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Tonight, another
body cam video is putting

a spotlight on how
police interact

with the mentally ill.

Hello.
What's going on?

How you doing?
What's going on?

What's going on?

As Shirley walks out,

police notice a screwdriver
in her son Jason's hand.

Drop that thing.
Drop that for me, guy.

- J!
- Drop it!

- J!
- Drop it.

J!
Don't shoot. Don't shoot!

Oh, you killed my son!

Oh!
He killed my...

7821.

10-4.

Complain he's being
belligerent and, uh, hostile.

7821, she's not answering.

I'm following her.

755 80th Street.

For three miles,
I've been following her.

She's dark complected,
heavyset,

wearing dark clothes,

getting high in the doorway
across the street.

Uh, I'll ring
the doorbell now.

- Good morning.
- What's up, buddy?

You got Coban up?

Officer Stevens,
Officer Smarro,

badge 483, 845.

March 7th, 10:06 a.m.,
Mental Health.

Yeah, this call, this is
our Central Magistrates Office.

They need help with a man

who'd wandered in
off the street,

and he's in one
of the courtrooms

causing a disturbance.

He's afraid of anyone
in a uniform.

And, luckily, right around
the corner from there

is our local
mental health authority.

This one's gonna get us
tied up for a while.

We used to have a saying
in law enforcement:

"Ask, tell, make."

I'm gonna ask you to do it,
I'm gonna tell you to do it,

and I'm gonna make you do it.

I understand that
I'm walking into the person

that didn't call me there

and didn't want me there,
oftentimes.

I respect the fact that
they have a mental illness

and that they don't want
law enforcement

interacting with them.

And if it takes 20,
if it takes 90,

if it takes 120 minutes
to convince them

that, one,
we're not gonna hurt 'em,

and, two,
they're gonna come with us,

it's just a matter of how
they're gonna come with us.

Here, it's the gentleman
in the gray shirt.

- Okay.
- Okay.

If that takes me
all day long...

- How you doing?
- I'll take all day long.

You okay?

Oh, no, no.
This is my partner, Joe.

My name's Ernie.

How can we help you today?

What do you all do?

We're with
the police department.

I'm a--stay right there.

I'm having a hard time
hearing you, okay?

What brings you in here today?

And where have you been?
- Here.

You don't feel safe here?

Okay.

Okay, Keith.

All right, no one here
is gonna hurt you.

You're kind of scaring
some of these people.

Oh.

None of these people
know you, okay,

and you're kind of
scaring 'em right now.

What about any drug use?

I have done drugs, okay?
I have--

I know.

When you were using drugs,
what'd you use?

Thinking I'm funny.

I don't care what it is.

It doesn't matter
in the ghetto.

I appreciate you
being honest.

Hey.

I appreciate you
being honest.

So...
- I need a--

Okay, so here's the thing,
Keith.

You were honest with me.
I'm gonna be honest with you.

I'm just--I'm worried
about you, man.

I'm worried about, like...

Tell me.

Yeah, go ahead
and sit down, bro.

We kind of catch flack,

internally in the department,
of being poor tactically.

"You guys got poor tactics

'cause you sit down
with people."

Yeah, I sit down with people,

'cause I'm not gonna
stand over 'em

and talk down at 'em.

I'm gonna sit down
and get at their level,

because they're gonna
tell me a lot more

than they're wanting
to tell you.

You don't need to gather
your people, Keith.

This isn't a Western.

I know it's serious.

Well, we can get you
out of here.

Yeah, we will.

You think someone's
gonna come up

and do something to you
while we're with you?

No.

Just walk with us, Keith.

We'll show you that
you're gonna be safe. Come on.

You mind leaving your pen, bud?
- Yeah, leave your pen here.

Yeah.

All right, thank you, buddy.

You still nervous?

Would you feel safer
just to have a seat?

I got tinted windows,
so nobody can see you, man.

There's a place
right down the street

that we're gonna go to,

and you'll stay with us
until we get there, okay?

Okay, have a seat.

Well, we'll get you checked out
and evaluated, okay?

Yeah, we'll just go
mental decomp, not sleeping...

um, paranoid...

- All right.
- What's going on?

- 'Sup?
- Hi, how are you?

He's just finishing up
his AFR from that call.

It's not over, you know,

as far as this call's
concerned.

Future follow-ups
definitely in the picture.

Yeah.

All right, you guys have
any, like, priorities?

I got a call from a sergeant
from Central last night

about how long we have
to wait in the hospital...

- Yeah.
- With the patient.

But just kind of as a reminder,
let patrol know,

"Hey,
there's no written mandate,

"but as a courtesy, you know,
we stay with the patient

"for at least 30 minutes,
and the hospital needs

"to make some accommodations
to get them

checked into a room
or have somebody watch them."

Okay.

We're hearing more and more
about officers just refusing

to do what they've been
trained to do.

- Yep.
- Yes.

Probably because
their training was

X amount of years ago.

Yeah, I heard that same--
that same issue.

Okay.

So I think we may need
to do more training.

Thank you, Joe.

My name's Joe Smarro.
I've been with SAPD since 2005.

Before that,
I was in the Marine Corps.

Oorah.

My name is Ernie Stevens.

I've been on the SAPD
going on my 22nd year.

Prior to that,
I was a Cub Scout.

Oorah?

No? Okay.
- No.

Thought I'd try, man.

People don't call 911 to say,

"Hey, I just wanna
let you know, man,

"the stock market's
doing great.

"My portfolio's on point.

"I'm really happy
with my wife

"and my kids are healthy.

So thank you for the work
you do."

That doesn't happen, right?

No one calls us
to give us good news.

They call us because
something bad is happening

in their environment,
under their umbrella,

something bad's happening,
and so they're in a crisis.

On average, in a police academy
in this country,

they spend 60 hours or more
learning how to shoot a gun

and they spend 8 on mental
health and communication.

We need to shift that.

2110 and 2120...

Standing by.

Well, let me get out there
and find out

what's going on,
and I'll keep you updated.

All right, then.
Thank you.

Uh-huh, bye-bye.

Two mental health calls.

These calls are all day long.
They never stop.

You know, the problem is,

is there's more calls
than officers.

You know,
and this is a daily thing.

So as we see a call come up
for Mental Health,

we'll be able to take
that call,

which will free up
Patrol to continue

to answer these calls
for service

that even--that haven't even
been dispatched yet.

He is now feeling suicidal
and homicidal.

You feel like
wanting to kill yourself?

Okay, but you said
homicidal too.

Yeah.

Are you having thoughts
of killing him?

- Yeah.
- How would you do that?

Okay.
All right, buddy, come on.

So when we go in,
we're gonna get you in

and see the counselor, okay?

All right.

This is that one
from the state comptroller.

They did an audit,
and he said that he was

gonna put a bullet in his head

and then walk
in front of a bus.

He would put a bullet through
the state comptroller's head?

No, through his own.

And then walk in front
of a bus?

He's got it backwards.

Since Joe's the veteran,
Joe will take the lead on this.

Yeah, he's got a shitload
of guns in there.

I knew he was navy.

When it's a call involving
a veteran, I step back.

I mean,
Joe was in the marines.

He has a language
I don't have.

Go in, go.
Go in, go inside.

No, no, no.
Oh, no.

No, no, God damn it.
I don't wanna go.

I know.
I know it sucks, man.

You're not the first guy
that we've helped,

but you're the one
we're helping now, my friend.

And when it's a call
involving children,

I'll try to take the lead
on that,

because Joe can struggle

seeing children
that are hurting.

Your mom said that you haven't
been on medications,

and you haven't been in
to the crisis center, okay?

Why do I need to be
in this world?

I don't have nothing.

We'll find out who's got

the quickest availability
for you, okay?

All right, Ms. Raquel,
let me walk you in

and introduce you
to the nursing staff.

It was good meeting you,
Raquel.

Good luck to you, okay?

We also will do
maintenance calls

and follow-ups.

- Can we say hi to him?
- Yeah.

Yeah, let us say hi.

I wanna make sure
he's still doing good.

And then if he ever falls off,

you know,
and stops taking medicine

and stops eating
and stops bathing

and goes back to the way
it was,

then you know you call us,
okay, you know.

And you're never gonna be
in trouble, all right?

But you know you can trust us.
- Yes.

- So proud of you.
- Thank you for everything.

Yes, sir.
You got it, man.

You got it, okay?
We'll be back.

Okay.

We'll come in
and check on you

every now and again,
all right?

Okay.

Just make sure
you're doing good.

We have a very small unit.

