Original subtitles

Hello. I'm Penelope Town.

And this is my home, Town Hall.

Slightly run down, I know.

But I'm not worried.

Soon it's going to be fixed and fabulous again.

You see, Mummy's getting married today.

Everything's going to change because Mummy's dreadfully in love with Bubbles.

And he's going to restore the hall to its former glory.

Hi, Penelope.

Rainy in here too, huh?

Really, I hadn't noticed.

Oh, I hope it stops before the wedding.

Yes.

There are paying guests.

Americans, in case you haven't noticed.

Well, at least they haven't stolen the silverware like those Australians.

But after today, no more yes, sir, and no, ma 'am. Mummy and I will be free

again. And happy.

Yoo -hoo! Penelope!

Master, I can't stand them.

Critical.

Marcia, Sophie, it's so good to see you. Come here. Penelope, I'm Sophie. Your

mother has found me a banker. I mean, a husband.

Thank you, Marcia.

Your mum is in love. It must be such a relief.

At last, they'll have the money to pay for your school fees.

Yes. Isn't this another way of watering the flowers?

Yes. In -house irrigation.

Hello, Lady Towns. You must be so happy.

Yes. All these flowers. They're so beautiful.

It's like a funeral parlour.

Miss Penelope. Yes, Marcy. Be a dear and go up to the attic. We need some more

of ours. Look in that old trunk.

Won't be long.

Can't wait.

Miss you already.

I just don't like this.

Not scared?

See?

I'm not scared.

Sorry about us, mate. We've been stuck inside that tiny opal for about 130

and we've gone a bit troppo.

I'll tell you what, mate, we've been looking forward to this moment.

I can't wait to smell the eucalyptus in the water.

I've been dreaming about the sunshine.

And the way the hot wind comes off the desert round about the sunset.

Dad! On the dawn chorus. I can't wait to hear that carowong chorus.

Dad!

I don't know how to tell you this, son, but I don't think we're in Australia.

Where are we?

Where's that, Dad? I've never heard of it.

Hey, where are you going?

Don't be scared. We're just a couple of genies.

No wonder we forgot to tell her.

My son was trying to say. Get away from me.

Don't kill me.

Don't kill me.

Don't kill me. Don't kill me.

Don't kill me. Don't kill me.

Don't kill me. Don't kill

me.

There have been any Australians here.

But... I think you'd better have a lie down before the wedding. You're a bit

overexcited. Of the man? And the little boy?

Of course, the one.

Really,

Mummy, I'm all right.

You get some rest now.

You're my maid of honour, and I want you to look especially beautiful. Don't you

worry, my dears. Lord Accrington Smythe will make all our wishes come true. Now

you get some rest.

I'm a genie and it's my start.

I'm a junior genie. And you're our master. Your every wish is our command.

You have one complete day of unlimited wishing. Then you have to send us to

Australia and set us free. It's pretty straightforward.

Any questions?

Genius live in lamps, don't they?

Yeah, I used to live in a lamp. Lovely lamp it was too, but I got banished.

Why?

You know the Great Wall of China?

It was supposed to be in Egypt.

Also, there was a small indiscretion with the grand magician's wife.

And out popped the young bloke.

Well, the grand magician was so cheesed off that he stuck us in the middle of an

opal, in the middle of a mine, in the middle of a desert, in the middle of...

that great southern land.

What are you doing here in the middle of Wiltshire? Well, it's a long story.

I've got time.

Okay. We've been stuck inside that opah for 134 years, nine months, six days, 18

hours, 37 and a half minutes, not that we're counting.

And last time we were out, we were in Australia, and our master was a pommy

by the name of Claude Townes.

I'll have you know that Sir Claude Townes was my great -great -great

-grandfather. Oh, well, Claudie wasn't too bad a bloke for a pom.

Very disrespectful.

Anyway, I'm not sure that I believe your genie.

Fair enough.

No skin off my nose.

If you, uh, don't believe we're genies, you won't win any wishes then.

