Original subtitles

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right.

Dad,

we're free!

All right, Diana, just give it an almighty whack.

Reckon I'll just give it a bit of a nudge.

Mummy's got my magic over and she won't give it back.

I've begged and pleaded, but all to no avail.

Luckily, Bruce and Baz haven't told Mummy that her every wish is their

Bruce says he's waiting for the right moment, as if he was going to propose to

her. They've been getting much too, you know, together lately.

I have to do something before Mummy gets hurt.

I'm only thinking of her.

If she finds out Bruce is a genie, he'll make all her dreams come true. And

then, well, it sickens me just to think about it.

I'm not very good at this sort of thing.

You just do your best, Master, and I'll do the rest.

Good shot, Master.

Continue.

Diana, I've been thinking of taking a holiday. I've got a small place down on

the Isle of Wines.

Good shot, Marston.

What about Positano, Saint -Tropez or Disneyland?

Australia's very nice this time of year.

You've got to be joking.

Exactly.

Marston, you're a regular Minnesota fan.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, no, he was a character in a film.

He wasn't called fast because he was back. For heat, dust and flies, snakes

sharks. And the ozone layer has a hole in it.

Oh, Mothman.

Bad luck. We were going so well, too.

Your shot, Diana.

Oh, well.

What do you think, Bruce?

I wish I could clear the table with just one shot.

There shouldn't be too much problem. Good luck, Diana.

I hope you don't mind my saying so, but I don't think snooker is really your

game.

Good shot.

So, are you going away for a holiday?

I wouldn't mind.

Where do you think we should go, Baz? The land of no worries.

That sounds delightful.

Don't you wish you were there right now? Oh, rather.

That'd be fabulous.

Oh, Mummy.

Anywhere but Australia.

Even the Isle of Wight.

Don't you wish we were there right now?

Look at that flowering cactus, darling.

Isn't it amazing?

Only flowers once in a blue moon.

Must have known you were coming.

You ladies, you are succulent with red and white. Know as well, are you? I want

you to stay away from my mother.

I can't do that, Pam. She's the boss and her every wish is my command.

You haven't even told her. You're a genie.

I'll tell her. You don't want Mummy to know because you're in love with her.

In love with your mother?

Where'd you get an idea like that?

Is that why you keep talking to her in your sleep, Dad?

No, no, of course not, son. That's... Well, that's something else. But I don't

want you to be in love with Mummy.

If I were in love with your mother, and I'm not saying that I am, well, there's

nothing you could do, because love has a mind of its own.

I have a mind of my own.

You don't have the opal.

Isn't this exciting, darling?

I'm going to change into my gardening clothes.

Good for you, Mummy.

What do you think, darling?

You look marvellous, Mummy.

So you stole the opal from your poor loving mother.

And who stole it off me in the first place?

Now, we can't go back to England straight away because Mummy's bonding

earth and Conrad will soon be arriving.

However, your love for Mummy has to stop right now.

I told you, mate, I can't do that. It's like when he talks in his sleeping...

Keep playing, son. Well, if you won't fall out of love with Mummy, then Mummy

will have to fall in love with someone else.

I'll be sensible.

Don't do it, mate. You be sensible first. Stop this mad infatuation.

You can't do that, Penny.

Infatuation just sort of happens.

Well, then, I'll have to find a new love for my mother.

Now, I think I'll go and get changed for Conrad.

My staff said that I would go to the desert and that I'd find love there.

Isn't that amazing? Look at the queue I have in the desert.

Next thing you know, you'll fall in love.

Don't say that.

If you think it's going to happen, it won't happen.

Mate, Outback Matchmaking Club, what a pack of losers.

What were you thinking when you organised this tour auto?

Money, love, marriage.

Inheritance, that's it. You inherited a buttload of misfits. It's perfect.

A bit of the old wine and dine.

I'd pop Diana the question.

And I know you're uncultured for those hours, but I'm married.

Yeah, too bad Dinah thinks you're a scumbag. Ha, ha, mere detail.

I reckon it's time for Crocodile and I to wield some of that old photo magic.

Ha, ha, ha.

Pass me the pickled onion, will ya?

at least some of that old Otto magic, Romeo.

There she is.

She's just playing hard to get.

You wouldn't.

I know, I shouldn't.

But she's your mum.

