Original subtitles

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Hey, rascal, have you forgotten me already?

Huh? Vaembu, is that you?

Of course! How are you doing?

Hmm... I'm good.

Hey, are you free now? Can you talk?

Huh... yeah.

Hey, what wrong? Why do you sound so weird?

I can't forget about you, Vaembu.

I'm so sorry. You know I was forced into this marriage.

No, no, I get it...

Hello?

Yeah... yeah.

Hey, what's wrong? You sound so lost.

You used to be so cheerful during our college days.

You didn't seem sad at my wedding.

What happened to you?

It's... I borrowed money from some gangsters.

A lot. I can't pay them back.

- The goons are pressuring me. - Huh?

- What are you saying? - Don't worry...

I'll handle it... I just don't have enough time.

- That's why... - Hey, don't scare me.

Shit! What happened?

Just come to my house.

I really want to see you!

I can't bear to hear you like this.

Just come over! I'll cheer you up.

Hey, what about your husband?

No, he's out at his acting class.

He won't be back for a while. Come over.

Hey, don't tempt me. I'll really come over...

Hey, I'm serious.

Come over and see me. You'll feel better.

Hey, I'll really come over.

Come already.

♪ Will you sing with me ♪

Now, tell me.

What is happening with you?

Like I said...

It's a money problem.

I am under pressure.

Stop thinking about that!

I did all of this to make you feel better. Shall I help you once more?

Okay.

Hey.

Come on!

You are rocking, buddy! Rocking!

Hey!

Hey!

You okay?

Hey!

Hey, Kannamma?

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, Kanna!

Kannamma?

Stop fooling around.

Please wake up. I'm begging you!

Hey?

Hey!

Hey, Vasanth!

Are you crying?

Boy, answer me!

You noticed, Dad?

Hey, why are you crying?

You know Pradeepa, right?

I am deeply in love with her, Dad.

If I ever marry, it has to be her.

I'll slap you.

Is this the age to think about marriage?

I'll beat the shit out of you.

I won't change my mind for anybody.

I will marry her or else die a virgin.

Dad,

I love her to pieces.

Okay. Does she belong to our caste?

No, Dad. They are Malayalee Hindus.

Malayalee Hindus?

There's enough time for marriage. I'll take care of it.

But she won't agree to marry me.

Why not, Vasanth? What's wrong with you?

Because Pradeepa found out

that I was cheating on her with Candy.

What an ass! Shit!

What an ass! Shit!

I should have just jerked off that night.

- Where did this dumb-ass come from? - Eh? He's your son!

Now, go make lunch, and bring it to my office on time.

- Hmm. - Hmm.

Don't watch that web series all the time.

Yes? Sebastian Arumugam here.

Hmm. Vasanth, a call for you.

Hello?

Hey, Vasanth, come over for group study.

What are you saying, Thooyavan?

My parents are going out, so we can do study as a group.

Will you tell Gaaji, Soori and Mohan?

I'll take care of it. Just shut up and come, Egg Muffin.

♪ The evening sky ♪

♪ Will cherish ♪

♪ Singing with the waves ♪

♪ Come, my king ♪

♪ Look at your princess ♪

♪ Teach me a love dance ♪

♪ The waves will say ♪

♪ That you are my beloved ♪

- ♪ The evening sky ♪ - Mohan! Wait, man!

Bro!

Got chips?

♪ The evening sky ♪

- What else? - That was quick!

- What else? - Well...

Bro, give me those chips.

What else?

Thank you. How much?

Here he comes.

At last, Egg Muffin!

Hi! You got it, guys?

You go and buy.

Why me? You go!

Hey! Thooyavan offers space, and we chip in cash.

You're the only freeloader, fucking jelly belly!

Pay up or back off!

I'll do it.

Okay!

Come on, guys.

Go, milk carton!

Sir! Sir! Bro?

What do you want?

Fuck!

- Dude, have you seen this film? - Mm-hmm.

- Killer chick! Not marrying material... - Mm-hmm.

Such a dangerous lady.

- Ask, man! - What do you want?

- She'll break you into pieces. - If anyone marries her...

Do you have the Fist of Fury movie?

Untamable love-dove she is...

I would have asked myself...

And then?

But I look so innocent.

Superbad?

- Wait, dude. - Hey, Egg Muffin!

What else you want?

Do-la you-la want-la any-la other-la films-la?

Fuck your "La" language and ask!

What is he saying?

- Madam, we are 11th grade students, - He is good for nothing, dude!

- Science students. - Hmm.

We study botany and zoology.

Okay...

You know, right? Nowadays, they teach everything in school.

Everything means, I hope you'll understand... They teach everything!

Huh?

Like, to further our knowledge, enhance our lives...

Do you have porn, madam?

Do you have Mallu Uncut?

What's the plot like, Madam?

They're all the same, honey.

- How much? - 150 Rupees.

Only this, not including the other two films.

Um, 50 Rupees.

- Hey, give me the money. - Here, dude.

- Check whether it's correct. - Count it, dude.

Hey, kid.

One can be timid,

but one can't be coy.

Got it?

Thank you, sister!

Call me "sister," and I'll skin you alive.

You're welcome.

Are you ever coming out, rascal?

There's a tornado in my tummy, Dad!

Scumbag!

Hey!

Leave the keys with the neighbor when you go to school.

I'll reserve your skinning for the evening.

Huh?

Old newspaper! Old newspaper!

Old newspaper!

♪ I'm not a poet ♪

♪ Not an artist ♪

♪ But I'm not a dummy with no trace of lust ♪

Old newspaper!

Old newspaper!

Auntie, the keys.

Leave them there.

You're such a couch potato!

I'm aware. Get lost!

Old newspaper!

♪ Darling... ♪

♪ Shall I touch you? ♪

♪ Shall I caress you? ♪

♪ Shall I embrace you And never let go? ♪

♪ If you touch me I'll be on fire ♪

♪ If there's a fire Let us burn together ♪

♪ Darling, you make my heart pound! ♪

♪ You make my eyes pop! ♪

♪ I'm the fish, you're the crane To ponder a union would be insane! ♪

♪ Don't take it slow... Go with the flow! ♪

♪ We're turning into dust... ♪

♪ So serve up some lust! ♪

Auntie, is Thooyavan at home?

He's left for school.

We'll go, too.

Come on, guys.

- Hi, dude! - Hi, dude!

Hey!

- Got it? - Duh! I took care of it.

- Keep your voice down! - Hey!

Where is "the thing?"

Dude, perhaps I should visit the loo once before we start.

Ew! go!

Don't start the movie without me.

Just put it in, dude.

Yes!

Hey,

so cool.

This film starts in the very first frame.

Dude, hold it for a sec.

When I grow up, this is the job I want!

It will be soul-satisfying.

It's a very draining job!

We are not up for that, dude.

- Play it. - Press play!

Hey, I'm almost done. Don't put it in yet!

Nobody's put anything in yet.

Just zip it and watch.

Shush! Look at them... achieving so much in silence.

Phone porn is cool, but 3D is killing it.

Soori! That's your mom.

Dude, dude, dude. Please keep it down. The neighbors might hear us.

Dude... dude. Calm down.

Calm down, man!

Hey, Soori!

Hey, Soori!

- Soori! Wait, man! - Hey! Whose mom was it?

Fuck that!

Is that important now? That fucker broke my TV.

My dad will fucking burn me alive!

Why are you yelling?

I'm not yelling, I'm screaming out of fear!

Yay! It's Dad! Jolly!

Milk, ma'am!

Mom, the milkman.

Grandma, at least wear a new saree today.

My dad's coming, right.

Zip it, Raasu Kutti. The higher you jump, the lower you fall.

Jyothi, when he comes, grab him by the collar and ask him,

"Where the fuck were you these past years?"

Mom! Please don't stir up trouble when he comes.

Jyothi!

Make yourself pretty for Manickam.

He's going to see you after so many years.

Yeah, right! As if your son ran away because she lacked beauty.

Oh no! I almost forgot!

Ow!

What's that in your hand? A new melodrama!

So much drama over a runaway dad.

Imagine what he'd do for a real father!

You were just as excited as yesterday.

Did he come?

I have zero faith.

- Ma. - Hmm?

Dad will come today, right?

Yes, Raasukutti.

Then why didn't he come yesterday?

I thought he'd come, sweetie.

- He'll definitely come today, right? - Definitely.

I have to take him to my school. No excuses, okay?

My friends keep teasing me because he didn't come yesterday.

They call me a test-tube baby!

Yeah. That's what friends do! Don't you worry about that.

So shall I take him to school as soon as he arrives?

Of course!

After all, he's coming here for you.

Take him anywhere.

He and I have the rest of our lives to talk.

Yay! Dad's here.

Raasu Kutti, has your father come?

If he were here already, why would I play you a drumroll?

He's definitely coming, kid.

- Hey, burly man! - How are you, angry man?

- I'm good. - Welcome, bro!

- Broke your arm in a fight? - Welcome, Sister-in-law!

- Jyothi. - It was only a small quarrel.

- You look hot! - Take care, man.

Girl, you're taller than your dad now.

That was so last year, Uncle.

So Manickam's been gone for six years?

No. Seven and a half years.

At last, spring is here. After seven long winters.

It's all astrological effects, I know...

Go have a bath.

What do you think, Malar?

He may have abandoned his family like Siddhartha...

but he is not coming back as Buddha!

Just wait and see,

he's going to come back with a northie wife!

Jyothi's face is going to be a sight to behold.

I swear on my coffee!

Hey!

Shall I check at the railway station?

Like a crow is going to carry him away! Go eat!

No, I'll eat with dad.

Mm-mm!

Don't stay hungry, sweetie. You can eat with him from tomorrow on.

- When is Sekar getting married? - We are looking...

He's not at all...

Sister-in-law, please have a few more idlis.

Koushik! The taxi is coming!

- Wow! - Come, everyone!

- Out of my way! - Come, everyone!

Someone give me some water to wash my hands!

Where's the washbasin when you need it?

Hey, wait up... wait up!

Who built these stairs so steep?

Fuck!

- I can't believe my eyes! - What the hell is this?

Oh, my god!

Has he gone mad or what?

Arputham! Arputham!

Arputham! Arputham!

Ramasamy, I won't pray for anyone.

My heart is clouded by doubt.

Doubt is Satan's master key.

Satan rides the chariot of doubt.

I'm losing my faith, Ramasamy.

- Faith alone is the anchor of God. - Oh, no!

Fear not. Believe. Fear not. Believe.

Don't throw my own sermons back at me.

Leave...

They're all waiting, Arputham.

Pray for them.

Come and save them.

Aren't you the right hand of God?

I won't pray for or save anyone, Ramasamy. Leave me.

About a decade ago,

there was a heartbroken man

who gave up on life,

walked into the sea to drown himself.

But as he walked in, the sea began to pull back.

He was stunned.

