Original subtitles

Here they come!

Yes.

We're about to find out how the magic

of a carnival unfolds.

Come to daddy.

Get in, we're already late.

Let's get greasy.

Oh, yeah. Ha-ha!

My name is Daniel Petronijevic.

I'm an actor...

Have you ever seen the Milky Way over Lake Titicaca?

...and I've played a ton of blue collar jobs on TV.

May the welding gods be with us!

But I've always wondered,

do I have what it takes to do it in real life?

Well...

We're about to find out...

'Cause this is Blue Collar.

I love carnivals. I love it all-

the sights, the sounds, the delicious, greasy food

that I'm going to stuff down my gullet.

I've always wondered, how does this

beautiful moving machine come together,

which is why we're here with Albion Amusements,

a family-run business for over 50 years.

They're on the road for 25 weeks every summer

setting up carnivals in towns

all across the province,

and they do it all in just 24 hours.

Let's see if I can keep up.

Wait a minute.

We need to get the merry go round

over to the far side.

Hurry up!

Oh-ho-ho! Hi, sorry.

I'm looking for a lady named Carrie.

- Yep, you found her. - You're Carrie?

Ringmaster of the shit show. Nice to meet you.

Ringmaster of the shit show?

Pleasure to meet you. What can I do for you?

Okay, so first off, you're late,

but we are gonna put you on the merry go round.

We're in a hurry.

We gotta get this stuff up, but we have to do it safely.

Daniel, let's get a hard hat over here!

Daniel, get me a hard hat over here!

I'm helping you. Alright, good job.

Daniel. You have an incredible name.

- My name's Daniel. - Hey, nice to meet you.

So safety is number one.

Number two is the cleanliness.

If you can't lick, it's not clean.

- If I can't lick it? - Absolutely.

Carrie is one tough cookie, I'll tell you that.

Let's get started.

Okay, yeah, all I need is that golf cart and

a six pack of cold beers in it, at least.

Absolutely not.

Dan seems like a nice enough guy,

but I'm just worried he's not going to take the work

as seriously as he needs to.

I'll do whatever it takes to show her

that I'm a full on carnie.

I'm putting this hard hat on and I'm ready to engage.

Even if I have to beg, plead,

or deep throat a corn dog...

again.

So, first thing we're gonna do is

we're gonna level the trailer.

Alright, put me to work!

We're gonna have Dan start on the carousel,

which is very important to me.

It's one of our oldest and most cherished pieces.

It'll put him the through the ringer, that's for sure.

There's a few hundred pieces and it's not gonna be easy.

Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum.

Where's it go?

- Jump up here, Dan. - Yes, sir.

I've never done one of these.

Lift it straight up. Tip it out.

I see.

This merry-go-round is about like 50 years old,

but it doesn't look like a day over 49.

I don't know what I'm doing.

We can tell. You're a greenhorn.

You know what a greenhorn is?

Yes! It's a wonderful human being...

with a lot of heart and soul.

Lift your hand, Dan.

This is nothing. It's easy as hell.

Hey, good job though, buddy.

Hey, good job.

Fitting in, getting lots of thumbs up.

As many thumbs up as you can get is what you want.

Around here, when we actually give a thumbs up...

it means this, so...

Hey, Dan, good job, buddy.

Good job, buddy!

Thank you.

Oh, looking good.

See that? Stallion.

- Where's it go? - This way.

Right there, b'y.

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Sorry.

Fucking one-handed, ooh.

Don't drop it there, boy.

No shit, I can't wreck it.

Carrie will kill me.

- Got her. - Yeah.

Whoa-oh!

You almost broke your mother's

fucking favourite thing.

Come on, you piglet.

Get in there, there we are.

I put the very last one in. I'm special.

When are we bringing out the wild ponies?

The horsies. Hyah.

They're coming soon.

Right in the groove.

Groovy.

Now look at these things here.

They're beautiful.

Hey, the carnie fairy fucked off.

It's time to grab a horse.

I want to earn that title of carnie.

Grab it by the hoof. True carnie.

And away we go. Master carnie.

Don't drop him or Carrie will kills us.

Even if I have to grease the palms of Carrie...

I want it.

Pull it up on both sides, yeah.

Money! Hyaw!

This ride's your mom's pride and joy, yeah?

Absolutely. This thing's her baby.

If we break it, you might as well just leave.

And look it, they're pristine.

Absolutely. Hand-painted, my friend.

And what's it like working with your family six months

or whatever of the year on the road?

