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Here they come.
Yes. We're about to find out how the magic of a carnival unfolds. Come to
Get in. We're already late. Let's get greasy.
Oh, yeah.
My name is Daniel Petronevich. I'm an actor. Never seen the Milky Way over
Lake Chichicaca.
And I've played a ton of blue -collar jobs on TV.
May the welding gods be with us. But I've always wondered.
Do I have what it takes to do it in real life?
Well, we're about to find out, because this is Blue Collar.
I love carnivals. I love it all. The sights, the sound, the delicious, greasy
food that I'm going to scoff down my gullet.
I've always wondered, how does this beautiful moving machine come together?
Which is why we're here with Albion Amusements, a family -run business for
50 years.
They're on the road for 25 weeks every summer, selling up carnivals and towns
all across the province. And they do it all in just 24 hours.
Let's see if I can keep up.
Wait a minute. We need to get the mare ground over to the far side.
Hurry up!
Hi, sorry. Hi. Looking for a lady named Carrie.
Yep, you found her. You're Carrie?
Ringmaster of the Shit Show. Nice to meet you. Ringmaster of the Shit Show.
Pleasure to meet you. What can I do for you? Okay, so first off, you're late,
but we are going to put you on the margarine. We're in a hurry. We've got
this stuff up, but we have to do it safely.
Daniel, let's get a hard hat over here. Daniel, get me a hard hat over here. I'm
helping you. All right, good job.
Daniel, you have an incredible name. My name's Daniel. Nice to meet you.
So safety is number one. Number two is the cleanliness. If you can't lick it,
it's not clean. If I can't lick it? Absolutely.
Carrie is one tough cookie, I'll tell you that.
Let's get started.
Okay, yeah. All I need is that golf cart and a six -pack of cold beers in it.
Absolutely not.
Dan seems like a nice enough guy, but I'm just worried he's not going to take
the work as seriously as he needs to.
I'll do whatever it takes to show her that I'm a full -on carny. I'm putting
this hard hat on and I'm ready to engage.
You're going to have to beg, plead, or deep throat a corn dog.
Again. So first thing we're going to do is we're going to level the trailer.
All right, put me to work.
We're going to have Dan start on the carousel, which is very important to me.
It's one of our oldest and most cherished pieces.
It'll put him through the wringer, that's for sure. There's a few hundred
pieces, and it's not going to be easy.
Where'd it go?
You want to come up here again?
Yes, sir.
I've never done one of these.
Stay it up.
Dip it out.
I see.
This miracle is not like 50 years old, but it doesn't look like a day over 49.
I don't know what I'm doing.
We can tell.
You're a greenhorn.
You know what a greenhorn is?
Yes. It's a wonderful human being with a lot of heart and soul.
Watch your hand, Dan.
This is nothing. It's easy as hell.
Hey, good job, though, buddy. Hey, good job. Fitting in, getting lots of thumbs
-ups. As many thumbs -ups as you can get is what you want.
Around here, when we actually give a thumbs -up, it means this.
So, uh... Hey, Dan!
Good job, buddy.
Good job, buddy!
Oh, looking good.
See that?
Stallion. Where does it go?
Look at that.
Hey, there am I.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fucking one -handed.
Don't drop machines there, boy.
No shit, I can't break it.
Jerry will kill me.
Got her? Yeah.
You almost broke your mother's fucking favorite thing. Come on, you piglet.
There we are.
I put the very last one in on special.
When are we bringing out the wild ponies? The horses.
Yum.
They're coming soon.
Breaking the grooms.
Now look at these things here. They're beautiful.
Hey, the carny theory fucked up. It's time to grab a horse. I want to earn
title of carny. Grab it by the hoof.
True carny. Away we go.
Master carny.
Don't drop him.
Carrie will kill him. Even if I have to grease the palms of Carrie.
I want it.
Pull it up to the little side.
Honey.
This ride's your mom's pride and joy. Absolutely.
This thing's her baby.
