Original subtitles

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right.

Dad,

we're free!

I rub the opal in my hand.

My every wish is your command.

I'm Penelope Town.

I used to be very happy. I used to have a magical pool and two genies.

Australia.

Wrong. England.

You've rubbed the opal in your hands, your every wish is our command. I wish I

could win this game.

But the yummy part was that they were my

secret. No one else had the foggiest idea they were magic.

I can do that.

If things needed doing around the house, I'd just wish.

And wishing is very handy around the grounds as well, let me tell you.

I tried out some new look.

And in the cross -country race, well, guess who won?

Unfortunately, my genies didn't like living in England.

Australia!

And they dragged me off on magic carpet rides.

Fun, you might think. Well, not if you get airsick.

And flying carpets don't have sick bags.

Sometimes they were really quite mean.

But most of the time, I was incredibly happy.

See

that?

My opal around Mummy's neck. And him? He used to be my slave. Well, genie.

But now Mummy's every wish is his command.

At least it will be, as soon as Bruce tells her he's a genie.

Poor Mummy. She'll be so, so happy. And I'll be... Hi,

Penn.

Are you spying on me? I can't stand it when people creep around spying on

people.

Penn, I want to talk to your dad, you and me.

Why hasn't Bruce told Mummy he's a genie, hmm?

Because most masters treat us like slaves. Really? How awful.

That's for sure. Your mum just doesn't like him for the magic.

Surely he doesn't think she'd like him for his personality.

He's Australian.

He doesn't have a personality.

He's just trying to seduce her, isn't he?

What does that mean? He's trying to use her.

Nah, he just wants to marry her and then ask her to set us free.

We'll see about that.

so I can do it properly, hmm? I wish you'd just leave the sunscreen to Bruce.

Huh? Oh.

Don't worry, I'll make sure she's covered all over.

Dad, have you told her yet?

Well, it's not that easy.

Oh, just squeeze the tube.

Just tell her.

I would tell her if people would just leave us alone. Now, come on, children.

Let's leave the grown -ups alone.

And that includes you too, Miss Penelope.

Don't you wish we could go somewhere and be alone?

Mummy, be careful. If you end up alone with him, he could be dangerous. Thank

you, Penelope.

I'll have to cope somehow.

You don't know anything about him. Then if we had some time together, I would

get to know him. What if he leaves you stranded in the desert and you run out

water and buzzards peck out your inside bits? I wish you'd calm down and take a

good look at yourself.

Diana.

Don't you wish we could go somewhere and be alone in some magic spot?

Oh, yes.

Pen, Pen, I've got something for you. I picked them myself for my new sister.

Oh, there's romance in the air.

I've got a feeling we'll be hearing a proposal very soon.

Good night, Conrad.

I've made a solemn vow to myself.

I'm going to... Conrad!

He was... He was sleeping.

Conrad, I've made a solemn vow to myself. I'm going to get that opal back.

last thing I do.

I love her.

I deserve it.

I need that opal. It's me.

Imagine me, I.

We never think about ourselves at Von Meister Tours.

We're only here to serve you, the members of the big...

Bigger and biggest person social club. And we can promise you some big sights.

We're talking big skies and big countries. Small bus.

It

must

be hard for Baz not having his mother around.

Oh, it all happened a long time ago.

A few thousand years.

We're sort of used to it now.

It's so reassuring talking to another single parent. Yeah, I know what you

So, um... How do you feel about slavery?

Um... I think it's terrible.

Good.

Uncle's parents have to make so many decisions. Oh, yeah.

So, uh, how do you feel about having absolute power?

I find it very uncomfortable.

Good.

Good.

I can visualize having that, Uncle.

And I'm going to use all of my wit and my charm and my animal magnetism.

Now make that happen. I knew there'd be a snag somewhere along the line. You

better believe it.

I love that Mona Lisa smile.

How about you and me get some grub tonight, eh? What do you say?

We should leave us now.

I'll be leaving you now.

Yeah, we'll talk later when the two of us can be alone together.

