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Yuma?
Mr. Minor?
Jason Minor.
Good morning.
Still as warm beer.
Dead.
He'd been working himself up to this for a long while.
Well, we ain't gonna go hungry no more.
Yeah, he's through taking the food out of our mouths.
How's 10 for a round a drinks!
And I'll drink the whole round.
Lorena, this is a dancing day for Dead Oak.
Mr. Minor always treated me nice.
We owe some citizen a vote of thanks.
Are you the one who done it, son?
What's the matter with you people?
You're talking about a murder.
Murder?
Oh, I wouldn't come to any fast conclusion, son.
No sir.
Sure, looks like Jason killed himself in cold blood.
In the back?
It was a suicide, mister, that's what it was.
Clean suicide.
♪ Johnny Yuma was a Rebel ♪
♪ He roamed through the West ♪
♪ Did Johnny Yuma, the Rebel ♪
♪ He wandered alone ♪
♪ Johnny Yuma ♪
Excuse me, I was told the sheriff's in here.
He's in 18 with a Mr. Spencer Scott.
What's that?
C. Spencer Scott, the Earl of Durango.
Come in.
Anybody here?
Yep.
Where?
Here.
Hi.
Hi.
What do ya want, slim?
The sheriff here abouts?
Thereabouts.
Thanks.
You can't go in.
He's with the Earl.
Is he making an arrest?
Nope.
Well, then it can't wait.
Hmm, too bad, slim, too bad.
Safer at Gettysburg.
I need to talk...
My dear young fellow,
you seem totally unaware that you're interrupting something,
which is infinitely more important
than your own immediate needs.
Oh, what's that?
Darts.
Darts?
Quite, now if you don't mind.
Well, I'm sorry, but I...
Oh, I'm sorry, too.
Otis.
Drift.
Well, now, wait a minute, all I want...
Go on, Reb.
You ain't got long to jabber.
Sheriff.
I'm sorry, cowboy, this is my lunch hour.
Wipe that off, creepy.
Well, now ain't this a kick in the shanks.
Creepy, huh?
Then you gotta be taught my name's Ottie.
Now, now, gentleman.
Forgive my interruption,
but I think my antiques would suffer far more
than either one of you.
Besides, for the nonce, Otis,
I think you've met your match.
Don't bet on it, your majesty.
You haven't the remotest idea who I am.
That's a pretty good quiver.
Who are you?
C. Spencer Scott,
the most prolific writer of lucrative mystery thrillers
of the American West.
Not a very flattering likeness, is it?
Sorry, never heard of you.
Don't read junk.
Junk, quite, but then I'll wager you never read
the philosophical works I wrote in England.
Nope.
I authored a number of texts,
all widely acclaimed but narrowly circulated.
Do you follow me?
I doubt it.
He looks denser than a loblolly pine thicket to me.
Otis.
Consequently, I decided to become commercial,
simultaneously lowering my literary
but raising my living standards.
Besides, it's a lot more fun.
Your pet hound, where does he fit in?
Otis Rumph, my associate,
a man with many redeeming qualities necessary
to our continued existence.
A gunny, huh?
Oh, no, nothing so crude,
but there have been, uh, incidents, haven't there?
Now tell me, Mr., uh, Yuma, is it?
Yo.
How do you fit into this murder?
Jason Minor hired me to be his bodyguard.
You did a stunningly rotten job, didn't you?
Mr. Minor always treated me real nice.
This has been a nice, quiet town,
and that's the way it's gonna stay.
Gather round! Gather round!
All you lean, mean, bold, hard gentlemen of Dead Oak.
Cut that infernal racket!
What in blazes you think you're doing?
That bell ain't no plaything!
You're quite right, Sheriff.
It tolls the sound of murder.
It tolls for thee.
I am C. Spencer Scott, the fourth Earl of Devonshire,
now ignobly referred to as the Earl of Durango.
Ain't never heard of you.
I've heard of him.
He writes mystery stories.
I'm among you for the purpose of gathering material
for a book on your late lamented friend, Jason Minor.
Mr. Minor always treated me nice.
Oh, is that so?
During the course of this literary exercise,
I shall undoubtedly discover the murderer.
Your cooperation or lack of it will be faithfully recorded.
What'd he say?
He said somebody's gonna end up in the pokey.
How'd you find out about Jason?
Who cares?
He ain't nothin' but a gasbag.
Yeah, he's all chin.
It seems to me that the whole populace
of Dead Oak is amply provided with chin;
However, in repudiation of your rash accusations,
I think a small demonstration would be in order.
Don't you agree, Otis?
Oh, I do, sir.
If you'll kindly step back there, folks.
We'd hate to have more than one body in this rate of time.
Kindly step back there, that's it, thank you.
Thank you very much.
All right, folks, that'll be fine.
That should suffice for the moment.
Let's have a meetin'.
Good show, Yuma, good show.
A fitting overture for the drama that's bound to occur.
Spencer, be a good earl.
Wait for the marshal.
Be reasonable, Mr. Yuma, be reasonable.
What sort of dreary little book would I be left with
if I allowed some colorless mule-faced marshal
to lumber through its pages solving the crime?
Now this way, I have excitement.
I have vitality.
I have, ooh! Passion, excuse me, please.
Uh, miss!
My honor.
So it is.
Otis!
I mean Ottie.
Can I ask you somethin'?
Why not?
What would you care for, my dear?
Have papers filed in the county courthouse
swearing to suicide.
Mm-hmm, and this young man is prepared to testify
in a court of law that you're mouthing falsehoods.
Well, let him talk.
Let him talk his mouth off!
There ain't no body.
There was a body.
It fell in the swamp when we was tryin' to bury it.
Leave it alone, fellas.
Everybody in town hated Jason.
