Original subtitles

Waghmare... - Shame! Shame!

Shut down the police station

Shame on the policemen

Sir, the crowd is growing

Drive them away

Shut the doors. - How can we shut the doors

This is a police station. - Yes, that's the big problem

Doors of a police station can't be closed. What to do now?

They have a point, since you got posted to this police station...

...there's been a spurt in kidnappings.

You mean, I have a hand in this?

No sir, but the law is supposed to know everything. Why don't you say...

who's behind the kidnappings? - Your father

What! - No, my daddy perhaps. Look...

it's a crisis and we got to solve it. - Indeed

But I've no clue about who's behind these kidnappings

You're back? - What are you Jassi, a wrestler?

Every time I try to get close to you, you give me a flooring

You keep dreaming 24 hours of how to finger your wife...

...I keep you floored

Then how about you on top of me, that'd be fun

For thinking that you're a Dharmendra, I'll show you, just you wait.

What are you up to? - Where's the broom?

You won't find it

Why? - I hid it

Where's the stick? - You won't find it

I hid it where you won't find it

Will you force yourself upon me? - I shall

If you won't give in, then I will.

Strange, the ways of a man with his wife

Let go of me

Jassi, give me a yoghurt shake

Must you grab me whenever and wherever...

...you won't even let me breathe in peace

Cool

The maid

Groping the maid, in front of you?

But maybe, when you aren't around? - Shut up

Lady, I want my salary

Of course, I'll give it to you, why not, when do you want it?

Right now, or when you're leaving?

You settle with her later. First, collect the rent from the twosome

Okay, later. - Pronto

Say that

How many...

men...

there were? Mind-blowing! How many men were there

More?

Turban... beard... downstairs...

you mean the uncle downstairs, yes, we call him chief

Two... men... were there. Chief, there were two men Mind-blowing

Ahead?

What? Ok!

Yes, say that

What happened? Is it tough?

Give me something, man

Beast... dog... cat... buffalo... elephant... cow?

Pig, hippopotamus, giraffe ? Which beast is it?

Shut up, just shut up?

Forget it; now start again?

Piss? After 3 months of trying to watch this flick...

you want to go pissing now? No, it's something else?

Chop it off? And afterwards, piss? What... no?

Pissing, chopping, any connection?

Right, no connection

But explain it properly

Forget it, start again

Piss... chop that?

Pi and ss

Forget the rest

Take pi

Pi... then?

Lady, yes

And marry?

Couple... husband-wife, wife-husband?

At the wedding? Bride and groom... groom?

Groom it is

Groom? No, the previous, Pi?

Pi and groom

Pig!

Son

Son of a pig. Mind-blowing!

What's next?

Sons of pigs, there were only 2 of them...

...and you were a threesome, still you ran

You are a twosome

Some twosome you are, but I don't run...

...I collect the rent, then I go, get it?

I didn't get a word, what did he say?

House... money... 3000, rent? I'll handle this

Uncle Happy... happy in name but you're never happy

But no one will pay 3000 for this house...

...tell him, but you can't, can you?

1500, at the most. - Mind your end of the business

Look at the water seepage up there. - You expected whisky for 3000?

Hey, he said what?

And look at that view

Open the window and take in that old man, coughing forever

Stop talking nonsense

Watching him makes me imagine, how quickly I might be dead

I don't want to hear anything, I want my rent, 3000, all of it

If you can't pay, clear out. I'll find any number of tenants

I don't run a charity

What?

Pay me in cash, not sign language

How much is it?

500... thrice?

Only fifteen hundred? Where's the other 1500?

Happy uncle, instead of your 1500, a new box

Another box?

You'll enjoy, strawberry flavor

As if it's a box of strawberry ice cream that you're giving me

I don't want condoms. Better explain to him, you mutt...

I don't want boxes, I want cash, 3000

Box... doesn't want... cash?

Shame on you, Happy uncle

Men without wives appreciate it's importance...

the significance of which is lost on married men of your ilk

You know,

we've no cash and badly off, so, please make use of this

I'm tired of the use of it,

a kilo and a half, if I lose a month, how long can I keep up the use?

Next month, I want full rent, get it?

I swear on your mother, next month...

we'll pay the full amount. - Don't involve my mother, next month...

I want full rent, get it? - It's just a little problem

Next month, we'll pay 3000. - Only you have problems and I haven't?

Next month, full rent! - Please try to understand...

What's it man?

Damn... he... he's saying the same thing?

He's saying the same thing? You're saying the same thing?

Same thing, all along, what else? - Sorry uncle

Deaf mute morons, for months... - Yes next month, for sure

Why didn't you tell that before?

Sure, even if you said, how would I hear?

Good God! Another box? - What to do?

Just take a look...

there's more in here than the company stocks

What am I to do with it all? Make Christmas gifts to neighbors?

What's it Mummy?

Shut up and get back to your homework

Why give to neighbors, I'm still here, I'll use up all of it

By God Jassi, if you're with me, we'll create a world record in a week

Shut up, you're useless. I've had enough of you

Now I'll call Dipak. - Don't you dare! I'll slap you

You married me, now you want Dipak? - Control your brain

Dipak will be the new paying guest, he'll move in with the twosome

And he'll pay half the rent. - Really? But who is this Dipak?

Now get off, quick

Move

Are you blind, can't you see?

Forgive me, an impulse from behind propelled me forward to you

Have I hurt you somewhere?

Not your hands upon me

Not that I can get anything else up on you

What! - My mistake

Let's embrace and I'll say sorry

Insolent idiot

She's gone? She too is gone, I can't impress girls

It's a man. - What are you up to, mister?

That's a cultured voice. Can you tell me where Jassi Villa is?

Two hundred feet.

Mister, two hundred feet in this direction

Thanks. - Strange sort

Two... three... four... five

Forty, forty one, forty two, forty three

44... 45...

47... 48...

My bag... which count was I on? I've slipped up

So this way... most likely... yes

60, 61, 62, 63, 64

65, 66, 67

Get up

Hello

Mister... hey mister...

Sorry, it's a watchman

Mirror-mirror on the wall, who's the bad-man of all?

Soprano, you are the one

Soprano, to end up like you, a villain, vile yet able,

from which institute can I procure a certificate to begin with

No institute rears the great villain, it happens to be a god-gift

One must possess the matrix of the mind,

greed, destruction, betrayal...

...hunger for power are elements that must be innate,

in one crazy DNA.

But to stay in power there are rules

To become a great villain, you have to follow rules

Rule number One,

unlike Mogambo, be not happy at every turn of phrase

Rule number Two, be not Shakal,

do not merely caress your bald pate...

...use also the brain that lies beneath

Rule number Three, like Gabbar...

...never go jaywalking in jungles chewing tobacco

Tobacco kills

I keep these three great villains...

...so I may learn from their mistakes

The villain of today ought to be international

It is the time for globalization

The villain should rake it in dollars, pounds, euros

Soprano, I too wish to become a bad-man, just like you

Idiot, unlike Ram Gopal Varma, I don't run a talent-launching factory

What message from the mafia?

