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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[hooves clopping]
4
00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:18,777
[suspenseful orchestral music]
5
00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:29,684
[unsettling electronic music]
6
00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:37,347
Howdy, folks.
7
00:00:37,382 --> 00:00:39,142
Bob is the name.
8
00:00:39,177 --> 00:00:42,387
What brings y'all to my
humble abode of gasoline?
9
00:00:42,421 --> 00:00:44,941
Don't see too many
city slickers out here.
10
00:00:44,975 --> 00:00:48,255
For all you know, we just
a few corn-fed hicks stopping
11
00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:50,015
in from a few towns over.
12
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:54,606
Boys, stop giving this
handsome man a hard time.
13
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,781
Why, you know, you're sweeter
than vanilla honey sticks.
14
00:00:57,816 --> 00:00:59,024
[groans]
15
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,508
Hey, Sandy.
16
00:01:00,543 --> 00:01:02,717
What's that odor?
17
00:01:02,752 --> 00:01:04,926
When was your last
bathroom break?
18
00:01:04,961 --> 00:01:06,721
Let's change, clean you up.
19
00:01:06,756 --> 00:01:10,932
Just an accident, accident.
20
00:01:10,967 --> 00:01:18,319
We figured that a trip out
here could jog mom's memory.
21
00:01:18,354 --> 00:01:22,151
She spent a lot of time
when she was young out here.
22
00:01:22,185 --> 00:01:25,257
And we need her to remember.
23
00:01:25,292 --> 00:01:27,328
It's a big one.
24
00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:28,640
Oh, look!
25
00:01:28,674 --> 00:01:30,366
It's my lucky day.
26
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,991
Oh, I just found peanuts,
pink peanuts I wonder,
27
00:01:35,025 --> 00:01:39,996
is this one unsalted
or is this one spicy?
28
00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:42,067
[groans] Ooh, that's spicy.
29
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,484
[groans] I'm gonna
need some more.
30
00:01:45,519 --> 00:01:48,211
No, no, no, you can't do this.
31
00:01:48,246 --> 00:01:50,110
[moaning]
32
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,767
I'm glad everybody
was wearing nose plugs.
33
00:01:52,802 --> 00:01:55,149
What y'all doing out here?
Hey, y'all got cameras and shit?
34
00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:56,116
What's up?
35
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,427
Small P in the
motherfucking house!
36
00:01:57,462 --> 00:01:58,877
Small P!
37
00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:00,050
Come on over here.
38
00:02:00,085 --> 00:02:01,431
Cut, cut, cut, cut!
39
00:02:01,466 --> 00:02:02,536
What's up, baby.
40
00:02:02,570 --> 00:02:04,054
Oh my god, it's been forever.
41
00:02:04,089 --> 00:02:04,848
Sit down.
42
00:02:04,883 --> 00:02:06,678
Excuse me, gentlemen.
43
00:02:06,712 --> 00:02:09,957
Jim, it's very exciting that you
are visiting with your Little P
44
00:02:09,991 --> 00:02:10,751
here.
45
00:02:10,785 --> 00:02:11,924
We're burning daylight.
46
00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:13,892
We need to get the
fucking show on the road.
47
00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:15,618
You can talk to
him another time.
48
00:02:15,652 --> 00:02:17,275
Who the fuck is Small P?
49
00:02:17,309 --> 00:02:19,691
Everybody know who
the fuck Small P is.
50
00:02:19,725 --> 00:02:22,072
Jim, if we keep wasting
time like this every day,
51
00:02:22,107 --> 00:02:23,764
we're never going to
get anything done.
52
00:02:23,798 --> 00:02:25,110
I quit.
53
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,561
All you care about is these
homeboys here and smoking
54
00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:29,010
that stinking peace pipe.
55
00:02:29,045 --> 00:02:30,840
I'm not your homeboy.
56
00:02:30,874 --> 00:02:32,186
He used to be a good director.
57
00:02:32,221 --> 00:02:34,154
And now he's just a gamer.
58
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:35,569
- No, no.
- I'm going home.
59
00:02:35,603 --> 00:02:36,501
No, you-- you cannot.
60
00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:37,640
I'm out of here!
61
00:02:37,674 --> 00:02:38,572
I'm out of here!
- No.
62
00:02:38,606 --> 00:02:39,849
I want to go home!
63
00:02:39,883 --> 00:02:40,919
I want to go home!
64
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,092
Mom, mom, mom, mom.
65
00:02:42,127 --> 00:02:42,921
Mom, please.
66
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,681
You can't lose your home, Mom.
67
00:02:44,716 --> 00:02:46,062
You gotta do this.
- I'm sorry.
68
00:02:46,096 --> 00:02:47,028
What's going on here?
69
00:02:47,063 --> 00:02:47,891
I'm sorry.
70
00:02:47,926 --> 00:02:48,927
I'm sorry, Jim.
71
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:49,928
I'll be good.
72
00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,136
No, I-- I'll be good.
73
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,793
No, I'll do what you want.
74
00:02:52,827 --> 00:02:53,966
Yeah, I sorry.
75
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:54,760
I sorry.
76
00:02:54,795 --> 00:02:55,968
Come on.
77
00:02:56,003 --> 00:02:57,660
CREW MEMBER: Come on,
come on, everybody!
78
00:02:57,694 --> 00:02:59,075
We need to get rolling!
79
00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:00,559
We're losing daylight!
80
00:03:00,594 --> 00:03:01,905
Let's get back to work!
81
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:03,597
Ah, come on!
82
00:03:03,631 --> 00:03:04,874
Damn!
83
00:03:04,908 --> 00:03:07,083
You still think taking
this job in the classifieds
84
00:03:07,117 --> 00:03:08,222
was a smart move?
85
00:03:08,257 --> 00:03:10,431
It's like a jackass
factory out there.
86
00:03:10,466 --> 00:03:12,813
I bet you not one of these
idiots can even do a kickflip.
87
00:03:12,847 --> 00:03:13,952
You want to save
the shop, right?
88
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,367
- Yeah.
- OK.
89
00:03:15,402 --> 00:03:18,888
[exciting punk music]
90
00:03:24,376 --> 00:03:26,861
[skateboard clacking]
91
00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:29,070
Yes!
92
00:03:29,105 --> 00:03:30,348
Yes!
93
00:03:30,382 --> 00:03:31,383
Yes!
94
00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:34,006
This will be a
great fucking day.
95
00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:36,008
[body thuds]
96
00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:41,428
[exciting punk music]
97
00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:04,140
[body thuds]
98
00:04:04,174 --> 00:04:12,252
HOWARD: [sighs] [groans] Yeah!
99
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:13,322
Come on!
100
00:04:13,356 --> 00:04:15,772
Get on that horse!
101
00:04:15,807 --> 00:04:20,708
[imitating electric guitar]
Yeah!
102
00:04:20,743 --> 00:04:21,709
Woo!
103
00:04:21,744 --> 00:04:22,848
Come on!
104
00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:25,851
[ominous orchestral music]
105
00:04:25,886 --> 00:04:28,889
[choir harmonizing]
106
00:04:36,414 --> 00:04:39,624
Carissa, give me a $1!
107
00:04:39,658 --> 00:04:40,521
Give me a $1!
108
00:04:40,556 --> 00:04:41,833
I need a $1!
109
00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:44,076
Armpit farts using a sock
puppet is not an instrument.
110
00:04:44,111 --> 00:04:45,837
What's up, asshats?
111
00:04:45,871 --> 00:04:47,217
What's up?
112
00:04:47,252 --> 00:04:50,497
And what brings the two of
you out here on this fine day?
113
00:04:50,531 --> 00:04:54,466
Did I hear someone say
something about armpit fart?
114
00:04:54,501 --> 00:04:55,329
Yay!
115
00:04:55,364 --> 00:04:56,192
Armpit farts!
116
00:04:56,226 --> 00:04:56,986
Armpit farts!
117
00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,125
[armpit tooting]
118
00:04:58,159 --> 00:04:58,953
Carissa!
119
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:04,062
My hand's all fucked up, man.
120
00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:04,856
What are you doing?
121
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:07,583
[armpit tooting]
122
00:05:07,617 --> 00:05:08,515
[groaning]
123
00:05:08,549 --> 00:05:09,585
- [screams]
- Oh my god!
124
00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:10,413
Ah!
125
00:05:10,448 --> 00:05:12,208
[screaming]
126
00:05:12,242 --> 00:05:14,210
Oh, it burns!
127
00:05:14,244 --> 00:05:15,625
My hole!
My poor little hole!
128
00:05:15,660 --> 00:05:16,523
[screams]
129
00:05:16,557 --> 00:05:18,007
[flesh crackling]
130
00:05:19,526 --> 00:05:21,976
[groaning]
131
00:05:22,011 --> 00:05:23,461
[armpit tooting]
132
00:05:23,495 --> 00:05:24,427
Oh!
133
00:05:24,462 --> 00:05:26,395
[screams]
134
00:05:26,429 --> 00:05:29,329
[suspenseful orchestral music]
135
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,748
[fluid plopping, sloshing]
136
00:05:38,199 --> 00:05:40,132
[body thuds]
137
00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:46,000
Mm!
138
00:05:46,035 --> 00:05:47,312
That's good bum juice.
139
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:57,011
[slurping] [gargling]
Best batch yet.
140
00:05:57,046 --> 00:05:57,840
What the!
141
00:06:00,532 --> 00:06:01,291
Hey!
142
00:06:01,326 --> 00:06:02,983
Hey!
143
00:06:03,017 --> 00:06:05,088
What do you think you're
doing, you little turd bird?
144
00:06:05,123 --> 00:06:06,262
KURT: Nothing!
Nothing!
145
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:07,919
Hasn't anybody ever told
you it's rude to watch?
146
00:06:07,953 --> 00:06:08,713
KURT: No, no!
147
00:06:08,747 --> 00:06:09,541
[whimpers]
148
00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:10,680
No free shows!
149
00:06:10,715 --> 00:06:12,130
You hear me?
- I'm not looking!
150
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,338
I'm not watching!
I'm not watching anything.
151
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,270
No free shows.
152
00:06:14,304 --> 00:06:15,444
I got big plans for you.
KURT: No!
153
00:06:15,478 --> 00:06:16,237
No!
No, no!
154
00:06:16,272 --> 00:06:17,066
No!
- [grunts]
155
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:20,138
KURT: [screams] What are those?
156
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,829
You're a real fucking cannibal!
157
00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:22,623
No!
158
00:06:22,658 --> 00:06:23,659
[groans]
159
00:06:23,693 --> 00:06:24,798
KURT: My board!
- Oh!
160
00:06:24,832 --> 00:06:25,592
Ow!
161
00:06:25,626 --> 00:06:26,420
Ow!
162
00:06:26,455 --> 00:06:31,114
[whimpers]
163
00:06:31,149 --> 00:06:32,806
Thanks for the
new board, douche.
164
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:33,600
Enjoy your soup!
165
00:06:33,634 --> 00:06:34,428
Blech!
166
00:06:34,463 --> 00:06:38,328
[yelling] Hey!
167
00:06:38,363 --> 00:06:41,573
Come back here with that
board, you bonehead!
168
00:06:41,608 --> 00:06:43,748
My daddy gave me that board!
169
00:06:43,782 --> 00:06:46,544
He'll tan my hide if I lose it.
170
00:06:46,578 --> 00:06:48,408
No!
171
00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:50,720
That board has unholy powers.
172
00:06:50,755 --> 00:06:52,135
[wheels whirring]
173
00:06:52,170 --> 00:06:53,585
[whoosh]
174
00:06:55,035 --> 00:06:57,002
Game over.
175
00:06:57,037 --> 00:07:00,868
I'm in hot cheese now.
176
00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:03,492
Now I'm stuck here on Earth.
177
00:07:03,526 --> 00:07:05,148
DISEMBODIED VOICE:
I know I was bad!
178
00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:07,219
And I fucking loved being bad!
179
00:07:07,254 --> 00:07:08,738
Where is it?
180
00:07:08,773 --> 00:07:11,016
[overlapping chatter]
181
00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,917
What do you want?
182
00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:20,232
No.
183
00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:22,269
No, whoa, whoa, whoa.
184
00:07:22,303 --> 00:07:23,581
Hey!
185
00:07:23,615 --> 00:07:24,754
Hello?
186
00:07:24,789 --> 00:07:30,760
You have entered an
escape room with no exit.
187
00:07:30,795 --> 00:07:32,693
Your actions on
the earthly plane
188
00:07:32,728 --> 00:07:35,558
have led to this predicament.
189
00:07:35,593 --> 00:07:37,387
What the fuck is this place?
190
00:07:37,422 --> 00:07:39,907
This looks more like a daycare
center than an escape room.
191
00:07:39,942 --> 00:07:42,358
You better watch
that tongue, kid.
192
00:07:42,392 --> 00:07:50,400
[scoffs] Or I'll send in
some hungry sludge worms,
193
00:07:50,435 --> 00:07:52,989
eat that tongue
out of your mouth.
194
00:07:53,024 --> 00:07:54,128
Sludge worms?
195
00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:55,716
Where the hell is my board?
196
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:58,823
Your board has changed hands.
197
00:07:58,857 --> 00:08:01,170
But all will be
revealed soon enough.
198
00:08:03,897 --> 00:08:10,075
Just so you know, no one ever
wins in this escape room.
199
00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:11,836
[chains clink, latch clicks]
200
00:08:13,354 --> 00:08:15,805
[suspenseful music]
201
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:22,363
[groans] [whispers]
They can't all be locked!
202
00:08:22,398 --> 00:08:24,814
[laughter, applause]
203
00:08:26,057 --> 00:08:29,923
DANTE: [cackles maniacally]
The pain of it all!
204
00:08:29,957 --> 00:08:32,719
[laughter]
205
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,861
Come visit me, son.
206
00:08:36,895 --> 00:08:38,759
There is nothing to fear.
207
00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:40,278
[cackles]
208
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,659
[groans]
209
00:08:41,693 --> 00:08:43,592
You can trust me.
210
00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:46,974
I used to be a game show
host in the surface world
211
00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:51,531
until I killed
everybody in the studio
212
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,187
for looking at me cockeyed.
213
00:08:53,222 --> 00:08:53,981
Yeah!
214
00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:54,948
[applause]
215
00:08:54,982 --> 00:08:56,605
Holy shit.
216
00:08:56,639 --> 00:08:59,780
No swearing on this show.
217
00:08:59,815 --> 00:09:01,368
We are live.
218
00:09:01,402 --> 00:09:04,198
And our sponsors
won't like it one bit.
219
00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:07,270
[game show theme music]
220
00:09:08,686 --> 00:09:12,897
Well, folks, welcome to your
favorite game show, Escape Room
221
00:09:12,931 --> 00:09:13,829
From Hell.
222
00:09:13,863 --> 00:09:15,209
[cheers, applause]
223
00:09:15,244 --> 00:09:19,489
As always, I'm your
host, Dante A. Today we
224
00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:21,630
have a special guest with us.
225
00:09:21,664 --> 00:09:23,493
His name is-- hmm.
226
00:09:23,528 --> 00:09:29,465
[groans] What's the
deal, pecker head?
227
00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:33,296
What is your name
and why are you here?
228
00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:34,366
I'm Kurt.
229
00:09:34,401 --> 00:09:35,920
I'm looking for my
fucking board, man.
230
00:09:35,954 --> 00:09:36,748
Have you seen it?
231
00:09:36,783 --> 00:09:39,164
I said no foul language here!
232
00:09:39,199 --> 00:09:40,752
[audience exclaims]
233
00:09:40,787 --> 00:09:44,204
Hey, gent, is this
the board you're after?
234
00:09:44,238 --> 00:09:49,623
[laughs] If you want it,
you better come and get it.
235
00:09:49,658 --> 00:09:52,177
[laughs]
236
00:09:52,212 --> 00:09:53,800
Oh, god.
237
00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:55,111
Wait, come back!
238
00:09:55,146 --> 00:09:59,599
I'll damn you for exposing
my shame, you motherfucker!
239
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,980
DETECTIVE: This just
doesn't make any damn sense.
240
00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:04,914
Human beings don't just
turn into primordial ooze,
241
00:10:04,949 --> 00:10:08,469
not without at least some
sort of blunt force trauma.
242
00:10:08,504 --> 00:10:09,988
Maybe someone's
out here spraying
243
00:10:10,023 --> 00:10:13,336
down the homeless with a squirt
gun full of acid or something.
244
00:10:13,371 --> 00:10:14,717
You wouldn't
know this about me,
245
00:10:14,752 --> 00:10:16,477
but I'm an amateur archeologist.
246
00:10:16,512 --> 00:10:20,205
And to my eye, this looks like
an ancient artifact to me.
247
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,828
I'll go ahead and
see if I can find
248
00:10:21,862 --> 00:10:25,832
anybody who might be
able to help identify
249
00:10:25,866 --> 00:10:27,281
the owner of this board.
250
00:10:27,316 --> 00:10:29,559
I feel like it's
an important clue.
251
00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:30,906
I feel like it's our only clue.
252
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,497
Bag it up.
253
00:10:36,532 --> 00:10:39,431
[bag rustling]
254
00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,746
[door creaks]
255
00:10:43,781 --> 00:10:44,713
[gasps]
256
00:10:44,747 --> 00:10:46,680
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
257
00:10:46,715 --> 00:10:53,653
Any disgusting concoction you
think of can become a drink.
258
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,344
[cackles]
259
00:10:55,378 --> 00:10:56,207
What?
260
00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:59,313
Like a diet soda with easy ice?
261
00:10:59,348 --> 00:11:03,559
My boy, you're
thinking too simple.
262
00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:11,912
More like an ear-worm
elixir or a maggot martini.
263
00:11:11,947 --> 00:11:16,952
Or my favorite-- bile
duct Bloody Mary.
264
00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:19,471
Just make me a
slippery nipple.
265
00:11:19,506 --> 00:11:20,921
I could use a drink, I guess.
266
00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:23,372
My throat is dry as hell, so.
267
00:11:23,406 --> 00:11:24,166
Eh!
268
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,133
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
269
00:11:26,168 --> 00:11:31,898
[laughs] Ah, ah, ah.
270
00:11:31,932 --> 00:11:33,796
There you go, my boy.
271
00:11:33,831 --> 00:11:35,625
You let me know how it tastes.
272
00:11:42,046 --> 00:11:50,399
[screaming]
273
00:11:50,433 --> 00:11:53,851
[thunder rumbling]
274
00:11:56,854 --> 00:12:09,176
[groaning] Dude,
this is no bueno.
275
00:12:09,211 --> 00:12:12,421
I've never been away from
my hell home for this long.
276
00:12:12,455 --> 00:12:14,595
[somber music]
277
00:12:14,630 --> 00:12:18,668
I usually only skate up to
the surface on a day trip.
278
00:12:22,224 --> 00:12:24,640
You know, I thought
I was perfectly clear.
279
00:12:24,674 --> 00:12:28,195
Number one, I didn't want
anybody making a mess on my set.
280
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:30,404
What do you think
this is, a farm?
281
00:12:30,439 --> 00:12:34,339
And number two, I told you
shooting porn on my set
282
00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:35,824
is strictly prohibited.
283
00:12:35,858 --> 00:12:37,101
This is not porn.
284
00:12:37,135 --> 00:12:39,724
This is just weird people
touching each other.
285
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,726
If I find the
crew member that's
286
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,247
been eating trash and
collecting turds out of the john
287
00:12:45,281 --> 00:12:48,146
one more time, I'm
going to kick their ass.
288
00:12:48,181 --> 00:12:50,597
[utensil tapping]
289
00:12:52,116 --> 00:12:54,083
I hope you're all
enjoying this evening's
290
00:12:54,118 --> 00:12:55,464
food I prepared for you all.
291
00:12:55,498 --> 00:12:59,468
Due to the amount of country
that you all possess within you,
292
00:12:59,502 --> 00:13:03,852
I have rubbed my nuts on
every single cup and utensil
293
00:13:03,886 --> 00:13:07,165
that you have put into your
unsanctimonious mouths.
294
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:16,209
[panting] [sighs]
[grunts] Let me out of here!
295
00:13:16,243 --> 00:13:19,246
Oh, fuck, the guy in the
straitjacket was right.
296
00:13:19,281 --> 00:13:20,109
I'm not getting out.
297
00:13:20,144 --> 00:13:20,903
[skateboard pops]
298
00:13:20,938 --> 00:13:23,043
Ow!
299
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:27,599
You-- you brought
me here, didn't you?
300
00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:29,291
Maybe you can get me out.
301
00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:31,086
Fuck, here goes nothing.
302
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,468
[suspenseful music]
303
00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:36,470
[portal booms, body thuds]
304
00:13:48,206 --> 00:13:55,282
For Satan's sake, how did
both of you let that kid escape?
305
00:13:55,317 --> 00:13:58,527
Nobody ever escapes.
306
00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:00,391
He defiled me.
307
00:14:00,425 --> 00:14:02,151
How dare him!
308
00:14:02,186 --> 00:14:04,395
He's not gonna get
away with this.
309
00:14:04,429 --> 00:14:06,086
I'm gonna get him!
310
00:14:06,121 --> 00:14:13,197
Yeah, well, he splashed me in
the eyes with toxic squid inks!
311
00:14:13,231 --> 00:14:14,819
The boy will be back.
312
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:18,271
Nobody stays out for long.
313
00:14:18,305 --> 00:14:21,136
Should we let
the big man know?
314
00:14:21,170 --> 00:14:23,690
You mean the record keeper?
315
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:26,900
You think getting
pantsed, it was bad?
316
00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:30,179
The big man will
turn you into pants.
317
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:36,392
All right, girls, now,
how do we make holy water?
318
00:14:36,427 --> 00:14:37,531
Get water.
319
00:14:37,566 --> 00:14:38,670
Put it on the stove.
320
00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:40,362
And cook the crap out of it.
321
00:14:40,396 --> 00:14:42,260
No, it's boil the hell out of.
322
00:14:42,295 --> 00:14:44,331
Boil the hell out of it.
323
00:14:44,366 --> 00:14:47,058
Have any of you guys seen
this skateboard around?
324
00:14:51,373 --> 00:14:53,720
Sir, you seem a bit nervous.
325
00:14:53,754 --> 00:14:54,859
Are you feeling all right?
326
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:55,895
I'm one of the good ones.
327
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:57,206
You can trust me.
328
00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:59,588
It's just that when a man
in uniform confronts me,
329
00:14:59,622 --> 00:15:02,591
I get flashbacks of
military academy.
330
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:04,351
Our father's
innocent, officer.
331
00:15:04,386 --> 00:15:06,043
The AC in our car is broken.
332
00:15:06,077 --> 00:15:07,354
Yeah, he wouldn't hurt a fly.
333
00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:09,253
He makes me kill them.
334
00:15:09,287 --> 00:15:10,116
Sir.
335
00:15:10,150 --> 00:15:11,703
Sir, sir, come here, come here.
336
00:15:11,738 --> 00:15:14,741
You know, running away doesn't
exactly make you look innocent
337
00:15:14,775 --> 00:15:15,880
now, does it?
338
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,503
Look, sire, I used
the immortal blade
339
00:15:18,538 --> 00:15:20,989
to cut deep this time.
340
00:15:21,023 --> 00:15:24,130
You could see the muscles
and the veins and everything.
341
00:15:24,164 --> 00:15:25,890
[suspenseful music]
342
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:31,206
[groans] [sighs]
That's nice, Aleister.
343
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:37,798
You see, my son Howard didn't
come home for supper last night.
344
00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:40,974
He could be beneath the
floorboards of my old house.
345
00:15:41,009 --> 00:15:44,012
[chuckles] You know,
there were some, uh,
346
00:15:44,046 --> 00:15:48,913
local neighborhood boys who
accidentally got trapped there.
