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Tonight, another body cam video is putting

a spotlight on how police interact

with the mentally ill.

Hello. What's going on?

How you doing? What's going on?

What's going on?

As Shirley walks out,

police notice a screwdriver in her son Jason's hand.

Drop that thing. Drop that for me, guy.

- J! - Drop it!

- J! - Drop it.

J! Don't shoot. Don't shoot!

Oh, you killed my son!

Oh! He killed my...

7821.

10-4.

Complain he's being belligerent and, uh, hostile.

7821, she's not answering.

I'm following her.

755 80th Street.

For three miles, I've been following her.

She's dark complected, heavyset,

wearing dark clothes,

getting high in the doorway across the street.

Uh, I'll ring the doorbell now.

- Good morning. - What's up, buddy?

You got Coban up?

Officer Stevens, Officer Smarro,

badge 483, 845.

March 7th, 10:06 a.m., Mental Health.

Yeah, this call, this is our Central Magistrates Office.

They need help with a man

who'd wandered in off the street,

and he's in one of the courtrooms

causing a disturbance.

He's afraid of anyone in a uniform.

And, luckily, right around the corner from there

is our local mental health authority.

This one's gonna get us tied up for a while.

We used to have a saying in law enforcement:

"Ask, tell, make."

I'm gonna ask you to do it, I'm gonna tell you to do it,

and I'm gonna make you do it.

I understand that I'm walking into the person

that didn't call me there

and didn't want me there, oftentimes.

I respect the fact that they have a mental illness

and that they don't want law enforcement

interacting with them.

And if it takes 20, if it takes 90,

if it takes 120 minutes to convince them

that, one, we're not gonna hurt 'em,

and, two, they're gonna come with us,

it's just a matter of how they're gonna come with us.

Here, it's the gentleman in the gray shirt.

- Okay. - Okay.

If that takes me all day long...

- How you doing? - I'll take all day long.

You okay?

Oh, no, no. This is my partner, Joe.

My name's Ernie.

How can we help you today?

What do you all do?

We're with the police department.

I'm a--stay right there.

I'm having a hard time hearing you, okay?

What brings you in here today?

And where have you been? - Here.

You don't feel safe here?

Okay.

Okay, Keith.

All right, no one here is gonna hurt you.

You're kind of scaring some of these people.

Oh.

None of these people know you, okay,

and you're kind of scaring 'em right now.

What about any drug use?

I have done drugs, okay? I have--

I know.

When you were using drugs, what'd you use?

Thinking I'm funny.

I don't care what it is.

It doesn't matter in the ghetto.

I appreciate you being honest.

Hey.

I appreciate you being honest.

So... - I need a--

Okay, so here's the thing, Keith.

You were honest with me. I'm gonna be honest with you.

I'm just--I'm worried about you, man.

I'm worried about, like...

Tell me.

Yeah, go ahead and sit down, bro.

We kind of catch flack,

internally in the department, of being poor tactically.

"You guys got poor tactics

'cause you sit down with people."

Yeah, I sit down with people,

'cause I'm not gonna stand over 'em

and talk down at 'em.

I'm gonna sit down and get at their level,

because they're gonna tell me a lot more

than they're wanting to tell you.

You don't need to gather your people, Keith.

This isn't a Western.

I know it's serious.

Well, we can get you out of here.

Yeah, we will.

You think someone's gonna come up

and do something to you while we're with you?

No.

Just walk with us, Keith.

We'll show you that you're gonna be safe. Come on.

You mind leaving your pen, bud? - Yeah, leave your pen here.

Yeah.

All right, thank you, buddy.

You still nervous?

Would you feel safer just to have a seat?

I got tinted windows, so nobody can see you, man.

There's a place right down the street

that we're gonna go to,

and you'll stay with us until we get there, okay?

Okay, have a seat.

Well, we'll get you checked out and evaluated, okay?

Yeah, we'll just go mental decomp, not sleeping...

um, paranoid...

- All right. - What's going on?

- 'Sup? - Hi, how are you?

He's just finishing up his AFR from that call.

It's not over, you know,

as far as this call's concerned.

Future follow-ups definitely in the picture.

Yeah.

All right, you guys have any, like, priorities?

I got a call from a sergeant from Central last night

about how long we have to wait in the hospital...

- Yeah. - With the patient.

But just kind of as a reminder, let patrol know,

"Hey, there's no written mandate,

"but as a courtesy, you know, we stay with the patient

"for at least 30 minutes, and the hospital needs

"to make some accommodations to get them

checked into a room or have somebody watch them."

Okay.

We're hearing more and more about officers just refusing

to do what they've been trained to do.

- Yep. - Yes.

Probably because their training was

X amount of years ago.

Yeah, I heard that same-- that same issue.

Okay.

So I think we may need to do more training.

Thank you, Joe.

My name's Joe Smarro. I've been with SAPD since 2005.

Before that, I was in the Marine Corps.

Oorah.

My name is Ernie Stevens.

I've been on the SAPD going on my 22nd year.

Prior to that, I was a Cub Scout.

Oorah?

No? Okay. - No.

Thought I'd try, man.

People don't call 911 to say,

"Hey, I just wanna let you know, man,

"the stock market's doing great.

"My portfolio's on point.

"I'm really happy with my wife

"and my kids are healthy.

So thank you for the work you do."

That doesn't happen, right?

No one calls us to give us good news.

They call us because something bad is happening

in their environment, under their umbrella,

something bad's happening, and so they're in a crisis.

On average, in a police academy in this country,

they spend 60 hours or more learning how to shoot a gun

and they spend 8 on mental health and communication.

We need to shift that.

2110 and 2120...

Standing by.

Well, let me get out there and find out

what's going on, and I'll keep you updated.

All right, then. Thank you.

Uh-huh, bye-bye.

Two mental health calls.

These calls are all day long. They never stop.

You know, the problem is,

is there's more calls than officers.

You know, and this is a daily thing.

So as we see a call come up for Mental Health,

we'll be able to take that call,

which will free up Patrol to continue

to answer these calls for service

that even--that haven't even been dispatched yet.

He is now feeling suicidal and homicidal.

You feel like wanting to kill yourself?

Okay, but you said homicidal too.

Yeah.

Are you having thoughts of killing him?

- Yeah. - How would you do that?

Okay. All right, buddy, come on.

So when we go in, we're gonna get you in

and see the counselor, okay?

All right.

This is that one from the state comptroller.

They did an audit, and he said that he was

gonna put a bullet in his head

and then walk in front of a bus.

He would put a bullet through the state comptroller's head?

No, through his own.

And then walk in front of a bus?

He's got it backwards.

Since Joe's the veteran, Joe will take the lead on this.

Yeah, he's got a shitload of guns in there.

I knew he was navy.

When it's a call involving a veteran, I step back.

I mean, Joe was in the marines.

He has a language I don't have.

Go in, go. Go in, go inside.

No, no, no. Oh, no.

No, no, God damn it. I don't wanna go.

I know. I know it sucks, man.

You're not the first guy that we've helped,

but you're the one we're helping now, my friend.

And when it's a call involving children,

I'll try to take the lead on that,

because Joe can struggle

seeing children that are hurting.

Your mom said that you haven't been on medications,

and you haven't been in to the crisis center, okay?

Why do I need to be in this world?

I don't have nothing.

We'll find out who's got

the quickest availability for you, okay?

All right, Ms. Raquel, let me walk you in

and introduce you to the nursing staff.

It was good meeting you, Raquel.

Good luck to you, okay?

We also will do maintenance calls

and follow-ups.

- Can we say hi to him? - Yeah.

Yeah, let us say hi.

I wanna make sure he's still doing good.

And then if he ever falls off,

you know, and stops taking medicine

and stops eating and stops bathing

and goes back to the way it was,

then you know you call us, okay, you know.

And you're never gonna be in trouble, all right?

But you know you can trust us. - Yes.

- So proud of you. - Thank you for everything.

Yes, sir. You got it, man.

You got it, okay? We'll be back.

Okay.

We'll come in and check on you

every now and again, all right?

Okay.

Just make sure you're doing good.

