Original subtitles

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Teeny, teeny, from down under.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Oh, yeah, all right.

Teeny, from down under.

Dad, we're free!

I know.

You're thinking, poor Penelope's stuck in Australia again.

Well, I try not to complain too much.

Fill me another grave.

Bruce wasn't so untrustworthy and sly. I wouldn't be in this mess.

I'd be home in England.

Hang on, Conrad.

The only good thing about this ghastly place is Conrad.

I know I should despise him.

But sometimes the ways of the heart just make no sense.

And as time passes, I do think he likes me just a little bit.

Look at that toppy, nice, stuck -up palm. She makes me sick.

Hey, I know you feel all right.

But you're going to have to bang on the charm.

You'll never get anywhere near that, eh, Paul?

Come on. Them Tuckyard tourists will be looking for their Tucker.

And this is where they can find it.

The other reason I've stayed here so long is because Bruce and Baz do love

Australia. And I've let them have a bit of a working holiday, just to prove that

I am a considerate and responsible master.

OK, holiday's over.

Time's up.

We've only been here two hours. Too long.

Now, I want to go home to England.

Oh, come on, mate. You're not being fair to this great country.

Maybe we should show you around a bit.

Why don't we get out the old magic carpet and give you a bit of a look

Because I want to go back to England.

Now, I want five million pounds in cash. That's my... Whoa, whoa, whoa, mate.

I could do that for you.

But where's the money going to come from?

Well, it's got to come from somewhere. I can't just throw five million in the

pot. That'd cause inflation.

And when you make a wish, you've got to think about the consequences.

You have to be responsible for your wishes.

Instant inflation is highly irresponsible.

Right, son? Right, Dad.

Instant inflation?

A real dean, you would never mention such a thing.

I just wish you were one.

Well, you just asked for a genie proper.

So here we are in all the clobber.

I hope for you it gives a thrill because I feel like a total dill.

That's very nice, but I think I'd like to go back to England now.

Come on, Ben, let's go for a ride. Dad and me will be your guide. An amazing

trip for you is planned to show the beauty of our fair land and to give a

verdict true.

I'll leave the judgment up to you.

Over there!

Oh,

kookaburra! All part of the outfit experience.

My joy, I can't contain when I see this.

I love this place so much look at that it's completely untouched I'm not

surprised all those snakes and crocodiles

beyond belief. That's our great barrier reef.

Sharks!

Oh, a pile of tissue paper down on the shore.

Oh, Penny, don't be such a laugh.

That is the Sydney Opera House.

I've been away with Sparrow and Bear. Come on, son. Stop mucking around.

a wish, my little dish?

Yes. Then our tour has had a finish.

Oh,

your jewellery's a hobby of mine. I collect precious stones.

Oh, really?

Have you got a large collection?

Oh, a huge.

Of course, apples are my particular favourite.

Penelope's very attached to hers.

She'd never part with it.

No, of course she wouldn't.

Do you have any garnets or barrels in your collection?

I had a barrel once.

We lost one.

How about that barrel, Andy? Son, it really was quite outstanding.

Stop talking to me in all those rhymes. You've tricked me far too many times.

No more rhymes.

No more costumes, no more flying carpet.

And that's a wish.

Now, I want to go home to England and I want ten million pounds in cash.

Let's think about the pros and cons of this particular request. The ups and

downs, the consequences, the cause and effect.

The pros are I'll be home and rich. The cons are heat, dust and flies.

The ups is that I've got my own personal genie. The down is it's you.

There is nothing in this world, not one single thing I can see, that will

convince me to stay in this dump.

G'day, Pen, how's it going?

Conrad, so nice to see you again.

Good luck. Take a hike. That's a wish.

You know, I was thinking, here you are in Australia and you haven't seen any of

us, I thought I'd show you around.

Oh yes, that would be super.

Then I started to think, what would Pen like to do? What would she really enjoy?

Then he hit me, yeah, that's it.

A real Aussie treat, you'd love it. My shout, what do you reckon?

Do you want to go?

Yes, I'd love to.

I wish we were there right now.

Could only get standard, you know, but I wish we had some good seats.

I've got two tickets I can let you have real cheap.

They're very good seats.

Fancy a bite?

Thank you, partner.

Don't you wish you had something to eat?

Oh, yes.

What are you doing?

Yeah, can you open this for me?

