Original subtitles

[Thunder]

[Thunder]

[Thunder]

[♪♪♪]

♪ I got a space hopper baby but it's strictly one seater ♪

♪ You got to hold on baby to my special features ♪

♪ Gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride with you ♪

♪ Gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride with you ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I got a hop hopper baby but it's strictly for hire ♪

♪ Gonna hire it to you go higher, go higher ♪

♪ Gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride with you ♪

♪ Gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride with you ♪

♪ Alright ♪

♪ I got a space train baby got a space hopper too ♪

♪ She's hitting me harder, she's hitting me harder ♪

♪ Gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride with you ♪

♪ Gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride, gonna ride with you ♪

♪ Gonna ride, gonna ride with you ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ With you ♪

[Construction noises]

Hey. Come on.

I tell you a hundred times a day,

stay out of here.

Damn.

Alright!

Good.

Now you get to be a member of the club.

That's okay. I'm not the joiner type.

I mean, you wouldn't want a guy like me.

We already voted. You're in.

What do you know.

You want to see the... clubhouse?

Uh... I've got homework.

My sister, she's making me--

Too scared?

Me? Scared? Ha ha.

Uh...

[Creak]

BILLY: Well, what do you think?

JESSE: Oh, uh... a little old-fashioned

for my taste-- Burial, I mean.

I'm more into stuff,

like, you know, cremation, where you

scatter the ashes out of the plane,

throw them in the ocean,

maybe even have

your favorite music playing.

BILLY: Okay, okay! Come on.

There it is.

That's the clubhouse?

Yeah. You want to make something of it?

No. It's great.

Okay, then! Come on.

JESSE: Hey, wait a second.

Who's buried in here?

Come on. I'll show you inside.

Uh, I really got to get back. My sister--

We got a meeting.

Thought you weren't scared?

That was before.

Initiation time.

JOHNNY: Hey, look at this.

Jeez!

JOHNNY: What do you think?

Don't know. It might be supplies.

What kind of?

I don't know. Ammo, maybe. Combat stuff.

Hey, check this out.

I don't think you should play around with that.

Shut up, wimp!

Finders, keepers. Right?

Yeah.

Unh!

Hey!

[Hissing]

- Huh! - Aah!

- Aah! - Aah!

Wait up!

Oh, shit!

Oh, no!

Oh, shit!

It's the army, the real one.

This is serious!

We got to call that number!

You're not gonna tell 'em about this, see? Know why?

JESSE: Let me out!

BILLY: 'Cause you won't be able to.

JESSE: Let me out!

Aah!

Well, here we are.

Oh, creep me out!

Joey, are you sure you want to do this?

The guy offered me 100 for a night's work.

I can't turn that down, can I?

Grab the bag, will you, kid?

Are you gonna be in there all night

or what?

A couple hours, tops. You wait here.

Gee, that sounds really exciting.

Take it easy, baby. No sweat.

I don't want to take it easy, Joey.

I want to go out and have some fun,

so will you just hurry up?

Okay.

Oh.

And will you be careful, too, please?

God damn mushy stuff.

Come on.

[Creak]

[Birds cawing]

What if somebody wants to know what we're doing here?

Oh, well, you tell them you're a grave-digger,

and you'll be tellin' them the truth.

Only difference is,

we're the kind that takes 'em out

instead of putting 'em in, see?

- Ha ha ha! - Jesus, Ed.

What do you do with them?

There are all sorts of crazies out there.

They want skulls from interred bodies.

That's the key, see?

They got to have been interred.

No, siree, nobody wants skulls

that haven't already been buried.

Come on. I mean,

how are they gonna know the difference?

It'd be dishonest

to give them skulls that weren't buried.

Jesus.

[Creak]

[Snap]

Aah!

Oh!

Oh. Okay. Okay.

Just a little decayed matter.

Nothing to get unhinged about.

Oh, shit!

ED: Long time.

Lousy kids are always pokin' around

in my garden.

Stay cool.

Look at that!

Oh, what the hell.

Huh!

Hey, you, kid! If I catch you in here again,

I kick your ass, and then I call the police!

Guess I've just got a way with kids, huh?

Ha ha ha!

Aw, what a shame.

It's not even ripe.

Damn kids, they have no respect

for the dead.

Makes you sick, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Well, let's get started.

Yeah.

