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I'm Jimmy. I am the host of the show.
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I'm Jimmy. I am the host of the show.
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I'm Jimmy. I am the host of the show.
Thank you for coming. Thank you for
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Thank you for coming. Thank you for
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Thank you for coming. Thank you for
watching. Thank you for joining us here
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watching. Thank you for joining us here
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watching. Thank you for joining us here
at our our live work facility here in
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at our our live work facility here in
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at our our live work facility here in
Hollywood. I apologize for my voice. I
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Hollywood. I apologize for my voice. I
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Hollywood. I apologize for my voice. I
um you know, I went out. I did some
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um you know, I went out. I did some
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um you know, I went out. I did some
early Christmas caroling last night. I
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early Christmas caroling last night. I
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early Christmas caroling last night. I
hit about a 100 houses. The neighbors
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hit about a 100 houses. The neighbors
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hit about a 100 houses. The neighbors
were very confused, but I like to get a
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were very confused, but I like to get a
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were very confused, but I like to get a
a head start. You know, you know that,
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a head start. You know, you know that,
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a head start. You know, you know that,
GMO, right?
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GMO, right?
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GMO, right?
>> I've also been screaming at the TV and
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>> I've also been screaming at the TV and
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>> I've also been screaming at the TV and
not just at the news. Uh the NCAA
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not just at the news. Uh the NCAA
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not just at the news. Uh the NCAA
basketball tournament is happening. We
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basketball tournament is happening. We
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basketball tournament is happening. We
started the day with the sweet 16. We're
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started the day with the sweet 16. We're
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started the day with the sweet 16. We're
now down to 12 teams. GMO, you were in
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now down to 12 teams. GMO, you were in
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now down to 12 teams. GMO, you were in
what? Third place.
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what? Third place.
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what? Third place.
>> Third place. Yes. You
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>> Third place. Yes. You
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>> Third place. Yes. You
>> That's right. How many people are in the
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>> That's right. How many people are in the
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>> That's right. How many people are in the
office pool?
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office pool?
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office pool?
>> Like 220 people.
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>> Like 220 people.
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>> Like 220 people.
>> Third place. So you must know a lot
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>> Third place. So you must know a lot
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>> Third place. So you must know a lot
about
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about
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about
a little bit. A little bit.
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a little bit. A little bit.
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a little bit. A little bit.
>> Who do you have to win it?
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>> Who do you have to win it?
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>> Who do you have to win it?
>> I have Houston, Jimmy.
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>> I have Houston, Jimmy.
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>> I have Houston, Jimmy.
>> Oh, and they're a number two seed. You
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>> Oh, and they're a number two seed. You
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>> Oh, and they're a number two seed. You
took a number two seed. Why did you take
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took a number two seed. Why did you take
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took a number two seed. Why did you take
a number two?
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a number two?
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a number two?
>> BECAUSE THEY NUMBER TWO. YEAH.
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>> BECAUSE THEY NUMBER TWO. YEAH.
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>> BECAUSE THEY NUMBER TWO. YEAH.
WELL, I TOOK HOUSTON, MICHIGAN, PURDUE,
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WELL, I TOOK HOUSTON, MICHIGAN, PURDUE,
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WELL, I TOOK HOUSTON, MICHIGAN, PURDUE,
and Duke in my final four.
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and Duke in my final four.
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and Duke in my final four.
>> Do you know a lot about Houston? About
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>> Do you know a lot about Houston? About
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>> Do you know a lot about Houston? About
the team that you picked?
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the team that you picked?
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the team that you picked?
>> No.
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>> No.
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>> No.
>> What's their mascot?
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>> What's their mascot?
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>> What's their mascot?
>> Not at all.
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>> Not at all.
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>> Not at all.
>> What is their school mascot?
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>> What is their school mascot?
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>> What is their school mascot?
>> Uh,
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>> Uh,
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>> Uh,
uh, a bear. I don't know.
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uh, a bear. I don't know.
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uh, a bear. I don't know.
>> No. No. Uh, it's a Cougar, by the way.
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>> No. No. Uh, it's a Cougar, by the way.
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>> No. No. Uh, it's a Cougar, by the way.
Yeah. I didn't bother to fill out a
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Yeah. I didn't bother to fill out a
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Yeah. I didn't bother to fill out a
bracket this year. Instead, I just
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bracket this year. Instead, I just
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bracket this year. Instead, I just
handed $10 to our receptionist instead
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handed $10 to our receptionist instead
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handed $10 to our receptionist instead
to cut out the middleman. Arizona went
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to cut out the middleman. Arizona went
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to cut out the middleman. Arizona went
in today, ranked number one. And they
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in today, ranked number one. And they
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in today, ranked number one. And they
were very cocky about it, I have to say.
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were very cocky about it, I have to say.
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were very cocky about it, I have to say.
I mean, that's
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I mean, that's
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I mean, that's
Today also happens to be opening day for
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Today also happens to be opening day for
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Today also happens to be opening day for
baseball, Major League Baseball. The
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baseball, Major League Baseball. The
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baseball, Major League Baseball. The
Dodgers hosted the Diamondbacks at
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Dodgers hosted the Diamondbacks at
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Dodgers hosted the Diamondbacks at
Dodger Stadium. The Dodgers
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Dodger Stadium. The Dodgers
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Dodger Stadium. The Dodgers
LA is trying to win their third straight
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LA is trying to win their third straight
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LA is trying to win their third straight
World Series. Dodgers right now are kind
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World Series. Dodgers right now are kind
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World Series. Dodgers right now are kind
of like the Chicago Bulls from the '9s,
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of like the Chicago Bulls from the '9s,
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of like the Chicago Bulls from the '9s,
except they have three Michael Jordans
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except they have three Michael Jordans
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except they have three Michael Jordans
and they're all Japanese.
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and they're all Japanese.
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and they're all Japanese.
Magic Johnson threw out the first pitch
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Magic Johnson threw out the first pitch
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Magic Johnson threw out the first pitch
tonight at the Dodgers. He got and he
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tonight at the Dodgers. He got and he
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tonight at the Dodgers. He got and he
got fouled on the play. So, he got to
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got fouled on the play. So, he got to
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got fouled on the play. So, he got to
throw a second pitch, too. It's funny.
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throw a second pitch, too. It's funny.
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throw a second pitch, too. It's funny.