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

But most of the time, it's good with the family.

We all work together to get 'er done

and move to the next town.

What's the hardest part of your job?

Being away from home for six months.

- Just always travelling. - Takes a toll on ya.

Yeah, of course.

You don't have an at-home life, right.

- Well, people appreciate it. - Absolutely, thank you.

Hey, guys, what are you doing?

Nothing.

You guys wipe that down yet?

Remember, if you can't lick it, it's not clean.

Okay...

- Hey, hey, hey! - Hey.

You're playing, you're not working.

You know, you're gonna get fired.

I'm not!

I'm gonna be an honourable carnie by the end of this.

I'm gonna show you right now how thorough I am,

watch this.

I'm even gonna wash its bum, okay?

Look at that. Nobody washes its bum, do they?

The soap is gone, go around, go, go, go.

Yeah, move all the soap, right.

All of it, okay. Daniel.

Nice to meet you, I'm Jules.

Nice to meet you, Jules.

- Good job. - Thank you.

Look at this, I'm the most powerful

pole cleaner in the land.

Let me show you what you're doing here.

You have the rod...

so, you're gonna do like this just a little.

And you're gonna rub, you want to get it shine.

You're gonna hold it like this,

and you're gonna go like this.

- Okay. - Alright.

So that's what you do.

This is gonna be good enough to dance on.

Know what I mean?

Okay, so you're gonna go up.

Okay, and it's all about the rotation, the twist grip.

- You have to use power. - Power pull.

Go on up.

Right to tippity top.

Alright, pole cleaning extravaganza.

You're doing a good job.

Like you have a lot of practice.

I certainly do.

Finish up, I'm gonna go get Carrie for inspection.

Gotcha.

We always gotta get the tip, right?

Woohoo!

Jesus.

And, the twist grip at the end

for the happy ending.

Mission complete.

How's she looking?

I spent hours on this one.

Well, I'll be the judge of that.

Let me have a look at it, please.

They're gleaming.

So, Dan, would you lick this?

- Already did. - Perfect.

We're good to go.

Holy shit!

Hey Dan, we're not done for the day.

Let's get back to work. There's more to do.

Fun wrecker!

Oh, shit. Thanks, guys.

Hey! You boys get to work over there!

Get out of here, greenhorn!

Ha-ha! Looks like I got more work.

- Eddie, this is Dan. - How's it going, Daniel.

Ed.

Tell me, what are we doing here?

We gotta get this ferris wheel together.

Almost got all the rim iron on,

gotta put canvas around there,

build the fence up around this thing.

Have you ever done this before?

Yeah, I love to go on ferris wheels.

I usually try to go on with a lady and

make out with her at the top.

So you'll be useful, kind of.

- Right here, Dan. - Yep, what do I do?

You're gonna catch it.

- Got it. - You got it?

Now let her down.

Now you're gonna take this out...

Okay.

So, Austin, how long you been working here?

I've been out here my whole life.

I started on the games and then

switched to the rides last year.

Ed's known me since I was about four,

so I've known 'em all for a long time.

- One big bloody family. - Yeah.

Motion!

I'm ready... Good.

A lot of sweat, spit, accidental farts.

Little bit of nervousness and just, just,

they kind of pump out. It's understandable.

- Yeah, just like that. - Like so.

Pins are here.

Primo.

By the time I'm done here,

I will earn that carnie title.

Look at this!

If that doesn't say fucking carnie folk...

I don't know what does.

That says carnie.

You gotta do at least four seasons out here

in order to get the term "carnie".

Honestly, it sounds like my likelihood of being a carnie

is the same as me being a doctor.

- I might be fucked. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I see, thank you.

This is a ton of work that I did not expect,

and shit's sakes, we're not even done half of it.

Yep.

And spin.

Spinning, I forgot about this.

Yeah, there's not very much room.

And push, you're guiding the pole on.

Making sure they marry up together.

Shake the bucket.

Perfect.

Thank you. Thank you.

Let me help you. There you go!

There we go!

Thumbs up to you, baby.

That's it! We're done!

What do you guys do for fun around here?

Oh, we know how to have fun.

- You do? - Absolutely.

Well, fuck, let's have fun!

Ah! It's Fast & Furious!

Why is mine only going backwards?

You gotta turn the wheel, Dan.

There we go. Oh, yeah, watch this.

There goes Eddie.

Nothing says fun like bumper cars!

Ah! Leave me alone!

Agh!

How did you get a faster car than me?

Agh!

Get out of here, Jules! I'll destroy you!

