Original subtitles

- For fuck's sakes. - We're not late!

No, I know, but I'm gonna throw up.

- Okay!

- I got it. I got it.

Shit.

- It's good.

...Mats Sundin is the sleepiest

of all out there.

He's a proven NHL talent,

but not scoring like the Leafs need him...

Your 9 o'clock is here.

- Where's Brock? - His office.

- Mr. Balsillie, you wanted to see this report.

- Talk to Shelley.

- I finally understand that quote.

"When you grow up, your heart dies."

That's from Breakfast Club. John Hughes.

- Do you hear that?

- Uh, yeah. Are you talking about that buzzing?

- Mm-hmm. - Uh-huh. It's an office.

I'm sure they've got a million little buzzes.

It's a subtle buzzing.

- There. - You've identified it.

What?

"Made in China." The mark of the beast.

Uh, uh... Um.

Mike? - I can't concentrate.

- And so what? You're going to fix this?

- I'm going to fix it.

- Uh. Now... now's not the time.

The meeting starts in like two minutes.

Now's not the time. Now's not the time.

- Um... I need like a, uh, paperclip.

- That's a guy's thing. That's a guy's fucking thing.

There's no off switch. I mean, it's just always on,

so it's just always buzzing. - Uh-huh. Yeah.

Um. Well...

Oh, fuck. Okay. Yeah, go fast.

You can tell him, he's not... He's not gonna get steel.

Alloys, Harry.

I'll call you back.

- They're outside.

- These guys really are Dutch, huh?

- Uh, listen, Rick, I've thought about this a lot.

And if these guys take the deal,

I wanna run the new division.

- Think you can run this place?

- Yes. Yes.

- Me too.

Just so we're clear.

If this thing doesn't go, we never had this conversation.

- Gr... great. Um...

Thank you.

- Uh, there's one adjustment.

Apparently, the Americans offered them

some fancy tax splitting plan.

So we need to show them the Canadian version.

- I don't have that. - I know.

Callaghan worked something up last minute.

We're gonna bring him in to explain it.

- Callaghan?

Uh... You know what, I think that's a bad idea.

- Why is that?

- I'll tell you what, Rick. Why don't you have Callaghan

explain the tax thing to me, and I'll just...?

I'll work it into my pitch. I think that's better.

- Callaghan was up all night

putting this together as a favour to me.

- Okay... - He gets to present.

- Rick, I mean...

You're gonna have this guy present to Stork?

I mean, he looks like a...

A fuckin'...

A total goof.

- Jim... I'm not asking.

- Okay, great.

- Um... okay, bald, scary-looking guy

walking towards us right now.

- Ah! Goddamn it!

Mike...

Got it.

- Watch the fuck out! - Oh, shit!

Sit down, sit down!

- Much better.

- Yeah. What can I do for ya?

- Yes. Hi. Uh, I'm Mike Lazaridis,

CEO of Research in Motion.

Um, we create various computer hardware systems

using both custom-designed integrated circuits,

as well as off-the-shelf components

provided by major hardware vendors

such as Intel, American Micro Devices, and Cyrix.

Our clients have included:

U.S. Robotics, Rogers CanTel,

RAM Mobile Data... - Just a second.

Hey, you're on Callaghan's desk, right?

Okay, great. This is Jim Balsillie.

Brock wanted me to do a quick proof of that tax stuff before the meeting.

Could you bring me a...

Exactly. Okay, great. Thanks.

Okay, uh... what is this?

- So, we... we had a shop teacher...

- Fuck!

- Told us... oh. We had a shop teacher in high school

named Mr. Micsinszki who told us,

"The person who puts a computer inside a phone

will change the world."

Well, we have a plan to piggyback

on the unused bandwidth of the UHF spectrum

to create an all-in-one mobile device.

Um, Callaghan's assistant is here to see you?

Send him in.

Great.

- Sorry, Mr. Balsillie. No one, uh...

I didn't realize you needed a copy of this tax report...

- Yeah, I'm in a meeting right now.

- So, basically,

there is a free wireless Internet signal

all across North America

and nobody has figured out how to use it.

There's free Internet in this room right now.

- It's like the Force.

Sorry, have you seen Star Wars?