We have a very small unit.

We're probably doing 5% to 7%

of the actual Mental Health call load,

so it's really a fraction.

Hi, this is Officer Stevens.

Were you calling for some help?

Okay, so he is suicidal?

Does he have weapons? Does he own a gun?

We should be there in probably about ten minutes.

Everybody, hold on tight.

We'll assume he has access to a gun.

The only thing that concerned me

is her saying, "He doesn't wanna go out like no coward."

A little scary.

Oh, boy.

One side of the window, the other one take the door?

You wanna do rock-paper-scissors for door?

All right, I'll take the door.

You owe me lunch, though.

Element of surprise is gone. It went through the window.

Several dogs.

At least two dogs, and I hear a bigger one,

like a wolf.

Okay, there are several Cujos on the inside.

Patrol responding?

She's diverting them right now.

Okay.

Hey, Sarge, gotta brief you on a situation.

Boyfriend tried to cut himself on the arm.

He's been hospitalized before.

He's diagnosed with depression.

We got Patrol responding out here right now

just in case we need to do a forced entry on this.

Uh, hold on. Hold on, hold on.

Are you okay?

Hey, we're with the police.

You're not in any trouble. - Oh, man.

My name is Joe. That's my partner, Ernie.

You're not in any trouble. Sarge, let me call you back.

You're okay.

Your girlfriend called and was worried about you.

She said that maybe you cut yourself.

Let me see how bad it is, okay?

- It was just a minor thing. - Quick pat.

Okay, let me just pat you down for weapons, okay?

- Yeah, go ahead. - No weapons on you?

No, no weapons.

- 7821. - Thank you.

Do you mind sitting down and relax for a second?

Now, you showed me that--this arm, right?

- Yeah. - Can you show me the other?

Okay, that's what I'm talking about.

Yeah, now, you see it's--

Here, let me see how bad that is.

Oh, it's nothing.

That's gonna need stitches, man.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

Let me have a paramedic clean it up, okay?

What branch in the military were you in?

- I was in the marines. - Oh, okay, well, there you go.

Oorah. How many years you do?

Seven years.

Let's go down the stairs so we can see the paramedics.

Gotta take a look at your arm.

We'll know something here in just a second.

We're gonna work on getting him benefits with the VA.

He's got a class B,

but we're gonna do a jail diversion on it.

All right.

Well, I'm glad that went well.

Has anyone here,

while you're in a work capacity,

has anyone ever told someone, "I'm scared"?

Nobody? Okay.

And how many of you, when I said that,

immediately judged me and thought,

"This dude's--what's wrong with this guy?

I would never say that." Right?

"I'm told--I'm taught to be hard."

You know, "I don't get scared."

You know, "I'm United States law enforcement," right,

or whatever you told yourself.

From day one, the moment you do a traffic stop,

you walk into someone's house, everything we do is scary.

But we're taught don't show it.

Don't show fear. You don't say that.

Now, I had a female, called 911.

Set the stage up for you:

her husband's in the house sleeping.

Her kids are sleeping.

She waits till they fall asleep.

She walks outside, gets on her cell phone,

calls the police.

She's sitting in her driveway between two vehicles,

puts a gun to her head, calls 911 and says,

"I'm thinking about killing myself."

But what is it that officers heard in that call?

together: Gun. - Gun.

So what does that do?

Your adrenaline pump hits, right?

You're like, "Okay, here we go."

We start formulating a plan.

You start coming up with, like,

these amazing tactical scenarios.

You start thinking about what roof you're gonna scale,

what tree you're gonna climb.

You start, like-- people just start going wild.

And I pull up, and there was two sergeants,

about eight, nine officers, and every trunk is popped.

We're loading AR-15s, shotguns, shields.

One guy was pulling out the ram, and I'm like,

"I thought she was in her driveway."

He's like, "I don't care, man. I'm frickin' ready."

Like--they're, like...

I mean, we get so caught up

in the fact that there was a gun,

and that's--we become so fixated on that.

And we completely forget the fact

that you've got one female calling the police

on her one self wanting to kill herself.

She's not wanting to go out and ambush everyone

and that--you know, that's not what that was.

But that's how we're treating it,

because we heard "gun."

So Sarge says, "Okay, what do you think?"

And I said, "Sarge, with all due respect,

"I think that this is way too much."

Like, "What's the plan here?

"We're gonna do a skirmish down the street,

"like a formation, an echelon.

"We're gonna roll up on her with shields, flashlights,

long guns, pointing at her, screaming at her."

You guys can all picture this. What does that look like?

I'm sitting here with a gun to my head.

Now I've got eight of you screaming commands at me.

"Put the gun down. Put the gun down.

"Put the gun down. Drop the effing gun.

"Drop the gun. Put the gun down, man.

"Put the gun down. Put the gun down.

"Damn, I'm tired. Your turn.

"Put the gun down. Put the gun down.

Drop the gun. Drop the gun."

One of three things happens there.

She puts the gun down and all's okay.

She shoots herself in front of everyone and that sucks.

Or she goes to put the gun down,

but someone feels like it's flagged

and then we got a: duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh,

42 rounds on this female that wanted to ask for help.

So I said, "Let me call her. Has anyone called her at all?"

"No." "All right, let me call her."

So I call her, she answers the phone.

And I said, "You know, Brenda, you don't know me.

"My name's Joe. I'm just down the street."

I said, "Tell me what's going on."

I talked to her for a few minutes,

and then I said, "What are you doing right now?"

And she said, "I'm sitting here with a gun to my head."

And I said, "Brenda, I'm scared."

And it was like a switch went off in her head,

and she said, "What do you mean you're scared?

I'm not trying to scare you. I'm not gonna hurt anybody."

And I said, "I know that,

"but I've got a lot of officers right here.

"And they've got all kinds of, like,

"just wild equipment out that they're wanting

"to march down the street to your house,

"and I'm afraid of what's gonna happen

"and I'm scared for that.

"And I--you know, we have families.

"You've got a family in there.

Like, you holding the weapon scares me."

And she said, "What do you want me to do?"

I said, "You ain't gonna believe this,

"but we actually have a guy in a tree with binoculars,

"and he's watching you right now.

"Just stand up so he can see you with the weapon,

"put it on the hood, and walk to us.

"And I'm gonna come meet you. I'm not gonna tackle you.

"I'm just gonna come up and talk to you.

This is what I'm wearing."

And it worked out just like that.

Why?

Because I stayed calm in the moment.

I knew what I was dealing with.

I didn't think about "gun." I thought about "person."

Okay? I didn't think about "gun."

I thought about "person in crisis."

- All right, man. - All right.

I'll see you in the morning.

- All right. - I hope you sleep well.

All right.

I came along at a perfect storm,

when everything was evolving here at the police department.

I was working night patrol in uniform.

That's all I knew.

And one night,

my partner at the time, Willie Kasper,

decided to sign me up for a class

called Crisis Intervention Training.

Um, you know, we had officers with 25, 30 years on say,

"I'd rather retire than take

that 'hug a thug' type training."

Hi, sweet pea.

But it meant that for a week,

I could be at home every night and have a weekend off.

All right.

I had no idea what it was,

but one day, a lady comes in, and she talked about her son

who has a mental illness, who has schizophrenia.

He is paranoid all the time.

He punches holes in the walls. He starts fires.

And she said, "One day, one of you officers might have

"to come to my house, and there's a possibility

that you might have to shoot and kill my son."

And when I heard her say that,

that's when things really started clicking for me.

Cut it and wash it. - Yeah.

And so me and my partner at the time made it

our mission to start a Mental Health unit.

Before 2000, our default position

for mentally ill folks for law enforcement

was jail, jail, jail.

The jail was overcrowded.

The emergency rooms were overcrowded.

The local mental health authority was not doing

a very good job, and the state was looking

at taking it over completely.

And they said, "Well, what do you wanna do?"

I said, "I wanna do one thing:

"I want to keep people with mental illness

from being criminalized for their illness."

And so I connected

with the local mental health authority,

the police academy, the sheriff's office,

the hospitals.

And so we were able to say, "Let's start."

