Original subtitles

Hi...

Nice car.

- Why couldn't I come in? - Erik said no.

- Who's Erik? - My husband, now let's go.

- Why did you come around now? - To say goodbye.

- To say goodbye? - I'm leaving the country.

- Where are you going? - To New York.

"New York"...

You're just like our Mum.

When I really needed her, she wasn't there.

And now that I don't need her, she's breathing down my neck.

- How is she? - Fine...

Not that she would know.

She eats, shits, sleeps and talks. Then she does it all over again.

She never talks about you.

I think she's forgotten all about you.

You know, I've often missed you.

- Why didn't you come to see me? - I don't know.

Tell me about your life.

- I want to know. - I want to get out of the car.

- Tell me. I don't remember... - Let me out.

- Let me out. - I can't stop here.

- I'll let you out soon. - This isn't good...

- Where are we? I've never been here. - Yes, you have.

I'll turn in here and stop.

Remember this place?

Look.

I can't be around people who don't know everything about me.

Erik knows everything. Everything...

I haven't held anything back.

Not even about the time...

...Mum caught me out and sent me away.

Caught you out doing what?

When she caught me out...

Doing what?

I was with a guy.

Right...

We were making love.

I slapped him...

Put my hands around his throat and squeezed...

But it was just pretend, like we were playing.

I think Mum listened at the door.

I had music on full blast.

Mum flung the door open...

And I couldn't escape.

She was furious.

Didn't understand...

The guy I was with is the only person I've ever really loved.

He's the only one

that I've truly felt...

a sense of belonging with,

of being invincible and happy.

What happened to him?

He disappeared.

He didn't dare be happy.

Not in that way, at least.

- Didn't you try to find him? - I didn't have the courage to do it.

What if he feels the same way about you, that he lacks the courage too?

No... I doubt it.

If he's still alive, that is.

He's alive.

- But it's too late anyway. - Why?

He's going to New York.

You don't even remember...

Don't you remember my room?

My... pale blue room?

With the flowers... Red flowers.

- No. - You don't?

No.

I'd hurry home after school, and you'd be waiting.

Stop it.

- We knew when Mum would be home. - Stop it!

- We must have known it was wrong... - I don't want to hear this!

Thomas, I think you should take me home.

- Don't leave me. - Don't say that.

- You've got to help me. - Don't say that.

Don't! Stop it.

Stop it...

Oh...

I think I saw Erik in the window, I'd better be going.

- Where? - There...

I don't see anyone.

- Over there. - Yes, but there's no one there.

Yes, there is...

Maybe you're the only one who can see him?

Eva, wait! Let me hold you...

Eva, come here...

Please let me hold you one last time. Eva... Come here.

- Come here, Eva! - Go away.

Come here... Get in.

Come here...

- Go away. - Just one last time.

All right...

Anton, this is Thomas, Emil's dad.

Is Emil there? I need to talk to him.

Okay... Bye.

Move it, get the ball in play!

What kind of a kick-off was that?

You're too slow, one-two, one-two...

Get moving.

Go for it, Emil.

I don't want to see any bloody pansies!

Dig in!

- How's he doing? Scoring any goals? - Are you kidding? He's lousy.

He needs glasses, for God's sake.

- But he has a good time, right? - We don't play for fun.

I'm a professionally trained coach for juniors.

And we play serious soccer.

- I think he's pretty good. - What the...?

Yo, Nicklas, guard the fucking ball!

It's not your mum you're guarding!

So you think he's good? What the hell would you know?

For the past year you haven't gone to a single game, or to practice.

I haven't seen you, at any rate.

- Does he have friends on the team? - No, they bully him.

Because he wears cheap Adidas that trip him up.

Why haven't you bought him Nikes, like all the other parents?

You should be able to afford it.

Emil cries in the showers after practice.

- He does? - Come on, didn't you know that?

Emil sobs his eyes out like a goddamn sissy after practice,

and you're telling me you didn't know?

Listen, you are his dad, aren't you?

Look at those damn pussies.

What the hell are they up to...

What are you, strippers?

Get the ball moving!

For God's sake, pay attention, Lasse.

I'm sorry I didn't make it to Fatima's funeral.

Something came up...

- I had a relapse. - That's okay...

So I couldn't... make it.

- I want to apologise for that. - No problem.

- I wanted to go. - It's all right. Apology accepted.

She was so sweet... Fatima.

- So cheerful... - Thomas, it's all right.

- How's Pernilla holding up? - She's doing fine.

That driver, will he be convicted of manslaughter?

I certainly hope so.

At least if he happens to be a Malm� fan.

How are you doing?

Fine...

Like to talk?

Sometimes it's good to talk.

And not just hold it all back.

If there are things you need to get off your chest.

In any case, we'll beat the hell out of Malm� FF tomorrow.

And that's all that matters.

#I've travelled far and wide seen most everything

#But I'll never get enough of my team

#AIK, A-I-K...

- Christian... - Can't you hear it?

- Listen to the footballers. - Can't you hear...?

#Take me down to the stands

#There I'll die for AIK

#AIK, we'll fight for you!

#We're the Black Army, yes, that's who we are!

#And if you mess with us, we'll cut you down to size!

#We'll show Sweden, just how to pick a fight...

#And no one will get up, when we have shown our might!

Practice is over.

Emil! Emil...

What?

- Hello, Emil. - Hi.

- What are you doing here? - I had a few hours off...

You told me you weren't my dad.

- I didn't mean it. - Yes, you did.

You're full of shit!

Beat it! Jakob is a great dad, so go away!

Go!

Go away! You bastard...

I hate you!

Let me go!

Let me go!

I hate you!

Hello, Mother, it's Thomas. I'm coming to pick you up now.