Everyone at our office today was
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Everyone at our office today was
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Everyone at our office today was
suddenly wearing baseball caps from
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suddenly wearing baseball caps from
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suddenly wearing baseball caps from
their hometown. You notice it was like,
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their hometown. You notice it was like,
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their hometown. You notice it was like,
"Oh, yeah. Jesse's from Pittsburgh." How
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"Oh, yeah. Jesse's from Pittsburgh." How
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"Oh, yeah. Jesse's from Pittsburgh." How
about that? I am a Mets fan and the Mets
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about that? I am a Mets fan and the Mets
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about that? I am a Mets fan and the Mets
won today. They got uh they got out to a
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won today. They got uh they got out to a
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won today. They got uh they got out to a
big lead and miraculously kept that big
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big lead and miraculously kept that big
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big lead and miraculously kept that big
lead. This is good. This is video of a
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lead. This is good. This is video of a
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lead. This is good. This is video of a
dad surprising his son with tickets to
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dad surprising his son with tickets to
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dad surprising his son with tickets to
that game. I got good news and I got bad
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that game. I got good news and I got bad
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that game. I got good news and I got bad
news.
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news.
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news.
>> The bad news is
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>> The bad news is
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>> The bad news is
you can't go to school today.
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you can't go to school today.
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you can't go to school today.
>> What?
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>> What?
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>> What?
>> The good news is
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>> The good news is
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>> The good news is
we're going to opening day.
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we're going to opening day.
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we're going to opening day.
>> Yay.
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>> Let me tell you something. That boy is a
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>> Let me tell you something. That boy is a
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>> Let me tell you something. That boy is a
Mets fan through and through. That's
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Mets fan through and through. That's
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Mets fan through and through. That's
They can never let you down if you're
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They can never let you down if you're
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They can never let you down if you're
already there, kid. And this is
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already there, kid. And this is
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already there, kid. And this is
something you're really You're not going
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something you're really You're not going
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something you're really You're not going
to believe this. I know there are a lot
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to believe this. I know there are a lot
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to believe this. I know there are a lot
of things that are hard to believe
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of things that are hard to believe
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of things that are hard to believe
lately, but guess who got another madeup
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lately, but guess who got another madeup
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lately, but guess who got another madeup
award last night. Any guesses?
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award last night. Any guesses?
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award last night. Any guesses?
That's right. The president has done so
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That's right. The president has done so
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That's right. The president has done so
much for the American people, and we
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much for the American people, and we
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much for the American people, and we
want to honor him in some small way,
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want to honor him in some small way,
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want to honor him in some small way,
some token of our appreciation for his
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some token of our appreciation for his
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some token of our appreciation for his
leadership. And so tonight, we have
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leadership. And so tonight, we have
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leadership. And so tonight, we have
created a new award.
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>> You have
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Come on. believe the guy. He created a
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Come on. believe the guy. He created a
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Come on. believe the guy. He created a
new award. What is going on? I mean,
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new award. What is going on? I mean,
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new award. What is going on? I mean,
what in the world? This guy I can't
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what in the world? This guy I can't
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what in the world? This guy I can't
figure out who should be more
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figure out who should be more
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figure out who should be more
embarrassed. The guy who came up with
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embarrassed. The guy who came up with
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embarrassed. The guy who came up with
the new award or the guy who proudly
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the new award or the guy who proudly
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the new award or the guy who proudly
accepted the new award. Watch Mike
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accepted the new award. Watch Mike
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accepted the new award. Watch Mike
Johnson here. You can almost You can
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Johnson here. You can almost You can
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Johnson here. You can almost You can
almost feel his spine exiting his body.
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almost feel his spine exiting his body.
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almost feel his spine exiting his body.
But he is the suitable and fitting
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But he is the suitable and fitting
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But he is the suitable and fitting
recipient of the first ever America
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recipient of the first ever America
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recipient of the first ever America
First Award. We can think of no better
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First Award. We can think of no better
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First Award. We can think of no better
title for what that is.
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Did you try? Because I can come up with
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Did you try? Because I can come up with
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Did you try? Because I can come up with
How about the Wiseman trophy? That would
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How about the Wiseman trophy? That would
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How about the Wiseman trophy? That would
be a better name.
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be a better name.
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be a better name.
The BME would be good.
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The Nobel piece of you know what I mean?
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The Nobel piece of you know what I mean?
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The Nobel piece of you know what I mean?
But the squeaker of the house is
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But the squeaker of the house is
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But the squeaker of the house is
correct. There could be no more
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correct. There could be no more
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correct. There could be no more
deserving winner of this fictitious
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deserving winner of this fictitious
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deserving winner of this fictitious
distinction you created specifically to
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distinction you created specifically to
233
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distinction you created specifically to
tongue bathe his undercarriage than
234
00:04:11,429 --> 00:04:11,439
tongue bathe his undercarriage than
235
00:04:11,439 --> 00:04:13,429
tongue bathe his undercarriage than
Donald Trump. My favorite part when they
236
00:04:13,429 --> 00:04:13,439
Donald Trump. My favorite part when they
237
00:04:13,439 --> 00:04:15,110
Donald Trump. My favorite part when they
give Trump these awards is when he comes
238
00:04:15,110 --> 00:04:15,120
give Trump these awards is when he comes
239
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give Trump these awards is when he comes
out with a look of surprise on his face
240
00:04:17,430 --> 00:04:17,440
out with a look of surprise on his face
241
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,789
out with a look of surprise on his face
like what? Another trophy for me. And
242
00:04:20,789 --> 00:04:20,799
like what? Another trophy for me. And
243
00:04:20,799 --> 00:04:22,790
like what? Another trophy for me. And
the saddest part is he seems to be
244
00:04:22,790 --> 00:04:22,800
the saddest part is he seems to be
245
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:26,070
the saddest part is he seems to be
genuinely honored by these imaginary
246
00:04:26,070 --> 00:04:26,080
genuinely honored by these imaginary
247
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,189
genuinely honored by these imaginary
accolades.
248
00:04:27,189 --> 00:04:27,199
accolades.
249
00:04:27,199 --> 00:04:35,749
accolades.
>> Mr. President, come on out.
250
00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:35,759
251
00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:38,950
>> I love this land.
252
00:04:38,950 --> 00:04:38,960
>> I love this land.
253
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:45,030
>> I love this land.
God bless the USA.