Suddenly, the sea reared up and returned as a monstrous wave.

He had never seen anything like it.

It was a tsunami.

The sight of the waves terrified him.

Triggering his survival instincts,

he fled.

The waves caught up to him. He went under.

At that moment, his hands grabbed something,

and he held on tightly.

The water engulfed him.

The sea strived to pull him into its depths,

but he never let go of what he was holding.

Finally, the sea grew calm.

He regained his consciousness,

and then realized that he'd been clutching...

our Tsunami God!

God wiped out the millions who wanted to live,

and spared the only one who wanted to die.

He reflected on the irony.

He then renounced his old self,

as a testament to God's miracle.

He renamed himself Arputham.

He began saving the dying and the diseased,

by pleading and doggedly requesting to God.

Eventually, he became the right hand of God.

- I bear witness. - I bear witness.

Six months ago,

I was unable to speak.

But now I can.

It's all because Arputham prayed for me.

- I bear witness. - I, too, bear witness.

Is Arputham a Christian?

Unlike what most believe, he is not a Christian!

His religion only has three elements:

his beloved Tsunami God,

the book of his hymns in praise of the Lord,

and finally, the testament to the Lord's miracle, Arputham himself.

He has not even initiated me into his religion yet.

I bear witness.

Damn, me too.

Just curious. What drove him to suicide?

Don't weigh yourself down with cleverness.

Remember, while heavy objects sink, the light ones stay afloat.

Look at him questioning the Lord's ways!

Don't over-analyze the problems...

See the way he talks!

Accept that problems are the means for God to reveal himself.

Throughout his turmoil, Arputham tightly held on to God's hand,

and God has not let go of his hand till now.

His prayers alone have saved those forsaken by doctors themselves.

- I bear witness. - I bear witness.

- I bear witness. - I do, too.

Then why isn't he saving my son now?

Tsk!

Hello?

Who's this?

Arputham! Arputham!

Open the door! Its urgent!

Arputham! There's been an accident!

I will not pray for anyone.

Its an emergency! Just take the phone!

Hello?

Dhanasekar! Your son has had an accident!

A rod has pierced his gut! He's critical!

Come fast!

Sir... Sir...

- Mugil! Sir! - Hm.

- Aren't you coming for the feast? - Yes.

Sure. Let me get Vaembu, too.

By the way, I have a small request.

Sure.

My house is overcrowded.

Can a few elders hang out at your place?

- Sure. Send them up. - Okay, sir.

My wife's family, pricey folks.

Tsk! Hmm!

So when can we see you on the big screen?

I just started my acting course. There's plenty of time for that.

Don't forget us when you make it big!

Cheers to your optimism!

Hey!

Hmm?

A sub-inspector was here earlier.

That's for the passport verification.

Isn't that too trivial for a sub-inspector to visit?

He gave me the creeps.

- And one more thing... - Yes?

Oh!

I, I don't know how to say it.

The thing is...

Come in, come in.

So sorry to impose!

Not at all. Please take your seats.

- Thank you, thank you. - Greetings!

- Greetings, son! - Get in everyone.

Wow!

Hey, don't touch that. Don't be a brat.

- Don't take their stuff. - Eh!

- Give it back! - No!

Here you are!

That uncle will not like it.

You're addicted to your iPad.

My grandson is very playful.

I can see that.

Vaembu.

These are guests of Mr. Mani.

They are in the living room.

Go say hello.

- Welcome! - Greetings!

- What will you have? - We just ate. Water will do.

It...

It may be cold.

Fuck!

It's...

It is indeed cold.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Hey! Shush!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

- What is that, "fuck"? - It's,

- it's just a word. - Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

- I get that, - Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

- But what does it mean? - Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

- It's an act of sin. - Just keep calm.

I'm asking, because Balaji keeps using it all the time,

- but he never tells me the meaning. - Just leave it, I say.

Is Balaji using this word? Let me talk to him.

Who the fuck is that?

That's what I was about to tell you.

We went to the same college.

We were in love.

Huh?

This morning, we spoke on the phone

for the first time since our marriage.

He sounded distressed.

I...

I felt guilty.

I called him over. He came.

I don't know how it started.

We did it.

He died in the process.

Huh? You...

Don't bother making coffee.

Just... half a cup?

Hey!

You should decide your own punishment.

Hmm?

I am fine with whatever you suggest.

Mom!

There's grape juice for adults inside.

For a moment, I thought you were cheap.

Mugil!

I hope there's no meat in the fridge.

Not at all.

It's a religious thing.

Huh. I understand.

Its my fault, right.

Let's call the cops. I'll surrender.

- I'll go to jail. - I'll fucking kill...

You'll be happy doing time.

I'll be the one enduring the taunts.

“He's that loser whose wife fucked around.”

I'd want to fucking rip my head off.

Forget me.

My poor parents,

they'll hang themselves in shame.

I feel like smashing your fucking head against the wall.

Okay, look.

First let's get rid of the body.

After which,

I want you to sign the divorce papers and get lost.

Okay?

I can't stand one more moment with you!

Agreed?

Hey dickhead, stop!

I can't keep up, Soori!

Stop, you dickhead!

I can't run anymore!

Stop running, Soori!

At least take off those 3D glasses!

You look so dumb!

Hey, that's not your mom.

It is her!

I saw the mole on her back.

Many women have moles on their back.

It's that unmistakable dime-sized mole!

I've massaged her shoulders so many times...

with these hands!

Hey... hey!

Dude!

- This is so revolting! - Hey, hey, buddy.

- So disgusting! - Hey, Soori!

- So nauseating! - Stop it, man.

Just stop it!

- I feel like dousing myself with petrol, - Please stop it.

And lighting myself on fire!

It's not like you can kill her for it! What's happened has happened.

- You're so right! I should kill her! - What?

When did I... I didn't say that!

Stop, dude!

Dickhead!

Did your mother shit you out at birth?

Who flashed you that you're rushing to jerk off?

Don't do that!

Hey, hey, hey! Stop!

Your tongue will lead you to an early death!

Little shit!

He broke your mirror, sweet chariot!

Stop, dude!

- I'm coming for you! - Stop running, man!

Hey, Soori! Stop!

See, he is running like a jerk!

Careful, moron!

Fucker ruined my morning!

If I get my hands on him, I'll fucking stab him!

Holy shit!

Leela!

Didn't Soori go to school today?

He went in the morning.

Why's he rushing here, then?

Maybe he forgot his uniform?

No, he was wearing it this morning.

Soori?

Didn't you go to school?

Soori!

Oh, my god! Soori!

Oh no! Oh no!

No, no, no, no!

- Meenal! - What happened?

Call the ambulance, Meenal.

Soori! Soori, what is this?

Soori? Soori?

Mohan! Go get help!

Go get help! What did you guys do?

Quick! Go!

Soori!

Sir.. Sir... Sir!

Please help!

- Get lost. No, I can't! - There's been an accident.

- He stabbed himself! - What? What are you saying?

- What a fucking day! - Please come fast.

- Please, - Come quickly.

Somebody help!

Soori!

Come fast! Grab him.

- Oh god, no. - Lift him fast.

- Lift him. - Please move quick.

Please move carefully.

He ran that fast for this?

- So young, yet such rage! - Careful, sir.

Ma'am, look at you. You are divine,

and I insulted you! No wonder he got angry!

- I yelled in a moment of anger. - Go, go, go!

- Stupid boy. - Soori!

Turn around.

Pick up the phone, moron!

- Careful! - Bring him in!

- Quick! - You sit in front!

Let's go, let's go!

Please... faster!

- Soori! - Go, go, go!

- Hand me the horn. - Get in, Meenal! Move fast!

Go quickly!

- Move, move! - Quick, please.

Soori! Soori!

Open your eyes! Open your eyes!

- Don't be scared! You'll be all right! - Honk loudly. Fast!

Open your eyes!

Water... water!

Hello, sir? Please give him the phone!

- There's been an accident! - Here, take it.

It's Meenal! Soori has had an accident!

Soori! Soori!

Baby, I'm here! You're okay, you're okay!

Nothing will happen to you!

Open your eyes! You're okay!

You fucking whore!

Hello? Dhanashekar! Your son has had an accident!

A knife has pierced his gut.

He's in critical condition! Come fast!

How much?

28,000 Rupees.

It's in great condition.

Hold it for me.

Hmm.

I swear I'll take it!

Okay, okay.

Gaaji, come on. Let's go.

Move your ass, Gaaji!

Sir, sir, sir...

- Shit! It's the cops! - It's a photocopy, sir.

Why the fuck are you speeding towards them?

Come here. Stop the vehicle.

Why not take ten more on the bike?

Sir, we're blood donors.

- There's been an accident. - That's a petty case. Not like yours.

- They are riding as triples. - Shall I fine you?

- Go, go. - Thank you, sir!

- Get going! - Thank you, sir!

- Get a faster bike. - Awesome, dude!

- Sir, sir... - Shall we go for tea?

I'll be back in a minute.

Hey! Hey, dude!

Where's he going?

To see Kavuchi.

- Idi Ameen's guy Kavuchi? - Yes, buddy.

Come on, fellas.

Hey, bro!

Dude, its too risky,

like sliding down a blade.

How else are we gonna earn 30,000 rupees?

What if he asks us to kill someone?

We will kill.

Is that really you?

I have a very bad feeling about this. Listen to me.

We're so fucked already!

Thooyavan's dad will skin us all alive!

He's a dangerous man!

Bro, is earning 30,000 rupees possible?

- Remember Alroy? - Who?

The crow.

That crow, dude!

Yeah, yes.

Bro, what happened to Alroy?

Last week he went to Idi Ameen for a job.

He was sent to burn a political party's flag.

- He did it. - Mm-hmm.

A half-hour job, and he was

given 23,500 rupees.

23 times 500 equals...

- If he had quoted a price, - Ten, eleven...

- he'd have lost a tooth. - how much is it?

One never quotes a number to Idi Ameen.

He takes it personally.

Okay, bro.

Greetings, bro!

Is sir there?

Yeah, but he's cranky.

You hear that?

Him being cranky means there's a job,

and there are no takers.

Lucky devils, you are.

Greetings, bro.

- Hmm. - Is he there?

Hmm.

Hey! Get up!

You can't sit in front of his chair! Got it? He might come anytime.

Good morning, sir.

Dude!

Up!

What's up?

They want to make a quick buck.

Sir, assess them first.

What was the last film you saw?

Hey cat-kid, you answer.

Mallu Uncut.

What film?

Mallu Uncut.

Is it an award winning film?

Just a good film, sir.

Audience's pleasure is the only award it seeks.

Are the boys capable?

Trustworthy?

I guarantee that.

You look up, Kavuchi.

Did you see the photo?

Go to Maya Plaza.

The man in the photo will be there with a cup of bad tea,

flirting with some shady woman.

Put four drops of this into his tea.

Make sure he drinks it,

then report to me. Okay?