347
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,260
They used to mow my lawn.
348
00:15:51,295 --> 00:15:56,576
Ever since I gave him
that infernal skateboard,
349
00:15:56,610 --> 00:16:00,476
he's been acting like
a common human being.
350
00:16:00,511 --> 00:16:02,409
You shouldn't
coddle him so much.
351
00:16:02,444 --> 00:16:04,618
Howard was bound to spread
his fallen angel wings
352
00:16:04,653 --> 00:16:05,792
one of these days.
353
00:16:05,826 --> 00:16:09,589
Look, sire, I removed a
pinky just for you and--
354
00:16:09,623 --> 00:16:13,973
How many times do I have
to tell you, Aleister?
355
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,595
I'm not in the mood!
356
00:16:15,629 --> 00:16:18,322
But I thought you liked it
when there was blood and guts.
357
00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:19,150
That's it.
358
00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:20,945
Security!
359
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,360
Take him away!
360
00:16:22,395 --> 00:16:24,293
You heard the big man, chump.
361
00:16:24,328 --> 00:16:25,398
Let's take a walk.
362
00:16:25,432 --> 00:16:28,366
Yeah, let's get
some nice hell air.
363
00:16:28,401 --> 00:16:29,574
But we're having fun.
364
00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:31,266
I'm trying to entertain.
365
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:32,646
SECURITY GUARD:
Who gives a fuck?
366
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:35,925
Holy shit!
367
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,134
Man, what kind
of board is that?
368
00:16:37,168 --> 00:16:38,376
- That thing is dope, bro.
- Where'd you get that?
369
00:16:38,411 --> 00:16:39,550
Sh, sh.
Calm down!
370
00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:40,792
Calm down!
- You gotta let me ride that.
371
00:16:40,827 --> 00:16:42,242
No, no, no, no,
no, you don't get it.
372
00:16:42,277 --> 00:16:43,692
I've got a story
to tell you, man.
373
00:16:43,726 --> 00:16:45,832
I've literally been
to hell and back.
374
00:16:45,866 --> 00:16:47,075
Hell and back, huh?
375
00:16:47,109 --> 00:16:48,869
That sounds like my
early morning ritual.
376
00:16:48,904 --> 00:16:51,010
You know I stay on that
gas and dust it, brah.
377
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,804
You keep that shit
up, you're going to be
378
00:16:52,839 --> 00:16:54,220
in a padded room for life.
379
00:16:54,254 --> 00:16:56,877
My drug of choice
is EDM festivals.
380
00:16:56,912 --> 00:16:59,535
[beat boxing]
381
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,882
Sorry, Ruby, we can't all
get high on life, all right?
382
00:17:01,917 --> 00:17:03,850
Some of us need something
a little bit stronger.
383
00:17:03,884 --> 00:17:04,678
No, listen, man!
384
00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:05,783
It's this board!
385
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:07,819
It's got some kind
of unholy power.
386
00:17:07,854 --> 00:17:09,338
It can send people
straight to hell.
387
00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:10,167
I'm serious.
388
00:17:10,201 --> 00:17:11,478
I think I stole it from a demon.
389
00:17:11,513 --> 00:17:13,515
He drank people through a straw.
390
00:17:13,549 --> 00:17:15,241
The only thing I
notice about that board
391
00:17:15,275 --> 00:17:17,415
is it's lumpy and ugly.
392
00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:20,073
I can prove it!
393
00:17:20,108 --> 00:17:22,834
So, Aleister, sorry we had
to rough you up a little bit,
394
00:17:22,869 --> 00:17:26,114
but the devil's had it up
to about here with his most
395
00:17:26,148 --> 00:17:28,150
little unbegotten son.
396
00:17:28,185 --> 00:17:31,188
Oh, I mean, mistakes
were made on both ends.
397
00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:33,017
You know, I never
did ask the rest
398
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,639
of you what you're
all doing down here
399
00:17:34,674 --> 00:17:36,227
working for the big cheese.
400
00:17:36,262 --> 00:17:37,539
I'd really like to hear that.
401
00:17:37,573 --> 00:17:39,196
Well, I can go first.
402
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:43,096
Virgil, as you know, we
were partners up there.
403
00:17:43,131 --> 00:17:45,961
I was turning perps
into Swiss cheese,
404
00:17:45,995 --> 00:17:48,653
and he was chewing up raw steak.
405
00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:53,002
But then we went in,
guns blazing and--
406
00:17:53,037 --> 00:17:55,281
to this drug bust gone bad.
407
00:17:55,315 --> 00:17:57,938
Well, you know, I don't
think we should have
408
00:17:57,973 --> 00:18:00,872
had an open casket funeral.
409
00:18:00,907 --> 00:18:02,219
That was a big mistake.
410
00:18:02,253 --> 00:18:03,427
Lot of bullet holes.
411
00:18:03,461 --> 00:18:04,911
Yep.
412
00:18:04,945 --> 00:18:09,226
That's the thing, you
know, murder is, uh--
413
00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,779
isn't just a sin with--
414
00:18:10,813 --> 00:18:11,987
with bad people.
415
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:14,990
It's still a sin with--
416
00:18:15,024 --> 00:18:15,991
with innocents.
417
00:18:16,025 --> 00:18:17,441
You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.
418
00:18:17,475 --> 00:18:18,407
Yeah.
419
00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:19,788
Hmm.
420
00:18:19,822 --> 00:18:22,135
OK.
421
00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:23,723
Next?
422
00:18:23,757 --> 00:18:26,243
I used to run college parties.
423
00:18:26,277 --> 00:18:28,728
And I had the whole shebang.
424
00:18:28,762 --> 00:18:31,938
I had-- I had a petting
zoo and I had a DJ--
425
00:18:31,972 --> 00:18:34,389
all the fun stuff.
426
00:18:34,423 --> 00:18:35,942
Then one day the-- the--
427
00:18:35,976 --> 00:18:38,979
the donkey made a little bit
of a mess in the living room.
428
00:18:39,014 --> 00:18:42,259
And the family refused to pay.
429
00:18:42,293 --> 00:18:45,124
So I went back later
on to gas their house.
430
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,918
Ended up exploding myself too.
431
00:18:46,953 --> 00:18:47,712
Ouch.
432
00:18:47,747 --> 00:18:49,542
I woke up here.
433
00:18:49,576 --> 00:18:50,681
Wow.
434
00:18:50,715 --> 00:18:52,717
Nice.
435
00:18:52,752 --> 00:18:55,582
OK, so what about you, Judas?
436
00:18:55,617 --> 00:18:56,928
Nah, how about Foley?
437
00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:57,929
How about Foley?
438
00:18:57,964 --> 00:18:59,172
What happened to you?
439
00:18:59,207 --> 00:19:00,967
Well, I was in a
bit of a pickle, boy.
440
00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:03,763
I'd hide cameras
in the ladies room.
441
00:19:03,797 --> 00:19:05,799
One day, a female
bodybuilder caught me
442
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:07,422
and threw me out the window.
443
00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:09,009
Face ended up like ground beef.
444
00:19:09,044 --> 00:19:12,081
And I got here
missing my dingus.
445
00:19:12,116 --> 00:19:15,015
VIRGIL: That must have been a
real surprise the next morning.
446
00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:17,363
So, Judas, what's your truth?
447
00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:18,743
Why don't you regale us?
448
00:19:18,778 --> 00:19:23,714
Um, I had an
altercation at my school.
449
00:19:23,748 --> 00:19:27,787
Things were said and a few
heads rolled, including my own.
450
00:19:27,821 --> 00:19:31,204
VIRGIL: Ah, sounds like
a real gutter ball.
451
00:19:31,239 --> 00:19:35,657
So stranger, Mr. Stranger,
I don't recognize
452
00:19:35,691 --> 00:19:36,968
you from when you came in.
453
00:19:37,003 --> 00:19:38,073
I just dropped in.
454
00:19:38,107 --> 00:19:39,350
My name is Christopher.
455
00:19:39,385 --> 00:19:41,283
I guess you could say I
had an eye for talent.
456
00:19:41,318 --> 00:19:42,836
Ah, a shutterbug.
457
00:19:42,871 --> 00:19:44,976
Did any of your stuff
ever get published?
458
00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:45,943
Just my mugshot.
459
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:47,876
That was after I
was dead, of course.
460
00:19:47,910 --> 00:19:49,222
Wow.
461
00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:51,190
Well, you know, it's too bad
you put your camera down.
462
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,744
Because we always could
use a photographer
463
00:19:53,778 --> 00:19:55,780
here to take pictures
of the devil, you know,
464
00:19:55,815 --> 00:19:57,368
make him look good.
465
00:19:57,403 --> 00:20:00,233
People say he's standoffish
and unapproachable.
466
00:20:00,268 --> 00:20:01,027
But I don't know.
467
00:20:01,061 --> 00:20:02,511
Soup's on!
468
00:20:02,546 --> 00:20:04,582
Soup is on!
469
00:20:04,617 --> 00:20:06,998
Delicious eyeball soup.
470
00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:10,485
And might I add, the green
Irish chunks are the sweetest.
471
00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:11,865
You know what, Tom?
472
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,592
You come in here with this rusty
cart with the squeaky wheels
473
00:20:14,627 --> 00:20:16,629
every Satan-forsaken day.
474
00:20:16,663 --> 00:20:17,906
And for what?
475
00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:18,976
We don't want it.
476
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,184
We're not going to eat it.
477
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,497
It looks like shit.
478
00:20:22,531 --> 00:20:25,431
Sir, I might
add that up there,
479
00:20:25,465 --> 00:20:28,641
I was the personal
chef to Dr. Beef
480
00:20:28,675 --> 00:20:31,954
Curtis and the Calibellends.
481
00:20:31,989 --> 00:20:35,648
I think I know how
to put on a spread.
482
00:20:35,682 --> 00:20:36,994
Fuck it, I'm dead anyway.
483
00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:39,445
Let me try one of your
barbecue ear sliders.
484
00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:40,239
All right.
485
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:41,032
Be careful though.
486
00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:43,966
They are spicy.
487
00:20:44,001 --> 00:20:51,353
[munches] [screams]
488
00:20:51,388 --> 00:20:53,976
Wow, another satisfied sucker.
489
00:20:54,011 --> 00:20:58,947
Why is my son such a disgrace?
490
00:20:58,981 --> 00:21:02,985
I gave him life in
this toilet bowl.
491
00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:07,024
And I can flush
him just as easy.
492
00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:10,338
But it's not your
fault, my liege.
493
00:21:10,372 --> 00:21:14,065
You know what they're like when
their horns start coming in.
494
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,101
[groans]
495
00:21:15,135 --> 00:21:16,723
Those little demons--
496
00:21:16,758 --> 00:21:18,863
[groans]
497
00:21:18,898 --> 00:21:20,796
--they just rebel at that age.
498
00:21:20,831 --> 00:21:22,833
[groans]
499
00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:25,836
My Dark Lord, do you
think it's time to send
500
00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:27,872
a search party to the surface?
501
00:21:27,907 --> 00:21:34,258
Not yet, but maybe
after a full 48 hours.
502
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,571
That'll teach him.
503
00:21:36,605 --> 00:21:37,572
I don't know, man.
504
00:21:37,606 --> 00:21:38,676
It's this fucking board.
505
00:21:38,711 --> 00:21:40,989
It's got some like,
really evil powers, man.
506
00:21:41,023 --> 00:21:43,129
Evil fucking powers, huh?
507
00:21:43,163 --> 00:21:44,026
I'm so scared.
508
00:21:44,061 --> 00:21:45,200
I'm serious.
509
00:21:45,234 --> 00:21:46,891
Do I look scared? 'Cause
this is my scared face.
510
00:21:46,926 --> 00:21:48,065
I'm serious.
511
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:49,929
Fuck it, whatever, ride it.
512
00:21:49,963 --> 00:21:53,035
Say motherfucking less, brah.
513
00:21:53,070 --> 00:21:56,004
[energy whooshing]
514
00:21:56,038 --> 00:21:58,247
Fuck!
515
00:21:58,282 --> 00:21:59,179
Fuck you, Chase!
516
00:21:59,214 --> 00:22:00,940
I told him this
was gonna happen!
517
00:22:00,974 --> 00:22:03,425
He couldn't just believe me.
518
00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:04,668
Fuck!
519
00:22:04,702 --> 00:22:05,565
Shit.
520
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,670
Shit Oh my god.
521
00:22:06,704 --> 00:22:09,500
Fuck.
522
00:22:09,535 --> 00:22:11,260
[energy whooshing]
523
00:22:11,295 --> 00:22:12,848
Oh, yeah.
524
00:22:12,883 --> 00:22:15,092
DISEMBODIED VOICE: What
the devil did I do?
525
00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:16,058
I think I'm home.
526
00:22:16,093 --> 00:22:17,336
[distant arguing]
527
00:22:18,509 --> 00:22:20,442
DISEMBODIED VOICE: It
wasn't my fault, grandpa.
528
00:22:20,477 --> 00:22:23,687
Pretty fucking metal.
529
00:22:23,721 --> 00:22:25,654
This is exactly what
I thought the devil's
530
00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:26,862
asshole would sound like.
531
00:22:26,897 --> 00:22:29,071
DISEMBODIED VOICE: Why
are you doing this to me?
532
00:22:29,106 --> 00:22:31,419
I think I might stay awhile.
533
00:22:31,453 --> 00:22:34,767
[suspenseful music]
534
00:22:41,532 --> 00:22:43,120
Oh, no, no, no, no.
535
00:22:48,539 --> 00:22:50,921
OK, nice trick, Kurt.
536
00:22:50,955 --> 00:22:52,888
Now where's Chase?
537
00:22:52,923 --> 00:22:54,752
He may be a dick,
but he's our dick.
538
00:22:54,787 --> 00:22:57,755
I told you, he's in his
own personal hell now.
539
00:22:57,790 --> 00:22:59,585
He might be back,
but I still haven't
540
00:22:59,619 --> 00:23:00,620
figured out how it works.
541
00:23:06,971 --> 00:23:09,491
I just saw the most
fucked up thing in my life,
542
00:23:09,526 --> 00:23:13,253
even worse than when my cat
Potato ate one of her kittens.
543
00:23:13,288 --> 00:23:15,704
Marianne, how many times
do I have to tell you
544
00:23:15,739 --> 00:23:18,224
you're not supposed
to drink bong water?
545
00:23:18,258 --> 00:23:19,639
Nobody.
546
00:23:19,674 --> 00:23:23,298
You know that skater who always
used to give you melvins?
547
00:23:23,332 --> 00:23:27,336
He vanished into thin air.
548
00:23:27,371 --> 00:23:29,856
Oh, you mean, uh, Caleb Chase.
549
00:23:29,891 --> 00:23:32,618
Yeah, it's funny, I told him if
I ever saw him in my park again,
550
00:23:32,652 --> 00:23:35,966
I was gonna brand his ass
with our skate team logo.
551
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,175
He is so fucking dead.
552
00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:39,901
Kurt and Ruby were there.
553
00:23:39,935 --> 00:23:41,868
Maybe they can tell
us what happened.
554
00:23:41,903 --> 00:23:44,837
I wouldn't talk to those two
shit stains if you paid me.
555
00:23:44,871 --> 00:23:47,633
You know, I was going to
take Ruby to Fiends Fest?
556
00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:49,082
She stood me up.
557
00:23:49,117 --> 00:23:53,293
She was doing her hair or
something, some bullshit.
558
00:23:53,328 --> 00:23:56,158
But I know what I saw.
559
00:23:56,193 --> 00:23:57,643
Come on, we've got
to check it out.
560
00:23:57,677 --> 00:23:58,920
Come on.
561
00:23:58,954 --> 00:24:00,715
[groans] Fine!
562
00:24:00,749 --> 00:24:01,681
Get off me!
563
00:24:01,716 --> 00:24:03,338
[belt snapping]
564
00:24:03,372 --> 00:24:04,995
I'm gonna have
a word with you.
565
00:24:05,029 --> 00:24:06,479
Woody, you gonna forget me?
566
00:24:06,514 --> 00:24:07,549
It's a two-for-one sale.
567
00:24:07,584 --> 00:24:08,861
WOODY: Give him a good beatdown.
568
00:24:08,895 --> 00:24:10,690
[belt snapping]
569
00:24:10,725 --> 00:24:14,038
[suspenseful music]
570
00:24:18,836 --> 00:24:21,252
Oh, shit, the board!
571
00:24:21,287 --> 00:24:26,741
Ah, well, looka here,
a board with wheels.
572
00:24:26,775 --> 00:24:28,328
I thought we agreed
you was gonna play
573
00:24:28,363 --> 00:24:30,676
baseball, a real man's sport.
574
00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:33,368
You're not my real father.
575
00:24:33,402 --> 00:24:35,059
And I don't have to
listen to you anymore.
576
00:24:35,094 --> 00:24:36,785
Calm down, calm down, Woody.
577
00:24:36,820 --> 00:24:40,306
It ain't like we're stuck
in a box of Froot Loops.
578
00:24:40,340 --> 00:24:42,688
You're right, Dill.
579
00:24:42,722 --> 00:24:44,655
You want this board
back, you little prick?
580
00:24:44,690 --> 00:24:45,691
Come take it from me.
581
00:24:45,725 --> 00:24:46,933
[strap thuds]
582
00:24:46,968 --> 00:24:48,590
Oh, Foghorn Leghorn!
583
00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:51,041
My dominoes just went down.
584
00:24:51,075 --> 00:24:51,869
[groans]
585
00:24:51,904 --> 00:24:53,492
Enjoy hell, motherfuckers!
586
00:24:53,526 --> 00:24:55,424
WOODY: You're dead,
you little prick!
587
00:24:55,459 --> 00:24:58,945
[soft dramatic music]
588
00:25:05,469 --> 00:25:07,782
CHASE: Where my hoodlums at?
589
00:25:07,816 --> 00:25:09,059
Hey, hey, hey!
590
00:25:09,093 --> 00:25:10,819
So how was your trip?
591
00:25:10,854 --> 00:25:12,303
I think it's my turn.
592
00:25:12,338 --> 00:25:14,340
Hell was lit as fuck, bro.
593
00:25:14,374 --> 00:25:15,686
Yeah!
594
00:25:15,721 --> 00:25:16,998
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
595
00:25:17,032 --> 00:25:18,896
Hold on a fucking second.
596
00:25:18,931 --> 00:25:21,140
There's a board here
with some unholy powers,
597
00:25:21,174 --> 00:25:22,451
you're giving it to daddy.
598
00:25:22,486 --> 00:25:25,524
I've been praying to Baphomet
since I was a tween, so.
599
00:25:25,558 --> 00:25:27,284
Slow your roll, my necro, OK?
600
00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:28,699
You'll get this
board when you pry
601
00:25:28,734 --> 00:25:30,459
it from my cold, dead fingers.
- Oh?
602
00:25:30,494 --> 00:25:33,014
Oh, hey, buddy, isn't that
your favorite skateboarder,
603
00:25:33,048 --> 00:25:34,325
Donny Vulture?
604
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:37,052
Yeah, weren't you, like,
part of his biggest fan club?
605
00:25:37,087 --> 00:25:39,607
Doesn't his wife have a
restraining order against you?
606
00:25:39,641 --> 00:25:42,230
Holy shit, that
is the Vult Man.
607
00:25:42,264 --> 00:25:43,576
All right, well, fuck you, guys.
608
00:25:43,611 --> 00:25:46,096
I'm out of here to
get myself a selfie.
609
00:25:46,130 --> 00:25:47,822
[groaning]
610
00:25:47,856 --> 00:25:48,995
[laughs]
611
00:25:49,030 --> 00:25:50,376
Oh!
612
00:25:50,410 --> 00:25:53,068
Stop acting like a turtle
and get off the ground, buddy.
613
00:25:53,103 --> 00:25:55,588
You're going to make
our skate team look bad.
614
00:25:55,623 --> 00:25:56,382
I can't.
615
00:25:56,416 --> 00:25:57,556
My equilibrium's off!
616
00:25:57,590 --> 00:25:58,453
You know I get dizzy.
617
00:25:58,487 --> 00:26:00,282
Now get me a fucking ice pack!
618
00:26:00,317 --> 00:26:02,388
It's my bad knee, woman!
619
00:26:02,422 --> 00:26:04,045
Whoa.
620
00:26:04,079 --> 00:26:06,116
Are you OK there, son?
621
00:26:06,150 --> 00:26:10,292
What'd you do, pull
a gonad or something?
622
00:26:10,327 --> 00:26:13,675
While you're here, have
you seen this board around?
623
00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:16,333
[winces] All right, all right.
624
00:26:16,367 --> 00:26:17,127
Here, take my hand.
625
00:26:17,161 --> 00:26:17,955
I'll help you up.
626
00:26:17,990 --> 00:26:19,681
[groans] Fuck you.
627
00:26:19,716 --> 00:26:23,374
[farts] Oh, I guess those
spicy tamales were a bad idea.
628
00:26:23,409 --> 00:26:25,204
Sorry.
629
00:26:25,238 --> 00:26:26,515
Come on, motherfuckers.
630
00:26:26,550 --> 00:26:28,483
I heard the
skatepark's this way.
631
00:26:28,517 --> 00:26:29,691
Screw you, dickhead.
632
00:26:29,726 --> 00:26:31,348
I'm the leader and
I'll say what I want.
633
00:26:31,382 --> 00:26:32,832
You're not even my fucking dad.
634
00:26:32,867 --> 00:26:33,799
Great.
635
00:26:33,833 --> 00:26:35,076
Getting told off
by a 12-year-old,
636
00:26:35,110 --> 00:26:36,525
what is my life coming to?
637
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,079
Boys will be boys, Albert.
638
00:26:38,113 --> 00:26:39,390
You know what they say.
639
00:26:39,425 --> 00:26:41,254
Social media is rotting
young kids' minds.
640
00:26:41,289 --> 00:26:44,810
[chuckles] Back in my day, we
didn't even have cell phones.
641
00:26:44,844 --> 00:26:45,638
Yeah.
642
00:26:45,673 --> 00:26:46,501
How old are you?
643
00:26:46,535 --> 00:26:47,260
100?
644
00:26:47,295 --> 00:26:48,952
Hey, that's enough, man.
645
00:26:48,986 --> 00:26:51,437
Come on, respect your elders.
646
00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:52,472
Yeah.
647
00:26:52,507 --> 00:26:53,991
Don't you have some
mysteries to solve
648
00:26:54,026 --> 00:26:55,890
with your Great Dane, Groovy?
649
00:26:55,924 --> 00:26:58,409
I can feel my
life force draining.
650
00:26:58,444 --> 00:27:00,342
Why are you doing this?
651
00:27:00,377 --> 00:27:03,725
[screaming] [groans]
652
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,106
[laughs]
653
00:27:05,140 --> 00:27:07,764
Why are you doing this to me?
654
00:27:07,798 --> 00:27:11,457
Because this here
is mutant country.
655
00:27:11,491 --> 00:27:13,321
Ain't no room for normies in it.
656
00:27:13,355 --> 00:27:14,391
You're not even ugly.
657
00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:15,495
Yeah.
658
00:27:15,530 --> 00:27:18,498
Look at your eyebrows,
they're gorgeous.
659
00:27:18,533 --> 00:27:19,568
They're gorgeous.
660
00:27:19,603 --> 00:27:23,814
If I don't kill you
tonight, my brothers
661
00:27:23,849 --> 00:27:25,402
ain't gonna eat supper.
662
00:27:25,436 --> 00:27:27,231
I don't taste good.
663
00:27:27,266 --> 00:27:28,923
I don't taste good!