- No.

- So, okay, picture a pager,

a cell phone and an e-mail machine all in one thing.

- Uh, we call it, uh... Pocket Link.

- Okay. Uh, listen, we don't do anything like that here.

We are a commercial manufacturing company.

You want to talk to a VC guy.

And you need a better name.

- You're going to cry? Mike.

Oh, it's just disappointment?

- Yeah. - You did great!

- Well, I saw that Rick sent the limo to pick you guys up.

We must need this merger worse than I thought.

So I know we have a lot to cover, but um...

I thought we should start with our tax strategy.

Now, I'm sure you heard it from the Americans,

but let me assure you, we also know

how to cheat on our taxes here in Canada.

Okay?

Here's what we can do.

We run payroll out of Ontario.

But we pay all our vendors from the Netherlands.

We split that fucker right in half.

The left won't know what the right is doing.

Plus, we get a nice little provincial kickback

on manufacturing labour.

We get a massive federal tax credit

because they don't know whether we're private or public.

- Beam me aboard.

- Taken prisoner and held captive

within the digital world of the computer itself.

♪ Riding on any wave ♪

♪ That is the luck you crave ♪

♪ They don't believe it now ♪

♪ They just think it's stupid ♪

♪ So got anything? ♪

♪ Anyone could have done ♪

♪ Who would've cared at all ♪

♪ Not you ♪

♪ Another heart ♪

- Hello? - Hello!

- So what you're saying is that we just touch and talk.

♪ I don't understand how a heart is a spade ♪

♪ But somehow the vital connection is made ♪

- You can use your cellular phone to order me a pizza.

And that includes 50 minutes of airtime.

- We'll page you!

- It's very hip to be on the Internet right now.

- Hack the planet! - Hack the planet!

And I still think Apple has a future.

The way out is not to slash and burn. It's to innovate.

♪ Riding on anything ♪

♪ Anything's good enough ♪

♪ Who would've thought it of ♪ ♪

- Uh, okay, here's what I think. Mike, super simple,

hit them with the "good news, bad news" routine.

"Good news, bad news" routine. Right? They're going to say...

Mike!

Wait!

Everything's gonna be fine,

we still have the U.S. Robotics deal.

We're like a... What did the cave say about Aladdin?

"Diamond in the rough"?

- Fuck! - What?

I forgot the easel.

- Now we have to change the name.

The product needs a new name. - You're giving that guy

way too much credit, man. He hasn't seen Star Wars. He's bald.

How much you wanna bet they don't even mention the phone?

Are you "Office Dad"?

Dude, I can't... Make a, make a, make a thing.

- I can't. I can't. I can't.

That's why I'm using your computer.

- "21BoyCanada."

That's me.

Uh, this guy's telling me about sniffing his...

sniffing his...

- Did they buy the phone?

- So, we got good news and bad news.

The... okay. The bad news is that...

Yeah, the presentation... We were not heard.

And they did not understand the product.

And so, they did not buy the phone.

- What was the good news? - What's the good news?

- Emergency movie night. Right now.

Stephen Spielberg's Raiders of the Lost Ark. Letterboxed...

- Oh yes. - Oh yeah.

- No way! - Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun!

- I got it. - Shotgun!

You said their headpiece only had markings on one side.

Are you absolutely sure?

Belloq's staff is too long.

They're digging in the wrong place.

Bad dates.

- Bad dates.

- A couple of bad dates.

Couple of bad dates! Couple of bad dates!

If that was there, why'd they go the other way?

Mike, you're missing your favourite movie, man!

I told you not to be premature in your communique to Berlin!

Are they top or bottom left?

- Go, I've got my whole troop.

- Send, send everything.

Top left, let's take a gamble.

- Anybody have a Type-C coax?

- They don't even know. I'm not even top left.

- Scott, you're attacking me! - What?!

- You're attacking me. - Oh, I'm sorry.

Send the dogs, Ethan. Send the dogs. They're rushing.

- Bottom right. Dude, they've got rockets!

- Nobody have any Type-C coax cables?

- Oh, the plunger's moving!

- No! - The plunger's moving, dude!

- No! No! Don't ch...

Oh, shit!

- I'm sorry, boys, but it's back!