Turn it over. I got it.

Take it to the side. Press out.

It's 1, 2...

3. Now, pushing the walls, keep 'em apart.

Don't let 'em come in.

Again, 4, 3, 2.

And, do the front. And swinging those arms.

Standing tall

in 4, 3, 2.

Now to the side again. Now, press. Press.

Hey, Jesse, see that?

Mom says you follow those rules, or it's my butt.

You follow those rules, or it's your butt.

Take it to the side.

Up! Up!

And take it down.

First one says "homework,"

and you don't go out until you finish it.

Now get going!

We're going to do that again.

And to the side. And...

[Beep beep beep]

[Beep beep]

[Beeping faster]

[Constant tone]

[Coughing]

[Thunder]

ED: That's a good boy.

You got it.

Ooh!

Ugh.

Not bad.

Nice bit of rump in her time, huh?

Looks choice.

Get me the bag, will ya?

Well, open it, like you do in the store.

Ha ha ha!

[Thunder]

Oh...

Kiss, kiss. Ha ha ha!

Now you know what a bagman is.

Oh, that's it.

I don't need the money. I'm out of here.

Ah, come off it.

Who's gonna know? Her?

Ha ha ha!

Besides...

I'll bet that girlfriend of yours

would sure like this.

Huh?

Huh?

[Thunder]

Yeah.

Ha ha ha!

What is that stuff?

ED: Swamp gas.

Makes my skin feel like slimy ice or something.

Come on.

Let's get this one up here.

"1957."

Perfect.

[Thunder]

[Thunder]

[Thunder]

[Thunder]

[Cough]

[Coughing]

[Thunder]

Move it!

Over here. Come on. Let's go.

Jesus Christ, not again.

LUCY: Look, Beth, Mrs. Billings says

I've got to have this damn cake ready

for Home Ec in the morning.

How the hell do you separate

a white from a yolk?

This whole thing is so stupid.

[Doorbell rings]

LUCY: Hold on a sec. It's the door.

Coming!

Oh.

Uh... hi.

I'm with cable TV.

I have an installation order here.

Yeah. You were supposed to be here, like, 3 hours ago.

Yeah, well, I'm...

This is all really new around here.

I got sort of lost.

Wait a minute. Aren't you, uh...

Don't you go to Central?

So? Big deal.

Yeah. I went there, ya know.

I graduated last year. Maybe you remember me.

Tom Essex-- Student council, swim team...

almost.

No.

No, I don't remember you.

Um... TV's in here.

[Doorbell rings]

I've got to see Billy, please?

He's not feeling too well.

I put him to bed.

But I've got his homework assignments!

Oh, well, you can give it to me.

No! I mean, I've got to show it to him,

or he won't understand.

Alright, but just for a few minutes.

Billy?

What do you want?

[Coughing]

What happened? What did you--

Below normal?

Are you keeping this under your tongue?

You do feel cold.

God, I told you not to go running around

in the rain.

You opened the thing, didn't you?

Say anything about this, and your ass is grass.

MOM: Jesse, that's all now.

You shut up about this, or else!

[Coughing]

[Coughing continues]

Hrrarghh!

Uh!

Brains!

Oh... oh!

Brains!

Rrarghhh!

Oh!

Whoooaah!

I want...

your brains!

Uh! Aah!

Give me...

Aah!

Brains!

Brains!

Unh!

[Panting]

[Coughing]

[Spits]

Eergg...

Uh! Ah!

Ah!

Oop!

Yaa!

Whoop!

Ugh!

Joey?

Okay. Okay.

Yaahh!

You hear that?

Sit down and have a sandwich, huh?

The missus made 'em.

No, I think I'll pass.

[Ed coughs]

You're right.

There's a chill in the air tonight.

[Cough cough]

58 years old,

can't be too careful in this weather.

Yeah, you'll end up in one of those.

Nuh-uh. Not me.

You'll never find me in one of these.

I'm gonna get me cremated.

You're just afraid that some old creep like you

is gonna come along and steal your head.

Watch your tongue, boy, if you like this job.

Like this job?!

Like this job?

Joey?

Okay. Okay, that is it.

I am out of here.

Harrr...

Oh, shit!

Shit!

Huh. Huh.

Okay. Okay. Um... The van.

You can take the van. It's right over there.

Eii...