254
00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:45,040
255
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:48,310
Look at him. How happy he is. All the
256
00:04:48,310 --> 00:04:48,320
Look at him. How happy he is. All the
257
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,469
Look at him. How happy he is. All the
grace and elegance of a gorilla at a
258
00:04:50,469 --> 00:04:50,479
grace and elegance of a gorilla at a
259
00:04:50,479 --> 00:04:52,710
grace and elegance of a gorilla at a
wedding. And he's thrilled. He's
260
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:52,720
wedding. And he's thrilled. He's
261
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,350
wedding. And he's thrilled. He's
thrilled. It's like
262
00:04:55,350 --> 00:04:55,360
thrilled. It's like
263
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,710
thrilled. It's like
It's like, you know what? You promise
264
00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:56,720
It's like, you know what? You promise
265
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,950
It's like, you know what? You promise
you
266
00:04:58,950 --> 00:04:58,960
you
267
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,030
you
promise you buy your kids gummy worms if
268
00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:01,040
promise you buy your kids gummy worms if
269
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,710
promise you buy your kids gummy worms if
they have a good behavior day. It's like
270
00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:02,720
they have a good behavior day. It's like
271
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,350
they have a good behavior day. It's like
that. The statue they gave him, the
272
00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:05,360
that. The statue they gave him, the
273
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,070
that. The statue they gave him, the
statue itself, the inaugural America
274
00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:08,080
statue itself, the inaugural America
275
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:10,710
statue itself, the inaugural America
First award in recognition of our
276
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:10,720
First award in recognition of our
277
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,710
First award in recognition of our
president's extraordinary need to win
278
00:05:12,710 --> 00:05:12,720
president's extraordinary need to win
279
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:15,270
president's extraordinary need to win
things every single day is a golden
280
00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:15,280
things every single day is a golden
281
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,990
things every single day is a golden
eagle. And that is going on the mantle
282
00:05:17,990 --> 00:05:18,000
eagle. And that is going on the mantle
283
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,070
eagle. And that is going on the mantle
right next to his regifted Nobel Peace
284
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:20,080
right next to his regifted Nobel Peace
285
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,110
right next to his regifted Nobel Peace
Prize and the Olympic gold medal he
286
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:23,120
Prize and the Olympic gold medal he
287
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,350
Prize and the Olympic gold medal he
didn't win and the three tournament
288
00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:25,360
didn't win and the three tournament
289
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,510
didn't win and the three tournament
championships he won at his own golf
290
00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:27,520
championships he won at his own golf
291
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,150
championships he won at his own golf
club. Are we sure he's building a
292
00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:30,160
club. Are we sure he's building a
293
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,390
club. Are we sure he's building a
ballroom with that money and not a $900
294
00:05:32,390 --> 00:05:32,400
ballroom with that money and not a $900
295
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,670
ballroom with that money and not a $900
million trophy case? But Trump loves
296
00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:35,680
million trophy case? But Trump loves
297
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:38,070
million trophy case? But Trump loves
trophies. I mean, he even married one.
298
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:38,080
trophies. I mean, he even married one.
299
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,390
trophies. I mean, he even married one.
He really loves trophies. And then
300
00:05:42,390 --> 00:05:42,400
He really loves trophies. And then
301
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,310
He really loves trophies. And then
and then
302
00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:44,320
and then
303
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,710
and then
Ceel de Man got up and gave an hourong
304
00:05:46,710 --> 00:05:46,720
Ceel de Man got up and gave an hourong
305
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,070
Ceel de Man got up and gave an hourong
acceptance speech during which he
306
00:05:48,070 --> 00:05:48,080
acceptance speech during which he
307
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,430
acceptance speech during which he
covered a wide range of subjects
308
00:05:49,430 --> 00:05:49,440
covered a wide range of subjects
309
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,749
covered a wide range of subjects
including how bigly he's winning the war
310
00:05:51,749 --> 00:05:51,759
including how bigly he's winning the war
311
00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:53,909
including how bigly he's winning the war
in Iran that isn't actually a war at
312
00:05:53,909 --> 00:05:53,919
in Iran that isn't actually a war at
313
00:05:53,919 --> 00:05:56,550
in Iran that isn't actually a war at
all. They want to deflect from all of
314
00:05:56,550 --> 00:05:56,560
all. They want to deflect from all of
315
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,390
all. They want to deflect from all of
the tremendous success that we're having
316
00:05:58,390 --> 00:05:58,400
the tremendous success that we're having
317
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,670
the tremendous success that we're having
in this military operation. I won't use
318
00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:01,680
in this military operation. I won't use
319
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,110
in this military operation. I won't use
the word war because they say if you use
320
00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:03,120
the word war because they say if you use
321
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,629
the word war because they say if you use
the word war, that's maybe not a good
322
00:06:04,629 --> 00:06:04,639
the word war, that's maybe not a good
323
00:06:04,639 --> 00:06:07,029
the word war, that's maybe not a good
thing to do. They don't like the word
324
00:06:07,029 --> 00:06:07,039
thing to do. They don't like the word
325
00:06:07,039 --> 00:06:09,350
thing to do. They don't like the word
war because you're supposed to get
326
00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:09,360
war because you're supposed to get
327
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,749
war because you're supposed to get
approval. So, I'll use the word military
328
00:06:11,749 --> 00:06:11,759
approval. So, I'll use the word military
329
00:06:11,759 --> 00:06:12,790
approval. So, I'll use the word military
operation.
330
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:12,800
operation.
331
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:17,830
operation.