It's back!

It's back!

- Thank you. - Thank you so much.

- Nothing for me, thanks.

So, I know how to sell your phone.

I know how to market it, and I know who we can sell it to.

- Who?

- What do you mean "we"?

- Here's the deal.

I will leave my job at Sutherland-Schultz

if you make me CEO of Research in Motion.

- Are you serious?

- That was the worst product pitch I've ever seen in my life.

You guys don't stand a chance out there. You need me.

- Sorry... I don't know who you think you are,

but we are just fine.

We have a 16-million dollar deal with U.S. Robotics.

- 16 million? - That's right.

- Wow. Okay. And what did they buy?

- Modems. Ever heard of 'em?

- Are they like the Force in Star Wars?

- Very funny. You know, your logo literally is S.S.?

- And how much have they paid you on that 16 million?

- Yeah, nothing. - Zero?

- Nothing yet. We haven't delivered the modems.

- Well, we shipped them product samples months ago and...

Their accounting department won't even return our phone calls.

- Yeah, but they're gonna... What... They're going to pay us.

We have a 16-million dollar deal with U.S. Robotics.

- Yeah, so, uh, you guys are getting fucked.

- Why would you... Why do think? Why do you say that?

- Well, because I would do the same thing.

Little operation like yours...

They know they can withhold payment

'til the last possible second and then crush you.

These guys, they're... they're pirates.

- Uh-huh. P...

Uh, we got it. Thank you. Um...

How do you know anything...?

What the fuck do I care? Um, how much money do you got?

Yeah, um...

- Okay. Guys. - Two... two fifty.

- Here's what I'm going to do.

I will give you $20,000 cash, today.

I'll sell the phone, I'll work out this problem with USR,

but I want 50% of the company,

and I've gotta be CEO.

- Fuck. - That's... I...

- Are you joking? No. Obviously... Obviously, no. No!

- We should digest it. - Mike!

- Okay. Okay. - Who is in charge here?

- Oh, I mean, technically... - Mike is in charge,

and he says no.

- I... I am in charge

and I say...

...sorry.

- You don't need to do what this guy says!

We just met him! He's not your dad.

Okay.

Thanks.

Thank you.

- Very sassy man, wouldn't you say?

He had a...

He had a sass...

- Modems, ever heard of those or whatever? Like...

- Oh, no, I sassed him too, but he sassed me back.

And what he's trying to say, like,

we don't have our modem deal.

U.S. Robotics, how may I direct your call?

Uh, yeah, it's Mike Lazaridis from Research in Motion.

We're actually building some circuit boards for you guys.

One moment please.

Mike! Is that you?

Yes. Hi. Um, I was just wondering if, um...

if it would all... it'd be at all possible for us to, uh...

invoice you for the first half,

or, uh, third of our... of your order from us. If...

Can we... can we invoice you for some of our... your order?

What?

What?

- If that's okay. - Did you not get my fax?

- Uh, we don't have a fax machine.

Mike...

Those modems you sent us back in March.

They were defective.

- I'm sorry, what?

Yeah. They didn't work.

We had to cancel the whole order.

But this was months ago, buddy.

I really thought you guys had a fax machine.

Hey, I'll tell you what, why don't you let me make it up to ya?

I'll have USR send you one, free of charge. On me. Okay?

- Um... yeah, okay. Thanks.

Great, okay! Well, good luck, Mike.

- Yeah. - Bye-bye!

Bye.

- What?

Here's what you gotta do. You gotta call him back.

You gotta Glengarry Glen Ross this guy. You gotta grind him!

- Yeah. I don't think I can grind him.

- This is exactly what that Rolex Guy said was gonna happen, right?

He predicted it. What did he say?

He said, "U.S. Robotics are pirates."

He was fucking dead on.

I...

Hey. Steve? - Yeah?

- I need the phone line.

- Some guy is trying to say Noonian Soong is a Q...

- Thank... yep, thanks. - Alright!

- What are you doing?

- I think we should take this deal.

No. No...

So, you don't get into business with people like this.

That guy is sketchy.

- I think he's... I don't think he's sketchy.

- His business card is literally sketched out.

The guy's a shark.

- Okay, do you know... do you know who's afraid of sharks?