That'll be great. So I'll be in touch. I'll speak to you soon, all right? Yeah,

no worries.

Mummy to marry him. I'll tell her it's him or me.

She'll have to choose. Good plan, eh?

Nah.

Oh, you're right.

I've got a much better plan.

Mummy! Where have you been? What have you been doing? I've been worried sick.

Do you know what time it is?

We've just been... Mummy!

Is it possible for us to have a little chat? You know, daughter to mother.

Lovely.

Did Penelope seem polite to you, mate?

She's up to something.

I feel as if you prefer Bruce to me.

Oh, we're growing apart.

You've become so distant and you're always wearing the opal. Not that I

I'm just being honest.

Penelope, the opal's been such a good luck charm to you.

And you were getting so obsessed with it.

Friendly and polite.

She is definitely up to something.

Definitely.

But I don't care, mate.

Next time I'm alone with Diana, I'm just going to tell her I'm a genie. Good on

you, Dad.

Mummy,

I just need a sign. Something to show me you won't forget me when you're

married.

I understand, darling.

I'm sure we can work something out.

Mummy's explained how she feels about you. And if she's happy, I'm happy.

Since when?

Will I see you later for lunch?

Thank you. I'd love to.

Okay.

What's going on?

I just want Mummy to be happy.

You're up to something.

Me?

Don't be silly.

She's up to something.

She's just excited that I'm going to be her brother.

Yeah, mate, that could be it.

Mummy! Try this. It's called Irresistible.

It always works for me.

I wish I was irresistible.

Baz, we might leave the lovebirds alone.

They've got things to discuss.

Get into it, guys.

Get into it.

You know, I like these people. I

like them a lot.

Because they're really comfortable with who they are?

No, because they offered to cook their own lunch.

Diana,

now that we're alone... Hey!

I was rather hoping it would be tea for two.

So was I.

There you go, pal.

Three's a crowd.

Okay, mate. See you around. See you then.

I've got you this special dry -to -right at my pedal. A symbol of my affection

for you. Thanks, mate.

Hey, what's going on?

Come on, Mr. Moistler. I'll throw these out for you.

What about a bit of a private rendezvous later then? Sorry, mate, you're not my

type. Ow!

Hey, you're still all right.

That's more than I can say for you, Mr.

Moistler. Now ask her.

To propose.

Marriage?

A toast.

To the woman.

I want to marry.

Who is the most irredeemable martyr I've ever had?

The one I...

possible we could have some time alone together just the two of us in isolation

without anybody else or any interruptions for longer than two

diana's

still trying to find some time alone with me them flowers worked a treat

That's how you cook their lunch, darling.

They cooked it for themselves.

Great. Where's mine?

It's gone.

Gone? What do you mean, gone?

Well, they ate it. They ate it all.

They ate four days' worth of rations in one sitting. There's nothing left.

It was amazing to watch.

What am I going to eat?

I'm starving.

My stomach thinks my throat's been cut.

Tell me when to press play.

Look, I want to ask you something.

But before I ask you something, I need to tell you something.

You see, I'm a man with a past.

A very long past.

2 ,000 years at least.

You see, I'm not like other men.

I'm not like other women, either.

Look,

it's simple, really.

I'm a gene.

Way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Did somebody mention food?

British scraps they might have, but they're even worse off than we are.

are really hurting out there.

No, no, no, no, no. No need to panic.

No need to panic at all.

Because you are lucky enough to have among you Australia's original bush

man. Great!

When do we get to meet him?

It's me.

Yep, it's me.

I am the so -called genius of the bush.

That's how I met him. I've managed to survive off the land and maintain my

perfect height for weight ratio.

I've never told anyone this before.

Well, that is someone I'm in love with.

But I have to tell you, Diana, you see, I'm a man,

but I'm also a...

Come on.

Hey,

Dad.

Genie.

And your every wish is my command.

Oh, I wish this moment could go on and on forever.

Disappointment and anticipation must have been too much. Oh, it sent her over

the edge.

