Original subtitles

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right.

Dad,

we're free!

Don't even ask me how I am.

I'm hot and disgustingly sticky.

I'm blistered all over from sunburn. I'm covered in naughty mosquito bites.

And flies.

So why am I still smiling?

I'm glad you asked. I've just finished my master plan.

The perfect wish?

I've learned my lesson. No more sloppy spur -of -the -moment wishes for me. I

have finally perfected the art of wishing.

I've got you exactly where I want you. No more twisting my wishes or tripping

up and making me look like a fool.

What are you doing here?

You're on the open.

And here we are.

Yes, here you are.

And this is my next wish.

It's all laid out for you in black and white so you won't accidentally

misinterpret my intention.

No more twisting my wishes.

Your little day is done.

I want you to read that document.

That's my wish.

I want you to read it and weep.

Fair enough, pet.

Your every wish is our command.

Perfect! Yes, I know.

From 6 p .m. tonight, 9 a .m., dear old English time, I shall be perfect,

Penelope, with the perfect life.

Let me get this straight.

Basically... Basically, you want to go back to England.

You want Mother to be happy. You want your mother to be rich. You want to be

beautiful. You want Marsha's hair.

You want us to get a job there. And you want Otto and Conrad to explore their

feminine kind.

When you say you want Martha to be ugly, exactly how...

I wish to return to town to all world cheer, in present -day England, in

comfort, and believe me... Well,

here we are back in England.

Comfortable?

Yes, thank you.

They're gone.

Back's locked up.

Otto, you can stop knocking.

They must have gone back to England.

Well, they are, Opal.

There, there, mate. Let's take it like men, huh?

I owe that for me, sir.

I'm so glad. I've got so much to do -do -do. I've got so much to do -do -do. Oh,

Miss Penelope. I'll just clean the kitchen and three of the bathrooms and

bedrooms. There's so much cleaning to be done. I'm just so happy.

Oh, my lady, I'm so glad. I've got so much to do -do -do. Never too bad, I'll

never be too. I've got so much to do -do -do. That's four mil at 10%. Sorry, I

can't take it all.

The bank needs the cash, and I'm in the interest.

Hello, darling.

Sorry, Kira, not you.

OK? Till, um, five.

Our time.

Yes!

Oh, Mummy, I'm so very proud of you.

You're so very rich.

I adore you too, darling.

Now, study these brochures.

I want to buy you a Pacific island for your birthday.

Oh!

And you're the perfect daughter.

Oh, moi.

Look at that.

It's moi.

I'm so beautiful.

I must compliment you, Bruce. Marcia's hair looks much better on me.

How is Marcia?

Oh, it's very sad, really. She's become a recluse.

Apparently, she was offered a job at the zoo as an exhibit, but she turned it

down.

Oh, Marcia, she's been through so much already.

Please, don't laugh.

Really, what do you take me for?

I haven't come here just to gloat.

Hello, Lady Huntley.

I've come to see Marcia.

Oh, that's so sweet of you to be here.

Poor Marcia, she hasn't had a single visit to Vincent.

Vincent.

Oh,

I still can't believe it.

Marcia was so beautiful, with hair just like yours.

And now she's... She's so terrible.

This just couldn't happen to a nicer person.

I mean, Marcia was so nice.

And now she's... Is she really gross or just sort of ugly?

Try not to stare or laugh or scream.

Lastly

to

see you, Marcia.

Aren't you hot in that hat?

Stay back. I understand. You feel sensitive about your look.

I too feel...

sensitive about your looks. But looks aren't everything.

And I should know, now that I have them.

It's the person inside. What do you want?

Accounts.

I want you to know that I'm here for you, Marcia.

However gross and repulsive you may now be, I'll still be your friend.

Now, why don't you take off that hat?

You'll be my friend no matter what.

Even though you're so perfect in every way.

And I'm so, so, so... What are you doing

here? Well, I live here. I want to see if she's really gross. I came to watch

you gloat.

How thick can you get?

Oh, no, no, no, not you, Marcia.

I'm your friend now. You can trust me. Take off your hat, please.

Thomas, you won't laugh.

I won't flinch or flicker an eyelid, no matter how hideous.

I mean...

Unusual, you look.

My hair.

It's not the same anymore.

It's all right, Marcia. I understand.

I won't laugh. I promise.

And my face.

Please, Marcia, I do wish you'd take off that hat.

She looks like something from another planet. Oh, Brooks, you've really done

very well.

The nose was mighty.

That was very cruel.

I'll change her back when I'm ready.

Anyway, I didn't visit Marcia just to rub in how ugly she is. Oh, no, I'm

that. I had a noble motive as well.

Now that my life is so perfect, I wanted to share it with her and bring a ray of

sunshine into the miserable gloom of her hideous existence.

I wish the whole world could find out how perfect my life is.

Your every wish is our command.

Now, I think it's time you two found a job somewhere out in the world.

But I don't have any qualifications.

Well, I'm sure you'll find a position somewhere, and that's the wish. If I

you, I'll rub you for it. See you around, then.

Bye, Ben.

Bye -bye.

You're never going to fall for this.

You've got a better idea?

We'd better get that apple off the nappily.

Then how come you got to wear the black vinyl?

Well, that's my favourite colour.

Besides, it sets off me eyes a treat.

Hello. G'day.

Um, hello.

We made a booking for bed and breakfast a couple of months ago.

I'm happy to say we don't take paying guests anymore.

Oh, go on. I mean, just overnight. Just one night.

Please. We've got nowhere else to go.

Oh, all right. I do love surprise guests. The thrill of having to organise

guest room without me warning. The sheer joy of having to revise my dinner plans

on the spot.