Mr. Minor always paid me for the work I done.
That file in his office is busting
with our notes and mortgages.
Minor left us poorer than skim milk.
So don't be muley-headed, mister.
Stay out of it.
Very well, gentlemen,
but I think it's only sporting to warn you
that I intend to pursue my investigation.
I shall unmask the murderer,
and with Mr. Yuma's testimony,
I will secure a conviction.
Well, folks, let's go outside and have a meetin'.
Oh, oh yes, this is quite interesting,
but I do feel that this will be one of my better books.
You think you'll ever get to write it?
I hope so.
After three years of hootin' around
what he likes to refer to as the raw frontier with the earl,
I figure I'm ahead every time I take a breath.
This is mighty powerful weapon, Mr. Yuma.
So it is.
As long as there's gonna be a murder charge around here,
we got the murder weapon.
And we know who done it.
I reckon they mean you, Reb.
There's room for two more on that tree out there,
and three ain't a crowd.
Your subtlety staggers me.
And so will these,
Mr. Earl, if y'all don't put your guns on the table.
Better be outta town before dark.
Well, see, now this old Reb done gone
and got himself in such a mess,
I reckon it's up to us to kinda help him out.
Help me?
Little more help from you two,
and I'll be swingin' from that tree out there.
Oh, I don't think they'd go so far
as to hang you, Mr. Yuma.
Do you, Otis?
To conceal the murder.
So they'll have to keep on paying.
There lies the irony.
I wonder what would happen
if the town found out the notes were missing.
Splendid, Mr. Yuma, splendid!
Now, if we could entice each debtor to retrieve
his own notes from the file,
then the one who tries to stop them
because he knows the notes are already gone will be...
The murderer!
Brilliant, Otis, brilliant!
Well, now just how do we go about
this enticing, your majesty?
Well, I thought a few well-chosen words would do it.
Uh-uh, one well-placed file.
Someday, somebody'll do something I expect.
Now, gentlemen, this demonstration is for the purpose of...
This isn't at all what I had in mind!
Would you stop waving that thing around and put it away.
Your mortgages!
Oh.
Mortgages!
All right, boys, leave 'em alone.
Every one of ya, get his own note,
and do whatever you want with it.
There's your file.
Do you mind?
Perhaps it's her only fault.
I tell ya, he's a liar!
Well, he has got a limber jawbone, all right,
but, uh, he ain't a liar.
If you done it, Lorena,
we're behind ya to the man!
I'll hang your picture up in the bar.
Don't let 'em scare ya, Lorena.
There's no evidence, there ain't no body.
All right, boys, I did it.
So, build me a statue.
I'm the one who did you the favor,
and hang the picture in that slinky dress of mine.
Now, if you boys will step aside, I'm gettin' in the stage.
Lorena, your fair heroine is about to leave town
with all your notes and mortgages.
The notes were burned.
You seen it.
We'll find out soon enough, excuse me.
Go ahead, search 'em.
I'll help you myself.
Fancy big mouth.
Sheriff, after you put my things on the stage,
I'll say goodbye to Dead Oak.
Rode shotgun long enough to know
a woman doesn't wear a bustle on a long trip.
That's our notes!
That's my mortgage.
Well, what does she want with them?
What good are they to her?
Lovely Lorena was Jason Minor's silent partner.
Thought you could put one over on us, eh?
Take the food out of our mouths!
Well, we caught you red handed!
Law'll have a trial, get you hung,
and that'll be the end of Jason and you.
Yeah, you forgot you dumped the body
and filed suicide papers.
Besides, they've never hung a woman in Texas.
With your assets, I feel sure that you'd be represented
by the finest legal talent in the territory.
I don't care what lawyer she uses.
She's gonna rot in jail.
That ain't gonna get you off the hook.
You're still working for me,
and I'm gonna send someone here
once a month to pick up my check.
You're suckers, all of you.
You lose at my faro tables,
and I backed Jason with your own money,
and he ends up double-crossing me.
Can we go?
Good luck, Lorena.
I'm Hando Payne, district marshal.
Understand there's been a killin'.
Well, you're a little late, Hando.
Late?
That'll be the day.
Never have so many owed so much.
You know, sir, you sure can pick 'em.
I better quit while I'm ahead.
A lady said to give this to you.
Why, that's amazing, a Spanish doubloon.
Otis, this is one of the storied pieces of eight.
And there are thousands more
where these came from.
By Jove, she's so...
So un-English!
But I need your help, senor.
They are trying to strip me of my heritage.
I would be so grateful for your help.
Oh, I feel sure we can, uh, help her.
Don't you?
It's an intriguing prospect, eh, Mr. Yuma?
Would you care to join Mr. Rumph and me?
No, thanks.
I had enough trouble the last time you two helped somebody.
Adios.
Be a good earl.
♪ Johnny Yuma was a rebel ♪
♪ He roamed through the West ♪
♪ Did Johnny Yuma, the Rebel ♪
♪ He wandered alone ♪
♪ He got fightin' mad, this rebel lad ♪
♪ He packed no star as he wandered far ♪
♪ Where the only law was a hook and a draw ♪
♪ The Rebel ♪ ♪ Away ♪
♪ Johnny Yuma ♪ ♪ Away rode the Rebel ♪
♪ Johnny Yuma was a rebel ♪
♪ He roamed through the West ♪
♪ Did Johnny Yuma, the Rebel ♪
♪ He wandered alone ♪
♪ He searched the land, this restless lad ♪
♪ He was panther quick and leather tough ♪
♪ 'Cause he figured that he had been pushed enough ♪
♪ The Rebel ♪ ♪ Away ♪
♪ Johnny Yuma ♪ ♪ Away rode the Rebel ♪
♪ Johnny Yuma ♪
♪ John Yuma ♪
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