Soprano, the mafia says that ever since...

Sushmita Sen, Priyanka Chopra and Aishwarya Rai turned into...

the misses of worlds and universes, the overseas demand has increased...

for Indian girls. Therefore...

our overseas distributor...

...Mr. Andy Lulla wishes for 50 more Indian beauties

To which end, he has sent an advance cheque of 100 million

Remember one thing Soprano, you are dealing with international mafia

Time is money for us

Up on the wall,

are portraits for you to see. But you see, I wish to exceed them all

I'm the greatest terror, biggest villain...

...the highest-hailed bad-man of India

So bad that history books of the future...

...will teach the kids a chapter upon me,

so they never turn bad like me.

Nothing is impossible for Soprano

Now presenting before you a parade of a sampling of Indian beauties

May I?

Oh, it's open?

Excuse me,

that watchman is lying out there bashed out of his senses

I generally do not hurt people, but he accosted me, so I did him in

Maybe I've been training too hard, but if you may please...

can you please direct me to this address?

I'm American

So that's why you don't talk much

Excuse me, surely someone around here is made-in-India?

Soprano, could he be a police stooge?

Will someone say something?

Have I wandered into a graveyard

Who are you? - Oh made-in-India! I'm blind

And I have lost my way, please, direct me to this address

What proof of your blindness? - You ask a blind man his witness?

Come, I'll lead you.

You know where I'm headed? - Yes

In the name of whoever your god be, I greet you

None whom you choose? - Mr. Doorman, you may choose to differ,

so I greet you in the name of all gods...

...you are free to choose what you like

Do I look like a doorman to you?

Goodness, are you the landlord?

Right choice, I'm he, who are you?

I'm Dipak

Oh, so you're Dipak, you are?

Yes. - Welcome

Jassi, look Dipak is here

I like to be paid on time, remember

Welcome, sit

Not that kind, I meant rent-on-time

Hi Dipak, so you came? - Hi, is that Jassi?

Yes, any problem finding this place?

Not at all, I just followed my nose

Namaste. - Sat Sri Akal, sit

I've told him to pay rent on time

Not on my wife's lap

Jassi, what's he to be, a tenant or an adopted son?

Fool! You can't tell between a sofa and my wife's lap?

You speak of sofa and wife? I make no difference between you and Jassi

What are you saying? - Well...

I'm blind

What!

I'm here in Mumbai for medical treatment

Damn

Oh serendipity! I'm given my third ape

Come on, I'll show you to your room-mates

Are you so delighted? - I'll show you

100 babies less

200 babies less

300 babies less

What... what's up?

Piss? Hurry up, we've lots to do

Don't forget to flush afterwards

Bloody shirker, goes pissing whenever there's work to be done

That's your bed, park your luggage

Be comfortable, tell me if there's anything you want

Happy uncle, how's life? - Perfectly all right

Who's this stylish guy? - New tenant

Kin? - My new tenant

A relative, is he a brother-in-law? - New tenant, he's putting up here

Nice, but supping up here? With us? But we normally eat out

Who's he? - He's stone deaf

He got stoned? Where? - Nowhere. His ears went on strike

This duffer is deaf. - Poor guy, hearing-impaired?

What did you say?

Whom is he addressing? - Say that again, I can read lips

Uncle, what did he say? - Explain this, my new tenant

Look brother, I am the new tenant

Oh... tenant

Uncle, this is no good. - And what you give me is good?

1500 in cash and the rest in second-hand, used condoms?

He's staying, you tell him that. Excuse me

Look brother, I am staying

Shut up... now talk

I'm talking, look at me... - Shut up

Yes talk. - I'm talking, what's your problem?

Yes, tell me

Oh... he stays here?

Some madcap! I'm saying so and then you clamp your hands on my mouth

He says what? - And then you expect me to speak?

He... said to me... madcap? Called me a madcap? Damn...

you call me mad, you swine

Let go of my neck, listen... - You, your uncle Happy, you're mad

Are you stoned or what? - Wears sunglasses indoors and I'm mad

Will you kill me, or what? I'm sending you to an asylum

You cur

Let go... help! - Come on

A four-armed Satan! - Step down, you coward

God! Am I among ghosts?

Help me! Hey Happy Singh!

He's scared of me. - I don't get scared

Happy Singh,

please, let me go

What happened?

Damn?

He?

Is blind?

He is blind?

You are blind?

You made me out rather soon

Why didn't you say so before? - I've been trying to, forever

Yes, you want to meet him? Oh yes, come on, meet my friend

So there's another? Is he dumb? - Come on

He's dumb. He's Harry the mutt. I'm Tom deaf and who are you?

Hello, hello, I'm Dipak and I'm blind. - What a dick! He makes up for

the Dick who was missing from Tom-Dick-n-Harry

Mind-blowing, nice to meet you. - You too, you too, hello

Dick's okay, but a little respect would make it sound fine.

Now I know why Happy called me an ape...

...one of the 3 apes who won't see, talk or hear

Don't sit! - What happened?

Our... you know... - What?

You'll ruin our balloons

We run an business in balloons, international, exporting

A business in balloons?

I see, marketing balloons

You're my life, my love,

my universe,

You're my life, my love,

my universe,

my days, nights, arise from you,

all conversations culminate in you

You're my lone companion,

you're my life, my love

Like an all-encompassing carnival...

...of all my dreams, fancies, memories...

you completely eclipse my life

In your being, I still revel in the emotions of my youth

Only in conjunction with you, climaxes the story of my existence

You're my life, my love,

my universe,

my days, nights, arise from you,

all conversations culminate in you

Hey move! - Who are you? Leave me!

Hey, who are you? Acting smart! Leave the girl! - Let go!

Inspector Vajpayee, you have saved countless girls from being raped,

you exposed countless sex scandals...

...so you were the best man for the case

But it's amazing, that girls are still being kidnapped...

...and you've not a clue

Sir, have no worries, soon I'll expose this racket

Let me mount this sting operation and all of India will be left watching

I've posted my most responsible officer...

...as an undercover on this operation

Who's it so early?

Yes... coming.

What've you brought so early?

Nothing but pomfret

Fresh stuff. - My stuff is always fresh,

would you like?

If you give, why won't I take?

How dare you,

you want me to scream for your wife?

Why do you keep screaming for my wife?

To do or not to do, is up to you. Go away, I don't want your pomfret

Then I'll go upstairs, he'll say yes for sure.

Even otherwise, I'd give it to him

How naughty, she sells it up there and then...

...she threatens to scream for my wife

I don't like your stuff

What happened?

Hello, this is Popatbhai

Hi Popatbhai, what news?

Send over 12 dozens

Sure, we'll send 12 dozens. No problem

Okay, I'm hanging up

All else fine, Popatbhai? How's the family and everyone?

Hung up?

He hung up?

Strange guy, disconnects without saying and you don't say either, why?

Sure, even if you said, how would I hear? Smart boy

Where is he?

I don't get a word of your crossword...

...and your friend won't understand my heart

So let's let it be, cute boy

Who's this golden girl?