Oh, watch out.

You're hopeful, all right? Go, doggies. Go, doggies.

You sure you don't want me to mind? You're hopeful?

No, you're fine, thank you.

Punch him out.

We should go back to town and stuff.

Thank

you,

Conrad. That was quite an experience.

Yeah, you're right.

Glad you enjoyed it.

I wish I was clean.

I can do... Don't even think about it, Beth.

Don't you wish he'd pull his head in? That'll shut him up.

Now, I want to go back to England and I want 15 million pounds in cash. Where do

you want me to get the cash? From the bank or the Royal Mint or maybe

account? I mean, technically it's stealing, but what's 15 mil among

I want to go home.

Isn't this perfect weather, darling?

Hey,

Otter.

The customers are ready and waiting for the next thrilling instalment of the

Outback Experience.

Oh, if it's too hot, they'll fry.

It'll be the Outback Expiration.

Go and tell them to watch a video on the bus.

The aircon's broken down.

I couldn't give a fat rat's.

Well, you tell them. It's your experience.

Did something happen to you, Baz?

Don't be silly, Baz.

I wish you'd pull your head out.

Well, I never.

That's better.

Don't do it again.

The wind might change and you'll stay that way.

Can you hear that, Penelope?

No, I can't actually hear anything, Mummy. Exactly.

The calm and the peace.

Can't you feel it doing you good?

What do they know?

They might know it, but I can see it doing you good.

I haven't heard any traffic for ages.

No noisy neighbors, just a lot of peace and tranquility.

Australian lady towns.

I'm Madge Brewster, chairperson of the committee of the Townsville Country

Women's Association.

And this is Mrs. Turner, Mrs. Gurner, Mrs. Werner, Mrs.

Lovett, Mrs. Glover and Mrs. Peake.

And this is Mrs. Peake's granddaughter, Kylie Bicolucci.

Charmed, I'm sure. I'm only Miss Mossop, the housekeeper.

Oh, hello.

I'm Diana Townes. Oh.

Visitor, how nice of you to call.

Would you like a cup of tea?

Oh, that would be lovely, your ladyship. Thank you.

We all brought a plate so you wouldn't be put out. Oh, very sweet.

There'll be plenty, please.

Go on, Red. Just a thought.

Do you reckon that Palmer Shield would swap the Apple for two original and

genuine Bexburn's T -shirts?

Right.

Ball. Aye.

Now, Kylie would like to recite a little poem to make you all feel well.

Come on, darling.

I wish you'd put a socket. There were crocodiles and there were sharks and

things like you and the nasty guy.

Must be a local captain.

Excuse me, I need to use the lavatory.

Wait!

Whatever you do, lift the seat first.

The seat?

The toilet seat.

It's the favourite nesting place of the red -backed spider.

A cousin of mine from Borough of Bry set on one on a toilet.

How dreadful.

Poor spider.

No more footy, no more ladies with plenty.

I want Mummy, Mother and I to be on the plane back to England. I want 15, no, 20

million pounds sterling in cash upon arrival at the airport.

And I don't want any funny business. That's my wish. Is that clear?

Where is Crystal?

No funny business.

But, uh, what about the consequences?

Where do I get the money from?

I don't care.

That's your business. You work it out. You're a genie.

Sausage rolls are Norma's speciality.

Where have they gone?

They must have gone to the toilet. They've all gone to the toilet. What are

putting in those sausage rolls, Norma?

One. Gone where?

Just gone.

They can't have just gone.

They haven't gone back to England.

If they have, it's by magic.

Nothing to declare, eh?

You know,

this is really depressing.

People just lie to me every day.

20 million pounds.

You creep, you'll pay for this. Steady on, miss.

Let's not have any funny business.

Can't you see what he's doing? He's just doing his job.

Thank you, ma 'am.

Tim! Bruce!

He can't see me.

Fix your wonder! Just a minute, miss.

This item purchased abroad, was it?

Um... Opal.

Well, I'd watch yourself if I were you.

Opal's a very bad luck, you know.

Looks like your luck just ran out, Ben.

Oh!

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Every cloud has a silver lining. Please, my dear.

Day in, day out, people lying and cheating.

I just wish I could have a bit of variety.

I say, I say, I say.

You've rubbed the opal in your hand, you're every witch without plan.

That's very nice of you.

Anything to declare?

I declare, I declare.