Maybe you could do us a favour and say, I wish you were both back in Australia

and we'll be off like a bucket of prawns in the sun.

You won't hear from us again.

Um, yes, just a minute.

Say it, mate, and we'll be gone.

I think I'd like you to hang around, just to be sure.

Is that a wish?

Yes.

What are you doing?

Just hanging around.

That was your wish.

Penelope, are you all right? Yes, coming.

Look, I wish you'd just disappear.

I understand that you'd like me to go away, but I was hoping we could have a

chat.

I wasn't talking to you.

Oh, to whom were you talking?

She was talking to us.

Will you be quiet?

I'm sorry.

Penelope, are you all right?

Yes.

Come in.

Thank you.

It's all right. I understand.

Marriage can be very terrible for anyone concerned.

That's why I was rather hoping that we could have a bit of a father -son, a

mother and daughter, a bit of a chat.

Just don't the bloke your mum's marrying.

Be quiet.

I'm sorry. I'm not talking to you. It's all right. I understand.

You know, Penelope...

You probably think of me as a bit of an old fuddy -duddy, a bit of a square.

But I'm really quite him. As a matter of fact, I'm a bit of a cool dude.

So you shouldn't feel that you're losing a mummy, rather that you're gaining a

daddy. And I will be their daddy, and therefore I will love you and be there

you in a very caring, sharing sort of way. So we should be very positive and

upbeat about the whole thing.

Do you know where I'm coming from?

I'm thrilled you and mummy are getting married.

And I think we'll make a matching daddy.

Really? Oh!

Thank you, Penelope. Oh, I'm so happy. That's exactly what I needed to hear.

I've been so worried, so uptight about the whole thing. If I was you, I'd be

worried, too.

Will you be quiet?

It's all right. That's cool. I know you're not talking to me. Being a

isn't easy, and I can dig that.

Well, I'm glad we've had this little chat, Penelope.

I'll see you in church, then.

Bye, Penelope.

Penelope, give me a file.

How the bloke your mum's going to marry?

That's right.

They're in love.

How can anyone love boobie?

I think there's a few sheep short in the top paddy. You two are the prudest

people I've ever met.

I've never been so embarrassed.

Miss Penelope, be a dear and take some coffee to Mr and Mrs Hemingway.

Oh, Marty, they're so boring.

Well, everyone has to be pitied. Take me, now.

Her ladyship owes me £3 ,131 .47 in back salary

to last Friday, but I never mention it.

Oh, I've noticed.

Because I know my place.

And I know Lord Accrington -Smith and her ladyship will see me right once

they're married. Now, be a dear and help with our paying guests.

I wish they'd just go and jump in a lake.

Your wish.

Definitely.

That was just great.

I really feel as if I've found myself.

Oh, Diana, you've got to try that sometime.

You should put it in your brochure. Oh, yeah.

I've heard it's very popular in California.

A coffee?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I have done other weddings, you know.

This is meant to be a traditional English wedding. That's why we're having

presents. That's Fendaloo. It's not traditional British fare.

Everyone has curry nowadays.

But you don't have curry sauce with plum pudding.

Everything under control, Mossy.

Oh, yes, my lady. Don't you worry about a thing. This is going to be one of the

happiest days of your life.

Yes.

She's getting married to Booby.

Oh.

He's up, mate. You wear it out.

Now, I've been thinking...

I'm not saying I believe that you are a genius, but if you were, well, then, if

I wish for a beautiful day for Mummy's wedding, would you be able to do that?

Well, yeah. I should be able to rustle up a few rice for you.

Well, then, I wish it were a beautiful day.

That should make my mother happy.

She'll never be happy if she has another baby bloke.

Bubble. His friends call him Bubble. And he happens to be one of the richest men

in England. And Mummy's going to be very, very happy. So there.

Yeah, well, she's only doing it for you.

Don't be ridiculous.

Mummy's in love.