Is this your first mission?

Kill it.

Hey, avoid direct contact with that liquid.

Yes, sir.

Comrades...

are you confident?

Yes...

- Yes! - Yes, yes.

I, too, shall take my leave, sir.

- Why the fuck did you come back? - Hey, wait.

- You left my sister! - Listen, man.

- Why didn't you stay gone? - Calm down.

- Let go of me! What are you looking at? - Take him outside.

- I'll fucking kill you! - Go shout outside.

Would you be okay if it was your sister?

What happened now?

- What happened now? - Let me go, I say.

I'll fucking kill you!

What's the ruckus all about? Ah. He brought home a new wife!

Where is he?

My treasure.

Polygamy is a common thing for us.

The girl looks slightly manly.

So what?

Take my grandmother for instance.

She was extremely hairy,

with a mustache and beard, too!

Yet my granddad was the happiest.

It's only the heart that matters.

Hey, someone throw this old man under a speeding truck!

- He's so rude. - Come, Grandpa.

- Grandpa, come quietly! - Why?

- Wisdom is so unappreciated. - I'll follow your words.

- I've always wanted to divorce him! - Come now.

I have such rich experiences to share.

I can be so helpful...

- but nobody's interested. - Okay, grandpa.

- Manickam, - They are so reckless...

Go freshen up.

- We can talk later. - Don't bother them.

Jyothi, why does life screw you over and over again?

Why does misery love you so much?

As a mother, I shouldn't say this.

Instead of waiting for him,

you could've eloped with another man.

Mom, dad wants the sari with the tassels to wear to school.

How is that?

I went to him to ask about it...

- She is a foreigner, it seems. - Damn!

Even in the early days of marriage,

he'd fake a headache every night,

like a disinterested wife.

That should have raised a red flag.

Yet Jyothi managed to produce Raasu Kutti!

That talented cow!

At first, I thought it was an April Fool's prank.

Do I look pretty?

I need to look good for Raasu Kutti's friends.

I don't know what's harder:

A past without a husband,

or a future with one like you.

As a woman, I understand your plight, Jyothi.

Dad, shall we leave?

Shall I go?

You've done enough damage.

Stay home.

Save us a shred of dignity!

- Hey Raasu Kutti, get back in! - Mom!

- You big bastard, come back! - Mom!

- Little bastard! At least you! - Mom,

let him be. At least he's happy.

Amazing!

Raasu Kutti accepted his stepmom

- instantly! - Shut up, you compost pit!

I'll throw you in the fire!

I met Meera's uncle.

He said that she's well settled now,

and her sister also got married...

- Oh, the coffee is here. - Thank you.

- Don't mention it. - Thanks.

Great coffee! Thanks!

What was I saying?

Oh yes... Meera...

She is very different now...

Did you Google it?

- Yeah. - What does it say?

Fill a plastic tub with acid,

immerse the body in it.

It will dissolve in one week!

No time for that. What else?

Fill a drum with cement mix,

immerse the body.

Wait till it hardens, and dump it in the sea!

Fuck you, Google!

We chop the body into bits, put them in separate plastic bags,

and leave them for stray dogs in different areas.

People will think someone dropped meat from the butchers.

Hey, you're the one that killed him, so you chop.

I didn't kill him.

He died by himself.

You were the reason. So you chop.

I heard you use the F-word.

Of all the words we speak,

you kids pick up the swear words.

Use that word again...

I'll cut off your wee-wee and throw it to the fucking crows!

Now go out there and keep your mouth shut.

Got it?

Hmm.

Go.

I was so scared

that I had to scare him.

You get the logic?

What happened? Nap time?

I can't do it.

Shit! Give it!

Shit! I can't either!

Do I need this shit?

This is my fucking dad's fault!

"She comes from a good family," he said. “Belongs to our caste.”

What? You chose me based on caste?

Shame on you!

You're talking about shame?

Why is it that one can be proud of his country,

his language,

but not his caste?

Everything is about labeling people. Only the names differ.

You're a patriot if you love your country. You're a patron if you love your language.

But be proud of your caste, and you're a fanatic.

Hypo-fuckin-pocrisy!

The common man discriminates in the name of caste.

A patriot discriminates in the name of nationality.

Both are equally wrong!

But no one sees that angle!

Hey!

Hey! What are you doing?

We'll stuff the body inside,

- throw it down from the balcony. - Huh? What?

Don't worry.

We'll drop it like this,

and it will bounce and fall flat.

Hey!

- Who is there? - I don't know!

Who are they, mom?

Can't we do this after they leave?

- No, because they're our alibis. - Please come and sit inside.

Can anyone see us?

Will it work?

Uh-huh.

What if it splatters?

How the fuck do I know? I don't dispose of bodies for a living.

Oh, shit!

Come, let's go!

Gather all his stuff.

I'll go make an excuse to leave.

It should be believable.

Wait! Why do I need an excuse to leave my own house?

Come, Vaembu. Fast!

Sorry, something's come up. We have to go.

No, no you can stay. Make yourself at home.

- Help yourself to our food. - Sure, thank you.

You can drop off the keys with Mr. Mani.

Aakash, they're leaving. Say bye-bye.

- Say bye. - May be our ancestors...

were technologically more advanced than us.

Humans could've managed to be this advanced,

but only with the help of aliens.

Sweetie, say bye to uncle.

Have all the aliens left earth,

or are they still here mingled with humans?

Keep watching the show to find out more!

Did you see that? Eh?

- He listens only to women. - Yes!

He takes after his dad.

Am I correct?

What is it?

Nothing.

Tell me.

I've only heard them say it in the movies,

but you did it for real.

What?

You fucked him like it was his last day.

Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Vote for one party, there are power cuts!

Vote for the other. There are still power cuts!

But we still go in herds to vote.

Mathematical formula is a single mind's creation.

Scientific inventions, life-saving drugs. All are some individual's hard work,

but what do we do as a crowd?

Burn buses. Cause riots!

Mob mentality!

- Bloody democracy feeds on mob mentality! - Why're you losing your shit?

All because of tension! What if someone sees the body?

- It's just a power cut. It will come back. - Thus predicts the virgin goddess!

Shit!

Someone's coming!

- What do we do now? - Come, come, come.

Hey, hey! Stay inside, dude!

Give me his car keys.

Pull the body out. I'll bring his car.

Careful!

- Excuse me! Come here. - Yes, sir?

- Isn't that Mugil and his wife? - Yes, sir.

- But that's not his car, right? - That I don't know, sir.

- Thanks. - Yeah.

We are buying all types of old silk sarees,

old silk dhotis, and all silk materials.

- We'll buy it even if it's damaged. -How much will you give?

Quickly! Take him to a better hospital.

- I don't know if it hit the spine. - Oh, my god!

There may be complications, and the possibility of paralysis.

- What are you saying, doctor? - Let's hope not. Don't risk it! Go now!

- How much will it cost? - I don't know. Quick, go!

I'll call the hospital and inform them. Rush now!

- Meenal, I'll be right back! - I'll tell them.

- Leela! Leela! - I'll pawn my bangles...

Hello, this is Dr. T. R. Balaji.

- What happened Meenal? - I don't know, Dhanasekar.

He was angry. He came with a screwdriver. I don't know why.

I know why! It's the same reason I wanted to kill myself!

Lift him! Let's go.

Wait, Dhanashekar! Let Leela come back!

Why should I wait for her?

She's not a mother. She's a sinner! A sinner!

What is this? Where are you taking him?

Wait, wait. We have to take him to a private hospital.

There is no greater doctor than God!

The doctor suggested immediate treatment.

I have saved many lives with God's blessings.

- Fear not. Believe in Him! - Pull Soori back! Pull!

I doubted my God. I doubted my God.

For just one day, didn't do what I was saved to do.

- And he has punished me. - Don't worry, Soori!

Forgive me, my Lord. Save my son.

What are you doing?

He's hurt in the stomach, Dhanashekar. Don't bend him!

Stop, Dhanasekar.

What are you doing? Stop, Dhanashekar!

I am not Dhanashekar! I am Arputham.

What is this?

Tsunami God's miracle slave, Arputham.

Tsunami God's insignificant servant, Arputham!

- Save my son, my Lord! - He's Leela's son too!

- Save my son... - Please take him to the hospital!

- Save him, my Lord! - We'll buy it

at any condition. We'll give today's market price.

- Meenal! - Leela!

Dhanashekar came and took Soori.

- To which hospital? - Not a hospital, to his shrine!

What am I going to do with this madman!

Fucking lunatic!

- You come inside. - even if it's damaged.

We'll buy it for today's market price.

Don't miss this golden opportunity...

- Jesus! - God, your child has come to you,

seeking your refuge.

Save him with your merciful heart!

Bless him with your healing hands.

Gaze upon him with thy compassionate eyes.

- You are the one true God, you are truth. - Jesus!

You are Heaven.

- You are Dharma. - Dhanashekar!

- You are mercy. - Dhanashekar!

- Oh Lord, please save my child. - Dhanasekhar! Give me back my son!

Please give me back my son.

He needs treatment.

Leela, your son will be cured.

Ramasamy! Give me my son!

Touch with your healing hands.

- During the tsunami that killed thousands, - We need to go to the hospital.

- God saved only one! - Open the door, Ramasamy.

- That was Arputham. - Open the door, I say.

There's nothing he cannot fix.

- Stop blabbering, Ramasamy! - He will resurrect your son.

Forgive me for doubting you, my Lord!

Open the door! I want my son alive!

Faith is the anchor!

Faith is the anchor!

- Ramasamy, open up! - Faith is the anchor!

- Six months back, I couldn't even walk. - Hey!

- But after Arputham's prayers, - Stop the bullshit, Ramasamy!

- Now I can walk. - Open the door, Ramasamy!

- I can talk beautifully, too. - Holy shit!

I'll hold your hand, you hold mine!

You do not realize the power of Arputham's simple prayers.

If there is a power greater than God,

- then that is our faith in Him. - Please, Ramasamy! I beg you.

- Believe, Leela. - Open the door, Ramasamy.

Seek forgiveness for your sins!

I have not sinned!

Meenal, did you call the councilor?

I did. He's on his way.

- As I clean him with your water, - Take me to...

- You save him with your grace - Take me to...

- God is the healer. God is the cure. - Dad, please...

- Believe in Him! - Our Arputham is...

I need to take him to the hospital! Dhanashekar, please!

Lord, save my child!

Lord, save your child!

Open the door, Ramasamy.

Your son will be cured.

- Dhanashekar! - He'll be cured now!

Open the door, Ramasamy.

Arputham will save him!

Dhanashekar!

♪ Cleanse us with your merciful rain ♪

♪ Gaze upon us with compassion ♪

♪ I seek you I await your mercy ♪

♪ I pray to you every day, my lord ♪

♪ Cleanse us with your merciful rain ♪

- ♪ Gaze upon us with compassion ♪ - Dhanasekar!