Oh, fuck this!

Whargh...

Aah!

Urgh...

Aah!

[Ed coughs]

Should've taken the chicken soup.

Holy Jesus, Ed!

[Grunting]

[Coughs]

[Gagging]

ED: Holy mother of God!

Ed. Ed!

Is there something I should know?

Ohh... ohh...

You're supposed to be dead!

Oh!

Oh!

Ooow!

Oh! Holy shit!

This is big fucking trouble!

Oh!

Aah! Uh!

Aah!

Aaarghhh!

Eee!

Aah!

Joey! Joey! Kill it!

Aah!

Aah!

Joey!

Joey, wait for me!

Huh! Joey! Joey!

Come on!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Joey, get 'em!

Aah!

Aah!

Brains!

Brains!

Brains!

We gotta get Brenda, man. She's all alone.

Brenda? What about me?

You selfish jerk!

Oh, I am. I am.

Oh, lord, forgive me. They're dead!

I thought you were finished with them!

I got a feeling he's not listening right now.

We got to handle this thing, whatever it is.

But first we gotta get Brenda. Come on.

- Not that way! The road. - Yeah, this way!

Aah!

Joey!

Whoa, Brenda, honey, baby!

Are you okay? Are you okay?

I'm okay, I'm okay. Joey, what did you do?

He didn't do anything.

It's me they're after. It's my sins!

Hail, Mary, full of grace--

Quit doing that!

Oh! The lord is my Shepherd--

BRENDA: Shut up!

Save this sinner, please!

There's lights over there!

Aah!

Brains!

Brains!

Aah!

Out there!

Lucy! In the cemetery--

This hand, it came out of the ground

and tried to grab me!

I didn't know what to do!

Upstairs, mister!

In the drum-- Big, slimy!

We've got to call the army!

It's for real!

Great imagination!

Let's go. Right now!

You got to believe me.

Look, I don't want any more trouble out of you, mister.

Let me at least call mom!

And do not try to leave this room,

do you understand?

JESSE: Hey, what are you doing out there?

Damn!

I can't go any faster!

Please, slow down!

Go slower! Please!

Aah! Aah!

Wait for me! No, don't leave me!

Please!

Alright, one move, and you're dead meat!

Oh, please, please, don't shoot!

No, go ahead and do it! I deserve to die!

JOEY: Mister, call the police

or the fire department

or the S.W.A.T. team or--I don't know--anybody,

but do it now!

- ZOMBIE: Rrarghh! - Aah!

What the hell was that?

- Aah! - Aah!

Where do you think you're going?

Get your family out of here! Now!

Okay. Okay.

Mildred! Get in here.

[Zombies shouting]

[Beeping]

Jesse!

Jesse!

Jesse!

Jesse!

You've gone too far this time.

Now open this door!

Jesse, you let me in there this minute!

Jesse, if you don't open this door,

I am gonna come in there

and I am gonna kill you!

MAN: This is section four.

Is this the army?

Okay, that does it. That does it. Fine.

I'm going to tell mom,

and you are going to be grounded for a month!

Well, don't just stand there. Do something!

Now, this might chip the paint.

Do it.

WOMAN: Go ahead, please.

Uh, is there where you should call

about one of those drums?

Yes. Your name, please?

Jesse Wilson.

Hold the line, Mr. Wilson.

Your call is being transferred.

Alright!

Oh, oh!

Hurry up!

[Dial tones]

It's for the colonel.

Excuse me, sir. It's for you.

Thank you.

Come on, baby. Let's go.

Oh, but that's stealing!

Oh, but that's okay!

Come on!

[Coughing]

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Get it started, will ya?!

Hey! Hey!

What the hell's going on?

Man...

Which way?

Left!

No, right!

Aaah!

Hello?

Hello, this is Glover.

Hello?

Hello, Glover here. Hello!

Damn!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Look what you made him do!

Now he's killed someone, and it's all your fault!

You...You schmuck!

I know!

Stop it! Stop it!

I can't believe it!

Oh, dear lord, help me!

Gaahh!

Aaahh!

Uh... uh...

Oh, my God!

Did you see what I think I saw?

Yeah.

Aah!

- Raagh! - Raagh!

- Aah! - Aah!

Hey, you guys--

Did somebody get hurt?

- Yes! - No!

Wait right here.

