Original subtitles

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command.

That's right.

Genie, genie from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Jeannie, Jeannie, from down under.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right.

Jeannie, from down under.

Dad, we're free!

The town's heritage.

Fruits of endeavour, rare art and private bandit.

Come in.

After countless requests, Mummy has to finally allow the public in to see our

most personal and private possessions.

This was borrowed from Chichester Library in 1932.

Hope you don't get fined.

I wonder who this was borrowed from.

Most of these things have been collected by my great ancestor, Sir Claude Town.

For generations, the town's family has strived to preserve things that might

otherwise have been lost. Hey, Dad!

Where do you reckon this comes from?

Footloose and fancy free, eh, old chap?

Going on a date with Bubbles, Mummy? No, I've gone right off, men.

The chaps in my support group, chaps who've been rejected by women, actually

suggest a support group for your mother.

And I like the sound of it. It's called man, M -A -N.

Men aren't necessary.

It's for women who are sick of men hanging around and getting in the way

time. Oh, Spocky.

We're on our way to a meeting right now.

What do you mean, we?

Men aren't necessary, Bubbles. Do you think you'll be welcome?

I was hoping to organise a sort of social function between the two groups,

together. Do you mean the chaps who've been rejected by women in the same room

with the women who think men aren't necessary?

Too helpful?

There's another idea.

How about... Miss Tarrant.

Miss Penelope Tarrant. Yes.

My name is Ripper.

Oh. Kevin Ripper.

Hello. I'm here for the Australian government to serve you with a warrant

the seizure of that opal.

All these documents prove conclusively that the opal was stolen from the

opinions of people.

Now, we want it back.

But it... Well,

it... Bill, say something.

Well, it's technically right, Pen. I mean, the Pinstits had the opal long

Sir Claude. Yes, we knew your great -great -great -grandfather, Kev.

He was fine.

We want our opal back, so if you'll just hand it over, I'll give you a receipt

and be on my way. But it belongs to me now.

So you're a thief too, just like Sir Claude. Sir Claude was not a thief. He

a great man. You're kidding.

You think he got any of this stuff legally?

When you trace anything, anything at all in this room, and it'll turn out to be

stolen from somewhere else.

We are not thieves. There are lots of people who would disagree.

Well, if there are so many people who disagree, I wish they'd tell me right

That's who is from the Acropolis.

Many generations of my life have mourned the loss of this.

Oh, it's the law.

This is the Louis XIV today.

That your great -great -grandfather took from my great -great -grandfather while

treating the child.

Oh, they're naughty girls.

Oh,

come out here. Why did I wear this dress?

I'm here for my opal. No, no, no. It's not your opal. It's my opal.

The Claude Town stole that from my aunt and Herman von Meister. And he... stole

it from my tribe.

And your tribe borrowed it from my tribe before that.

At least we should stick together.

Hey, Herman Von Meister paid for that opal fair and square. Fourteen beads and

bottle of rum. Now, I don't think you can get any better than that. Oh, come

It's Aboriginal property.

Yeah, that's right, sis. You tell them. The British Empire has plundered the

four corners of the world for years.

And everyone did it. The Romans used to rob from the Greeks. Yeah, the Egyptians

used to rip off the Babylonians. Remember, Dad?

Those are the days.

I'm from the Chichester Library.

Proceeding with the matter of the nations of the world versus Penelope

Judge Smythe is the meanest judge in England. He's a bitter and disillusioned

man. Why?

His bubble father.

Silence! Or I'll order a flogging.

Now, where is this open?

Ah, objection, Your Honor.

Why are you objecting?

I don't know. I just saw it on television and thought... Miss Towns,

Exhibit A. If you do not give it to me, you will be in contempt of court.

Is that bad?

Do you wish to be thrown in jail?

Certainly not.

Thank you.

Mr. Ripple, you may state your case.

Thank you, Your Honor.

I put it to you that the property, allegedly owned by the town's family, is

fact stolen.

Everything, including the opal, was stolen from every corner of this globe.

Order!

I'll have you all flogged.

Call your first witness.

I call... Lady Diana Townes. Me?

Call Lady Diana Townes.

Mummy, what's happened to you?

My MAN support group is giving me a new perspective.

I'm tough and strong and I can make it on my own, without men.

Do you swear to tell the truth? Yep.

Lady Townes, is it not true that Sir Claude Townes was a thief?

That's just typical of the male attitude.

Of course Sir Claude was a thief.

But you can't ignore the contribution us townswomen have made throughout the

ages. We have stolen just as much as the men. I ask that this testimony be

stricken from the record.

On what ground?

She's lost her fashion sense. She's clearly unbalanced.

I'm going to make amends.

Whatever's left after today will be sold to raise money for third world

children. Can I ask for a short recess, Your Honor?

For what purpose?

I'd like to cry.

Mr. Reese.

I'd like to draw the attention of this court.

To the opal itself.

Rub the opal in the corn.

This rare black opal is only found in Australia.

I wish I could tell you more about it, but... Actually,

I will.

The opal was first mined in the Winora region. That's where I come from.

Told you it belonged to us.

That was about 7 ,000 years ago.

The rock was traded back and forth between the tribes.

It even went to Indonesia.

Objection, Your Honor. Mr. Reaper's got rocks in his head.

Objection sustained.

Give me that opal.

You've rubbed the opal. Silence!

Your Honor, what happens if ownership of the opal can't be proven?