Sir, please rescue my son!

Stay calm... I'll take care of it.

Ramasamy!

Who the hell are you?

Hey! It's the councilor!

Shit! Arputham... It's the councilor!

Ramasamy, open the door!

There is no place for politics in God's palace!

If God wills it, the councilor's post will be stripped in a second!

What if it happens?

Perhaps we should give him 15 minutes to pray?

What are you saying? My son is dying!

Okay, okay. Calm down.

Damn... the camera.

Ramasamy!

Ramasamy!

Last time, the cops only broke your legs.

Next time, I'll make them sever your ankle tendons!

Open the door, rascal!

Chief!

Wait a moment.

- Boy, you go first. - Okay!

- Saeed, come. - Come fast.

- Ready, sir. Action! - Come, Meenal.

- Go, go, go! Lift the boy. - Careful...

Now you are watching...

- Sir, sir... - Soori!

- Soori! - You don't understand!

- You are unaware of God's plans! - Our chief is...

- Come to this side! - We should hold onto God!

- My son, my child! - Nobody else came to the rescue.

- God is merciful, but beware of his anger! - But our chief has come.

We can talk to God later.

- I doubted him just once. - Come, I say.

- My son is in this state because of that. - Meenal!

- God is revealing him, don't obstruct. - Dhanasekar!

Who asked you not to pray? You pray!

We'll take him to the hospital.

It is God who heals at the hospital, too!

- Man can only build a boat. - He is helping the poor...

- It is God who makes it float. - by rescuing the boy!

Look how he handled...

- You are cursed! Get out of my shrine! - You have only seen Che Guevara

and Fidel Castro on TV.

Don't you have any sense? You maniac!

Now you are seeing them in person.

- Stay away! - Do you know his only mistake?

Forgive me, my lord!

- Focus here! - He is very kind-hearted...

A true patriot would like this and share it on Facebook.

Long live fearless leader Pandian.

Savior of children, Pandian!

- That's enough! - Hail, chief!

- Long live modest leader, Pandian! - Good job!

- Long live our humble chief, Pandian! - Go, go.

Wipe off every surface you touched.

Walk away like nothing's wrong.

Vaembu... come back.

- What happened? - Come quick.

Just come.

- What happened? - I'll tell you, but first get in!

What happened?

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Every shithole in town has a surveillance camera!

We don't even know if the fucking thing works.

As if they're saints, and we are murderers!

An all-seeing eye in the sky.

All because of your horniness.

I admitted to everything.

Why bring it up again and again?

You asked for a divorce.

I agreed to that, too.

I should have chopped you into pieces for what you did.

Look...

You can't think clearly if you're angry.

If you get caught,

I won't be able to forgive myself.

Why should you suffer for what I did?

Don't hold back. Say everything you want to say.

Let the anger out.

Just... get it out.

My blood boils at the sight of you!

No matter how much I pour it out,

there's more rage in me!

It's okay.

Just say it.

Say it to whom?

This is way too shameful.

Tell your friends if you like.

It's my cross to bear.

You don't have to cover for me.

Stop talking like a fucking saint!

What you've done is unspeakable!

You want to become an actor.

Pretend you are drunk, and I'm one of your friends. Pour your heart out.

That way, you would have vented.

And the secret is still a secret.

Go ahead and vent your anger. I can take it.

It's not anger. It's anguish. You won't get it.

Get the booze.

It's water.

I know. Give it!

Buddy,

my wife just fucked another man!

You know where?

In my house!

In my bed!

She fucked him while I was in acting class.

How can she be so heartless? Huh?

Dude!

Do you remember the rumor in our college days?

That some girls ganged up and fucked the security guard to death?

I'll bet my wife was part of that gang!

You could make a movie out of her life.

You know what it would be called?

"Star Whores."

There'll be a sequel, too.

"The Empire Strikes Backside."

Mugil, are you okay now?

What the fuck do you mean, "okay?" I've just begun!

Get the fuck out of the car!

Why am I everyone's bitch?

Why is everyone trying to cum on my face?

Why am I ranting like a whore?

Fuck!

How the fuck can she do this to me?

I'm a fuckless fuck!

Fucker!

Worthless piece of shit!

My fate is shit!

My life is shit!

My future is shit!

Oh, shit!

Damn you, Dad!

Sorry, I got too drunk. I didn't know what I was saying.

Uh-huh.

Can you drive drunk?

I'm always steady.

Are you a boy or a girl now?

A girl.

Will your mustache grow back?

Why? Don't you like it?

No, it's nice. I like it. I really do.

Mm-hm.

Who changed you into a girl?

- A doctor. - You didn't fight him?

Of course not! I asked him to do it.

Why?

I always wanted to be a woman.

Dressing up. Make up. That's what I like.

Where were you all this time?

In Bombay.

What were you doing there?

Nothing.

What about money for food?

We'd visit shops, clap our hands.

We'd bless them! They'd pay us.

No way!

I swear, Raasu Kutti.

Wanna see?

Huh?

Uh. Uh.

Come here.

Oh, my! You just kicked ass!

- Will I be like you, too? - Peanuts, peanuts!

- I don't know, Raasu Kutti. - Give me a packet of peanuts.

A decade back, if someone had told me that I'd become like this,

I wouldn't have believed it myself.

Why weren't you born a woman to begin with?

Sometimes, when we put on our shoes in a hurry,

we confuse the left with the right.

Similarly, God, in a hurry, put me in a male body.

Have you been on a plane?

No, but I'd love to.

If you have a baby, will you breastfeed it?

No, I can't have babies.

- Why? - God mixed up the shoes.

God is such a jerk!

No peeking!

I'm not looking.

Don't look here! Look away!

I'm not looking, Raasukutti.

Do you use the men's loo

or the women's loo?

Ideally, the women's loo.

But we're not allowed.

- Ouch! - Oh, god!

What happened, Raasu Kutti?

My zipper is stuck.

No biggie.

Now that you are a woman, should I call you Dad or Mom?

I never thought about that. How about you call me by my Bombay name?

Fucking asshole! You disgusting, filthy scum of the earth!

Couldn't you find an adult to get off with?

Sir. No. No, he's my son!

What are you doing with it?

- He is my son, sir! - What's the kid's name?

Raasu Kutti, sir.

- What? - Raasu Kutti, sir.

You fucking, lying whore! I'll bloody kill you!

- That's his pet name. I swear it's my son! - How dare you lie!

My son! My son!

- Hey you, come here! Come! - Come, Raasukutti.

- Go! I know your tricks, you whore. - Raasukutti, come with me.

Save the poor soul in the ambulance, Jesus!

Dude. Are you busy? Can you help me find this place?

Go left, then take a right. It's next to that Rupa Auntie's shop.

Rupa Auntie? When did she become "auntie?"

She's just Rupa to us.

Such a hottie!

She used to do yoga.

The whole neighborhood followed her.

What an angel.

She turned organic.

Such an idealist.

By the way... you're most welcome.

God bless you!

Let's go.

Dude, did I make sense?

How do you know he'll drink the milk?

He looks like a classic milk-drinker.

Wow!

Holy mother! They're shades... but they make you hotter!

Once upon a time, there lived a cruel king.

He was jealous of his own child,

as he thought the queen loved the child more than him.

So he rubbed poison on the queen's nipples.

He didn't want to see the child die,

so he went hunting.

When he came back,

the minister lay dead.

Dude, what's with the bedtime story?

As in the story, what if she drinks the milk that's meant for him?

Beat it.

- Drink up! - Thanks.

Dude!

What if he only pays us 10k for a half-hour job?

Why aren't you drinking?

- Cheers! - Oh, cheers!

When you take a life, you only get paid.

When you save a life, he'll give anything!

Correct, dude!

- Hey, stop! - Hey, hey!

Sir, don't drink the milk!

The king has poisoned it!

Who?

Idi Ameen!

Serve him, too!

Eat well!

If I relied on your guarantee and gave them a real mission,

imagine what would have happened.

- Did you eat? - No, Sir.

Good. It's better for the position you're in.

Eat, you clowns.

I'm coming.

You should never refuse food.

You never know when the next meal will be.

That was my childhood in a nutshell.

Look how far I've come.

Thanks to my...

character.

Come.

Cleverness will only take you so far.

Go.

You!

Mmm.

Move it!

Uh!

Do you know where they live?

Yes!

Can you guarantee that?

By evening, buy a TV for me, too.

Okay?

Sorry guys, I'm not good with getting beat up.

Why? Are you fucking royalty?

Didn't Gaaji take it like a king?

Yes!

It was your TV that Soori broke! Why the fuck should I take it?

- Egg Muffin! - Yes?

Punching me is justified, bro.

But him? I don't get it!

What matters is the message, not the messenger.

But not on the face dude! I need my good looks.

Indeed.

Let's go, guys.

Dude, I'm a little hungry.

We need, like, two TVs by tonight.

At least pretend to care, Blubber Belly!

Let's steal, dude!

From the northies' house.

Mom used to say that he came here with only two jars of pickles.

He started pawnbroking.

Now he's rich on the interest.

It's our money, we're taking it back!

Technically, it's not theft. It's our birth right!

The GPS is changing.

The northie's house is that way. Turn back!

Don't think! Just turn around!

Get off and pull, you boulder!

Be brave, Thooyava!

In a few minutes, he'll lock up his shop and go upstairs to eat lunch.

We'll follow him.

He's just a bloody northie. Show him a knife, he'll pee his pants.

Then we take the money and leave.

Why not break into his shop after he leaves?

He always takes the money with him.

How on earth do you know all this?

Last year I had a similar plan. It fizzled out.

I'm sure it was for a girl!

Who's the babe?

- Tell me! Spill it! - Shut up, buddy.

Tell me, man!

- Hey, tell me. - Gaaji. No!

I've been wanting to get this off my chest, too.

Place it properly over my heart.

Dude! I'm in love with your sister!

- How the fuck can you do that? - Hey, hey, stop!

Why is loving a friend's sister such a big crime?

- Fuck off! You don't even have a sister! - Hey, man!

- True. You only have a brother! - Leave, man!

- Let him go! - Spare the ears,

- it's your sister's favorite. - Guys!

- Don't fight! - What did you say?

- We need to buy two TVs by tonight! - Let go of me!

How can you lust over my sister?

Lust is the mother of true love.

Hey! The northie is leaving.

Come on, dude!

I'm scared.

Just come on!

- Will it work? - Yeah!

Pretty soon, the train will hit the jeep.

It will look like an accident.

You know our lazy cops and their hasty autopsies.

We're safe.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Why hasn't the train come yet?

I'll go find out.

- No wait! I'll go. - No, I'll go.

Ew.

It's going to take two hours.

Until then, what will we do with the corpse in the back?

I'm hungry.

Me, too.

I'll go buy food.

No, I'll go. I can't be alone with this thing.

"This thing?"