If we break it, we might as well just leave.
And look at their pristine.
Absolutely. Hand -painted, my friend. And what's it like working with your
family six months or whatever of the year on the road?
Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Most of the time it's good with the
family. We all work together to get her done and move to the next town. What's
the hardest part of your job?
Being away from home for six months. That is always traveling. Takes a toll
you. Yeah, of course. You don't have an at -home life, right? Well, people
appreciate it. Absolutely. Thank you.
Hey, guys. What are you doing?
Nothing. You guys wipe that down yet?
Remember, if you can't lick it, it's not clean.
Okay.
You're not working.
You know you're going to get fired.
I'm not.
I'm going to be an honorable attorney by the end of this. I'm going to show you
right now how thorough I am. Watch this.
I'm even going to wash his bum, okay? Look at that. Nobody washes his bum, do
they? The soap is gone. Go around. Go, go, go.
All the soap, right? All of it. Okay.
Daniel. Nice to meet you. I'm Jules. Nice to meet you, Jules. Good job. Thank
you.
the most powerful pool cleaner in the land. So let me show you what you're
here. You have the rod, so you're going to do like this just a little, and
you're going to rub. You want to get it shine.
You're going to hold it like this, and you're going to go like this.
Okay. Right.
So that's what you do. This is going to be good enough to dance on. No.
You know what I mean?
Okay, so you're going to go up. Okay, and it's all about the rotation, the
grip. You have to use power.
Power pool.
Going up.
Right in the top of the top.
All right.
Ball cleaning.
Travaganza. You're doing a good job. Like you have a lot of practice. I
certainly do.
Finish up. I'm going to go get Carrie for inspection.
Gotcha. We always got to get the tip, right?
Woo -hoo!
Jeez.
And the twist grip at the end.
For the happy ending.
Mission complete.
How's she looking?
I spent hours on this one.
Well, I'll be the judge of that. Let me have a look at it.
They're gleaming.
So, Dan, would you like this?
I already did.
Perfect. We're good to go.
Hey, Dan, we're not done for the day. Let's get back to work. There's more to
do. Fun wrecker.
Oh, shit.
Thanks, guys.
Hey, you boys get to work over there.
Looks like I got more work.
Eddie, this is Dan.
How's it going, Daniel? Ed.
Tell me, what are we doing here? We've got to get this Ferris wheel together.
Almost got all the rim iron on. Got to put canvas around there, build the fence
up around this thing. Have you ever done this before?
Yeah, I'd love to go on Ferris wheels. I usually try to go on with a lady and
make out with her at the top.
So you'll be useful, kind of.
Right here, dude.
Yeah, what do I do? You're going to catch it.
Got it. You got it? Now let her down.
Now you're going to take this out.
All right.
So, Austin, how long have you been working here?
I've been out here my whole life. I started on the games and then switched
the rides last year.
Ed's known me since I was about four, so I've known them all for a long time.
One big bloody family. Yeah.
Motion.
I'm ready.
Good.
A lot of sweat, spit, accidental farts, a little bit of nervousness, and just
they kind of pump out.
It's understandable.
Yep, just like that.
Like so, pins are here.
Primo.
By the time I'm done here, I will earn that carny title.
Look at this. The doc doesn't say fucking carny, folk.
I don't know what does.
That says carny. You got to do at least four seasons out here in order to get
the term carny.
Honestly, it sounds like my likelihood of being a carny is the same as me being
a doctor. I might be fucked. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I see. Thank you.
This is a ton of work that I did not expect.
And shit sakes, we're not even done half of it.
Yep.
And spin.
Spin? Yeah, I forgot about that.
Yeah, there's not very much room.
And... You're guiding the pole on.
Make sure they marry up together.
Take this bucket.
Perfect.
Thank you.
Thank you. Let me help you.
There you go. There we go.
Thumbs up to you, baby.
That's it. We're done.
What do you guys do for fun around here? Oh, we know how to have fun. You do?
Absolutely. Well, let's have fun.