I'm gonna call an ambulance.

Wait here?

Aahh!

Oop!

I'm gonna tell everything!

Jesse, get back here, you--

I'm going to kill you!

Let me go!

I got to call for help.

The phone's dead!

Aah!

You've got to help us, miss.

This is serious.

I can't help you!

Miss, you've got to help us!

Get out, or I'll call the police!

No! You gotta help us!

You got a gun in this place?

A gun? Get out of here!

The phone's dead.

Hey, get your hands off of her!

You don't understand!

I understand, alright.

Out there, that's hit-and-run, pal.

No, they're dead.

Yeah, I know! You guys--

Already dead!

Trust me-- Dead, dead, dead.

- Dead, dead, dead! - Yeah!

We've got to get to a phone.

That's right. He's right.

Him, right? You've got no idea.

Wait, wait, wait-- Oh, Jesus.

Joey?

I don't feel so good.

Joey?

Oh, Jesus! Oh, God!

Oh, no!

Oh!

No! No!

Well, what is it?

Oh, God!

[Lucy screams]

ED: Oh, God!

- Aah! - God!

Oh, my God!

Ow! Ow! Ow! You son of a bitch!

Come on.

Bitch! You bastard.

Uhh!

Oh, God!

Oh, get rid of it!

Please, get rid of it!

Ohh!

Oh, God!

[Brenda sobs]

JOEY: Get it out of here.

Lord have mercy.

Get that damn screwdriver

out of my head!

- Aah! - Aah!

- Aah! - Aah!

I've got to get out of here and get to a phone!

Joey, baby, it's okay. We're gonna--

I don't know what we're gonna, but...

- Aah! - Aah!

[Groaning]

Help!

Help!

Jesse!

- Help! - Jesse?

Arrgh!

Help! Help him!

Brain!

Brain.

Oh, God!

We got to get out of here.

We gotta get out of here!

We got to get out of here.

We know that, dummy. We need a car.

Doc Mandel's got a car.

He's got a phone. We can make a ca--

Where is this guy?

Two houses over.

- [Glass breaking] - Aah!

It's all clear.

Show us the way.

Aaahh!

What?

I knew we should have gone dancing!

I'll take care of you, baby.

Get her out of here, now!

[Crash]

Oh, shit!

Help me! Help me, Jesus!

[Upbeat music plays]

Side kick, count 1, 2, 3.

Now to the front. It's 1, 2, 3, against thighs.

1, 2, 3, now single count.

Front, up, up,

and side, side.

Reach up, up,

and now the heel-touch. Reaching out. Take it down.

And bow and arrow.

Hurry! Hurry!

Which way?

- Aahh! - Aahh!

This way! Come on.

Do you want to die?

Okay, they seem to like brains,

so maybe they'll leave you alone.

Shut up.

Come on!

ED: Ohh! Ahh!

I told you-- no more prayers.

It's not that.

I don't feel so hot. Let me rest.

Rest? He wants to rest?!

Joey, he is totally the dumbest guy you've ever worked with

in your whole entire life!

Rest? You can't rest now.

We're almost there. Come on!

Come on!

Arrgh!

Oh, no! Aah!

Come on.

Run! We're almost there!

Through here! Come on!

[Groaning]

George!

George, go get Dr. Mandel!

[Moaning]

Brain!

George!

Raahh! Raahh!

George?

[Hissing]

Oh! Oh!

Oh, Billy!

[Sobbing]

[Crunch]

[Crash]

Doc Mandel! Open up!

Oh, it's you.

Why aren't you out playing in the traffic?

How'd you get in here?

What seems to be the problem?

Where are the keys to your car?

Why? Are we going somewhere?

[Crash]

Aah!

There seem to be hooligans

terrorizing the neighborhood.

No, it's the dead.

They've come back to life.

The dead? Dead? Dead what?

People! We need your car.

Sounds to me like you need a hearse.

We don't have time for this!

Look, I'm sorry, sir,

but we've gotta get the keys to your car right now!

Must be an emergency, huh?

No duh!

Oh, well...

Oh, I'm sorry, my boy, but this car is cherry.

No one drives the princess but me.

Just move it.

- Yaa! - [Glass breaks]

[Engine won't start]

Oh, my God! It's-- It's, um... Harvey!

Harvey Kramer!

Harvey, it's me. Remember me?

