Original subtitles

Papa needs a brand new job.

You're supposed to be up to your elbows in purses with Kat.

You know we need at least four coffees

before we get our minds right.

[phone buzzing]

Do you need to get that,

Mr. Junior Partner?

It can wait.

I assume you're here to see Chelsea.

She's on a latte run.

Okay, I'll wait.

Is this about the wedding band?

You know, I thought after Naomi's wedding,

Chelsea would limit my "father of the bride" duties

to writing checks. And then she reaches out to me,

saying she wants me to lock down

the Splintered Shoulders.

The Fractured Clavicles.

A necessity,

'cause who could have predicted scheduling conflicts,

thanks to Looney Leslie's imaginary wedding?

Hmm.

She's got moves on top of crazy moves.

[chuckles] Yeah.

Speaking of moves, I'm glad we have a moment.

So we can talk about Tomas stepping out on me?

? ?

JOEY: I'm gonna have you arrested.

What did I do?

Crimes against napkins.

You know, if this double date really has you that twisted up-

You know exactly why this napkin had to die.

Deanna.

I keep replaying that ugly scene after the opening.

I can't unsee it.

And she's not all wrong.

That was her grief talking.

This, too, shall pass.

Even when she's angry, she always texts me back.

Which is why I need your help.

You want me to have Randy pick her up?

No. But I do want to tap your other resources

to get through to intractable people.

You don't mean that.

Nothing else has worked.

DANI: Who's there?

I will fight you.

-[shrieks] -ANDRE: There are other things

you can do to me we both enjoy, you know?

You are not supposed to be home. [shrieks]

[both laugh]

It's good to see you.

What, you thought someone broke in to give you a massage?

I have had my fair share of overzealous intruders.

And besides, I would never expect you

-to rush your art for me. -I didn't.

No, I just happen to work best when motivated.

DANI: Mm.

So, how's Anita?

I think we've seen her at her lowest.

I understand.

Come here.

-So now is the climb. -Yeah.

I was just with her.

Yeah, Rowena texted me.

I thought she's my spy.

[chuckles]

Nah, she's community property.

I needed to set up your first surprise

-First? -Yeah.

It's gonna take more than one to get you unwound.

I've got multiple tricks up my sleeve.

Ooh.

Dani?

Mm, just searching

under your sleeve.

That's not a sleeve.

Uh-huh.

Also not a sleeve.

Pants are kind of sleeves for the legs.

[laughs] I missed you, too.

Yeah, I can see that. And feel that.

Okay, so we're gonna do this slow and easy, okay?

Starting with a long, hot shower to loosen up your muscles

so I can give you a lomilomi.

-You can do that? -Yeah.

[scoffs] Woman, once you experience

my particular version, you'll never forget it.

Okay.

Oh, this kukui oil

should be the perfect temperature once you come back.

Not too hot, not too cold.

And all these ingredients should make you

more relaxed than you ever could imagine.

Or we can start now.

SHANICE: Yeah, girl, she's still living

up in here like a ratchet Eloise.

Oh, no, she won't come at me.

And any jury would be on my side.

[laughs]

The panty drop defense? Girl.

Just a sec.

I'm doing all this talking, not enough knocking.

No answer.

Maybe Ted ran to the lobby.

Ah, don't fix your dirty mind

to think about my man in the shower.

[door opens]

Gotta go.

-Hey. -Hey.

I brought you a little something-something.

This surprise is for your mouth.

Mm.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

Well, you had me at "mouth," uh,

but, uh, another woman beat you to it.

TED: Thanks again. [laughs]

Your face was priceless.

[Shanice laughs]

I wanted to get some protein in.

I have a tennis date with Eva later.

-Hmm. -Mm.

What, are you, uh,

taking my liver for insolence?

[chuckles]

The nurses couldn't

keep their hands off my lunch business,

so Ashley got me a deterrent.

These are Shanice's Flavor Bomb Budget Bars,

made with the perfect blend of carrots, lentils and spices.

-Oh, uh... -Don't get me wrong,

I love a good burger, but these will give you

more nutritional bang for your buck.

And they got me through some pretty lean times

in nursing school.

Uh, quit stalling.