>> That's right. That's right. It's not
332
00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:17,840
333
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,990
It's not World War II he's getting us
334
00:06:19,990 --> 00:06:20,000
It's not World War II he's getting us
335
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,469
It's not World War II he's getting us
into. It's World Military Operation
336
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:22,479
into. It's World Military Operation
337
00:06:22,479 --> 00:06:24,870
into. It's World Military Operation
Three. At least he's upfront about the
338
00:06:24,870 --> 00:06:24,880
Three. At least he's upfront about the
339
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,430
Three. At least he's upfront about the
fact that he just brazenly disregarded
340
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:27,440
fact that he just brazenly disregarded
341
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,590
fact that he just brazenly disregarded
the authority of all the people in that
342
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:29,600
the authority of all the people in that
343
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,270
the authority of all the people in that
room. Oh, you need permission from
344
00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:31,280
room. Oh, you need permission from
345
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,350
room. Oh, you need permission from
Congress to start a war? I'll just call
346
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:33,360
Congress to start a war? I'll just call
347
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,390
Congress to start a war? I'll just call
it a picnic then and they'll give me an
348
00:06:36,390 --> 00:06:36,400
it a picnic then and they'll give me an
349
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,550
it a picnic then and they'll give me an
award for it. Not only did Trump get an
350
00:06:38,550 --> 00:06:38,560
award for it. Not only did Trump get an
351
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,710
award for it. Not only did Trump get an
award from Congress, he got a present
352
00:06:40,710 --> 00:06:40,720
award from Congress, he got a present
353
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,909
award from Congress, he got a present
from Iran on Tuesday. He was bragging
354
00:06:43,909 --> 00:06:43,919
from Iran on Tuesday. He was bragging
355
00:06:43,919 --> 00:06:46,150
from Iran on Tuesday. He was bragging
about this mysterious secret prize he
356
00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:46,160
about this mysterious secret prize he
357
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,230
about this mysterious secret prize he
got from the Iranians. Said he couldn't
358
00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:48,240
got from the Iranians. Said he couldn't
359
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,150
got from the Iranians. Said he couldn't
tell us what it was. And then of course
360
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:50,160
tell us what it was. And then of course
361
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,150
tell us what it was. And then of course
during his cabinet meeting today, he ju
362
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:52,160
during his cabinet meeting today, he ju
363
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,749
during his cabinet meeting today, he ju
he couldn't hold it in anymore and told
364
00:06:53,749 --> 00:06:53,759
he couldn't hold it in anymore and told
365
00:06:53,759 --> 00:06:54,629
he couldn't hold it in anymore and told
us what it was.
366
00:06:54,629 --> 00:06:54,639
us what it was.
367
00:06:54,639 --> 00:06:56,150
us what it was.
>> You know I told you about a present,
368
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:56,160
>> You know I told you about a present,
369
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,870
>> You know I told you about a present,
right? Steve, can I reveal the
370
00:06:58,870 --> 00:06:58,880
right? Steve, can I reveal the
371
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,430
right? Steve, can I reveal the
president?
372
00:07:01,430 --> 00:07:01,440
president?
373
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:05,430
president?
>> You can do anything you want.
374
00:07:05,430 --> 00:07:05,440
>> You can do anything you want.
375
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,390
>> You can do anything you want.
>> They said to show you the fact that
376
00:07:08,390 --> 00:07:08,400
>> They said to show you the fact that
377
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,150
>> They said to show you the fact that
we're real
378
00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:10,160
we're real
379
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:13,430
we're real
and solid and we're there, we're going
380
00:07:13,430 --> 00:07:13,440
and solid and we're there, we're going
381
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,270
and solid and we're there, we're going
to let you have eight boats of oil.
382
00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:15,280
to let you have eight boats of oil.
383
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,589
to let you have eight boats of oil.
Eight boats. Eight big boats of oil.
384
00:07:19,589 --> 00:07:19,599
Eight boats. Eight big boats of oil.
385
00:07:19,599 --> 00:07:21,909
Eight boats. Eight big boats of oil.
Let me get this straight. The country we
386
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:21,919
Let me get this straight. The country we
387
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:23,670
Let me get this straight. The country we
are at war with, the country we are
388
00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:23,680
are at war with, the country we are
389
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,230
are at war with, the country we are
currently bombing sent you a gift. And
390
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:26,240
currently bombing sent you a gift. And
391
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:30,150
currently bombing sent you a gift. And
that gift is eight big boats of oil.
392
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:30,160
that gift is eight big boats of oil.
393
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,110
that gift is eight big boats of oil.
It's a Hanukkah miracle.
394
00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:33,120
It's a Hanukkah miracle.
395
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,990
It's a Hanukkah miracle.
Except from a country that hates
396
00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:36,000
Except from a country that hates
397
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,589
Except from a country that hates
Hanukkah and the people who celebrate
398
00:07:37,589 --> 00:07:37,599
Hanukkah and the people who celebrate
399
00:07:37,599 --> 00:07:40,710
Hanukkah and the people who celebrate
it. Eight boats of oil is a gift you'd
400
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:40,720
it. Eight boats of oil is a gift you'd
401
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,710
it. Eight boats of oil is a gift you'd
send Diddy, not the president of the
402
00:07:42,710 --> 00:07:42,720
send Diddy, not the president of the
403
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,870
send Diddy, not the president of the
United States.
404
00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:44,880
United States.
405
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,430
United States.
Now, some
406
00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:47,440
Now, some
407
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,350
Now, some
some White House staffers were
408
00:07:49,350 --> 00:07:49,360
some White House staffers were
409
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,350
some White House staffers were
reportedly baffled by the president's
410
00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:51,360
reportedly baffled by the president's
411
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,110
reportedly baffled by the president's
remarks, which I'm guessing that's a
412
00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:53,120
remarks, which I'm guessing that's a
413
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:54,710
remarks, which I'm guessing that's a
regular occurrence. Now, it seems it
414
00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:54,720
regular occurrence. Now, it seems it
415
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,629
regular occurrence. Now, it seems it
started with Kovfe and just kind of
416
00:07:56,629 --> 00:07:56,639
started with Kovfe and just kind of
417
00:07:56,639 --> 00:07:58,629
started with Kovfe and just kind of
snowballed from there. There's another
418
00:07:58,629 --> 00:07:58,639
snowballed from there. There's another
419
00:07:58,639 --> 00:08:00,230
snowballed from there. There's another
story coming from inside the White House
420
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:00,240
story coming from inside the White House
421
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,390
story coming from inside the White House
that says Trump is upset with JD Vance
422
00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:02,400
that says Trump is upset with JD Vance
423
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,309
that says Trump is upset with JD Vance
because JD Vance hasn't been supportive
424
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:04,319
because JD Vance hasn't been supportive
425
00:08:04,319 --> 00:08:06,710
because JD Vance hasn't been supportive
enough of his war. The story says Trump
426
00:08:06,710 --> 00:08:06,720
enough of his war. The story says Trump
427
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,270
enough of his war. The story says Trump
has been making snide annoyed comments
428
00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:09,280
has been making snide annoyed comments
429
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,830
has been making snide annoyed comments
about JD in private, which how great
430
00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:11,840
about JD in private, which how great
431
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,070
about JD in private, which how great
would it be if he fired JD Vance and
432
00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:14,080
would it be if he fired JD Vance and
433
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:17,110
would it be if he fired JD Vance and
brought back Mike Pence. Can he do that?