664
00:27:28,957 --> 00:27:32,029
I can't wait to rip
his skin and eat it!
665
00:27:32,064 --> 00:27:33,272
[laughs]
666
00:27:33,306 --> 00:27:35,101
I can't wait to
get to his footsies.
667
00:27:35,136 --> 00:27:36,931
[sobbing]
668
00:27:36,965 --> 00:27:39,140
You dipshits better
not touch his nutsack.
669
00:27:39,174 --> 00:27:40,589
[screams]
670
00:27:40,624 --> 00:27:43,869
I need it on my leathery tits.
671
00:27:43,903 --> 00:27:45,456
They're getting dry in the sun.
672
00:27:45,491 --> 00:27:47,320
[laughs]
673
00:27:48,114 --> 00:27:51,014
[toy gun firing]
674
00:27:52,118 --> 00:27:54,500
You folks see this
big, ugly, hairy bastard
675
00:27:54,534 --> 00:27:55,604
around these parts?
676
00:27:55,639 --> 00:27:58,642
I've been tracking him
for years, no luck.
677
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:02,059
This guy isn't
part of the script.
678
00:28:02,094 --> 00:28:05,166
Jim, are you asleep?
679
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:06,995
Huh?
680
00:28:07,030 --> 00:28:09,239
Oh, I'll allow it.
681
00:28:09,273 --> 00:28:11,034
I love improv.
682
00:28:11,068 --> 00:28:12,414
Well, I don't.
683
00:28:12,449 --> 00:28:14,762
Let's get this guy out of here.
684
00:28:14,796 --> 00:28:17,868
Junior, are you ready for your
daily lesson for your reading
685
00:28:17,903 --> 00:28:19,111
assignment last night?
686
00:28:19,145 --> 00:28:20,491
I don't read books.
687
00:28:20,526 --> 00:28:23,046
I fucking burn them.
688
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,219
Come on, guys.
689
00:28:24,254 --> 00:28:26,256
You said it was my turn
to try the skateboard.
690
00:28:26,290 --> 00:28:27,188
Stop it.
691
00:28:27,222 --> 00:28:28,051
It's really evil.
692
00:28:28,085 --> 00:28:29,328
We don't even know how it works.
693
00:28:29,362 --> 00:28:30,432
[indie rock music]
694
00:28:30,467 --> 00:28:32,607
Hey, trust me, you
don't want none of that.
695
00:28:32,641 --> 00:28:37,508
[SINGING] Don't
bring me dow, ow, own
696
00:28:37,543 --> 00:28:39,407
Bring the casket
697
00:28:39,441 --> 00:28:42,410
It's like it's
reading my fucking mind.
698
00:28:42,444 --> 00:28:44,515
Where are these motherfuckers?
699
00:28:44,550 --> 00:28:45,516
Hello!
700
00:28:45,551 --> 00:28:47,691
Is anyone working today?
701
00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:52,144
I mean, I'll gladly steal some
wax and some grip tape, if not.
702
00:28:52,178 --> 00:28:53,524
Hey, kids,
welcome to the shop.
703
00:28:53,559 --> 00:28:55,078
What brings you in today?
704
00:28:55,112 --> 00:28:56,527
I'm looking for Kane.
705
00:28:56,562 --> 00:28:57,908
Is he here?
706
00:28:57,943 --> 00:28:59,427
Where is he?
707
00:28:59,461 --> 00:29:03,120
We wanted to ask him about
this cursed skateboard.
708
00:29:03,155 --> 00:29:04,915
Cursed skateboard?
709
00:29:04,950 --> 00:29:09,092
What did that used to
belong to, a crocodile?
710
00:29:09,126 --> 00:29:09,989
Sorry, kids.
711
00:29:10,024 --> 00:29:11,646
Kane's on a film shoot today.
712
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,822
Some mutant horror movie
called
Leather Teats.
713
00:29:14,856 --> 00:29:15,615
Leather Tits.
714
00:29:15,650 --> 00:29:16,409
Teats.
715
00:29:16,444 --> 00:29:17,825
Leather Tits.
716
00:29:17,859 --> 00:29:19,758
Oh, these horror movie titles
are getting worse and worse.
717
00:29:19,792 --> 00:29:21,380
[shop bell rings]
718
00:29:21,414 --> 00:29:23,796
Oh, Mama Kat, we're
back for some new boards.
719
00:29:23,831 --> 00:29:25,004
Awesome.
Let's get you fixed up.
720
00:29:25,039 --> 00:29:26,385
What did you have in mind?
721
00:29:26,419 --> 00:29:28,836
My basic setup of a hot pink
board with some loose trucks.
722
00:29:28,870 --> 00:29:30,596
Just be careful
on those big hills.
723
00:29:30,630 --> 00:29:31,770
How about your friend there?
724
00:29:31,804 --> 00:29:33,875
I want a skateboard
with some sick graphics.
725
00:29:33,910 --> 00:29:36,360
I'm thinking maybe a
unicorn surfing a rainbow
726
00:29:36,395 --> 00:29:38,535
with a pentagram on his ass.
727
00:29:38,569 --> 00:29:39,432
Sounds cool.
728
00:29:39,467 --> 00:29:40,779
Take a look around, if you want.
729
00:29:40,813 --> 00:29:42,919
[SINGING] You took
advantage of my heart
730
00:29:42,953 --> 00:29:45,093
Don't believe us?
731
00:29:45,128 --> 00:29:47,440
Watch this.
732
00:29:47,475 --> 00:29:50,064
I can prove this
board has powers.
733
00:29:50,098 --> 00:29:51,306
Great, here we go again.
734
00:29:51,341 --> 00:29:54,137
[tense music]
735
00:29:55,586 --> 00:29:56,967
[energy whooshing]
736
00:29:57,002 --> 00:29:58,106
Oh!
Oh!
737
00:29:58,141 --> 00:29:58,935
Oh!
738
00:29:58,969 --> 00:30:00,143
That was bitchin'.
739
00:30:00,177 --> 00:30:03,215
That was bitchin'.
740
00:30:03,249 --> 00:30:05,838
Uh, it sucks about
your floors, though.
741
00:30:05,873 --> 00:30:07,426
Buck, did you set this up?
742
00:30:07,460 --> 00:30:08,358
Well, great.
743
00:30:08,392 --> 00:30:09,290
She's gone.
744
00:30:09,324 --> 00:30:10,256
I told you.
745
00:30:10,291 --> 00:30:11,085
Where'd she go?
746
00:30:11,119 --> 00:30:14,916
To her own personal hell!
747
00:30:14,951 --> 00:30:16,780
Oh, no.
748
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:20,059
That girl is my only potential
customer in over two weeks.
749
00:30:20,094 --> 00:30:23,683
[sobbing] Nobody
buys my dresses!
750
00:30:23,718 --> 00:30:27,653
DISEMBODIED VOICE:
[laughs] Oh, I'm sorry.
751
00:30:27,687 --> 00:30:28,896
I didn't mean to kill her.
752
00:30:28,930 --> 00:30:30,587
DISEMBODIED VOICE:
I went to church.
753
00:30:30,621 --> 00:30:31,899
I was a good fucking person.
754
00:30:31,933 --> 00:30:33,417
DISEMBODIED VOICE: Still here.
Please.
755
00:30:33,452 --> 00:30:34,453
[sobs]
756
00:30:34,487 --> 00:30:35,834
[laughs]
DISEMBODIED VOICE: I have money.
757
00:30:35,868 --> 00:30:37,076
Please, take the money.
- Bad ass!
758
00:30:37,111 --> 00:30:39,216
[tapping]
759
00:30:40,597 --> 00:30:42,979
Where the hell am I?
760
00:30:43,013 --> 00:30:44,704
What the hell am I wearing?
761
00:30:44,739 --> 00:30:46,845
Wow, how dumb are you, Ruby?
762
00:30:46,879 --> 00:30:48,674
You only work at the
best toy store in town,
763
00:30:48,708 --> 00:30:49,744
and you're asleep?
764
00:30:49,778 --> 00:30:51,711
What seems to be the
problem here, ma'am.
765
00:30:51,746 --> 00:30:54,059
This dumb little bitch,
Ruby, is asleep at the counter.
766
00:30:54,093 --> 00:30:56,061
And I want her fired now.
767
00:30:56,095 --> 00:30:58,822
I didn't even remember
I had work today.
768
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:03,068
I feel like I quit
this job years ago.
769
00:31:03,102 --> 00:31:04,448
That's a good one.
770
00:31:04,483 --> 00:31:07,589
Nobody quits this job.
771
00:31:16,012 --> 00:31:18,946
[rhythmic tapping]
772
00:31:21,431 --> 00:31:23,916
[whooshing, splattering]
773
00:31:46,387 --> 00:31:52,220
My dear Ruby, what are
we gonna do with you?
774
00:31:52,255 --> 00:31:54,360
[cackles]
775
00:31:54,395 --> 00:31:55,568
Sorry, sir.
776
00:31:55,603 --> 00:31:58,778
My head is somewhere else.
777
00:31:58,813 --> 00:32:00,263
Mine too.
778
00:32:00,297 --> 00:32:02,058
But you know what?
779
00:32:02,092 --> 00:32:03,197
[hand thuds]
780
00:32:03,231 --> 00:32:05,716
Just for that, you're
gonna work all night.
781
00:32:05,751 --> 00:32:09,341
No [lips smacking] lunch break!
782
00:32:09,375 --> 00:32:10,790
Come with me.
783
00:32:10,825 --> 00:32:13,000
I'm gonna take you
to my back office
784
00:32:13,034 --> 00:32:17,970
to teach you about customer
and employee hospitality.
785
00:32:18,005 --> 00:32:19,696
Ha!
786
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:21,077
Oh, yeah, you would.
787
00:32:21,111 --> 00:32:26,737
[laughs] Ruby, come
get comfortable.
788
00:32:26,772 --> 00:32:28,429
Take a load off--
789
00:32:28,463 --> 00:32:30,465
because I know I will.
790
00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:31,708
No, thanks.
791
00:32:31,742 --> 00:32:33,641
I think I'd rather stand.
792
00:32:33,675 --> 00:32:34,780
No?
793
00:32:34,814 --> 00:32:35,988
Suit yourself.
794
00:32:36,023 --> 00:32:40,096
All the female employees,
they ooze my sexuality.
795
00:32:40,130 --> 00:32:41,338
Fat chance.
796
00:32:41,373 --> 00:32:42,546
You're not my type.
797
00:32:42,581 --> 00:32:43,962
How about you check this out?
798
00:32:49,070 --> 00:32:51,900
Mini Godzilla.
799
00:32:51,935 --> 00:32:55,352
Oh, my, that changes things.
800
00:32:55,387 --> 00:32:56,146
Oh, yeah.
801
00:32:56,181 --> 00:32:56,940
OK.
802
00:32:56,975 --> 00:32:57,734
Yeah?
803
00:32:57,768 --> 00:32:58,666
Close your eyes.
804
00:32:58,700 --> 00:32:59,494
OK.
805
00:33:04,223 --> 00:33:06,639
[screaming]
806
00:33:06,674 --> 00:33:09,159
[knife slicing]
807
00:33:11,644 --> 00:33:19,066
[groans] Why?
808
00:33:19,100 --> 00:33:22,448
Is it because I made you
work the night shift?
809
00:33:22,483 --> 00:33:23,553
No.
810
00:33:23,587 --> 00:33:25,831
I've wanted to do
this for a long time.
811
00:33:25,865 --> 00:33:29,076
I wish this were real life, but
I guess hell will have to do.
812
00:33:32,458 --> 00:33:34,391
See you never.
813
00:33:34,426 --> 00:33:38,154
Nobody's choking on
cock but me around here!
814
00:33:38,188 --> 00:33:40,604
[gagging, coughing]
815
00:33:40,639 --> 00:33:43,780
Give me that dick!
816
00:33:46,783 --> 00:33:49,234
[sniffs]
817
00:33:49,268 --> 00:33:52,133
[heavy metal music]
818
00:33:52,168 --> 00:33:57,897
[munching]
819
00:33:57,932 --> 00:34:01,246
Chase, what are
you even eating?
820
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,110
Sustenance.
821
00:34:03,144 --> 00:34:04,421
[gags]
822
00:34:04,456 --> 00:34:05,802
[munching]
823
00:34:05,836 --> 00:34:07,907
Where did you find those?
824
00:34:07,942 --> 00:34:10,738
Don't worry about that.
825
00:34:10,772 --> 00:34:14,224
Well, are you gonna to share?
826
00:34:14,259 --> 00:34:15,329
Good.
827
00:34:15,363 --> 00:34:17,055
So, guys, how long
does it take to get
828
00:34:17,089 --> 00:34:19,091
back from the underworld?
829
00:34:19,126 --> 00:34:21,507
I mean, nobody really knows.
830
00:34:21,542 --> 00:34:22,750
It could be minutes.
831
00:34:22,784 --> 00:34:24,234
It could be hours.
832
00:34:24,269 --> 00:34:27,168
I think it depends on how much
emotional baggage you have.
833
00:34:27,203 --> 00:34:29,032
Which varies a bit, really.
834
00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:32,104
I have so much emotional
baggage, I could sink a ship.
835
00:34:32,139 --> 00:34:34,520
Yeah, well, I'm
living in my own hell,
836
00:34:34,555 --> 00:34:36,833
having a look at your
pretty face every day.
837
00:34:36,867 --> 00:34:39,111
Hey, guys.
838
00:34:39,146 --> 00:34:41,493
Do you think she might buy
a dress when she returns?
839
00:34:41,527 --> 00:34:42,804
[energy whooshing]
840
00:34:42,839 --> 00:34:45,324
CHASE: Oh, shit.
841
00:34:45,359 --> 00:34:47,085
Well, there she
is in the flesh.
842
00:34:50,191 --> 00:34:51,675
Ruby, you look a
little different.
843
00:34:51,710 --> 00:34:53,436
What did you do while
you were down there?
844
00:34:53,470 --> 00:34:54,506
Kill somebody?
845
00:34:54,540 --> 00:34:56,128
Something like that.
846
00:34:56,163 --> 00:34:57,888
Yo, that blade is sick, son.
847
00:34:57,923 --> 00:34:58,682
Let me borrow that.
848
00:34:58,717 --> 00:34:59,718
You wouldn't want it.
849
00:34:59,752 --> 00:35:00,960
It's covered in pervert blood.
850
00:35:00,995 --> 00:35:03,825
[gags] I think
I'm gonna be sick.
851
00:35:03,860 --> 00:35:05,827
I can't stand the
sight of blood.
852
00:35:05,862 --> 00:35:08,313
Why do you think I wear
elbows and deep pad--
853
00:35:08,347 --> 00:35:09,797
[gags]
854
00:35:09,831 --> 00:35:11,971
So, wait, what
was it like for you?
855
00:35:12,006 --> 00:35:15,043
Well, I was working
retail, so there's that.
856
00:35:15,078 --> 00:35:16,321
That's bogus.
857
00:35:16,355 --> 00:35:18,116
Yeah.
858
00:35:18,150 --> 00:35:19,255
Yoink.
859
00:35:19,289 --> 00:35:20,497
Well, it's my turn this time.
- No, no, no.
860
00:35:20,532 --> 00:35:22,465
Wait, wait, wait, wait, man.
- Wait!
861
00:35:22,499 --> 00:35:23,293
You want a dress?
862
00:35:23,328 --> 00:35:24,743
Have a nice trip.
863
00:35:24,777 --> 00:35:26,572
[energy whooshing]
864
00:35:26,607 --> 00:35:28,850
DISEMBODIED VOICE:
[sobs] Come on.
865
00:35:28,885 --> 00:35:30,404
DISEMBODIED VOICE:
Hands off my nuts!
866
00:35:30,438 --> 00:35:31,646
[groans]
867
00:35:31,681 --> 00:35:33,131
This place is bullshit.
868
00:35:33,165 --> 00:35:34,891
DISEMBODIED VOICE:
Stop smashing my balls!
869
00:35:34,925 --> 00:35:36,789
It looks like a cheap
Halloween walk-through
870
00:35:36,824 --> 00:35:38,722
some haunt filter dreamt up.
871
00:35:38,757 --> 00:35:43,210
I gotta tell Kane and
Buck about this junk.
872
00:35:43,244 --> 00:35:46,627
[soft dramatic music]
873
00:35:54,462 --> 00:35:56,430
[coughs]
874
00:35:56,464 --> 00:35:59,916
Ah, you look beautiful.
875
00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:02,229
Let me wax your eyebrows.
876
00:36:02,263 --> 00:36:03,022
No, thank you.
877
00:36:03,057 --> 00:36:04,334
[laughs]
878
00:36:04,369 --> 00:36:06,371
What about your
Norwegian areas?
879
00:36:06,405 --> 00:36:07,510
[laughs]
880
00:36:07,544 --> 00:36:08,683
No, thank you.
881
00:36:08,718 --> 00:36:10,547
But your work is marvelous.
882
00:36:10,582 --> 00:36:12,377
Would you mind freeing my arms?
883
00:36:12,411 --> 00:36:14,137
So you can leave?
884
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:16,277
I just thought if
you untied my arms,
885
00:36:16,312 --> 00:36:17,485
you could do my nails better.
886
00:36:23,215 --> 00:36:25,148
Ow!
887
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:27,115
[gasping]
888
00:36:27,150 --> 00:36:28,565
[laughs]
889
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,533
Ow!
890
00:36:30,567 --> 00:36:32,051
What the fuck?
891
00:36:32,086 --> 00:36:34,019
These are my real nails.
892
00:36:34,053 --> 00:36:34,985
They're not glue-ons.
893
00:36:38,092 --> 00:36:41,268
Let me go get some bleach
so I can make 'em burn!
894
00:36:41,302 --> 00:36:44,409
[winces] Fuck.
895
00:36:44,443 --> 00:36:45,996
Shit.
896
00:36:46,031 --> 00:36:47,308
Whew!
897
00:36:47,343 --> 00:36:48,482
What the hell.
898
00:36:54,867 --> 00:36:56,800
[laughs]
899
00:36:56,835 --> 00:36:58,285
[liquid splatters]
900
00:36:58,319 --> 00:37:04,222
[screaming]
901
00:37:04,256 --> 00:37:05,361
Peace out, bitch.
902
00:37:05,395 --> 00:37:08,260
I'm giving your salon a
one-star rating, fucker!
903
00:37:08,295 --> 00:37:10,676
[energy whooshing]
904
00:37:11,643 --> 00:37:14,473
[heavy metal music]
905
00:37:15,957 --> 00:37:17,683
Mommy is home.
906
00:37:17,718 --> 00:37:22,826
[laughs] Jeez, Kat, your hair.
907
00:37:22,861 --> 00:37:24,000
What about it?
908
00:37:24,034 --> 00:37:26,347
It looks-- it looks nice.
909
00:37:29,005 --> 00:37:30,109
I should find a mirror.
910
00:37:33,492 --> 00:37:37,289
[screams]
911
00:37:37,324 --> 00:37:39,602
I mean, it's only
barely unsaveable.
912
00:37:42,398 --> 00:37:44,123
I need to call my husband.
913
00:37:44,158 --> 00:37:45,987
He's well versed
in the dark arts.
914
00:37:46,022 --> 00:37:47,541
Yes, Kane's the
man with the plan.
915
00:37:47,575 --> 00:37:49,439
That's who we've been
trying to get a hold of.
916
00:37:49,474 --> 00:37:50,854
I mean, Kane's a good dude.
917
00:37:50,889 --> 00:37:54,513
He is the first person to teach
me how to shred the gnar, brah.
918
00:37:54,548 --> 00:37:55,825
[SARCASTICALLY] Kane.
919
00:37:55,859 --> 00:37:58,621
Oh, Kane, he's so cool.
920
00:37:58,655 --> 00:37:59,898
Fucking Kane.
921
00:37:59,932 --> 00:38:02,625
Fucking Kane!
922
00:38:02,659 --> 00:38:06,974
Hey, bro, who taught you
to stand on a skateboard?
923
00:38:07,008 --> 00:38:09,459
You're pushing mongo,
for fuck's sake.
924
00:38:09,494 --> 00:38:11,392
Hey, you mutant amateurs!
925
00:38:11,427 --> 00:38:14,257
You choke somebody that long,
you're gonna fucking kill 'em!
926
00:38:14,292 --> 00:38:16,742
At least wait for the
director to yell action!
927
00:38:16,777 --> 00:38:18,399
JASON: That boy is turning blue.
928
00:38:18,434 --> 00:38:21,782
Just like when I perform
autoerotic asphyxiation.
929
00:38:21,816 --> 00:38:23,611
Jason, how many times
I got to tell you?
930
00:38:23,646 --> 00:38:25,475
No one wants to hear that crap.
931
00:38:25,510 --> 00:38:27,995
Listen, I can't even nibble
on my wife's ear lobes.
932
00:38:28,029 --> 00:38:29,548
Yours lets you
choke your chicken
933
00:38:29,583 --> 00:38:31,067
and put a belt around your neck?
934
00:38:31,101 --> 00:38:32,240
Come on!
935
00:38:32,275 --> 00:38:33,656
Someone sounds jealous.
936
00:38:33,690 --> 00:38:35,002
What about butt play?
937
00:38:35,036 --> 00:38:36,831
You know, when your
wife introduces toys
938
00:38:36,866 --> 00:38:38,350
into the bedroom,
you got it made.
939
00:38:38,385 --> 00:38:40,076
[overlapping chatter]
940
00:38:40,110 --> 00:38:43,838
Uh, Jim, Max is
not looking so hot.
941
00:38:43,873 --> 00:38:45,806
I'm sure he's fine.
942
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,290
Walk it off, kid.
943
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,809
Rub some dirt on it.
944
00:38:48,843 --> 00:38:51,467
If we got time, I know
where we can hide the bodies.
945
00:38:51,501 --> 00:38:54,332
It's a big desert out there.
946
00:38:54,366 --> 00:38:57,645
I was a volunteer lifeguard
at the local swim hole as a boy.
947
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,890
I can help.
948
00:39:00,924 --> 00:39:02,685
[grunts] I'm up.
949
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:03,513
I'm up.
950
00:39:03,548 --> 00:39:04,997
I'm-- I'm up.
951
00:39:05,032 --> 00:39:07,379
Is anyone else here
getting charged up?
952
00:39:07,414 --> 00:39:10,244
Shit, must be a weak
signal on that film set.
953
00:39:10,278 --> 00:39:11,176
Just keep trying him.
954
00:39:11,210 --> 00:39:12,453
Maybe his battery's dead.
955
00:39:12,488 --> 00:39:14,006
[KEVIN KRIMSON, "LAST ETERNAL
BLISS"]
956
00:39:14,041 --> 00:39:15,939
Yeah, but did he
even bring his charger?
957
00:39:15,974 --> 00:39:17,355
Dude's so forgetful.
958
00:39:17,389 --> 00:39:20,910
[scoffs] One too many falls as
a young buck, if you ask me.
959
00:39:20,944 --> 00:39:24,292
Shut the fuck up, fuck!
960
00:39:24,327 --> 00:39:26,743
A little bit of a tongue
twister there, huh, Kat?
961
00:39:26,778 --> 00:39:30,816
[laughs]
962
00:39:30,851 --> 00:39:33,578
So, listen, why don't you go
grab me that board, all right?
963
00:39:33,612 --> 00:39:35,200
I got a great idea.
964
00:39:35,234 --> 00:39:36,201
You have two legs.
965
00:39:36,235 --> 00:39:36,995
Why don't you?
966
00:39:37,029 --> 00:39:37,789
Just do it.
967
00:39:37,823 --> 00:39:39,998
Just do it!
968
00:39:40,032 --> 00:39:42,310
Just.