Reading?

I don't want any today

Damn you

My love,

listen,

I have for you,

absolutely fresh pomfret

Once you get a taste of it,

you'll come asking again and again, give-me-more, give-me-more

You want?

You're telling me?

Wait till I tell you what

Curse your mother, some day I'll feed you my fish

Smell of pomfret

Has the fisherwoman come?

Hello, is anyone home? Is anyone telling me anything?

No one's telling anything, one's deaf, other's a mute

I'm stuck with cripples, oh forget it

Uncle... Tom uncle, Harry uncle, where are you? Come out, quick

Let me bathe in peace, as it is, it takes me twice the time. Who is it?

I'm Happy Singh's son. - Hello son

Where are Tom uncle, Harry uncle? - Uncle, today's my birthday

Really boy, you've become a big boy

Happy birthday, boy. - Thank you, uncle

Make sure you come to the party tonight

How can I refuse your invitation, I'll come for sure

Lands in a fix, what do I give the boy?

Think boy, think... idea

The party's happening right here

Bye Happy Singh, wonderful party, was great fun!

Hey Dipak? - Is that you Mr. Singh?

What are you doing here, with whatever's in your hands?

Balloons, for the kids. What better a gift for the kids?

Come on kids, quick, Dick uncle has colored balloons for you

He doesn't realize...

Come on kids, it's all for you. - What's he doing?

God, your mysteries are unending

Son, it's useless now

The government gives it away for free...

...go and pick up as many as you wish

Okay sir

Happy kids?

Happy, what's this! - Don't even talk about it, Jassi

This is so embarrassing, he blew them all up

It's the wrong use of it

Come here, have the lights gone out of your head as well?

Why are you angry Jassi, it's for the kids to play with

It's not for kids to play with, it's for their daddies to play with

Only for daddies? What kind of balloons Tom and Harry making?

Put me in an embarrassing spot, how am I concerned, balloons or condoms

Duffer! You know what you did, wasted 40 boxes of condoms

Guess how many births they could've prevented

Scoundrel, you've population on mind? Because of your rotten condoms...

do you know how much embarrassment I had to face?

Morons you don't know...

how a balloon isn't a condom? - Slowly, I can't make out

Don't hit me, don't! - What's he about, what?

He'll hit back?

We can't afford the rent and now, such a loss

Girl

Forget him

Hello, I am Dick. - That's a cute name

What say, how about making friends?

Why not, I would love to

I'm always open for new friends. - Me too, me too

You're such a sexy, strong, handsome Dick

This is going to be fun!

Your soft arms,

soft cheeks

I've softer parts. - Show me

You want to see?

So soft

How soft

What are you doing? Don't use force!

I'm not raping you, I'm making love

If your wife sees, she'll kill me.

Never killed a fly and she's gone out

That brings out the horse in you? Listen... don't stick like a leech

He pays me 1500 with a smile. - Rich man, poor man, we're different

So I'm different too, from someone who'll take a fifty

Give me something for a fifty, a kiss or a hug?

50... 100... 200... 500... 1000, enough is enough

Yes

Leave me, let me go

Bring her along

Take her away

Soprano Enterprises, what can I do for you?

Soprano, there's good news

Our foreign clients have immensely liked our Indian samples

Calls are coming in from Europe, America, London, China, Hungary

Everybody's hungry for Indian beauties...

...soon now, we're going to become...

the world's biggest wholesale dealers

We're going to be in demand, we might even float shares.

We can go corporate,

all over the world, in NASDAQ, in BSE, in CSE

Soprano is the king of the world

Thief

Thief! Where?

Put on the lights, lights! - What are you doing here?

Moonlighting at dawn and you guys showed me the stars

Let me watch

What's it?

You see... see? Even a blind man is interested

Who's that girl?

Right across lives my friend Avtar Singh

His niece, Celina

She's here to rejuvenate his hotel

What a view! - But this view costs... all of 3000

Tomorrow morning, I come to collect; boxes not acceptable, understand?

If you can't pay, pack and get lost. - What are you saying?

That rule isn't for you, good man. Have you heard, the rest of you?

Eleven am tomorrow. Until then, bye

Twosome, you understand? Eleven am tomorrow, or else...

I'm no Happy Singh

What did he say?

Any tensions? Tell me

We two?

Are screwed?

The landlord?

This house?

Wants cash? Why?

3000 in cash? When?

Tomorrow? Bless my mother ! And otherwise?

Pack?

And leave?

Where will we go?

We've no money, now what?

One minute

So much money?

Goodness! That much cash? Have you been stealing?

It's what I saved up for my eye surgery

Mind-blowing!

Take 3000, throw it in Happy Singh's face

Mind-blowing! Enough for us

Pay your rent

15-20,000! Enough for six months' rent

Let's stuff it down the landlord's throat

Besides, we've a fantastic item, what a view!

Why did you hit me?

What?

His eyes?

Gouge them?

Cut up?

Oh, surgery?

It's for your surgery?

But it doesn't mean more to me than the two of you

We can't use that

I can't bear to lose you. For the first time in my life...

in your company, I've taken to life

Friend, I understand nothing of what you said

But we can't take your money

We got to find some way else

There's another option

Look, it's of no use to me. Sell it, it's an antique

Money? - It'll fetch good money

Don't refuse me, please

Yes, tell me

Happy uncle? And that woman?

This is fun!

Now watch! Here's where we'll live, that's the view we'll watch

And all at Happy Singh's expense

Let me take a look too

Hang on

Yes, speaking

Speak

Moonlight Club? - Moonlight?

Moonlight Club?

Club?

I'll be there

Everybody now

Rock the dance floor

Snatched and taken

Snatched and taken

Your hunter's cruelty, my love...

Your hunter's cruelty, my love...

snatched, took my heart...

and drove me crazed into love

Your hunter's cruelty, my love...

snatched, took my heart...

and drove me crazed into love

Let me tell you girl, you're the one I've been waiting

Every day and night you're the one I've been praying

You're my angel

Come up to me, girl

You're my lady

You're the one who's playing on the run

Making me weak, with the look so strong

Making me right, when proving me wrong

Then we met, face to face

When two wayward souls met...

love went the way of sacrifice...

then the love-pangs rose and sleep was lost

Your hunter's cruelty, my love...

snatched, took my heart...

and drove me crazed into love

Tell me, baby tell me

Want you all the time, all the time, o'love

Which arrow pierced me, I don't know

All I remember is my heart melting in passion's flames

Then slowly the pain ravaged me

And slowly my heart lost its peace

Your hunter's duplicity, my love...

snatched, took my heart...

and drove me crazed into love

Your hunter's cruelty, my love...

snatched, took my heart...

and drove me crazed into love

This item looks nice, pick her up

Who are you guys, what are you doing here?

Get out, quick

You don't hear? Out of here, quick

Oh Soprano, your bad luck

Put that photo away, just say what you want

Happy Singh here

Mr. Happy Singh, I'm the grocer

Your tenant came shopping, the dumb one.