If you could be a fly on the wall right now, you'd see how unhappy your mother

really is.

Oh, is that so?

Well, I wish I were then, so I could prove you wrong.

It's a beautiful day after all, my lady.

Correct me.

Tell me, your ladyship, how do you feel about curried ice cream?

I was thinking about my first wedding.

How different to war.

How happy I felt.

Exactly. I think curry port is taking it a bit too far.

I don't think I can go through with it, Martha.

Oh, but it's too late now to get a new caterer.

Besides your husband -to -be, he loves curry.

I don't love him, Mother.

I don't think I can go through with it.

Lady Sheffield, you have no choice in the matter.

It's too late.

The guests be already on their way. The curried hors d 'oeuvres are being

prepared as we speak.

You have to marry Lord Accrington Smythe.

For the sake of Townshall.

For Miss Penelope.

I didn't know.

Get out of here!

That was great, Dad.

I think I want to be alone.

It'll be cold and wet.

Still perfect weather for a curry, eh, Edward?

Oh, yes.

I'm a bit of a connoisseur. I love a curry.

Especially the pineapple bits.

But, Mr. Nelligan, it was with you, my lady.

Who's going to walk down the aisle?

I'll have to do it.

into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be

joined.

Therefore, if any man could show any just cause why they may not

lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else

hereafter forever hold his peace.

I'm really sorry, Mummy. Don't say another word.

I have never been so humiliated in my whole life.

I beg your pardon?

No worries.

Aren't you going to introduce us, Pen?

Do you know this gentleman?

Well, sort of. He's a genuine Australian.

And his name is... Um... Bruce.

Bruce.

Good day.

And this is Bruce's son, Barry.

Are you in charge of the marquee, Bruce?

Uh... Take it down, please. We won't be needing it now.

Come with me, young lady.

I wish you'd do as she says, Bruce.

Whatever will they think of?

Turned out to be a nice day after all.

You did the wrong thing at the right time.

The question now is, how on earth are we going to keep the town's war?

Don't worry.

Something will turn up.

Hi, Fred.

Thank you.

But it wasn't such a hard decision.

After all, we don't need Bubba's money anymore, do we?

You don't? Not when I've got you.

Ah. I don't just have you for one day.

I can have you for as long as I like, can't I?

Strictly speaking, I suppose that is technically true.

And I can have as many wishes as I want.

Really? Is that so?

I don't even have to set you free if I don't feel like it. Looks like she's on

to us, Dad.

I wouldn't say that, son.

Can't even hold the opal, can you? I don't know what you mean.

Hold out your hand.

A

genie

cannot hold his own lamp. Or in your case, opal.

Only a human can hold it.

See?

It's in the genie book.

I've got the opal, so I've got you.

Forever.

Fair enough, pet.

So anyway, I was thinking, if you've ever been to Australia, it's beautiful

time of year. I have no intention of going to Australia.

I won't be feeling dead down there. The very idea of it makes me sick.

You just don't like Australia.

I guess we'll have to accept then that we're never going to see our beloved

homeland again.

I want to make some wishes now.

I want to be rich.

I want to be a woman of property.

The old I want to be rich wish.

How much would you like to be worth?

I won't be greedy. Say, 20 million pounds?

Yes, master.

The property?

Property? What property?

The property you've just inherited down under.

Down under what?

Here in Australia, silly.

500 square miles.

That's exciting.

How much is it worth?

20 million pounds.

G'day, Penn.

She's not quite our rememberer, but...

Couple of coats of paint, a wish or two, she'll be right as rain.

No worries.

I'm the genie, you're the master.

That's right.

I'm the master, you're my genie. You belong to me. Yes.

I've served a lot of masters.

Throughout history.

Now I want to go back home where I can be free.

Then you come along with the opal in your hand.

Now your every wish is my command. That's right.

Genie, genie from down on earth. Make my wish come true.

Dream on.

Genie, genie from down on earth.

I wish you'd do what I want you to.

Ah, yeah, all right.