Hello! Mrs. McKenzie!

Mrs. McKenzie!

People have arrived!

Oh, wonderful!

Well done, well done. Well done, Mrs. McKenzie.

Right, get some shots from around the ground. I'll check out what's happening

inside. Hello, Miss Penelope Doris Knight. I can't tell you how thrilled I

We really want to show the world just how perfect your life is. I think it'll

a great inspiration to a lot of people.

Well, I certainly hope so. We're calling the story The First Perfect Person.

Oh, great, here they are.

Our guests, please.

You just find out two new presenters. They are fantastic.

Totally natural. They've got that real...

Star quality. You'll love them. They just appeared in my office one day out

nowhere. Oh, welcome, welcome, welcome.

Prince, Baz, great to see you.

Come and meet your first guest, most perfection of herself, Penelope Town.

Penelope, meet Prince and Baz, the stars of our show.

He's always wearing the opal. We'll never get it off him. We might as well

back to Australia.

Come on, Conrad, we've just arrived. Give it a chance.

We're not leaving here without that opal. It belongs to us.

I'll give you that root now, Paula. She's cooking.

Thanks.

I see you coming down the stairs. Big entrance, okay?

Would you please? And now I'll go up to another.

It's a little something for you.

I'm so happy in the kitchen. Coming down here.

This side, yes.

Try coming this side. So if we could just... I

just want it done, OK?

Make it happen, thanks.

Right, we'll start in here with Bossy.

Get most of the... Oh,

yes, and she was a babe.

Always an angel.

Even when everyone else hated her. Even when she had no friends at school.

Bad breath. Act.

I still love her.

That's great. What can I understand you like to see?

Oh, yes.

Then we come in here for a shot of the loving mother. You know, perfect

daughter, perfect son.

Look, I'm sorry, but time is money. And I'm worth 4 ,000 a second, so I don't

have time.

I'm supposed to be part of an unconditional lust to show how perfect

Do you have to make such a long speech as her, Lady?

Time is money.

How about we just duck in here for a quick shot of you at work? That way you

won't waste any time and we still get the feeling that you have plumage with

him, you know.

Two minutes tops.

Do I?

Well, if you don't know him now, darling, you soon will. This show is

be real and it's going to be big.

I like it. We'll interview you and the best friend in here.

No worries, Dory.

So, you and Penelope, you're very close, are you?

Oh, yes. She's my best friend.

Actually, she's the only friend I've got. Now that I'm so... so... grotesque.

Penelope means a lot to me.

She's so kind and giving and... kind and giving.

intelligent and beautiful.

Yeah, great. It's over for the camera, OK? So what do you think? Bruce, Baz,

ready? Let's shoot a bird.

Steady fire, babe.

Oh, yes.

I can't

take off my hat.

Well, you look like a beekeeper.

I wish we had done.

Are you suggesting your note?

I wish I had hair like yours.

Now, now, Martha.

And a very ugly one, too, yeah.

Uh, could you please have your autograph?

who brought me up since I was five years old, has just jumped out of an

aeroplane and a parachute didn't...

First and foremost, the perfect mother. Loving and kind not only to Penelope,

but to everyone who crosses her path.

How about a word of wisdom from the perfect mother?

Don't have children. They'll bleed you dry.

I like it. It's real. Let's move on.

Lady Diana is so beautiful.

Oh, yeah, isn't she, though? Just like her daughter.

Oh, yeah.

Penelope has perfect skin.

A kill for skin like that.

It's a pity about that apple, though, isn't it? I mean, it makes her

a bit, like, pasty and scanty -looking.

You think so?

Isn't it, Claire, maybe too much for the camera?

Claire, look, it's too much for the cameras.

OK, we're ready.

happening, I'll really make it worth your while. We want genuine emotion, you

know. It's got to be real. So, want some onion juice or something?

I'll be fine.

I think we've got a new master.

Yeah.

Any final checks?

She's so beautiful, so perfect.

There's nothing for me to do.

It must be frustrating for an artist such as yourself.

Oh, yeah.

I like me job.

I just wish, you know, she had a few problems.

Give me a challenge so I could be useful.

Did that sound like a wish to you?

I think so.

That's what I call a challenge.

Let's go with it. I like it. It's really real. Okay, boys, action.

Everyone's heard of perfect Penelope and her perfect life.

She is the modern myth who's got it all.

Everyone's been trying to copy that Penelope look.

Even when her friend Marcia was hideously deformed, the only friend to

her was Penelope. How can someone be that perfect?

Let's go on our perfect Penelope.

No, she doesn't.

Marzia, perhaps you can tell us why Penelope is so perfect.

Well, what I love about Penelope is that she's the one person in the world who

makes me feel attractive.

You're world famous now.

That show is being rerun around the world due to popular demand.

Depressed nations are showing it to their people to cheer them up.

I wish you to reverse the perfect wish.

Every last bit of it.

Well, it's a very complex wish.

Won't be easy to undo.

Could take days and days.

That wasn't the worst of it.

Mummy got too rich and was charged with insider trading.

Muffy got too happy and many of my cooks took her away for a rest.

They'll be joining me here to lie low when they're released.

But I've learnt a valuable lesson from all this.

One that I'll never forget. And I want to pass it on to you.

To save you the heartbreak I've been through.

Always remember, no matter how perfectly you've prepared your wish, you must

never, ever...

Trust your genie.

I'm the genie. You're the master.

That's right.

I'm the master. You're my genie. You belong to me. Yes.

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along.

With the opal in your hand, now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie, from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Genie, genie, from down under. I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Oh, yeah, all right.

Genie. from down under.

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