He's bought a shop load and he says...

you're footing the bill. - Rogue, scoundrel, bastard

Whom are you cursing?

Not you, I'm cursing your shopper. Let him have the stuff

I'll come and pay you, personally. Don't come home with the bill

You will? I needn't come asking?

The wife is a dictator, you know

Curse the mother... - What!

The one who bore you. - How dare you

No, I'm not cursing you

Put it all on Happy Singh's bill

What are you looking for ? Looking for more?

What's he trying to get across?

Boss, I got it. He's praising all five daughters of yours,

each one is better than the other. If you may let him have one,

he'll make do with her

You mutt! You want to make do with my daughter?

You mean you won't? Then what is the allusion to my daughters?

What else do you want?

What's there?

The 501-brand soap? The just say so

And you smart ass, he meant soap and you made out my daughters?

He's a shopper, not a Romeo

What a girl

How do I woo her?

Idea

On her way back jogging, she falls into this hole

Then I save her and I emerge a hero

Don't cling. - I'm tired

Where does she go jogging, I can't spot her

Hold on

The municipal guys leave gutters open

Had it not been for me, you would've fallen right in

And you'd become lame and blind

You're saved because of me, now say thanks to me - Thanks

Wait, I'll close the manhole

Yes, shut it, it's a trap for blind men like me

Have you shut it? - Yes

Good. - A bag of groceries?

Here? - Cereals and bread

Also chips. - That's dinner

We're partying tonight, run!

For guys with eyes, girls are easy anywhere

But someone like me has to do it indoors

Hello...

Anyone there?

What are you trying? - Sorry, uncle

Hello... - Tell me

So her dad is dying of tuberculosis

Uncle, would you happen to know me? I'm right across the street

Who doesn't know you? You made balloons...

...out of condoms for the kids at the party

Sorry uncle, bad mistake. I can't see

Actually I'm here in Mumbai looking for a cure for my lifeless eyes

I need... your support

Yes yes, why not. Come in. - Thank you, thank you uncle

Careful, the steps. Come in, son

Uncle, you are so kind

Stand here, one minute

Here you are, son. - Yes?

Two hundred rupees. - No uncle, you're getting me wrong

I don't need money, please. - Bravo!

A man ought to have so much self-esteem...

...one ought never to accept charity

Right sir. - You can do something for me

Sure! Anything for you, uncle

Good, now bend down

Bend down... why? If you won't bend...

how will I get on top of you? - On top of me?

Unless I get on top of you, how can I get knocking

Get knocking? - Yes

Uncle... - Son, for two long days...

I've been looking for someone in vain and now you come volunteering

I'm like a son to you! - That's just why son, bend down

Just stay down while I get done

Let me mount you, just stay down

Don't move, I'll be through, give me two minutes of knocking

Hurry up! - Here I come

Thank you son, I'm done

You didn't think of using a table or a chair

Two days ago, I tried using a chair and a table, both crashed

That's why I asked you to bend

Uncle, your work is done. Now my part of the deal, please

Your part of the deal? - Will you let me meet Celina?

Celina? Celina isn't at home. - Yes... what?

Much ado about nothing

How do I impress Celina enough to make her walk into my arms?

Celina!

For once, just let our eyes meet

Where is she gone?

I'm sure she never spotted me, else...

...no one can miss such a handsome boy

It's okay,

next time

Anybody home?

Everyone just died?

Hello

He's home alone

Watch... you and I...

are locked in a lonely room and the keys are lost

Cute kid

Smell of fish?

You? - I'm the one, am I not?

What for have you come here?

With a pomfret for you, you want? - I want none of it, go away

I'm not going away. - What did you say?

I... am not... going away

Then I'm going

Then I'm coming after you

What are you doing in the kitchen?

Hold on, let me do it for you. - Don't touch my eggs, go away

Why? You don't like me? - I can't get anything of what you say

Go away please, please leave. - Look, let me learn your lingo

You should learn my lingo. - What's all this signaling?

Duffer. - Go away, please

What are you up to? - Something else on your mind?

I don't like girls in traditional costumes, only girls in jeans

Jeans?

Then you should've said so

For your sake, I'll turn myself into a girl in jeans. Afterwards...

if you won't accept me, then I'll cut you up like fish

Soprano, you also know how to dance?

You are great

Not great

Greatest... greatest

Soprano, after all this dance practice...

...will you send us to contest Indian Idol?

Idiots

I'm trying to give you a hint, it's time...

...for the festival of nine nights...

the nine nights when girls pretend...

...to be dolled-up Karinas-Preetis-Ranis

Then they go dancing into the nights, unawares of the Soprano-men...

who'll be there, waiting for them; then in between the dances...

my men will kidnap them and bring them here

Then we'll dispatch them to foreign countries

Steps ahead... move it blind man. - Where? Up on the stage?

I want to dance. - Someone dance with me

What are you doing? - Step back

Watch your step

Don't push me

Don't push

I only want to dance

Why are you pushing me? - Let me dance

Will someone dance with me... someone, anyone...

He won't let me dance, who does he think he is

I'm going to complain

They invite us, then they insult us, what are the rules of this dance?

Come... just sit.

What are you trying? Get out. - Let's go

Yes, join the dance

Stand aside

Nice - Nice pairing

Now watch the show

Can't live a lonely life...

Can't live a lonely life...

without you my mate, I've no peace

Can't live a lonely life...

Everywhere...

your face,

your every memory comes alive,

coloring my passions,

darker than any earthly color

I give you my being, I give you my heart

Here's my story of me and you

My passions, prayers, all for you

Without my mate, I've no peace

This loneliness is unbearable

Mad, mad rushes of the heart,

what an overwhelming craving

But you don't know,

oh you won't know...

how heartbeats race

You're my life

I'm in love with you

In you, I lose myself

In you, I've found every joy

Without you my mate, I've no peace,

in loneliness, I can't bear to live

When my breath flows from you,

every anxious moment stretches like a season before me...

and my world is waiting for you, my heart pining in every beat

For you, I am waiting

For you, my passion waits

For you, my ecstasy waits

For you, my love waits

Without you my mate, I cannot rise to ecstasy

alone, I've no wish to crest the peak

alone, I've no wish to crest the peak

What happened?

Where's Celina?

Come on, quick... - Where's Celina gone?

Quick, come

Wait, I've to climb down steps

Hey two some, are you ditching me?

Hey guys, you can't do this to me.

Leave me!

Who are you?

You let go of Celina!

Where is Celina?

Fool! Take photos!

Hold this one

Slipped

Taking on a blind man?

No sparing you, now

Now you're dancing with Soprano, so stop wriggling and stand still

Take that scoundrel

Swine, elephant, hippopotamus! - All cowards

Many thanks to all of you, you saved my life, thank you

In thanking us, you are embarrassing us...

...As good neighbors, it's our duty

You are... my neighbors?

You don't know us? This is Tom, I'm Dick, he's Harry

We're right across the street

But I've never seen you. - We see you every day

He said something? He did?

He... watches her?

Blind fool, what can you watch?