969
00:39:42,345 --> 00:39:44,727
OK, Shia Almost-buff.
970
00:39:44,761 --> 00:39:45,762
Whatever.
971
00:39:45,797 --> 00:39:47,039
Let me hold the
dagger real quick, too.
972
00:39:47,074 --> 00:39:47,902
No way.
973
00:39:47,937 --> 00:39:49,076
You're gonna hurt someone.
974
00:39:49,110 --> 00:39:52,113
Just you if you don't
give me that shit.
975
00:39:52,148 --> 00:39:53,908
I thank you.
976
00:39:53,943 --> 00:39:56,497
Excalibur, I have the power!
977
00:39:56,532 --> 00:39:57,843
Oh, boy.
978
00:39:57,878 --> 00:40:00,812
Just don't slice your
pecker off-- or do.
979
00:40:00,846 --> 00:40:02,020
You wish.
Follow me.
980
00:40:02,054 --> 00:40:03,987
[SINGING] They want us to
scare ourselves to death
981
00:40:04,022 --> 00:40:07,957
Give us one last kiss
982
00:40:07,991 --> 00:40:09,441
One last eternal bliss
983
00:40:09,476 --> 00:40:11,547
They want us to scare
ourselves to death
984
00:40:11,581 --> 00:40:12,340
Chase!
985
00:40:12,375 --> 00:40:13,307
Ruby!
986
00:40:13,341 --> 00:40:14,170
Fuck!
987
00:40:14,204 --> 00:40:18,450
[SINGING] Give us one last kiss
988
00:40:18,485 --> 00:40:20,797
One last eternal bliss
989
00:40:20,832 --> 00:40:21,936
Ding, ding, ding.
990
00:40:21,971 --> 00:40:23,041
Hello?
991
00:40:23,075 --> 00:40:24,836
What brings you two
into the shop today?
992
00:40:24,870 --> 00:40:26,078
Need some new nuts?
993
00:40:26,113 --> 00:40:26,872
Nuts?
994
00:40:26,907 --> 00:40:28,702
I don't get it.
995
00:40:28,736 --> 00:40:30,876
To attach wheels
to your trucks.
996
00:40:30,911 --> 00:40:33,741
Dummy, you don't know
anything about skating.
997
00:40:33,776 --> 00:40:36,261
I bet you still mall
grab your board.
998
00:40:36,295 --> 00:40:39,437
What the fuck does that mean?
999
00:40:39,471 --> 00:40:42,578
Mall grabbing is when you
hold your board by the trucks.
1000
00:40:42,612 --> 00:40:44,787
Everybody knows that.
1001
00:40:44,821 --> 00:40:46,029
Whatever.
1002
00:40:46,064 --> 00:40:49,101
Look at your fucking hair, lady.
1003
00:40:49,136 --> 00:40:50,378
I guess she didn't get it.
1004
00:40:50,413 --> 00:40:51,863
You know, punk's dead.
Huh?
1005
00:40:51,897 --> 00:40:52,657
- Eh.
- Eh?
1006
00:40:52,691 --> 00:40:53,485
Eh.
1007
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,833
[laughs]
1008
00:40:56,868 --> 00:40:58,317
I had a hair emergency, OK?
1009
00:40:58,352 --> 00:40:59,111
Yeah.
1010
00:40:59,146 --> 00:41:00,872
Just tell me what you want.
1011
00:41:00,906 --> 00:41:03,184
OK.
1012
00:41:03,219 --> 00:41:05,635
We're looking for
a skateboard, OK?
1013
00:41:05,670 --> 00:41:07,706
I guess you could say
it's a special skateboard.
1014
00:41:07,741 --> 00:41:09,950
I guess you could say it
really takes you somewhere.
1015
00:41:09,984 --> 00:41:12,608
Do you know where we might
be able to find one of those?
1016
00:41:12,642 --> 00:41:13,609
Not here.
1017
00:41:13,643 --> 00:41:15,921
Yep, nope, nothing
like that at all.
1018
00:41:15,956 --> 00:41:18,924
Now, if you guys are looking for
a board with uneven grip tape,
1019
00:41:18,959 --> 00:41:20,063
I'm your guy.
1020
00:41:20,098 --> 00:41:23,377
Otherwise, no sale.
1021
00:41:23,411 --> 00:41:25,310
They obviously don't
know anything, buddy.
1022
00:41:25,344 --> 00:41:26,932
Let's go.
1023
00:41:26,967 --> 00:41:29,176
[indie rock music]
1024
00:41:29,210 --> 00:41:32,213
Are Pinky and the Brain gone?
1025
00:41:32,248 --> 00:41:34,043
I fucking hate those two.
1026
00:41:34,077 --> 00:41:35,803
I need to go find
Chase and Ruby.
1027
00:41:35,838 --> 00:41:37,149
Oh, they took the fucking board!
1028
00:41:37,184 --> 00:41:38,323
[RAPPING] Punk-ass
motherfuckers want everything
1029
00:41:38,357 --> 00:41:40,152
To be radio fucking
friendly, right?
1030
00:41:40,187 --> 00:41:41,637
I don't even know
what that means,
1031
00:41:41,671 --> 00:41:44,260
but I don't think that's good.
1032
00:41:44,294 --> 00:41:46,711
Do you guys have
the equipment now?
1033
00:41:46,745 --> 00:41:49,058
I mean, last night
you come here late.
1034
00:41:49,092 --> 00:41:50,335
You guys are my assistants.
1035
00:41:50,369 --> 00:41:51,785
The only thing
you're here to do is
1036
00:41:51,819 --> 00:41:53,925
to help me plant
the cameras to get
1037
00:41:53,959 --> 00:41:56,237
the upskirt beaver shots
for the video we're
1038
00:41:56,272 --> 00:41:58,067
gonna sell to the deep web.
1039
00:41:58,101 --> 00:41:59,965
It's the only way to get
me out of the fucking
1040
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,449
jam I'm in right now.
1041
00:42:01,484 --> 00:42:04,038
Everything we have is
in this fucking movie.
1042
00:42:04,073 --> 00:42:04,936
That's it.
1043
00:42:04,970 --> 00:42:06,800
So we need more moolah.
1044
00:42:06,834 --> 00:42:07,870
Do you get it?
1045
00:42:07,904 --> 00:42:09,975
The beaver is gonna
save me, all right?
1046
00:42:10,010 --> 00:42:10,976
God save the beaver.
1047
00:42:11,011 --> 00:42:13,220
So help me plant
the fucking cameras.
1048
00:42:13,254 --> 00:42:14,842
Do you think those
beavers are hairy?
1049
00:42:14,877 --> 00:42:16,292
- I hope so, I hope.
- Hopefully.
1050
00:42:16,326 --> 00:42:17,293
That's what people want.
1051
00:42:17,327 --> 00:42:18,466
The hairier, the better.
1052
00:42:18,501 --> 00:42:19,260
The more views--
1053
00:42:19,295 --> 00:42:20,054
Yeah.
1054
00:42:20,089 --> 00:42:21,021
--the more money.
1055
00:42:21,055 --> 00:42:21,987
I love hairy--
1056
00:42:22,022 --> 00:42:23,264
Hey!
1057
00:42:23,299 --> 00:42:25,128
Filming somebody without
their consent, it's a crime.
1058
00:42:25,163 --> 00:42:26,371
We're not filming anything.
1059
00:42:26,405 --> 00:42:29,201
[stuttering] I'm testing
out a camera for dad,
1060
00:42:29,236 --> 00:42:30,686
for-- for-- for Jim, my dad Jim.
1061
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:31,479
Come on.
1062
00:42:31,514 --> 00:42:32,515
Come on.
1063
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,034
We're not filming anything.
1064
00:42:34,068 --> 00:42:35,725
We're testing out equipment.
Jesus.
1065
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,485
I didn't even get
to see no hairy beaver
1066
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,729
or any kind of beaver.
1067
00:42:39,764 --> 00:42:42,214
Boys will be boys.
1068
00:42:42,249 --> 00:42:45,701
Jim, are you gonna reward
that kind of behavior?
1069
00:42:45,735 --> 00:42:48,807
That's so immature,
even for you.
1070
00:42:48,842 --> 00:42:50,188
Jim can't help it.
1071
00:42:50,222 --> 00:42:52,397
He's a boy in a
man's body anyway.
1072
00:42:52,431 --> 00:42:56,677
Jim's no pickle boy, though
I am surprised he has a son.
1073
00:42:56,712 --> 00:42:57,471
That's it!
1074
00:42:57,505 --> 00:42:58,265
That's it!
1075
00:42:58,299 --> 00:42:59,542
I've had enough!
1076
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:03,235
Now, everybody shut the fuck
up and get back to work.
1077
00:43:03,270 --> 00:43:05,548
You fucking hear
what I'm saying?
1078
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:06,894
Get it!
1079
00:43:06,929 --> 00:43:08,275
Shut up!
1080
00:43:08,309 --> 00:43:10,864
He's ruining my
film experience.
1081
00:43:10,898 --> 00:43:12,175
Fuck.
1082
00:43:12,210 --> 00:43:18,181
Uh, this white makeup is
looking pale as a ghost on me.
1083
00:43:18,216 --> 00:43:25,568
Listen here, movie mom, no one
is going to be looking at you.
1084
00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:29,020
I am the star of this movie.
1085
00:43:29,054 --> 00:43:30,538
Like hell you are.
1086
00:43:30,573 --> 00:43:34,473
Did you ever share lines
with Harrison Bronco?
1087
00:43:34,508 --> 00:43:37,994
No, I didn't think so.
1088
00:43:38,029 --> 00:43:39,375
Oh, this is fucking great.
1089
00:43:39,409 --> 00:43:41,032
How could you leave
me behind like this?
1090
00:43:41,066 --> 00:43:42,343
This is fucking great.
1091
00:43:42,378 --> 00:43:43,621
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Fuck!
1092
00:43:43,655 --> 00:43:44,898
Ah.
1093
00:43:44,932 --> 00:43:46,175
God damn it!
1094
00:43:46,209 --> 00:43:48,039
Why!
1095
00:43:48,073 --> 00:43:50,455
I need better friends!
1096
00:43:50,489 --> 00:43:53,216
One's a fucking gas huffer,
the other one's a murderer.
1097
00:43:53,251 --> 00:43:55,494
You did this!
1098
00:43:55,529 --> 00:43:58,152
There's no way they
want to go back to hell.
1099
00:43:58,187 --> 00:43:59,740
There's no fucking way.
1100
00:43:59,775 --> 00:44:01,121
I don't know.
1101
00:44:01,155 --> 00:44:03,675
I just-- I got a weird
feeling about this.
1102
00:44:03,710 --> 00:44:05,366
Like, what if news
travels around hell
1103
00:44:05,401 --> 00:44:07,265
about what I did down there?
1104
00:44:07,299 --> 00:44:09,612
You think the devil gives
a shit about what we did?
1105
00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:11,165
I'm serious.
1106
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:12,650
There's got to be
some way the devil
1107
00:44:12,684 --> 00:44:15,411
keeps track of his disciples.
1108
00:44:15,445 --> 00:44:16,930
Look, if the
devil is real, he's
1109
00:44:16,964 --> 00:44:19,001
either partying with some
hoes or he's scratching
1110
00:44:19,035 --> 00:44:20,485
his big, fat red ass.
1111
00:44:20,519 --> 00:44:23,833
I don't think he's
thinking about us.
1112
00:44:23,868 --> 00:44:26,284
Why'd you want
the dagger anyway?
1113
00:44:26,318 --> 00:44:29,080
I want to use it to
kill my step-daddy.
1114
00:44:29,114 --> 00:44:31,530
Well, I hope it works.
1115
00:44:31,565 --> 00:44:33,394
But prepare for
thousands of years worth
1116
00:44:33,429 --> 00:44:36,328
of hard labor if it doesn't.
1117
00:44:36,363 --> 00:44:39,021
Could it be any
worse than this place?
1118
00:44:39,055 --> 00:44:41,402
Look, if I get stuck down
there, you'd come for me, right?
1119
00:44:41,437 --> 00:44:42,403
You know I would.
1120
00:44:42,438 --> 00:44:43,715
That's all I need to know.
1121
00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:50,135
Someone needs to tell these
demons I like to get busy.
1122
00:44:52,759 --> 00:44:54,519
Good luck, Caleb.
1123
00:44:54,553 --> 00:44:56,314
[THUNDERING ASTEROIDS, "SWALLOW
YOUR SOUL"]
1124
00:44:56,348 --> 00:44:57,971
Hey, Kurt, baby, is that you?
1125
00:44:58,005 --> 00:44:59,041
What's the magic word?
1126
00:44:59,075 --> 00:45:00,042
ZACH: Police.
1127
00:45:00,076 --> 00:45:01,388
[SINGING] When I
escape from the cell
1128
00:45:01,422 --> 00:45:02,734
Good evening, miss.
1129
00:45:02,769 --> 00:45:07,256
The name's Falk, Zachary C.
Falk, homicide detective.
1130
00:45:07,290 --> 00:45:10,742
I'm in the area investigating an
incident that happened recently.
1131
00:45:10,777 --> 00:45:12,433
You mind if I ask
you a few questions?
1132
00:45:12,468 --> 00:45:13,607
Yeah, sure.
Go ahead.
1133
00:45:13,641 --> 00:45:16,575
Do you recall your
whereabouts two nights ago?
1134
00:45:16,610 --> 00:45:17,991
I was here in this shop.
1135
00:45:18,025 --> 00:45:19,130
I'm here every night.
1136
00:45:19,164 --> 00:45:21,304
It's so boring.
1137
00:45:21,339 --> 00:45:25,723
Do you recall seeing anything
unusual or hearing anything?
1138
00:45:25,757 --> 00:45:26,758
Nope.
1139
00:45:26,793 --> 00:45:27,828
Same old, same old.
1140
00:45:27,863 --> 00:45:30,935
Oh, well, that's a good thing.
1141
00:45:30,969 --> 00:45:33,109
I'd like to show you a picture.
1142
00:45:33,144 --> 00:45:35,111
Does this board look
familiar to you?
1143
00:45:35,146 --> 00:45:37,010
[SINGING] Rock and roll
will swallow your soul
1144
00:45:37,044 --> 00:45:38,459
OK, actually it does.
1145
00:45:38,494 --> 00:45:39,978
Oh?
1146
00:45:40,013 --> 00:45:41,152
Really?
1147
00:45:41,186 --> 00:45:42,843
How so?
1148
00:45:42,878 --> 00:45:45,052
I feel it's relevant
to this case somehow,
1149
00:45:45,087 --> 00:45:47,814
but I haven't really
gotten any solid leads yet.
1150
00:45:47,848 --> 00:45:49,436
Well, it looks like
one of the boards
1151
00:45:49,470 --> 00:45:51,403
my customers brought
in a few weeks ago.
1152
00:45:51,438 --> 00:45:53,302
His name is Kurt,
really nice kid.
1153
00:45:53,336 --> 00:45:55,787
[SINGING] Swallow your soul.
1154
00:45:55,822 --> 00:45:59,377
Can you think of any
unique identifying features
1155
00:45:59,411 --> 00:46:01,793
that would help find it?
1156
00:46:01,828 --> 00:46:05,555
Kurt likes to sticker bomb
the bottom of his board,
1157
00:46:05,590 --> 00:46:06,936
like a sticker collage.
1158
00:46:09,456 --> 00:46:10,595
I get it.
1159
00:46:10,629 --> 00:46:14,116
I look like I'm old, but
I'm not really that old.
1160
00:46:14,150 --> 00:46:16,843
This job just ages you.
1161
00:46:16,877 --> 00:46:20,018
And I do know what
a sticker bomb is.
1162
00:46:20,053 --> 00:46:21,986
Can you think of anything else?
1163
00:46:22,020 --> 00:46:24,505
Kurt also likes to put
the wheels on his board
1164
00:46:24,540 --> 00:46:27,232
backwards to hide the logos.
1165
00:46:27,267 --> 00:46:32,513
That's really observant of
you, almost like a super sleuth.
1166
00:46:32,548 --> 00:46:34,170
So, do you have any
idea where I might
1167
00:46:34,205 --> 00:46:36,966
be able to find this Kurt kid?
1168
00:46:37,001 --> 00:46:40,004
I know that Kurt and his
friends don't have a home,
1169
00:46:40,038 --> 00:46:43,697
but they do like to hang
out at the skate park.
1170
00:46:43,731 --> 00:46:45,699
They like to hang out
at the skate park a lot.
1171
00:46:45,733 --> 00:46:46,976
OK.
1172
00:46:47,011 --> 00:46:49,254
I spent quite a bit of
time there recently,
1173
00:46:49,289 --> 00:46:52,395
but maybe I just missed them.
1174
00:46:52,430 --> 00:46:54,604
So if you can think
of anything else that
1175
00:46:54,639 --> 00:46:57,435
might be helpful or want to
talk about being a detective,
1176
00:46:57,469 --> 00:46:58,367
here's my card.
1177
00:46:58,401 --> 00:46:59,782
Thank you so much, Officer.
1178
00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:00,576
And, uh--
1179
00:47:00,610 --> 00:47:01,853
Nice meeting you.
1180
00:47:01,888 --> 00:47:05,788
And if you just want to
talk or play with my pistol,
1181
00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:07,721
just give me a call sometime.
1182
00:47:07,755 --> 00:47:10,862
Oh, I can't wait
to hold your pistol.
1183
00:47:10,897 --> 00:47:12,760
Well, you have a
great night, beautiful.
1184
00:47:12,795 --> 00:47:13,761
Thank you so much.
1185
00:47:13,796 --> 00:47:14,797
Pleasure.
1186
00:47:14,832 --> 00:47:16,178
Looking forward to
holding your pistol.
1187
00:47:16,212 --> 00:47:17,006
Me too.
1188
00:47:19,975 --> 00:47:24,807
[sniffing]
1189
00:47:24,842 --> 00:47:25,877
Oh, step daddy.
1190
00:47:25,912 --> 00:47:28,052
[crows cawing]
1191
00:47:29,467 --> 00:47:34,368
Step daddy, it's time to die!
1192
00:47:34,403 --> 00:47:38,510
Where you at, you inbred fuck?
1193
00:47:38,545 --> 00:47:41,755
Junior, are you ready
for your math lesson?
1194
00:47:41,789 --> 00:47:44,240
I already told you, I
don't give a fuck about math.
1195
00:47:44,275 --> 00:47:47,036
Teach me about the
bombing of Dresden.
1196
00:47:47,071 --> 00:47:47,830
Fuck you.
1197
00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:49,901
[heavy metal music]
1198
00:47:49,936 --> 00:47:51,523
What the fuck, Junior?
1199
00:47:51,558 --> 00:47:54,802
[SINGING] I told you before
and I'll tell you again
1200
00:47:54,837 --> 00:47:56,114
Fuck this bullshit!
1201
00:47:56,149 --> 00:47:58,082
It's not like I'm learning
anything in fucking algebra.
1202
00:47:58,116 --> 00:47:59,359
This kid is fucking hopeless.
1203
00:47:59,393 --> 00:48:00,739
It's like, I'm
fucking failing.
1204
00:48:00,774 --> 00:48:02,017
I don't give a fuck.
1205
00:48:02,051 --> 00:48:02,810
I don't fucking--
1206
00:48:02,845 --> 00:48:04,295
[pages ripping]
1207
00:48:04,329 --> 00:48:07,850
Fuck this shitty fucking book!
1208
00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:10,680
Hey, uh, does anyone
want to play a card game?
1209
00:48:10,715 --> 00:48:13,545
It's, uh, in another language.
1210
00:48:13,580 --> 00:48:17,687
But I'm pretty sure
I can teach you all.
1211
00:48:17,722 --> 00:48:18,481
Not now.
1212
00:48:18,516 --> 00:48:20,414
Thanks, dude.
1213
00:48:20,449 --> 00:48:22,175
I'd be up for a
game of strip poker.
1214
00:48:23,866 --> 00:48:29,320
Um, well, unfortunately,
it's kind of a family-oriented,
1215
00:48:29,354 --> 00:48:30,838
wholesome sort of game.
1216
00:48:30,873 --> 00:48:31,805
So it's not like that.
1217
00:48:31,839 --> 00:48:33,841
But thank you, though, Benji.
1218
00:48:33,876 --> 00:48:38,087
[SINGING] Put his
vengeance on you any day
1219
00:48:38,122 --> 00:48:39,813
Control our lives
1220
00:48:39,847 --> 00:48:40,987
Oh, it's your turn, homie.
1221
00:48:41,021 --> 00:48:41,780
Oh.
1222
00:48:41,815 --> 00:48:43,644
That is all mine.
1223
00:48:43,679 --> 00:48:48,270
Strip it, strip it, strip
it, strip it, strip it.
1224
00:48:48,304 --> 00:48:51,652
[gentle music]
1225
00:48:56,968 --> 00:48:58,176
Hello down there.
1226
00:49:01,593 --> 00:49:03,733
Can I help you?
1227
00:49:03,768 --> 00:49:06,805
When's the last time
you had a warm meal?
1228
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:10,878
Well, let's just say, I've
been on an all liquid diet
1229
00:49:10,913 --> 00:49:12,121
since I got to town.
1230
00:49:12,156 --> 00:49:14,434
[chuckles] It shows.
1231
00:49:14,468 --> 00:49:16,194
You look like hell.
1232
00:49:16,229 --> 00:49:20,026
Aw, thanks for noticing.
1233
00:49:20,060 --> 00:49:24,478
Hey, would you consider
going into the shelter with me?
1234
00:49:24,513 --> 00:49:26,687
They're very nice
to people like us--
1235
00:49:26,722 --> 00:49:29,069
free food, free board.
1236
00:49:29,104 --> 00:49:32,038
The only thing not
on the table is sex.
1237
00:49:35,558 --> 00:49:37,043
Whatever you say.
1238
00:49:37,077 --> 00:49:37,871
Well, good.
1239
00:49:37,905 --> 00:49:38,665
Come on.
1240
00:49:38,699 --> 00:49:39,873
Lead the way.
1241
00:49:39,907 --> 00:49:41,392
[groans]
1242
00:49:41,426 --> 00:49:45,016
You're gonna like it in there.
1243
00:49:45,051 --> 00:49:45,844
Come on.
1244
00:49:49,331 --> 00:49:52,541
CHASE: I know you hear me.
1245
00:49:52,575 --> 00:49:53,404
What you want to do?
1246
00:49:53,438 --> 00:49:56,648
You want to beat me again?
1247
00:49:56,683 --> 00:49:58,029
Fucking not feed me for days?
1248
00:50:02,068 --> 00:50:03,862
I'm not so little no more.
1249
00:50:06,417 --> 00:50:07,866
Abuse my mother in front of me?
1250
00:50:13,217 --> 00:50:15,495
You have any idea
what you did to me?
1251
00:50:15,529 --> 00:50:17,083
You know what my
life is like now?
1252
00:50:19,844 --> 00:50:24,124
A fucking addict, fucking
sick all the time.
1253
00:50:32,408 --> 00:50:33,202
Fuck.
1254
00:50:33,237 --> 00:50:34,410
[body thuds]
1255
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:38,656
[unsettling music]
1256
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:48,045
[board thuds]
1257
00:50:51,565 --> 00:50:55,328
Hey, good luck getting out of
here without your skateboard.
1258
00:50:55,362 --> 00:50:58,572
I think he was gonna
use this dagger on us.
1259
00:50:58,607 --> 00:50:59,815
Yeah?
1260
00:50:59,849 --> 00:51:01,989
Well, let's see
how well she cuts.
1261
00:51:02,024 --> 00:51:03,750
Yeah, have at it, boss.
1262
00:51:03,784 --> 00:51:05,372
Fuck you, man.