We're probably doing 5% to 7%

of the actual Mental Health
call load,

so it's really a fraction.

Hi, this is Officer Stevens.

Were you calling for some help?

Okay, so he is suicidal?

Does he have weapons?
Does he own a gun?

We should be there
in probably about ten minutes.

Everybody, hold on tight.

We'll assume he has
access to a gun.

The only thing
that concerned me

is her saying, "He doesn't
wanna go out like no coward."

A little scary.

Oh, boy.

One side of the window,
the other one take the door?

You wanna do
rock-paper-scissors for door?

All right,
I'll take the door.

You owe me lunch, though.

Element of surprise is gone.
It went through the window.

Several dogs.

At least two dogs,
and I hear a bigger one,

like a wolf.

Okay, there are several Cujos
on the inside.

Patrol responding?

She's diverting them
right now.

Okay.

Hey, Sarge, gotta brief you
on a situation.

Boyfriend tried
to cut himself on the arm.

He's been hospitalized before.

He's diagnosed with depression.

We got Patrol responding
out here right now

just in case we need to do
a forced entry on this.

Uh, hold on.
Hold on, hold on.

Are you okay?

Hey, we're with the police.

You're not in any trouble.
- Oh, man.

My name is Joe.
That's my partner, Ernie.

You're not in any trouble.
Sarge, let me call you back.

You're okay.

Your girlfriend called
and was worried about you.

She said that maybe
you cut yourself.

Let me see how bad it is, okay?

- It was just a minor thing.
- Quick pat.

Okay, let me just pat
you down for weapons, okay?

- Yeah, go ahead.
- No weapons on you?

No, no weapons.

- 7821.
- Thank you.

Do you mind sitting down
and relax for a second?

Now, you showed me
that--this arm, right?

- Yeah.
- Can you show me the other?

Okay, that's what
I'm talking about.

Yeah, now, you see it's--

Here, let me see
how bad that is.

Oh, it's nothing.

That's gonna
need stitches, man.

That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.

Let me have a paramedic
clean it up, okay?

What branch in the military
were you in?

- I was in the marines.
- Oh, okay, well, there you go.

Oorah.
How many years you do?

Seven years.

Let's go down the stairs
so we can see the paramedics.

Gotta take a look at your arm.

We'll know something here
in just a second.

We're gonna work on getting
him benefits with the VA.

He's got a class B,

but we're gonna do
a jail diversion on it.

All right.

Well, I'm glad that went well.

Has anyone here,

while you're in
a work capacity,

has anyone ever told someone,
"I'm scared"?

Nobody?
Okay.

And how many of you,
when I said that,

immediately judged me
and thought,

"This dude's--what's wrong
with this guy?

I would never say that."
Right?

"I'm told--I'm taught
to be hard."

You know, "I don't get scared."

You know, "I'm United States
law enforcement," right,

or whatever you told yourself.

From day one, the moment
you do a traffic stop,

you walk into someone's house,
everything we do is scary.

But we're taught
don't show it.

Don't show fear.
You don't say that.

Now, I had a female,
called 911.

Set the stage up for you:

her husband's
in the house sleeping.

Her kids are sleeping.

She waits till
they fall asleep.

She walks outside,
gets on her cell phone,

calls the police.

She's sitting in her driveway
between two vehicles,

puts a gun to her head,
calls 911 and says,

"I'm thinking
about killing myself."

But what is it that
officers heard in that call?

together: Gun.
- Gun.

So what does that do?

Your adrenaline pump hits, right?

You're like,
"Okay, here we go."

We start formulating a plan.

You start coming up
with, like,

these amazing tactical
scenarios.

You start thinking about
what roof you're gonna scale,

what tree you're gonna climb.

You start, like--
people just start going wild.

And I pull up,
and there was two sergeants,

about eight, nine officers,
and every trunk is popped.

We're loading AR-15s,
shotguns, shields.

One guy was pulling out
the ram, and I'm like,

"I thought she was
in her driveway."

He's like, "I don't care, man.
I'm frickin' ready."

Like--they're, like...

I mean, we get so caught up

in the fact
that there was a gun,

and that's--we become
so fixated on that.

And we completely forget
the fact

that you've got one female
calling the police

on her one self
wanting to kill herself.

She's not wanting to go out
and ambush everyone

and that--you know,
that's not what that was.

But that's how
we're treating it,

because we heard "gun."

So Sarge says,
"Okay, what do you think?"

And I said, "Sarge,
with all due respect,

"I think that this is
way too much."

Like, "What's the plan here?

"We're gonna do a skirmish
down the street,

"like a formation, an echelon.

"We're gonna roll up on her
with shields, flashlights,

long guns, pointing at her,
screaming at her."

You guys can all picture this.
What does that look like?

I'm sitting here
with a gun to my head.

Now I've got eight of you
screaming commands at me.

"Put the gun down.
Put the gun down.

"Put the gun down.
Drop the effing gun.

"Drop the gun.
Put the gun down, man.

"Put the gun down.
Put the gun down.

"Damn, I'm tired.
Your turn.

"Put the gun down.
Put the gun down.

Drop the gun.
Drop the gun."

One of three things
happens there.

She puts the gun down
and all's okay.

She shoots herself in front
of everyone and that sucks.

Or she goes
to put the gun down,

but someone feels like
it's flagged

and then we got a:
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,

42 rounds on this female
that wanted to ask for help.

So I said, "Let me call her.
Has anyone called her at all?"

"No."
"All right, let me call her."

So I call her,
she answers the phone.

And I said, "You know, Brenda,
you don't know me.

"My name's Joe.
I'm just down the street."

I said,
"Tell me what's going on."

I talked to her
for a few minutes,

and then I said,
"What are you doing right now?"

And she said, "I'm sitting here
with a gun to my head."

And I said,
"Brenda, I'm scared."

And it was like a switch
went off in her head,

and she said, "What do you mean
you're scared?

I'm not trying to scare you.
I'm not gonna hurt anybody."

And I said, "I know that,

"but I've got a lot
of officers right here.

"And they've got all kinds
of, like,

"just wild equipment out
that they're wanting

"to march down the street
to your house,

"and I'm afraid of what's
gonna happen

"and I'm scared for that.

"And I--you know,
we have families.

"You've got a family in there.

Like, you holding the weapon
scares me."

And she said,
"What do you want me to do?"

I said,
"You ain't gonna believe this,

"but we actually have a guy
in a tree with binoculars,

"and he's watching you
right now.

"Just stand up so he can
see you with the weapon,

"put it on the hood,
and walk to us.

"And I'm gonna come meet you.
I'm not gonna tackle you.

"I'm just gonna come up
and talk to you.

This is what I'm wearing."

And it worked out
just like that.

Why?

Because I stayed calm
in the moment.

I knew what I was dealing with.

I didn't think about "gun."
I thought about "person."

Okay?
I didn't think about "gun."

I thought about
"person in crisis."

- All right, man.
- All right.

I'll see you in the morning.

- All right.
- I hope you sleep well.

All right.

I came along
at a perfect storm,

when everything was evolving
here at the police department.

I was working night patrol
in uniform.

That's all I knew.

And one night,

my partner at the time,
Willie Kasper,

decided to sign me up
for a class

called Crisis Intervention Training.

Um, you know, we had officers
with 25, 30 years on say,

"I'd rather retire than take

that 'hug a thug'
type training."

Hi, sweet pea.

But it meant that for a week,

I could be at home every night
and have a weekend off.

All right.

I had no idea what it was,

but one day, a lady comes in,
and she talked about her son

who has a mental illness,
who has schizophrenia.

He is paranoid all the time.

He punches holes in the walls.
He starts fires.

And she said, "One day,
one of you officers might have

"to come to my house,
and there's a possibility

that you might have
to shoot and kill my son."

And when I heard her say that,

that's when things really
started clicking for me.

Cut it and wash it.
- Yeah.

And so me and my partner
at the time made it

our mission to start
a Mental Health unit.

Before 2000,
our default position

for mentally ill folks
for law enforcement

was jail, jail, jail.

The jail was overcrowded.

The emergency rooms
were overcrowded.

The local mental health
authority was not doing

a very good job,
and the state was looking

at taking it over completely.

And they said,
"Well, what do you wanna do?"

I said,
"I wanna do one thing:

"I want to keep people
with mental illness

from being criminalized
for their illness."

And so I connected

with the local
mental health authority,

the police academy,
the sheriff's office,

the hospitals.

And so we were able to say,
"Let's start."