He's blind, can see nothing; but I watch you every day...

when you're on the terrace, doing workouts. You look exotic

Just like a slice of the Moon

Then you watch me too? - He's speechless

By the way, I'm so glad to have met you, thank you so much

You too

Okay... - Bye

Lovely, guys. - Yes, and I'm inclined...

to present her before you as my wife

Said something again?

She?

Get lost, she's mine just you watch

Enough of this only-mine stuff. Let's all try our best to get her

Let the best man...

no, that's fair... no?

Vanished?

Now she's mine, for sure

Swing, swing

You are my prayer, my desire

In memories of fantasies...

you reign

You set my heart rocking

Swing to it, swing

It's a moment's chance, lost or found...

but I always find myself thinking of you,

how to stop myself, mate?

Untamed memories,

uncontrollable moments...

without you, no peace nowhere, mate

You've set my heart rocking

Swing to it, swing

None one but you in mind's universe, horizons, mate

You pervade my mindscape, my heart and being and body and soul, mate

You've set my heart rocking

Swing to it, swing

Dick boy...

I'm rather ashamed to speak your name

Look at your belly and mine... how can you see, let me explain

Your belly, flat like an expressway

Mine resembles an arching flyover, it only grows with more exercise

And the more the belly arches, the lesser is my wife's interest in me

That's why I go after maids, I'm not a pervert, I'm helpless

I say, you should hire a maid too, all ends will be served

Come off it Happy

Harry, what's the matter?

Tell me

A phone call? I'll take it

Try and express it properly

Oh drop it, you aren't Amitabh Bachchan in...

...Black nor I am Rani Mukherjee...

to understand your unspoken word. So forget it

You want me to explain? Yes, start

You... asleep? He was asleep

Died? - Who, Tom?

Up in a fire?

Down the drain?

What happened was, I was asleep

In sleep... a dream. He dreamt a dream

And it must've been about Celina? ...

...You've been dreaming about my wife?

One minute, let him speak

Who else was there in that dream with you?

He was? - Yes!

And? - The deaf guy too? Yes...

was I there?

Damn you

Anyway, what do you dream?

Someone got you... by the butt?

Someone who sways at hips?

Oh, the fisherwoman was there too?

Then?

Cap

Celina put a foolscap on you?

Celina was wearing a cap and sucking on a sugarcane?

Shut up, shut up, shut up,

shut up! Okay, come again. Don't get angry

A man in a cap, bearded. A bearded man wearing a cap

And what was he doing? Sucking a sugarcane?

The bearded guy wearing a cap was singing

A bearded guy in a cap, singing? Himesh Reshamiyya's!

What a dream! Of late, you're seeing multi-starrer dreams?

While the two of you keep dreaming, your mate will vamoose with Celina

Only if we let someone do vamoosing

Mr. Constable?

Police! Hands up!

The threesome made lots of trouble last night

The Inspector wants to see them right away, follow me

Sir, I've brought in all three. - Good

Thy are the ones. - Welcome

I am over here

So, the three heroes? - Yes

Look... over there...

What? - The younger generation...

should follow your example. Be seated...

...- The example is meant for youngsters,

not for you. - You were making a statement?

Just a slip of the tongue

We've no wish to join the police force

Doesn't ring? - It's ringing

That's what I'm saying

Doesn't ring

It's ringing

Not working?

Are you deaf?

The three of you put up a fight with those goons

Therefore, you have seen the goons

Now, tell our sketch artiste what the goons look like,

to enable him to draw their sketches so that we can get the gang quickly

You don't need sketches to get them...

...I'll show you the way to get to them

You will?

Blind man's show? - I may be blind

But I'm always going around with a camera, and you know what...

I'm always clicking away

What's he saying?

During the fight, I clicked photos from every angle

Where are the photos? - Inside the camera

Where's the camera? - In a room

Where's the room. - Inside the house

Where's the house? - Nearby

Wait for 15 minutes, I'll be back in an hour

I'll wait for 15 minutes, you'll be back in an hour?

I'll be shuttling back and forth. - What need?

I've twenty cars waiting outside, pick one, go and come back

Police cars never arrive anywhere in any nick of time

What did you say? - Excuse me, sir

Let's go

He returns with their photos and I nab the goons

And once I've nabbed them, I'll get a huge promotion

Thank you

Not mere photographs, it's my career...

in photographs

Those are their photos

Where are the photos of the goons?

Maybe... I took the wrong angles

I feel like changing every angle in your body

I feel like booking you...

on every possible charge,

from organized to petty crime

He said what?

Which I can't do, because I need you fro the sketches

Put them away, until the sketch-wallah arrives. Get out!

Why are you shouting? This is too much. We saw nothing, goodbye

No! Don't go away! Stay, please!

Why is he begging? - I'll beg at your feet, don't leave!

Stay, please...

Fix that bell. - I'll do anything, please stay

Wait, please

They're gone?

Soprano, those rascals have seen my...

...face. - Not only that. The threesome...

went to the police station. - If you say so,

we can ensure that the threesome is no more

Send your men, kill the bastards

Noble villains...

once again, wrong advice

The poor cripples that they are, a few words are enough to kill them

In this age of satellites, telephonic threats are enough

Hello, one second

Hello defective pieces

I get to hear that your software's are corrupt

You want me to crash your hard discs?

Who's it?

Very friendly with the police?

Mummy never told you that making friends with cops is no good?

You don't watch Bollywood films?

The police is in cohorts with the likes of us

Bloody stupid-idiot-nonsensical people, deaf-blind-mutes

you want to mess with me?

You want to take me on?

One second, one second... - Yes?

Ballad Split it?

Ball... lad? Get rid of lad, keep ball?

One second...

What was that? Karate?

Man who? Van Damme?

Bruce Lee Split Bruce Lee?

Dump Bruce, keep Lee, then?

That one? Ball? Lee?

Ball Lee... bully?

What, a bully?

You dog, you rogue, you bastard, you dare bully my friend?

If you've the guts, come out in the open

And I'll shove that phone down your throat

Me too. - Go ahead

You dog!

Soprano, they're talking code

In the underworld, they're connected, maybe more than us

I'll kill you like a dog! - Pass that to me

Put on your brakes

Swine! No, you're swine, you must be a fly

I am Ray More, I'll make you no-more

If you use foul language...

Shut up, Shut up, Shut up... - I'll screw you online

Shut up

Your parents made mistakes, you dogs

Your turn... no you mutt... give that back to me

Dog, coward, swine

Hold on, a second... what?

Hung up?

Scared? - Bloody scared

I'll hack them to pieces for every piece of foul language that they used

But I won't count the pieces

Mr. Grocer, I told you, don't come home, but if you insist,

don't raise your voice, my wife will throw me out

The boys bought the supplies, I didn't, how am I to blame?

And how am I to blame? You were telephoning me saying,

let them have it, let-them-have-it, imagine what the bill is like?

Hush, my wife will drive me out of my home

Hush? 11,470. That's the bill, so please pay up

11,470... over how many years? - Years? A month's bill

11,470 billed in a month? Do they eat or hog it?