I will give the opal to the World Heritage Museum in Geneva, where it will

available for all to see, not touch.

My name is Otto von Meister, humble servant of the people.

I want to address the court because I am, without any shadow of a doubt, the

rightful owner of that opal.

Who's there to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Come again?

I wish you'd just tell the truth and get on with it.

Are you saying that you're the rightful owner of the Oval?

That's what I was saying, but it's complete bull twang.

It's completely untrue.

I'm just trying to bluff the audience.

Are you saying that you're answered to lawfully own the Oval?

Herman von Meister?

No.

He was a money -hungry old rat bat.

He would have stole the oval and given nothing in return.

And I would do exactly the same thing today, given half a chance. You mark my

words.

Your witness.

No questions, Your Honor.

You've been very illuminating, Mr. von Meister. You may stand down.

Miss Towns, you may proceed.

Didn't go as well as we'd planned, did it?

Trick questions.

I only have one witness, Your Honor.

I'd like to call Bruce.

This is a good idea.

Do you want to spend your days in a glass case in Geneva?

State your full name.

Bruce. Uh, Bruce.

Mr. Bruce.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

I do.

Mr. Abruz, please tell the court, in your own words, who has owned the opal

the past 2 ,000 years.

The opal's gone back and forth between the Eupenster people and the We Got It

Now clan.

Then Herman von Meitner ripped it off from Eupenster. Why'd it go?

Oh, yeah, sorry, huh?

Then Sir Claude won it by, well, cheating in a game of poker.

Objection, Your Honour. This is hearsay. The witness has no prior knowledge of

these events.

Tell me, Bruce, were you or were you not there at the time?

Yes, I was there.

Oh, dear.

I wish the gallery to be in silence.

Bruce knows what he's talking about because he and his son live in the opal,

don't you? Yes, we do.

I'll pull the other one to play a jingle bell.

Objection, Your Honour. He's telling porkies. May I ask the court to remind

witness that he is under oath?

I love it when you talk like that.

To clarify this, Bruce, you'll need to explain who you are.

Well, I can't.

I wish you'd stop fudging and just tell us who you are.

I'm a genie, Your Honour.

Objection. I was making a fuss at these proceedings. I move for a mistrial.

Because Bruton Bass have lived in the Opal for 5 ,000 years, it's clearly

Opal. And, of course, I'm its custodian.

Genie.

So you do magic,

that sort of thing?

Well, yeah.

Let's see some magic.

You have to wish for something, Your Honor.

Oh, he wants wishes, don't he? Oh, let me see. I wish for a nice, big,

juicy apple.

Oh, too hard, will you?

You have to be touching the opal, Your Honor.

Oh, I have to be touching the opal. Oh, so you wouldn't want me to spin around

three times and stand on my head as well?

No, no, no, you're on it. Just touching.

Sounds.

I've had enough of you and this charlatan.

I am making my judgment.

I find that nobody has successfully proved ownership of the opal, and so I

sending it to the museum in Geneva, where it will remain on display forever.

In the meantime, until it can be collected tomorrow, I want it kept in a

secure room.

with the best possible electronic surveillance, touch sensitive floor, and

bulletproof glove.

And that is my final wish.

You can't steal the opal pen.

Can't I? Just watch me. I mean, even if the towns did steal things in the first

place, people have got no right to just steal them back. There's too much theft

going on. This?

It's where it is.

You're just like Sir Claude. Do you want to sit in a glass case in Geneva

forever?

Well... We'll never see Australia again.

I'd never see Diana again.

It's all funny.

Have you inspired me, milady?

Do you like the M .A .M. philosophy, then, Martha? No, just the hair and dye.

We've got to get that opal back to the people who really need it. I don't think

anybody will recognize it.

I beg your pardon, my lady.

Two guards.

Leaving.

Now we have exactly ten minutes until they return. Let's synchronize watches.

We haven't got any watches.

The slightest vibrations will set off the alarms.

I wish there was a fake opal in a new glass case and we were out of here.

Oh, I love the way you did that.

I'm coming.

You see, my lady, men aren't necessary.

Oh,

I'm just checking for my wagon at the request of my good friend, Lady Towne.

We're open, too.

Who are you, chap?

The gasman.

Just reading the meter.

Well, carry on.

I had such a fantastic plan, too.

I'm going to... Look,

look, look in there.

Look, look.

That's brilliant.

Woodwork, men.

Well, the open will be in very safe hands from now on.

It certainly will.

The safest.

The hands it should have been in in the first place.

The hand could deserve it.

Strictly speaking, it's in a glass cave.

So technically, it's not in anyone's hands at all.

That would suggest that... I'll just be quiet now.

Yes, I think that would be best, sir.

Does your head feel as oily as mine?

old stuff with fakes, Pen. Don't be silly, Baz. I got your father to make

all those other people had the fakes, and I've got our old things back again.

But isn't that stealing?

Oh, Baz, Baz, Baz, Baz, Baz.

So naive.

But you've got their stuff.

But they don't know that, so they're happy.

Thanks to me. And I'm happy thanks to me.

Oh, you must have a heart as big as the outback to be so generous, Pen.

Oh, thank you, Bruce.

Actually, I've learned a lot about the true value of things. I've learned that

there's nothing like the real thing.

Especially this.

I'm the genie. You're the master.

That's right.

I'm the master.

You're my genie. You belong to me. Yes.

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie, from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Genie, genie, from down under.

I wish you do.

Won't you two?

Oh, yeah, all right.

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