Oh! You're fast and furious.
Why is mine only going backwards?
You gotta turn the wheel, Dan.
There we go. Oh, yeah, watch this.
There goes Eddie. Nothing's as fun like bumper cars.
you get a faster car than me?
Get out of here, Jules.
You're mine.
Guys,
what are you doing?
We open tomorrow.
Did we forget?
We're just testing everything to make sure it's working properly.
We're not at that point yet. The games aren't even ready to go. We're going
above and beyond, okay? Carrie, that's all we do. I don't need you going above
and beyond right now. I just need you to do the bare minimum. I will. I will.
Okay, come on. It's all about love. Okay. Great.
Go to work. Hey, where'd you guys go?
You are a buddy.
You're getting in trouble. You're getting in trouble.
So not only is Dan slacking off, he's dragging my best workers down with him.
Your mother, she's relentless.
That's why everyone calls her Scary Carrie around here. Scary Carrie.
Well, we better not get caught not working here, then.
What is this?
Well, this is the plucker duck. So we have to clean these ducks one by one.
duck you.
Know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. Did you get that?
Good job.
Ducking right.
Let's just get this shit done. We've got to open her up. No, no, no.
We've got to clean them properly.
What? Properly. We're not using that.
Yes, sir. What do I do with this?
Would you lick that?
Hell no.
Get the duck out of here.
Wint, wint.
Wint, wint.
Terry is going to love it so much that I'm going to get these ducks washed so
fast that honestly, like, this is the best way of doing this.
Look, I'm washing his little duck bum.
Rinse.
I can't take it anymore.
You know what?
Why did I do that?
I'm not cleaning you well enough, you little... All right, it's
done. And I know they would pass the lick test, but I'm not licking them,
Yeah.
We're going to straighten up the stock, and then she should be good to go. Okay.
Teddy bear is nice and neatly inside.
All you got to do is throw the ring on the chicken. Yeah.
What are you doing?
I'm choking the chick.
You won with the ring.
Is this thing rigged?
No, you just suck at it. What?
Fucking rigged. I knew it.
Now which one do I want to win?
I need that monkey.
It's a lemur.
Come to me, baby lemur monkey.
You gotta earn it.
Oh!
No one's looking.
I've been working nonstop, sweating. Look at me. Okay, listen, do you mind
jumping in here? We've got to make 1 ,000 bags of cotton candy.
1 ,000? Yes.
1 ,000 bags of cotton candy, fucking coming right up. First off, get an
Got it. Right away, ma 'am. I'm going to teach you how to make cotton candy.
Pay attention.
I always do.
I'm going to show you this once and only once, and if you can't do it, you're
out of here.
What is this?
This is sugar. How many pounds of sugar do you think you need?
Right now, we'll probably start with about 500 pounds of sugar.
500? 500, yes.
It's a dentist's dream.
Okay, like what's the process here? It's heating up the sugar in the center, and
then it thins it out. And then I'm going to twirl it.
Wow, she is so fast at this.
Then to go in the bag, you're going to twirl it in. Gotcha. Pull it off gently.
See how nice and fluffy and beautiful that is? Yes. We're going to close the
bag. So you have to do it like this.
And make sure it stays fluffy and beautiful. Say it again.
Fluffy and beautiful.
Okay. Okay.
Fluffy and beautiful. Go.
Go. More.
Fluffy and beautiful. Fluffy and beautiful. Fluffy and beautiful. Easy,
Oh, wow. Come to daddy, you sweet loving.
Yeah, we're going to nickname you Cotton Dandy.
Sounds good to me, my dear, as long as I get to be an honorable carny by the end
of this. Well, let's see if you can do better than that. Oh, that's baby.
fluffy and beautiful.
There we go.
Beautiful.
Shit.
Nailed it.
Look it.
Gorgeous.
That is lumpy and unsellable. It is not.
Oh, Dan.
Oh, Dan.
I think you have clearly no idea what you're doing. I have demonstrated that
an ample employee. Okay, tie that up.