Three vampires go into a bloodbath. There's an Irish one, a Danish one, and

Australian. What do you want, Chef the Nerd?

We'll each have a pint, they said.

Oh, she said, you'd better go to the pub next door.

Saving my dinner money?

Inspector Grave from the yard.

Currency violation is a very serious business.

Who are you working for?

A ladyship. Not a part of the family.

Family?

Which family?

Not the one...

From Calabria. Oh, no, we're from Wiltshire, Inspector Graveyard.

Just grave, Lady Townes. I beg your pardon? No, yard, just grave.

Why are you telling me all this?

This is brutality.

No, it's my name.

It was your suitcase, miss.

Yes. Did you pack it yourself?

I do all the packing, Inspector Yardgrave.

Get out of here. Just leave me alone.

I wish I could, Miss.

But there's the consequences.

The cause and the effect?

Exactly.

You do the laundering, don't you?

Of course.

Twenty million pounds went missing from the Royal Mint.

With those exact serial numbers.

Don't say anything, Monty.

Don't get involved.

They'd never put us in prison.

Oh, my lady, the shame of it.

The shame of it.

For the last time, Penelope, how did that money get in your case?

Mummy, you wouldn't understand.

Well, I sincerely hope I wouldn't.

How did you manage to acquire £20 million from the Royal Mint?

And in unused notes.

If the newspapers get a hold of this, we're finished.

What if it's on TV?

There's only one way out.

Lots of chat shows?

No, worse.

We'd have to move to Australia.

Please don't be flippant, Penelope. No.

We'll have to hire the best lawyer in the country.

I wish we could talk to somebody.

You can talk to me.

that miserable man that's got the opal? He's not miserable anymore.

Me and Dad made him laugh.

Tell him to wish I could see someone I know.

I don't know.

I do, lads. I know. Just do it now.

Okay.

It's not a cucumber.

It's a didgeridoo.

Hey, mister, can you wish for someone that I know to see someone that Dana?

on. This is another killer.

All right.

I wish for someone you know to see someone they know.

What's the joke?

What's the quip? What's the punchline?

Tell him, Dad. You've rubbed the opal in your hand. Your every wish is our

command.

Penelope!

Marcia, Sophie.

We simply had to see you.

Mrs. Carsley.

Daddy read it in the telegraph. Oh. Mummy heard it on the radio.

Oh. And we both heard it when Miss Rook announced it over the school intercom

system. Yes.

That's when the whole school heard it. No, they didn't.

Chloe Kerrigan was at home with a cold.

She didn't hear it. She did.

I phoned her.

Oh.

Here, Penelope, we've brought you a present.

But you can only borrow it.

It's from Daddy's tool shed.

What is this?

File. What's that?

Well, it's not for your nails, Lady Town.

Let's go, Sophie. We don't want to be accessories.

Speaking of accessories, I want to buy some gloves to match my fabulous new

shoes. Goodbye, Lady Townsend. Goodbye, Mossy.

Bye, Sophie.

What made them turn?

To gloat, Mossy.

Like a nightmare.

What horror can befall us now?

Hello.

Sit up, Diana.

Hello, Mothra.

Hello, Penelope.

Don't tell us why you're here.

Well, I won't. But I heard about your situation on the radio, then I read

it in the newspapers, and finally I saw it on the television. So I've come to

get you out.

Thank heavens.

Is this due to your position in society, Lord Accrington's mind?

No, Mothra. It's due to £20 ,000 bail money.

Oh, and that Australian chap persuaded the customs man to give this to you,

Vanellope. He seemed to feel it might cheer you up.

Thank you, Bubbles. You don't know what this means to me.

What about the 20 million pounds?

And the bail money we owe, Bubbles.

Oh, Diana, there are all sorts of ways you can repay me, my beloved.

Don't doubt that.

I wish the money was back where it came from and the whole incident forgotten.

I know you're in there, and I wish you'd come out in ten seconds.

Shouldn't be long now.

Here he comes.

Bruce has been trying to teach me to be more responsible for the consequences of

my wishes.

I understand what he's getting at.

To complete that game.

I'm the genie. You're the master.

That's right. I'm the master. You're my genie. You belong to me. Yes.

I've served a lot of masters throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along.

With the opal in your hand, now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie, from down under.

Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Genie, genie, from down under. I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right then.

Genie from down under.