San Antonio police today announcing a new pilot program

aimed at helping people with mental illnesses

get the help they need.

Police have partnered with mental health leaders

to treat people with mental illness

as patients, not criminals.

We were told we were a six-month pilot project.

And the chief, within a year,

he instituted two more positions

within the Mental Health unit, and we grew to four officers.

And that's when I met Joe.

I was about to walk

into the back of the police station,

and I hear him call out my name.

I'm like, "Who's this new guy?"

He goes, "Hey," um, you know,

"I saw y'all are gonna have openings in your unit."

And he's like, "You know, I really wanna

come over there and interview."

I said, "Okay, well, you know, brush up on the material

that we gave you, and good luck with that."

I'm being honest, man.

And then I hear,

"Hey, did you hear about that Smarro?"

And I was like, "No, what happened?"

They go, "They asked him, 'Okay, Officer Smarro,

"'if you could say that you had a weakness,

what would that be?'"

And his response was, "Well, I'm gonna have to

get back to you on that one."

You gotta be kidding me.

So I thought, "Okay, here comes this arrogant kid,

ten years younger."

You know, here we go.

We end up becoming partners about a year later.

And I tell you what, I hit the jackpot.

I hit the lottery when he became my partner.

I work overtime on weekends on Patrol filling in.

On average, I would say I do this

about 3 1/2 weekends a month,

which doesn't make a whole lot of sense for me,

really, because it really does mess with my sleep.

And I know early on in our career,

they said don't put yourself in a situation

where you depend on working overtime.

But because I have five kids from different,

uh, you know, relationships,

if I don't work any overtime at all,

by the time my child support comes out and bills are paid,

there is very little to nothing left,

and so I do this...

You be a good boxer.

So that we can pay bills

and take the kids out and do stuff.

3-8-9-4-6.

Again, 1-7-1-3-8-9-4-6.

Uh, I got four minutes.

I gotta do it quick like I'm back in the corps.

Officer Smarro, everything good?

- I'm living the dream, Sarge. - Living the dream.

What vehicle you in?

Seven, niner, niner, zero.

All right. Got you in.

You need anything, give us a holler.

Thank you, sir.

All right, be careful out there.

In our full-time job, Mental Health, you know,

we are in plain clothes and unmarked cars

and, you know, we're out there just responding

to mental health-related calls.

This allows us to stay current and up-to-date as well

with everything going on in Patrol

and responding to actual, you know, 911 disturbances

and all the various types of calls.

This is Ernie calling me.

What's up, man?

Well, hopefully,

you got a little sleep tonight.

I did. - I got about two hours.

All right, well, hit me up on the computer

when you get there.

Okay, bye.

Ernie and I will usually work overtime shifts together,

and it's amazing that we can still tolerate each other,

because Monday through Friday, we're partnered up

inside the same vehicle all day.

And on Friday and Saturday, we don't get enough,

so we end up signing up for doing overtime together.

But I will say that Patrol definitely

gets excited when they see us show up.

A lot of the Patrol guys are like,

"Oh, good," you know,

"Any Mental Health call that comes out,

we're just gonna give it to you guys."

In fact, recently, they've sent us to two

pretty high-risk situations, where it was jumpers involved.

One of them, the individual was up on the bridge

over the ledge of I-10.

He goes, "Well, it's now or never,"

and he just pushed himself off.

You see it, and you can't unsee it.

You hear it. You can't unhear it.

And when that individual let go...

There was no scream. There was no yell.

I can't imagine what went through his head

as he let go, um...

Because we've talked to some jumpers

who have survived, and they've all said, you know,

that they were absolutely certain

about what they wanted to do,

but the moment that they let go, they wished they hadn't,

and those are the ones that survive.

And so, you know, we'll never know

what his thoughts were, but I just--I would imagine

that in that situation, you would yell

or you would scream or you would say something.

But it was just, "It's now or never,"

disappeared, silence, one, two, pah.

And it was just a loud, like, smack.

Like, it sounded like a gunshot.

And I just--I paused.

I, like, scurried up to the edge

and just could not believe what just happened.

And then I remember just kind of pacing.

I just was walking around, pacing,

and just, like, "What just happened?"

I mean, just kind of taken aback,

you know, by, um... you know...

just a couple hours of dialogue with this individual,

and then it was--just like that, it was over.

The Mental Health unit has become a passion of mine

because I've been on the other side of it.

I've been the one with my hand out saying,

"Please," you know, "Somebody help me."

I was diagnosed with PTSD.

Operation Iraqi Freedom began in March of '03.

Two, three days into the war,

we were in amtrac vehicles,

which are armored and very safe vehicles,

just pushing up into Iraq,

and we saw a firefight happening.

That was my first experience at a real firefight.

That was my first experience at what the sound of a bullet

going by your head is, the whistle it makes.

It was something that I was not prepared for.

And I remember that next morning,

we're still in our convoy

and the top opened up like a convertible

and we're standing there, just looking out,

and I would see these vehicles on the road

that were just blown up and families in 'em,

children in 'em, just--I mean, people burnt to the windows.

And I remember there was a boy.

I can--I could paint him, draw him today,

how vividly he's in my head.

And he was in the-- he was on the street,

but he was maybe four and facedown.

And I remember looking down, and he,

right when we were passing, he looks up at me.

And I was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."

And he looked up, and we just looked

right into each other's eyes, but half of his head was gone.

And I remember, like, begging for a corpsman.

You know, "Let's--we could save this boy."

You know, "Corpsman, Corpsman, Corpsman,"

like, "Hey, he's alive."

And not realizing the trauma he had suffered, right?

Probably very minimal chance of surviving that.

But just the fact that he looked up,

looked at me, and me begging for a corpsman to at least try,

and it was-- it fell on deaf ears.

It was this, "Who cares?

"He's gonna grow up and be one of them.

He--we ain't worried about that."

And I didn't realize the toll that that would take on me.

I was 18 years old,

and I remember, like, just shutting down.

Good morning.

Hey, man, click it or ticket right here.

I got it.

We've been carpooling for two years.

Yeah.

We meet at a church, which is... um,

it's a little more convenient for you, if we're honest.

- Well, you know... - It's better for you.

So... but it just makes sense

'cause we get to, you know, just catch up going in,

decompress going home,

and all the while saving some gas,

some mileage on our cars too, so it works out.

Hey, have you tried MOD Pizza yet?

I haven't been yet.

'Cause I know you're a paisan, man.

You can't stop.

- I can't help it. - You're addicted.

I almost did it last night, but I didn't do it, man.

I had a salad.

I was so proud of myself.

Oh, your ancestors are

rolling around in their grave right now.

They're very disappointed in me.

Joey, don't say no to the pie.

Hey, guys, we're gonna break you up into groups.

We're gonna do three role plays.

We understand that we're not master's levels clinicians

and we never like to Monday-morning quarterback

other officers in what they do,

but we know that not everybody is a born communicator.

In fact, we know some of you are very poor communicators,

but we also know that that's oftentimes by choice.

What kind of scenario are you looking at doing today?

Do you want me to be a depressed fireman?

Fixation on paranoia, if you could.

And your scenario is gonna be?

I'm thinking manic, but more on the side

of, like, with a psychosis, delusional.

Okay.

Antisocial, tied in with PTSD,

and I'm ready to just check out.

Hey, if you all could be in your rooms in five minutes.

Five minutes.

You got a wife calling on her husband,

concerned, and she said, "He's getting real agitated.

"He punched some holes in the wall.

I don't know what his deal is."

So knock when you're ready, and he'll come get you.

So we did get a call from your wife,

and she sounded a little worried about you.

I don't know what's going on. - Oh, my God.

I can't sleep.

She wants me to stay in the bed with her at night.

So there's a tactic

that used to be called verbal Judo.

Now we're full in on the term active listening.

Have you, sir...

Don't tell me not to tell her!

- Sir... - Be quiet!

Any time someone's hallucinating,

any time someone is delusional,

we need to try and figure out, is it medical?

Is it mental illness?

And then ensure their safety,

'cause oftentimes when they're hallucinating,

it's coupled with paranoia.