1263
00:51:05,407 --> 00:51:06,787
You know, I've
been living in hell
1264
00:51:06,822 --> 00:51:08,272
for years because of your ass.
1265
00:51:08,306 --> 00:51:09,618
Yeah?
1266
00:51:09,652 --> 00:51:13,311
So why the fuck would you
think this place would scare me?
1267
00:51:13,346 --> 00:51:15,486
Funny thing is, after
you OD'ed, I thought
1268
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:18,109
I'd never get a chance to tell
you how much I fucking hate you!
1269
00:51:18,144 --> 00:51:21,008
[laughs] Good night.
1270
00:51:21,043 --> 00:51:22,458
[knife slices]
1271
00:51:32,158 --> 00:51:34,643
Edith, what did I tell
you about bringing in strays
1272
00:51:34,677 --> 00:51:35,885
in the middle of the night?
1273
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:38,095
He could be a druggie
or a serial killer.
1274
00:51:38,129 --> 00:51:41,132
I'm so sorry, Dutch,
but he looked like he
1275
00:51:41,167 --> 00:51:43,410
was really down on his luck.
1276
00:51:43,445 --> 00:51:44,618
I'm sure he's harmless.
1277
00:51:44,653 --> 00:51:45,688
Yeah, we'll find out.
1278
00:51:45,723 --> 00:51:46,586
Hey, what's your name?
1279
00:51:46,620 --> 00:51:47,449
My name?
1280
00:51:47,483 --> 00:51:49,589
Well, my earthly name is Howard.
1281
00:51:49,623 --> 00:51:52,281
But downstairs, they
call me Haagenti.
1282
00:51:55,526 --> 00:51:56,458
Oh, yeah, he's crazy.
1283
00:51:56,492 --> 00:51:58,425
You done did it again, Edith.
1284
00:51:58,460 --> 00:51:59,944
So where can I
crash for the night?
1285
00:51:59,978 --> 00:52:01,601
Well, if you behave
yourself, you can
1286
00:52:01,635 --> 00:52:02,981
crash down the hall over there.
1287
00:52:03,016 --> 00:52:05,467
Man, this used to be a swingers
club, but we go to bed here,
1288
00:52:05,501 --> 00:52:06,744
9:30 sharp.
1289
00:52:06,778 --> 00:52:09,333
Oh, and if you
use the restroom
1290
00:52:09,367 --> 00:52:13,406
and you see the numbers on
the wall, don't call them.
1291
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,097
They're all hos.
1292
00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:19,136
I know that from
personal experience.
1293
00:52:19,170 --> 00:52:20,378
So, what's for breakfast?
1294
00:52:20,413 --> 00:52:23,347
Well, if I'm in a good
mood, French toast sticks.
1295
00:52:23,381 --> 00:52:25,866
If I'm not, plain oatmeal.
1296
00:52:25,901 --> 00:52:27,213
Hmm.
1297
00:52:27,247 --> 00:52:29,387
Well, I appreciate
your kindness.
1298
00:52:29,422 --> 00:52:30,285
Nighty night.
1299
00:52:30,319 --> 00:52:31,838
I hope the bedbugs do bite.
1300
00:52:31,872 --> 00:52:33,115
[laughs]
- Hey, wait, wait.
1301
00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:34,979
You see that bike over there?
That's my bike.
1302
00:52:35,013 --> 00:52:36,463
Don't touch that bike.
It's mine.
1303
00:52:36,498 --> 00:52:38,051
I'm the guard of the bike.
1304
00:52:38,085 --> 00:52:42,607
And this bike's clutch
only moves for Dutch.
1305
00:52:42,642 --> 00:52:43,850
Nighty night.
1306
00:52:43,884 --> 00:52:44,678
Nighty night.
1307
00:52:51,996 --> 00:52:53,963
Well, home sweet home.
1308
00:52:53,998 --> 00:52:56,966
[gentle music]
1309
00:52:59,969 --> 00:53:01,937
[farting]
1310
00:53:01,971 --> 00:53:04,457
Ah!
1311
00:53:04,491 --> 00:53:06,631
Nothing like a good
ass rip before bedtime.
1312
00:53:10,463 --> 00:53:11,291
Can't breathe!
1313
00:53:11,326 --> 00:53:12,672
Can't breathe!
1314
00:53:12,706 --> 00:53:14,156
Pull down the covers.
1315
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:17,159
[gasping]
1316
00:53:17,194 --> 00:53:18,298
Dude, I'm sorry.
1317
00:53:18,333 --> 00:53:19,989
I thought I was alone in here.
1318
00:53:20,024 --> 00:53:21,508
This is Franklin's room.
1319
00:53:21,543 --> 00:53:24,373
I've been staying here since
this was a swingers club.
1320
00:53:24,408 --> 00:53:26,479
Ah, man.
1321
00:53:26,513 --> 00:53:28,274
Well, how'd you like my gas?
1322
00:53:28,308 --> 00:53:29,654
You call that gas?
1323
00:53:29,689 --> 00:53:31,311
That was weak.
1324
00:53:31,346 --> 00:53:32,519
What?
1325
00:53:32,554 --> 00:53:35,177
If you wanted to have
a fart fight competition,
1326
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:36,868
you should have just told me.
1327
00:53:36,903 --> 00:53:37,869
[grunts]
1328
00:53:37,904 --> 00:53:40,251
[farts] There.
1329
00:53:40,286 --> 00:53:41,563
Oh, yeah?
1330
00:53:41,597 --> 00:53:43,530
[farting]
1331
00:53:44,359 --> 00:53:45,222
Nah, here.
1332
00:53:45,256 --> 00:53:46,326
[farts]
1333
00:53:47,189 --> 00:53:48,915
Oh, yeah?
1334
00:53:48,949 --> 00:53:50,882
[farting, grunting]
1335
00:53:50,917 --> 00:53:51,849
Ah!
1336
00:53:51,883 --> 00:53:53,126
Ah, my eyes!
1337
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:54,817
[farting, grunting]
1338
00:53:54,852 --> 00:53:55,749
Franklin gives up!
1339
00:53:55,784 --> 00:53:56,543
I give up.
1340
00:53:56,578 --> 00:53:57,682
[laughs]
1341
00:53:57,717 --> 00:54:00,789
Oh, my eyes are burning.
1342
00:54:00,823 --> 00:54:02,308
My butt trumpet always wins.
1343
00:54:02,342 --> 00:54:06,898
[laughs] You'll be all right.
1344
00:54:06,933 --> 00:54:08,866
We'll get some
salve or something.
1345
00:54:08,900 --> 00:54:10,281
OK.
1346
00:54:10,316 --> 00:54:11,386
Let's get some sleep.
1347
00:54:11,420 --> 00:54:12,594
Come on, Franklin.
1348
00:54:12,628 --> 00:54:14,423
You're my new best friend.
1349
00:54:14,458 --> 00:54:15,355
Hey!
1350
00:54:15,390 --> 00:54:16,253
Keep it down in there!
1351
00:54:16,287 --> 00:54:17,323
It's after 9:30!
1352
00:54:17,357 --> 00:54:18,496
Don't make me come in there!
1353
00:54:18,531 --> 00:54:21,223
Turn them lights out!
1354
00:54:21,258 --> 00:54:25,641
Oh, Dutch, what's
all the racket?
1355
00:54:25,676 --> 00:54:27,643
Oh, he's making
a ruckus in there.
1356
00:54:27,678 --> 00:54:32,338
[groans] Smells
like shit in here.
1357
00:54:32,372 --> 00:54:35,962
Hey, Dutch, be nice
to all those people.
1358
00:54:35,996 --> 00:54:36,997
Yeah.
1359
00:54:37,032 --> 00:54:39,517
It's tough out
there on the streets.
1360
00:54:39,552 --> 00:54:40,311
Yeah.
1361
00:54:40,346 --> 00:54:43,314
Here, pull my finger.
1362
00:54:43,349 --> 00:54:45,040
[farting]
1363
00:54:45,074 --> 00:54:45,834
Oh!
1364
00:54:45,868 --> 00:54:47,491
[laughs]
1365
00:54:47,525 --> 00:54:49,631
Damn, it tastes like corn.
1366
00:54:49,665 --> 00:54:50,804
What did you have for dinner?
1367
00:54:50,839 --> 00:54:52,012
[laughs]
1368
00:54:52,047 --> 00:54:52,841
Oh, gosh.
1369
00:54:56,500 --> 00:54:58,881
[wheels squeaking]
1370
00:54:59,882 --> 00:55:02,609
Hey, hey.
1371
00:55:02,644 --> 00:55:04,301
Eat up, my Excellency.
1372
00:55:04,335 --> 00:55:06,993
How can you run hell
on an empty stomach?
1373
00:55:07,027 --> 00:55:09,133
I'm not hungry.
1374
00:55:09,167 --> 00:55:11,204
I don't deserve to eat.
1375
00:55:11,238 --> 00:55:16,796
My son is still missing
somewhere up there.
1376
00:55:16,830 --> 00:55:20,558
[sighs] Sir, if I may.
1377
00:55:20,593 --> 00:55:23,492
Do you remember the last time
Howard went missing in the '60s?
1378
00:55:23,527 --> 00:55:24,804
It's just as long.
1379
00:55:24,838 --> 00:55:26,150
What was he doing?
1380
00:55:26,184 --> 00:55:29,705
He was picking off hippies
by the Bay under a fake name.
1381
00:55:29,740 --> 00:55:31,466
And he came back.
1382
00:55:31,500 --> 00:55:34,607
He will come back.
1383
00:55:34,641 --> 00:55:38,024
You always know just
what to say, don't you?
1384
00:55:38,058 --> 00:55:40,785
Now, pass the eyeball stew
with extra garlic entrails.
1385
00:55:40,820 --> 00:55:41,683
Woo!
1386
00:55:41,717 --> 00:55:44,686
Oh, score!
1387
00:55:44,720 --> 00:55:49,207
Still a bottle of my favorite
hot sauce, colon-destroying,
1388
00:55:49,242 --> 00:55:52,728
just like I like it.
1389
00:55:52,763 --> 00:55:57,768
Dark Lord, a young
man has been murdered.
1390
00:55:57,802 --> 00:56:01,323
He's broken into one of our
personal hell simulators.
1391
00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:03,221
They struck him down
before his time.
1392
00:56:03,256 --> 00:56:05,914
Uh-oh.
1393
00:56:05,948 --> 00:56:08,192
That is not good.
1394
00:56:08,226 --> 00:56:11,851
An early death isn't
properly recorded.
1395
00:56:11,885 --> 00:56:14,405
The man upstairs will
chew me out for this.
1396
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:17,443
As well as your son Howard
has allowed his skateboard
1397
00:56:17,477 --> 00:56:19,445
to fall into the wrong hands.
1398
00:56:19,479 --> 00:56:21,412
How would you like
me to proceed?
1399
00:56:21,447 --> 00:56:26,969
I think it's time for me
to get off my big, red ass
1400
00:56:27,004 --> 00:56:29,386
and retrieve my boy.
1401
00:56:29,420 --> 00:56:33,044
But sire, hell will
go to hell without you.
1402
00:56:33,079 --> 00:56:36,323
Who will run the trains and
make sure that they are on time?
1403
00:56:36,358 --> 00:56:39,361
You, along with
my personal security
1404
00:56:39,396 --> 00:56:42,571
guards, Virgil and Hogan.
1405
00:56:42,606 --> 00:56:43,572
You summoned us?
1406
00:56:43,607 --> 00:56:45,022
Reporting for duty, sir.
1407
00:56:45,056 --> 00:56:46,057
Yes.
1408
00:56:46,092 --> 00:56:49,889
It appears my son
may be in danger.
1409
00:56:49,923 --> 00:56:55,998
I must visit the Earth's
surface, sort this thing out.
1410
00:56:56,033 --> 00:56:57,931
You can count on us
to hold the fort down.
1411
00:56:57,966 --> 00:56:58,794
Oh, yeah.
1412
00:56:58,829 --> 00:57:02,626
No funny business on our watch.
1413
00:57:02,660 --> 00:57:03,834
Good.
1414
00:57:03,868 --> 00:57:06,664
Mother Earth has
given me a vision.
1415
00:57:06,699 --> 00:57:10,910
She says she will swallow
Howard by the morning,
1416
00:57:10,944 --> 00:57:12,981
although she will
not enjoy the taste.
1417
00:57:13,015 --> 00:57:14,638
[chuckles]
1418
00:57:14,672 --> 00:57:16,743
I can't take that chance.
1419
00:57:16,778 --> 00:57:19,643
Time for me to take
matters into my own hands.
1420
00:57:19,677 --> 00:57:22,473
[mop sloshing]
1421
00:57:25,338 --> 00:57:27,064
This isn't doing anything!
1422
00:57:27,098 --> 00:57:29,963
[heavy metal music]
1423
00:57:30,930 --> 00:57:34,140
[spits] Hey, guys,
I think I found
1424
00:57:34,174 --> 00:57:36,556
out how to track Ruby's phone.
I think I know where she's at.
1425
00:57:36,591 --> 00:57:38,420
BUCK: Well, what about
your partner in crime?
1426
00:57:38,455 --> 00:57:40,905
What's his name, Caleb Chase?
1427
00:57:40,940 --> 00:57:42,459
Chase?
- Chase?
1428
00:57:42,493 --> 00:57:43,494
Yeah, he's not answering.
1429
00:57:43,529 --> 00:57:44,495
His phone's dead.
1430
00:57:44,530 --> 00:57:46,186
But those two are
stuck at the hip.
1431
00:57:46,221 --> 00:57:48,430
They act like each
other's keepers.
1432
00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:50,397
I wish I had a keeper.
1433
00:57:50,432 --> 00:57:53,090
Kane said we could come by the
set later to show him the board.
1434
00:57:53,124 --> 00:57:54,298
Let's go find it.
1435
00:57:54,332 --> 00:57:56,265
I mean, the tracking
app might be a dead end,
1436
00:57:56,300 --> 00:57:57,543
but it's worth a shot, so.
1437
00:57:57,577 --> 00:57:59,648
Hey, Kurt, I
forgot to tell you.
1438
00:57:59,683 --> 00:58:02,202
Last night at the shop, the
detective was snooping around,
1439
00:58:02,237 --> 00:58:03,894
asking questions about you.
1440
00:58:03,928 --> 00:58:05,274
I think you're a suspect.
1441
00:58:05,309 --> 00:58:06,241
Suspect?
1442
00:58:06,275 --> 00:58:07,656
That's fucking rich.
1443
00:58:07,691 --> 00:58:09,900
I've kept my hands
clean since juvie.
1444
00:58:09,934 --> 00:58:11,039
Don't worry, Kurt.
1445
00:58:11,073 --> 00:58:13,386
If I see the cops, I'll
give you a warning.
1446
00:58:13,420 --> 00:58:14,801
Thanks for the heads up, Buck.
1447
00:58:14,836 --> 00:58:16,665
Come on, Kat.
1448
00:58:16,700 --> 00:58:18,425
All right, good
morning, everyone.
1449
00:58:18,460 --> 00:58:20,427
I hope that you all slept well.
1450
00:58:20,462 --> 00:58:22,809
Stop talking about me.
1451
00:58:22,844 --> 00:58:24,052
Time to get your grub on.
1452
00:58:24,086 --> 00:58:26,882
Um, Jane and I slaved
over a hot microwave
1453
00:58:26,917 --> 00:58:28,988
to get you this breakfast.
1454
00:58:29,022 --> 00:58:29,851
I'm starving.
1455
00:58:29,885 --> 00:58:31,369
I hope they have
quiche Lorraine.
1456
00:58:31,404 --> 00:58:33,993
I could be a Pop Tart myself.
1457
00:58:34,027 --> 00:58:35,684
Stop talking about me.
1458
00:58:35,719 --> 00:58:37,410
You know, I'm pretty
happy with whatever
1459
00:58:37,444 --> 00:58:39,136
these guys throw my way.
1460
00:58:39,170 --> 00:58:41,483
When I was a runaway,
I joined the circus.
1461
00:58:41,518 --> 00:58:44,762
And my ringmaster used to
take my cotton candy daily!
1462
00:58:44,797 --> 00:58:46,453
Pal, take it down a notch.
1463
00:58:46,488 --> 00:58:48,421
We don't want to hear
your whole life story.
1464
00:58:48,455 --> 00:58:51,217
I was a tightrope walker.
1465
00:58:51,251 --> 00:58:53,530
Yeah, and I got the stomach
jumblies pretty bad.
1466
00:58:53,564 --> 00:58:54,634
It was embarrassing.
1467
00:58:54,669 --> 00:58:56,015
They got rid of me pretty quick.
1468
00:58:56,049 --> 00:58:59,466
Stop talking about me.
1469
00:58:59,501 --> 00:59:03,160
Hey, I'm really sorry
about your face, Franklin.
1470
00:59:03,194 --> 00:59:05,438
It's just that
sometimes my sphincter
1471
00:59:05,472 --> 00:59:07,371
doesn't know its own strength.
1472
00:59:07,405 --> 00:59:08,855
Hey, no skin off my face.
1473
00:59:08,890 --> 00:59:12,514
[laughs] Good one.
1474
00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:13,653
That's a good one.
1475
00:59:13,688 --> 00:59:17,105
I will win the next
fart contest against you.
1476
00:59:17,139 --> 00:59:18,002
That's the spirit.
1477
00:59:18,037 --> 00:59:18,796
Awesome.
1478
00:59:18,831 --> 00:59:20,280
[laughs]
1479
00:59:20,315 --> 00:59:22,662
Maybe I'll put some more
of this aloe vera on here.
1480
00:59:22,697 --> 00:59:23,974
Yeah, I think it's helping.
1481
00:59:24,008 --> 00:59:25,769
[winces]
1482
00:59:25,803 --> 00:59:27,046
This place is bullshit.
1483
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:28,219
More oatmeal?
1484
00:59:28,254 --> 00:59:29,427
How will I ever make--
stay in my weight class
1485
00:59:29,462 --> 00:59:31,153
with these elementary
school portions?
1486
00:59:31,188 --> 00:59:32,292
That's enough, Cage.
1487
00:59:32,327 --> 00:59:33,673
Now, I understand
you're training
1488
00:59:33,708 --> 00:59:36,227
to be one of them fighters,
but up in this place,
1489
00:59:36,262 --> 00:59:38,057
nobody gets a larger
portion than the other.
1490
00:59:38,091 --> 00:59:39,403
Don't make me
throw your ass out.
1491
00:59:39,437 --> 00:59:40,197
Please don't.
1492
00:59:40,231 --> 00:59:41,060
It's cold out there.
1493
00:59:41,094 --> 00:59:42,233
Yeah, I know.
1494
00:59:42,268 --> 00:59:44,028
But consider yourself up
in here a lightweight.
1495
00:59:44,063 --> 00:59:46,306
Now, nobody gives me
gluttony up in my shelter.
1496
00:59:46,341 --> 00:59:47,204
You hear that?
1497
00:59:47,238 --> 00:59:48,067
Amen.
1498
00:59:48,101 --> 00:59:49,102
Praise him.
1499
00:59:49,137 --> 00:59:50,690
No gluttony.
1500
00:59:50,725 --> 00:59:52,589
Praise him.
1501
00:59:52,623 --> 00:59:54,936
Where the hell
did you come from?
1502
00:59:54,970 --> 00:59:56,938
I'm everywhere and nowhere.
1503
00:59:56,972 --> 00:59:59,250
It's wherever the
good Lord leads me.
1504
00:59:59,285 --> 01:00:02,046
Well, aren't you
something else?
1505
01:00:02,081 --> 01:00:03,151
Where's your sister?
1506
01:00:03,185 --> 01:00:04,601
Hmm.
1507
01:00:04,635 --> 01:00:06,879
Her and I are not
speaking at the moment.
1508
01:00:06,913 --> 01:00:10,745
Oh, well, here they come.
1509
01:00:10,779 --> 01:00:12,022
Yeah, speak of the devil.
1510
01:00:12,056 --> 01:00:13,610
Look what the cat dragged in.
1511
01:00:13,644 --> 01:00:15,646
Hello, Sister Nancy.
1512
01:00:15,681 --> 01:00:17,268
How's it hanging?
1513
01:00:17,303 --> 01:00:18,684
You two are very late.
1514
01:00:18,718 --> 01:00:21,583
And, Sister, your
habit is crooked.
1515
01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:24,344
And Father Maurice,
you are very sweaty.
1516
01:00:24,379 --> 01:00:28,832
Well, we-- we weren't
partaking in sinful acts.
1517
01:00:28,866 --> 01:00:31,628
No, I haven't thought
about the male anatomy
1518
01:00:31,662 --> 01:00:37,357
since seminary school,
unlike you, little heathen.
1519
01:00:37,392 --> 01:00:39,843
You'll be judged
for your sins.
1520
01:00:39,877 --> 01:00:42,259
Oh, I hope so.
1521
01:00:42,293 --> 01:00:45,055
I hope hell is
ready for Nun Nell.
1522
01:00:45,089 --> 01:00:46,884
These poor souls.
1523
01:00:46,919 --> 01:00:48,817
This place is quite a dump.
1524
01:00:48,852 --> 01:00:50,439
I think I need a tetanus shot.
1525
01:00:53,408 --> 01:00:54,823
You got something
to say to me?
1526
01:00:54,858 --> 01:00:56,618
If you don't like the
way I run my shelter,
1527
01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:58,206
you can just get out.
1528
01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:00,795
My bad.
1529
01:01:00,829 --> 01:01:04,937
This place is drab, but garish.
1530
01:01:04,971 --> 01:01:07,836
It's kind of like a brothel.
1531
01:01:07,871 --> 01:01:09,769
Well, that's because
it was, Father.
1532
01:01:09,804 --> 01:01:11,288
And it's cheap rent.
1533
01:01:11,322 --> 01:01:13,531
Greetings, everyone!
1534
01:01:13,566 --> 01:01:15,913
I hope you're all
prepared to be shocked
1535
01:01:15,948 --> 01:01:20,159
and amazed at the performance
I'm giving later today.
1536
01:01:20,193 --> 01:01:24,819
My power to hypnotize
will be put to the test!
1537
01:01:24,853 --> 01:01:29,996
[yells]
1538
01:01:30,031 --> 01:01:32,930
It says we're right here.
1539
01:01:32,965 --> 01:01:36,347
Oh, there she is, and the board.
1540
01:01:36,382 --> 01:01:38,246
You think she's just
passed out maybe?
1541
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:41,732
She doesn't look so good.
1542
01:01:41,767 --> 01:01:43,492
Where's Chase?
1543
01:01:43,527 --> 01:01:44,562
Who cares?
1544
01:01:44,597 --> 01:01:46,116
He's probably having
a meeting with a Hat
1545
01:01:46,150 --> 01:01:47,738
Man in some drugged-out stupor.
1546
01:01:47,773 --> 01:01:50,845
He's so fucked up on drugs, he
sometimes sleeps for three days
1547
01:01:50,879 --> 01:01:52,122
straight.
1548
01:01:52,156 --> 01:01:53,744
How does he go
to the bathroom?
1549
01:01:53,779 --> 01:01:55,159
He pisses in a jar.
1550
01:01:55,194 --> 01:01:57,679
He learned it from a
video game streamer.
1551
01:01:57,714 --> 01:01:59,439
Let's get the board
and get out of here.
1552
01:01:59,474 --> 01:02:00,820
This place gives me the creeps.
1553
01:02:00,855 --> 01:02:02,649
Yeah.
1554
01:02:02,684 --> 01:02:06,136
[soft dramatic music]
1555
01:02:15,076 --> 01:02:15,870
Sorry, Ruby.
1556
01:02:20,288 --> 01:02:22,048
Now we can bring
it back to Kane.