Harvey, it wasn't my fault. We ran out of type "O".

It's coming!

Cherry, huh?

- Well, almost cherry. - [Engine starts]

The door, the door!

It won't go.

Go! Go!

- Forget it. - You wouldn't--

♪ It's gonna be wild tonight ♪

♪ Flesh to flesh and bite to bite ♪

♪ It's gonna be wild tonight ♪

Hey, you ghoul face, get off the car!

Oh, no! Now what do we do?

♪ Beware of the nighttime people ♪

♪ Who's rocking where? ♪

Oh! Oh!

30 years I've owned this auto,

and I've never put a scratch on it.

Give me that wheel!

- Hey, come on! - Doctor!

♪ It's gonna be wild tonight ♪

♪ Flesh to flesh and bite to bite ♪

♪ It's gonna be wild tonight ♪

♪ I can feel it coming ♪

♪ It's gonna be wild tonight ♪

Oh, he's not gonna throw up

in here now, is he?

What's going on here?

Out the window. Out the window.

Push the button. Push the button.

Out the window!

I just had this car waxed.

Raagh!

Aah!

Now there's a body on the car!

Hey!

Aah!

Get it out of here!

- Aah! - Aah!

- Aah! - Aah!

Aah!

[All screaming]

I don't think it's anything to get excited about.

It's only a severed hand.

Why is everyone so excited?

Whoa!

Maybe not! Whoa!

Aah! Throw it out the window!

Joey? Joey!

We got to get to a hospital.

It's all your fault, you cheese dip!

Stay away from me.

Where's the emergency room?

No! We've got to go to the police station.

They'll know what do to.

Will you just shut up?

God!

I think something

is not right with those guys.

I feel so... I just got this feeling.

Yeah. Me, too.

No, it's...

It's like we've been here before.

It's like a dream, this whole thing--

You, me, them...

[All screaming]

Anybody here?

Dead.

Don't say that word.

Why? Damn it, why? Where'd they all go?

Hello?

Where is everybody?

When are you guys going to wake up?

Nobody can help us except--

A trained physician, such as myself.

Hold this, my son. Thank you very much.

Ah, yes, yes, yes.

What, what, what?

When did you two have your last bowel movement, hmm?

Do you happen to know what a catheter is?

They gotta have police here, emergency stuff--

Somebody somewhere!

I'll take a look around town.

Not without me!

You stay put.

No way. I saw it.

I'm the one who knows stuff.

Kid's got a point.

That'll be the day.

Come on. Cut it out, you two.

If we're going, let's go.

We'll be a team.

Teams suck.

Say ah.

Ah...

...ah-um!

Mm-hmm.

Huh!

What is it? What's wrong?

Is he gonna be okay?

Let's look at the tongue, alright?

Heh heh heh.

Oh, my God.

What?

What-- What is it?

We're going to do a biopsy.

Is it cancer?

If we're lucky.

Oh, noooo!

TOM: Have you noticed something funny?

LUCY: Yeah, like no people.

TOM: Yeah, like that.

Come on, kid.

Oh, thank God.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, over here!

Over here!

Hey! Fresh brain!

[Groaning]

Oh, no.

Oh, God.

Get in the car.

[Engine won't start]

Come on!

I don't believe this.

Goddamn car!

Come on!

Aah!

Oh, come on!

Aah!

[Engine starts]

Come on!

Great. I'm not even out of grade school,

and I'm already gonna die.

Gramps. There's gramps' street!

We should go back and get the others.

No! There! Turn down there!

Look, their lights on.

Wait a second.

Gramps?

Hold on.

Gramps!

Grandpa? Oh, where is he?

[Glass breaking]

You know how to, uh... use one of those?

You do know how to pull a trigger, don't you?

Sure. Do you?

She's junior class champion for the whole state.

Here's yours.

Oh, terrific! Great.

What can I shoot with this, mice?

Look. Those things out there,

they're ugly and they're dirty and they're dumb,

I don't even care if they are dead.

I hate them. There's no way they're touching me.

Great.

Make my night.

[Moaning]

[Moaning]

You've got to help me!

We've got to get moving.

Those things are all over town.

Uh.

Um... would you come over here, please?

You will also notice

there is no pupilary response.

Ohh.

No, uh...

reflexes.

Obvious lividity,

suggesting chronic,

intractable rigor mortis.