They're a little concerned about that you haven't

shown up to work.

You haven't talked to anybody.

Talk to me.

This scenario right here, is, he's becoming disconnected.

As human beings, we have to be connected, right?

If I unplug a lamp, it don't work.

If you unplug a human, he don't work.

We'd like to take you with us.

Don't tell me what to do. Don't tell me what to do.

Remember, now, don't assume just 'cause they tell you,

"I ain't going with you," that we have to go hands-on.

Because the moment we go hands-on, we're committed.

As soon as I fall asleep, they come.

I'm just--I'm gonna lean against the wall here,

'cause I'm kind of lazy, if that's all right.

Do you mind? - I don't mind.

- All right. - Do whatever you want.

- So who's "they"? - My buds.

Okay.

I grabbed the trigger,

and all eleven of 'em were turned into hamburger.

Good.

Right when you walk in, right, shake hands,

calms him down.

You ask if he wants to sit, he says "no,"

so then you go and throw yourself against a wall,

which, again, is a nonthreatening pose,

body language calms him down.

He gets amped up, he throws his hat,

you didn't move at all.

I didn't ask about weapons and stuff.

I should have done that.

That's the significance of cover, right?

By building rapport with someone,

by talking to them the right way,

if I spend a little more time with this person,

if I get them to open up to me

and I can get them to willingly go with me,

to a hospital, to a clinic, and I can make them see

that people are concerned about them,

then they're more apt to get help when they get there.

- It was a good group. - Yes, sir.

Wheels up.

I worked right over here to the right

at our local skating rink,

where I got to play the records,

and back then, yes, we had records.

It was vinyl.

You put a needle on it. It would make noise.

No?

I got nothin'.

Oh, look at this.

Oh, man, you gotta be kidding me.

Careful, just get around it.

You gonna stop? - Yeah.

You know, we really are a full service.

- What's up? - What's up, man?

Rub some luck, man. What's going on?

Did you just rub my bald head for luck?

- Yes, I did. - That is not how that works.

Good morning.

I'm gonna give you a hug, man. How you doing?

You all right?

Hi, how are you?

- How are you? - Good.

What Jonah is asked by God to do

is to humble himself for all of the world to see

and not just the people that he's writing to...

Hey, Joe, what's up?

Trouble has arrived.

Push, push.

- Take care, Officer. - All right.

I'm not your average guy that's had the average life

that can just deal with one little bump in the road.

I mean, I've dealt with bumps throughout my whole life,

and I just know what I can handle

and what I can't handle.

And I'm in a--I guess you could call it

a transition phase right now.

Um... I'm actually going through a divorce right now.

It's still pending.

I filed, I don't know, over a month ago.

I did a lot of praying about it, and, again,

I knew that it wasn't gonna be a supported decision,

but I miss the hell out of my kids.

I went from seeing them every day,

waking 'em up and having dinner with 'em

to now not.

Probably one of the most difficult things

I've had to do,

one of the absolute most unpopular things

I've ever done.

I got a pretty hurtful email from one of the pastors

from church, like, essentially telling me

that if I make this choice, that he guarantees

that my life will spiral out of control.

I'm a self-proclaimed minimalist now.

I saw some just abstract art that I liked,

and it was, like, 90 bucks online.

So I was like, "I could just buy the materials myself

and figure this out."

And so I went to Michaels.

They were having a great sale.

I've never been a sales shopper.

It felt great, and--actually, I went to Hobby Lobby

and then Michaels, which even--which,

I don't even know who I am anymore.

But just spent a couple hours just in the kitchen

with a trash bag, just painting away,

and I found it to be very therapeutic.

It was relaxing for me.

Um, as you can tell, I'm not very good,

but I don't even care.

It still made it on my wall.

This is the one I copied. I was gonna buy it.

85 bucks.

I liked blue since I was a kid.

Um, so it really has nothing to do

with this being like,

a "Back the Blue" type print.

To be clear, I do back the blue, obviously,

but it's just--it's totally separate from that.

Well, I got some homework to do.

You working on fractions?

Yeah.

When you're ready to try some college algebra,

let me know and you can--

- Yeah, I'll wait till college. - Oh, okay.

Did you do it? - Yeah.

"Six minus five is one over six."

Perfect.

I don't think you need anymore of my help.

I think you know how to do this.

Yep.

All right, go finish up the rest of them, okay?

I'll be graduating at the end of this year,

and my only regret is I didn't do it sooner.

1 Thessalonians.

And so those kinds of things are there.

Looks good. I'll get you started over here.

I was in school over 15 years ago

working on my degree.

In fact, I was almost done.

I was new on the police department,

married, new baby.

Just didn't feel like I had the time to fit it in.

I've always been, "Status quo seems to be good enough."

But what prompted me to go back, really, was Joe.

When he came to me as a partner,

he was out of the Marine Corps.

You know, his life was all over the place,

and my life was...

you know, I say, "Boring is good."

You know, I had a very boring life,

and I still do.

I love the fact that I come home from work,

I've got my family,

I've got a routine where, you know,

I spend time with my family,

I help my daughter with homework,

we have dinner, I do a workout,

I practice martial arts,

and then I read the Bible and I go to bed,

and that is my life every day.

And, you know, when Joe and I became partners,

he was going through a difficult time

with his family and he wanted to do something productive,

so he decided to get his master's degree.

And the whole time, I'm saying to myself,

"If he can do this,

"going through everything he's going through,

what is stopping me?"

In San Antonio,

two police officers are in critical condition

after a shootout.

San Antonio's Police Chief said he has no idea

why the men opened fire on his officers.

Heavenly Father, Lord, we ask that you watch over

the families of Julio Cavazos and Miguel Moreno.

It's been a very difficult last 18 hours or so,

and, Lord, we just ask that you be present for them.

Times like this are very difficult for us.

We ask that you watch us today, guide our attitudes,

watch our mouths, our minds, our thoughts.

Protect us, Lord. Watch over us.

In Jesus' name, amen.

all: Amen.

- Chief's about to speak. - Oh, Chief.

So let me start.

Two officers who were assigned from Central Patrol B shift

for vehicle burglaries,

and they happened across a vehicle

that looked like it had been broken into.

Officer Moreno got out of the car,

and the one suspect walked toward the police car,

and the other suspect immediately opened fire.

Officer Moreno went down immediately.

Officer Cavazos came around the vehicle.

He also was shot.

Officer Cavazos will survive, according to doctors' reports.

Officer Moreno is not expected to survive.

I know the docs have their peer support

and everything like that, but I would like to see

one or two of y'all at roll calls,

maybe three of y'all, and find a private area.

And if somebody wants to talk, one of y'all take 'em

back there and talk with 'em, and--and--and, you know,

just do what you y'all do, you know?

It just might be, like, they'll see our face initially,

and they'll be like, "Nah, I don't wanna talk to 'em."

And then maybe they'll just let it simmer

in their head for a little bit and say, "You know what?

Maybe I should talk to 'em."

We both worked Central, at one point,

and I worked B shift with those guys.

Can't imagine how you're feeling right now, man,

so if you need anything...

It's just, you know, we saw them yesterday, man.

It was... it's--you know, be some guys

who need to talk about it, so...

So pretty much everybody's available

if they want more people this weekend or something?

- Yes, sir. - Okay.

Let me turn on the lights on outside,

and I'm gonna try getting dressed in a second, okay?

All right.

Your eggs are in here, also your egg whites, okay?

So this will be your breakfast.

When I'm working overtime, putting on the uniform,

there's a difference that takes place.

When I'm at work in Mental Health,

people don't know I'm a police officer.

I bet you're tired, huh?

You're tired from today. I'm tired.

- Today was... - Oof.

- Today was a long day. - Yep.

It's gonna be miserable in this kind of heat right now.

Mm-hmm.

The East Side, where they've had all the shootings lately.

We're gonna meet, and it's my turn to drive.

Feels a lot tighter.

- Love you. - All right, love you.

Group hug. - Yeah.

All right, I'll see you all in the morning.

- We love you, baby. - Love you.

All right, good night.

There's my Joe.

Hi. - What's happening?