Pirates.

- Oh, fuck.

- Um. So uh... um...

we've been talking here and we, we, um...

We would like to make a counter offer.

- "You came crawling back. Like bugs. Like grubs."

- Yeah, um, so, we would like to offer you...

Low.

- 10% for...

$500,000.

- "Are you out of your fucking mind?!

I look at a 100,000 deals a day. I pick one!"

Is that the quote?

"No. I look at 100 deals a day. I pick one!"

Wall Street.

- Uh, okay. Uh, um...

Uh, 25% for $250,000.

- "50% for 50 bucks!"

- 33% for $125,000

and you can run the company with me.

- Mike! No! No! "Yes, deal. Deal."

- Okay... - Easy. Dude.

It's going to be totally fine.

You're gonna negotiate this guy to death.

Scores! He fooled everybody!

- Yeah? - Hi, Jim!

It's Mike Lazaridis from Research in Motion.

We met at the office the other day.

Low.

So, we'd like to offer you...

33% of our company for $125,000

and you and I would be co-CEOs.

No! No!

Sure.

- Deal.

- Awesome! Awesome!

Dude! Mike!

Scott! Scott! He did it!

- What do you mean? - Have you not heard anything

that's been going on in this room?

- Maybe you should tell him about the modems.

- Oh! Where do you want to put him?

- What the fuck is this?

- That's uh, yeah, everyone builds their own desk.

That's a tradition. - Yeah. I'm not doing that.

- Um, U.S. Robotics pulled out of the deal.

- Told ya. What's our exposure?

- Exposure?

- How much money did you spend on the modems?

- Oh. Uh, 1.6 million.

- One point what? - What?

- We've... spent 1.6 million in materials and labour.

- Where did you get $1.6 million?

- I got a loan from the Bank of Montreal.

Mike, come on...

- Get me U.S. Robotics!

- Uh, sorry, who are you talking to? - Yeah.

What the fuck is that?

- Oh. Um, that's called a carrier wave.

The calling modem is... - Leave it.

Hey! Get off the fucking Internet!

- Mike?

No, no, no. - I think it's Casey. - Uh-huh.

It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine.

What?

You don't get to talk to our team like that.

He doesn't get to... - Shh!

- Mike! - Hi, actually no,

this is Jim Balsillie. I'm CEO here now.

- Co-CEO.

- Okay, Jim, what can I do for ya?

- I wanna talk about these modems.

- Well, there's nothing to talk about, sadly.

We can't accept a defective product.

- Let's cut the bullshit here.

2.5 million all in for the entire order.

- Yeah, no. Can't do it, Jim.

- Then, I'll decimate it for you. 1.6 million.

And if you don't take that,

I'll turn around and sell 'em to Rockwell for even less.

Nice negotiation.

- Okay. How about this? We'll take the modems

if you throw in the patent on Mike's phone.

- What phone?

- I thought we weren't bullshitting each other, Jim.

We've been building our own for a year. We want...

- How long to build a prototype of the phone?

- Pocket Link? Yeah, um, a year.

- A yea... no, no, no. A prototype, Mike.

A shell I can wave around at a meeting.

It could be a complete piece of shit.

- No, it can't... We're not doing that.

- No. Mike's not doing that.

- Listen to me. U.S. Robotics is building their own phone.

We are now in a race to get this thing to market

and we're a year behind.

So I don't care what you need to do,

get these fucking nerds to drop everything

and build this fucking phone!

What?!

- Sorry, guys. Um... uh...

My girlfriend tried to cash my cheque this morning

and it bounced. Um...

And she said I'm not supposed to come in here, allowed...

I shouldn't come in here anymore.

And, uh, she agreed

I won't be coming in here any longer until I'm getting paid.

I can fix this.

Okay, Research in Motion.

Looks like your account has exceeded its overdraft balance.

- Didn't they just deposit a cheque for $125,000 from me?

Yes.

- Okay... Alright. Um...

I have a mortgage with you guys. Can we pull that up please?

- Spell your last name, please?

- B-a-I-s-i-I-I-i-e.

- Balsillie? - Balsillie.

- Alright, everybody! Listen up!

From now on, cheques will be coming every two weeks.