Is it serious?

Is dead serious?

Aah!

But they can talk.

JOEY: Oh, God, it hurts!

I can't move my arms or legs.

See? Now, do you call this dead?

They are not dead, you jerk!

Have you noticed he's not breathing?

Care to check his heartbeat?

- Ohh! - It hurts!

In my opinion, I think

they should be contained.

Contained?

Bagged.

Bagged?

Bagged.

Ow... we!

[Feedback]

Hello? Hello.

[Clanking]

[Door closes]

[Footsteps]

[Sniff sniff]

Mmm.

[Sniff sniff sniff]

Aah!

Brains!

Okay, you mother.

What was that?

[Zombie whimpers]

Ooh.

Blrrg!

Arghh!

Eh!

Unh!

Hey. Stay.

Shoot it!

[Click]

Jeez!

[Click]

[Click]

Oh, God!

Aah!

Come on.

[Screaming]

Oh, no! Ohh!

Shh, shh.

Oh, no, no, no.

You don't want to do that.

Well you were gonna leave him here, you quack.

Some doctor! Yeah, well, we're gonna go find a real one!

Come on, baby.

You're making a big mistake.

Shut up!

No! You can't leave me here!

No, no, no. You don't want--

[Clang]

You did.

[Grunting]

Get out of here!

No!

Oh, shit!

Hey!

Hey!

♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪

They wouldn't steal my--

They wouldn't-- They did!

Damn it!

♪ The hot summer night ♪

Alright!

♪ Fell like a net ♪

♪ I've gotta find my baby yet ♪

♪ I need you... ♪

Don't you worry, babe.

I'm going to get you help,

professionals, the best.

Ohh!

Will you shut up!

Aah!

Shut up!

I'm telling you, sarge.

We cleared out the town.

We should be way over here.

Lady, don't come any closer!

I gotta get a doctor!

Are you sick?

No! What is wrong with you people?

They need help, for Christ's sake!

Forget it, lady! Nobody gets out of this town.

BRENDA: Why not?

Plague!

Plague? This is no plague!

They're dead!

I mean, I mean...

I mean, not, like, for-real dead,

but, like, sick dead! You know?

Like when you check them out, there's nothing going on inside or anything!

Uh! Uh! Uh!

Okay, sarge.

Let's push along, don't you think?

Yeah. Let's move out, boys.

No!

Wait. No, I can explain.

I can explain. Please!

It's okay, lady. We'll send the medics, alright?

Promise?

Aah!

Ed! Ed, quit it!

Ed!

Goddamn!

Aah!

Believe me, he's dead.

Get up here now!

Okay, sarge. I'm coming.

I'm coming.

Ahh.

Take it easy, Ed.

Trust me, okay?

I'll be right back.

[Growling]

[Zombies and animals screaming]

JESSE: Let's go up Weaver Street.

LUCY: No. Richmond's faster.

And brighter.

Let's just get out of here.

Son of a bitch!

[Barking]

What are you doing?

Yeah, I know. They're already dead.

I don't care. I'll kill them anyway.

Oh, my God.

One for the good guys.

[Siren]

Brilliant.

Brilliant!

Brains!

- Brains! - Brains!

Brains!

Brains!

[Moaning]

Brenda!

You gotta help me!

It hurts so bad!

Joey...

I'm doing the best I can. What else can I do?

Uugh.

Don't worry, baby. I'm gonna get you there.

Don't worry.

Let me...

eat your brain.

Eh!

Aah!

Brains!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Brenda, let me have them!

I'm the one who loves you!

Brenda!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Oh! Oh!

Aah!

Brenda!

Aah! Joey! You stay away from me!

Oh, Brenda, your brains smell so good,

so-- so rich and spicy.

- Spicy? - Yeah.

Joey, I am not into dead guys!

Eh?

Honey, it's only me.

Okay, okay.

- [Crunch] - Aah...

[Exhilarated exhale] Oh!

Right!

Good-bye, nightmare.

Let's get to a call box!

No way. We're gettin' outta here.

He's right, son.

What the--

What's going on? I don't believe this!

JESSE: Look!

TOM: Soldiers?

It's alright. They're ours!

Commence firing!

I don't think they know that.

You're right. I'm wrong.

Hey, wait! You don't understand!

JESSE: They think we're them.