Remember what you were doing with "this thing" earlier?

Pooris for you?

- No, Idli. - Okay!

I am living with her, and yet she has no idea what I'll eat.

But she accurately guesses your phone password!

Can you fucking believe this?

You come to my house,

fuck my wife,

in my bed,

and now you're happily chilling with me!

Fucking Casanova's balls of love.

Why you are like this?

You dated in college, it's fine.

But now she's fucking married!

Shouldn't you have stayed away?

Imagine this...

You come back home one evening,

and I'm fucking your wife in your bed!

How would you feel?

Whether or not you love your wife, wouldn't it still hurt?

Do you know how much it hurts?

I really liked her a lot.

Do you guys even think of consequences?

What the F...

Fucker!

You were at my wedding!

You shook my hand and said "Happy married life, Boss!"

without batting an eye!

What is it that you have, that I don't?

Let this just be between us.

What took you so long?

ATM was out of cash.

Did they give back 250 Rupees?

What?

If a check bounces, the bank charges 250 Rupees.

So, if an ATM runs out of cash, shouldn't they pay us 250?

The whole system sucks!

Run a light, and you have to pay 100 Rupees.

When a light doesn't work, shouldn't they pay us?

They won't. The fuckwads.

What's with all the angst?

I'm going to be an actor.

Maybe I'll be known as revolutionary "something" Mugil.

Then I'll enter politics.

Politics is where the real acting is.

You're pretty relaxed for a man with a dead body in the back.

At first, it freaked me out too.

But now I'm warming up to the idea.

With time, one gets comfortable with anything.

We stayed together for so long.

Why haven't we warmed up to the idea of us?

No problem, ma'am.

Don't worry.

I'll send them.

Next time you take your son out, take a normal person along.

Understood? Go.

Hmm.

Good morning, sir.

What seems to be the problem?

I had my suspicions, so I brought them in.

But then I called and inquired.

That boy is "it's" son. After all, it was just a misunderstanding.

Inquired on the phone?

Who gave the number? This one, right?

What if it was a ploy?

Is this how you do your duty?

Go and investigate in person.

Sir, please!

It would look bad if a cop visit my house the day I arrived.

Shut the fuck up!

Are you teaching me how to do my job? Be quiet!

You carry on, Head Constable.

Sir.

Look, he's changing into plain clothes for your sake.

Heart of gold, eh?

I need to discuss something important with you.

Why don't you come in?

Sir?

The shock on your face makes me wonder if I may be doing something terrible?

Wow!

You've got killer expressions!

I desperately need to talk to you, for ten minutes at least.

Eh? Eh?

Sir, have mercy.

How can you say these things when my son is right here?

Do I have to take care of everything myself?

Ekambaram, come here.

Take this boy to the tea shop.

Tell them that "respected" officer Berlin sent you.

You'll say that, right?

Yes, sir.

Tell them that officer sent you to buy tea and coconut biscuits.

Little fellow!

Tea and biscuits in that shop are delicious.

You're in for such a treat!

It's divine!

You can have two, even three at your age.

You have to enjoy it slowly.

Only then will your body absorb it.

By the way,

if this uncle speaks disrespectfully about me,

- you have to tell me. - Mm-hmm.

Run along, sweetie.

Hey!

You, too.

Have a cup of tea!

Biscuit for dad?

Huh?

I have other biscuits for your dad.

Go, go.

See?

Your first visit here, and you're getting freebies!

You lucky devil!

So, what's your name?

Manickam.

What the...

Don't ruin my desire with a man's name.

Weren't you rechristened after your rebirth as a woman?

- Shilpa. - Huh?

- Shilpa. - Mama mia!

Sexy name, pumpkin pie!

Shilpa, like Shilpa Shetty!

I watch her yoga videos ardently.

I always wanted to stay in shape,

but an honest cop's life is hectic.

So exhausting.

Sir, it's getting late for school.

I am sure you know exactly how long these things take.

It'll be over like that.

It's all in your hands.

Exhibit all your skills to me.

Eh? Treat this body like a snooker table.

Just knock my balls around!

Sir, its broad daylight...

Love transcends time and space.

My love defies all odds!

Shilpa!

Almost poetic.

You have that effect on me.

What if someone comes?

Shouldn't cops always be on guard?

Our motto claims, "The police are your friend."

Won't they be my friend?

Go, keep watch!

Sir, please!

Hmm.

Berlin!

- These are merely tears of joy. - Please, sir!

Hmm. Mmm.

Shilpa.

Shilpa.

Shilpa.

Shilpa.

Shilpa.

A cop is not always about violence.

I have so much love to give.

My heart is brimming over with sweetness.

Just watch me demonstrate.

Shilpa, Berlin!

Berlin, Shilpa!

Sherlin, Belpa!

Belpa, Sherlin!

Beautiful!

Wonderful!

Marvelous!

Sit down, dear!

Sit down.

Are you planning to sign papers?

Sit on the floor.

Why do you sit like that? Such innocence!

Innocence is always a huge turn-on.

Are you really that innocent?

Are you a "fresh piece"?

Get on your knees, buttercup.

When I am not hesitant to give,

why are you reluctant to take?

The logic beats me!

Whoa, man!

I may be shameless,

but the desire to see a respected senior officer in the act

is really going to earn you the devil's respect!

Shut the door! I'm feeling shy.

♪ Yeah, he is the rocker! ♪

♪ He is a rocker! ♪

Dad!

What happened? Did they hurt you?

Yes.

How did you retaliate?

I bit back.

Superb! Hi-five! Give me a hi-five, Dad!

Actually, we're pretty cool now.

Why were we such assholes to each other all this time?

I don't know.

Pressure, I guess.

I was killing myself trying to impress you.

In your case,

you were pressured into an arranged marriage

against your will.

But now it's different.

We know it'll be over soon.

See, I'm not perfect.

And you're not an angel, either.

See?

No pressure.

We're all always somewhere in the middle.

You know?

LHS equals RHS.

Tell me if I have any flaws. I'd like to correct them.

At least, let my next marriage work.

You're fine.

Nobody's flawless.

Just tell me.

After you shower, the bathroom floor is like a carpet of your hair.

It's kind of gross.

You chew your food loudly,

and you slurp your tea noisily.

You wear the same moth-eaten T-shirt all the time.

It's comfortable.

You snore like a beast.

You splurge on shoes and bags.

I've cut down on shopping since the marriage.

You hate my cooking.

Because you don't cook like my mom.

Why didn't you marry your mom, then?

You're always sulking.

If I ask what's wrong, you say "nothing."

But there's always something!

You could have asked again, if you were that concerned.

Only you are right. Everyone else is wrong!

I was going to say the exact same thing about you!

Why didn't you flush the toilet when my dad visited?

I thought that was you!

Oh. must have been my dad then. That's cool.

Oh, so if your dad does it, then this shit is cool?

You hang your underwear on the door.

Always in the shape of an eight!

- Oh, well. I don't wear them anymore. - Yuck!

You...

you burp too loudly!

So?

No "excuse me," no "sorry."

You're not suave.

You are not refined.

Man, you're a rockstar!

He seems suave.

Quite a catch!

No woman would want to live with you!

That's why you were single for so long!

I've had girlfriends, too.

Really?

Surprising!

How many?

- Forget it. - Tell me.

Just tell me.

We're breaking up, anyway.

Three girlfriends.

But I was the one who broke up with them.

Have you had boyfriends, besides this guy?

Yes.

Vaembu.

How many?

Hello?

People think they can simply get away with murder...

What a shame!

Give him the phone.

"Meet Mugil,

the killer!

A pro at disposing of bodies.

What has the world come to?"

Move your car off the track.

I'll see you in a bit.

He's the one who came home for passport verification,

the sub-inspector...

Berlin.

Follow me.

Please pay the advance. We need to start the procedure.

We don't know how deep the wound is.

Let's hope it hasn't hit the spine.

Let's not waste time.

Don't worry about the money, just start the procedure.

The payment counter is at the reception. Once you pay, they'll give the go signal.

Pay the advance.

I don't have the advance amount right now.

Send someone home to get it.

There's no money at home, either.

Do you have insurance?

- We can't afford insurance, doctor. - Seems uncertain.

- There will be many expenses... - Wait!

Mohan! Come here!

Won't you help your friend?

- You'll stay here, right? - He'll stay.

Keep him as collateral for two or three days, until I pay.

- Please start the surgery! - No, ma'am.

It may be too expensive for you.

- Better rush him to a government hospital. - It's too late!

There's too much traffic! All the roads are packed.

What if something happens to him before we reach a public hospital?

Why didn't you tell me earlier?

You just brought him in.

We had to examine him,

figure out the costs and all.

Don't waste another minute!

Just start now!

Move away!

- Clear the space! - Soori!

Save him, Lord!

- Soori! - Call the nurse.

- I'm here. - Rush me the reports!

- I know it hurts. Just grin and bear it. - Save him, dear Lord!

- What are you doing? - Mom will save you, for sure!

Doctor, doctor!

Go and attend the patient, quick. Who is inside?

Take these!

Please start the surgery!

- Meenal, bring Soori! - Please listen to me, ma'am.

Please start the procedure!

I don't have a problem. I can do the surgery for free!

But there are other charges, like medicine, the operating room, and...

- Medicine, medicine... - Dear Lord!

Sir, you know me!

I live above Jabbar's house! I'm sure you've seen me.

Please give him the medicine.

I swear on my life, I'll pay you back!

- Please! Please! - Madam!

- Yes, at Ward 3. Wait a minute. - Doctor!

Doctor!

I'll sell you my kidney.

I'm sure it's worth something.

When you find a tissue match, I'll donate!

I won't cheat. You are saving my son...

Madam! This is not that kind of hospital!

Look at the commotion you're causing.

Nurse, you go to the ward.

Oh god! There are so many of you here.

Can't one of you help me with the money?

If each of you will give me even 100 or 200 Rupees, I can save him!

If the situation was reversed, I would have definitely contributed

to my very last penny!

Hmm.

This is exactly what I do, too.

You are begging people.

I'm begging the Lord!

You pray for your child alone!

I would pray for anyone's child!

Come! Come and embrace my god!

Have you lost your fucking mind?

Half a century on earth, but not a bit of common sense!

Is this the time for sermons?

I wouldn't even be in this position, if it wasn't for you.

Can't you see? We need money, Dhanasekar.

Go, get money, Dhanasekar!

Meenal! Please do something!

Sorry, sorry, doctor.

I really want to help, but I don't have the authority.

Then who does?

- The chief doctor. - What's his name?

- MS Vishwanath. He is in the main block. - MSV. Where's he?

- No, go that way. He'll help. - Please start the surgery!

Dhanashekar! What are you waiting for?

Go get the money!

Meenal! Do something!

Do something!

Banzai!

Dude!

Gaaji!

Hey, Gaaji!

- Wake the hell up! - Got the money?

Yeah!