You're mine!

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

- Oh... - Oh, shit.

Guys, what are you doing?

We open tomorrow. Did we forget?

We're just testing everything to make sure

it's working properly.

We're not at that point yet.

The games aren't even ready to go.

We're going above and beyond, okay, Carrie?

It's all we do.

I don't need you going above and beyond right now.

I just need you to do the bare minimum.

I will, I will. Okay, come on.

Just, it's all about love, it's love, okay?

Yeah, great, go to work.

Hey, where'd you guys go?

You are bad.

You're getting me in trouble.

You're getting me in trouble!

So, not only is Dan slacking off,

he's dragging my best workers down with him.

Your mother, she's relentless.

That's why everyone calls her

Scary Carrie around here. - Scary Carrie?

Well, we better not get caught not working here then.

- What is this? - This is the Pluck A Duck.

So we have to clean these ducks one by one.

Hey, duck you. Know what I mean?

- Did you get that? - Good job.

Duckin' right. Let's just get the shit done.

We gotta open 'er up.

We'll dump it fucking right in.

We gotta clean them properly.

- What? - Properly.

- We're not using that? - Yes, sir.

- What do I do with this? - Would you lick that?

Hell, no. Get the duck out of here!

Wah-wah.

Wah... wah.

Carrie is gonna love it so much that I'm gonna get

these ducks washed so fast, that honestly, like,

this is the best way of doing this.

Look, I'm watching his little duck bum. Rinse.

I can't take it anymore.

Know what?

Why did I do that?

I'm not cleaning you well enough, you little shit.

Drown!

Alright, it's done.

And I know they would pass the lick test,

but I'm not licking them, so- Wah!

Oh, yeah.

We're gonna straighten up the stock and then

she should be good to go. - Okay.

Teddy bears nice and neatly inside.

So all you gotta do is throw the ring on the chicken?

Yeah. What are you doing?

I'm choking the chicken.

Be one with the ring.

Ooh!

- Shit, is this thing rigged? - No, you just suck at it.

What?!

It's fucking rigged, I knew it.

Now which one do I want to win?

- I need that monkey. - It's a lemur.

Come to me, baby lemur monkey.

- You gotta earn it. - Oh!

Hey, you guys are good? - Yeah.

No one's looking.

Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, fuck. I'm stuck.

Oh, shit, is that a golf cart?

Let's get the fuck out of here.

- Hey, Dan! - Hi.

What are you doing?

I, I've been working non-stop, sweating.

- Look at me. - Okay.

Listen, do you mind jumping in here?

We've gotta make 1000 bags of cotton candy.

- 1000? - Yes.

1000 bags of cotton candy fucking coming right up.

- First off... - Yes?

- Get an apron. - Got it.

Right away, ma'am.

I'm gonna teach you how to make cotton candy.

Pay attention.

I always do, I always do.

I'm gonna show you this once and only once,

and if you can't do it, you're out of here.

- What is this? - This is sugar.

How many pound of sugar do you think you need?

Right now we'll probably start with about

500 pounds of sugar.

-"Five hun"? - 500, yes.

It's a dentist's dream.

Okay, like, what's the process here?

It's heating up the sugar in the centre,

and then it spins it out, and then I'm gonna twirl it.

Wow, she is so fast at this.

Then, to go in the bag, you're gonna twirl it in.

- Gotcha. - And pull it off gently.

See how nice, and fluffy, and beautiful that is?

Yes.

We're gonna close the bag,

so we have to do it like this.

And make sure it stays fluffy and beautiful.

Say it again.

Fluffy and beautiful.

- Okay. - Okay.

Fluffy and beautiful, go.

- Go. - More.

Fluffy and beautiful, fluffy and beautiful,

fluffy and beautiful.

- Easy, baby! - Oh, wow.

Come to daddy, you sweet loving...

Yeah, we're gonna nickname you Cotton Dandy.

Sounds good to me, my dear, as long as I get to be

an honourable carnie by the end of this.

Well, let's see if you can do better than that.

Oh, that's baby, that's fluffy and beautiful.

There we go, this is beautiful.

- Shit! - Ha-ha!

Nailed it. Look it!

It's gorgeous.

That is lumpy and unsellable.

- It is not. - Oh, Dan.

- Oh... Carrie. - Oh, Dan.

I think you have clearly no idea what you're doing.

I have demonstrated that I am an ample employee.

Tie that up.

No, you've demonstrated that you don't know

how to make cotton candy.