434
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:17,120
brought back Mike Pence. Can he do that?
435
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,670
brought back Mike Pence. Can he do that?
Like like when the original Becky came
436
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:19,680
Like like when the original Becky came
437
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,830
Like like when the original Becky came
back to Roseanne,
438
00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:21,840
back to Roseanne,
439
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,749
back to Roseanne,
Trump touched on a number of topics at
440
00:08:23,749 --> 00:08:23,759
Trump touched on a number of topics at
441
00:08:23,759 --> 00:08:25,270
Trump touched on a number of topics at
the cabinet meeting today. One of the
442
00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:25,280
the cabinet meeting today. One of the
443
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,110
the cabinet meeting today. One of the
most important being his thoughts when
444
00:08:27,110 --> 00:08:27,120
most important being his thoughts when
445
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,790
most important being his thoughts when
it comes to pens.
446
00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:28,800
it comes to pens.
447
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,710
it comes to pens.
>> See this pen right here? This pen is an
448
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:30,720
>> See this pen right here? This pen is an
449
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,870
>> See this pen right here? This pen is an
interesting reason. It's the same thing.
450
00:08:32,870 --> 00:08:32,880
interesting reason. It's the same thing.
451
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,829
interesting reason. It's the same thing.
So this pen is very inexpensive.
452
00:08:35,829 --> 00:08:35,839
So this pen is very inexpensive.
453
00:08:35,839 --> 00:08:38,709
So this pen is very inexpensive.
But it writes well. I like it. But I
454
00:08:38,709 --> 00:08:38,719
But it writes well. I like it. But I
455
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,070
But it writes well. I like it. But I
can't have the pen the way it was. You
456
00:08:40,070 --> 00:08:40,080
can't have the pen the way it was. You
457
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,430
can't have the pen the way it was. You
know what it is. I don't want to give
458
00:08:41,430 --> 00:08:41,440
know what it is. I don't want to give
459
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,190
know what it is. I don't want to give
too much publicity, but they do treat me
460
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:43,200
too much publicity, but they do treat me
461
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,910
too much publicity, but they do treat me
well. Sharpie,
462
00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:45,920
well. Sharpie,
463
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,310
well. Sharpie,
they do treat me well. Sharpie, he has
464
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:48,320
they do treat me well. Sharpie, he has
465
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,269
they do treat me well. Sharpie, he has
he has exactly 002 seconds of impulse
466
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:51,279
he has exactly 002 seconds of impulse
467
00:08:51,279 --> 00:08:53,910
he has exactly 002 seconds of impulse
control. Are we the only country that
468
00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:53,920
control. Are we the only country that
469
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,949
control. Are we the only country that
has a national pen? They should call his
470
00:08:56,949 --> 00:08:56,959
has a national pen? They should call his
471
00:08:56,959 --> 00:08:58,550
has a national pen? They should call his
a dolly. They should write dolly on
472
00:08:58,550 --> 00:08:58,560
a dolly. They should write dolly on
473
00:08:58,560 --> 00:08:59,750
a dolly. They should write dolly on
every one of them. And he's going to be
474
00:08:59,750 --> 00:08:59,760
every one of them. And he's going to be
475
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,990
every one of them. And he's going to be
putting that pen to use. Uh he's about
476
00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:02,000
putting that pen to use. Uh he's about
477
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,230
putting that pen to use. Uh he's about
to become the first sitting president to
478
00:09:04,230 --> 00:09:04,240
to become the first sitting president to
479
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:07,030
to become the first sitting president to
have his signature on money to celebrate
480
00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:07,040
have his signature on money to celebrate
481
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,670
have his signature on money to celebrate
America's 250th anniversary. Trump is
482
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:09,680
America's 250th anniversary. Trump is
483
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,310
America's 250th anniversary. Trump is
having his signature added to dollar
484
00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:12,320
having his signature added to dollar
485
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,790
having his signature added to dollar
bills. They released an image of what it
486
00:09:14,790 --> 00:09:14,800
bills. They released an image of what it
487
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,030
bills. They released an image of what it
will look like. And um I don't know, it
488
00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:17,040
will look like. And um I don't know, it
489
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,910
will look like. And um I don't know, it
seems
490
00:09:19,910 --> 00:09:19,920
seems
491
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,990
seems
seems a bit subtle for him. The
492
00:09:21,990 --> 00:09:22,000
seems a bit subtle for him. The
493
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,990
seems a bit subtle for him. The
president and his pals in the MAGA media
494
00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:24,000
president and his pals in the MAGA media
495
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,070
president and his pals in the MAGA media
are not happy with me right now. Trump
496
00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:26,080
are not happy with me right now. Trump
497
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,990
are not happy with me right now. Trump
even called into Fox to complain about
498
00:09:27,990 --> 00:09:28,000
even called into Fox to complain about
499
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,790
even called into Fox to complain about
me tonight. His apple polishers are are
500
00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:30,800
me tonight. His apple polishers are are
501
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,110
me tonight. His apple polishers are are
all in a tizzy because I made light of
502
00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:33,120
all in a tizzy because I made light of
503
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,710
all in a tizzy because I made light of
the fact that his new head of homeland
504
00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:34,720
the fact that his new head of homeland
505
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,750
the fact that his new head of homeland
security, Mark Wayne Mullen, before he
506
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:37,760
security, Mark Wayne Mullen, before he
507
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:40,710
security, Mark Wayne Mullen, before he
was a senator, was a plumber and now
508
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:40,720
was a senator, was a plumber and now
509
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,470
was a senator, was a plumber and now
he's the head of Homeland Security,
510
00:09:42,470 --> 00:09:42,480
he's the head of Homeland Security,
511
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:43,910
he's the head of Homeland Security,
which is not necessarily the kind of
512
00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:43,920
which is not necessarily the kind of
513
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,550
which is not necessarily the kind of
resume you might hope for for the person
514
00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:46,560
resume you might hope for for the person
515
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,150
resume you might hope for for the person
in charge of protecting us from
516
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:48,160
in charge of protecting us from
517
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,389
in charge of protecting us from
terrorism. Of course, they decided to
518
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:50,399
terrorism. Of course, they decided to
519
00:09:50,399 --> 00:09:52,630
terrorism. Of course, they decided to
twist that to say it was an insult to
520
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:52,640
twist that to say it was an insult to
521
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,670
twist that to say it was an insult to
plumbers, which it was not. I I wouldn't
522
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:55,680
plumbers, which it was not. I I wouldn't
523
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,590
plumbers, which it was not. I I wouldn't
put a plumber in charge of homeland
524
00:09:57,590 --> 00:09:57,600
put a plumber in charge of homeland
525
00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,430
put a plumber in charge of homeland
security for the same reason I wouldn't
526
00:09:59,430 --> 00:09:59,440
security for the same reason I wouldn't
527
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,269
security for the same reason I wouldn't
call a fivestar general to pull a rat
528
00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:01,279
call a fivestar general to pull a rat
529
00:10:01,279 --> 00:10:03,829
call a fivestar general to pull a rat
out of my toilet. Okay, it has we all
530
00:10:03,829 --> 00:10:03,839
out of my toilet. Okay, it has we all
531
00:10:03,839 --> 00:10:06,550
out of my toilet. Okay, it has we all
have our areas of expertise. So anyway,
532
00:10:06,550 --> 00:10:06,560
have our areas of expertise. So anyway,
533
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,870
have our areas of expertise. So anyway,
they went nuts about this. They went
534
00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:08,880
they went nuts about this. They went
535
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,350
they went nuts about this. They went
nuts on every channel.