You just fucked yourself, dude!

Oh, shut up!

Hey, Egg Muffin!

Look at the lazy bastard! How irresponsible!

Wake him up, Thooyavan. It's getting late.

Wake up!

- Dude, did you get the money? - Yeah, come fast!

You just fucked yourself, dude!

Hey! I did it!

- Yes! - Wait, wait, wait!

Let's take that chair. It's so cool.

Move it, Cheeseball!

Buddy!

What's this?

It's demonetized money. Worthless!

The northie cheated us!

- These are the invalid old notes. - What the fuck?

Let's go back again.

Why?

I saw some more money in the drawer.

Then why didn't you take it in the first place?

We didn't need that much, dude.

Why, dude?

Dude! I'm scared.

We did it once, we escaped.

No way we'll get that lucky again.

It-la won't-la work-la out-la, dude.

If both of you believe that this is a bad choice,

then that's the only choice. Let's go.

Therein lies our salvation.

This is really my dad!

This thing can't be your father.

No, this is my dad! My grandma told me!

- One moment... - Keep quiet!

Even if this thing is your dad,

I can't let "it" in.

I'll get fired for sure.

If you really want "it" to get in,

get a written note from your teacher.

Then I'll let "it" in.

You wait here. I'll bring my friends.

I brought you here only for them to see you.

Please put on your sunglasses. Act cool!

Dude!

What comes before Tran-F, but after Tran-D?

Tran-E!

What's a tranny?

Keep quiet!

If a tranny were to write to you,

what would she use?

She-mail!

- Good one! - Good one!

Are they also called she-males, Dad?

Shut it!

It's very presence is provoking the children.

Ask "it" to leave!

"It" just won't leave.

It claims to be the father of a student.

Why don't you just leave?

Sir, I'm waiting for my son.

Leave now! The local sub-inspector is my friend.

He may be your friend,

but he's like my husband.

We just consummated our relationship.

What's consummated?

- Shut up and come on! - Consummation, huh?

Look at the beauty of "it"!

Why are you dragging "it" in again?

Is that really your son?

Yes, granny.

How many battles will you fight every day?

Do you think your poor boy will have a normal life?

What wrong have I done?

Don't we cut our nails?

Don't we cut our hair to suit our taste?

Similarly, I altered my body a bit.

Where's the crime in that?

It sounds reasonable,

but they threw you out.

That's the point.

Reasoning is one thing,

reality is another.

One train ticket to Bombay tomorrow.

Return ticket?

Return, madam?

No return.

I asked him to wait here. He's missing.

- Three times two is six. - Three times two is six.

- Four times two is eight. - Hey, where is he?

Test-tube baby is lying!

He doesn't have a father.

Sunil!

That's my dad! Coming out of your dad's shop.

Come on, let's see!

What are you saying, dude?

That's your dad?

Oh, yeah!

Why is he wearing a saree?

That's his style, dude.

Why are you laughing?

Have I ever laughed at your dad?

My dad looks like a dad. Your dad looks like a mom!

Why can't dads look like moms?

Guys, please wait!

My dad came all the way to see you both.

Our tutor was right about him.

He's surely a test-tube baby.

Just don't say that.

We so will.

- Test-tube baby! - Test-tube baby!

- Test-tube baby! - Test-tube baby!

- Test-tube baby! - Test-tube baby!

Bite his ear! Don't leave him!

Bite his ear!

Pull him this way!

Bite his ear!

- Punch him! - Hey, keep quiet!

Raasu Kutti, don't fight!

Hey, children! Boys!

Nonsense! What is...

What's going on here? Bloody what is...

I repeatedly told that thing to leave,

- "it" just won't leave. - Hey, get out now!

- Sir, he wanted me to meet his friends. - Go, go, go!

- No sir my son wanted me... - Go, go, go!

- To meet his friends. - Go, go, go.

- Sir, I won't come back here. - Go, go, go!

- Please just hear me out. - Go, go, go!

- Sir, just listen for a moment! - Go, go!

- For one moment! - Go, go, go!

- Go! - Sir!

- Go, go! - Sir, just once, sir.

- Go, go, go! - Just a moment, sir!

- Go means go! - Please, sir.

- Get out now. - Please consider, sir.

Go, go, go.

Go...

Sorry, sir!

- Can you hold it properly? - Yes.

Keep it and come back sooner. Don't waste time using your phone.

My mouth feels icky.

I'll get a beeda.

One sweet beeda please.

40 Rupees.

You should never try these vices.

Always listen to your mom and grandma.

When you grow up, you shouldn't chew tobacco,

you shouldn't smoke.

Never think of doing these things.

Yes, I understood. You mind your own business.

Don't complicate things...

Buy some peanuts!

Peanuts! Peanuts!

Study hard.

Get a good job.

Earn the respect of other people.

Live exactly how the world wants you to.

Don't think originally. Don't be unique.

Blend with the crowd.

Uniqueness is feared by the world.

Fear leads to hatred, and the world will not be let you be.

- Raasu Kutti! - Please, bro!

Raasu Kutti!

You can do it for sure. He'll listen to you.

Have you seen a little boy?

Raasu Kutti!

Raasu Kutti!

Have you seen a young boy in a green shirt?

Raasu Kutti!

Sir, did you see the boy who was with me?

Lost the child?

Go find him. Go, go!

Which idiot trusted you with their kid?

Raasu Kutti!

- Raasu Kutti! Raasu Kutti! Raasu Kutti! - There is a lot of work ahead!

Why are you wasting time on your phone? Move it fast!

Have you seen a child?

Wow! I can help you have a child if you like.

Awesome, dude. There's nothing wrong in asking.

One shouldn't die with an unfulfilled desire in his heart.

- Buy some flowers! - Yeah, coming!

Just 25 Rupees.

A boy in a green shirt...

Oh my Raasu Kutti!

- If you see him, keep him here. - I will. Now go search.

Where will I search for him?

Both the father and mother will be careful, but "it's" in between.

Why is she still here? Maybe she took your offer?

She wants your baby.

Told you these are my lucky sunglasses.

Raasukutti!

- Hail, Lord Ram! - Hail, Lord Ram!

Come on, little fellow.

Ekambaram!

Just drop it in a safe place.

I don't want it to get stomped on.

Shilpa!

Come, come, come.

- You're truly an artist. - Sir, sir...

- I am unable to get over you... - Sir, sir...

- My son is missing, sir! Help me find him! - Oh darn!

- I thought you came back - Sir...

- out of love for the officer. - Please, sir!

- But you came for a different reason, huh? - Sir!

Sir, it's the same kid

who came here with me this morning.

He's gone missing.

Help me find him!

Sir, please sir.

- Sure, sure. Why not? - Sir!

- File a complaint. - Sir!

- We'll find him as soon as possible. - Sir, there's no time!

He must be close by. Send some people, come along.

Take your fucking hands off me! How dare you touch me!

Don't we have procedures to follow?

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

I often lose my cool. This job is so stressful.

Sir!

Earlier, I wanted to talk to you at great length,

but I quickly became speechless.

What is this, sir?

But now,

I think I'll be fluent.

Can you just...

Huh? Once... What'd you say?

- Hey, what the fuck? - Fucking raising your voice?

I did so many things for you. Did we follow any procedure then?

- Is that blackmail? - Sir, sir!

- Are you planning to tell the press - Sir!

And the senior officers?

Sir! I just came to report my missing child.

- Why are you thrashing me? - You lose your child,

and I have to find him? You whore!

Fucking whore! Whoring cunt!

What the...

You lured me with this?

It's a forgery. Fraudster!

Fake boob!

Let go! Let go! Let go!

Let go, bald bitch!

You fucking...

You bloody!

Hold her!

Hold it! Pull her back!

- Pull her! - I am not able to hold, man!

Grab her waist. Don't be coy.

- Hey, don't! - Grab her, man!

Die!

I thought she was going to do something fuck-tacular,

and then she curses me like a hermit.

My wife, a chaste woman,

even her curses don't affect me.

This is nothing.

Will you guys have tea?

Get some tea please.

Sir...

Coconut biscuit...

Those coconut biscuits.

And you thought cops were just politicians' bitches?

That we're kissing ass all day?

I'll fucking skin you alive! Sir...

Sir.

Let me tell you...

Okay.

He and I went to the same college.

We were in love.

After my marriage, I met him for the first time today.

I don't know how it started.

We did it,

and he died during the act.

You gave him a happy ending.

Like they say in the movies.

So, you really got fucked.

Like there was no tomorrow!

Mayilvaganam, think of the devil!

That video you posted on our Little Boys group...

So sleazy! So cool!

- You could have lied. - But that's what happened!

Oh, Vaembu the virtuous!

Hey, shush!

Just hold on, sir.

Since you guys are so open,

I'll open up, too.

Sir, there's a case under your jurisdiction.

I'll have to see if it leads to your promotion.

Or my jackpot!

I'll call you back, okay?

Dickwad!

I just got promoted.

No way I'm getting another one.

Cheap bastards. Huh.

I can turn you both in,

get a cheap bronze medal for it,

and pin it on my shirt,

But I personally think that lacks character.

Let's say I don't turn you in, or the video I shot of you.

How do you plan to reciprocate my kindness?

Sir, I have 500 thousand Rupees in the bank.

Seriously?

Is this a pickpocket case?

Sir! No, sir.

If we sell our jewelry,

we can scrape together another 300 thousand.

800 thousand in all?

Dude!

Fuck money!

It's just printed paper.

It comes, it goes,

gets eaten by bugs.

My brother, there's more to life than money.

Can you think with your heart?

There must be another way...

to make this respected government officer happy.

Huh?

No! I won't do that!

Not a chance!

Dude!

She cracked it!

What a genius!

It's her I want.

Why?

Why are you crying?

What's wrong now?

You married this man,

rocked the bed with him.

What's wrong with adding one more to the list?

Does officer Berlin repulse you so much?

Bro, talk some sense into her.

Please!

I can't do this!

I just can't!

It's not like someone saw us,

and is threatening to go to the police.

Here the case is different!

He is the police!

See...

Kannamma and I were in love.

He was very upset, and I felt so guilty.

He's not a child that I can comfort with candy.

So I called him home,

he came,

and all this happened.

It doesn't mean I'm a slut who'll fuck anyone.

I understand, but...

You wanted to get a divorce for this

and now you want me to do the exact same thing!

You want me to be virtuous yet when you want to, I should be a whore?

Sir, give us a minute.

We're still talking.

Dude, why're you so quiet?

You killed someone.

You helped cover it up.

I'm just a fly on the wall. My presence won't rock the boat.

Feel free to express yourselves.

I won't judge you.

Vaembu, think about it.

At least he's giving us a way out.

With anyone else, it would be FUBAR.

Dude!

You nailed it.

When we go on long drives,

don't we use public toilets for emergencies?

Can you think of it like that?

Dude!

Sir, that's why I asked for privacy.