San Antonio police today
announcing a new pilot program

aimed at helping people
with mental illnesses

get the help they need.

Police have partnered
with mental health leaders

to treat people
with mental illness

as patients, not criminals.

We were told we were
a six-month pilot project.

And the chief, within a year,

he instituted
two more positions

within the Mental Health unit,
and we grew to four officers.

And that's when I met Joe.

I was about to walk

into the back
of the police station,

and I hear him
call out my name.

I'm like,
"Who's this new guy?"

He goes, "Hey," um, you know,

"I saw y'all are gonna
have openings in your unit."

And he's like,
"You know, I really wanna

come over there and interview."

I said, "Okay, well, you know,
brush up on the material

that we gave you,
and good luck with that."

I'm being honest, man.

And then I hear,

"Hey, did you hear
about that Smarro?"

And I was like,
"No, what happened?"

They go, "They asked him,
'Okay, Officer Smarro,

"'if you could say
that you had a weakness,

what would that be?'"

And his response was,
"Well, I'm gonna have to

get back to you on that one."

You gotta be kidding me.

So I thought, "Okay,
here comes this arrogant kid,

ten years younger."

You know, here we go.

We end up becoming partners
about a year later.

And I tell you what,
I hit the jackpot.

I hit the lottery
when he became my partner.

I work overtime on weekends
on Patrol filling in.

On average,
I would say I do this

about 3 1/2 weekends a month,

which doesn't make
a whole lot of sense for me,

really, because it really does
mess with my sleep.

And I know early on
in our career,

they said don't put yourself
in a situation

where you depend on
working overtime.

But because I have five kids
from different,

uh, you know,
relationships,

if I don't work
any overtime at all,

by the time my child support
comes out and bills are paid,

there is very little
to nothing left,

and so I do this...

You be a good boxer.

So that we can pay bills

and take the kids out
and do stuff.

3-8-9-4-6.

Again, 1-7-1-3-8-9-4-6.

Uh, I got four minutes.

I gotta do it quick
like I'm back in the corps.

Officer Smarro,
everything good?

- I'm living the dream, Sarge.
- Living the dream.

What vehicle you in?

Seven, niner, niner, zero.

All right.
Got you in.

You need anything,
give us a holler.

Thank you, sir.

All right,
be careful out there.

In our full-time job,
Mental Health, you know,

we are in plain clothes
and unmarked cars

and, you know, we're out there
just responding

to mental health-related
calls.

This allows us to stay current
and up-to-date as well

with everything going on
in Patrol

and responding to actual,
you know, 911 disturbances

and all the various types
of calls.

This is Ernie calling me.

What's up, man?

Well, hopefully,

you got
a little sleep tonight.

I did.
- I got about two hours.

All right, well,
hit me up on the computer

when you get there.

Okay, bye.

Ernie and I will usually work
overtime shifts together,

and it's amazing that we can
still tolerate each other,

because Monday through Friday,
we're partnered up

inside the same vehicle
all day.

And on Friday and Saturday,
we don't get enough,

so we end up signing up
for doing overtime together.

But I will say that
Patrol definitely

gets excited
when they see us show up.

A lot of the Patrol guys
are like,

"Oh, good," you know,

"Any Mental Health call
that comes out,

we're just gonna
give it to you guys."

In fact, recently,
they've sent us to two

pretty high-risk situations,
where it was jumpers involved.

One of them, the individual
was up on the bridge

over the ledge of I-10.

He goes,
"Well, it's now or never,"

and he just pushed himself off.

You see it,
and you can't unsee it.

You hear it.
You can't unhear it.

And when that individual
let go...

There was no scream.
There was no yell.

I can't imagine
what went through his head

as he let go, um...

Because we've talked
to some jumpers

who have survived,
and they've all said, you know,

that they were
absolutely certain

about what they wanted to do,

but the moment that they let
go, they wished they hadn't,

and those are the ones
that survive.

And so, you know,
we'll never know

what his thoughts were,
but I just--I would imagine

that in that situation,
you would yell

or you would scream
or you would say something.

But it was just,
"It's now or never,"

disappeared, silence,
one, two, pah.

And it was just a loud,
like, smack.

Like, it sounded
like a gunshot.

And I just--I paused.

I, like,
scurried up to the edge

and just could not believe
what just happened.

And then I remember
just kind of pacing.

I just was walking around,
pacing,

and just, like,
"What just happened?"

I mean,
just kind of taken aback,

you know, by, um... you know...

just a couple hours of dialogue
with this individual,

and then it was--just
like that, it was over.

The Mental Health unit
has become a passion of mine

because I've been
on the other side of it.

I've been the one
with my hand out saying,

"Please," you know,
"Somebody help me."

I was diagnosed with PTSD.

Operation Iraqi Freedom
began in March of '03.

Two, three days into the war,

we were in amtrac vehicles,

which are armored
and very safe vehicles,

just pushing up into Iraq,

and we saw
a firefight happening.

That was my first experience
at a real firefight.

That was my first experience
at what the sound of a bullet

going by your head is,
the whistle it makes.

It was something
that I was not prepared for.

And I remember
that next morning,

we're still in our convoy

and the top opened up
like a convertible

and we're standing there,
just looking out,

and I would see these vehicles
on the road

that were just blown up
and families in 'em,

children in 'em, just--I mean,
people burnt to the windows.

And I remember there was a boy.

I can--I could paint him,
draw him today,

how vividly he's in my head.

And he was in the--
he was on the street,

but he was maybe four
and facedown.

And I remember looking down,
and he,

right when we were passing,
he looks up at me.

And I was like,
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."

And he looked up,
and we just looked

right into each other's eyes,
but half of his head was gone.

And I remember, like,
begging for a corpsman.

You know, "Let's--we could
save this boy."

You know, "Corpsman,
Corpsman, Corpsman,"

like, "Hey, he's alive."

And not realizing the trauma
he had suffered, right?

Probably very minimal chance
of surviving that.

But just the fact
that he looked up,

looked at me, and me begging
for a corpsman to at least try,

and it was--
it fell on deaf ears.

It was this, "Who cares?

"He's gonna grow up
and be one of them.

He--we ain't worried
about that."

And I didn't realize the toll
that that would take on me.

I was 18 years old,

and I remember, like,
just shutting down.

Good morning.

Hey, man, click it
or ticket right here.

I got it.

We've been carpooling
for two years.

Yeah.

We meet at a church,
which is... um,

it's a little more convenient
for you, if we're honest.

- Well, you know...
- It's better for you.

So... but it just makes sense

'cause we get to, you know,
just catch up going in,

decompress going home,

and all the while
saving some gas,

some mileage on our cars
too, so it works out.

Hey, have you tried
MOD Pizza yet?

I haven't been yet.

'Cause I know you're
a paisan, man.

You can't stop.

- I can't help it.
- You're addicted.

I almost did it last night,
but I didn't do it, man.

I had a salad.

I was so proud of myself.

Oh, your ancestors are

rolling around
in their grave right now.

They're very
disappointed in me.

Joey, don't say no to the pie.

Hey, guys, we're gonna
break you up into groups.

We're gonna do
three role plays.

We understand that we're not
master's levels clinicians

and we never like to
Monday-morning quarterback

other officers
in what they do,

but we know that not everybody
is a born communicator.

In fact, we know some of you
are very poor communicators,

but we also know that
that's oftentimes by choice.

What kind of scenario
are you looking at doing today?

Do you want me to be
a depressed fireman?

Fixation on paranoia,
if you could.

And your scenario is gonna be?

I'm thinking manic,
but more on the side

of, like, with a psychosis, delusional.

Okay.

Antisocial,
tied in with PTSD,

and I'm ready to just
check out.

Hey, if you all could be
in your rooms in five minutes.

Five minutes.

You got a wife
calling on her husband,

concerned, and she said,
"He's getting real agitated.

"He punched some holes
in the wall.

I don't know
what his deal is."

So knock when you're ready,
and he'll come get you.

So we did get a call
from your wife,

and she sounded
a little worried about you.

I don't know what's going on.
- Oh, my God.

I can't sleep.

She wants me to stay
in the bed with her at night.

So there's a tactic

that used to be called
verbal Judo.

Now we're full in on the term
active listening.

Have you, sir...

Don't tell me
not to tell her!

- Sir...
- Be quiet!

Any time someone's
hallucinating,

any time someone
is delusional,

we need to try and figure out,
is it medical?

Is it mental illness?

And then ensure their safety,

'cause oftentimes
when they're hallucinating,

it's coupled with paranoia.

They're a little concerned
about that you haven't

shown up to work.

