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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,160
No letting go
2
00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,160
No holding back
3
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:09,960
Because you are my lady
4
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,960
When I'm with you
It's all a that
5
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:18,960
Girl, I'm so glad we made it
6
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,960
No letting go
7
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,960
No holding back
8
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,960
No holding back, no...
9
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,480
No, stop, stop, stop.
10
00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:28,960
I beg you don't stop me
when I'm in the groove.
11
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,960
Well, I wouldn't have to if you lot
weren't butchering a classic.
12
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,320
The lyrics are,
"No letting go, no holding back
13
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:36,960
"because you are my lady."
14
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:40,960
Lady. Not some skank you picked up
behind a Maccy D's.
15
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,960
All right? Now, from the top again,
with feeling.
16
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,960
Man, I don't know.
17
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,000
I kinda liked it.
18
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,960
That's weird.
19
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,960
You look a lot like
my all-time jazz hero and idol,
20
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:55,960
General L Hands.
21
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,160
CHUCKLES
That's cos I am, baby.
22
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,320
That's cos I am.
23
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:12,960
So after fees, that's five for me
and five for you.
24
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,960
Lauren, if it was my diary
that was published,
25
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,000
why is my cut so small?
26
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,960
All them agent and manager fees.
27
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:25,480
But you're my agent and manager.
I know, it's fucking bullshit.
28
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,960
And I know exactly how much
is in here,
29
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,480
so if any of you touch it,
you're dead.
30
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,960
Why do you look so constipated?
It's a letter from Victoria.
31
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,960
Can you believe she left me here
on my own
32
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:37,960
to go to her mate's funeral?
How inconsiderate of her (!)
33
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,960
Innit. Horace, help me read this.
34
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:45,960
"Dear caramel cupcake..."
35
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,960
Something about missing you
inside of her.
36
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,960
She doesn't know
when she'll be back.
37
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,480
Are you joking?
38
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,960
What am I supposed to do
in the meantime? Cum into thin air?
39
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,960
"See you soon, my cuddly bear.
Kiss, kiss."
40
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,960
Cuddly? What does she mean, cuddly?
41
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,960
Someone you can cuddle
cos they're soft and plump.
42
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,960
Bruv, I ain't soft or plump, yeah.
This is mass.
43
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,960
Does she think I'm fat? Am I fat?
44
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,000
Guys, what are you lot
doing up here?
45
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,960
This letter from Victoria came,
innit.
46
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,960
Oh, really? I don't give a fuck!
All right?
47
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,960
The incomparable, legendary,
one and only General L Hands
48
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,960
is in my jazz club, and you lot
are pissing around up here.
49
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,800
Do not ruin this for me.
50
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:24,960
Huh?
51
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,800
CHUCKLES
52
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:31,960
I can't believe it.
53
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,960
General Hands eating
reconstituted meat in my jazz club.
54
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,960
Well, Hands had to hear the hype
for himself!
55
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:40,960
Really?
56
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,640
Everybody be like, "Ooh, you gotta
hear this band play."
57
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:46,960
I'm like, what?!
The cats wid da titty bar,
58
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,960
playing the titty music?!
59
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,960
But shit, they ain't lying.
60
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,160
Y'all smoother than apple butter.
61
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,960
Oh, my God, thank you!
62
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,960
Mm. I mean, I have zero idea
what apple butter means...
63
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,960
Flavoured lube.
64
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,160
Y'all got it going on.
65
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,960
You remind me a lot of me and my...
66
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,960
..band when we...
67
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,480
SOBS
68
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,000
You all right, mate?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
69
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,320
Just a lil ol' house fire
a few days ago
70
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,960
that burnt my band to death.
71
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,480
SOBS
72
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,960
Horace, more meat in a tin.
73
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,320
Look at me,
crying like a little girl.
74
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,960
I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to bring the mood down.
75
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,960
I just wanted to tell y'all
how good you were, that's all.
76
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,480
No, no, no, no.
Can you not stay for one more?
77
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,960
No, no. I'll see you all around.
78
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,000
Oh, er... None of y'all happen
to know a hotel around here?