Maybe I should move the open around her neck. Make it easier for her to breathe.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Let Marcy do it. No, no, no, I will.

Let's leave her ladyship alone for the moment.

Good thinking, Marcy.

Back off, get out of there. Don't you touch it.

Well done, darling.

It's like a mother. We suckle at her breast.

Plenty more where that came from.

Thank you. Go for it!

All right, do you want to try them little chocolate balls?

The little sticky ones, they're great.

What are they?

Rabbit food.

All you had to do was ask her to marry you. Simple.

A child could do it, couldn't you, Beth?

I don't want to marry you, Mum. She's too old for me.

Australian, no idea.

Do I have to do everything myself?

No, no. I'll ask her, definitely.

Well, you can't now.

She's a really imbecile, thanks to you. She can't even get out of her own bed.

What are we going to do about that?

Look, Pam, I'll talk to her soon.

It's hiding.

Oh,

I

didn't know you weren't feeling well.

Oh, it's not my fault. I have this effect on women. They want me. They

have me. They part.

Oh, you do.

You rubbed the opal in your hand.

It's not my fault, mate.

She was after me. She was chasing me. She's desperate.

I mean, I can see how you'd be jealous and everything.

But what can I say? She just loves me.

I bet you wish this had never happened.

I wish for heaps of things, pal.

I wish them fat, ungrateful tourists were happy.

Don't you sometimes wish you could go back in time?

Of course I do.

But I'll be a monkey's uncle before I waste my time on wishful thinking. A

monkey's uncle?

Well, a wish is a wish, mate. You ready?

We'll just go back in time.

No bananas.

No fruit.

Nothing.

Where is everyone?

They walked out on it.

One of them said he could smell food about 200 miles that direction.

Hope they don't want a refund.

Nah, they seem pretty happy.

tell you, Diana.

Are you dead?

I'm a genie.

And your every wish is my command.

So I could wish that this moment would last forever?

No.

Well, yeah.

Yeah, you could wish for that, but don't.

No, I wouldn't waste a wish on that.

Not when we have the whole of our lives together.

I always knew there was something special and different about you.

Maybe that's why I love you.

special about you. Maybe that's why I love you.

So, will you marry me?

Of course.

Good on you, Dad.

Congratulations,

Mummy.

Here you are, darling. I told you it was lucky.

Oh, thank you, Mummy. I nearly forgot all about that.

Uh -oh. What are you doing?

But Ella B's been feeling very vulnerable.

Vulnerable? So I told her I'd give the opal back if you ever proposed to me.

Very vulnerable.

It's been so lucky for me. And now I don't need it anymore. Yeah, you do. And

do too.

This climate's so harsh on Mummy's skin.

I just wish we were back in England.

Come here, Uncle. I'm not a monkey.

It's not in public.

Bye. When you blokes start to go on a tour of the outback, we get all sorts,

sorts of people come up there, they'd love it. You'd love it, I can tell you'd

love it. The last time we ever back a fat slob, hey? What do you say?

Don't you recognise us?

We're the fat slobs.

The weight just drained off us when we were walking through the scrub.

We've never been so happy.

When I made that comment about fat slobs, I didn't mean it in a negative

way. Would you like a banana?

So good to be home in England.

I'm sorry, Bruce, but it's all over between you and Mummy. She's forgotten

everything.

Hello, Bruce.

I've been thinking about having a picnic by a river.

Oh, really?

Well,

I know a few magic spots.

I'm sure you do.

You just can't beat that first spark of love.

I'm really lucky to have had it more than once.

With the same woman.

I thought you said your mum's happiness is more important than anything else in

the whole world.

And I meant every word of it, Ben.

You see, when I'm not happy, my mother's not happy either.

So I have to keep myself happy.

For mummy's sake.

I'm the genie, you're the master.

That's right. I'm the master, you're my genie. You belong to me. Yes.

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie, from down on.

My wish come true.

Dream on.

Teeny, teeny, from down under.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right then.

Teeny, from down under.

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