You gonna park right there?

♪ I only love my bed and my mama, I'm sorry ♪

Oh, wow.

Did you bring your lunch?

Yes.

What did you bring?

Ample snacks.

What does ample snacks consist of?

Uh, some Pringles.

I have a Red Bull.

Okay.

Twizzlers for when I need a health kick.

Oh, wow, you brought your vitamin sticks, huh?

Huh. - Um...

Where's the sandwich in all this?

That didn't get made.

Well, if we don't get stuck on a late call,

I actually have an extra breakfast

of egg whites, oatmeal, and turkey bacon,

if you get hungry and want a decent meal.

Okay, 10-4, thanks.

- All right, I got her. - Where is she at?

She's sitting on the rail here.

Are you okay?

What's wrong?

Okay, well, let us help you.

No.

We've--we've never tried.

We've never tried to help you.

Let us try.

Yeah, I hate to do it, but if she does jump off,

it's gonna be onto the eastbound lanes of 410,

so we might need to get that shut off.

My name is Ernie.

Ernie.

This is my partner, Joe.

He's one of my best friends in the world, okay?

You can trust him.

Kendra, let me ask you a question, okay?

I'm not--nobody's tasing--

No one's gonna tase you.

My question is...

Okay.

Okay, we could help you with that,

but it's hard for me to hear you.

Will you at least come over here

and let me talk to you?

I promise you, I can help you.

I promise you, I can.

You might be broken, but you're fixable.

That's not gonna fix anything.

I promise you.

Listen, I know all about schizoaffective disorders.

Okay, I'm just gonna move up where you can hear me.

What is going on with you today?

Is it voices?

Okay, tell me. Tell me.

Okay.

Okay, you're not giving me a chance.

I--I--I...

What is it that you're addicted to?

What type of drug?

Let me help you tonight. You're gonna be okay.

You're right, I don't know you.

But I'm gonna show you with my actions

that I care and that I'm here to help you.

Okay? You have my word.

Today's a bad day for you, okay?

Let's work on getting better today,

and we'll take it one day at a time.

This is all I do.

I specialize in helping people

that are in a mental health crisis.

That's my job. You're gonna be okay.

I'm not lying.

Let me help you get out of the pain that you're in, okay?

We're gonna take it one step at a time, okay?

It's very difficult for me to talk to you

while you're up there, okay?

Okay, you got me scared, okay?

I'm very scared right now.

No one's coming up behind you, I promise, okay?

You're--

I know, and you're making us very paranoid too

by sitting up there.

You're scaring us.

Are you hearing voices right now?

Okay, and what are they saying to you?

Kendra, Kendra...

Kendra, you're making us nervous up there.

No one's gonna hurt you.

I wanna ask you some things, okay?

But I can't talk to you like that.

It makes me way too nervous.

There you go. Thank you.

Thank you for trusting us.

Will you walk up to us?

We're not gonna handcuff you at all.

It's okay. You can sit down.

Nobody's gonna grab you, I promise you.

I'm gonna stand right here, okay?

That's it, so--just so you can hear me.

Hey, will you walk to us? No one's gonna handcuff you.

We're not tasing nobody.

Watch my hands. Watch my hands.

Well, I used to be a part

of every part of this process, okay?

You've already taken the first step, okay?

Okay.

That's a big step, and I appreciate it.

Thank you very much for trusting us.

Kendra, you're obviously

in a lot of pain right now, okay?

Let us help you out.

Kendra... Kendra that's not a good option for you.

Kendra, we--no, no.

Hey, focus on us, okay?

Sit down, sweetheart. Let's talk for a minute, okay?

If you had a list of priorities for help,

what would be your number one help?

Would it be--

Well, that's not an option.

No, that's not gonna happen, okay?

Okay, I promise you, we have not told you one lie.

Let me show you that you can trust us.

You know what?

You're stronger than the voices, Kendra.

You know--yes, you are.

Let's just focus on each other right now, okay?

It's just us three, okay?

We don't need to worry about anybody else.

We just need to worry about us three here, all right?

And I just want you to shake my hand,

so I can--so you can show me that you can trust me.

I'm an old man.

I can't jump up and grab you, okay?

If I shake your hand and walk away,

will you trust me?

I won't--I promise you, I'm not gonna grab you.

Shake my hand, and I'll let you go.

He's one of my best friends. He's not gonna lie to you.

Watch. I'm not gonna grab you.

I promise you. That's it.

It's good to meet you, okay? That's it.

Thank you. There you go.

Thank you.

You can trust us, Kendra.

I know you are. I know you are.

Here, sit down and let's talk.

Let's get some information, okay?

You're doing good. - Relax, relax.

There you go.

All right, okay. Where--

Okay, hold on, hold on. Let's talk about some options.

Have you been to Laurel Ridge?

Okay, have you been to San Antonio Behavioral Health?

It's a new facility.

Okay, so you've never been there.

So you haven't tried everything then.

It seems like you're out of options, but you're not.

You're not out of options. You're okay.

Let's get something to eat, something to drink,

and then we'll figure out what's a good--what's a good...

option for you, okay?

I'm gonna stand up, okay? There you go.

You're okay, sweetheart. There you go.

There you go. - I told you could trust us.

You hungry?

We told you we're keeping our word, all right?

Yes.

You just need an antianxiety

to calm yourself down a little bit.

- I took some. - Okay.

When's the last time you had one?

Okay.

So you could probably use one right now.

Okay, all right.

Looks like you've calmed down a little bit, okay?

And that's good. All right.

So let's talk about some options

of getting you some help.

Do you have any kind of funding source at all

like Medicare, Medicaid, anything?

No? Okay. - No, I didn't...

Okay, that's all right.

Have you ever been to the crisis center?

That's--oh, wow. Okay.

Well, what we can do is that when they get ready

to give you a treatment plan for discharge,

we can have them call us.

We gotta figure out a way we're gonna be able

to find you to get ahold of you.

I need to check in, make sure you're gonna be all right.

We're gonna take you to talk to a counselor.

That's not true.

You met two people tonight that do care.

Just worry--just focus on your breathing, okay?

I just called and spoke to the nurse and the doctor.

They're there waiting on you right now.

This is 5799.

Adult female to the crisis center.

601 North...

Are you getting some air back there?

They're should be some vents right above you.

Okay.

Well, when they get ready to discharge you,

I'm gonna give you my phone number,

and you call me.

All right?

And if you need a ride there or whatever you need,

you call me or Joe.

We're gonna help you.

3320 3-5-8-0-9.

When do you all graduate?

all: September 1st. - September 1st, okay.

So understand that the chief has made

Mental Health unit priority on this department,

and it'll only work if you use it, all right?

This is really the future of policing,

and I'll be honest, as a police cadet,

not that this will surprise anybody in here,

but my focus wasn't how to talk to people the right way.

I mean, teach me how to drive fast,

and teach me how to shoot my gun,

teach me how to breach a door.

And I understand that I am not popular

for standing up here in front of you guys

and telling you this,

but I also understand that the high 90s percent

of every call you make is gonna be some form

of an emotional disturbance where someone just needs you

to show up and give a shit.

Okay, guys, let me get your attention for a second.

It's my pleasure to introduce to you

Michelle Mata and Verna Lister.

These ladies have dedicated their time

to share their stories with you guys.

They're here representing NAMI,

National Alliance for Mental Illness.

Don't be afraid to ask us anything.

Please forgive me. I'm a little nervous.

Uh, you know, a room full of police officers, whew.

Usually, I'm being arrested or something.

Mental health humor.

Yes, sir?

When people hear voices,

are they thoughts, or are they, like,

somebody's talking to you?

Uh, for myself, when I hear voices,

I hear voices, and I sometimes wonder,

you know, "I hear them. Why can't you?"

Um, but those voices are real.

I had one daughter,

she could hear the neighbors ten houses down

and couldn't believe that I couldn't hear 'em.

Um... hallucinations, seeing things.

She thought she saw a man in the street

that just shot six people and called for help.

These are biological brain disorders.

For you to say, "No, you're not seeing 'em,"

you're not gonna get anywhere because they are seeing 'em.