536
00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:11,360
nuts on every channel.
537
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,269
nuts on every channel.
But I think that my favorite part of a
538
00:10:13,269 --> 00:10:13,279
But I think that my favorite part of a
539
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,430
But I think that my favorite part of a
bit of performative outrage came from a
540
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:15,440
bit of performative outrage came from a
541
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,069
bit of performative outrage came from a
person named Rob Finery of Newsmax. It
542
00:10:18,069 --> 00:10:18,079
person named Rob Finery of Newsmax. It
543
00:10:18,079 --> 00:10:19,990
person named Rob Finery of Newsmax. It
did not take long for Jimmy Kimmel to
544
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:20,000
did not take long for Jimmy Kimmel to
545
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,430
did not take long for Jimmy Kimmel to
mock our new Homeland Security
546
00:10:21,430 --> 00:10:21,440
mock our new Homeland Security
547
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,790
mock our new Homeland Security
Secretary, Mark Wayne Mullen, because
548
00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:22,800
Secretary, Mark Wayne Mullen, because
549
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,870
Secretary, Mark Wayne Mullen, because
Mullen was a plumber before he ran for
550
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:24,880
Mullen was a plumber before he ran for
551
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,509
Mullen was a plumber before he ran for
Congress.
552
00:10:25,509 --> 00:10:25,519
Congress.
553
00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:27,509
Congress.
>> Before he was elected to the Senate,
554
00:10:27,509 --> 00:10:27,519
>> Before he was elected to the Senate,
555
00:10:27,519 --> 00:10:30,310
>> Before he was elected to the Senate,
Mark Wayne Mullen was a low-level MMA
556
00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:30,320
Mark Wayne Mullen was a low-level MMA
557
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,790
Mark Wayne Mullen was a low-level MMA
fighter and a plumber. That's right. We
558
00:10:32,790 --> 00:10:32,800
fighter and a plumber. That's right. We
559
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,110
fighter and a plumber. That's right. We
have a plumber protecting us from
560
00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:35,120
have a plumber protecting us from
561
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,990
have a plumber protecting us from
terrorism now.
562
00:10:37,990 --> 00:10:38,000
terrorism now.
563
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,430
terrorism now.
>> Do you know how many people in America
564
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:39,440
>> Do you know how many people in America
565
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,190
>> Do you know how many people in America
that offends? Including myself. Do you
566
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:41,200
that offends? Including myself. Do you
567
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,350
that offends? Including myself. Do you
know how many people that offends? Jimmy
568
00:10:43,350 --> 00:10:43,360
know how many people that offends? Jimmy
569
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,430
know how many people that offends? Jimmy
Kimmel, by the way, who's not funny or
570
00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:45,440
Kimmel, by the way, who's not funny or
571
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,990
Kimmel, by the way, who's not funny or
handsome or anything. Okay. He's just a
572
00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:48,000
handsome or anything. Okay. He's just a
573
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,949
handsome or anything. Okay. He's just a
guy who makes a lot of money.
574
00:10:50,949 --> 00:10:50,959
guy who makes a lot of money.
575
00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:53,430
guy who makes a lot of money.
>> Oh, I like how important handsome is on
576
00:10:53,430 --> 00:10:53,440
>> Oh, I like how important handsome is on
577
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,110
>> Oh, I like how important handsome is on
his list.
578
00:10:55,110 --> 00:10:55,120
his list.
579
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,350
his list.
Not funny or handsome. I I can barely
580
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:57,360
Not funny or handsome. I I can barely
581
00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,470
Not funny or handsome. I I can barely
even get a boner watching this guy.
582
00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:00,480
even get a boner watching this guy.
583
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,550
even get a boner watching this guy.
I am I'm so sorry you were offended,
584
00:11:02,550 --> 00:11:02,560
I am I'm so sorry you were offended,
585
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,310
I am I'm so sorry you were offended,
Rob. I I didn't know you were such a
586
00:11:04,310 --> 00:11:04,320
Rob. I I didn't know you were such a
587
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,389
Rob. I I didn't know you were such a
sensitive snowflake. And by the way,
588
00:11:06,389 --> 00:11:06,399
sensitive snowflake. And by the way,
589
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,069
sensitive snowflake. And by the way,
you're a handsome guy. Had I known you
590
00:11:08,069 --> 00:11:08,079
you're a handsome guy. Had I known you
591
00:11:08,079 --> 00:11:09,910
you're a handsome guy. Had I known you
were so delicate, I never would have
592
00:11:09,910 --> 00:11:09,920
were so delicate, I never would have
593
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,670
were so delicate, I never would have
suggested such a terrible thing. You
594
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:11,680
suggested such a terrible thing. You
595
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,110
suggested such a terrible thing. You
see, what people like Jimmy Kimmel never
596
00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:13,120
see, what people like Jimmy Kimmel never
597
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,389
see, what people like Jimmy Kimmel never
seem to understand is that people like
598
00:11:14,389 --> 00:11:14,399
seem to understand is that people like
599
00:11:14,399 --> 00:11:16,630
seem to understand is that people like
Mark Wayne Mullen are exactly why 15
600
00:11:16,630 --> 00:11:16,640
Mark Wayne Mullen are exactly why 15
601
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,870
Mark Wayne Mullen are exactly why 15
million illegals came into this country
602
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:18,880
million illegals came into this country
603
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,269
million illegals came into this country
under Joe Biden. They want the American
604
00:11:21,269 --> 00:11:21,279
under Joe Biden. They want the American
605
00:11:21,279 --> 00:11:23,509
under Joe Biden. They want the American
dream. And Mark Wayne Mullen is living
606
00:11:23,509 --> 00:11:23,519
dream. And Mark Wayne Mullen is living
607
00:11:23,519 --> 00:11:26,150
dream. And Mark Wayne Mullen is living
it. And so are you, Jimmy. So cut him
608
00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:26,160
it. And so are you, Jimmy. So cut him
609
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:30,230
it. And so are you, Jimmy. So cut him
some slack. Okay, I will.