Uh, okay, um, hmm.

Let's see.

Oh, uh...

SHANICE: Mm-hmm.

Okay, um...

[chuckles]

Okay, my feelings won't

be hurt if you don't like them.

Yum.

Don't give me the sexy lie detector look. I'm serious.

Hmm. When we take these on that show

where the moguls bid on the next big thing,

they're gonna need to taste them

before they know what's in them.

Hmm. Sometimes unexpected things

come together and complement each other perfectly.

And sometimes they are just pure fire.

Like us.

HAYLEY: Oh, no, Lynette didn't.

Even I don't spend this much in a week.

[scoffs]

Are you kidding?

Oh, you're so cozy.

I'm half tempted to just hang here.

But you know how Kat gets without her caffeine.

Right, and we know her better than anyone.

We're lucky like that.

You know, I'm glad that you got on board

with her moving in with the Grans.

But now we'll both have to suffer Kat withdrawal.

We'll make sure we don't miss anything important.

You and Kat must be loving getting caught up.

I don't want to keep you.

Aren't you sweet? Hey,

we should do a movie night.

You know, the four of us.

You, Kat, Madison, me.

And we could make it wedding themed.

[cell phone chimes]

It's probably Kat nudging.

Oh, it's Madison. One sec.

Okay, where was I?

Oh, right, you know my dad

is having to wedding band block Leslie.

Have you ever seen that movie

with the two brides who double-booked the Plaza?

We should watch that since we're living it.

Mm-hmm, yeah.

Okay, I've wasted enough of your billable hours.

Back to adulting.

But just let us know when for the movie.

Perfect.

Bye.

Tomas Navarro here,

calling for Yasmina in recruiting.

I think that my niece would be all "Time's Up"

when it came to her man harassing a woman.

I got to not be your niece any more in the divorce.

But I'm not bugging,

because Tomas told me what went down.

I'm onto her.

But you're the one who's making a habit of getting played.

Hmm. Yeah? Well, how's that?

Well, who told you about the alleged moment? Hayley?

Oh. [chuckles]

Did Tomas make her the villain in his version?

[scoffs] You really can't see past

her hourglass and that wiggle, can you?

Hmm. Well, Hayley's a lot more than that.

[chuckles] I've seen the whole paint-by-numbers routine.

Befriend the daughter, seduce the father,

break up the family and dig for gold.

Connect all those dots and...

you get a portrait of a woman I wouldn't trust.

Careful, Kat.

You want to stop disrespecting my wife.

Once you stop disrespecting Tomas.

You know, where's the statute of limitations

for the Duprees prosecuting my wife?

Dani and I made peace. Why can't you?

You can't throw away my Aunt Dani for a lesser model

and expect to live happily ever after in her neighborhood.

This is karma.

Hayley can't keep up the "butter can't melt" act forever.

You deserve to know the real her,

and Tomas doesn't deserve to be wrapped up in your mess.

Okay.

What could possibly be in it

for Hayley to disparage Tomas?

Maybe she couldn't have you near someone

who might tell you the truth.

[scoffs] So you throw away your right hand,

someone who was stepping up,

taking on Lynette's case to impress you.

Well, he failed,

so I wound up handling things myself.

We'll never know if he would have won that case,

but we do know he's a better man than you.

You know what? You need to be careful

how high you build him up,

because when he falls, you might not want or be able

to put the pieces back together.

This chilled seafood tower? Six dresses and Botox?

Look, Bill will notice this. What do I tell him?

Me scale down?

Look, stop charging

or you'll be doing your stand-up on the curb.

I never imagined you'd be annoyed about spending money.

[sighs] Just disputing a charge.

What are you up to?

I took too long getting coffees for Kat and me,

so I'm peace offering with biscuits.

Wish I had a bestie coz who delivers.

That's sweet.

You weren't doing so great the last time I saw you.

Yeah, the... the mugging really hit me hard.

You know, a week ago,

a car alarm would have set me off.

No tears today, though.

The meltdown was justified.

Thanks for scooping me up, Chelsea.

Like, with our history,

I-I know that couldn't have been easy.

Some things just cut through everything else.

Healing takes what it takes.

If you need me, I'm here.