79
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,000
Oh, wait,
there's the one on the corner.
80
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:46,960
Ha. Yeah. Where that young coloured
cat got viciously beaten to death.
81
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,960
That's horrible.
Why don't you just stay with us?
82
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,960
Oh, no, Hands don't wanna impose...
Only if you sure.
83
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,960
Of course.
Ha-ha!
84
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,960
You can have Horace's bed.
85
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,960
Oh, and Hands, erm, not to step on
your dead band mates' toes,
86
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,960
but if you ever wanna jam,
just let me know.
87
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:05,960
Oh, right.
Or gig.
88
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,960
You know.
But, like, a super small gig.
89
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,640
A 'grieving gig'.
Maybe tomorrow night?
90
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,960
Just you, me,
and a small paying audience.
91
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,000
Sure.
92
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,960
That sounds nice.
93
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,960
BOTH LAUGH
That way?
94
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:19,960
Yeah.
95
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,960
"Not to step on your
dead band mates' toes"?
96
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,960
What? He's grieving. And nothing
heals the soul more than jazz.
97
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,000
It's for him, not me.
Really?
98
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,960
Yes, really.
It's called being selfless, Lauren.
99
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,960
You should try it some time.
100
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:36,960
Anyway,
what are you complaining about?
101
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,960
If he performs here, do you know
how much money he'll bring in?
102
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,800
Hi. Lauren Wolton
of Wolton Management.
103
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,960
Please make yourself at home.
104
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:49,960
Here's my card. Don't be fooled by
the crayon, I am very professional.
105
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:50,960
'Agent to the stars'.
106
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,320
I'll be sure to call.
107
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,480
Here's the phone you asked for,
Mr Hands.
108
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,960
Thank you, er...
Horace.
109
00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,960
Oh. Pretty name.
110
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,160
Well...
I had a dog named Horace.
111
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,960
Hm. Contracted rabies.
112
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:05,960
Had to put it down
with my bare hands.
113
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:06,960
Hm.
Hm.
114
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,960
I had a hamster that I accidentally
sucked up with a Dyson.
115
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,960
Well, if you need anything else,
just let me know.
116
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,320
I'll be over there,
sleeping in the broom cupboard.
117
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:17,960
All right.
OK.
118
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,320
All right.
119
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,960
Hello, Willie.
120
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,800
Yeah...
121
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:26,960
What you mean, who it is?
122
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,000
'Where's my god damn money?!'
123
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,960
Calm down, Willie.
I said I'll get your money.
124
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,960
Please, baby, I just need
a little more time, that's all.
125
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,960
'Where you gonna get
that kind of money from?'
126
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,960
Don't worry about how I'm gonna
get it, I'm just gonna get...
127
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,960
'Hands? Hands? Hands!'
God damn.
128
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,480
How long you been, er,
standing there?
129
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,960
I thought you might want
some fresh towels, Mr Hands.
130
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,960
Oh, well, thank you.
131
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:54,960
Thank you. Oh, that was just
an old band mate of Hands.
132
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,960
Oh, one of the ones that died
in the house fire?
133
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,960
Yeah. No. No, no.
134
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,960
HANDS LAUGHS
135
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,960
From an older band,
from before the fire.
136
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:05,960
Oh, right.
Yeah.
137
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,960
Yeah.
Yeah.
138
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:08,960
Yeah...
139
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:11,960
Oh, you don't believe me?
140
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:13,960
You calling Hands a liar?
141
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,160
No.
That's how you wanna play it?
142
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,960
Well, two can play at that game,
sucker!
143
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:20,960
Argh!
144
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,640
What are you doing?
145
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:37,960
Lauren...
146
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,960
..you'd fuck me, right? Nothing
could make me that desperate.
147
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,960
Victoria ain't returning
any of my calls.
148
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,960
Are you still obsessing over that?
Maybe I have gained weight.
149
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,960
But it ain't my fault. It's all that
regurgitated meat and lard
150
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,800
that Horace keeps feeding us.