No, you've demonstrated that you don't know how to make cotton candy. I've got
to do this. I've got to make it pop out a bit. Ready?
Yeah. Ready.
Did you just blow in that bag?
Yeah, I gotta make it puff out. Okay, that's it. You're out. Go.
No. And leave the pink apron. You don't get that. My cotton candy might be lumpy
and unsellable, but my moulet is fluffy and beautiful.
Today was exhausting.
Everything hurts. My neck, my back.
I'm here tomorrow, so I think I'm just gonna sleep here tonight.
Carnival raccoons, please be kind to my nuts.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Daniel! Cory!
Good to meet ya!
We gotta check the fence on the Sizzler, make sure it's not gonna crash into the
right. Alright, make it happen.
Let's do it. It's opening day, and everything needs to run as smoothly as a
Brazilian wax job.
Ready? Yes!
I'm just standing out here with my arm looking like a bit of an idiot, but
making sure everything is totally safe.
Whoa, Daddy!
This one's a little tighter, I think. Someone could grab that fence, right? We
need to move it out a bit.
There we are.
You wouldn't think people would do that, but you'd be amazed at what they'll do.
Safety first!
Well,
we're going to check here.
Bucket. Make sure they're not going to come undone once we start this baby up.
We got a lot of work. Yeah. We got to stop talking. That's right.
We need to do this in a timely manner.
Bro, tell us what's going on here. This is the main center gear here.
We got to grease this baby every single day.
Hey.
Yeah, that's right.
You know it.
The most important thing that we grease in the center here are the nipples.
We've got to grease all the nipples. Oh, yeah, all the nipples.
Look here.
Beauty. The grease here. Always grease the nipples.
Grease them.
Everything's almost ready. All of that for one day. It's really quite amazing.
The people here are awesome, always hard at work. The team spirit of it all, to
make this all happen for everyone, I'm actually honored to be a part of it.
Try and keep it this way a bit, guys.
All right, guys, it's showtime. Gates are open. Let's go.
Showtime.
It's opening day.
We built it, we cleaned it, we safetied it, and we inspected it. Now just let's
have some fun.
Do you even have your license?
I can't believe I even helped build this. It's sticking together.
I'm terrified.
Hold on for your lives.
Pretty bad for a ride going nowhere.
Call me Danny Danger.
Yeah, no one's really ever called me that. Forget about it.
You will be mine.
Roll him, roll him. Oh!
There it goes.
That monkey can be mine.
No!
How did you get in here?
Gary told me that you want me to take over and you need to let me work the
Oh, yes.
I believe that.
Step right up, folks. Step right up, folks. Have a wonderful time on the
wheel.
What do you think, man?
Can I operate this ride or what? Not a chance, bud. Come on.
No. No, no, no.
Why? You know, you're pressing my buttons over these buttons. Too green
bud. Too green.
I've been crying all day.
They won't let me operate one.
Maybe tomorrow.
I don't know if it's not over too long. Yeah, I know.
Overall, Dan did what I would call a mediocre job, but he really wants to
operate a ride, though I think we're going to let him operate the strawberry.
She's a crazy driver.
All righty, all herey, herey, come on, come on.
Tip right up, tip right up, tip on in. Hold on, hold on, you're not going to
hold up. Go ask your mom if you can ride.
Get in here.
I was going to pull your beard, but I love it too much. Straight up. Thank you
very much. So, congratulations.
You're officially a carny now. Welcome to the club.
Thank you.
Okay. This is legit.
I wasn't too mean, too hard on you? No, you weren't. You were great and strict,
which is what some rascals need.
I think you've matured in that. I'm a grown -up boy now. Well, that's great.
Oh, no hugs.
Okay. Entree dude. Oh, thank you.
He was the last laugh. Last bit.
Buckle up, Bertha.
She gone.
Oh, yeah.
Enjoy the ride.
Hit you on the flip side, suckers.
Juiceboxes!
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