I could text you those support groups again if you'd like.

Knowing you're not alone's the first step.

You know, I already felt a little closer to fine, but...

...definitely better now.

Thank you.

I mean it.

Me, too.

[groans]

Those heifers got me messed up. [scoffs]

ANDRE: All right, I'll use my body

and my voice

to tell a story to yours.

I didn't know a massage could tell a story.

Yeah, the "talk story" is a Hawaiian tradition

passed down through generations.

I had the honor of having my first lomi...

from a kahuna, a master healer,

in Oahu last year.

And I know this sounds crazy, but...

Mmm, you know I'm wide open.

...my kahuna took one look at me and saw

that I was at a crossroads, with something that was

weighing heavy on my head and in my heart.

What story did they tell you?

ANDRE: Well, the kahuna used his hands

and they moved along

with the story,

releasing tension.

Mm.

[moans] Go on.

Once there was a handsome warrior

named Ohia.

And there was a beautiful maiden named Lehua.

They fell madly in love,

the kind that's once in a lifetime.

But when the goddess of volcanoes,

when she saw the warrior,

she just had to have him.

Ohia knew how dangerous

and how powerful the goddess was,

but he was still brave.

He told her that nothing would come between him

and the maiden,

and asked her to try to understand

he only had eyes...

-And everything else. -...and everything else

for Lehua.

But the goddess was not having it.

No, she took her revenge.

She turned the warrior into a tree.

That wasn't the happy ending I was expecting.

Well, the gods watched as the heartbroken maiden mourned,

crying a river under that tree.

The gods took pity, but they couldn't reverse

-the goddess's spell. -So what did they do?

They turned the maiden into a flower.

Yeah, and they placed her on the tree.

So the maiden and the warrior could be together for all time.

And to this day, you can see the ohia lehua tree

all over the island.

-Mm. -Yeah, I must have taken

millions of pictures of them.

I'll show you later.

-All right. -Oh...

[both chuckling]

-Andre... -Yeah.

When I heard that story,

it was almost the tenth anniversary

of my parents' death.

And since I was still running from that memory,

I-I didn't make it back here much.

But...

...I promised I'd come home for a friend's birthday.

And the story the kahuna told

about how you should never back down from commitments,

even in heartbreak,

resonated.

So...

...I got on that plane,

and my bravery was rewarded.

I connected with the love of my life

right after I got off that plane

in the DMV.

Andre, I promise I will never turn you into a tree,

even if we have a knockdown drag-out.

Dani, stay with me.

You are a goddess, but you are my maiden.

And you're in a very difficult time right now because of Anita.

But just like the warrior and the maiden's love

endures in the story...

the Duprees will endure.

Anita will endure.

And you...

...you will endure, Dani.

And I will be your strong warrior...

...every step of the way.

That's the best massage I have ever received,

my warrior.

She's fragile.

[scoffs] I didn't see fragile.

It's there.

She's also caring and funny and...

volatile.

And after an explosion, there's

sadness and isolation,

where the only one who can reach Deanna is her brother. But...

her brother shouldn't have to be responsible.

That's my job.

Deanna's out of her depth.

I won't let her retreat to her sorority room cave,

not because of me.

We both know it's not because of you.

It's because of me.

You're trying to flip the script, make Tomas

the villain, when it's your wife who's questionable.

If I were you, I'd focus on how Hayley's math ain't mathin'

instead of whatever this is.

Hmph. Well, everything about my wife

-adds up. -[phone chimes]

Can you say the same about Tomas?

Hmm.

Hayley spreading more lies?

I got distracted,

but I also got biscuits.

-Dad, what are you doing? -Nothing urgent.

I just wanted to let you know the band's been handled.

Look, I got to run.

Thank you, I know you have bigger-

Hey, my family's my priority, sweetheart.

Whether they consider themselves family or not.

Hmm.

Well, if the coffee wasn't already cold,

it'd be freezing because of the chill between you two.

Spill.

I never wanted to be a wedge between you and your daughter.

This isn't about you.

There isn't a man alive I could date who

could live up to...

Doug, in Deanna's eyes.

Nearly every child in the world

feels that way when they lose a parent.