1557
01:02:22,083 --> 01:02:23,532
Let's go to the set now.
1558
01:02:23,567 --> 01:02:25,811
Yeah
1559
01:02:25,845 --> 01:02:27,709
[door opens]
1560
01:02:27,744 --> 01:02:30,091
[ominous music]
1561
01:02:30,125 --> 01:02:33,025
Hey, devil man!
1562
01:02:33,059 --> 01:02:35,165
You looking for
some party favors?
1563
01:02:35,199 --> 01:02:38,409
'Cause I got the best
booger sugar this side
1564
01:02:38,444 --> 01:02:40,101
of the northern hemisphere.
1565
01:02:40,135 --> 01:02:41,378
He's not lying.
1566
01:02:41,412 --> 01:02:45,623
My brother Ross, top
supplier for the demonoids.
1567
01:02:45,658 --> 01:02:48,350
And he only cuts his powder with
a little bit of baby laxative.
1568
01:02:48,385 --> 01:02:49,973
Damn it, Debbie,
you weren't supposed
1569
01:02:50,007 --> 01:02:52,009
to actually say that part.
1570
01:02:52,044 --> 01:02:53,700
This is why dad had us whacked.
1571
01:02:53,735 --> 01:02:55,461
Well, do you think
Satan really cares?
1572
01:02:55,495 --> 01:02:58,222
He looks like he eats
nails for breakfast.
1573
01:02:58,257 --> 01:03:00,466
Actually, I do.
1574
01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:07,059
Now, if you kids will get out
of my way, I have places to be.
1575
01:03:07,093 --> 01:03:09,716
See you later, Devil Daddy.
1576
01:03:09,751 --> 01:03:12,443
[distant wailing, moaning]
1577
01:03:13,237 --> 01:03:15,308
Oh!
1578
01:03:15,343 --> 01:03:17,138
I got one.
1579
01:03:17,172 --> 01:03:19,796
Mm.
1580
01:03:19,830 --> 01:03:20,762
Oh.
1581
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,316
Mm.
1582
01:03:23,351 --> 01:03:26,630
Greetings, king of
the bottomless pit.
1583
01:03:26,664 --> 01:03:31,946
Hey, it's me, your infernal
bathroom attendant, Marty.
1584
01:03:31,980 --> 01:03:36,709
Would you care for a hotel
or maybe a tasty urinal cake?
1585
01:03:36,743 --> 01:03:38,021
The used ones are the tastiest.
1586
01:03:40,575 --> 01:03:43,336
HELL DEVIL: Are you loco?
1587
01:03:43,371 --> 01:03:45,304
Can't you see I have
a mission at hand?
1588
01:03:45,338 --> 01:03:47,651
[stutters] I'm sorry.
1589
01:03:47,685 --> 01:03:48,755
I'm sorry.
1590
01:03:48,790 --> 01:03:50,930
I should have known
better not to interrupt
1591
01:03:50,965 --> 01:03:52,794
somebody during a good BM.
1592
01:03:52,829 --> 01:03:54,831
Bad, bad, bad.
1593
01:03:54,865 --> 01:03:55,935
Carry on.
1594
01:03:55,970 --> 01:04:00,215
Hey, the boss isn't
here to do his business.
1595
01:04:00,250 --> 01:04:03,046
Actually, I am.
1596
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:07,947
But right afterwards,
Chuckles, Dagon, and I
1597
01:04:07,982 --> 01:04:14,505
are using this stall as a portal
to visit the Earth's surface.
1598
01:04:14,540 --> 01:04:20,028
It is time to retrieve my son.
1599
01:04:20,063 --> 01:04:22,513
[footsteps]
1600
01:04:27,415 --> 01:04:29,348
[portal ringing]
1601
01:04:29,382 --> 01:04:30,867
[door thuds]
1602
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:37,563
[coughing] Oh.
1603
01:04:37,597 --> 01:04:41,153
I forgot how shapeshifting
does a number on my poor back.
1604
01:04:41,187 --> 01:04:43,431
Dark Lord, you look different.
1605
01:04:43,465 --> 01:04:46,675
Yeah, have you done something
different with your hair?
1606
01:04:46,710 --> 01:04:48,298
I changed shampoos.
1607
01:04:48,332 --> 01:04:49,920
You two are fools.
1608
01:04:49,955 --> 01:04:52,474
Obviously, I had to
take on a new form.
1609
01:04:52,509 --> 01:04:55,132
Do you believe I could
walk among earthlings
1610
01:04:55,167 --> 01:04:58,032
looking like someone out
of a
Goosepimples
book?
1611
01:04:58,066 --> 01:04:59,447
I suppose not.
1612
01:04:59,481 --> 01:05:00,758
The new look suits you.
1613
01:05:00,793 --> 01:05:04,348
Yeah, you have kind
eyes, like somebody
1614
01:05:04,383 --> 01:05:06,523
you can trust not to gut you.
1615
01:05:06,557 --> 01:05:08,007
Enough with the compliments.
1616
01:05:08,042 --> 01:05:09,526
I'll get a big head.
1617
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:11,942
We're here for one reason
and one reason only--
1618
01:05:11,977 --> 01:05:13,875
to find my son.
1619
01:05:13,910 --> 01:05:15,739
Don't forget about
the missing skateboard.
1620
01:05:15,773 --> 01:05:18,328
Are you implying I would
forget about the board?
1621
01:05:18,362 --> 01:05:20,813
Listen, my body
may have changed,
1622
01:05:20,847 --> 01:05:27,337
but I will give you a beating
if you sass me one more time.
1623
01:05:27,371 --> 01:05:28,648
My mistake.
1624
01:05:28,683 --> 01:05:30,029
Where should we
begin our search?
1625
01:05:30,064 --> 01:05:30,823
Not here.
1626
01:05:30,857 --> 01:05:33,722
[sniffs] I can't smell him.
1627
01:05:33,757 --> 01:05:36,933
All I smell is moose
pies and cowboy nuts.
1628
01:05:36,967 --> 01:05:40,074
If Howard is still on this
planet with his board,
1629
01:05:40,108 --> 01:05:42,455
this device will find him.
1630
01:05:42,490 --> 01:05:44,354
[gravel crunching]
1631
01:05:45,286 --> 01:05:46,528
Hey, man, snap out of it.
1632
01:05:46,563 --> 01:05:48,875
What's going on with you, Kurt?
1633
01:05:48,910 --> 01:05:51,154
Dude, you've been zoning out!
1634
01:05:51,188 --> 01:05:52,879
Hey!
1635
01:05:52,914 --> 01:05:54,847
What's your problem?
1636
01:05:54,881 --> 01:05:55,641
I don't know.
1637
01:05:55,675 --> 01:05:56,953
It's-- it's this board.
1638
01:05:56,987 --> 01:05:58,644
When you stare in its
eyes, it's like it
1639
01:05:58,678 --> 01:06:00,715
tempts you with everything
you ever wanted.
1640
01:06:00,749 --> 01:06:02,648
Maybe you shouldn't be
looking at it so much.
1641
01:06:05,306 --> 01:06:07,687
Yeah.
1642
01:06:07,722 --> 01:06:08,965
What gives?
1643
01:06:08,999 --> 01:06:11,312
The board's not here.
1644
01:06:11,346 --> 01:06:13,314
All the coordinates are correct.
1645
01:06:13,348 --> 01:06:16,973
My liege, do you think she
could be of some help to us?
1646
01:06:17,007 --> 01:06:19,976
I'm going to incapacitate
her mental awareness.
1647
01:06:20,010 --> 01:06:23,531
We can't have any witnesses
blabbing about us.
1648
01:06:23,565 --> 01:06:25,326
Be foolish.
1649
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:27,466
Become foolish.
1650
01:06:27,500 --> 01:06:29,951
[energy whirring]
1651
01:06:37,717 --> 01:06:39,685
Oh, I like 'em crazy.
1652
01:06:39,719 --> 01:06:41,514
Can she be my new pet?
1653
01:06:41,549 --> 01:06:43,689
Come on, boys, let's
go find the board.
1654
01:06:50,523 --> 01:06:51,766
EZRA: Can I get your attention?
1655
01:06:51,800 --> 01:06:52,767
Everybody, over here!
1656
01:06:52,801 --> 01:06:55,977
Welcome to the party
of the century.
1657
01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:56,771
Yeah!
1658
01:06:56,805 --> 01:06:57,979
My name is Ezra.
1659
01:06:58,014 --> 01:07:00,257
I'm going to be your
party emcee for the night.
1660
01:07:00,292 --> 01:07:02,846
When the devil's away, the
fallen angels will play.
1661
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:03,640
Am I right?
1662
01:07:03,674 --> 01:07:05,538
Am I right?
1663
01:07:05,573 --> 01:07:07,333
This party's kind of
getting out of hand.
1664
01:07:07,368 --> 01:07:09,404
You think it's time
to shut it down?
1665
01:07:09,439 --> 01:07:10,854
Why?
1666
01:07:10,888 --> 01:07:14,202
It's the most fun us demons can
have, with or without pants on.
1667
01:07:14,237 --> 01:07:14,996
You know what?
1668
01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:16,273
You're right.
1669
01:07:16,308 --> 01:07:20,036
I think it's time to get a
raw steak and chew on it.
1670
01:07:20,070 --> 01:07:23,453
[kissing]
1671
01:07:23,487 --> 01:07:25,420
[neck crunches]
1672
01:07:25,455 --> 01:07:28,423
[kissing]
1673
01:07:34,843 --> 01:07:37,294
[smacking lips]
1674
01:07:47,201 --> 01:07:51,101
Hey, guys, are you OK?
1675
01:07:51,136 --> 01:07:56,934
Do you need a lift or
maybe a frozen fudge pop?
1676
01:07:56,969 --> 01:07:59,040
You're very kind
to offer us dessert,
1677
01:07:59,075 --> 01:08:02,285
but we're still full from the
mealworms we had here earlier.
1678
01:08:02,319 --> 01:08:05,357
Uh, you're not from
around here, are you?
1679
01:08:05,391 --> 01:08:06,185
We're not.
1680
01:08:06,220 --> 01:08:08,360
We're from the Deep South.
1681
01:08:08,394 --> 01:08:10,086
Yeah, I can definitely
hear the Southern
1682
01:08:10,120 --> 01:08:12,260
accent in your-- your voice.
1683
01:08:12,295 --> 01:08:13,882
[kissing]
1684
01:08:13,917 --> 01:08:16,368
Your girl looks
a little confused.
1685
01:08:16,402 --> 01:08:17,645
Is she OK?
1686
01:08:17,679 --> 01:08:19,060
Oh, don't worry about her.
1687
01:08:19,095 --> 01:08:22,684
She's just lovestruck,
seeing a hunk like you stop.
1688
01:08:22,719 --> 01:08:25,101
I'm just-- I'm
just a TV repairman.
1689
01:08:25,135 --> 01:08:27,827
I-- I just don't like static.
1690
01:08:27,862 --> 01:08:29,726
Hey, is that a
dodo bird over there?
1691
01:08:29,760 --> 01:08:30,692
[fist thuds]
1692
01:08:30,727 --> 01:08:33,971
[groans] [gasping]
1693
01:08:34,006 --> 01:08:36,457
[knife slicing]
1694
01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:46,329
Uh-oh.
1695
01:08:46,363 --> 01:08:49,849
Do either of you
know how to drive?
1696
01:08:49,884 --> 01:08:51,230
Vroom!
1697
01:08:51,265 --> 01:08:52,783
Me race car driver.
1698
01:08:52,818 --> 01:08:57,443
[laughs]
1699
01:08:57,478 --> 01:08:59,756
No, sire, I only
rode horseback in life.
1700
01:09:02,517 --> 01:09:03,863
Don't look at me.
1701
01:09:03,898 --> 01:09:06,245
Ever since that swing
set hit me in the head,
1702
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:07,488
I don't remember how to drive.
1703
01:09:07,522 --> 01:09:09,421
[laughs]
1704
01:09:09,455 --> 01:09:11,561
I guess we're walking, boys.
1705
01:09:11,595 --> 01:09:12,872
Let's go.
1706
01:09:12,907 --> 01:09:16,911
[spits] [chuckles]
That's nice.
1707
01:09:20,121 --> 01:09:23,435
[whimsical music]
1708
01:09:27,301 --> 01:09:30,407
Howard, is it?
1709
01:09:30,442 --> 01:09:33,272
Do these floors
look clean to you?
1710
01:09:33,307 --> 01:09:37,380
The grout in between
these tiles is filthy.
1711
01:09:37,414 --> 01:09:39,485
I like it filthy.
1712
01:09:39,520 --> 01:09:41,280
Reminds me of home.
1713
01:09:41,315 --> 01:09:42,523
Yeah?
1714
01:09:42,557 --> 01:09:45,905
Well, that won't get you
any extra oats at mealtime.
1715
01:09:45,940 --> 01:09:48,805
Dutch wants these floors
clean enough to eat from.
1716
01:09:48,839 --> 01:09:52,671
That's not the only thing I've
seen Dutch do on these floors.
1717
01:09:52,705 --> 01:09:54,880
Dutch is a
reformed sex addict.
1718
01:09:54,914 --> 01:09:56,985
Don't be such an ass.
1719
01:09:57,020 --> 01:09:58,401
Can't help it.
1720
01:09:58,435 --> 01:10:01,818
He feeds us so many oats, I feel
like I'm turning into an ass.
1721
01:10:01,852 --> 01:10:04,061
Yeehaw!
1722
01:10:04,096 --> 01:10:06,512
Yeah, well, Dutch
used to serve surf
1723
01:10:06,547 --> 01:10:08,376
and turf every other night.
1724
01:10:08,411 --> 01:10:12,794
But he's a gambling addict,
so food budget comes last.
1725
01:10:12,829 --> 01:10:13,657
Hmm.
1726
01:10:13,692 --> 01:10:15,314
He sounds like a real winner.
1727
01:10:15,349 --> 01:10:18,800
Bud, buddy, I'm glad
somebody's a winner.
1728
01:10:18,835 --> 01:10:22,632
Because-- because the
floor is not winning.
1729
01:10:22,666 --> 01:10:24,047
You're doing a terrible job.
1730
01:10:24,081 --> 01:10:24,841
Oh, right.
1731
01:10:24,875 --> 01:10:25,980
Doing my best, boss.
1732
01:10:26,014 --> 01:10:26,774
Watch, watch.
1733
01:10:26,808 --> 01:10:27,775
Give it to me.
1734
01:10:27,809 --> 01:10:29,121
Look.
1735
01:10:29,155 --> 01:10:32,642
The British way,
pinky up and scrub.
1736
01:10:32,676 --> 01:10:33,850
Oh, let me give it a shot.
1737
01:10:33,884 --> 01:10:35,161
OK.
1738
01:10:35,196 --> 01:10:37,716
Pinky up and scrub.
1739
01:10:37,750 --> 01:10:40,028
That's kind of a sexual move.
1740
01:10:40,063 --> 01:10:45,413
It's kind of a-- kind of
sexual connotations to it.
1741
01:10:45,448 --> 01:10:46,449
You know what I mean.
1742
01:10:46,483 --> 01:10:47,415
All right.
1743
01:10:47,450 --> 01:10:49,037
Just keep grinding.
1744
01:10:49,072 --> 01:10:50,660
I am a mutant MILF.
1745
01:10:50,694 --> 01:10:51,488
Yeah!
1746
01:10:51,523 --> 01:10:52,420
Oh, yeah.
1747
01:10:52,455 --> 01:10:53,214
MILF!
1748
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:55,251
Yes, you're very beautiful.
1749
01:10:55,285 --> 01:10:57,011
What are you going to do to us?
1750
01:10:57,045 --> 01:10:58,115
Drain your blood!
1751
01:10:58,150 --> 01:10:59,910
[laughter]
1752
01:10:59,945 --> 01:11:01,705
You're sick and twisted!
1753
01:11:01,740 --> 01:11:04,329
I'm not twisted, the world is.
1754
01:11:04,363 --> 01:11:08,471
And ever since my mutant
family was pushed from our home
1755
01:11:08,505 --> 01:11:09,334
with a pitchfork--
1756
01:11:09,368 --> 01:11:10,093
Oh, yeah!
1757
01:11:10,127 --> 01:11:10,956
Yes, mama.
1758
01:11:10,990 --> 01:11:14,270
--we have been
seeking revenge.
1759
01:11:14,304 --> 01:11:15,443
Revenge!
1760
01:11:15,478 --> 01:11:20,828
When one of your little
normies cars breaks down,
1761
01:11:20,862 --> 01:11:22,692
we get to teach you
a little humility.
1762
01:11:22,726 --> 01:11:23,658
Break down.
1763
01:11:23,693 --> 01:11:25,488
[yells]
1764
01:11:25,522 --> 01:11:28,249
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
1765
01:11:28,284 --> 01:11:29,457
[growls]
1766
01:11:29,492 --> 01:11:32,598
Oh, an eye for an eye.
1767
01:11:32,633 --> 01:11:33,427
Yeah!
1768
01:11:33,461 --> 01:11:34,669
[clapping]
1769
01:11:34,704 --> 01:11:35,498
An for an eye!
1770
01:11:35,532 --> 01:11:36,913
[laughter]
1771
01:11:38,363 --> 01:11:40,123
I had nothing to do with your
family being run out of town.
1772
01:11:40,157 --> 01:11:41,227
Norman.
1773
01:11:41,262 --> 01:11:42,021
Ha!
1774
01:11:42,056 --> 01:11:43,575
Him, yeah.
1775
01:11:43,609 --> 01:11:46,681
That one.
1776
01:11:46,716 --> 01:11:50,340
Mutants have been treated
like lower-class citizens.
1777
01:11:50,375 --> 01:11:51,168
Yeah, citizens!
1778
01:11:53,895 --> 01:11:59,936
Well, it is time for the
mutants to take over the world!
1779
01:11:59,970 --> 01:12:03,215
[mutants cheering, laughing]
1780
01:12:03,249 --> 01:12:04,112
Ha-ha!
1781
01:12:04,147 --> 01:12:05,355
Yeah!
1782
01:12:05,390 --> 01:12:06,149
Nice shoes.
1783
01:12:06,183 --> 01:12:08,013
[groans] Oh my god!
1784
01:12:08,047 --> 01:12:09,532
[entrails splatting]
1785
01:12:09,566 --> 01:12:12,535
[mutants laughing]
1786
01:12:14,571 --> 01:12:16,711
What's going on here?
1787
01:12:16,746 --> 01:12:20,094
Are you guys doing a bit
of kidnapping roleplay?
1788
01:12:20,128 --> 01:12:20,888
Kinky.
1789
01:12:20,922 --> 01:12:21,716
Dude, help up!
1790
01:12:21,751 --> 01:12:23,062
She's fucking crazy!
1791
01:12:23,097 --> 01:12:24,719
Oh, shut up.
1792
01:12:24,754 --> 01:12:26,963
That's not even the safe word.
1793
01:12:26,997 --> 01:12:27,929
Can I join in?
1794
01:12:27,964 --> 01:12:28,965
You know, I'm--
1795
01:12:28,999 --> 01:12:30,380
Kane, Kane, where
are you, Kane?
1796
01:12:30,415 --> 01:12:31,174
Kane?
1797
01:12:31,208 --> 01:12:33,383
KANE: Cut, cut, cut!
1798
01:12:33,418 --> 01:12:34,695
Damn it to hell.
1799
01:12:34,729 --> 01:12:36,490
Take it from the top.
1800
01:12:36,524 --> 01:12:37,594
The fuck you mean cut?
1801
01:12:37,629 --> 01:12:39,458
Man, that shit was pure magic.
1802
01:12:39,493 --> 01:12:41,495
Small P, are you stupid?
1803
01:12:41,529 --> 01:12:44,463
These two are not even
part of the scene.
1804
01:12:44,498 --> 01:12:45,947
Let's do it again.
1805
01:12:45,982 --> 01:12:47,501
They're not part of the scene?
1806
01:12:47,535 --> 01:12:50,504
Barbara is the best
part of this scene.
1807
01:12:50,538 --> 01:12:53,265
This whole film, every scene
should be with Barbara.
1808
01:12:53,299 --> 01:12:55,612
She is like the cheese
curds in the poutine.
1809
01:12:55,647 --> 01:12:59,064
Barbara is like the
modern-day Brigitte Bardot.
1810
01:12:59,098 --> 01:13:02,550
[soft dramatic music]
1811
01:13:04,034 --> 01:13:06,002
[energy whooshing]
1812
01:13:10,455 --> 01:13:13,354
Oh.
1813
01:13:13,389 --> 01:13:15,252
It worked.
1814
01:13:15,287 --> 01:13:16,253
I'm back on Earth.
1815
01:13:18,980 --> 01:13:22,984
[sighs] And it's hotter
than hell out here.
1816
01:13:23,019 --> 01:13:23,813
Thirsty.
1817
01:13:27,264 --> 01:13:28,473
Oh, yeah.
1818
01:13:33,478 --> 01:13:34,789
Ow.
1819
01:13:34,824 --> 01:13:37,274
Not supposed to hurt.
1820
01:13:37,309 --> 01:13:49,701
[slurping] [sighs] Oh,
I feel a little woozy.
1821
01:13:49,735 --> 01:13:51,634
[body thuds]
1822
01:13:54,982 --> 01:13:57,053
[energy whooshing]
1823
01:13:57,881 --> 01:14:02,368
[groans] Some vacation.
1824
01:14:02,403 --> 01:14:06,338
[groans] I give up.
1825
01:14:06,372 --> 01:14:07,477
So what's the verdict?
1826
01:14:07,512 --> 01:14:09,375
Have you ever seen
anything like this before?
1827
01:14:09,410 --> 01:14:10,722
You sell a lot of boards.
1828
01:14:10,756 --> 01:14:11,930
Never in my life.
1829
01:14:11,964 --> 01:14:13,518
This thing is tripping me out.
1830
01:14:13,552 --> 01:14:14,553
Really?
1831
01:14:14,588 --> 01:14:16,037
Let's take a look
under the grip tape.
1832
01:14:16,072 --> 01:14:16,866
Good idea.
1833
01:14:22,561 --> 01:14:24,425
[skateboard flesh crackling]
1834
01:14:24,460 --> 01:14:27,152
Holy fuck!
1835
01:14:27,186 --> 01:14:29,982
I'm starting to believe
this board really is cursed.
1836
01:14:30,017 --> 01:14:31,881
It's alive!
1837
01:14:31,915 --> 01:14:33,296
Really, John?
1838
01:14:33,330 --> 01:14:36,782
Word of warning, Kurt,
get rid of this thing.
1839
01:14:36,817 --> 01:14:41,166
Whoever owned this before burns
churches and worships Satan.
1840
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:42,029
Oh, sick.
1841
01:14:42,063 --> 01:14:43,617
I love black metal.
1842
01:14:43,651 --> 01:14:45,653
Didn't you say it
transported you somewhere?
1843
01:14:45,688 --> 01:14:47,621
Yeah, a little escape room.
1844
01:14:47,655 --> 01:14:49,864
It was like my
own personal hell.
1845
01:14:49,899 --> 01:14:52,488
I got taken to a personal
hell too, a beauty salon.
1846
01:14:52,522 --> 01:14:53,316
Wait a minute.
1847
01:14:53,350 --> 01:14:55,836
Did you guys say personal hell?
1848
01:14:55,870 --> 01:14:57,320
Damn, I've been
touching this thing.
1849
01:14:57,354 --> 01:14:59,460
I got to go make a confession.
1850
01:14:59,495 --> 01:15:01,773
So what should we do with it?
1851
01:15:01,807 --> 01:15:02,912
Destroy it.