Anything else?

More. What's the bill for the milk?

4,500. - Take that

4,500 worth of milk, do they bathe in milk?

What more? - Wait a minute

Mr. Khan, speak up. - I gave them 5,000 in cash

They're borrowing on my account? - Correct

Mr. Grocer, let's do it this way...

keep this 10,000. I'll see you later. - What good is 10,000?

Share the spoils, I'll see you later...

...- Otherwise, I'll have to come back

You have no faith in my word?

Tone down,

your wife might hear

He understands. Do come and settle - Sure

Let's go, I'll pay your share

Happy Singh, unless you fix these apes soon enough...

Give me the broom, you will break the bulb. Get down

Can't you work properly? Keep this aside

Bring the table here

This side.

You relax, uncle

Praise the Lord

Thank you, dear

You have set my restaurant going that was shut down for years

I'm elated, dear

Thank you. - My dream has also come true, uncle

My best wishes are always with you

Mr. Happy, is she here?

No, she isn't here yet. You've stood me up at the window since morning

For your dame, my maid will go away. I'm off

Go on. I'm going too

Where will you go? - Nothing to worry

I'm going to your wife, to show her a picture of your black deeds

The three of you are jerks. You guys have a picture...

in your pockets, and you are always blackmailing me

We're helpless. You are my eyes

With the help of your eyes, I see through my heart

I see what she is wearing, I see... she is here!

No. - I'm telling you, she is here

Fool. I can see. She is not here. You are blind, how can you be sure?

You are lying. I can smell her. She is here

You must get your nose treated along with your eyes

Who are you looking for? - You, of course

Ms Celina... you? At our humble abode?

I inaugurated my uncle's restaurant. I just came to offer you sweets

Cur! Swine!

This is not fair. They make you work so much that your hands are swollen

Do you do the dishes in the restaurant?

Fool. Here is her hand

I see. Congratulations again

Here you are. - Look...

I need something else

What? - Promise me that...

you will give it to me. - What? - A job

What a joke

What's wrong with him? - You guys are here?

Why do you leave me alone? I was waiting for you. Have sweets

What for? You got your eyesight back? - Eyesight won't make me so glad

I've got Celina

Know what? She gave me a job in her restaurant

He mentions Celina. What did you say?

... - I'll make good use of my blindness

I'll touch her here, there... I'll even pounce on her

Where is he touching? - Sorry. I mean...

I'll apologize to Celina and tell her that I'm blind. Yes!

Shut up! Explain, buddy. Tell me

Handicaps, you have wasted my time

My sweetheart is waiting for me, I must go

I only wanted to share the good news. Bye

Oh yes, if it has gone over Mr. Deaf's head...

then Mr. Dumb, explain to him slowly in your sign language. Okay?

Take your time... bye.

He called you dumb. Explain to me, what did he say?

Coca Cola for you, sir. - It's Orange, I asked for Coke - What?

Did he ask for Coke? - Who is it? Doesn't matter

I'm the barman. You go and clean the tables

What did he say?

Clean the tables? Hey blind bat! You clean the tables

We will clean Celina. - Harry, you too?

What are you guys doing here? - You said you'd touch Celina...

here, there... - I didn't

Now that we are here, we'll touch here, there...

Don't touch me! - We'll even apologize on your behalf

Now go on, clean the tables. - Pushing a blind man, eh?

Aren't you ashamed?

Don't you touch me! - Come on

Where are you going? - Celina belongs to me

I won't spare you! - She'll be in my arms

Damn you!

Don't touch me, jerks!

If you are a real man, take me on!

Don't touch me from behind!

Yes! Gotcha!

Over here, blind bat

Kidnapper! It's him! Get him

Harry, stone!

Why did you hit him?

Dandiya?

No connection Tell me

Him... dandiya... and?

Fight? The fight during dandiya? Is he the kidnapper?

Why didn't you tell me? - Morons! I've been telling you

He's the kidnapper I caught during the dandiya

He escaped. - My restaurant!

What? - Behind

My restaurant... - Please don't be angry, Ms Celina

The kidnapper who had come during the dandiya, he was here

Where is the kidnapper? - I was there, I caught him

Did you see him? - Yes, I saw him

Which means, he knows that you guys work here

We must go to the police station. Come on, boys

Careful

Mirror mirror on the wall

Who is the bad man of all? - Soprano

You are the worst. - Soprano!

Hear that?

The greatest villain hangs his head in shame today because of you

Two

Seven

Nineteen

Soprano's man gets nineteen stitches!

My well wishers, what'd you have done in my shoes?

I'd have wrung his neck right there

Mogambo would've sentenced him to death

I'd have given him to the crocodiles

My man...

should be shot

Gabbar, Mogambo, Shakal...

you know why you are losers?

Because you killed your own men and depleted your own powers

Soprano won't do that

Soprano will kill his enemy

I got it, Soprano

Bloody wastrels. They are back again. - Inspector sahib...

they will describe the kidnapper. - They will describe the kidnapper?

The blind, mute and deaf... will they describe the kidnapper?

The bell doesn't work. - It is working

Yes, it's not working

It is working. - Get it fixed, sir

All right, I'll get it fixed

Who will describe the kidnapper? - Sir, I will describe

The blind man will describe him, eh? You saw him, did you?

Yes... no, I didn't see him, but I felt him

I could smell him. The restaurant was full, there was chaos all around

Suddenly the short kidnapper came before me

And I held him tight! - Don't touch her

Sir, you won't believe, he was there even at the dandiya

I smelt him, I felt him. - Over here

Did anyone see his face? - Well...

Did anyone see his face? - They will tell you. They are my eyes

These two? This deaf man will talk, eh?

Deaf? - Stop

Why do they always threaten me? Tell me

What?

A man...

that man... caught

Short man... caught. Oh yes, he held on to the goon

His... face

I see. We need to describe him

That goon... on one condition, sir

What? - Don't gape. I understand

If Celina asks me...

I'll tell her. - Is he touching his sister-in-law?

He is touching her? Touching here there? Dammit

C'mon, hurry up. Where's that slink? I must fix him

Hurry up

Freak!

So the hero is humming here

There's no one in the restaurant either

You know what to do, don't you? - Yes

Go on. - Let's go. Tell me...

how do I look? - Beautiful

Gosh! - What happened?

Thanks. I'm off. - Let's watch it live

Celina!

What's happening?

At least touch me and explain

Sorry

You? - Yes

You said, you liked girls in jeans

Here I am in jeans. Tell me, how do I look?

How did you come here? - Your friends told me you are here

Friends? I see. I'll fix them later

Get this clear. I don't love you. - Why not?

Because I like Celina. And that's why we are working here. Get that?

Celina? I'll fix her and you as well

Bloody swine! Parasite

That slimy woman! I'll fix her

Where has Soprano sent us? To kill?

Or to clean the restaurant? Not a soul in sight

There! The two monkeys

This bomb will fix them for good

Help me down

Excuse me, waiter. - Yes?