You haven't talked to anybody.

Talk to me.

This scenario right here,
is, he's becoming disconnected.

As human beings,
we have to be connected, right?

If I unplug a lamp,
it don't work.

If you unplug a human,
he don't work.

We'd like to take you
with us.

Don't tell me what to do.
Don't tell me what to do.

Remember, now, don't assume
just 'cause they tell you,

"I ain't going with you,"
that we have to go hands-on.

Because the moment we go
hands-on, we're committed.

As soon as I fall asleep,
they come.

I'm just--I'm gonna lean
against the wall here,

'cause I'm kind of lazy,
if that's all right.

Do you mind?
- I don't mind.

- All right.
- Do whatever you want.

- So who's "they"?
- My buds.

Okay.

I grabbed the trigger,

and all eleven of 'em were
turned into hamburger.

Good.

Right when you walk in,
right, shake hands,

calms him down.

You ask if he wants to sit,
he says "no,"

so then you go and throw
yourself against a wall,

which, again,
is a nonthreatening pose,

body language calms him down.

He gets amped up,
he throws his hat,

you didn't move at all.

I didn't ask about weapons
and stuff.

I should have done that.

That's the significance
of cover, right?

By building rapport
with someone,

by talking to them
the right way,

if I spend a little more time
with this person,

if I get them to open up to me

and I can get them
to willingly go with me,

to a hospital, to a clinic,
and I can make them see

that people are concerned
about them,

then they're more apt to get
help when they get there.

- It was a good group.
- Yes, sir.

Wheels up.

I worked right over here
to the right

at our local skating rink,

where I got to play
the records,

and back then,
yes, we had records.

It was vinyl.

You put a needle on it.
It would make noise.

No?

I got nothin'.

Oh, look at this.

Oh, man,
you gotta be kidding me.

Careful, just get around it.

You gonna stop?
- Yeah.

You know,
we really are a full service.

- What's up?
- What's up, man?

Rub some luck, man.
What's going on?

Did you just rub
my bald head for luck?

- Yes, I did.
- That is not how that works.

Good morning.

I'm gonna give you a hug, man.
How you doing?

You all right?

Hi, how are you?

- How are you?
- Good.

What Jonah is asked
by God to do

is to humble himself
for all of the world to see

and not just the people
that he's writing to...

Hey, Joe, what's up?

Trouble has arrived.

Push, push.

- Take care, Officer.
- All right.

I'm not your average guy
that's had the average life

that can just deal with one
little bump in the road.

I mean, I've dealt with bumps
throughout my whole life,

and I just know
what I can handle

and what I can't handle.

And I'm in a--I guess
you could call it

a transition phase right now.

Um... I'm actually going through
a divorce right now.

It's still pending.

I filed, I don't know,
over a month ago.

I did a lot of praying
about it, and, again,

I knew that it wasn't gonna be
a supported decision,

but I miss the hell
out of my kids.

I went from seeing them
every day,

waking 'em up
and having dinner with 'em

to now not.

Probably one
of the most difficult things

I've had to do,

one of the absolute
most unpopular things

I've ever done.

I got a pretty hurtful email
from one of the pastors

from church, like,
essentially telling me

that if I make this choice,
that he guarantees

that my life will spiral
out of control.

I'm a self-proclaimed
minimalist now.

I saw some just abstract art
that I liked,

and it was, like,
90 bucks online.

So I was like, "I could just
buy the materials myself

and figure this out."

And so I went to Michaels.

They were having a great sale.

I've never been
a sales shopper.

It felt great, and--actually,
I went to Hobby Lobby

and then Michaels,
which even--which,

I don't even know
who I am anymore.

But just spent a couple hours
just in the kitchen

with a trash bag,
just painting away,

and I found it to be
very therapeutic.

It was relaxing for me.

Um, as you can tell,
I'm not very good,

but I don't even care.

It still made it on my wall.

This is the one I copied.
I was gonna buy it.

85 bucks.

I liked blue since I was a kid.

Um, so it really
has nothing to do

with this being like,

a "Back the Blue" type print.

To be clear, I do
back the blue, obviously,

but it's just--it's totally
separate from that.

Well, I got
some homework to do.

You working on fractions?

Yeah.

When you're ready to try
some college algebra,

let me know and you can--

- Yeah, I'll wait till college.
- Oh, okay.

Did you do it?
- Yeah.

"Six minus five
is one over six."

Perfect.

I don't think you need
anymore of my help.

I think you know
how to do this.

Yep.

All right, go finish up
the rest of them, okay?

I'll be graduating
at the end of this year,

and my only regret is
I didn't do it sooner.

1 Thessalonians.

And so those kinds of things
are there.

Looks good.
I'll get you started over here.

I was in school
over 15 years ago

working on my degree.

In fact, I was almost done.

I was new
on the police department,

married, new baby.

Just didn't feel like
I had the time to fit it in.

I've always been, "Status quo
seems to be good enough."

But what prompted me
to go back, really, was Joe.

When he came to me
as a partner,

he was out of the Marine Corps.

You know, his life was
all over the place,

and my life was...

you know,
I say, "Boring is good."

You know,
I had a very boring life,

and I still do.

I love the fact
that I come home from work,

I've got my family,

I've got a routine
where, you know,

I spend time with my family,

I help my daughter
with homework,

we have dinner,
I do a workout,

I practice martial arts,

and then I read the Bible
and I go to bed,

and that is my life every day.

And, you know,
when Joe and I became partners,

he was going through
a difficult time

with his family and he wanted
to do something productive,

so he decided to get
his master's degree.

And the whole time,
I'm saying to myself,

"If he can do this,

"going through everything
he's going through,

what is stopping me?"

In San Antonio,

two police officers are
in critical condition

after a shootout.

San Antonio's Police Chief
said he has no idea

why the men opened fire
on his officers.

Heavenly Father, Lord,
we ask that you watch over

the families of Julio Cavazos
and Miguel Moreno.

It's been a very difficult
last 18 hours or so,

and, Lord, we just ask
that you be present for them.

Times like this are
very difficult for us.

We ask that you watch us today,
guide our attitudes,

watch our mouths, our minds,
our thoughts.

Protect us, Lord.
Watch over us.

In Jesus' name, amen.

all: Amen.

- Chief's about to speak.
- Oh, Chief.

So let me start.

Two officers who were assigned
from Central Patrol B shift

for vehicle burglaries,

and they happened across
a vehicle

that looked like it had been
broken into.

Officer Moreno
got out of the car,

and the one suspect walked
toward the police car,

and the other suspect
immediately opened fire.

Officer Moreno
went down immediately.

Officer Cavazos
came around the vehicle.

He also was shot.

Officer Cavazos will survive,
according to doctors' reports.

Officer Moreno
is not expected to survive.

I know the docs have
their peer support

and everything like that,
but I would like to see

one or two of y'all
at roll calls,

maybe three of y'all,
and find a private area.

And if somebody wants to talk,
one of y'all take 'em

back there and talk with 'em,
and--and--and, you know,

just do what you y'all do,
you know?

It just might be, like,
they'll see our face initially,

and they'll be like, "Nah,
I don't wanna talk to 'em."

And then maybe they'll just
let it simmer

in their head for a little bit
and say, "You know what?

Maybe I should talk to 'em."

We both worked Central,
at one point,

and I worked B shift
with those guys.

Can't imagine how you're
feeling right now, man,

so if you need anything...

It's just, you know,
we saw them yesterday, man.

It was... it's--you know,
be some guys

who need to talk about it,
so...

So pretty much
everybody's available

if they want more people
this weekend or something?

- Yes, sir.
- Okay.

Let me turn on
the lights on outside,

and I'm gonna try getting
dressed in a second, okay?

All right.

Your eggs are in here,
also your egg whites, okay?

So this will be your breakfast.

When I'm working overtime,
putting on the uniform,

there's a difference
that takes place.

When I'm at work
in Mental Health,

people don't know
I'm a police officer.

I bet you're tired, huh?

You're tired from today.
I'm tired.

- Today was...
- Oof.

- Today was a long day.
- Yep.

It's gonna be miserable
in this kind of heat right now.

Mm-hmm.

The East Side, where they've
had all the shootings lately.

We're gonna meet,
and it's my turn to drive.

Feels a lot tighter.

- Love you.
- All right, love you.

Group hug.
- Yeah.

All right, I'll see you all
in the morning.

- We love you, baby.
- Love you.

All right, good night.

There's my Joe.

Hi.
- What's happening?

You gonna park right there?