You will come get them from Shelley. This is Shelley.

- Hi!

- Alright. That's you, Shel.

Mike!

- Me too? - Yeah, sure.

- Um, sorry, who... so who is Shelley?

Shelley?

- Oh, dude. That thing's haunting you.

No, I'm motivating you.

And don't call me "that thing." I'm your boss.

- No, no, you're not. - Yeah?

- Get me John Woodman at Bell Atlantic.

- You got it. - Wait, um... What are you doing?

- We're selling the phone. Mike, I need a prototype.

- I told you, I don't, I... - Mike.

Connecting you.

- Guys. We are over a million dollars in debt with no assets,

no contracts, and no products.

- John Woodman's office. - Hi! This is Jim Balsillie,

CEO of Research in Motion.

- Co-CEO. - One moment, please.

Shut the fuck up!

- Okay?

- Yeah, uh...

- No! He said there's no phone!

- I'm not asking you!

Mike.

- Okay. - Okay?

Well, what do you mean, "okay"? No. No.

Wait, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

- John Woodman. - Mr. Woodman!

I am about to make you insanely rich.

- Mike does not agree with this.

He just fucking did!

- That was duress! Okay?!

You're manipulating him! It's obvious!

What do you want me to do?

- What?

- So, there's a reason why

your intercom is emitting white noise.

It's because it was manufactured in China

by engineers who didn't care.

And now every office in the world

has to suffer an annoying hiss,

a blinking red light,

15 different power cords

that are utterly incompatible with one another.

So, um... We're not doing that.

We are not just adding to the hiss.

I will build a prototype,

but I'll do it perfectly or I don't do it.

- Mike, are you familiar with the saying,

"Perfect is the enemy of good?"

- Well, "good enough" is the enemy of humanity.

Shelley, get John Woodman back on, please.

- I reach out, hang up the phone.

And he does the slow...

...look up.

But I'm not blinking.

It was like one of those manga anime moments

where all time stops... - Yeah.

- I see the floor,

I see the little specs of dust on the ground,

I see my mom, you know, like, I hear the wind,

everything stops. And I'm like, okay,

so it will be a physical fight. - Yeah.

- If it's skin-to-skin contact between me and the bald man,

done. Tasmanian devil,

and Mike shall have to take cover on the side.

Because I'm gonna lose it.

But it doesn't get there.

- Oh, shit.

- Because Mike steps in,

"Bitch,

I tell you when we set the goddamn meeting."

And he backs off.

- Alright. Woodman wants to see it.

We're going to Bell Atlantic tomorrow.

- What? What?

- New York City. Tomorrow.

- But, but he'd said... - You've got 'til 8 a.m.

- To do what?

- So you didn't call him a bitch, did you?

Okay, okay...

Okay, uh, new plan everybody,

we are all going to chip in and build this thing tonight, okay?

- Alright. Give me a Fillmore toggle switch, give me a 33 PF.

- Yeah. - Uh, I think it's like,

something kind of like a hybrid of one. So I like the...

We're back!

- What feels better?

- That's why to me, like,

remote controls, you know,

things that people are used to touching,

and the buttons need to be small enough that...

- Connection's lost, it's... - Taking off?

- Yeah. I'll see you guys tomorrow?

- Uh, yeah.

- So add in the lithium ion...

Still hot. Still hot.

You're good.

I had a dream we were rich.

"And sometimes my dreams occur exactly as I dreamt them."

- Mike! Let's go!

- What's that from?

- Dune.

Ah-ha!

- You'll get dressed at the airport.

- Oh, yeah. Thank you. Um...

Should Doug come with us or...?

- No.

'Cause...

He has a lot to do with this.

- He's a goof. Get in the car.

- I think he really wants to come.

- Let me tell you the best advice I ever got at Harvard.

If you wanna be great, you need to sacrifice.

And the more painful the sacrifice,

the greater you'll be.

- He... he's my best friend.

- Okay, great, I saw him put a toilet plunger on a computer.

Attention passengers on flight AC42 to New York.

Your flight is now boarding.

- Mike.

Oh, Mike...

Oh, come on...

So, if you hear me crinkling a piece of paper,

that means stop talking.