Give me one pinacolada margoretti, on the rocks

What language is that? - The restaurant is closed. Come later

Okay, I'll come later

What?

Bloody dogs! Who sent her inside? - Raped!

What are you laughing for, blind bat? Did you see anything?

Don't try to placate me. I don't want your gift

What's that?

What?

That man... what happened? His gift?

I see. I'll give it to him. I'll come back and fix the two of you

Sure, go on

Hello, Soprano? I've planted the box so cleanly that...

let alone the three chaps, not even the wind will know about the bomb

You know, I've set the bomb to 30 seconds

After 30 seconds, there will be a blast, so enormous that...

it will rock even America... - You left your stuff behind, sir

People will forget 9/11. - You left your stuff behind

All the TV channels in the world will be showing only you

Shall I keep it in the car? - Bush will hire you to kill Osama

It's in the car. - You'll be the greatest villain

Start counting, Soprano. Five, four...

three, two... blast!

I like it. I like it!

Those three defective pieces turned out to be very brave. I like it

You went to blow them up and got yourself blown up instead. I like it

I like it. Soprano likes it

Hello, Mafia? Yes, Mafia

Your consignment will leave in few days

Hello, God

From angry young men to miserable mothers...

...everyone prayed for something

And You answered their prayers. For the first time, I seek something

God, please give me some girls. Please God, fill up my consignment

Please God, I'm pleading You

Give me some girls, God

I'm Bijlee, a fisherwoman. - So?

So, I've come to tell you that you are very beautiful

And what do they say? Yes, hot. You are very hot

You can find anyone. But there's only one for me. Tom

Look, Harry will suit you fine

As for Dipak, he's nice too

But please spare Tom. - Who are you talking about?

Damn! Tom Dick and Harry who work in your restaurant

Tom is mine. - What rubbish!

It's true. In your love, he left everything and joined your restaurant

He's been cleaning, sweeping and doing dishes. He's crazy for you

But I don't love him. - Really? Then go and tell them

So that they are exorcised of your love and I'll find my Tom

I'll leave now. You must do this job, it's urgent. Bye

You guys love me, eh?

Yes, of course. We are in love with you

Especially, me. A lot more than others

But we have no idea who you love. Tell us...

who is the fortunate one amongst us? - It's me

Tell me, baby. - Shut up

You ought to be ashamed of your actions. I'm trying to help you guys

How could you malign me? - But it's not our fault

You are so nice, so caring, that all of us fell for you

Actually, we joined the restaurant...

only to stay close to you

How easily you guys poured your heart out

You didn't even care to think that it could hurt me

I empathize with you guys, I don't love you

We are just friends. Understand?

As for the misgivings in your heart, chuck them out

One who messes with love, ruins himself

Your words make me feel that you've been betrayed in love

That's my personal problem. Understood?

Now that we are good friends...

you have to tell us about him

Your problem is our problem now

There was someone in my life whom I loved

Due to some misunderstandings, we parted ways

Just watch. We will dispel the misunderstandings in a trice

Tell us, where does he live?

I don't want to meet him, I don't want to face him either

Get another thing clear. I don't want to...

...hear anything about love here anymore

Understand?

What happened? Tell me

Good afternoon, sir. - Hey Celina

What news? You look disturbed?

I'm tired of this threesome. I gave them jobs at the hotel because...

I expected the kidnappers to come for them and then I'd arrest them

But now they're in love with me. - Look Celina,

you're a police officer and you're on duty...

...I hoped to hear positive news

Sir, I think I've got them

An informer is tipping me off about their whereabouts

I think we can raid them tonight

You just be ready with the force, sir

So what was the big mistake?

All three of us have hurt Celina,

unknowingly, we hurt her feelings, deeply

Now, that you shouldn't have done. In matters of the heart, she is sad

That's why, to keep herself busy, she re-started my restaurant

Now you've gone and hurt her?

I know and that's why, on behalf of all of us...

I'm here to apologize

She isn't at home right now

She has come! - Yes, I think Celina has come

I'll be back

Celina must forgive all three of us and how can she refuse...

I'll beg at her hands and feet and everything

Has Celina arrived? - Not Celina, instead a bouquet for her

Must be from her boyfriend? - Celina knows the answer best

One minute, the phone

Lovely bouquet,

the fragrance is enticing, the boyfriend, must be

What's this, an envelope?

The boyfriend's whereabouts must be inside, this is fun!

You may have procured the boyfriend's address

But will Celina be willing to return to him?

If we can eradicate the misunderstandings between them...

the lovers may re-unite

Ask him how

How?

Our job is done, if somehow, we can pitch them face to face

But how? Celina doesn't even want to see his face

Think, think, how to take Celina...

What? - One minute

One minute, but what can he achieve in a minute?

You mean we put Celina inside a bottle and we take her along

Silly, small bottle-big Celina, won't fit each other

Shut up, shut up, shut up

Oh I see, we hit her on the head with a bottle,

we knock her out and then we take her...

...third-rate idea, but worth a try

Tea... brother of tea... coffee?

Lace her coffee

She drinks,

she dies?

No... is knocked out of her senses? Wonderful idea

When did this bouquet arrive? - A while ago

But what are you looking for inside?

There was to have been an envelope...

...- There was an envelope, must be there

Were there any callers at home? - Yes, Dipak came

Dipak...

Dipak... Dipak... Dipak... - Yes?

Did you take an envelope from the bouquet

Envelope? Yes Tom, pass the envelope

What childishness is this, Tom? Give me that envelope

Over coffee, as if you've forgiven us

No coffee

Do you understand, I want the bloody card

Instant coffee, happens instantly. - What childishness is this?

Coffee, please. - I don't want coffee

Drink it up, we're drinking coffee too

Give me the card, I said give me the card - Okay, take it

Sir, the address... I...

Swooned? - Yes

What planning!

The blind boy has come on crutches, this time, they have a girl too

Go away

Gentlemen, we were rehearsing a drama

What can I do for you?

I've brought your girlfriend to you

She was not willing to come, so we have to dope her

You never give up true love over quarrels

You ought to forgive her and also apologize to her when she comes to

You've no idea how nice-soft and-pretty a girlfriend you have

How did come to know that she is my girlfriend?

Can true love ever be hidden, sir?

I've been in love too and for someone who is truly in love,

what better a gift?

I am... so grateful to you!

In re-uniting parted lovers, you've achieved...

what Sharukh Khan did in the movie Koyla

what Akshay Kumar did in the movie Dil To Pagal Hai

what Salman Khan did in the movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

Thank you! In returning my beloved to me, you have done a great job

Please, do come for my wedding. I'll send you invitation cards

Take care of her. - Only after you leave?

So now, we depart

Yes, go on... - No, we won't eat anything

We're leaving. - Get going

Bring that along too.

Mission complete

The consignment walks straight up to us

We're going to have a party

And the theme will Bollywood

Mumbai Police has met with some success in the kidnappings' case

Look, that bald guy on TV

The Mumbai Police has found the gang, and this is gang-leader Soprano

Soprano is wanted in several countries

He must be some bigshot, announcing his wedding on TV

That guy... the one who catches?