♪ I only love my bed
and my mama, I'm sorry ♪

Oh, wow.

Did you bring your lunch?

Yes.

What did you bring?

Ample snacks.

What does ample snacks
consist of?

Uh, some Pringles.

I have a Red Bull.

Okay.

Twizzlers for when
I need a health kick.

Oh, wow, you brought
your vitamin sticks, huh?

Huh.
- Um...

Where's the sandwich
in all this?

That didn't get made.

Well, if we don't get stuck
on a late call,

I actually have
an extra breakfast

of egg whites, oatmeal,
and turkey bacon,

if you get hungry
and want a decent meal.

Okay, 10-4, thanks.

- All right, I got her.
- Where is she at?

She's sitting
on the rail here.

Are you okay?

What's wrong?

Okay, well,
let us help you.

No.

We've--we've
never tried.

We've never tried
to help you.

Let us try.

Yeah, I hate to do it,
but if she does jump off,

it's gonna be onto
the eastbound lanes of 410,

so we might need
to get that shut off.

My name is Ernie.

Ernie.

This is my partner, Joe.

He's one of my best friends
in the world, okay?

You can trust him.

Kendra, let me ask you
a question, okay?

I'm not--nobody's tasing--

No one's gonna tase you.

My question is...

Okay.

Okay, we could help you
with that,

but it's hard for me
to hear you.

Will you at least
come over here

and let me talk to you?

I promise you,
I can help you.

I promise you, I can.

You might be broken,
but you're fixable.

That's not gonna
fix anything.

I promise you.

Listen, I know all about
schizoaffective disorders.

Okay, I'm just gonna move up
where you can hear me.

What is going on
with you today?

Is it voices?

Okay, tell me.
Tell me.

Okay.

Okay, you're not
giving me a chance.

I--I--I...

What is it
that you're addicted to?

What type of drug?

Let me help you tonight.
You're gonna be okay.

You're right,
I don't know you.

But I'm gonna show you
with my actions

that I care
and that I'm here to help you.

Okay?
You have my word.

Today's a bad day
for you, okay?

Let's work on getting
better today,

and we'll take it
one day at a time.

This is all I do.

I specialize in helping people

that are in
a mental health crisis.

That's my job.
You're gonna be okay.

I'm not lying.

Let me help you get out of
the pain that you're in, okay?

We're gonna take it
one step at a time, okay?

It's very difficult
for me to talk to you

while you're up there, okay?

Okay, you got me
scared, okay?

I'm very scared right now.

No one's coming up
behind you, I promise, okay?

You're--

I know, and you're making us
very paranoid too

by sitting up there.

You're scaring us.

Are you hearing voices
right now?

Okay, and what are
they saying to you?

Kendra, Kendra...

Kendra, you're making us
nervous up there.

No one's gonna hurt you.

I wanna ask you
some things, okay?

But I can't talk to you
like that.

It makes me
way too nervous.

There you go.
Thank you.

Thank you for trusting us.

Will you walk up to us?

We're not gonna
handcuff you at all.

It's okay.
You can sit down.

Nobody's gonna grab you,
I promise you.

I'm gonna stand
right here, okay?

That's it, so--just so
you can hear me.

Hey, will you walk to us?
No one's gonna handcuff you.

We're not tasing nobody.

Watch my hands.
Watch my hands.

Well, I used to be a part

of every part
of this process, okay?

You've already taken
the first step, okay?

Okay.

That's a big step,
and I appreciate it.

Thank you very much
for trusting us.

Kendra, you're obviously

in a lot of pain
right now, okay?

Let us help you out.

Kendra... Kendra that's
not a good option for you.

Kendra, we--no, no.

Hey, focus on us, okay?

Sit down, sweetheart.
Let's talk for a minute, okay?

If you had a list
of priorities for help,

what would be
your number one help?

Would it be--

Well, that's not an option.

No, that's not
gonna happen, okay?

Okay, I promise you,
we have not told you one lie.

Let me show you
that you can trust us.

You know what?

You're stronger
than the voices, Kendra.

You know--yes, you are.

Let's just focus
on each other right now, okay?

It's just us three, okay?

We don't need to worry
about anybody else.

We just need to worry
about us three here, all right?

And I just want you
to shake my hand,

so I can--so you can show me
that you can trust me.

I'm an old man.

I can't jump up
and grab you, okay?

If I shake your hand
and walk away,

will you trust me?

I won't--I promise you,
I'm not gonna grab you.

Shake my hand,
and I'll let you go.

He's one of my best friends.
He's not gonna lie to you.

Watch.
I'm not gonna grab you.

I promise you.
That's it.

It's good to meet you, okay?
That's it.

Thank you.
There you go.

Thank you.

You can trust us, Kendra.

I know you are.
I know you are.

Here, sit down
and let's talk.

Let's get some
information, okay?

You're doing good.
- Relax, relax.

There you go.

All right, okay.
Where--

Okay, hold on, hold on.
Let's talk about some options.

Have you been to Laurel Ridge?

Okay, have you been to
San Antonio Behavioral Health?

It's a new facility.

Okay, so you've
never been there.

So you haven't tried
everything then.

It seems like you're out
of options, but you're not.

You're not out of options.
You're okay.

Let's get something to eat,
something to drink,

and then we'll figure out
what's a good--what's a good...

option for you, okay?

I'm gonna stand up, okay?
There you go.

You're okay, sweetheart.
There you go.

There you go.
- I told you could trust us.

You hungry?

We told you we're keeping
our word, all right?

Yes.

You just need an antianxiety

to calm yourself down
a little bit.

- I took some.
- Okay.

When's the last time
you had one?

Okay.

So you could probably use one
right now.

Okay, all right.

Looks like you've calmed down
a little bit, okay?

And that's good.
All right.

So let's talk about
some options

of getting you some help.

Do you have any kind
of funding source at all

like Medicare, Medicaid, anything?

No? Okay.
- No, I didn't...

Okay, that's all right.

Have you ever been
to the crisis center?

That's--oh, wow.
Okay.

Well, what we can do is
that when they get ready

to give you a treatment plan
for discharge,

we can have them call us.

We gotta figure out a way
we're gonna be able

to find you
to get ahold of you.

I need to check in, make sure
you're gonna be all right.

We're gonna take you
to talk to a counselor.

That's not true.

You met two people tonight
that do care.

Just worry--just focus
on your breathing, okay?

I just called and spoke
to the nurse and the doctor.

They're there waiting on you
right now.

This is 5799.

Adult female
to the crisis center.

601 North...

Are you getting some air
back there?

They're should be some vents
right above you.

Okay.

Well, when they get ready
to discharge you,

I'm gonna give you
my phone number,

and you call me.

All right?

And if you need a ride there
or whatever you need,

you call me or Joe.

We're gonna help you.

3320
3-5-8-0-9.

When do you all graduate?

all: September 1st.
- September 1st, okay.

So understand that
the chief has made

Mental Health unit priority
on this department,

and it'll only work
if you use it, all right?

This is really the future
of policing,

and I'll be honest,
as a police cadet,

not that this will surprise
anybody in here,

but my focus wasn't how to talk
to people the right way.

I mean,
teach me how to drive fast,

and teach me
how to shoot my gun,

teach me how to breach a door.

And I understand
that I am not popular

for standing up here
in front of you guys

and telling you this,

but I also understand
that the high 90s percent

of every call you make
is gonna be some form

of an emotional disturbance
where someone just needs you

to show up and give a shit.

Okay, guys, let me get
your attention for a second.

It's my pleasure
to introduce to you

Michelle Mata and Verna Lister.

These ladies have dedicated
their time

to share their stories
with you guys.

They're here representing NAMI,

National Alliance
for Mental Illness.

Don't be afraid
to ask us anything.

Please forgive me.
I'm a little nervous.

Uh, you know, a room full
of police officers, whew.

Usually, I'm being arrested
or something.

Mental health humor.

Yes, sir?

When people hear voices,

are they thoughts,
or are they, like,

somebody's talking to you?

Uh, for myself,
when I hear voices,

I hear voices,
and I sometimes wonder,

you know, "I hear them.
Why can't you?"

Um, but those voices are real.

I had one daughter,

she could hear the neighbors
ten houses down

and couldn't believe
that I couldn't hear 'em.

Um... hallucinations,
seeing things.

She thought she saw
a man in the street

that just shot six people
and called for help.

These are
biological brain disorders.

For you to say, "No,
you're not seeing 'em,"

you're not gonna get anywhere
because they are seeing 'em.

What can we do
to reassure you, as a parent?