Well, I didn't, because my father was a bastard,

but the Deanna I met

has a lot in common with her mother.

She must have sensed something.

That, or she created her own reality,

something she's always done.

And Donnell?

Felt something was off, down deep.

Telling him the truth freed him a little.

Maybe if we'd been a family that hashed things out,

Doug would have had a different ending.

Or not.

Those secrets did irreparable harm.

If I'm open with my kids about us,

maybe they can finally heal.

-Vanessa- -I'll leave out

the criminal bits,

but...

it's time for them to know their mother.

Who she is and what- and whom- she wants.

I appreciate the conversation, Yasmina.

I'm looking forward to meeting in person.

Yes, it sounds like Stickle and Garrett

is doing exceptional work.

Bravo.

You know Bill's gonna put the hammer down,

so you're already out there hustling. Mm.

Well, if anyone understands the hustle, it's you.

Was it good for you? Hmm?

My mouth is so happy right now.

Damn. Okay, your $20 burger was hittin'.

Yeah, and Shanice's Flavor Bomb Budget Bars.

Not gonna hold you, that's the best energy bar

I've ever had, and at $4.00...

They actually cost just 33 cents.

-I made a dozen. -Hm.

You know nurses do math, too, right?

-Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm.

I know you put yourself through nursing school.

Must have been tough.

[chuckles] I pinched pennies until they screamed.

But times aren't as tight anymore.

But it's almost like the recipes taste even better now

because it reminds me of how far I've come.

Hmm. I want you to take me

to the market with you one day. Hmm?

[laughs]

I would spend all of my pennies to see you in a grocery store.

Okay, I haven't done much shopping on my own lately,

but I can correct that, especially

if it means I get to learn something new about you.

-Hmm? -Oh.

Well, you don't have to follow me down the aisles.

I'm an open book.

Mm. Including about all your past relationships?

I've given you all the essentials.

I fell for more than one guy who cheated on me.

With his ex.

Hmm.

DANI: Is my surprise in the box?

Nope. That is gonna

get you in the mood for the surprise.

For the "something we've never done" portion

-of Andre care? -Yeah.

[pats box]

[Dani laughing]

I mean, just when I think

you have taken me to the heights of happy,

you take me even higher.

To infinity.

How did you even know to do this?

You...

talking about how Saturday mornings,

sneaking down to watch cartoons with Nicole, were perfection.

So here's a taste of perfect.

-Oh, Andre... -Mm-hmm.

And now it's all coming rushing back.

We would always start out by wrestling for the remote,

-but then we'd take turns. -Yeah?

Cartoon versus action?

Nicole liked the thinking shows, of course.

Mysteries, gadgets,

that talking dog McDuff and his crew.

And I wanted to swing like the superheroes

and race the Road Runner, fly in the sky like The Jetsons,

hang out with that wisecracking rabbit.

I wanted to live in a world that had no limits,

all in Technicolor.

Ever the optimist.

[laughs]

Were there any overlaps?

I think we both wanted to be Smurfette.

-Mm. -Stuck with all those boy Smurfs,

Which might explain Nicole's current dating life.

But you know our real common ground?

-Hmm? -Anything singing and dancing.

Those Chipmunks, with their high-pitched voices,

the Jacksons were still in reruns.

We were obsessed.

We were so different,

but when that music hit,

we were just sisters spinning and sliding

and squealing in front of the TV.

Wow. I wish I could have seen it.

You'd need a time machine.

So how about little Andre?

What'd you like to watch? Or were you too cool?

Nah, I thought I was Gerald Johanssen.

Who?

Hey Arnold!'s best friend.

I thought he was the coolest.

He had this high top fade up here.

-He was cool. -I remember that little cutie.

And you?

-Eh... -No!

I'm gonna need photographic evidence.

Cough 'em up.

Still some boxes of photos you don't open?

Yeah.

Maybe we can go through them together sometime.

Yeah. Sometime.

But we don't want the cereal to get mushy.

-Come on. -No, we do not.

To my husband.

For taking me to a simpler time.

So, Dad actually said Tomas was hitting on a client.

He said Hayley said it.

And it's this Lynette woman?

Mm-hmm.

But you don't believe it?

Consider the source.