If it was money,

or he wanted something from me,

then I would definitely do it.

You don't know me well enough.

Don't tempt fate.

I told you I'd surrender!

Let me go to prison!

Who told you you're safe in prison?

There are jailers, wardens, cellmates,

too many people to please.

Some stories are so awful that I lose sleep at night!

Compared to that,

I'm a harmless bunny.

A box of chocolates.

I'll treat you like a queen.

Decide for yourself.

A bunch of Jokers?

Or is this rising Dark Knight?

Those ugly inmates,

or this box of chocolates?

Vaembu.

Vaembu.

Don't assume it's a simple murder case,

and that you'll be out in seven years.

There are people who spent 20 years in jail,

just for traveling without a ticket!

That's our system for you.

I could leak the story to the press,

ruin your name,

drag your names into talk shows and make sure

at least one person from each of your families

hang themselves.

When needed, Berlin can hit way below the belt with no qualms.

Vaembu, Vaembu.

Vaembu! Vaembu.

What did you say?

Whoa! My little munchkin.

Buttercup! First, we go to Mirzapet,

then we burn the body there at a friend's kiln.

Then we'll rent a cozy apartment and make it our pleasure pad.

Bro,

you sign a blank paper

and vanish from our lives forever.

Come, come! Good times ahead!

Come on! Come on!

Quick!

I've been such a big help, yet not a single "thank you."

The world is so ungrateful, dear Berlin.

Such a struggle to get small things done.

Come on! Start the car!

Follow me just like that!

You accepted me when I was drowning in the sea.

Now accept my son, who is drowning in his own blood.

The water God flows away from the mountain of arrogance,

into the depths of humility.

God flows the water over pits and mounds and levels them all.

It's just a rock, Pastor.

- Forgive me, God! Forgive me, God! - It's just a rock, Pastor.

Doubt is the weapon of evil!

Doubt is the chariot of the devil!

Doubt is the favorite child of Satan!

Oh Lord! Forgive me!

Lord! Oh Lord!

- Arputham! Arputham! - Ramasamy!

Ramasamy! Did you get the money?

Wherever I went, they chased me off, saying

"you didn't let us go to the hospital when we were sick,

but now when your son is hurt you rush to the hospital."

They even tried to beat me up, Arputham.

Did you sell your bike, Ramasamy?

That's okay, Arputham! Keep praying!

Pray for your son.

Lord! Oh Lord!

Lord! Oh Lord!

I'm just a rock, Pastor!

Lord, save my son!

I'm just a rock, Pastor!

You are truth! You are heaven!

You are mercy! You are soul!

I'm just a rock, Pastor!

Doubt is the weapon of evil!

Doubt is the chariot of the devil!

- Forgive me, Lord! - Doubt is the favorite child of Satan!

- Forgive me, Lord! - Doubt is the...

- You are truth! You are heaven! - weapon of evil!

- You are mercy and soul! - It is the chariot of the devil!

- You are life and death! - It is the favorite child of Satan!

- You are the end! - Doubt is evil's weapon!

I'm just a rock, Pastor!

- I'll hold your hand, and you hold mine! - Lord will not abandon you!

One who doubts Lord will be vanquished!

Lord saves the one who trusts!

Lord drowns the one who doubts!

Arputham!

It's time for the surgery.

Arputham!

It's getting late.

You are the past, you are the present, you are the future.

When you are beyond the clutches of time, how can death enter your shrine?

Only you have the strength to bring back a soul from the other side.

You saved me when millions died in the tsunami.

Doubt is the weapon of evil!

Doubt is the chariot of the devil!

Doubt is the favorite child of Satan!

Doubt is the weapon of evil!

Doubt is the chariot of the devil!

Doubt is...

Meenal is calling from the hospital, Arputham.

I'm scared, Ramasamy.

They are still in need of money.

But this means God is still holding on to your son's life!

Why should he hold it? Why can't he give it back to us?

Why should he suffer?

Because it is only in times of suffering that we think of God.

If God wants us to suffer so that we'll think of him,

doesn't it make him petty and dumb?

How can you say that?

Aren't you the right hand of God?

When millions died in the tsunami, God saved only you.

How can you doubt his accuracy and intent?

Ramasamy, you know what happened yesterday?

Pastor! Pastor!

Pastor! My son is missing.

What do I do?

My sins are looming over my son's life.

Pastor!

Deliver me of my sins. Show mercy.

Grant me forgiveness.

But I'm not a priest.

I'm not even a Christian.

Neither am I, but I have sinned.

Deliver me from my sins.

Save me. My son is missing.

I was plagued,

plagued with sins of my deed.

The moment I touched my son, they leeched onto him.

After committing that sin, I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep,

and I just wept for weeks.

Suddenly, thoughts of my son overwhelmed me.

I called

suddenly, came to see him.

There he was.

Such a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful boy.

All parents believe their children are wonderful and intelligent,

but my son is all those things, for real.

The very day I met him, I went and lost him.

I am such a terrible sinner!

Cry not! Where can a little kid go?

I'm sure he's already home. Go home and check.

I'm sure they'll sever his limbs, and force him to beg on the streets.

Those are just stories told to scare little children.

No, pastor!

When I was in Bombay...

I was asked to escort two children from Kalyan to the city.

I did it out of sheer desperation for a measly sum.

A month later, I saw them begging at the traffic signal,

one without an eye the other without a limb.

They were perfectly normal when I dropped them off.

Not in my wildest dreams...

I've sinned gravely. Won't I ever get cleansed?

Forgive my sins, Pastor!

Forgive me and save my son, Pastor! Save him!

I have sinned!

There cannot be a greater sin.

Even my God cannot absolve you.

How can you live with yourself?

- Your death might cleanse this world. - What am I to do, Pastor?

I did want to die, Father.

When I walked into the sea, it pulled back.

When millions died in that tsunami, I was spared.

Why was I saved, so that those children could get mutilated one day?

Or so I could lose my son like this?

You survived the tsunami?

Yes, Pastor!

Hey!

The other cops told me that your child is missing.

Come, let's go find him.

How did you survive the tsunami?

I held on to a rock.

What was in the rock?

It's just a rock, Pastor!

Where is it now?

Why does it matter? It was just a rock.

It must still be lying there.

Wasn't there God in that rock?

- It's only a rock, Ramasamy! - Arputham, no!

So you have lost faith because you were not the only "chosen one" God saved?

This is no God. There is no God.

Arputham!

Search for God through your heart, not your head.

Taking advantage of the situation,

his commander Albert fled with millions worth of diamonds, packing it cleverly.

But, midway to China, on the Indian ocean, his ship encountered a massive cyclone.

The crew, the commander, and the diamonds were lost forever.

The Republic of Congo is still searching

for the drowned ship and diamonds.

More secrets of lost treasures will be revealed after a short commercial break.

Come! Come!

Quiet, rascal!

Sorry, madam. I'll never steal at the northie's house again.

I really like them.

I only speak Tamil because I hang out with these guys.

- In fact, I ate roti for breakfast. - Hey!

You're talking, but your lips aren't moving.

Neither are yours! Nor mine! Oh my God!

Then how?

Swear words! It's because of her.

We are using neither words, nor sound.

- We're communicating with our thoughts. - How, madam?

You've changed senses into six, but there are far more in reality.

Who are you, northie madam?

Kamasutra.

Beauti...

I can't move! I'm frozen!

Can't move my feet!

I-la can't-la move-la my-la legs-la.

I'm already clueless.

Why are you thinking in gibberish? Pumpkin head!

Madam, can we please skip ESP for now and start using words?

Daddy!

Mommy!

Vasanth's sister!

I don't know if it is gentlemanly to say this in front of a lady.

I'm so scared, I'm about to pee my pants.

Besides, I don't know if you even are a lady.

What are you so scared of?

It's so beautiful.

Is there no limit to your horniness?

You're horniest of the horniest!

Aren't you really scared of me?

No.

I wanted to see how I look in your eyes.

Your eyes perceive beautifully.

You are a good soul!

Yes!

Are you an alien?

I really can't say. I was born here, but my roots are in outer space.

No way! Not a chance!

Why? You think aliens only visit America?

Can you do me a favor?

Of course! What? How?

That's my friend Kishore.

He came to me when he was younger than you.

He was a great friend.

He's dead now.

- No, we just saw him turn over in sleep. - Yes!

He died after that. Just now.

About two minutes ago.

Aren't you upset?

Death is not something to get upset over.

It's just a part of life.

I see.

I need to find myself a companion.

If you're cool with it, I'd like that to be you.

I like you very much.

- Okay! - Come closer.

Gaaji! No, no. Wait!

Dude, no!

- Listen, Gaaji! - Hey!

I have a mother,

and duties to complete.

What if I leave you later, like I'm leaving them now?

Moreover, I am in love with his sister.

- That's true love. - Man!

Dude! Don't drag my sister into an inter-species dialogue.

Trust me.

Wake up! Wake up! Quickly, Vasanth!

This is just a dream. Wake up now.

How did you do that, madam?

The same way the first cell split to become two cells.

Got it?

Of the two Gaajis, which one is ours?

Both of them.

So which one stays with you?

Keep this money for now.

If you need more, come tomorrow, or whenever.

Thanks, madam!

Dude!

If you need any help, you know who to ask.

Lucky fellow, you are.

I don't know why, but I liked you the moment I saw you.

Yes!

May you be with the force.

So, what brings you to earth?

I'll tell you.

Mugil, I just can't do this.

I may have nodded then.

But Mugil, I just can't!

Somehow get me out of this, please.

I may not have been a good wife to you,

but do not sacrifice me out of spite.

Please!

This shouldn't happen to you, Vaembu,

whether or not we stay together.

When he helps us dispose the body,

you take a video.

If he comes to you, we can say no,

because we'll have proof.

We'll tell him "leave us alone and we won't turn you in."

Mugil...

will it work?

Sure.

Just video him disposing of the body.

Hey!

The bike just won't start.

The little bird inside me has been cooing nonstop.

Something isn't falling into place.

We planned to dispose of the body first, and then get to the act, right?

I guess we should finish the act now, and dispose of the body later, okay?

It's the same thing.

Dude, turn off the engine.

Noisy fuck!

Sweetheart!

Get out of the car.

Come, baby potato!

Come, my little Persian kitten!

Don't be shy.

We'll make sure he doesn't look.

Come, come, come.

Come, baby doll.

Bro, is sir in there?

Just leave the TV and go.

We can't! But we can explain.

What?

Hey, comrades!

Bring the TV in.

Sir, if I don't take the TV home today, we are screwed.

We were totally broke this morning,

yet we managed to buy a TV.

Trust us. We'll replace yours tomorrow.

But why should I wait a whole day to watch "That 70's Show?"

Sir!

Today, you would have been getting a 48-inch TV.

Tomorrow, you'll get a 55-inch TV.

Dude!

Amazing.