What can we do to reassure you, as a parent?

We're there to deal with the crisis,

but what can we do to help you as well?

Education, that's what helped me.

Yes, sir?

I don't wanna use the wrong term,

but, like, when you were having "episodes" versus now,

do you remember, like, your thought processes

and everything?

To tell you the truth, when I'm in a crisis,

I don't know what's going on.

Remember that there's-- there's somebody

inside of that person that's having a crisis.

Talking to them and calming is what they need.

And I'm not saying--I'm saying you protect yourselves.

Don't get me wrong.

But I'm saying, these people normally are not violent.

Thank you so much for listening to us today.

And taking the training.

Thank you, guys.

Looks like Amanda's already here,

probably already inside.

Hello. Hey!

How are ya, sweetheart?

Good, how are you?

- You look great. - Hi.

What is up? What is up?

Well, I'm 1 1/2 months clean,

and I feel...

- Wow. - I feel clean.

I was just telling my friend on the phone, I said,

"A month ago, I was about to jump off of the bridge.

Look at me now," like...

I think you kind of motivated me to--'cause

you're like, you were scared of heights,

and I'm like, "Well, I'm scared of life,

but that doesn't mean give up."

So I was shocked.

I didn't know that the police knew about mental health.

It's hard, because, you know,

you wanna--I wanna do so much,

but I have to go slow.

- And be patient. - I have to be patient, yeah.

So you gotta set short-term goals that are achievable.

Yeah.

And then even if it's just that day

and you know where help is.

Yeah, I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna get a job."

That's my first short-term goal,

and I got that, so, like--

And it feels good, right?

What are they gonna have you do, you know?

- I'm a server. - Okay.

What are your hours gonna be?

Probably like 4:00 to 10:00,

and then maybe sometimes overnight.

So on that overnight shift,

that bar breakout crowd and the rowdy groups

that are the party lifestyle,

and it's gonna appeal or appear attractive at points,

especially if you're having a bad day, and then all...

here's the problem is,

you're on a slippery slope, right,

between doing really well and succeeding

and completely falling apart

and undoing everything you've done.

Mm-hmm.

Which is what happened that night, right?

Yeah, exactly.

The other side of that is,

look how it's been now, right?

So--so I'm concerned about you working the overnight shift,

but I think as long as, again, you've talking about it,

you're thinking about it,

then you'll be better equipped to deal with that.

- Mm-hmm. - But...

I'm confident that you're gonna do well.

Thank you.

And shut all these weirdos out at 3:00 a.m.

Say, "Hey, Kendra, you wanna go party after?

I like you. You got a pretty smile."

Go--be like, "Hell no.

I gotta go home to my dog, Joe."

All right?

'Cause that's what you're gonna name him, Little Joey.

That's what I'm gonna name him, Little Joey.

- There you go, Little Joey. - Just say, "No comment."

- Great to see you, Kendra. - Thanks for coming by.

You're welcome.

I'm proud of you.

- Bye, Ms. Kendra. - Bye.

- You know how to reach us. - Yes.

Do it before you need it, okay?

I will.

But if you need it, you can call us too then, okay?

Yes.

See ya.

That was good, man.

That made my day.

241, I've got Mental Health on the way for you.

241.

An abandoned vehicle.

They said inside the vehicle, they found a gun and ammo.

Caller states they found male

who was trying to commit suicide.

He's at the front door of Sugar's.

See what's happening here.

So he just bought that? - Yeah.

We just beat him to it.

Did he have it loaded up yet or no?

No.

Okay. Is he cooperating pretty good?

Okay.

Yeah.

Hey, what's going on, man?

Begin with today. What happened today?

So you just went today to buy that gun, bro?

I did, yeah.

Have you ever tried to kill yourself in the past?

Okay.

Where's your dad at?

Oh, that's your pop?

Your boss? How'd your boss get out here?

Did you call him?

If you shift the perspective, it's embarrassing

or that's a community of people that give a shit.

Of course you do, man.

But that's the beauty of family, though.

You're allowed to.

I could give you an hour-long class on that, brother.

I've got five kids from three women.

So I can relate, but I don't know

what your dynamics are, your family situation,

the mess that's behind all this.

I don't know, but I would venture to say

that your childhood relationships weren't perfect.

Right.

Well, I can only tell you, because, similar,

that's what I grew up with, and I have the same issues.

Yeah, it sucks,

because I've struggled with suicidal thoughts, you know,

and it's like, I see it almost weekly

out here on the job I do, where we're too late,

where people do it, and it's like, "Fuck."

I really think that help would benefit you.

And I know it might not feel like it right now,

but you've got a lot to be hopeful for,

even if it doesn't seem like it right now.

Trust me.

7821.

Does he have any medical needs at this time?

He is ambulatory, he is not intoxicated,

he is not compromised, and he is not violent.

Then were there any weapons used?

There is a firearm.

However, we are going to release it

to a family member.

8357, I'll call ahead, let them know

you're gonna be en route soon.

Okay, thank you.

The firearm is being released to the dad.

I explained to him the process.

- Yeah. - But he was good about...

wanting to keep it and putting it in a safe.

- Okay. - All right?

Next time, we gotta take it, though.

Okay.

Can I talk to you real quick?

As far as the firearm goes...

- I know. - Oh, okay.

- I'm just letting you know... - Oh.

Because if you give him access

and then something happens...

I know.

Yeah, just don't give him access.

No.

All right, we'll get him squared away tonight.

- Okay. - All right?

- I appreciate it. - Thank you, sir.

Hi, how are you? - I'm good.

Made a suicidal outcry,

going through some situational depression.

You are at an emergency detention.

You'll be here be here up to 48 hours.

He's not liking the news.

You wanna talk to him?

It's temporary. Remember, we talked about that.

This is all temporary. This isn't forever.

You're not in trouble.

It's just, we need to get you squared away, man.

You can keep the shoes but not the laces.

Oh, yeah.

The laces are a hazard, so they need to be...

Even if it's frustrating,

cooperate what they tell you to do, man.

You'll get out of here, and then I'm gonna follow up

with you in a couple of days, all right?

He's getting scared too.

How you doing?

When you have that connection,

it's so hard for me to let certain things go.

I know that I can't fix it, right?

I can't--I can hospitalize him.

That's gonna keep him safe

for a 24-, 48-, 72-hour period of time,

but it doesn't change their life.

And so it's hard sometimes to realize

that you're only maybe the first step,

which is good, um...

but I wish it could be more.

How's class?

It was good. It was good.

We had a guy last night that went and bought

a gun and bullets and was gonna kill himself,

and I told him that I really wanted

to follow up with him.

Is he in the hospital right now? So...

He might be released 'cause he's unfunded.

Is there a way to find out if he's still at Nix?

- Yep. - Yeah.

I mean, you can just call over Nix.

I'll be incredibly impressed if he's still at the Nix.

He was brought in last night around 10:00 p.m.

He's already discharged?

Wow. Okay, thank you so much.

Bye.

That's not even a 24-hour stay.

I'm gonna call him,

'cause I felt like we had a thing going.

Hey, bud, it's Joe Smarro,

the officer that met you last night

and spoke with you for a little while

before you went to the Nix.

Um... called up there to follow up.

They said you've already been discharged,

so we called the mental health authority

and got some information for you.

So if you could please call back,

I'd appreciate it,

and I'll give you a shout tomorrow or next week,

just to keep nagging you, man,

until you take my call, all right?

Quit screening me.

I'll talk to you soon, bud. All right, bye.

Men are 60 times more likely

to reattempt suicide postdischarge

and women are 102 times more likely

to reattempt postdischarge.

One of the sticking points for me in the work

that we do on this unit and the call we had last night

is exposure.

We see it on the screen: "suicide in progress,"

"suicide completion," "dead on arrival."

We see it, you know, weekly.

When you see it time and time again,

it becomes normalized, and it's not normal.

I've seen it in the Marine Corps.

A brother marine killed himself in Iraq.

And then I've seen it on the police department

with an officer who hung himself at headquarters.

We had been helping him for a year

and got him into counseling.

He was doing extensive counseling

several times a week.

