but if I ever have anything to

do with intrigues

again shall I uh relieve you of your

trophy sir take it P for some small

recompense for th it I can't better use

it than its owner pray Mr Fox how did

you get out of your hole I thought you

was locked in I shot the bolt back when

I heard a noise and thinking you were in

danger broke my confinement without any

other consideration than your

safety

Bigg oh the old man run

run s

bigy Where have you've been bsy Jasper

and I have been knocking for as loud and

as long as we were able what were you

doing child Reading part of a play to

tag oh what play

moppet the old Bachelor we just got to

the part of old nickin when we heard you

calling f f child I've never heard you

talk at this rate before I'm afraid you

tag have put these things into our head

I sir hi vow Sir Simon she knows more

than you can conceive she surprises me I

assure you though I have been married

these two years and lived with Bachelors

most part of my life do you hear Jasper

I'm all over in a sweat pray Miss have

you not had company here this afternoon

I thought I saw a young fop go out of

the house as I was coming hither you

might have seen two Simon if your eyes

had been good do you hear Jasper sure

child is possessed and what do they want

here I pray me sir they wanted me and

what do they want with you I say what do

you want with me sir do you hear Jasper

tell me the reason why I say I'll tell

you the reason why if you please Sir

Simon miss you know is a very silly

young

girl and having found out heaven knows

how that there is some little difference

between 65 and 25 well she's ridiculous

enough to go with the latter when if she

taken my advice sir she you're right tag

she would take me eh yes sir as the only

way to have both for if she marries you

the other will follow of course do you

here Jasper it is very true s Simon from

my knowing no better I have set my heart

on a young man and a young one I'll have

there have been three here this

afternoon

three Jasper and they have been coring

over me and one has beat the other two

now Sir Simon if you take up the

Conqueror and kick him as he has kicked

the other two you shall have me as your

reward and my

£15,000 into the bargain what says my

hero now

hey an then Jasper wants to be done back

up and be gone don't fight the match sir

blood and sweat can of be it I'm all

over

agitation where's your aunt you young

cockes I'll let her know she is a base

woman and you and you were in a fine

humor to show your Valor tag go and

fetch the captain this minute while sir

Simon's warm and uh let him know he's

waiting here to cut his throat I locked

him in my bed chamber until you arrived

oh here's an imp of Darkness what would

I give that my son Bob were here to

thrash her spark when I ravish the rest

of the family I believe we had best

retire sir no no no no I must stay and

see her bully first and you hear Jasper

if I put him in a passion do you knock

him down fre keep your temper sir no now

what is the meaning

sir this my father I am

Enchanted what's all this your humble

ser

Captain

Fireball you're welcome back from the

wars Noble Captain I did not think I

would have the pleasure of being knocked

or the head or cut up Alive by so fine a

gentleman well I am under such confusion

sir I have not the power to convince you

of my innocence innocence oh pretty lamb

so you have left the regiment and The

Honorable employment of fighting for

your country to come home and cut your

father's throat his father tag well come

to soon done one stroke does it or if

you have any crims let your Squire there

perform the operation pray sir don't

throw such Temptations in my way hold

your impudent tongue why don't you speak

Mr modesty what is your excuse for

leaving the Army I say my affection to

this lady sir your affection puppy our

love has been long and

mutual what accidents happened since my

going abroad and her leaving the country

and how I have most unaccountably met

you here I am a stranger to but whatever

appearances may be I still am and ever

was your beautiful son he speaks like an

angel tag beautiful sah have you not

rivaled your father no sir you have

rivaled me my claim must be prior to

yours indeed s Simon he does hold the

best title to me sir sir the young

gentleman speaks well and as the for

Fortune will not go out of the family I

would advise you to drop your resentment

be reconciled with your son and

relinquish the

lady I I do so with all my

heart looky son I give you up the girl

she's too much for me I confess and take

my word Bob you'll catch a tartar I

assure you sir Simon I'm not the person

you take me for if I have treated you

any ways ill it was for your son's sake

who had my promises and inclinations

before you and though I believe I should

have made you a most uncomfortable wife

I shall be the best daughter to you in

the

world and if you stand in need of a lady

my aunt is disengaged no no thank you

child you have so turned my stomach

against marriage I have no appetite left

but Bob I wish you Joy hold a little

gentlemen and

ladies everyone here seems satisfied

with me what's the matter puff sir as I

would prove myself worthy of such a

master and the name of soldier I cannot

put up with the least bit of injury to

my honor hey day what flourishes are

these here's the man come forth Caff he

hath confessed to me this day that he

had taken freedoms with my lawful wife

and had dishonorable intentions toward

my bed and I demand satisfaction why the

fellow's brain is

turned and crack too sir come come I'll

settle your punctilios and take care of

you and tag Hereafter provided you drop

all animosities and shake hands this

moment my revenge gives way to my

interest sir you you are my Master's

father and I

submit and

Jasper I once again take you into my

bosom I am your friend again PFF but Hy

I fear you

not and if you lay aside your steel

there I am at your service to

demand you are very good at crowing

indeed Mr

Jasper but let me tell you the fool that

is Rogue enough to brag of a woman's

favors must be a dungill every way and

as for you my dear

husband show your manhood in the proper

place and you need not fear these sheep

biters come Bob let us celebrate your

wedding and I shall drink a half pint

bumper come along

[Music]

everyone good folks I'm come at my young

lady's bidding to say you are all

welcome to her wedding The Exchange she

made What Mortal can here blame show me

the maid that would not do the same for

sure the biggest monster I ever seen is

the doting 60 coupled to

16 thus May each maid the toils almost

entrapped

in

the change old Sir Simon for the brisk

young captain

[Music]

I love these men of arms they know their

trade let dastards Sue these sons of

fire

[Music]

invade they cannot bear around the bait

to nibble like pretty powdered patient

Mr

fribble to dangers Brad and skillful in

command they storm strongest Fortress

sword in hand

[Music]

nights without sleep and floods of Tears

when waking showed poor Miss bitty was

in

taking she's now quite well for maids in

that condition find the young lover is

the best

[Music]

phys and without helps of art or boast

of knowledge they C more women Faith

than all the college

[Music]

s Simon the tinure for your

gout requested quiet man away

away I intend to retire to bath for the

season sir I keep a place in the Royal

cresant Hey Day Madam I too intend to

spend some time in bath if by accident

you should find find yourself on Blow

bladder Street I will bear it in mind

alas of course what pleasure can bring a

woman of your refined taste there upon

my word you are a pretty parcel so would

you accept a kiss to keep you in mind oh

faith I never met such an impudent

fellow my word Miss Felicity I cannot

believe you would deny me this Triumph I

am all too well aware of the duplicitous

manner in which Bob won my young

friend's affections he is a rogue of

your stamp am I forever to be an object

of your ridicule if Fortune Smiles get

me Mr

flash Captain

flash insufferable fool he's a crusty

fellow perhaps we should find somewhere

we could uh quietly

retire for shame no

they're

[Music]

coming

oh I'm afraid the town will be natured

enough to think I've been a little

cockshaved to the captain I hope I'll be

excused diverting myself with Pretenders

[Music]

ladies to fops and braggards N be kind

no charms can warm them and no virtues

bind each Lover's Merit by his conduct

prove who fails in honor shall be false

in love

the huge tall hangman stands to give his

blow and only Waits your pleasures I or

no if you should pit box and gallery IAD

Joy turns his senses and the man runs

mad but if your ear ears are shut your

hearts are rock and if you pronounce the

sentence block to

block Down kneels The Bard and leaves

you when he's

dead the empty tribute of an author's

head

[Music]

my

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

my

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

fore foree

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]