The nurse said you won't be going to the swimming complex.

Something to do with a leaky roof.

Who am I? I'm Thomas.

Your son.

- Press that switch. - This one?

In the other direction...

Don't touch that, I'll get locked out.

I'm checking to see if I look pretty.

- Isn't this pretty? - I thought we'd take a spin.

- What's that? - A gift, it's for you.

For me? Thank you.

It's yours if you come along for a ride.

I love these...

- Where are we going? - Just for a drive.

- Where to? - Out into the wild blue yonder.

Of course, "out into the wild blue yonder"...

Why?

I want to say goodbye, Mother.

- Where are you going? - Far away.

- Have you packed clean clothes? - Yes.

- Your passport, money and all that? - Yes, every last thing.

- Why doesn't he ever visit me? - Who do you mean?

The little one...

Emil?

Who's Emil?

Forget it.

He was a lusty boy. Back then...

He was always sticking it into her.

- Know what I asked him? - No, tell me.

"Does it make you happy?" I said.

He really ought to visit me sometime.

- Do you mean Dad? - No.

He was useless, for heaven's sake.

- It's the little boy I mean. - Thomas?

Do you know him too?

A little.

He used to come around when he owed money...

Goodness, that was fast!

He always asked me for money. But you know what?

There will be no more of that. No more.

He'll have to make it on his own, without my help.

I tell everyone at the home that my son is a drunk.

He boozes it up and pisses away his life.

- He does? - Yes, indeed.

He's really made it big, hasn't he?

What a grand title: Drunk.

A drunk... That really does a mother proud.

- But you love him anyway, don't you? - No.

- Why should I? - Because you're his mother.

And he's your son, it's not like he can stop being that.

A mother loves her son no matter what, isn't that right?

Like hell she does. No way.

I told him that when he was a boy.

"I don't want to be your mother," I said. "I don't."

"I don't want you to have feelings for me."

"I want you to forget all about me."

- It was all because of a fuck. - Because of a fuck?

It's a relief to not be his mother anymore.

My, it's green here...

Well, then...

- Here we are. - Where?

- The beach. - I don't want to swim. I can't.

Don't worry, Mother.

Where is she?

Your mother?

She can hear me.

That's nice.

Then we won't have to go looking for her.

We won't be seeing each other again.

- We won't? - No.

- Why is that? - I'm going away.

- Where to? - Far away... New York.

- Where's that? - In America.

Right, "okey-doke"...

I want to die, Mother.

Well, so do I.

- How about it, shall we go? - Where to?

To New York.

Just as long as I don't have to go swimming...

You won't have to go swimming.

What are we waiting for?

Nothing.

It's beautiful, can you see that? Shall we go out for a while?

Would you like to sit down?

- Is this the end of it? - Yes.

- Promise? - Yes, I promise.

- Why is it so dark? - Because you're in New York.

- Is it all over now? - Yes.

Thomas?

Thomas...

I can show you a good time.

Four hundred for a blowjob.

- Can't you go a little faster? - Yes.

Only I feel like driving for a while, and I want you to be quiet.

You're sitting by my side like no one else has ever done before.

I feel totally secure.

You have no expectations.

And I have no desires.

We'd make a nice couple.

Me talking all the time...

Just talking and talking.

While you sleep.

We could live like that for years and years.

Happier than most people.

I could never be happy.

Why not?

Because I've screwed up too often.

Tell me about it.

Is it a boy or a girl?

A boy, I think.

I can tell by the way he kicks me in the stomach.

I don't know if I'll keep him, though.

I was going to have an abortion, only it was too late.

- He doesn't deserve a mum like me. - Why do you say that?

- How could I ever protect my kid? - You've got to try.

- I can't do it. - You've got to try. Keep the baby.

Don't get rid of him. You've got to make the effort.

I think you'd be a good mother.

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm not.

Do you have kids?

- Yes... no. - Do you, or don't you?

I do, I had a son.

I lost him.

I wasn't worthy of being his father.

- What you mean, worthy? - I wasn't worthy.

- Better a bad dad than no dad. - I don't know about that.

- That's what I think. - That's your opinion...

I'm sure he misses you a lot.

You're sure of that? Well, good for you.

- Not so good for you, though. - So what makes you so wise?

Did you read that in a ladies' magazine?

Or some "psychology for beginner's" book?

Is it too hard to understand

that I might be happier without children?

Is that too much for you to understand?

The concept is too bloody complex for a little whore like you.

You don't know what you're talking about.

Who cares?

- Right... - Are we going to do this?

No, wait...

I said wait.

What's your name?

Desir�.

Are you in debt?

What do you think?

- How much do you owe? - That's none of your business.

I want to give you the money. How much do you need?

- What do you want me to do? - Shoot me.

No, I'm not into that sort of thing.

- Stay here. - I want to get out.

- Let me out. - I didn't mean to scare you.

I'm not going to hurt you.

Promise me you'll stay.

- If you unlock the door... - If you promise to stay, I will.

Why do you want me to shoot you?

A dead man hurts less people than a live one does.

Wouldn't you say that's a pretty good reason?

How is your son going to make it without a dad?

Your death might destroy him.

All you need to do is go to him and kiss him goodnight.

Tell him you love him, that you want to make things right.

I don't have the strength to make things right.

I should be the one to commit suicide.

My life is a mess.

What do you have to be miserable about?

I'll write a note saying that I did it.

That I pulled the trigger.

It won't work.

Of course it will. We'll drive over to a cash machine.

We'll clean out my account.

Then we'll come back here.

And you'll shoot me.

I need your help.

My finger will be on the trigger.

You'll put your finger over it.

And all you have to do is squeeze.

You can make a fresh start.

I could never make a fresh start if I shot you.