Well, Dad knows cheaters.

Because he was one.

You know, Dad was so invested in Tomas.

Yeah, and he'd rather throw my boyfriend under the bus

than admit his wife is trifling.

Well, Tomas trifled with your sister once, remember?

Half sister.

And we agreed to never, ever, ever bring up

that bit of tortured history again.

Okay, I did not mean to upset you.

Yeah, well, you failed at that. Big time.

[sighs]

Yes, I received a fraud alert regarding hotel charges.

Bill Hamilton.

Yes, my wife Hayley is on the account.

The guest name?

Lynette Wise.

Yes, she's our guest.

Yeah, no reason for alarm on your end.

I appreciate what you did, babe.

Once the police find that mugger, I think

it's a good idea for you to keep

your distance from Lynette.

I felt bad that Hayley got hurt

delivering papers for my case.

I never asked Hayley to do that.

I guess I just didn't have any idea

how close she and Lynette have gotten.

You asked me to take this case pro bono, remember?

This thing with Lynette is just stressing me out.

Just doesn't sit right with me, her being out there worrying.

You really feel this indebted to her?

If I were you, I'd focus on how Hayley's math ain't mathin'

instead of whatever this is.

? ?

DONNELL: I thought

our driver was actually going to boot us

out the car when he saw all of your shopping bags.

DEANNA: I made them all fit.

Thanks, BTW.

I wanted to bed-rot all day, but you volunteered

as tribute to do one of my favorite things,

and one of your least favorite.

I really needed this shirt for a frat mixer.

Okay, I may have wanted

to keep you from rotting, too.

Deanna, can we talk about Mom?

No, we're having fun today.

I'm starving. Let's see, fried chicken or ribs?

Today? Either...

is going to be served with a side of truth.

-Et tu, twin? -Mom called

when we were at Fenmore's.

But we shouldn't let things lie anymore.

Like Mom lying down with a mobster over Dad's dead-

Watch your mouth.

This is about your father and me and our real story.

Not the one you think you know.

What's that supposed to mean?

You remember when you two took AP Calculus

and your teacher thought you were math geniuses?

Only one of you thought that meant

you could breeze through,

while the other studied her butt off

with her dad tutoring her.

Donnell had to redo assignments plus extra credit

just to break even.

-Oh, I remember. -Oh, I remember.

Sadly, your dad and I were like that with our marriage.

We were so happy and in love

when we were dating and engaged.

That feeling lasted for many years.

We thought we were geniuses at wedded bliss.

No tutoring required.

DEANNA: You're comparing our family's tragedy

to Donnell almost failing math?

I get what Mom's saying,

-and so do you. -VANESSA: We took

the spark, the laughter, the friendship,

all of it, for granted.

Everything except our shared love for you two.

Then, one day, we woke up...

...and realized you were gone,

and we hadn't just drifted apart,

we'd let something beautiful fade.

And it was too far gone to save.

I didn't mean to drop my facts on you like a grenade.

I asked.

But I told you I would never do that to you.

But you're...

Wary?

Mm.

Okay, that's because...

...there was this one guy

-who I thought was the guy. -Hmm.

And he...

well, you know how much nursing means to me.

-That's who you are. -Yeah.

I thought he got that, too.

But, uh...

in the final stretch of my degree,

he just kept dropping hints,

like he needed more attention from me.

And I just thought it was noise,

because, when I mean, final stretch?

And once I graduated, we would be good.

Hmm.

Then I came home one day 'cause I forgot my lunch...

...and I caught him making a meal

of some other woman in my bed.

And we weren't good.

But I was good.

I dodged a player.

I'm sorry. Um...

...for, uh, making a joke, but...

[laughs] I can take a joke.

-I'm Shanice. -Yes, you are.

What I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around

with you, Ted, is...

...how you could cheat on a woman like Nicole.

When did my work friend become my enemy?

Or was this you all along?

You're the one who changed when you became junior partner.

You were so sweet to every assistant and paralegal

from day one, because you needed us

to praise you to Bill,

but as soon as you got that title,

it was "thank you, next" to your cheering section

while you played big man around the office.