LUCY: You mean those things?

Yeah. Don't you get it?

That's why there's nobody in town.

They evacuated the whole place.

DOC MANDEL: Interesting situation.

Soldiers in front, zombies in the back.

Maybe we should slip off to the side

and have a cocktail or-- No?

No. No.

Hello? Hello, is there anybody out there?

Come in, come in.

Can you hear me?

Is anybody out there?

Hello?

Can you tell us where to go?

Come to the hospital.

Sure! We'll be right there!

Hold it, hold it!

Uh, pardon me, but could you tell me

who the president of the United States is?

Mmm...

Uh, Harry Truman.

Who's Harry Truman?

They want brains, we'll give 'em brains.

Come on!

Okay, Jesse. Now, remember.

No funny stuff.

If you hear anything, just shout.

Okay, okay!

[Shouting]

I joined the army to see the world, not this.

Get a hold of yourself, son. You're an American soldier!

We got a firefight on our hands,

and the enemy's already dead.

It's beautiful!

Alright, you dead bunch of sons-of-bitches.

I'm blowing your tired, ugly asses

- right back to hell! - Yeah.

Yeah.

♪ The sky is black ♪

♪ And darkness fills the air ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ I'm all alone ♪

♪ And I pray for the morning light ♪

[Screaming]

[Tires squealing]

[Horns honking]

[Cheering]

♪ I'm standing alone in the night ♪

♪ And hopelessly wait for the dawn ♪

♪ Standing alone in the night ♪

Help! Help! Over here!

Over here!

♪ Looking back forever it seems ♪

♪ I can't go on it's never ending ♪

♪ A thousand shadows reach for me ♪

♪ Still I know ♪

♪ I'll get out before the dawn ♪

Jesse?

Jesse!

I told him! I told him!

Don't worry. We'll find him.

Maybe I don't want to find him.

I think you do.

I bet you think I'm a real idiot,

don't you?

No, I think you're great.

[Shouting]

[Tires squeal]

Get up!

Who do you think you are?

I got news for you, pal.

We survive, we survive together.

You understand me?

I'm sorry. I thought that thing--

It's okay. It's alright.

You ready to work?

[Horn honks]

DOC MANDEL: Ready, son?

Keep those brains coming!

Chow time!

Chow time!

Get 'em while they're cold!

Fresh brains!

Nice fresh brains!

Cold fresh brains!

They're catching up!

Big whoppers!

Ah, yes. I've got a lovely bunch of brains.

Brains! Give me some more, son.

Shoot 'em to me!

Brains! Yeah!

Cold fresh brains!

Brains!

Get 'em while they're fresh!

Eat up! Eat up! Nice cold brains!

Chow time! Cold fresh brains!

[Shouting]

Come on.

Come on.

Yeah.

JESSE: Is that it?

[Alarm sounds]

Okay.

[Alarm]

[Shouting]

Jesse!

Come on!

Come on!

Aah!

[Banging]

What is it? What's the matter?

The walkie-talkie.

Oh, great.

What are we gonna do now?

The doc will know what to do.

[Static]

Well...

How do you do?

[Static]

Oh...

[Banging]

[Shouting]

I know that look. I get it from my mom

when she wants me to volunteer for dishes.

The keys are in the ignition.

You can't send him out there.

Okay, you got to get it started.

Turn the key in the ignition.

[Engine starts]

[Static]

Doc Mandel here.

Errrgh!

Who's this?

Brains!

Brains!

Let the clutch out slowly.

Clutch, shift, clutch.

Got it?

Got it.

Here we go.

We're moving! We're moving!

Alright!

Holy, horse puckey!

- Brains! - Eh!

[Honks horn]

You told, you told.

Now you die like me.

That's why you're dead, ass wipe:

No brains and a big mouth.

Oh, hurry, Jesse! Hurry!

[Screaming]

I did remember you.

Wow!

Excuse me.

Your fly is open.

Hi. Good-bye.

Hey, jerk-off!

Hmm...

Must have been a fuse.

MAN: Get these guys together.

SECOND MAN: Move that up front, everybody.

Get a case of body bags down here.

Let's go.

I want a truck over in this area.

You men, check behind the building.

Go look!

You did good, kid. You did alright.

Thanks.

You're still a little shit,

but I love you.

The feeling's mutual.