151
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:51,960
Plus, no-one
in this backward century
152
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,960
has heard of a fucking kettle bell!
153
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,960
Argh! Argh! Argh!
What's the hell is that?
154
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,960
Help me, help me!
Mr Hands! What's wrong?
155
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,160
My voice!
156
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,960
My voice. Take it out. Take it out!
157
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,960
The pin, from the gris-gris...
158
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,960
Take it out! Take it...
PANTING
159
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,960
Argh!
160
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,960
I can't breathe.
161
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,960
Ah!
BREATHES HEAVILY
162
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,160
PANTING
163
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,960
You. You did this!
164
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,960
You see that? He knows voodoo!
165
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,960
Me?!
First my band dying, and now this.
166
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:24,960
Ah! You!
167
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,960
No, I'm sure there's been
some kind of misunderstanding.
168
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,960
Whoa... Argh!
169
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,160
THUD
170
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,000
Horace. Horace done this.
171
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,800
He hates me.
172
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,960
This is part of his plan! Oh!
173
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,960
Oh-ho! I cannot play in your club,
174
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:44,960
and I certainly cannot
stay in this house any longer.
175
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,960
Hm-hm. Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ.
176
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,960
Whoa, whoa.
177
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,960
No, no, no, no. Hands, wait!
178
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,960
Look at that.
Horace giving me the evil eye.
179
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,160
He's got bad juju, Nicholas.
180
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,160
Deep down in his soul,
I'm telling ya!
181
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,960
Please, Hands.
There must be something we can do.
182
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,960
Lauren and I did a ouija board
for fun once,
183
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,960
but I've never actually
practised voodoo.
184
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,960
Yeah, I know,
but Hands is from Louisiana
185
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:13,960
and believes in all that stuff.
186
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,960
Where am I supposed to go?
I don't know, just...
187
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,960
go chill out somewhere.
188
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,960
Just until the bad juju is gone.
189
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,960
How long will that be?
Who can tell?
190
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,640
TBH, I'm not really a juju expert.
191
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,960
Anyway, I best go,
Hands wants a foot rub.
192
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:28,960
Love ya!
193
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,320
Are we just gonna leave him outside?
He'll be fine.
194
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,960
Horace is one of those black people
that loves sleeping outdoors. Juju?
195
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:37,960
Really?
It's a thing.
196
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,640
Look, we've already sold out
tonight's gig,
197
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,800
where you'll get to make
a shit load of money
198
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,960
and I get to perform
with my all-time hero.
199
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:45,960
Win-win.
200
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,480
Look, Hands'll be good for us.
You'll see.
201
00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:00,960
GOSPEL SINGING
202
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,960
..in the saviour's love.
203
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:18,960
Me nah know bout your god,
but my god is good.
204
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:23,640
Me nah know bout your god,
but my god is powerful.
205
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:24,960
ALL AGREE
206
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,960
Me nah know about your god,
but my god is my everything!
207
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,960
Amen.
ALL: Amen!
208
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,960
Now, me know say some a unu.
Have some pain,
209
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,320
some sorrow in your hearts.
210
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,960
If you me a chat bout, step forward.
211
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,960
Sorry.
It's all right, son.
212
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:51,960
Nothing to be afraid of.
213
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,960
What de pon yer mind?
Well, er...
214
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,960
Nothing, actually, de pon my mind.
215
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,640
Some heavy stuff
with General Hands and that,
216
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,000
but you guys don't need to hear
about that.
217
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,960
You see these?
218
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,960
Look pon dem.
219
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,960
Dem is for you.
220
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,960
Come forward and talk, my man.
221
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:08,960
Speak, brother, speak.
222
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,960
Come forward.
Come through, come through.
223
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,960
Well... Er...
224
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,960
My... My name's Horace Cunningham.
225
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,960
Welcome, Horace, welcome.
226
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,960
I've got a case of the bad juju.
227
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,960
APPLAUSE
228
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,160
KNOCK ON THE DOOR
229
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,960
Someone's in here, man.
230
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:26,960
I can't wait any longer.
231
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,960
My prostate's bigger than a coconut.
232
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,000
Ooh.