Well, listen here, my name's on that letterhead,

and I don't bow,

so if something's off, I'm going all the way up the chain

to my hubby to let him know that something is off

so I can stop it.

Huh. St. Hayley, the hallmark of all that's good

at the Law Offices of Bill Hamilton, Esquire.

Oh, well, if the halo fits...

All I see is the devil in disguise

trying to cover her own ass.

Am I interrupting?

Just taking out the trash.

Hmm.

I take it you're not here for a few friendly hands.

I need your help.

My four favorite words.

Means you'll owe me something.

[Dani giggles] What?

You're on a sugar high.

Maybe I am.

You know the least destructive way

to expend all this energy?

Hmm? No.

Okay.

When our dads cheated on our moms,

we promised we'd wave red flags if we noticed them

in our respective love interests.

What Dad said, plus Tomas turning you down

when you asked move in with him,

plus Tomas's mistakes with Eva,

that's enough flags for one of those Formula 1 races.

I met Lynette and she and Hayley are the baddie skanks here.

[sighs]

Tomas told me about Lynette before the non-incident.

He was just trying to get to the bottom of

Lynette's relationship with Hayley.

And flirting was the only way?

We flirt with bartenders for free drinks, and we're rich.

He wouldn't risk Dupree couture for thrift store bitch.

Plus, I was the one who was dragging on moving in,

so you can lower those flags, please.

Okay, I might have over-waved.

Plus, I just saw Tomas,

and he didn't look even a little sketch.

-Where? -At the atrium,

working like a good boy.

Uh, well, we should take his cue.

Um, we have a Zoom in a few, remember?

Shoot, I need to change.

Aw.

Look at the big man squabbling up.

I warned you, wifey always comes out on top.

I mean, if you need a rec letter,

you know where to find me.

Say hi to your buddy Lynette for me.

What's your poison?

Actually, information on Lynette Wise.

My junior partner couldn't get past the birth certificate,

tax forms and a couple of shots on social media...

...so that HR wouldn't think she's a bot.

Even I have a cookstagram.

No presence at all can look like you have something to hide.

What else?

Well, I helped her beat an embezzlement charge,

but maybe this isn't her first bank or-

Or she's not just white collar.

With the social media scrub,

she could be more than just a few pretty posts.

All right, I'm intrigued.

Well, can you make it fast?

I mean, Hayley's stuck on owing Lynette for saving her.

And what if you don't like what I find on this worker bee?

Well, then...

I guess I'll have to call on the exterminator

and remove the infestation.

When you left for college,

we had more time to realize what we really were to each other.

And what we weren't.

DEANNA: I never should have gone.

Nothing you could have done would have changed anything.

You hear me?

Deanna, Mom's right.

So what happened when we were gone?

I felt something was missing...

...and your dad felt it, too.

At first, I filled the space with work

while your dad was filling it with...

pickup games with his friends...

...then the casino.

We were spending less and less time together.

But we did try, though.

You could have gone to therapy. Love doesn't just go away.

No, but it can change.

And we weren't capable of giving

each other everything we needed.

I-I had a very successful real estate empire.

And... [exclaims]

...there's only so many hours in the day one can work.

Eventually, I had to go home,

where I was reminded that...

I was no longer a full-time mom.

And I wasn't in a...

traditional marriage. And I know

that this is hard for you to hear,

but I have finally

found someone that made me feel alive again.

Joey. There.

I said it.

We're so happy for you, Mom. You should have told us sooner.

I wish I had, too, baby.

-Sis? -Mm?

I'm sure you have questions.

Just one.

When exactly did Joey start making you feel alive?

Was it before or after Dad died?

I will tell you the truth. I'll make no excuses.

Ted, I am not asking you to rationalize your infidelity.

I know you won't make the same mistake twice.

But you're hesitating.

Ted, Nicole and I are night and day.

She is Dupree royalty.

I'm just a regular old Johnson.

She owns, I rent.

Nicole's country club. I'm turkey club.

She is literally grace personified and I am not.

And don't get me wrong, I love me.

But if you could step out on Nicole,

why on Earth would I think you would stick with me?

Well, leave it to you to cut to the heart of it.

That's what I love about you the most.

You're always real and honest with me. [chuckles]

Hold up.

You love me?

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