He--you know, it was just--and then to--and to experience

his level of anxiety day in and day out

and the stress he was going through

and just the amount of problems

that he was undertaking on his own and...

And then to see him hanging in the police garage,

just completely still...

it's eerie, you know.

But you know his struggle's over.

There's like this exhale of... they're at peace.

Police department culture, right?

We're kind of a little subculture within society.

We're just different, right?

We have to process and deal with

a lot of traumatic stuff.

We're here to talk a little bit about

the three suicides that we've had here

in the last 16 months at work.

It's a reality of what is suicide

in law enforcement, that we kill ourselves

three to one versus dying in the line of duty.

All right? So there's a trend happening.

We need to have a lot of insight to ourselves,

and we need to be extremely honest with ourselves, too,

when it comes to what our needs are.

I'm not gonna ask you what your coping skills are.

I'm not gonna ask you to raise your hand

and everyone go around the room and tell me

"How do you deal with a bad day?

"How do you deal with it

"when your wife gets mad at you?

What's your coping skill?"

"I like to drink 30 beers."

You know, "I like to go out and shoot my gun, like,

off into the air."

Whatever it is that we do,

not all of us have, like, a lockbox at home

with a box of beautiful pens

and we get home after a bad day

and we open up and we just start journaling,

"Today was the worst day."

You guys don't do that, right?

I guarantee you guys don't do that.

But what I am asking, guys, is that you not

stare me in the face and say, "You know, Joe,

"I've always wanted to know what it would feel like

"to shoot myself in the head.

I've always wondered."

And for my entire career now,

I've taken my weapon, and I would empty it.

You know, I'd visibly and physically inspect it

to make it clear,

and I'd put it to my head and I'd pull the trigger.

Is that healthy behavior? Is that a good coping skill?

So when we're coming to you and we're talking to you

about police officer suicides,

I'm asking, I'm asking, I'm pleading with you

to step up and really look after one another.

You know, music works for some people.

Paint works for some people, writing...

and so, for me, it's just...

it's something that helps control the thoughts.

I'm someone with an unfortunate upbringing

or not ideal childhood.

I have no memories

of anything prior to, like, third grade.

Um, and when I hear kids talk about

kindergarten or first grade, I'm like,

"Wow, how do they--like,

how do they remember that stuff," you know.

And I think my brain kind of blacked out certain things.

Um, my father was deployed. He was in the navy.

And my mother had an affair,

and the guy she was having an affair with,

he--he, uh, sexually molested my sister and I.

And as a kid, you can't process something like that,

just the amount of disconnect

from, like, a loving family.

I never saw a good marriage.

I never saw a good representation

of a relationship.

I never had any idea what love was,

what, you know, commitment was.

I didn't know, and so by the time I was

a senior in high school,

I, you know, have unprotected sex,

and then you have a kid.

I was a 18-year-old father

who'd just graduated high school four days ago

and was like, "Let's go in the Marine Corps."

And it wasn't till I got out and was out for eight years

and then I'm at VA getting therapy

and I never realized why, of all the things

that I experienced in Iraq, the kids bothered me the most.

And then I get into the police department.

It's, like, the kids that bother me the most.

It was brought to my attention that, like,

the reason that's the problem for you

is because you're that kid.

I love feelings.

That's...

I say that jokingly but also honestly.

That's--every time I'm in therapy,

and I'm talking about anything,

my therapist hands me this piece of paper,

which I just wanna punch a hole in,

and it's the Feeling Wheel,

and it's just a wheel of emotions.

And I'll get, like, amped up

when I'm venting about something

or I'll get excited about something.

And she'll just hand it to me very, like, calmly,

like, "What are you feeling?"

I'm like, "Ugh, I just wanna rip this thing."

But there's value in it, because I get to use

a lot of what I've experienced and learned

and help other people.

But it's just--you've-- it's a fine line

between giving of yourself and...

allowing yourself to be got.

I haven't heard from Joe yet this morning,

but he'll--he'll text me.

- Hey. - Hey.

Where you at?

Um, I'm on 281, headed to go see--check on Kendra right now.

See if we can't-- - Checking on who?

- Kendra. - Oh, okay.

All right, baby. - All right.

Love you, sweetheart. - Love you.

- Bye-bye. - I love you, bye.

I'm not sure what room number,

so I'll have to find out.

This is the last known address I know of.

Hello.

Man, that was not what I wanted to hear.

I spoke to the management here.

They said that, uh, they had to

ask her and her boyfriend to leave about two weeks ago

because he was continually beating her.

And, um, so they had to ask 'em to leave

because it was just causing too many problems,

all the fighting that was going on here.

Said she felt sorry for Kendra,

'cause she shouldn't be getting beat like that.

So now we try to find out where she went.

I can't see.

What does that one say? That say two?

I think so.

Hey, hey, get in here.

Hi.

- Stranger. - Look at you.

Look at you.

Oh, my goodness, how you been?

- How you doing? - Great, come in.

I've been running around trying to find you.

- I know, I hear. - Yeah.

We got our own "hotel room." We tried to make it work.

It didn't.

Management told me that they had

to ask y'all to leave because the violence was

starting to get out of hand, that he was hitting you

and beating you and, uh...

So I--

I couldn't even imagine what was going on with you.

I don't know, you know, I guess, with me,

with that was, I just wanted to feel loved, you know.

And, at times, he did feel--

make me feel that way, you know.

That's why I stayed, but, you know, I packed up,

niece bring me over here.

This person's great.

I mean, I've been knowing him for five years,

and I wake up, I'm happy. I'm stress-free.

I have no worries. I'm drug-free.

Some days, I could just be overjoyed,

and I can't give you an answer why I'm so happy, but...

Okay. All right.

You know you have support, right?

You know that we're here for ya.

Mm-hmm.

We don't want Kendra on the bridge no more.

- No. - Right?

That was a rough night. - Yeah.

I think you've come a long way since then.

You've had some setbacks, okay? And that's life.

Mm-hmm.

But, you know, how you deal with it

and how you grow from that is, you know,

gonna set you up for the next time there's a crisis,

'cause they're gonna come. They're inevitable, right?

Don't hesitate to call us, you know.

I shouldn't be the one always trying to chase you.

- True. - Okay?

Yeah.

- We do it 'cause we care... - Yeah.

But understand that we're

just a phone call away, you know.

And, you know, we've always stopped what we're doing

to come and help you.

Yeah.

Is there anything that you need right now from us?

- Um... - Be honest.

No, I've been--

- Did you get food stamps? - I have my food stamps.

- Did you get Medicaid? - I have my Women's Health.

- Oh, you get Women's Health? - Yeah.

Okay, so you got all that?

Where are you at with your disability?

I'm not sure.

I'll reach out to the benefits officer

that you worked with.

Just gotta get back in touch with her, like you said.

Schedule an appointment by the end of the week.

- Joe? - Joe, words of wisdom, Joe?

I just hope that...

you follow through with everything

that's available to you

because there's a lot of good programs

that are out there.

And... just because you're in a good relationship

and just 'cause you have family and friends and support...

Mm-hmm.

And a place to go that's safe

and you're not being hit and you're not using drugs

doesn't mean that you don't still have issues

that need to be worked through, right?

And so it's important that even though

you're in a good relationship, if that's true.

- Yeah, yeah. - I hope so.

And even if you are drug-free, if that's true, and I hope so,

then you still need to make sure

you're doing your maintenance.

Yeah.

You deserve to be happy but truly.

Yeah.

You need to focus on you.

You need to follow through with what Amanda's saying.

You need--I mean, but I don't wanna tell you

all the things you have to do.

If you want us on board, we're happy to join you.

If you wanna throw us overboard,

that's an option too.

All right? - Yeah.

That's not what we want. All right.

- Thank you for coming by. - You got it.

Take care, all right? - You too.

- All right, kiddo. - It's good to see you.

Thanks for coming.

- Take care. - Yep.

- She seemed good. - She seems good.

- I don't buy it. - No?

Like you said, she's got support,

if she wants it.

She just hadn't utilized it very much in the past.

I don't think she wants it.