Kidnapper? He is a kidnapper?

Above the kidnapper? What can that be? Oh... boss!

Celina's boyfriend is the kidnappers' boss?

Celina! Where are you?

Sir, I'm in this place... - Which place?

Where the girls are being held. - Give me the address

Contact Tom, Dick and Harry

They are the ones who brought me here, they know this place

Mistake... I've committed a grave mistake

Why are you hitting him?

He... is... at fault?

Yes! All his fault. Damn you!

The day he came to my house and bent down for me, I knew he's an ass

Had I known that the fuse in his brains...

...is blown just like in his eyes...

I wouldn't have given him a place to live in my house

Why are you screaming at him, whatever...

...he did, he did it out of love, right?

One minute lady, one minute

Now let me think, what's to be done

No! - Don't!

What happened? He?

Is thinking of thinking?

He's talking about thinking? - Yes

No! Uncle, whatever else you do in life...

...don't think of thinking, please

Leave that to us, please. - Okay

What do we do now? I haven't a clue

At this rate, while we're thinking, they'll be celebrating

Got to work out a plan, got to save Celina

Tom... come along, quick

If they are celebrating...

if they are celebrating...

why don't we join the celebrations ? Idea! Where are they gone?

What I must do to get to you

What I must do to get to you

What I must do to get to you

What I must do to get to you

What I must do to get to you

Oh what things I must do, to get to you...

what I must do to get to you

Oh what things I must do, to get to you...

what I must do to get to you

Your gait drives me crazy, blows my mind, O 'my love

What I must do to get to you

What I must do to get to you

Your gait drives me crazy, blows my mind, O 'my love

What I must do to get to you

What I must do to get to you

I'm restless,

love me

Forget the world,

for love, live or die

What I must do to get to you

A wild ecstasy, swinging in my heart, a strange elation is born

I cannot bear the pangs of solitude

Those words of yours, raise such hopes, makes me lovelorn, O'my love

What I must do to get to you

Love's a magic that makes every heart throb

You can't stop that, no matter what you want

What I must do to get to you

In love's season, you're left restless

It's murderous, it can kill in cold blood

Then let's dance together, give in to the throbbing,

let's burn ourselves and set the world on fire, O'my love

What I must do to get to you

What I must do to get to you

What I must do to get to you

Fantastic!

Mind-blowing

You've turned my party into something great

I love it

Hey beautiful

You are so pretty, you ought to have come...

...when I was scoring half century

Anthony...

fantastic

Mr. Pandey,

very good

Mr. Khan,

lovely

How do you do?

Nice meeting you

Blind man's bluff, I can see through it all

Get them all. - Get them?

My hero, my hero, come, hold me!

What do I look like to you? (e0

Missing a light bulb somewhere?

What do you take me for, a stupid bald, idiot?

I was brought up on Bollywood films

The mistakes of Shakal-Mogambo-Gabbar are never to be mine

Soprano is an international villain

You think you can use a 70s climax to nab me... Soprano?

If you have to catch Soprano, think international...

...think big, think global

Now show to me all their real faces...

...show me their faces

I'm a Sikh for real! - Sorry

What are you doing?

What's happening?

It's running? I'll fix it myself

Girl friend?

Ah! Love to love you baby

With the two of you, Soprano will make six bald babies each

You defective pieces will be bashed up so badly by my men...

You defective pieces will be bashed up so badly by my men...

...will ever again try to even stare at Soprano

And inside Soprano's den the police never arrives

Come on babies, time to make babies, the police isn't coming

We have arrived!

Take off your glasses, see for yourself the police have come

And this time, we're on time. Before the climax ensues

P.K. Waghmare gives goons like you such a bashing,

that you'll live in fear of being born again on earth.

Catch the scoundrels

Hands off

Good job, officer

What's going on

Officer? - Yes, officer in disguise

Planted by me

For villains like you, such officers are needed

Police officer? - No!

Celina is a police officer? - Celina is a police officer

Soprano, have you lost your nuts? Where's your gun?

The boss never packs a gun, the pocket dog does

Your commissioner wears one?

You mean to say, I am a pocket dog?

Worse than that

Let go

Leave it

Let go, you bald swine

Took one of your men

Does he know how to use a gun?

One down on your side

Now's your turn

Soprano hits police

No police... get out

No one must escape

And dash the hard discs of those defective pieces

One minute

Take me on

You're in a friend's arms, kick at 3 o'clock

9 o'clock

Nine and three... hit

Mind-blowing

3 o'clock up ahead

One-two... one-two

What was that? - Alarm clock

You'll hit a girl? No... I knew that

You're my cute boy

Filth, rogue

Dog, die

Two more slaps for you

How cute

Take that... and that

Come... let me save you... come...

Soprano's lesson number one. Die laughing

Why are you dancing? You've made friends?

Join the dance

Hit!

Where? - Hit

Why are you hitting Harry?

We're friends now, keep a memento

When did we make friends?

Three apes?

Ape one

Number two

And third

Look what your bald boss is coming to, you'll end up like him too

Run

Time out... Soprano

Come on Soprano

Sorry my mistake, but how would I know, you were dancing with him

Goodness, what have I gotten into?

Got you! I'm not leaving you

Filth! You grab a girl from behind ? Just you wait, I'll show you

Come on now

What are you staring at? - Silicon valley

Curse your mother

It's for real

What makes you laugh?

Soprano's rule number two

Getting bashed by a woman is a privilege of sorts

I'll give you some

Are you okay? - Darling, I always knew...

someday you'll come to my rescue! - Now let's eat the fish

He's here to save you, not for fun, get going, go home quick

Sexy, what's going on here and what are you up to? Go and fight

Soprano is coming

Get my helicopter, Soprano's helicopter

Curse your mother! I'll show you... - What language! Shut up

Girls, stay back. - You locked up the girls?

All the girls are out? Lock them up

Girls, to fight with Soprano?

Girls belong in Soprano's bed

Soprano buys them and sells them

Women aren't chattel for buying-selling

I'll teach you what women are

Nice chair! - Get out of Soprano's throne

You want me to get out and show you?

You're back?

Get out of it, you bald fool

God! Soprano is defeated?

The mistakes of Shakal-Mogambo-Gabbar were never mine

Still, a threesome blind-mute-and-deaf defeated me?

Some Tom-Dick-and-Harry defeated Soprano

Shame on me

Kill me, somebody shoot me

Someone, give me a bullet, please

Get a hold on him, he has gone mad

Move it everyone

Girls, you're free to go home

Clear out, everyone

Not, I'm not telling you to go away

We're off, please stay on a while

Whom to choose?

The first, second or third?

Whom to choose?

Hey Bijli... - Hey, when did you come?

Send a current through me,

shock me

Flowers, for you

What... gives... today... you are in love with me?

Today I have come to talk to you about romance

I have come to propose to you, love

What are you thinking?

Whom... am I... to choose?

Meaning?

Meaning, two more fish are now in my net

There are two others in your life? Who are they? Rotten fish!

There they are, my cute boys.