We're there to deal
with the crisis,

but what can we do to help you
as well?

Education,
that's what helped me.

Yes, sir?

I don't wanna use
the wrong term,

but, like, when you were having
"episodes" versus now,

do you remember, like,
your thought processes

and everything?

To tell you the truth,
when I'm in a crisis,

I don't know what's going on.

Remember that there's--
there's somebody

inside of that person
that's having a crisis.

Talking to them
and calming is what they need.

And I'm not saying--I'm saying
you protect yourselves.

Don't get me wrong.

But I'm saying, these people
normally are not violent.

Thank you so much
for listening to us today.

And taking the training.

Thank you, guys.

Looks like Amanda's
already here,

probably already inside.

Hello.
Hey!

How are ya, sweetheart?

Good, how are you?

- You look great.
- Hi.

What is up?
What is up?

Well, I'm 1 1/2 months clean,

and I feel...

- Wow.
- I feel clean.

I was just telling my friend
on the phone, I said,

"A month ago, I was about
to jump off of the bridge.

Look at me now," like...

I think you kind
of motivated me to--'cause

you're like,
you were scared of heights,

and I'm like,
"Well, I'm scared of life,

but that doesn't mean give up."

So I was shocked.

I didn't know that the police
knew about mental health.

It's hard, because, you know,

you wanna--I wanna do so much,

but I have to go slow.

- And be patient.
- I have to be patient, yeah.

So you gotta set short-term
goals that are achievable.

Yeah.

And then even if
it's just that day

and you know where help is.

Yeah, I was like,
"Okay, I'm gonna get a job."

That's my first
short-term goal,

and I got that,
so, like--

And it feels good, right?

What are they gonna
have you do, you know?

- I'm a server.
- Okay.

What are your hours gonna be?

Probably like
4:00 to 10:00,

and then maybe
sometimes overnight.

So on that overnight shift,

that bar breakout crowd
and the rowdy groups

that are the party lifestyle,

and it's gonna appeal
or appear attractive at points,

especially if you're having
a bad day, and then all...

here's the problem is,

you're on a slippery slope,
right,

between doing really well
and succeeding

and completely falling apart

and undoing everything
you've done.

Mm-hmm.

Which is what happened
that night, right?

Yeah, exactly.

The other side of that is,

look how it's been now, right?

So--so I'm concerned about you
working the overnight shift,

but I think as long as, again,
you've talking about it,

you're thinking about it,

then you'll be better equipped
to deal with that.

- Mm-hmm.
- But...

I'm confident that
you're gonna do well.

Thank you.

And shut all these
weirdos out at 3:00 a.m.

Say, "Hey, Kendra,
you wanna go party after?

I like you.
You got a pretty smile."

Go--be like, "Hell no.

I gotta go home
to my dog, Joe."

All right?

'Cause that's what you're gonna
name him, Little Joey.

That's what I'm gonna
name him, Little Joey.

- There you go, Little Joey.
- Just say, "No comment."

- Great to see you, Kendra.
- Thanks for coming by.

You're welcome.

I'm proud of you.

- Bye, Ms. Kendra.
- Bye.

- You know how to reach us.
- Yes.

Do it before you need it, okay?

I will.

But if you need it,
you can call us too then, okay?

Yes.

See ya.

That was good, man.

That made my day.

241, I've got Mental Health
on the way for you.

241.

An abandoned vehicle.

They said inside the vehicle,
they found a gun and ammo.

Caller states they found male

who was trying
to commit suicide.

He's at the front door
of Sugar's.

See what's happening here.

So he just bought that?
- Yeah.

We just beat him to it.

Did he have it
loaded up yet or no?

No.

Okay.
Is he cooperating pretty good?

Okay.

Yeah.

Hey, what's going on, man?

Begin with today.
What happened today?

So you just went today
to buy that gun, bro?

I did, yeah.

Have you ever tried
to kill yourself in the past?

Okay.

Where's your dad at?

Oh, that's your pop?

Your boss?
How'd your boss get out here?

Did you call him?

If you shift the perspective,
it's embarrassing

or that's a community
of people that give a shit.

Of course you do, man.

But that's the beauty
of family, though.

You're allowed to.

I could give you an hour-long
class on that, brother.

I've got five kids
from three women.

So I can relate,
but I don't know

what your dynamics are,
your family situation,

the mess
that's behind all this.

I don't know,
but I would venture to say

that your childhood
relationships weren't perfect.

Right.

Well, I can only tell you,
because, similar,

that's what I grew up with,
and I have the same issues.

Yeah, it sucks,

because I've struggled with
suicidal thoughts, you know,

and it's like,
I see it almost weekly

out here on the job I do,
where we're too late,

where people do it,
and it's like, "Fuck."

I really think that help
would benefit you.

And I know it might not
feel like it right now,

but you've got a lot to be
hopeful for,

even if it doesn't seem like it
right now.

Trust me.

7821.

Does he have any
medical needs at this time?

He is ambulatory,
he is not intoxicated,

he is not compromised,
and he is not violent.

Then were there
any weapons used?

There is a firearm.

However, we are going
to release it

to a family member.

8357, I'll call ahead,
let them know

you're gonna be en route soon.

Okay, thank you.

The firearm is being
released to the dad.

I explained to him the process.

- Yeah.
- But he was good about...

wanting to keep it
and putting it in a safe.

- Okay.
- All right?

Next time, we gotta take it, though.

Okay.

Can I talk to you real quick?

As far as the firearm goes...

- I know.
- Oh, okay.

- I'm just letting you know...
- Oh.

Because if you
give him access

and then something happens...

I know.

Yeah, just don't give him
access.

No.

All right, we'll get him
squared away tonight.

- Okay.
- All right?

- I appreciate it.
- Thank you, sir.

Hi, how are you?
- I'm good.

Made a suicidal outcry,

going through
some situational depression.

You are
at an emergency detention.

You'll be here be here
up to 48 hours.

He's not liking the news.

You wanna talk to him?

It's temporary.
Remember, we talked about that.

This is all temporary.
This isn't forever.

You're not in trouble.

It's just, we need to get you
squared away, man.

You can keep the shoes
but not the laces.

Oh, yeah.

The laces are a hazard,
so they need to be...

Even if it's frustrating,

cooperate what they tell you
to do, man.

You'll get out of here,
and then I'm gonna follow up

with you in a couple of days,
all right?

He's getting scared too.

How you doing?

When you have that connection,

it's so hard for me
to let certain things go.

I know that
I can't fix it, right?

I can't--I can
hospitalize him.

That's gonna keep him safe

for a 24-, 48-, 72-hour
period of time,

but it doesn't
change their life.

And so it's hard sometimes
to realize

that you're only
maybe the first step,

which is good, um...

but I wish it could be more.

How's class?

It was good.
It was good.

We had a guy last night
that went and bought

a gun and bullets
and was gonna kill himself,

and I told him
that I really wanted

to follow up with him.

Is he in the hospital
right now? So...

He might be released
'cause he's unfunded.

Is there a way to find out
if he's still at Nix?

- Yep.
- Yeah.

I mean, you can
just call over Nix.

I'll be incredibly impressed
if he's still at the Nix.

He was brought in last night
around 10:00 p.m.

He's already discharged?

Wow.
Okay, thank you so much.

Bye.

That's not even
a 24-hour stay.

I'm gonna call him,

'cause I felt like we had
a thing going.

Hey, bud, it's Joe Smarro,

the officer that met you
last night

and spoke with you
for a little while

before you went to the Nix.

Um... called up there
to follow up.

They said you've
already been discharged,

so we called
the mental health authority

and got some
information for you.

So if you could please
call back,

I'd appreciate it,

and I'll give you a shout
tomorrow or next week,

just to keep nagging you, man,

until you take my call,
all right?

Quit screening me.

I'll talk to you soon, bud.
All right, bye.

Men are 60 times more likely

to reattempt suicide
postdischarge

and women are 102 times
more likely

to reattempt postdischarge.

One of the sticking points
for me in the work

that we do on this unit
and the call we had last night

is exposure.

We see it on the screen:
"suicide in progress,"

"suicide completion,"
"dead on arrival."

We see it, you know, weekly.

When you see it
time and time again,

it becomes normalized,
and it's not normal.

I've seen it
in the Marine Corps.

A brother marine
killed himself in Iraq.

And then I've seen it
on the police department

with an officer who
hung himself at headquarters.

We had been helping him
for a year

and got him into counseling.

He was doing
extensive counseling

several times a week.