1852
01:15:02,946 --> 01:15:05,293
Nothing good can come
from owning this thing.
1853
01:15:05,328 --> 01:15:06,398
Are you sure?
1854
01:15:06,432 --> 01:15:07,779
I mean, I could just
take it home with me.
1855
01:15:07,813 --> 01:15:08,573
I could put it up.
1856
01:15:08,607 --> 01:15:10,091
No way!
1857
01:15:10,126 --> 01:15:12,024
This isn't a dream catcher.
1858
01:15:12,059 --> 01:15:14,095
This is a soul sucker.
1859
01:15:14,130 --> 01:15:15,269
This place is weak.
1860
01:15:15,303 --> 01:15:17,443
These pukes all deserve
to die 10 times over.
1861
01:15:17,478 --> 01:15:19,480
If I still had my
pipe-bomb-making kit,
1862
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:22,207
I'd end this precious
rager real quick.
1863
01:15:22,241 --> 01:15:26,142
Dude, what is your problem?
1864
01:15:26,176 --> 01:15:28,316
You having trouble
finding your tribe?
1865
01:15:28,351 --> 01:15:30,249
Pop one of our pills.
1866
01:15:30,284 --> 01:15:32,251
Call it a peace offering.
1867
01:15:32,286 --> 01:15:33,770
You'll loosen up real quick.
1868
01:15:33,805 --> 01:15:36,221
Maybe try a less
brooding look.
1869
01:15:36,255 --> 01:15:38,154
Maybe lose the sunglasses.
1870
01:15:38,188 --> 01:15:40,501
I bet you got beautiful eyes.
1871
01:15:40,536 --> 01:15:41,951
Let's show them all to hell.
1872
01:15:41,985 --> 01:15:42,986
Come on!
1873
01:15:43,021 --> 01:15:44,919
Don't touch the
fucking sunglasses, man.
1874
01:15:44,954 --> 01:15:46,300
They're from Italy.
1875
01:15:46,334 --> 01:15:48,716
[energetic orchestral music]
1876
01:15:51,098 --> 01:15:52,237
Come one!
1877
01:15:52,271 --> 01:15:54,273
Come all!
1878
01:15:54,308 --> 01:15:58,174
Prepare your anus-- your brain.
1879
01:15:58,208 --> 01:15:59,037
I mean.
1880
01:15:59,071 --> 01:16:02,212
Because I am the Amazing Arnold.
1881
01:16:02,247 --> 01:16:06,838
And I have come here tonight
to hypnotize your mind.
1882
01:16:06,872 --> 01:16:10,945
[cackles] Show
starts in 10 minutes.
1883
01:16:10,980 --> 01:16:12,844
Please take a seat.
1884
01:16:12,878 --> 01:16:14,777
Yeah, just--
1885
01:16:14,811 --> 01:16:17,124
Do you guys think
this man's legit?
1886
01:16:17,158 --> 01:16:19,022
I think it's all a scam.
1887
01:16:19,057 --> 01:16:21,611
So a friend of mine told
me that a friend of his,
1888
01:16:21,646 --> 01:16:24,718
after a party, he was
hypnotized by drinking
1889
01:16:24,752 --> 01:16:26,789
some spiked iced
tea, spiked iced tea.
1890
01:16:26,823 --> 01:16:28,687
It's all smoke and mirrors.
1891
01:16:28,722 --> 01:16:30,586
Bullshit!
1892
01:16:30,620 --> 01:16:35,763
These guys prey on
weak-minded people.
1893
01:16:35,798 --> 01:16:38,801
Once a hypnotist told
me my dead goldfish
1894
01:16:38,835 --> 01:16:41,010
was in the afterlife.
1895
01:16:41,044 --> 01:16:44,392
And he wasn't mad at me for
flushing it down the toilet.
1896
01:16:44,427 --> 01:16:48,707
You know, I've seen this
guy in a movie before.
1897
01:16:48,742 --> 01:16:52,331
Yeah, some-- some crazy
town where nobody drank
1898
01:16:52,366 --> 01:16:55,921
any coffee and all
the baked goods
1899
01:16:55,956 --> 01:16:59,373
were like a toxic green color.
1900
01:16:59,407 --> 01:17:00,961
[dog whistle blowing]
1901
01:17:00,995 --> 01:17:03,446
Quiet down, everyone.
1902
01:17:03,480 --> 01:17:09,452
The show is about to begin.
1903
01:17:09,486 --> 01:17:10,384
He has a whistle.
1904
01:17:10,418 --> 01:17:11,557
He means business.
1905
01:17:11,592 --> 01:17:14,595
He means business.
1906
01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:18,357
Shh, nobody make a peep.
1907
01:17:18,392 --> 01:17:22,258
We need to make a plan
to find the board.
1908
01:17:22,292 --> 01:17:24,329
Sire, what did
you have in mind?
1909
01:17:24,363 --> 01:17:26,952
The tracker has
gotten us this far.
1910
01:17:26,987 --> 01:17:28,782
The board is close.
1911
01:17:28,816 --> 01:17:31,301
We need to split up and find it.
1912
01:17:31,336 --> 01:17:33,200
But, Dark Lord, I
haven't been apart from you
1913
01:17:33,234 --> 01:17:34,442
in half a millennium.
1914
01:17:34,477 --> 01:17:35,478
Yes, I know.
1915
01:17:35,512 --> 01:17:37,204
It's time to cut the cord.
1916
01:17:37,238 --> 01:17:37,998
Cord fun.
1917
01:17:38,032 --> 01:17:40,483
Jump rope.
1918
01:17:40,517 --> 01:17:41,380
Rope.
1919
01:17:41,415 --> 01:17:42,347
I like that idea.
1920
01:17:42,381 --> 01:17:44,107
Let's-- let's go with that idea.
1921
01:17:44,142 --> 01:17:46,696
You all are useful idiots.
1922
01:17:46,731 --> 01:17:50,700
It's time to go out and
prove yourselves to me.
1923
01:17:50,735 --> 01:17:54,462
[laughs]
1924
01:17:54,497 --> 01:18:01,849
Who is-- who is ready
to be shocked and amazed?
1925
01:18:01,884 --> 01:18:08,753
Eeny, meeny, miney, moe.
1926
01:18:08,787 --> 01:18:10,375
There you go, Howard.
1927
01:18:10,409 --> 01:18:12,446
ARNOLD: How about
you, young man?
1928
01:18:12,480 --> 01:18:14,103
What's your name?
1929
01:18:14,137 --> 01:18:15,898
Uh, the name's Howard.
1930
01:18:15,932 --> 01:18:18,107
And I'm not buying
one bit of this crap.
1931
01:18:18,141 --> 01:18:22,352
[laughs] We'll see, Howard.
1932
01:18:22,387 --> 01:18:25,804
Step this way.
1933
01:18:25,839 --> 01:18:26,771
Go for it.
1934
01:18:26,805 --> 01:18:27,772
All right, all right.
1935
01:18:27,806 --> 01:18:29,670
[cheers, applause]
1936
01:18:29,705 --> 01:18:31,154
All right, all right.
ALL: Howard!
1937
01:18:31,189 --> 01:18:32,121
Howard!
Howard!
1938
01:18:32,155 --> 01:18:33,605
Howard!
1939
01:18:33,639 --> 01:18:35,883
[bag rustling]
1940
01:18:36,712 --> 01:18:37,505
Ah!
1941
01:18:43,822 --> 01:18:48,068
[gulps] I love food!
1942
01:18:48,102 --> 01:18:49,448
Trash food is good!
1943
01:18:49,483 --> 01:18:51,209
[can thudding]
1944
01:18:51,243 --> 01:18:52,555
Aha!
1945
01:18:52,589 --> 01:18:53,936
Caught you in the act!
1946
01:18:53,970 --> 01:18:56,352
What did I tell you
people about trash
1947
01:18:56,386 --> 01:18:58,216
and making a mess on my set?
1948
01:18:58,250 --> 01:19:00,287
[growls] Eating food!
1949
01:19:00,321 --> 01:19:01,633
Go away!
1950
01:19:01,667 --> 01:19:05,119
[growling]
1951
01:19:05,154 --> 01:19:06,983
[groans] Oh!
1952
01:19:07,018 --> 01:19:08,053
Oh, no!
1953
01:19:08,088 --> 01:19:09,089
I'm making a mess!
1954
01:19:09,123 --> 01:19:11,608
[groaning]
1955
01:19:11,643 --> 01:19:14,128
[entrails splatting]
1956
01:19:16,959 --> 01:19:18,892
Oh, there's blood everywhere!
1957
01:19:18,926 --> 01:19:20,203
It's disgusting!
1958
01:19:20,238 --> 01:19:22,447
Oh, I'm making a mess all over.
1959
01:19:22,481 --> 01:19:23,344
Look at all the blood!
1960
01:19:23,379 --> 01:19:24,967
Oh, please stop!
1961
01:19:25,001 --> 01:19:27,970
[groans]
1962
01:19:28,004 --> 01:19:29,419
[body thuds]
1963
01:19:29,454 --> 01:19:32,837
[laughs] You trash now.
1964
01:19:37,393 --> 01:19:40,845
[entrails splatting, whooshing]
1965
01:19:42,881 --> 01:19:46,057
Is the real makeup
artist off today?
1966
01:19:46,091 --> 01:19:47,058
What'd you say?
1967
01:19:47,092 --> 01:19:48,922
[gags]
1968
01:19:48,956 --> 01:19:49,923
MAN 1: Yeah, this is it.
1969
01:19:49,957 --> 01:19:51,717
MAN 2: What is this?
1970
01:19:51,752 --> 01:19:53,133
Ow!
MAN 1: Because, you know, I'm--
1971
01:19:53,167 --> 01:19:55,307
MAN 2: What is this crap
you're putting on me?
1972
01:19:56,964 --> 01:19:59,449
I'm a producer as well.
1973
01:19:59,484 --> 01:20:02,142
I love to produce
shit in the toilet.
1974
01:20:02,176 --> 01:20:04,523
I just hate to wipe.
1975
01:20:04,558 --> 01:20:08,010
[dramatic music]
1976
01:20:09,528 --> 01:20:12,497
[cackling]
1977
01:20:17,467 --> 01:20:18,296
Hey, sweetheart.
1978
01:20:18,330 --> 01:20:20,160
What are you doing out here?
1979
01:20:20,194 --> 01:20:21,989
I don't remember you
from the table reading.
1980
01:20:22,024 --> 01:20:23,542
You want-- you want a smoke?
1981
01:20:23,577 --> 01:20:27,029
I'll take smoking apparatus.
1982
01:20:27,063 --> 01:20:28,824
I'll get you one.
1983
01:20:28,858 --> 01:20:29,755
You want this one?
1984
01:20:29,790 --> 01:20:30,722
Oops, oh.
1985
01:20:30,756 --> 01:20:33,932
Uh-oh, butterfingers.
1986
01:20:33,967 --> 01:20:34,830
Cigarette butt.
1987
01:20:39,213 --> 01:20:40,007
Butt!
1988
01:20:40,042 --> 01:20:41,284
[knife slices]
1989
01:20:41,319 --> 01:20:43,286
[screams]
1990
01:20:43,321 --> 01:20:45,737
[blood splattering]
1991
01:20:45,771 --> 01:20:48,153
[laughs] Oh.
1992
01:20:48,188 --> 01:20:49,948
[body thuds]
1993
01:20:51,329 --> 01:20:53,331
You've got a third butt cheek!
1994
01:20:53,365 --> 01:20:59,820
[laughs] Ah!
1995
01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:01,270
Another one!
1996
01:21:01,304 --> 01:21:04,480
[laughs]
1997
01:21:04,514 --> 01:21:05,895
Who the hell are you?
1998
01:21:05,930 --> 01:21:07,966
Is Jim replacing me?
1999
01:21:08,001 --> 01:21:10,141
Listen, I'm the only
multi-talented actress
2000
01:21:10,175 --> 01:21:13,351
on this set, so buzz off.
2001
01:21:13,385 --> 01:21:14,559
Buzz, buzz!
2002
01:21:14,593 --> 01:21:16,492
Hey, why are you
still in character?
2003
01:21:16,526 --> 01:21:17,631
That's super weird.
2004
01:21:17,665 --> 01:21:18,735
But let me do you a favor.
2005
01:21:18,770 --> 01:21:20,185
This director is a total hack.
2006
01:21:20,220 --> 01:21:21,773
And he is not replacing me.
2007
01:21:21,807 --> 01:21:23,395
So you just stay right there.
2008
01:21:23,430 --> 01:21:26,398
And I'm going to go give
him a piece of my mind.
2009
01:21:26,433 --> 01:21:27,917
[body thuds]
2010
01:21:27,952 --> 01:21:29,401
[hammer thudding]
2011
01:21:29,436 --> 01:21:31,369
[gasping]
2012
01:21:31,403 --> 01:21:32,818
[bones cracking]
2013
01:21:32,853 --> 01:21:35,166
Hypnotize.
2014
01:21:35,200 --> 01:21:37,306
Hypmotize!
2015
01:21:37,340 --> 01:21:42,449
Howard, you are under
my complete control.
2016
01:21:42,483 --> 01:21:45,107
I have unlocked your psyche.
2017
01:21:45,141 --> 01:21:47,903
And I expect to hear the truth.
2018
01:21:47,937 --> 01:21:52,286
When I count to 3, you
will mind dump onto me all
2019
01:21:52,321 --> 01:21:55,358
of your earthly wrongdoings.
2020
01:21:55,393 --> 01:21:59,155
Uh, 1, uh, 2, uh, 3.
2021
01:21:59,190 --> 01:22:02,676
[suspenseful music]
2022
01:22:02,710 --> 01:22:07,612
For the last 20 years, I've
been visiting your surface
2023
01:22:07,646 --> 01:22:12,030
world from the depths of hell.
2024
01:22:12,065 --> 01:22:17,484
I travel here on my skateboard,
a cursed board crafted
2025
01:22:17,518 --> 01:22:21,660
by Satan, my dear old dad.
2026
01:22:21,695 --> 01:22:27,114
When I come up here, I
wreak havoc in the streets,
2027
01:22:27,149 --> 01:22:31,532
robbing and killing
the homeless.
2028
01:22:31,567 --> 01:22:34,225
My favorite drink is bum juice.
2029
01:22:34,259 --> 01:22:35,053
Mm.
2030
01:22:37,953 --> 01:22:44,097
I want to be good, but
it's so fun to be bad.
2031
01:22:44,131 --> 01:22:47,721
Franklin's disappointed.
2032
01:22:47,755 --> 01:22:49,240
We were friends.
2033
01:22:49,274 --> 01:22:51,967
You're killing my friends.
2034
01:22:52,001 --> 01:22:54,279
We even have fight competition.
2035
01:22:54,314 --> 01:22:58,628
[sobs] And this is
how you repay me?
2036
01:22:58,663 --> 01:22:59,940
I'mma kill this motherfucker.
2037
01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:00,734
Dutch!
2038
01:23:00,768 --> 01:23:01,700
Dutch, don't!
2039
01:23:01,735 --> 01:23:03,081
Don't, the feds
might be watching.
2040
01:23:03,116 --> 01:23:04,634
I don't give a
fuck about the feds.
2041
01:23:04,669 --> 01:23:05,773
He killed one of our own.
2042
01:23:05,808 --> 01:23:07,465
And it's an eye for an
eye in this shelter.
2043
01:23:07,499 --> 01:23:09,156
- Stop!
- Out of the way, Magic Marty.
2044
01:23:09,191 --> 01:23:10,192
Don't!
Don't!
2045
01:23:10,226 --> 01:23:12,090
[fist thuds]
2046
01:23:17,371 --> 01:23:18,855
Damn, this is some
heavy shit, man.
2047
01:23:18,890 --> 01:23:19,684
It is stanky shit.
2048
01:23:19,718 --> 01:23:20,754
You want to roll it?
2049
01:23:20,788 --> 01:23:22,307
Where the hell did
you get this stuff?
2050
01:23:22,342 --> 01:23:24,102
I can't even roll anymore.
2051
01:23:24,137 --> 01:23:25,000
Yes.
2052
01:23:25,034 --> 01:23:26,208
Hola.
2053
01:23:26,242 --> 01:23:27,381
Hola, amigo.
2054
01:23:27,416 --> 01:23:28,727
Oh, what's up, Stumpy?
2055
01:23:28,762 --> 01:23:29,970
Who you calling Stumpy?
2056
01:23:30,005 --> 01:23:31,144
I mean, you know, you--
2057
01:23:31,178 --> 01:23:33,629
You guys gotta stop
smoking this dirt weed--
2058
01:23:33,663 --> 01:23:34,871
Oh, this is the shit.
2059
01:23:34,906 --> 01:23:37,426
--and try this new strain
of the devil's lettuce.
2060
01:23:37,460 --> 01:23:38,737
I don't know.
2061
01:23:38,772 --> 01:23:40,670
I've been smoking the same
stuff since grade school.
2062
01:23:40,705 --> 01:23:41,740
And you know, it's--
2063
01:23:41,775 --> 01:23:43,811
Fuck that noise.
2064
01:23:43,846 --> 01:23:46,573
This new shit will
give you a full body
2065
01:23:46,607 --> 01:23:49,507
high for 24 hours or more.
2066
01:23:49,541 --> 01:23:50,439
No seeds and stems?
2067
01:23:50,473 --> 01:23:51,509
They both for me?
2068
01:23:51,543 --> 01:23:52,958
Yeah, you can have
as much as you want.
2069
01:23:52,993 --> 01:23:54,305
Wow!
2070
01:23:54,339 --> 01:23:56,548
Oh my god, well, you drive a
hard bargain, medicine man.
2071
01:23:56,583 --> 01:24:00,725
But, well, all right,
give us a taste.
2072
01:24:00,759 --> 01:24:01,691
You want to hit this.
2073
01:24:01,726 --> 01:24:02,589
I'm all good, baby.
2074
01:24:02,623 --> 01:24:03,452
OK.
2075
01:24:03,486 --> 01:24:04,867
Damn thing just went out.
2076
01:24:04,901 --> 01:24:06,213
What's that, a dildo?
2077
01:24:06,248 --> 01:24:07,111
Give me this shit.
2078
01:24:07,145 --> 01:24:07,904
Dildo!
2079
01:24:07,939 --> 01:24:09,320
[laughs]
- That's small.
2080
01:24:09,354 --> 01:24:11,115
I don't know what the
fuck you do with this.
2081
01:24:11,149 --> 01:24:12,978
Oh my god, you're a wizard.
2082
01:24:13,013 --> 01:24:14,187
How'd you do that?
2083
01:24:14,221 --> 01:24:16,672
[coughing]
2084
01:24:19,192 --> 01:24:21,677
[gagging]
2085
01:24:25,681 --> 01:24:28,684
Didn't anyone teach
you that smoking kills?
2086
01:24:36,036 --> 01:24:37,417
Is this guy doing something?
2087
01:24:37,451 --> 01:24:39,143
You're in the wrong
spot, I think, dude.
2088
01:24:39,177 --> 01:24:40,592
Like, you need to
go back over there.
2089
01:24:40,627 --> 01:24:41,869
You ordered a birthday clown?
2090
01:24:41,904 --> 01:24:43,078
Yeah, I don't know, right?
2091
01:24:43,112 --> 01:24:44,458
I mean, like, you
should be going
2092
01:24:44,493 --> 01:24:45,873
back to makeup or something.
2093
01:24:45,908 --> 01:24:46,840
Makeup?
2094
01:24:46,874 --> 01:24:48,566
I just came from makeup.
2095
01:24:48,600 --> 01:24:49,912
[laughs]
2096
01:24:49,946 --> 01:24:52,363
Get your hands off me.
2097
01:24:52,397 --> 01:24:54,158
What the hell
is going on here?
2098
01:24:54,192 --> 01:24:57,506
All right, I need you to
get the hell out of here.
2099
01:24:57,540 --> 01:25:00,888
Hey, check his pulse.
2100
01:25:00,923 --> 01:25:02,166
Oh, it's fine.
2101
01:25:02,200 --> 01:25:03,615
I used to be a
nurse on a TV show.
2102
01:25:03,650 --> 01:25:05,514
Hey, brother, I need you to
calm the hell down, all right?
2103
01:25:05,548 --> 01:25:06,584
This is horseshit.
2104
01:25:06,618 --> 01:25:08,344
Who are you?
2105
01:25:08,379 --> 01:25:11,175
Hey, um, he has no pulse.
2106
01:25:11,209 --> 01:25:11,968
Fucking run!
2107
01:25:12,003 --> 01:25:13,729
[screaming]
2108
01:25:15,386 --> 01:25:18,458
This board is pure evil.
2109
01:25:18,492 --> 01:25:19,286
Yeah.
2110
01:25:19,321 --> 01:25:20,391
You know what I think?
2111
01:25:20,425 --> 01:25:23,428
I think it's time
for trial by fire.
2112
01:25:23,463 --> 01:25:24,981
That's the only way.
2113
01:25:25,016 --> 01:25:26,638
What's fire going to do to it?
2114
01:25:26,673 --> 01:25:28,847
Once the flames
hit this object,
2115
01:25:28,882 --> 01:25:31,816
the spirits will
disappear into dust.
2116
01:25:31,850 --> 01:25:34,198
Fetch me the gasoline.
2117
01:25:34,232 --> 01:25:35,509
Not this one.
2118
01:25:35,544 --> 01:25:37,511
That board is one of a kind.
2119
01:25:37,546 --> 01:25:39,962
And it belongs to my son.
2120
01:25:39,996 --> 01:25:42,723
It's been forged with
the blood and tears
2121
01:25:42,758 --> 01:25:45,485
of thousands of lost souls.
2122
01:25:45,519 --> 01:25:47,072
Back off, demon punk!
2123
01:25:47,107 --> 01:25:48,729
I hold all the cards now.
2124
01:25:48,764 --> 01:25:51,215
One flick of this lighter--
2125
01:25:51,249 --> 01:25:52,181
This lighter.
2126
01:25:52,216 --> 01:25:54,079
--and this thing goes poof.
2127
01:25:54,114 --> 01:25:57,428
[howls] It's a
full moon tonight.
2128
01:25:57,462 --> 01:25:59,292
Do you like to dance?
2129
01:25:59,326 --> 01:26:02,398
Sorry, toots, I'm not
in the mood for dancing.
2130
01:26:02,433 --> 01:26:04,366
I've got two left
feet and this earth
2131
01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:05,884
food doesn't agree with me.
2132
01:26:05,919 --> 01:26:08,542
[retching]
2133
01:26:11,476 --> 01:26:14,341
[worms plopping]
2134
01:26:21,141 --> 01:26:22,936
You sick son of a bitch.
2135
01:26:22,970 --> 01:26:25,214
Did you really think you were
gonna get away with this?
2136
01:26:25,249 --> 01:26:28,079
Check his pockets
for something sharp.
2137
01:26:28,113 --> 01:26:30,737
He might think he can get away.
2138
01:26:30,771 --> 01:26:33,567
You can't be too careful.
2139
01:26:33,602 --> 01:26:35,120
Hello, operator?
2140
01:26:35,155 --> 01:26:36,501
This is Nun Nell.
2141
01:26:36,536 --> 01:26:40,229
I think there's about to be
a very, very bad altercation.
2142
01:26:40,264 --> 01:26:41,989
Please send help, please.
2143
01:26:42,024 --> 01:26:44,371
There's not about to
be a bad altercation.
2144
01:26:44,406 --> 01:26:45,476
It's happening!
2145
01:26:45,510 --> 01:26:47,409
They're killing him!
2146
01:26:47,443 --> 01:26:50,101
And then they're gonna kill me.
2147
01:26:50,135 --> 01:26:53,000
Holy shit!