It's up to you, Bruce.

If you're sensible, it doesn't have to happen.

I told you, Pen, I can't change the way I feel.

Then I wish for Mummy and Otto to fall in passionate, totally romantic love.

Mr Leicester is a walking contamination.

You shake his hand, you feel diseased.

A bit more tragic than magic, eh? He looks at you, you need a bath.

Repulsive doesn't really do him justice.

Die. Putrid.

Repellent. Oh, Otto.

Die. I've hungered for your touch.

Naughty. That's the word I'm looking.

You wanted it romantic.

I wish it were more normal.

Soft, fuzzy.

Normal love.

I wish it were just plain old -fashioned love.

All right.

I want them to love each other the way you love Mummy.

And that's a wish.

You'll be sorry.

It's very... Nauseating.

That's definitely the word.

Magic. What did I tell you?

Love is in the air.

I think I feel a bit weak.

You are staked owing to a hungry man.

I love you.

Looks like Mum is not interested in you anymore.

Why don't you be sensible and give up?

My heart won't let me surrender, even though my stomach's not taking it too

well. Well, perhaps we need to distract your heart.

I see two ladies, and I wish they'd both fall in love with you.

G'day, mate.

How's it going?

No, it's going all right.

What you been up to?

Nothing much.

Fancy a stroll a bit later on?

Oh, yeah?

Be all right?

See you later then, eh?

Yeah.

That'd be good.

How romantic.

Is that love Aussie style?

Nah. We're just shooting the breeze.

I think love should be a bit more poetic.

Isn't life great, Conrad?

In fact, I wish you'd bring out the romantic poet in Conrad.

I'm only a genie. You'd need a surgeon to do that.

How's it going, Pen?

It's good to see you again.

I thought you'd never ask.

Our love we will enhance if we pair up for this dance.

Isn't it?

Bye. The people like a bit of bit now and then.

Looks like they're vacuum packed.

Twice as much weight.

Look, Ben, I reckon she could be half enough.

Are you suggesting that I give in?

Don't be ridiculous.

I'm having far too much fun.

Mind if I cut in?

Looked like you're in trouble now, Brute. What do you mean?

Well, I'm sure Mossy and Trish don't want to share the same man.

They'll have to make a decision.

Well, really, I'm quite happy having a part like that.

Be a bit too... What's the word? Icky.

Yes. Be too icky if he was around all the time.

I feel exactly the same way.

Time has come, my love is waiting. My heart's the hook that you have baited.

Top sentence. My favourite.

Pin, you have to change your wish.

They're going to get married.

Who's the lucky woman?

Mossy or Trish?

We've got an announcement to make.

We wanted you to be the first to know.

I want you to call me Dad.

See?

She's speechless.

That's how thrilled she is.

Don't forget there's nothing wrong with a long engagement, Tan, or weddings.

No, Murphy.

We're going to tie the knot next week.

Oh, love won't work.

New five marriages wouldn't be enough to keep an old devil like you down. Well,

mate, you know, once that old auto magic starts pumping, you can't hold her

back. Oh, queen.

Aren't you going to pop around and give your new dad a kiss?

Go on, doll. Plant one on me.

I think I'll wait till the day of the wedding.

All right, darling.

Mummy, are you sure about this?

Oh, darling.

I've never been so sure about anything in my whole life.

Otto and I are going to be together forever.

Yeah. We're going to have lots of children.

And as soon as we come back from the honeymoon, we're going to start the

renovations.

Yeah.

I'm just feeling a little bit overexcited, I suppose. My little pedal.

Lover, come back.

Ain't love grand?

Yes.

I cannot wait another second. Tell me what you reckon.

Do you agree our love is blissful?

Is it not obvious in every kiss? Not now, Conrad.

But I love you night and day. Please, Penn, don't push me away.

Away? Right now, I wish on the other side of the world.

I can do that.

Otto!

Have you seen Otto anywhere?

The last time I saw him, he was right here.

Yes, I thought you two were stapled together.

Otto!

You have to do something. This is all getting out of control.

Tell your father to be sensible.

You made the wishes. You were the one that fell in love with my mother when

weren't supposed to.

Who was he?

I hope he's all right.

What if something dreadful has happened to him?

Otto!

Well, you might as well sleep away and forget all about it, all right?

If you don't do that.