Dude, will your dad be thrilled to see two televisions?

It would be disastrous!

We have to throw the old TV in a place where no one will ever find it.

My dad's a poisonous snake.

Word is that he is a karate expert.

He said so himself.

If we somehow scrape together the money,

and get Sunny Leone to Madras,

we can get the northie girl to make her into two.

And we can keep one with us.

Okay. Three copies.

We get one each. That will be fair.

One, two, three!

Dude, we've been through so much in one day.

We watch a porn film, and find a friend's mom in it.

We even went to the extent of poisoning a man.

We decide to steal, and we meet an alien!

But you know what?

What?

Beautifuck!

We haven't watched porn yet.

Can't you think out of your boxers?

Hey! It was my horniness that got you a new TV.

Better take me to a porn flick.

Mmm.

Dude, what the fuck is this?

Just park your bike and come on.

This film is layered.

It starts off by ranting about the beauty of life,

then it takes a U-turn and says

"the most important of all things in life is sex."

Like in sexcapade columns where the writer describes the sexual act in great detail,

and then ends it with a "These are all my misadventures,

don't try them in your life" note.

It's the same technique, only reversed. But a good try, nevertheless.

Gaaji, how is it that you seem to know everything?

Yes.

I already saw this film last week.

Mmm.

Go ahead.

You have to tell them. Just go ahead.

You have to face your family one way or another. Go!

Raasukutti!

Raasukutti!

Where did you go?

Did you know what kind of agony I went through?

Why did you run away? I felt so helpless.

You just vanished without a trace.

My heart broke into a million pieces, Raasu Kutti.

Did you even think of the trauma I would go through?

That's exactly what we have been suffering, asshole!

Did you think of the trauma that we had gone through?

Forgive me, Raasu Kutti!

I didn't think of you or your pain.

I never acknowledged your existence.

I didn't realize that my child would bring me to my knees with his love,

and crush me with questions.

Raasu Kutti.

When you were paying for the beeda,

I saw the ticket you bought at Sunil's dad's travel agency.

How can you think of abandoning us again?

How could you be so stone hearted?

I acted on an impulse. I wasn't thinking straight.

No, you did.

Everybody is mocking you, so you wanted to run away.

But Mom and I accept you just the way you are!

Did you think that only your life was difficult?

Be a man or be a woman,

just be with us. Damn it!

I will never leave you again, Raasu Kutti!

Never!

You'll definitely run away when I go to sleep,

just like before.

No, I won't.

Mmm. Hmm.

Hold on... one second.

I wanted to do something special when you first walked in.

I still want to.

Say "ding dong"!

Huh?

Say "ding dong"!

Ding dong.

My sugar, my little god!

What shall we do now?

Let's get ice cream and watch TV, Shilpa.

Here. Take it!

Go!

I said go!

It might seem hard at first,

but you'll get used to it.

Hey! Who am I kidding? You are a pro.

Then what's the problem?

Hold out your hands, dude.

Do it, man!

Now you put it on!

Lock it.

Put your hand through the window.

Do it!

You go, girl.

You just agreed to do this.

What's with the hesitation?

The human mind is still a monkey. It keeps shifting.

Yeah, right! Hold hands, lovers... let me get out of your way.

Dude! You put the other hand through!

Lock it, babe!

Sir!

I'll shoot you in the mouth!

Turn away!

There's no hurry. Slowly. Cool!

Dude, show me your hands.

Sweetie.

Come!

- Come, chicklet! - Mugil!

Piglet.

Sir! Sir!

Turn around, man!

You're not supposed to watch!

Turn!

You come here.

Come, dear!

Sir! Sir!

- Go over to that side. - Sir! Sir!

Sir, please! Don't do this! Sir, please!

Vaembu!

Sir! Please don't do this!

Sir, please, sir!

Sir! Sir!

- You call me with such longing. - Sir!

It looks like I need to rent a pleasure pad for you as well!

Just kidding!

Don't worry. Our first time is

happening in such a filthy place.

- Our situation is like that. - Mugil!

But I do promise, the future will be a riot.

We could even do it in the car,

but that Mugil will be staring at us...

- I am one of the shy types, you see. - Sir!

- Sir, sir! - Mugil!

- Hey! - Sir!

Pervert! Look away! Ahh.

Let's record this, shall we?

Mugil!

- Good video quality on this one. - Sir! Sir! Sir!

- Supreme clarity! - Sir! Sir, please, sir!

Sir!

- One may do it a million times. - Sir, please leave her!

- The emotion of the first time is divine! - Sir, please, sir!

- Huh? - No, sir! Stop!

Maybe you'll want to

- relive these moments. - Please, sir!

- Then you will thank me for the video. - Sir!

Sir! Sir! Sir!

- Go further back... - Sir!

- Yes, just like that. - Vaembu!

Please, sir. Sir! Sir!

Further back, pumpkin.

You might complain that your face won't be seen.

Keep going, darling.

Go, go, go.

- I don't understand why you're crying. - Sir!

- A little back, dear. - Sir!

- Mugil! Mugil! Mugil! - Sir!

- Move to the right. - Don't do this, sir!

Please, sir!

Not your right! My right!

Sir, sir, please!

- Keep going... - Sir!

Go near that bottle.

Sir!

- Mugil! - Sit. Sit.

- Sit, sweetie! - Please leave her, sir!

- Sir! - Bingo!

- Sir, sir, sir. Stop, sir! - You see,

- I beg you! Let her go! - I couldn't control...

- Please, please! No! - my love for you!

- Leave her, sir! Please! - Shut the fuck up!

- Turn away! - Please!

Noisy fucker!

Sir... sir!

You won't miss anything.

I promise I'll play it back for you!

Dude, you didn't stop that guy from doing her.

Why can't I get the same privileges?

Why the discrimination?

Sir!

Sir!

Sir! Sir!

With so many billions living on earth,

lives are bound to crisscross.

One's action is bound to affect another.

But that is mere coincidence.

Get the phone.

It was coincidence when

lightning struck the primordial soup,

and the first life on earth came into being.

Later, life evolved to a stage where it is created through the act of sex,

which is what we are about to see.

But before that, I wish to tell you a few things.

Life is not unique to earth.

It is bound to exist in many parts of this fathomless universe.

In an atom, the distance between the electrons and its nucleus

is proportionate to that of a planet and its star.

A molecule can be a galaxy unto itself.

When an electron goes around the nucleus, that becomes its own year.

The entire universe operates on a similar pattern.

Understanding patterns, reasoning, and rationalizing

moved humans to the next level in evolution.

With one body, police might investigate their way to us.

Now, there are two bodies.

They'll only look to connect those two bodies.

They will never reach us.

Put half of this note in the cop's pocket,

and the other in the wallet of your lover.

It's human nature to connect two parts of a piece and make sense of it.

Vaembu! Don't forget your bag!

But when we started connecting unrelated events,

and concocted meanings,

beliefs and religions were born.

The doctor I believed in waived off all the bills.

But the God you believed in has showered you with diamonds.

You must be elated.

I don't understand.

I begged God for help,

but he did nothing.

Then I denounced God and broke the statue.

Diamonds poured out.

I got the diamonds only after I denounced Him.

So should I conclude that he doesn't exist?

But then again, the diamonds came from inside God's statue.

Does that mean God exists after all?

Dhanashekar!

You held on to a statue of Jesus during the tsunami and became a Christian.

What would you have become had you held on to a teddy bear?

The ocean, the sun, the sky, the stars...

you are aware of them all, only because you exist.

To you, they came into existence only after you were born.

They will cease to exist after you are dead.

In a way, this colossal universe exists only for you.

Observing what?

Seeing how long it takes...

for you people to realize.

Realize what?

That everything is just one.

- Man and woman. - Mm-hmm.

Soil and stone.

Dog and cat.

Even you and me.

You know, every cell in your body behaves like it's an individual,

but those cells put together make you one individual.

Similarly, all of us are tiny bits of the one.

I am sure you're saying all this to get into my pants.

In a world where so much good exists,

why does evil co-exist?

It's because they are one and the same.

For instance, if I tell you that it is night time now,

it is true for half the world, and a lie for the other half.

That shows how even the truth is limited.

What is considered taboo today, will be accepted tomorrow.

That is the way of the world!

What?

Tell me.

I was thinking.

A man did it with you this morning, and he died.

Another merely thought of doing it with you, and he died too!

I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole in a million years.

Soori, you saw me in that film?

It's not a big crime.

Like a doctor or a driver, it's just another job.

I once wanted to be a film actor, and I starred in that film.

Did anyone promise to make you a star, and con you into acting in that film?

No! I knew what I was doing.

If there are millions of audiences who watch films like that,

then obviously, there will have to be at least a few actors.

The world is okay with the people who watch porn. But it shames the actors.

I doubt if people even wore clothes 10,000 years ago.

And a hundred years from now, who knows if they will still be wearing clothes?

But humans, with their limited knowledge

and lifespan, dictate righteousness.

And that righteousness is constantly manipulated to suit their convenience.

Heard of a film called Have Faith in Goddess Shakthi?

I played the role of the goddess in that film.

One may see me as a goddess.

One may see me as a whore.

But ultimately, I am Leela. No more, no less.

Dude.

You think those three would have watched that film?

The whole world may have seen it. What difference does it make?

But you cleverly broke the TV anyway!

Dude, don't feel bad.

Think about porn stars like Mia Malkova, Mia Khalifa.

I'm sure they'll get married and have families.

What if Sunny Leone had a child?

Think of it that way.

Would you think that way, Mohan?

Fucker, why should I?

It's your mom who is a porn star. Not mine.

Son of a bitch!

Are you sure that's me?

This life is meaningless, purposeless. Yet, it is beautiful.

The most spectacular thing about life is...

this life itself!

Now, let's go ahead and see how much fun there is in creating a life of our own!

♪ Will you sing with me? ♪

♪ Say D! ♪

♪ D! ♪

♪ Say I ♪

♪ I! ♪

♪ Say S! ♪

♪ S! ♪

- ♪ C! ♪ - ♪ C! ♪

- ♪ O! ♪ - ♪ O! ♪

♪ Disco, disco, disco, disco ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ My life is a song ♪

♪ I am enjoying it so much ♪

♪ Then sway and dance ♪

♪ Come, sing and dance with me ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ Friends! ♪

♪ Songs blessed my life ♪

♪ And I am born for this ♪

♪ These people say ♪

♪ That I used to sing even then ♪

♪ When I was not even able to speak ♪

♪ These legs of mine ♪

♪ Used to dance even then When I could not walk ♪

♪ These songs ♪

♪ Are songs of my youth ♪

♪ And so are they present in my blood ♪

♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha ♪

♪ This is where I lose ♪

♪ This is where I win ♪

♪ These are my songs ♪

♪ So sway and dance ♪

♪ Come, sing and dance with me ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

♪ I am a disco dancer ♪

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