I'm starved.

How about a bite to eat?

- ALL: Uh! - I mean--

Well, you know what I mean.

Maybe we could have a little glass of something,

a little libation, heh heh heh!

Tell me, my son, have you ever had a Shirley Temple?

No.

A horse's neck?

No.

A purple knee-high?

No.

Well, tell me this.

Have you ever seen a grown man drunk?

Oh, come on, guy. Back off with that thing.

I got gas. [Burp]

Aw, don't hit a girl when she's down!

Oh! Oh!

Aah!

[Cough cough]

Okay. No more brains. You win.

For now!

♪ I was working in the lab late one night ♪

♪ When my eyes beheld an eerie sight ♪

♪ For my monster, from the slab, began to rise ♪

♪ And suddenly to my surprise ♪

- ♪ He did the Mash ♪ - ♪ He did the Monster Mash ♪

- ♪ The Monster Mash ♪ - ♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪

- ♪ He did the Mash ♪ - ♪ It caught on in a flash ♪

- ♪ He did the Mash ♪ - ♪ He did the Monster Mash ♪

♪ From my laboratory in the castle east ♪

♪ To the master bedroom, where the vampires feast ♪

♪ The ghouls all came from their humble abodes ♪

♪ To catch a jolt from my electrodes ♪

- ♪ They did the Mash ♪ - ♪ They did the Monster Mash ♪

- ♪ The Monster Mash ♪ - ♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪

- ♪ They did the Mash ♪ - ♪ It caught on in a flash ♪

- ♪ They did the Mash ♪ - ♪ They did the Monster Mash ♪

♪ The zombies, they were having all kinds of fun ♪

♪ The party, it was rollin', it had just begun ♪

♪ The guests included Wolfman, Ah-oooo! ♪

♪ Dracula, and his son ♪

♪ The scene was rocking, all were digging the sound ♪

♪ Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds ♪

♪ The Coffin Diners were about to arrive ♪

♪ With their vocal group, The Crypt Keeper Five ♪

- ♪ They played the Mash ♪ - ♪ They played the Monster Mash ♪

- ♪ The Monster Mash ♪ - ♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪

- ♪ They played the Mash ♪ - ♪ It caught on in a flash ♪

- ♪ They played the Mash ♪ - ♪ They played the Monster Mash ♪

♪ Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring ♪

♪ Seems he was troubled by just one thing ♪

♪ He opened the lid and shook his fist ♪

♪ And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist?" ♪

- ♪ It's now the Mash ♪ - ♪ It's now the Monster Mash ♪

- ♪ The Monster Mash ♪ - ♪ And it's a graveyard smash ♪

- ♪ It's now the Mash ♪ - ♪ It caught on in a flash ♪

- ♪ It's now the Mash ♪ - ♪ It's now the Monster Mash ♪

♪ Now everything is cool, Drac's a part of the band ♪

♪ And my Monster Mash is the hit of the land ♪

♪ For you, the living, this mash was meant too ♪

♪ When you get to my door, tell them Jason sent you ♪

- ♪ Then you can Mash ♪ - ♪ Then you can Monster Mash ♪

- ♪ The Monster Mash ♪ - ♪ I'll do my graveyard smash ♪

- ♪ Then you can Mash ♪ - ♪ You'll catch on in a flash ♪

- ♪ Then you can Mash ♪ - ♪ Then you can Monster Mash ♪

- ♪ Then you can Mash ♪ - ♪ Then you can Monster Mash ♪

- ♪ The Monster Mash ♪ - ♪ I'll do my graveyard smash ♪

- ♪ Then you can Mash ♪ - ♪ You'll catch on in a flash ♪

- ♪ Then you can Mash ♪ - ♪ Then you can Monster Mash ♪

Wha-oo!

Grah-ahhh Monster Mash good!

Mmm.

Everybody Monster Mash, Ah-ha ha ha ha!

I still like the Transylvania Twist myself. I don't see what all this stuff is.

[Heavy breathing]

What is this? Mabel, I think we're in the wrong theater.

Uh, I-- Some-- Something's wrong. Let's get out of here.

Take me to your leader.

[Heavy grunting]

Monster Mash good for me! Good for you!

♪ It was the Monster Mash ♪

♪ It was a graveyard smash ♪

♪ It was Monster Mash ♪

Ah-ooo!