He--you know, it was just--and
then to--and to experience

his level of anxiety
day in and day out

and the stress
he was going through

and just the amount of problems

that he was undertaking
on his own and...

And then to see him hanging
in the police garage,

just completely still...

it's eerie, you know.

But you know
his struggle's over.

There's like this exhale
of... they're at peace.

Police department culture,
right?

We're kind of a little
subculture within society.

We're just different, right?

We have to process
and deal with

a lot of traumatic stuff.

We're here to talk
a little bit about

the three suicides
that we've had here

in the last 16 months at work.

It's a reality
of what is suicide

in law enforcement,
that we kill ourselves

three to one versus
dying in the line of duty.

All right?
So there's a trend happening.

We need to have a lot
of insight to ourselves,

and we need to be extremely
honest with ourselves, too,

when it comes to
what our needs are.

I'm not gonna ask you
what your coping skills are.

I'm not gonna ask you
to raise your hand

and everyone go around
the room and tell me

"How do you deal
with a bad day?

"How do you deal with it

"when your wife
gets mad at you?

What's your coping skill?"

"I like to drink 30 beers."

You know, "I like to go out
and shoot my gun, like,

off into the air."

Whatever it is that we do,

not all of us have, like,
a lockbox at home

with a box of beautiful pens

and we get home
after a bad day

and we open up
and we just start journaling,

"Today was the worst day."

You guys don't do that, right?

I guarantee you guys
don't do that.

But what I am asking, guys,
is that you not

stare me in the face and say,
"You know, Joe,

"I've always wanted to know
what it would feel like

"to shoot myself in the head.

I've always wondered."

And for my entire career now,

I've taken my weapon,
and I would empty it.

You know, I'd visibly
and physically inspect it

to make it clear,

and I'd put it to my head
and I'd pull the trigger.

Is that healthy behavior?
Is that a good coping skill?

So when we're coming to you
and we're talking to you

about police officer suicides,

I'm asking, I'm asking,
I'm pleading with you

to step up and really look
after one another.

You know,
music works for some people.

Paint works for some people,
writing...

and so, for me, it's just...

it's something that helps
control the thoughts.

I'm someone
with an unfortunate upbringing

or not ideal childhood.

I have no memories

of anything prior
to, like, third grade.

Um, and when I hear
kids talk about

kindergarten or first grade,
I'm like,

"Wow, how do they--like,

how do they remember
that stuff," you know.

And I think my brain kind
of blacked out certain things.

Um, my father was deployed.
He was in the navy.

And my mother had an affair,

and the guy she was having
an affair with,

he--he, uh, sexually molested
my sister and I.

And as a kid, you can't process
something like that,

just the amount of disconnect

from, like, a loving family.

I never saw a good marriage.

I never saw
a good representation

of a relationship.

I never had any idea
what love was,

what, you know, commitment was.

I didn't know,
and so by the time I was

a senior in high school,

I, you know,
have unprotected sex,

and then you have a kid.

I was a 18-year-old father

who'd just graduated
high school four days ago

and was like, "Let's go
in the Marine Corps."

And it wasn't till I got out
and was out for eight years

and then I'm at VA
getting therapy

and I never realized why,
of all the things

that I experienced in Iraq,
the kids bothered me the most.

And then I get into
the police department.

It's, like, the kids
that bother me the most.

It was brought to my attention
that, like,

the reason that's
the problem for you

is because you're that kid.

I love feelings.

That's...

I say that jokingly
but also honestly.

That's--every time
I'm in therapy,

and I'm talking about anything,

my therapist hands me
this piece of paper,

which I just wanna
punch a hole in,

and it's the Feeling Wheel,

and it's just a wheel
of emotions.

And I'll get, like, amped up

when I'm venting
about something

or I'll get excited
about something.

And she'll just hand it to me
very, like, calmly,

like, "What are you feeling?"

I'm like, "Ugh, I just wanna
rip this thing."

But there's value in it,
because I get to use

a lot of what I've experienced
and learned

and help other people.

But it's just--you've--
it's a fine line

between giving
of yourself and...

allowing yourself to be got.

I haven't heard from Joe
yet this morning,

but he'll--he'll text me.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Where you at?

Um, I'm on 281, headed to go
see--check on Kendra right now.

See if we can't--
- Checking on who?

- Kendra.
- Oh, okay.

All right, baby.
- All right.

Love you, sweetheart.
- Love you.

- Bye-bye.
- I love you, bye.

I'm not sure
what room number,

so I'll have to find out.

This is the last known address
I know of.

Hello.

Man, that was not
what I wanted to hear.

I spoke to the management here.

They said that, uh, they had to

ask her and her boyfriend
to leave about two weeks ago

because he was continually
beating her.

And, um, so they had
to ask 'em to leave

because it was just causing
too many problems,

all the fighting that was
going on here.

Said she felt sorry for Kendra,

'cause she shouldn't be
getting beat like that.

So now we try to
find out where she went.

I can't see.

What does that one say?
That say two?

I think so.

Hey, hey, get in here.

Hi.

- Stranger.
- Look at you.

Look at you.

Oh, my goodness,
how you been?

- How you doing?
- Great, come in.

I've been running around
trying to find you.

- I know, I hear.
- Yeah.

We got our own "hotel room."
We tried to make it work.

It didn't.

Management told me
that they had

to ask y'all to leave
because the violence was

starting to get out of hand,
that he was hitting you

and beating you and, uh...

So I--

I couldn't even imagine
what was going on with you.

I don't know, you know,
I guess, with me,

with that was, I just wanted
to feel loved, you know.

And, at times,
he did feel--

make me feel that way,
you know.

That's why I stayed,
but, you know, I packed up,

niece bring me over here.

This person's great.

I mean, I've been knowing
him for five years,

and I wake up, I'm happy.
I'm stress-free.

I have no worries.
I'm drug-free.

Some days,
I could just be overjoyed,

and I can't give you an answer
why I'm so happy, but...

Okay.
All right.

You know you
have support, right?

You know that we're here
for ya.

Mm-hmm.

We don't want Kendra
on the bridge no more.

- No.
- Right?

That was a rough night.
- Yeah.

I think you've come
a long way since then.

You've had some setbacks, okay?
And that's life.

Mm-hmm.

But, you know,
how you deal with it

and how you grow
from that is, you know,

gonna set you up for
the next time there's a crisis,

'cause they're gonna come.
They're inevitable, right?

Don't hesitate to call us,
you know.

I shouldn't be the one
always trying to chase you.

- True.
- Okay?

Yeah.

- We do it 'cause we care...
- Yeah.

But understand that we're

just a phone call away,
you know.

And, you know, we've always
stopped what we're doing

to come and help you.

Yeah.

Is there anything that
you need right now from us?

- Um...
- Be honest.

No, I've been--

- Did you get food stamps?
- I have my food stamps.

- Did you get Medicaid?
- I have my Women's Health.

- Oh, you get Women's Health?
- Yeah.

Okay, so you got all that?

Where are you at
with your disability?

I'm not sure.

I'll reach out
to the benefits officer

that you worked with.

Just gotta get back in touch
with her, like you said.

Schedule an appointment
by the end of the week.

- Joe?
- Joe, words of wisdom, Joe?

I just hope that...

you follow through
with everything

that's available to you

because there's a lot
of good programs

that are out there.

And... just because
you're in a good relationship

and just 'cause you have family
and friends and support...

Mm-hmm.

And a place to go
that's safe

and you're not being hit
and you're not using drugs

doesn't mean that you
don't still have issues

that need to be worked through, right?

And so it's important
that even though

you're in a good relationship,
if that's true.

- Yeah, yeah.
- I hope so.

And even if you are drug-free,
if that's true, and I hope so,

then you still need
to make sure

you're doing your maintenance.

Yeah.

You deserve to be happy
but truly.

Yeah.

You need to focus on you.

You need to follow through
with what Amanda's saying.

You need--I mean,
but I don't wanna tell you

all the things you have to do.

If you want us on board,
we're happy to join you.

If you wanna throw us
overboard,

that's an option too.

All right?
- Yeah.

That's not what we want.
All right.

- Thank you for coming by.
- You got it.

Take care, all right?
- You too.

- All right, kiddo.
- It's good to see you.

Thanks for coming.

- Take care.
- Yep.

- She seemed good.
- She seems good.

- I don't buy it.
- No?

Like you said,
she's got support,

if she wants it.

She just hadn't utilized it
very much in the past.

I don't think she wants it.

She wants a boyfriend
that's gonna take care of her.

- That's gonna love her.
- And that's that.