610
00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:30,240
some slack. Okay, I will.
611
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:31,910
some slack. Okay, I will.
Listen,
612
00:11:31,910 --> 00:11:31,920
Listen,
613
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,710
Listen,
let me make this very clear.
614
00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:34,720
let me make this very clear.
615
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,870
let me make this very clear.
I'm not upset that the head of Homeland
616
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:36,880
I'm not upset that the head of Homeland
617
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,030
I'm not upset that the head of Homeland
Security used to be a plumber. I'm upset
618
00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:39,040
Security used to be a plumber. I'm upset
619
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,829
Security used to be a plumber. I'm upset
that he isn't still a plumber. Okay. And
620
00:11:41,829 --> 00:11:41,839
that he isn't still a plumber. Okay. And
621
00:11:41,839 --> 00:11:43,430
that he isn't still a plumber. Okay. And
the best part of all of this, all the
622
00:11:43,430 --> 00:11:43,440
the best part of all of this, all the
623
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,069
the best part of all of this, all the
outrage from Finerity and Hannity and
624
00:11:46,069 --> 00:11:46,079
outrage from Finerity and Hannity and
625
00:11:46,079 --> 00:11:48,710
outrage from Finerity and Hannity and
the five is that I distinctly remember
626
00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:48,720
the five is that I distinctly remember
627
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,030
the five is that I distinctly remember
some very serious concerns resume-wise
628
00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:51,040
some very serious concerns resume-wise
629
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,790
some very serious concerns resume-wise
when it came to a certain former
630
00:11:52,790 --> 00:11:52,800
when it came to a certain former
631
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,230
when it came to a certain former
bartender from New York
632
00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:54,240
bartender from New York
633
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,870
bartender from New York
>> before Okasiocortez was elected to
634
00:11:56,870 --> 00:11:56,880
>> before Okasiocortez was elected to
635
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,350
>> before Okasiocortez was elected to
Congress. Her her resume is she was a
636
00:11:59,350 --> 00:11:59,360
Congress. Her her resume is she was a
637
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,150
Congress. Her her resume is she was a
bartender.
638
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:00,160
bartender.
639
00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,870
bartender.
>> The congresswoman is kind of like Vice
640
00:12:02,870 --> 00:12:02,880
>> The congresswoman is kind of like Vice
641
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,870
>> The congresswoman is kind of like Vice
President Kla Harris, but with more
642
00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:04,880
President Kla Harris, but with more
643
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,269
President Kla Harris, but with more
bartending experience. She has no idea
644
00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:07,279
bartending experience. She has no idea
645
00:12:07,279 --> 00:12:09,590
bartending experience. She has no idea
where Venezuela is on a map because they
646
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:09,600
where Venezuela is on a map because they
647
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,750
where Venezuela is on a map because they
don't teach geography in bartending
648
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:11,760
don't teach geography in bartending
649
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,629
don't teach geography in bartending
school. Why the governor of Michigan is
650
00:12:14,629 --> 00:12:14,639
school. Why the governor of Michigan is
651
00:12:14,639 --> 00:12:16,470
school. Why the governor of Michigan is
speaking in Munich on foreign policy or
652
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:16,480
speaking in Munich on foreign policy or
653
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,509
speaking in Munich on foreign policy or
AOC who was a bartender a few years ago.
654
00:12:19,509 --> 00:12:19,519
AOC who was a bartender a few years ago.
655
00:12:19,519 --> 00:12:21,030
AOC who was a bartender a few years ago.
The bartender from Queens.
656
00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:21,040
The bartender from Queens.
657
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,870
The bartender from Queens.
>> She may have been a good bartender.
658
00:12:22,870 --> 00:12:22,880
>> She may have been a good bartender.
659
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,629
>> She may have been a good bartender.
>> That bartender speaker bartender,
660
00:12:24,629 --> 00:12:24,639
>> That bartender speaker bartender,
661
00:12:24,639 --> 00:12:25,829
>> That bartender speaker bartender,
>> a former bartender.
662
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:25,839
>> a former bartender.
663
00:12:25,839 --> 00:12:27,430
>> a former bartender.
>> Bartender turned politician.
664
00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:27,440
>> Bartender turned politician.
665
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:28,949
>> Bartender turned politician.
>> 29-year-old bartender.
666
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:28,959
>> 29-year-old bartender.
667
00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:31,110
>> 29-year-old bartender.
>> I mean, this lady's less than two years
668
00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:31,120
>> I mean, this lady's less than two years
669
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,870
>> I mean, this lady's less than two years
removed from searching behind the bar
670
00:12:32,870 --> 00:12:32,880
removed from searching behind the bar
671
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,629
removed from searching behind the bar
for plant life when somebody ordered a
672
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:34,639
for plant life when somebody ordered a
673
00:12:34,639 --> 00:12:38,470
for plant life when somebody ordered a
root beer. Well, on behalf of bartenders
674
00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:38,480
root beer. Well, on behalf of bartenders
675
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,710
root beer. Well, on behalf of bartenders
everywhere, we anxiously await your
676
00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:40,720
everywhere, we anxiously await your
677
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,269
everywhere, we anxiously await your
apology. You do the bartenders, I'll do
678
00:12:43,269 --> 00:12:43,279
apology. You do the bartenders, I'll do
679
00:12:43,279 --> 00:12:46,230
apology. You do the bartenders, I'll do
the plumbers. Okay.
680
00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:46,240
the plumbers. Okay.
681
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,230
the plumbers. Okay.