233
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,960
URINATES
234
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,960
Oh, don't mind me. Go ahead,
keep doing what you doing.
235
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:42,960
Hm. If you don't mind me saying,
you got a mighty fine musculature.
236
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,640
If by 'fine', you mean 'cuddly',
you can piss off.
237
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:50,160
Sure, you carryin' a little bit
of puppy fat here and there,
238
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,800
but I think it's kinda cute.
239
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:53,960
Yeah, well, I ain't going for cute.
240
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,960
Man's going for buff ting.
241
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,960
Hm. You chasing a perfection
that don't exist.
242
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,960
You gotta learn to love yo'self,
like Hands loves himself.
243
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,640
How can I love myself
when I look like this?
244
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,960
Look at your young, supple...
245
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,480
sweet smelling body.
246
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:15,960
Hm. God himself couldn'ta chiselled
a finer physique.
247
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,960
Aw. Thanks, Mr Hands.
248
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,960
Oh, please.
249
00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:23,960
Please, call me Linus.
250
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:24,960
Why?
251
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,960
Cos that's my name, sugar brother.
252
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,960
Oh.
253
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:34,960
Good evening, brother Horace.
Oh, bad juju!
254
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,960
I'm just gonna leave cos I don't
want to infect your congregation.
255
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,960
Relax, man.
256
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:40,960
You look tired and hungry.
257
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,960
Well, I'm on the streets now, so...
258
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,960
Lord have mercy.
259
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:46,960
You have to stay with us.
260
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,960
London can be a wicked place
for us people.
261
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:50,960
You wan' little bulla cake?
262
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,320
Yeah, I'd love some bulla cake.
You with Jesus now.
263
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,160
You baptised?
No.
264
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:57,960
ALL GASP
MAN: Sweet Jesus.
265
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,960
Lord, God. Sister Mavis,
take back the bulla cake!
266
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,480
Take it back!
267
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,960
How can you be safe
from the evil of Satan
268
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,960
and London with an uncleansed soul?
269
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,960
No worry yourself.
270
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,960
Brothers and sisters,
we have a soul to save.
271
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:13,960
ALL: Amen.
272
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,960
We're gonna go up the mountain.
273
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,960
And we are gonna
pull the devil down.
274
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,960
ALL: Amen!
We're gonna stamp him out!
275
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,480
We're gonna stamp out Lucifer!
276
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:27,640
We're gonna drag him down and say,
Lucifer, we don't want you here!
277
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,960
Stamp out Satan. Stamp out Satan!
278
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:40,960
Mr Hands, hey.
279
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,160
How you doing?
280
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,960
Fine, fine, fine.
281
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,960
Oh, I wouldn't recommend
heading in there just yet.
282
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,960
Oh, no, no, I was thinking
we should probably rehearse
283
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:51,960
for the gig tonight.
284
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,960
I was thinking we could
do a couple of your songs.
285
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,640
Who's That Mama With The Fat Ass,
Heroin Blues...
286
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:58,960
I'm sorry, brother.
287
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,000
It's just Jason and I, we got plans.
288
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,960
You're hanging out with Jason?
289
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,000
The guy who thinks
the capital of England is 'E'?
290
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,160
Boy's got a lot of talents
you folks don't know about.
291
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,960
He's hiding his light
under a bushel.
292
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:16,160
And I... I intend
to shake that bushel off
293
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,960
and feel his light
all over my face.
294
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,960
What?
295
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,320
Where's my fucking money?!
296
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,960
Nick, Jase?
Hey, Lauren.
297
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,960
What are you so happy about?
298
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,480
Ah, nothing. Just a certain someone
taught me how to love myself.
299
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:47,640
Good for you.
300
00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:49,960
On a subject more important
than your mental health,
301
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:50,960
my money's gone.
302
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,960
Why you looking at me?
This is nice.
303
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,960
Feels expensive. Is that real fur?
304
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,000
I dunno. Linus bought it for me.
305
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,960
Why would General Hands
buy you a fur coat?
306
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,800
It's called being nice.
You might want to try it some time.