I gotta make it puff out a bit.

- Ready? - Yes, ready.

Did you just blow in that bag?

Yeah, I gotta make it puff out.

Okay, that's it, you're out. Go!

And leave the pink apron. You don't get that.

My cotton candy might be lumpy and unsellable...

but my "moo-lay" is fluffy and beautiful.

Today was exhausting.

Everything hurts- my neck, my back.

I'm here tomorrow, so I think

I'm just gonna sleep here tonight.

Carnival raccoons, please be kind to my nuts.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Daniel! Cory, good to meet ya.

We gotta check the fence on the Sizzler to make sure

it's not gonna crash into the ride.

Alright, make 'er happen. - Let's do it.

It's opening day, and everything needs to run

as smoothly as a Brazilian wax job.

- Ready? - Yes!

I'm just standing out here with my arm,

looking like a bit of an idiot,

but we're making sure everything is totally safe.

Whoa, daddy!

This one's a little tighter, I think.

Someone could grab that fence, right,

so we need to move it out a bit.

There we are.

You wouldn't think people would do that,

but you'd be amazed at what they'll do.

Safety first, huh!

What we're gonna check here...

buckets, to make sure they're not gonna

come undone once we start this baby up.

- We got a lot of work. - Yes.

- We gotta stop talking! - That's right.

We need to do this in a timely manner.

Bro, tell us what's going on here.

This is the main centre gear here.

We gotta grease this baby every single day.

Hey...

Yeah, that's right. You know it.

Most important thing that we grease in the centre here

are the nipples.

We gotta grease all the nipples?

Oh, yeah, all the nipples.

- Secure. - Beauty.

The greasiest nipples.

Always grease the nipples.

Everything's almost ready. All of this for one day.

It's really quite amazing.

The people here are awesome.

Always hard at work.

The team spirit of it all to make this all happen for

everyone, I'm actually honoured to be a part of it.

Try and keep it this way a bit, guys.

Alright, guys, it's show time.

Gates are open, let's go! Show time!

It's opening day!

We built it, we cleaned it, we safety'd it,

and we inspected it.

Now it's just to have some fun.

Oh! Do you even have your license?

I can't believe I even helped build this,

and it's sticking together.

Giddy up! I'm terrified!

Hold on for your lives!

Pretty fast for a ride going nowhere!

Call me Danny Danger.

Yeah, no one's really ever called me that,

so forget about it.

- You will be mine. - Rolling, rolling!

- Oh! - They're going!

That monkey's gonna be mine.

- Woohoo! - Agh! No!

How did you get in here?

Carrie told me that she wants me to take over

and you need to let me work the ride.

Oh, yes, yes, I believe that.

Step right up, folks! Step right up, folks!

Have a wonderful time on the ferris wheel!

What do you think, man?

Can I operate this ride or what?

- Not a chance, buddy. - Come on!

- No, no, no, no. - Why?

Now you're pressing my buttons over these buttons.

- Too green for me, bud. - Too green?

I've been trying all day.

They want let me operate one.

Maybe tomorrow.

The carnival's not open tomorrow.

Yeah, I know.

Overall, Dan did what I would call a mediocre job,

but he really wants to operate a ride,

so I think we're gonna let him

operate the strawberries.

- She's a crazy driver! - Ha-ha!

Alright, all hear ye, hear ye, come one, come all.

step right up, step right up.

Step on in. Hold on, son, you're not tall enough.

Go ask your mommy if you can ride.

Good job, Dan.

Get in here.

I was gonna pull your beard, but I love you too much.

Straight up, thank you very much.

So, congratulations.

You're officially a carnie now.

- Welcome to the club. - Thank you.

Okay, this is legit.

I wasn't too mean, too hard on you?

No, you weren't, you were great.

And strict, which is what some rascals need.

- I think you've matured. - I'm a grown up boy now.

- Well, that's great. - Hold me, mama.

- Oh, hugs, okay. - Okay, entrez vous.

- Oh, thank you. - Pick any one you want.

He who has the last laugh laughs best.

Buckle up, buttercup.

She gone.

Oh, yeah.

Enjoy the ride.

Catch you on the flip side, suckas!

Where are you going? Hey!

Whoa, whoa!

Hey, where are you going, Dan?

- See you later! - Where's he going?

Where's he going? Where are you going?

Victory is mine!

Dan! Get off my golf cart!

Dan!

Wagwan?!

Dan!

I'm a carnie now!

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Going on the roady,

going on the roady.

Let's go get some juice boxes!