And one more thing. It's Thursday night
682
00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:48,240
And one more thing. It's Thursday night
683
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,910
And one more thing. It's Thursday night
and that means it's time to bleep and
684
00:12:49,910 --> 00:12:49,920
and that means it's time to bleep and
685
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,750
and that means it's time to bleep and
blur the big TV moments of the week. It
686
00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:51,760
blur the big TV moments of the week. It
687
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:57,829
blur the big TV moments of the week. It
is this week in unnecessary censorship.
688
00:12:57,829 --> 00:12:57,839
689
00:12:57,839 --> 00:12:59,430
>> Well, travelers at the Philadelphia
690
00:12:59,430 --> 00:12:59,440
>> Well, travelers at the Philadelphia
691
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,230
>> Well, travelers at the Philadelphia
airport are being by ICE agents. Uh, I
692
00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:02,240
airport are being by ICE agents. Uh, I
693
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,910
airport are being by ICE agents. Uh, I
voted three times along with my
694
00:13:03,910 --> 00:13:03,920
voted three times along with my
695
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,310
voted three times along with my
Republicans in the House, three times to
696
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:06,320
Republicans in the House, three times to
697
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,030
Republicans in the House, three times to
the Homeland Security B.
698
00:13:09,030 --> 00:13:09,040
the Homeland Security B.
699
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,110
the Homeland Security B.
>> And really, you know, the the the
700
00:13:11,110 --> 00:13:11,120
>> And really, you know, the the the
701
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,069
>> And really, you know, the the the
terming a dead cow or a dead horse comes
702
00:13:14,069 --> 00:13:14,079
terming a dead cow or a dead horse comes
703
00:13:14,079 --> 00:13:15,030
terming a dead cow or a dead horse comes
to mind.
704
00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:15,040
to mind.
705
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,030
to mind.
>> And I had a chance to do what I do best,
706
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:17,040
>> And I had a chance to do what I do best,
707
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,470
>> And I had a chance to do what I do best,
and that's a horse.
708
00:13:18,470 --> 00:13:18,480
and that's a horse.
709
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,030
and that's a horse.
>> I love those guys. Those guys that are a
710
00:13:21,030 --> 00:13:21,040
>> I love those guys. Those guys that are a
711
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:22,389
>> I love those guys. Those guys that are a
little smaller than you're supposed to
712
00:13:22,389 --> 00:13:22,399
little smaller than you're supposed to
713
00:13:22,399 --> 00:13:23,910
little smaller than you're supposed to
be, but they have a bigger than
714
00:13:23,910 --> 00:13:23,920
be, but they have a bigger than
715
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,430
be, but they have a bigger than
everybody on the team, right?
716
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:25,440
everybody on the team, right?
717
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,670
everybody on the team, right?
>> But what doesn't scare me is what day it
718
00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:27,680
>> But what doesn't scare me is what day it
719
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:32,550
>> But what doesn't scare me is what day it
is today. It is national off day. So
720
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:32,560
is today. It is national off day. So
721
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,590
is today. It is national off day. So
>> every day for us
722
00:13:33,590 --> 00:13:33,600
>> every day for us
723
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,710
>> every day for us
>> and happy national day.
724
00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:38,720
>> and happy national day.
725
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:39,269
>> and happy national day.
>> Yes.
726
00:13:39,269 --> 00:13:39,279
>> Yes.
727
00:13:39,279 --> 00:13:42,790
>> Yes.
>> Are you team small or team big?
728
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:42,800
>> Are you team small or team big?
729
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,509
>> Are you team small or team big?
>> We want you to send us a picture of your
730
00:13:45,509 --> 00:13:45,519
>> We want you to send us a picture of your
731
00:13:45,519 --> 00:13:47,430
>> We want you to send us a picture of your
or the type of that you like. You have
732
00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:47,440
or the type of that you like. You have
733
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,069
or the type of that you like. You have
any uh memories of me off with you?
734
00:13:50,069 --> 00:13:50,079
any uh memories of me off with you?
735
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,629
any uh memories of me off with you?
>> Uh yeah. A lot of our pool parties in
736
00:13:52,629 --> 00:13:52,639
>> Uh yeah. A lot of our pool parties in
737
00:13:52,639 --> 00:13:55,110
>> Uh yeah. A lot of our pool parties in
the summertime you you like to off.
738
00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:55,120
the summertime you you like to off.
739
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,189
the summertime you you like to off.
>> Yes. No, they're fun. You know what I
740
00:13:57,189 --> 00:13:57,199
>> Yes. No, they're fun. You know what I
741
00:13:57,199 --> 00:13:59,030
>> Yes. No, they're fun. You know what I
had to do to get in the Pro Wrestling
742
00:13:59,030 --> 00:13:59,040
had to do to get in the Pro Wrestling
743
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,910
had to do to get in the Pro Wrestling
Hall of Fame? At one point in my career,
744
00:14:01,910 --> 00:14:01,920
Hall of Fame? At one point in my career,
745
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:07,910
Hall of Fame? At one point in my career,
I 63 consecutive in a row.
746
00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:07,920
I 63 consecutive in a row.
747
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,670
I 63 consecutive in a row.
Thank you, Governor. We've got a fun
748
00:14:09,670 --> 00:14:09,680
Thank you, Governor. We've got a fun
749
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:11,750
Thank you, Governor. We've got a fun
show for tonight. David Cross is here.
750
00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:11,760
show for tonight. David Cross is here.
751
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,509
show for tonight. David Cross is here.
Coco Jones is here. And when we come
752
00:14:13,509 --> 00:14:13,519
Coco Jones is here. And when we come
753
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:15,509
Coco Jones is here. And when we come
back, we're going to play a game with uh
754
00:14:15,509 --> 00:14:15,519
back, we're going to play a game with uh
755
00:14:15,519 --> 00:14:17,430
back, we're going to play a game with uh
Charlie Puthy is going to attempt to
756
00:14:17,430 --> 00:14:17,440
Charlie Puthy is going to attempt to
757
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,150
Charlie Puthy is going to attempt to
sing a song he has never seen the lyrics
758
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:20,160
sing a song he has never seen the lyrics
759
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,910
sing a song he has never seen the lyrics
for. There's Charlie. So, stick around.
760
00:14:21,910 --> 00:14:21,920
for. There's Charlie. So, stick around.
761
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:25,320
for. There's Charlie. So, stick around.
Be right back.
67055
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