307
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,640
If I bought JJ a fur coat,
I'd expect 'something' in return.
308
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:09,160
You see? A man being unable
to buy another man nice things
309
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,960
is everything that's wrong
with modern day masculinity.
310
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,960
Ready, Linus.
311
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,960
OK, pretty mouth, shine for me.
312
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,480
ALL: Oh, happy days
313
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,960
When Jesus washed
314
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,960
My sins away.
315
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:33,960
Psst... Psst...
316
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,320
Horace.
317
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,960
Jesus?
Behind you.
318
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,960
Oh, Horace, it's so good
to hear your voice.
319
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,960
Janice, is that you?
320
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,960
Listen to me, Horace,
I don't have much time,
321
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,160
there are eyes everywhere.
322
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,960
You are no longer safe here.
323
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,960
Meet me outside on the corner
in ten minutes. Do you understand?
324
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,960
Er, yeah, OK.
325
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,960
Brother Horace.
You ready for your baptism?
326
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,320
I can't.
Baptism can be a little scary,
327
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,960
but you must have faith.
328
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,960
Can you do a baptism in 8.5 minutes?
Nah, man!
329
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,960
You can't rush
the transformative experience
330
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,960
of stepping into the light of our
Father, the Lord Jesus Christ.
331
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,160
Amen?
ALL: Amen.
332
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,800
OK, well, quick as you can.
333
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,960
I know you've got my money,
you creepy piece of shit.
334
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,160
What the fuck?
335
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,960
Oh, my God.
336
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,960
Nick.
337
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,640
What are you doing?
338
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,960
Hands said he needs
some clean drawers.
339
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:12,960
Oh, all right, well.
340
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,960
I don't wanna piss on your chips,
but General Hands is a sex pest.
341
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,960
What? No, no, no.
342
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,960
This is like my idol
Bill Cosby again.
343
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,960
Suddenly several dozen women
appear out of nowhere,
344
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,960
and I'm supposed to believe that
they were all preyed on by one guy,
345
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,960
because they all happened
to have the exact same story.
346
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,960
I will not believe it.
Look.
347
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,960
Oh, my God.
I know.
348
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:38,960
Oh, my God.
349
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,960
There's loads of them.
350
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,960
Jason's been feeling down
about his weight,
351
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,960
Hands has been taking advantage.
They must've spent hours togethers.
352
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,800
Sorry, what? What, are they like
best friends now, or something?
353
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,480
Me and Hands have way more
in common. Un-fuckin'-believable!
354
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,960
GRUNTING
355
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,960
Yeah, Hands got ya now, boy!
356
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,480
Fight back, now. Come on. Come on!
357
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:04,960
Horace.
358
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,320
Horace.
359
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:10,960
MUSIC: 'Blinded By Your Grace'
by Stormzy
360
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:14,640
Although I'm not worthy
361
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,480
You fixed me
362
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,960
Now I'm blinded
363
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,960
By your grace
364
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,960
You came and saved me
365
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:24,960
One time for the Lord
366
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,960
And one time for the cause...
367
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,960
You are cleansed, my son.
368
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,960
Peace be with you,
peace be with you.
369
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,960
Horace, are you all right?
370
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,960
Lauren... I'm juju-free.
371
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,960
Horace, you don't have bad juju.
Hands is a bullshitter.
372
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,960
Really?
Yeah.
373
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,960
He's got everyone brainwashed.
374
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,960
And more importantly,
that dickhead stole my money.
375
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,960
Maybe he borrowed your money
to pay back his band mate.
376
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:49,960
What?
I heard him on the phone
377
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,960
saying that he's gonna pay someone
back as soon as he finds a way.
378
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,160
That lying piece of shit. Come on.
Where are we going?
379
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,960
To tell everyone
that Hands is a bullshitter.
380
00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,960
Brother Horace, is way you a go?
381
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:00,960
I've got to go now.
382
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,960
But thanks, Pastor Gabriel.
383
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,960
It was the best 45 minutes
of my life.
384
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,480
Sister Gloria, me a go call you.