She wants a boyfriend that's gonna take care of her.

- That's gonna love her. - And that's that.

I think that was the most honest thing is,

she wants to be loved, which we all do.

But I think that is priority.

You know...

I don't know.

And, again, she hasn't reached out.

She tracked her down through her sister.

It's just--I think it's obvious,

but what do I know?

I only have a little bit of a lot of experience.

All right, well, first of all,

thank you for inviting us out and having us out here.

We're gonna talk to you

a little bit about mental health, okay?

Is mental health an issue in the schools?

all: Yes.

Really? A little bit or a lot?

all: A lot. - A lot.

Has anybody had that happen in their classroom,

a full-blown crisis?

- Yes. - Yes.

We had a little girl who was hiding up under the sink

because hands were coming out of the floor

and mirror to get her.

This child was actually having hallucinations.

Do you mind if we do a little demonstration?

Are y'all okay with that? all: Yeah.

You, big guy. Come on up here, big guy.

All right. I need you four right here.

All right, this is what we're gonna do.

You ready?

So when somebody is having auditory hallucinations,

all you are is another voice.

Okay, nice and loud. Y'all ready?

- Whoa. - Hello, sir.

I need you to focus on my voice.

Can you focus on my voice?

Okay, I'm here to help you. You understand?

I'm here to help you. You're not in any trouble.

- What should I do? - Okay, all right, good.

What did I say?

Focus on me, listen to my voice.

You made it more intimate, if you wish.

- Okay. - Yeah.

- And you could understand me? - Yeah.

Okay, good. We're good?

Yes.

Sarge called Ernie and I in

and explained that we're updating policy

specific to weapons that we take off

of the consumers that we're placing in the hospitals.

Essentially, what happens is,

any time encounter someone that is threatening

suicide or homicide or even if they're

mentally decompensated and they have access

to a firearm, we now take the firearm,

put it in the property room.

Then I work hand-in-hand with the county clerk

to find out, is this person gonna be committed or not.

If they get committed,

they essentially lose access to that firearm.

If they are not being committed

or trying to get the firearm released to a family member,

that person has to sign an affidavit saying,

"I will not give access of this firearm

to the person that we took into custody."

And so within the department, there's been a huge shift.

Been on the department 12 years,

been on this unit, last month was nine years.

When I came on, we didn't have Mental Health

on the computer screens.

It wasn't a call.

We have completely normalized the terms,

but I know that I'm not in the majority

of thinking that way in this profession,

but I'm hoping that is going to change,

whether that's with my help and voice

or it's a national movement or whatever it is,

at least we're starting the conversation.

Yeah, this is gonna be a big one.

It is.

I can already tell this is gonna be

bigger than last year's.

- Yep. - I can tell that for sure.

It sure is.

All right.

Good morning. Hey.

- Morning. - Good morning.

That's my son, Reed.

This walk attracts all the people from the community.

It brings in police department,

sheriff's department, the hospitals,

two different academy classes.

- What's up, dude? - How's it going?

- Hey, hey. - Told you, dude.

How you doing? Good morning.

Thank you, thank you, sir.

Hey, Sarge.

Good morning. Thank you.

- Hello. - Morning, sir.

Hey, good to see ya, man.

- Thank you, we'll see you. - All right, thank you.

I've been a policeman here for 22 years.

I was here when Mental Health didn't work.

I was here when police officers

weren't doing the right things.

Hey, Gilbert, are you gonna be at the school next month?

- Yeah. - Okay, all right.

I'm towards the end of my career.

Hopefully, Lord willing, I'm gonna maybe work

another five years, and hopefully, that's it.

But until that time, I wanna be a part of this.

I am so glad. These are a...

- Hey, how are you? - Hi.

He actually came to the house.

She was just in crisis. Yes.

We appreciate all that you're doing.

You got it.

There go the cadets. all: Yes, sir.

all: Yes, sir. Hoo-rah.

When the worlds of the police and the mentally ill

collide on the street, it's usually a bad outcome.

We can pretty much assure ourselves

that it's not gonna work out like that

because of our C.I.T. training, 40 hours,

every person on the department,

every cadet before they graduate

from the academy.

The day has come.

It's been about six weeks of preparation.

I was honored enough to be selected by TEDx

to speak at the event this year,

and, you know, because I am very comfortable

public speaking and teaching,

I really thought that this was gonna be pretty easy.

And I can tell you stepping into the theater

for the first time yesterday and going onstage

and being on the red dot that I've been watching

on, you know, the Internet and YouTube and everything

for years was very surreal.

To actually be there and to see the sign behind you and...

and I made it through the first two sentences

and completely locked up.

My brain went black,

and I had no clue what I was talking about.

Like, "What is happening?"

I was like, "I have no idea, except I am not ready."

How many people are in here?

All right, man, what ear would you prefer it on?

- Right. - Right?

I don't know what is going on with this.

I don't think it's supposed to float like that.

You ready, Joe?

I realized I was showing too much cleavage.

I was gonna say, you don't wanna show your...

okay, so what are you gonna do with your notes?

Two of these is where I was getting stuck.

Okay, just hold it in your hand,

and if you need it, reference it.

Deep breath.

Our next speaker tonight served our country

as a marine in Iraq and Afghanistan.

That deserves a round of applause.

And now "I See You."

Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Smarro.

I'm a police officer,

possibly quite different than most.

Years ago, there was a blockbuster movie, "Avatar,"

and they had this simple three-word greeting

they would use when they saw each other,

and it really resonated with me.

I see you.

I see you.

So I work in a specialized unit in law enforcement,

and all the calls we respond to

are people suffering from a mental health crisis.

But everything about how we respond to these calls

goes against what most would expect.

In fact, the only weapon I've relied on

over the last nine years has been my ability to listen

and empathize with people, to connect.

I tell them how sorry I am that I showed up uninvited.

I tell them how sorry I am

that they have to live with their difficult diagnosis.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness,

we live in a country where 20% to 25% of our adult population

has a diagnosable mental illness.

4% of those have a serious mental illness,

and less than half of these individuals

will engage in treatment at any point throughout the year.

So how do we improve?

How do we make things better?

Let's be honest.

I lied earlier when I said I am a police officer.

Law enforcement is what I do, but I am Joe,

and you are insert your name.

I'm a father,

I'm a United States Marine Corps combat veteran,

I'm a survivor of childhood physical abuse,

I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse,

and I have a mental illness.

And throughout my career,

I've learned to look at another person and say,

though perhaps not explicitly with my words,

but I see you.

That is, you don't have to hide from me,

you don't have to pretend with me,

and you certainly don't have to fear me

because I can relate to you.

I see you.

Some of the things I've shared with you

may have made some of you uncomfortable.

Honestly, good.

I choose to speak openly about my experiences

in hopes that it will inspire someone, if even one,

to take necessary risks for their own mental health.

Now, I'm fortunate to work

on a progressive police department that gets it

and provides the type of support

that I'm talking about here today.

But I don't want this idea of empathy and connection

and seeing each other

to get stuck in this small circle

of first responders or law enforcement.

What if we took the great words of Arthur Ashe when he said,

"Start where you are, use what you have,

and do what you can."

Maybe then we can all connect

and move forward in the right direction.

And, finally, let's agree to stop being so afraid.

Let's stop hiding.

I see you.

Thank you.

I know that some new numbers were just released,

but there was an increase in Mental Health calls.

Yeah, we're going to see an increase in calls.

Uh, that's just been the trend.

I go to a lot of cities

and I speak to a lot of departments

and the first thing I ask them is,

"Do you collaborate with your local mental health authority?"

And so many times, I get, "Oh, forget it.

They're impossible."

Then I said, "Then you're spinning your wheels

"because if you don't collaborate,

you're not gonna have a successful program."

Tonight we're on the streets

with one police department's mission:

to change their approach to interactions

with the mentally ill.

Hey, buddy, Beavis and Butt-Head at the same time.

Hey, man.

You're gonna break the steering wheel.

Stop it.

I'm glad you got that out of your system.

- Are you done? - You ready to go to work?

I'm amped up, man.

I am so ready to help people.