2148
01:26:53,035 --> 01:26:53,794
What?
2149
01:26:53,829 --> 01:26:55,244
Nobody cares about him.
2150
01:26:55,279 --> 01:26:56,659
Nobody's going
to kill your ass.
2151
01:26:56,694 --> 01:26:58,420
[overlapping chatter]
- Just shut the fuck up.
2152
01:26:58,454 --> 01:26:59,490
I was just--
2153
01:26:59,524 --> 01:27:01,561
Why does it always
have to be about you?
2154
01:27:01,595 --> 01:27:03,597
Enough of this shit.
2155
01:27:03,632 --> 01:27:06,531
Give me the board or
suffer the consequences.
2156
01:27:06,566 --> 01:27:07,360
Never!
2157
01:27:07,394 --> 01:27:08,464
John, pull!
2158
01:27:08,499 --> 01:27:09,948
I am!
2159
01:27:09,983 --> 01:27:11,985
He's so damn strong.
2160
01:27:12,019 --> 01:27:13,711
I found you on the street.
2161
01:27:13,745 --> 01:27:14,746
I brought you in.
2162
01:27:14,781 --> 01:27:16,161
We took care of you.
2163
01:27:16,196 --> 01:27:17,473
You got any last words?
2164
01:27:17,508 --> 01:27:19,475
Yeah?
2165
01:27:19,510 --> 01:27:20,269
I'm sorry.
2166
01:27:20,304 --> 01:27:21,201
[scoffs]
2167
01:27:21,236 --> 01:27:22,409
Too late for
that, motherfucker.
2168
01:27:22,444 --> 01:27:23,203
I'll say.
2169
01:27:23,238 --> 01:27:24,687
[knife slices]
2170
01:27:27,587 --> 01:27:29,105
Gasoline, please.
2171
01:27:29,140 --> 01:27:30,969
I'm trying.
2172
01:27:31,004 --> 01:27:34,663
[groans] Oh.
2173
01:27:34,697 --> 01:27:36,492
I have an awful feeling.
2174
01:27:36,527 --> 01:27:40,945
I can no longer feel my son's
presence on this planet.
2175
01:27:40,979 --> 01:27:41,739
Freeze frame!
2176
01:27:41,773 --> 01:27:43,534
[clapping]
2177
01:27:50,989 --> 01:27:53,440
[gagging]
2178
01:27:57,444 --> 01:27:58,687
What the fuck is this?
2179
01:27:58,721 --> 01:28:00,620
The next ice age?
2180
01:28:00,654 --> 01:28:03,243
It's no fun when they
can't fight back.
2181
01:28:03,278 --> 01:28:05,659
[screams]
2182
01:28:05,694 --> 01:28:09,145
[dramatic music]
2183
01:28:26,784 --> 01:28:28,889
Chuckles?
2184
01:28:28,924 --> 01:28:30,546
Chuckles, where
art thou, Chuckles?
2185
01:28:33,618 --> 01:28:36,000
Dark Lord, why
is everyone frozen?
2186
01:28:36,034 --> 01:28:37,864
Are you daft?
2187
01:28:37,898 --> 01:28:39,935
Obviously, I froze
them so we could
2188
01:28:39,969 --> 01:28:42,627
slip away without being seen.
2189
01:28:42,662 --> 01:28:46,700
And what did I tell you about
that stupid clown makeup?
2190
01:28:46,735 --> 01:28:49,772
Those juggling freaks
scare the crap out of me.
2191
01:28:49,807 --> 01:28:50,980
I'm sorry.
2192
01:28:51,015 --> 01:28:52,706
Once I killed the
makeup girl, I just
2193
01:28:52,741 --> 01:28:54,639
got the itch to do it again.
2194
01:28:54,674 --> 01:28:57,090
When we get home,
you're grounded.
2195
01:28:57,124 --> 01:28:59,748
At least you finally
found the skateboard, sire.
2196
01:28:59,782 --> 01:29:02,233
Yes, but at what cost?
2197
01:29:02,267 --> 01:29:05,409
My son is dead.
2198
01:29:05,443 --> 01:29:07,687
Come on, boys, let's go home.
2199
01:29:15,557 --> 01:29:17,006
- Hey, how'd I look?
- You looked great.
2200
01:29:17,041 --> 01:29:18,249
- [laughs] Take a selfie.
- Yeah?
2201
01:29:18,283 --> 01:29:19,112
- Take a selfie.
- Great idea.
2202
01:29:19,146 --> 01:29:19,871
Take a picture.
Yeah, you ready?
2203
01:29:19,906 --> 01:29:21,494
OK, here we go.
2204
01:29:21,528 --> 01:29:22,287
Police.
2205
01:29:22,322 --> 01:29:23,599
Uh-oh.
2206
01:29:23,634 --> 01:29:25,463
What do we have going on here?
2207
01:29:25,498 --> 01:29:28,811
I did it, I did it,
I did it, I did it.
2208
01:29:28,846 --> 01:29:30,641
I mean, we did it.
2209
01:29:30,675 --> 01:29:31,814
Man, you ain't did shit.
2210
01:29:31,849 --> 01:29:32,815
We did it.
- Yeah.
2211
01:29:32,850 --> 01:29:34,438
I'm the one that
caught the motherfucker.
2212
01:29:34,472 --> 01:29:35,680
Well, we both caught him.
- Yeah.
2213
01:29:35,715 --> 01:29:36,854
But I'm the one
that stabbed him.
2214
01:29:36,888 --> 01:29:38,234
Yeah.
2215
01:29:38,269 --> 01:29:39,477
And y'all can't do shit to
me because it's self-defense.
2216
01:29:39,512 --> 01:29:40,582
Uh-huh.
2217
01:29:40,616 --> 01:29:41,824
Officer Dev.
2218
01:29:41,859 --> 01:29:43,757
Sir, please drop your weapon.
2219
01:29:43,792 --> 01:29:44,724
Drop the weapon?
2220
01:29:44,758 --> 01:29:45,932
Motherfucker, the
knife's in him.
2221
01:29:45,966 --> 01:29:47,278
How am I gonna drop it?
2222
01:29:47,312 --> 01:29:49,729
[eerie dance music]
2223
01:29:49,763 --> 01:29:51,247
[clears throat]
2224
01:29:59,635 --> 01:30:02,914
Who told you fucking
creeps that you
2225
01:30:02,949 --> 01:30:07,471
could throw a party while the
Devil Daddy was out of town?
2226
01:30:07,505 --> 01:30:09,093
Did I sanction this?
2227
01:30:11,889 --> 01:30:14,374
It's OK.
2228
01:30:14,409 --> 01:30:15,168
It's OK.
2229
01:30:15,202 --> 01:30:16,583
I'm generous.
2230
01:30:16,618 --> 01:30:18,585
I'm in a good mood.
2231
01:30:18,620 --> 01:30:19,586
Yeah.
2232
01:30:19,621 --> 01:30:26,421
12 years hard labor
for all of you.
2233
01:30:26,455 --> 01:30:27,905
Get the fuck out of my sight!
2234
01:30:30,770 --> 01:30:31,564
Now!
2235
01:30:37,570 --> 01:30:41,056
[dramatic music]
2236
01:30:47,027 --> 01:30:49,029
[board cracks]
2237
01:30:58,522 --> 01:31:00,489
[sloshing]
2238
01:31:04,010 --> 01:31:06,978
[board thudding]
2239
01:31:16,160 --> 01:31:16,954
Fuck!
2240
01:31:18,990 --> 01:31:19,784
Fuck!
2241
01:31:22,615 --> 01:31:25,031
Kurt!
2242
01:31:25,065 --> 01:31:26,860
Kurt!
2243
01:31:26,895 --> 01:31:27,689
Ruby!
2244
01:31:32,003 --> 01:31:33,488
Fuck!
2245
01:31:33,522 --> 01:31:36,214
[upbeat punk music]
2246
01:31:37,008 --> 01:31:38,251
Dr. Adrian Low.
2247
01:31:38,285 --> 01:31:40,943
How can I help
my favorite client?
2248
01:31:40,978 --> 01:31:42,566
I need some advice.
2249
01:31:42,600 --> 01:31:45,707
If you don't pay my fee, I
can't keep you as a client.
2250
01:31:45,741 --> 01:31:48,986
The bad vibes are
racing back, Doc.
2251
01:31:49,020 --> 01:31:53,024
I wish I was at home
chillin', smokin' grass.
2252
01:31:53,059 --> 01:31:54,405
You needed this job.
2253
01:31:54,439 --> 01:31:56,200
Playing video games
in your underwear
2254
01:31:56,234 --> 01:31:58,271
is no way to go through life.
2255
01:31:58,305 --> 01:31:59,893
It's worked for
me up till now, Doc.
2256
01:31:59,928 --> 01:32:01,170
I'll get you the money, Doc.
2257
01:32:01,205 --> 01:32:03,069
Please, don't drop me.
2258
01:32:03,103 --> 01:32:06,555
Look, don't call me back
until this film is finished.
2259
01:32:06,590 --> 01:32:09,351
Hello,
2260
01:32:09,385 --> 01:32:11,664
Hello, Hollywood
News Time Views,
2261
01:32:11,698 --> 01:32:13,562
big news in from Hollywood.
2262
01:32:13,597 --> 01:32:16,151
After a full 40-year
break, horror director
2263
01:32:16,185 --> 01:32:19,188
Jim Seamstress has returned
to make his new film,
2264
01:32:19,223 --> 01:32:20,845
Leather Teats 2.
2265
01:32:20,880 --> 01:32:23,676
Online reactions have been
coming in all day from viewers,
2266
01:32:23,710 --> 01:32:27,921
with everything from pure joy to
people excited for his return.
2267
01:32:27,956 --> 01:32:29,820
But there is also
extreme confusion,
2268
01:32:29,854 --> 01:32:31,787
as people are not
sure why we would want
2269
01:32:31,822 --> 01:32:33,755
another film in the series.
2270
01:32:33,789 --> 01:32:36,205
There are also a number of
people very upset and not
2271
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:38,173
happy at all with his return.
2272
01:32:38,207 --> 01:32:39,415
Now back to you.
2273
01:32:39,450 --> 01:32:41,383
No one is who you
think they are, people.
2274
01:32:41,417 --> 01:32:44,489
[burps] Don't trust anyone.
2275
01:32:44,524 --> 01:32:47,009
They could be the
devil undercover.
2276
01:32:47,044 --> 01:32:48,666
Independent movie sets--
2277
01:32:48,701 --> 01:32:50,012
not safe.
2278
01:32:50,047 --> 01:32:51,462
That's why I'm glad
my parents only
2279
01:32:51,496 --> 01:32:54,085
let me do online news for kids.
2280
01:32:54,120 --> 01:32:56,847
Do any of you
guys believe in this
2281
01:32:56,881 --> 01:32:58,331
skateboard I'm
hearing about that
2282
01:32:58,365 --> 01:33:00,609
actually can take you to hell?
2283
01:33:00,644 --> 01:33:02,024
Come on!
2284
01:33:02,059 --> 01:33:05,890
Back in the day, I auditioned
to be in the original
Leather
2285
01:33:05,925 --> 01:33:07,720
Teats
movie.
2286
01:33:07,754 --> 01:33:10,412
I knew the director
from college.
2287
01:33:10,446 --> 01:33:13,380
Oh my god.
2288
01:33:13,415 --> 01:33:15,141
Oh, that smells horrible.
2289
01:33:18,420 --> 01:33:21,112
911, please come.
2290
01:33:21,147 --> 01:33:22,389
There's, like, dead bodies.
2291
01:33:22,424 --> 01:33:24,668
Like, I'm just walking around,
and then there's these,
2292
01:33:24,702 --> 01:33:27,360
like, organs and dead people.
2293
01:33:27,394 --> 01:33:29,742
What is this?
2294
01:33:29,776 --> 01:33:31,813
Please come as soon as possible.
2295
01:33:31,847 --> 01:33:34,988
Why did that movie
include skateboarding?
2296
01:33:35,023 --> 01:33:37,094
You don't board in the desert.
2297
01:33:37,128 --> 01:33:38,267
It's sandy.
2298
01:33:38,302 --> 01:33:41,305
My dad and I are going
to watch
Leather Teats.
2299
01:33:41,339 --> 01:33:42,547
That's right, folks.
2300
01:33:42,582 --> 01:33:45,654
I'm a cool dad, so
don't give me any shit.
2301
01:33:45,689 --> 01:33:48,312
Yeah, he lets me
watch R-rated movies.
2302
01:33:48,346 --> 01:33:50,901
The devil comes
back to Earth to find
2303
01:33:50,935 --> 01:33:55,181
his son and his missing board.
2304
01:33:55,215 --> 01:33:58,702
What is the plot to a
Shawn C. Phillips film?
2305
01:33:58,736 --> 01:34:01,049
Horror films were
great in the past.
2306
01:34:01,083 --> 01:34:05,156
But
Leather Teats
was
never, never a good film.
2307
01:34:05,191 --> 01:34:07,262
What does a over
70-year-old man know
2308
01:34:07,296 --> 01:34:08,988
about making a horror film?
2309
01:34:09,022 --> 01:34:10,679
Next week, we are
going to be having
2310
01:34:10,714 --> 01:34:13,475
one of the surviving
producers of
Leather Teats
2311
01:34:13,509 --> 01:34:15,477
to get his side of the story.
2312
01:34:15,511 --> 01:34:17,686
A movie called
Leather Teats?
2313
01:34:17,721 --> 01:34:20,516
Never again will I be
made a viral moment.
2314
01:34:20,551 --> 01:34:24,486
Those people that own
that shelter, they are not
2315
01:34:24,520 --> 01:34:25,867
who you think.
2316
01:34:25,901 --> 01:34:27,316
We were always friends.
2317
01:34:27,351 --> 01:34:29,111
We always did
everything together.
2318
01:34:29,146 --> 01:34:32,563
[sobs] Ow, that burns.
2319
01:34:32,597 --> 01:34:35,083
Two people found
at the local park.
2320
01:34:35,117 --> 01:34:37,948
Is there any connection to
the recent string of murders?
2321
01:34:37,982 --> 01:34:41,468
I can't see Shawn Phillips
turning this story into a movie.
2322
01:34:41,503 --> 01:34:43,678
This story is just too much.
2323
01:34:43,712 --> 01:34:45,576
The devil comes back to life?
2324
01:34:45,610 --> 01:34:47,198
He looks like the
canned ham kid.
2325
01:34:47,233 --> 01:34:49,338
If I can get an interview
with one of those actors
2326
01:34:49,373 --> 01:34:52,100
that survived, one could dream.
2327
01:34:52,134 --> 01:34:54,723
Hey, Austin, you
did great earlier.
2328
01:34:54,758 --> 01:34:57,277
When that gorgeous mutant
stomped on your skull,
2329
01:34:57,312 --> 01:34:59,555
I actually believed your
brains turned to mush.
2330
01:34:59,590 --> 01:35:01,523
And not just because
you're a dope.
2331
01:35:01,557 --> 01:35:02,697
Appreciate that, man.
2332
01:35:02,731 --> 01:35:03,974
Sure.
2333
01:35:04,008 --> 01:35:06,045
I can't believe that old,
dusty fool Jim Seamstress
2334
01:35:06,079 --> 01:35:07,805
is back to making films again.
2335
01:35:07,840 --> 01:35:09,600
Low budget movies suck.
2336
01:35:09,634 --> 01:35:11,015
Bring on the superheroes.
2337
01:35:11,050 --> 01:35:16,400
I really will not be getting
to see
Leather Teats
part 2?
2338
01:35:16,434 --> 01:35:19,265
[sighs] God.
2339
01:35:19,299 --> 01:35:21,543
Sometimes good things do happen.
2340
01:35:21,577 --> 01:35:24,097
A murderer hiding
out in plain sight
2341
01:35:24,132 --> 01:35:26,030
at a local homeless shelter.
2342
01:35:26,065 --> 01:35:29,654
--sees that nobody realizes
that I'm an undercover mutant.
2343
01:35:29,689 --> 01:35:31,795
Excuse me, excuse me,
do you guys want waters?
2344
01:35:31,829 --> 01:35:32,727
Snacks?
2345
01:35:32,761 --> 01:35:34,004
Gabby, get the
fuck out of here.
2346
01:35:34,038 --> 01:35:34,832
Just selling.
2347
01:35:34,867 --> 01:35:35,937
Go, shit.
2348
01:35:35,971 --> 01:35:38,180
Nobody liked the
original
Leather Teats.
2349
01:35:38,215 --> 01:35:39,768
We didn't need a sequel.
2350
01:35:39,803 --> 01:35:43,530
I wish that I was
part of that film.
2351
01:35:43,565 --> 01:35:47,776
I know people died, but it
would have made me a star.
2352
01:35:47,811 --> 01:35:50,089
I can't believe that
I almost auditioned
2353
01:35:50,123 --> 01:35:53,748
to be part of that terrible
Leather Teats
movie.
2354
01:35:53,782 --> 01:35:56,647
Wow, Chad, just
look at those muscles.
2355
01:35:56,681 --> 01:35:58,718
You must do some heavy lifting.
2356
01:35:58,753 --> 01:36:00,237
Thanks for noticing.
2357
01:36:00,271 --> 01:36:01,859
I only lift my wood.
2358
01:36:01,894 --> 01:36:03,033
You should give it a try.
2359
01:36:03,067 --> 01:36:04,724
Who would watch
a movie like this?
2360
01:36:04,759 --> 01:36:06,381
You would have to be insane.
2361
01:36:06,415 --> 01:36:08,348
I wouldn't really want
a sequel to the film.
2362
01:36:08,383 --> 01:36:11,179
I mean, the original
was always a shit film.
2363
01:36:11,213 --> 01:36:15,217
Every fool in today's
day and age with a phone
2364
01:36:15,252 --> 01:36:19,256
thinks they are a director.
2365
01:36:19,290 --> 01:36:22,604
I was so hyped
for Jim's new film.
2366
01:36:22,638 --> 01:36:26,884
I hope it doesn't end up like
that lost Ernest pirate film.
2367
01:36:26,919 --> 01:36:29,438
I heard rumors that people saw
people vanish on a skateboard
2368
01:36:29,473 --> 01:36:30,715
and go straight to hell.
2369
01:36:30,750 --> 01:36:32,959
I was thinking about
picking up a skateboard again.
2370
01:36:32,994 --> 01:36:37,619
But no, I don't feel like
risking what can happen.
2371
01:36:37,653 --> 01:36:42,175
I'm glad I never wanted
to be cool like that.
2372
01:36:42,210 --> 01:36:43,694
Choo, choo.
2373
01:36:43,728 --> 01:36:46,697
[screaming]
2374
01:36:50,183 --> 01:36:51,495
Pancake Man.
2375
01:36:51,529 --> 01:36:54,981
I want to see
Leather
Teats
on the screen again.
2376
01:36:55,016 --> 01:36:57,121
If I was on a film
set, I'd kill all
2377
01:36:57,156 --> 01:36:59,020
those motherfuckers on there.
2378
01:36:59,054 --> 01:37:03,369
Nobody realizes that
I'm an undercover demon.
2379
01:37:03,403 --> 01:37:05,958
Would you guys believe that I
almost went into acting instead
2380
01:37:05,992 --> 01:37:07,718
of becoming a news anchor?
2381
01:37:07,752 --> 01:37:10,169
I'm so happy I
didn't go that route.
2382
01:37:10,203 --> 01:37:12,102
See, just like
I've been saying,
2383
01:37:12,136 --> 01:37:14,035
horror films bring out
the worst of people.
2384
01:37:14,069 --> 01:37:16,278
They are terrible.
2385
01:37:16,313 --> 01:37:19,350
You know, a hypnotist told
me one time that my goldfish
2386
01:37:19,385 --> 01:37:21,352
was in the afterlife.
2387
01:37:21,387 --> 01:37:24,631
And it wasn't even mad at me for
flushing him down the toilet.
2388
01:37:24,666 --> 01:37:25,978
Holy fuck!
2389
01:37:26,012 --> 01:37:28,808
They did melt. What the hell
went on in here last night?
2390
01:37:28,843 --> 01:37:30,810
People need to look
into the homeless shelter.
2391
01:37:30,845 --> 01:37:32,708
I think there's something
up with that place.
2392
01:37:36,057 --> 01:37:38,818
Who watches movies
like
Leather Teats?
2393
01:37:38,853 --> 01:37:42,235
You really have to
be nuts if you do.
2394
01:37:42,270 --> 01:37:44,686
Our news team will be on
location taking a closer
2395
01:37:44,720 --> 01:37:47,033
look at the area where all
of these unexplained murders
2396
01:37:47,068 --> 01:37:48,310
happened.
2397
01:37:48,345 --> 01:37:51,520
Would you believe they
wouldn't cast me in that film?
2398
01:37:51,555 --> 01:37:53,971
If I were there, this
wouldn't have happened.
2399
01:37:54,006 --> 01:37:55,870
I want to let you all
know in my next video,
2400
01:37:55,904 --> 01:37:57,526
I'll be at the location
of the murders.
2401
01:37:57,561 --> 01:38:00,322
I just can't wait to get out to
that abandoned ghost town, boys.
2402
01:38:00,357 --> 01:38:03,187
This was filmed on very
haunted and sacred grounds.
2403
01:38:03,222 --> 01:38:05,638
A lot of people were
killed in this location.
2404
01:38:05,672 --> 01:38:08,434
I'm so glad I didn't send my
audition to be in that film.
2405
01:38:08,468 --> 01:38:11,195
Instead of
Leatherface, the killer
2406
01:38:11,230 --> 01:38:14,612
wears a suit made out of boobs.
2407
01:38:14,647 --> 01:38:16,062
Hey, I'm skatin' here.
2408
01:38:16,097 --> 01:38:18,306
I'm skatin' here.
2409
01:38:18,340 --> 01:38:19,755
[growls]
2410
01:38:19,790 --> 01:38:21,654
[screams]
2411
01:38:21,688 --> 01:38:23,587
[roars]
2412
01:38:23,621 --> 01:38:26,314
As an indie filmmaker
myself with zero money,
2413
01:38:26,348 --> 01:38:28,316
I would never make one of those.
2414
01:38:28,350 --> 01:38:31,353
Don't mess with
evil skateboards.
2415
01:38:31,388 --> 01:38:34,460
Everything on that
set was so R-rated.
2416
01:38:34,494 --> 01:38:36,669
I wish I was old
enough to watch.
2417
01:38:36,703 --> 01:38:39,396
This entire thing
makes me think
2418
01:38:39,430 --> 01:38:42,778
about my own personal hell--
2419
01:38:42,813 --> 01:38:44,815
gym class.
2420
01:38:44,849 --> 01:38:47,956
Jeez Louise, the
goddamn Melvins!
2421
01:38:51,339 --> 01:38:52,133
Wow.
2422
01:38:52,167 --> 01:38:54,445
Crazy trip.
2423
01:38:54,480 --> 01:38:56,275
Lucky we're all alive.
2424
01:38:56,309 --> 01:38:59,347
Yeah, no doubt.
2425
01:38:59,381 --> 01:39:01,418
Uh, thank you for letting
me work here again
2426
01:39:01,452 --> 01:39:03,144
while Kane's busy.
2427
01:39:03,178 --> 01:39:05,008
I could really use his cash.
2428
01:39:05,042 --> 01:39:05,974
Yeah, man.
2429
01:39:06,009 --> 01:39:07,251
Plus, now you
don't have to steal
2430
01:39:07,286 --> 01:39:09,150
the skate wax to use as lube.
2431
01:39:09,184 --> 01:39:11,669
You get it for free like me.
2432
01:39:11,704 --> 01:39:13,844
Total win-win.
154309
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