385
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,960
Sister Mavis, thanks for di bulla,
yeah.
386
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,960
Deacon Russell and Brother Tony,
me see unu later. Bless up.
387
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,000
Lauren.
388
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,960
Where are you, Horace?
389
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,800
Come on. Hurry up.
390
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,960
Where are you going?
391
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,800
Eurgh.
392
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:49,960
Ugh.
393
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,960
What are you doing?
Oh! Good Lord.
394
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,960
Why are you throwing them away?
I made these for you.
395
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,960
Why?!
Cos it's what you like.
396
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,000
Oh, baby, I think you got
the wrong idea.
397
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,960
Hey, guys, what's going on?
398
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,640
You took naked pictures of Jason.
399
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,960
What are you doing with my pictures?
400
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,320
Now can I say something?
Say what?
401
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,000
We know that he manipulated you
into taking these pictures.
402
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,960
No, he didn't. You don't have to lie
for this creep.
403
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,960
Linus ain't no creep.
404
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,640
He calls you pretty mouth.
I do have a pretty mouth.
405
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,160
Yeah. Sorry, sorry,
he lets you call him Linus?
406
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,960
I don't even get to call him Linus.
407
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,960
Linus took these pictures
cos I asked him to. Why?
408
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,960
Cos I'm beautiful.
And I forgot that.
409
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,960
And if it wasn't for Linus,
I may have never remembered.
410
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,320
That still doesn't explain why
he took naked pictures of you.
411
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,960
Linus suggested we do a photo shoot
to remind Victoria of my beauty.
412
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,960
Bullshit.
These are all cock and balls.
413
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,960
He ain't even got rid
of your double chin.
414
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,960
BOTH GASP
415
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,000
Don't you listen to her,
she just a mean ass ho.
416
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,960
You...
Whoa, whoa!
417
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,960
Well, who gave you the right
to go through my trunk, anyhow?
418
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,960
I know that you stole my money.
419
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,960
I have never been made to feel
so unwanted.
420
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,960
And I've been chased
by the Ku Klux Klan!
421
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,960
SIGHS
Hands is gone.
422
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,960
No, Hands, don't leave again!
423
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:06,960
Hands!
424
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,960
No, Mr Hands, what about the gig?
425
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,960
What about
our blossoming friendship?
426
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:16,960
My money.
427
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:17,960
I knew it!
428
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:18,960
Linus.
429
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,960
Why is your suitcase full of
dirty magazines? Oh, my God.
430
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,960
You were gonna sell Jason's
pictures to the magazine.
431
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:25,960
What?! No.
432
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,480
They're just my pictures for
a lil' self lovin', that's all.
433
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:30,960
"Dearest Linus.
434
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,960
"Thank you for your selection
of pictures.
435
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:37,480
"They will appear in next month's
issue of Scantily Clad Gents."
436
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,960
Well, Hands, he's gotta eat.
437
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,960
Wait, wait. I get why you wanted
pictures of Jason,
438
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,960
but it still doesn't explain why you
didn't want to hang out with me.
439
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,960
I find you creepy.
440
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,960
See you around, creepy.
441
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,640
Yeah, well...
442
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,960
Your third studio album
was mediocre at best!
443
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:01,960
Weak.
444
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,960
Insults aren't your thing,
are they, bruv?
445
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,960
GRUNTS
446
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:09,960
Argh!
447
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,640
All right, well, time to go.
Gig's cancelled.
448
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:13,960
And no refunds, as we're not covered
449
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,640
for the main act
being a dirty old man.
450
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,960
Maybe I'm the one with bad juju.
451
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,960
Come on, let's get you
some meat in a tin.
452
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:23,960
Come on.
453
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,960
Thanks, Horace. You're a good man.
454
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,960
I am a good man.
455
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:35,960
Janice!
456
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,960
Where is the time machine?
457
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,960
Young man, you look
a little troubled.
458
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:46,960
You wan' a little bulla cake?
459
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,960
JANICE BREATHES HEAVILY
460
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:53,800
Put her in the van.
461
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,640
Subtitles by TVT
462
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:08,240
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