I think that was
the most honest thing is,

she wants to be loved,
which we all do.

But I think that is priority.

You know...

I don't know.

And, again,
she hasn't reached out.

She tracked her down
through her sister.

It's just--I think
it's obvious,

but what do I know?

I only have a little bit
of a lot of experience.

All right,
well, first of all,

thank you for inviting us out
and having us out here.

We're gonna talk to you

a little bit
about mental health, okay?

Is mental health
an issue in the schools?

all: Yes.

Really?
A little bit or a lot?

all: A lot.
- A lot.

Has anybody had that happen
in their classroom,

a full-blown crisis?

- Yes.
- Yes.

We had a little girl who was
hiding up under the sink

because hands were coming
out of the floor

and mirror to get her.

This child was
actually having hallucinations.

Do you mind if we do
a little demonstration?

Are y'all okay with that?
all: Yeah.

You, big guy.
Come on up here, big guy.

All right.
I need you four right here.

All right,
this is what we're gonna do.

You ready?

So when somebody is having
auditory hallucinations,

all you are is another voice.

Okay, nice and loud.
Y'all ready?

- Whoa.
- Hello, sir.

I need you to focus
on my voice.

Can you focus on my voice?

Okay, I'm here to help you.
You understand?

I'm here to help you.
You're not in any trouble.

- What should I do?
- Okay, all right, good.

What did I say?

Focus on me,
listen to my voice.

You made it more intimate,
if you wish.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- And you could understand me?
- Yeah.

Okay, good.
We're good?

Yes.

Sarge called Ernie and I in

and explained
that we're updating policy

specific to weapons
that we take off

of the consumers that we're
placing in the hospitals.

Essentially, what happens is,

any time encounter someone
that is threatening

suicide or homicide
or even if they're

mentally decompensated
and they have access

to a firearm,
we now take the firearm,

put it in the property room.

Then I work hand-in-hand
with the county clerk

to find out, is this person
gonna be committed or not.

If they get committed,

they essentially
lose access to that firearm.

If they are not
being committed

or trying to get the firearm
released to a family member,

that person has to sign
an affidavit saying,

"I will not give access
of this firearm

to the person that we took
into custody."

And so within the department,
there's been a huge shift.

Been on the department
12 years,

been on this unit,
last month was nine years.

When I came on,
we didn't have Mental Health

on the computer screens.

It wasn't a call.

We have completely
normalized the terms,

but I know that
I'm not in the majority

of thinking that way
in this profession,

but I'm hoping that is
going to change,

whether that's with my help
and voice

or it's a national movement
or whatever it is,

at least we're starting
the conversation.

Yeah, this is gonna be
a big one.

It is.

I can already tell
this is gonna be

bigger than last year's.

- Yep.
- I can tell that for sure.

It sure is.

All right.

Good morning.
Hey.

- Morning.
- Good morning.

That's my son, Reed.

This walk attracts all
the people from the community.

It brings in
police department,

sheriff's department,
the hospitals,

two different academy classes.

- What's up, dude?
- How's it going?

- Hey, hey.
- Told you, dude.

How you doing?
Good morning.

Thank you, thank you, sir.

Hey, Sarge.

Good morning.
Thank you.

- Hello.
- Morning, sir.

Hey, good to see ya, man.

- Thank you, we'll see you.
- All right, thank you.

I've been a policeman here
for 22 years.

I was here when Mental Health
didn't work.

I was here
when police officers

weren't doing
the right things.

Hey, Gilbert, are you gonna be
at the school next month?

- Yeah.
- Okay, all right.

I'm towards the end
of my career.

Hopefully, Lord willing,
I'm gonna maybe work

another five years,
and hopefully, that's it.

But until that time,
I wanna be a part of this.

I am so glad.
These are a...

- Hey, how are you?
- Hi.

He actually came to the house.

She was just in crisis.
Yes.

We appreciate
all that you're doing.

You got it.

There go the cadets.
all: Yes, sir.

all: Yes, sir.
Hoo-rah.

When the worlds of
the police and the mentally ill

collide on the street,
it's usually a bad outcome.

We can pretty much
assure ourselves

that it's not gonna
work out like that

because of our C.I.T. training,
40 hours,

every person on the department,

every cadet
before they graduate

from the academy.

The day has come.

It's been about six weeks
of preparation.

I was honored enough to be
selected by TEDx

to speak
at the event this year,

and, you know, because I am
very comfortable

public speaking and teaching,

I really thought that this
was gonna be pretty easy.

And I can tell you
stepping into the theater

for the first time yesterday
and going onstage

and being on the red dot
that I've been watching

on, you know, the Internet
and YouTube and everything

for years was very surreal.

To actually be there and to see
the sign behind you and...

and I made it through
the first two sentences

and completely locked up.

My brain went black,

and I had no clue
what I was talking about.

Like, "What is happening?"

I was like, "I have no idea,
except I am not ready."

How many people are in here?

All right, man, what ear
would you prefer it on?

- Right.
- Right?

I don't know what is
going on with this.

I don't think it's supposed
to float like that.

You ready, Joe?

I realized I was showing
too much cleavage.

I was gonna say,
you don't wanna show your...

okay, so what are you gonna
do with your notes?

Two of these is where I was
getting stuck.

Okay, just hold it
in your hand,

and if you need it,
reference it.

Deep breath.

Our next speaker tonight
served our country

as a marine in Iraq
and Afghanistan.

That deserves
a round of applause.

And now "I See You."

Ladies and gentlemen,
Joe Smarro.

I'm a police officer,

possibly quite different
than most.

Years ago, there was
a blockbuster movie, "Avatar,"

and they had this simple
three-word greeting

they would use
when they saw each other,

and it really resonated
with me.

I see you.

I see you.

So I work in a specialized unit
in law enforcement,

and all the calls we respond to

are people suffering
from a mental health crisis.

But everything about how
we respond to these calls

goes against
what most would expect.

In fact, the only weapon
I've relied on

over the last nine years
has been my ability to listen

and empathize with people,
to connect.

I tell them how sorry I am
that I showed up uninvited.

I tell them how sorry I am

that they have to live
with their difficult diagnosis.

According to the National
Alliance on Mental Illness,

we live in a country where 20%
to 25% of our adult population

has a diagnosable
mental illness.

4% of those have
a serious mental illness,

and less than half
of these individuals

will engage in treatment at any
point throughout the year.

So how do we improve?

How do we make things better?

Let's be honest.

I lied earlier when I said
I am a police officer.

Law enforcement is what I do,
but I am Joe,

and you are insert your name.

I'm a father,

I'm a United States
Marine Corps combat veteran,

I'm a survivor
of childhood physical abuse,

I'm a survivor
of childhood sexual abuse,

and I have a mental illness.

And throughout my career,

I've learned to look
at another person and say,

though perhaps
not explicitly with my words,

but I see you.

That is, you don't have
to hide from me,

you don't have
to pretend with me,

and you certainly don't
have to fear me

because I can relate to you.

I see you.

Some of the things
I've shared with you

may have made
some of you uncomfortable.

Honestly, good.

I choose to speak openly
about my experiences

in hopes that it will inspire
someone, if even one,

to take necessary risks
for their own mental health.

Now, I'm fortunate to work

on a progressive
police department that gets it

and provides
the type of support

that I'm talking about
here today.

But I don't want this idea
of empathy and connection

and seeing each other

to get stuck
in this small circle

of first responders
or law enforcement.

What if we took the great words
of Arthur Ashe when he said,

"Start where you are,
use what you have,

and do what you can."

Maybe then we can all connect

and move forward
in the right direction.

And, finally, let's agree
to stop being so afraid.

Let's stop hiding.

I see you.

Thank you.

I know that some new numbers
were just released,

but there was an increase
in Mental Health calls.

Yeah, we're going
to see an increase in calls.

Uh, that's just
been the trend.

I go to a lot of cities

and I speak
to a lot of departments

and the first thing
I ask them is,

"Do you collaborate with your
local mental health authority?"

And so many times, I get,
"Oh, forget it.

They're impossible."

Then I said, "Then you're
spinning your wheels

"because if you
don't collaborate,

you're not gonna have
a successful program."

Tonight we're on the streets

with one police department's
mission:

to change their approach
to interactions

with the mentally ill.

Hey, buddy, Beavis and
Butt-Head at the same time.

Hey, man.

You're gonna break
the steering wheel.

Stop it.

I'm glad you got that
out of your system.

- Are you done?
- You ready to go to work?

I'm amped up, man.

I am so ready
to help people.