- Like, in general or...?

No. In...

in the pitch.

- Oh. Yeah. Gotcha.

- Hey, we gotta move here, man! My wife's in labour. Let's go!

- May... may I ask why your business card had

the phone number crossed out?

- I have no idea what you're talking about.

- Hey, let's make a deal, okay?

You and I never lie to each other.

- Sure.

I didn't quit my job. I was fired.

And I just mortgaged my house to pay our staff.

So, if this doesn't work out, I'm fucked.

- Why did they fire you?

- 'Cause they're idiots.

Hi. Research in Motion?

- How are ya? - Fantastic.

Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water?

- We're good. We're good. - Okay.

They'll be with you shortly. - Okay, thank you.

- Alright. - Great.

- Jim... - No, no, no, no.

Never take the drinks.

Thirst is a display of weakness.

- No. I may have forgotten the phone...

- Please tell me you're joking.

- No, I'm completely serious.

Fuck!

Alright, here's what we're gonna do.

I need you to draw out a little sketch. - Okay.

Okay? Something that shows the keyboard

just like you did in my office. Okay?

- Yeah, okay. - Uh, excuse me, miss,

could I trouble you for a pen and paper, please?

- They're ready for you.

- Great.

- Oh wait, wait. Here he is. Hey.

- Hi - Hi.

- How are you? - I'm good.

- We're good. We uh... Are we waiting for anyone?

- I'm alone.

- Okay.

Good.

Alright, guys. Here's how I see it.

Right, now... I know your marketing team tells you

that you sell togetherness,

family, or "staying connected," or whatever.

But, let's be honest.

You sell minutes.

Period. I mean, your market is minutes.

So your biggest competitor isn't other cell phone companies,

it's home phones and office phones.

Those are free minutes. Those are wasted minutes.

So, how do we get those minutes back?

We reinvent the cell phone.

We put a computer in it. We put the Internet in it.

We make your cell phone so fucking useful

that you never have to come to the office again.

Does e-mail, text messaging. However you want to communicate.

Total individualism all-in-one device

that fits in your fist.

So, you can tell your marketing team

you're not selling togetherness anymore.

You're selling self-reliance.

You are not a tech guy, are ya?

- I'm not a...

The whole world...

the whole fucking world

is trying to do e-mails on cell phone.

We had an entire division working on it for,

I don't know, eight months or so?

You know how many phones

they got to work at the same time?

11.

It's a network that's built for pagers. That's all it can do.

You're in La La Land on this...

on this one, kiddo. You got...

I think, you know, some nerds took you for a ride.

- Okay.

Mike. What happened?

It won't work.

- What do you mean, it won't work? - Mike.

They tried it already.

- How did you try this already?

- You guys, I think the meeting's over.

- Did you just put your devices directly on the network

as though they were clients?

- Uh, that's right.

- Yeah. Right, and so, what'd that get you, like...

10 phones working at the same time?

Yeah, okay. Here, just hold this a sec.

Okay, so, here's your issue:

um, when you use a phone as a client, what's it doing?

It's just sitting on your network,

constantly asking the same question,

"Did I get an e-mail? Did I get an e-mail? Did I get an e-mail?"

So it is forever pulling on your servers

whether you got an e-mail or not. We have a fix, okay?

So, we are gonna build... a giant computer

that will act as a sort of massive client,

that is hard-wired directly to the Internet

with our phone as server.

Okay? So when a user gets an e-mail,

Waterloo pulls it in, packages it, and then...

sends it.

We engage with your network, maybe a split second, like...

Like, less time than that.

- So how, how much... I'm sorry, how many...

- A month's worth of traffic

would be less bandwidth than a local phone call.

So you could have half a million devices working simultaneously.

- Can we see it?

- Yeah. Yeah, so it's a prototype.

So it's a long way off from, um...

Oh, it's just a long, long way off.

It's a prototype.

Well, it's definitely the world's...

largest pager.

- Uh, no, it's actually the world's smallest e-mail terminal.

- Sorry.

I see. This is, uh...

Oh, this, this...

Yeah.

- Uh, so, try it with your thumbs.

Try typing with your thumbs.

Oh, yeah.

What do you call it?

Subtitling: difuze