Look, I've baked a shepherd's pie.

It's my specialty.

Oh, Bruce,

what am I going to do?

Otto?

What are you doing, Mr. Meister?

What?

I just, er... I just needed some personal space.

I've started to feel hemmed in.

It's all getting a bit... Icky.

Otto!

Dad.

What am I going to do?

I can't live without my Otto.

All right, I'll be back as soon as I put proper on the table.

He's in the bus, Dad. I've got to find Otto.

It's not that I don't love her, because I do.

I'm going to mention her and me in a few little battles.

Just when she started talking about renovations, something just went clunk.

I'm going to spend like that with all my other wives.

You get married, everything's going great.

Then they start talking about renovations.

I don't know how to tell you this, Diana, but Otto is a dog.

It's not the first time he's run off and left a broken heart behind.

Otto wouldn't do that to me.

It only fears the dog.

What a cute little Labrador.

Lovely little Gatsby.

Enjoy your youth, Ben.

What's the renovation?

You go and tell Pen that we've got a broken man here before us. And I wish

have some pity on him.

Dad seems to tell you that Otto is a broken man. He can't do the renovation.

Pity you.

There, there, my lady.

Well, I just wish we had some more chocolate.

Chocolate is to go.

A

crocodile.

I can't take your call at the moment. Just leave a message after the tip.

Please pass on this message from me to my darling Penelope.

Now that we are two apart, coldness fills my aching heart.

Burst these renovations.

Then redecorate them. And then you're going to get all new appliances.

We ought to start with the R word.

What about him, mate?

You've got two women chasing after you.

You're going to have to make your mind up soon.

I know.

I like them both, but...

Not in that special way.

So you're not ready to do the renovations yet?

Not ready for that sort of commitment?

Nah.

What have I been thinking about?

How can I turn my back on the love?

And sharing.

The sense of belonging.

And the richness of the family.

Jewel.

Opal.

Mate, I'm going through with it, despite the renovations.

I'm going to get down to me bended knee and I'm going to beg her to take me

back. Dad!

Son, tell Penelope the marriage is back on.

And now he reckons he doesn't want to have anything to do with either of us.

I baked my special shepherd's pie for him. I thought it was his favourite.

I thought it was the wind beneath my wings.

And I've run out of pot.

Men. The world would be a better place without them.

If there were no men, there'd be no wars.

And no divorce.

And no more cricket.

Wouldn't that be a blessing?

Men are lower than the life on a scurvy dog's back.

I wouldn't spit on a man if he was on fire.

If a man was starving and dying of thirst right here, right now, I'd laugh

his face.

It's the love of my life.

I knew he'd come back.

Rise up out of the sea with seven heads and ten horns.

Otto!

Otto, my darling!

Otto!

I was a fool. And I want you to know that I won't live a few

measly renovations.

Stand between you and me and the opportunity to achieve everlasting

Oh, my love.

I want to be with you forever.

I want your name. I want to have your children.

We've got a minister here who's ready and willing.

What do you say? Is this a great day for a wedding or what?

Yes!

Tell them what's what.

Bloodies and germs.

It is a pleasure to meet you all.

Anyway, here's looking up your old address, eh?

into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined.

Therefore, if any man can show any just cause why they may not lawfully be

joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.

Yeah, I object.

Oh, object. What are you objecting to?

What's going on? It's just too icky.

lovers and Nikki.

I wish everything was back to normal.

Nothing's going to spoil this magical day for us.

Hey!

Don't worry about it, Baz.

We still want to get rich, don't we, darling?

Darling? I'm sorry, I feel a bit nauseous.

Come here, my lady.

That's sort of really strange.

Looks like that old Otto magic's working a treat, eh?

Doddy?

Diddums?

Sorry that love didn't come your way.

But, dear, we had some really good times.

Didn't we?

Eh? From now on, I'm going to mind my own business.

There are just some things that people have to work out for themselves.

But sometimes I wish that... I'd love to.

There are exceptions, though, but I've definitely learned my lesson.

I don't know how Mummy's going to cope, but from now on, she's just going to

have to take care of her own affairs.

I'm the genie, you're the master. That's right.

I'm the master, you're my genie. You belong to me. Yes.

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free. Then you come along with

the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Genie, genie.

From down under.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Oh, yeah, all right.

TV from down under.