Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,960
All right, Lauren.
2
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,320
Spend it wisely.
3
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:13,960
You know what?
4
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,960
You remind me of me at your age.
5
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,960
You were a 25-year-old black woman?
6
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,960
HE SCOFFS
Get out of it.
7
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,640
Tit.
8
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,960
All right, Lauren?
All right, girls?
9
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,960
Lauren, as a woman, of sorts,
10
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,000
do you not mind getting them out
for the pleasure of men?
11
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,960
I don't get them out, you dick.
12
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,960
I'm security. Anyway, that place
is all side boob and feathers.
13
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,640
Side boob?
14
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,960
We have not travelled through
the infinite reaches of time
15
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,320
for side boob.
16
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,960
We are starting our residency
at The Blue Flamingo Club
17
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,960
supporting General Hands.
18
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,960
Remember when Dad first played us
some General Hands?
19
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,000
I do. You got a boner and
excused yourself to the bathroom.
20
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,960
Yeah. That is what is called
an emotional erection.
21
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,960
Guess you're feeling pretty
emotional right now.
22
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:00,000
Damn right I am.
HE CHUCKLES
23
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,960
Er... Nick?
24
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,960
What's going on?
25
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,960
Blue Flamingo's a rock 'n' roll club
now, innit?
26
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,960
Jazz is dead, mate.
27
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:14,960
No.
28
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,960
No!
29
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,800
No!
30
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,960
HE WHIMPERS
31
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:38,160
Oh, it's so good to have you back,
my little, chocolate cupcake.
32
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,960
It's good to be back, my...
33
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,960
Milk...
HE CHUCKLES
34
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,960
Your yard is different to last time.
It's a lot more, like...
35
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,000
What's a nice word for shit?
36
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,960
Oh, it's not mine, darling.
37
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,960
An air raid smashed my house
to bits.
38
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,320
Luckily, my brother died
so I got his.
39
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,960
Oh, what a touch!
I know!
40
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,960
Oh! Oh!
41
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,000
Er... Did you call us in here
to watch?
42
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,960
Oh, so sorry, darlings.
43
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,960
Now, this is terribly awkward.
44
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,960
Hate to ask, but I am practically
on the breadline
45
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:18,960
so if you're planning on staying,
I do rather need rentingtons.
46
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,960
Rent?
?1 a month each.
47
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,960
All right. Don't shit a brick.
48
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:30,960
I'll sort you out a payday loan
at a very reasonable 300% interest.
49
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:34,480
Oh, thanks so much!
Erm, thank you, but no, thanks.
50
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,960
I don't want your titty money.
Suit yourself.
51
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,960
Good luck on the streets.
I don't need luck.
52
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,800
My mother, jazz, will feed me
from her brassy teat.
53
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:43,960
Oh, darlington, darlington,
54
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,960
a coloured chap cannot wander the
streets alone at this time of night!
55
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,800
No, I tell you what,
you can stay here for nothing.
56
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,800
Oh, right, thanks.
57
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,960
In the garden.
58
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,960
What the fuck?
59
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,960
I see you found my jazz club.
60
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,960
Your what?
My jazz club.
61
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,960
We ran it for the boys in the war.
62
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,640
Give the poor dears a last hurrah
before their certain deaths.
63
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,000
JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS
64
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,160
I've just had the most amazing idea.
65
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,960
Why don't we turn this place
into a jazz club?
66
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,480
Yes...
Darling, that's exactly what it was.
67
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,960
You could clean it up
and it'd be right as rain.
68
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,800
I mean, we just need to clean it up
and it will be perfect.
69
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,320
Parfait.
70
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:51,960
Now, I left a small pillbox
down here.
71
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,480
It's about yea big
and full of naughty salt.
72
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,960
So, if you find it,
will you let me know immediately?
73
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,640
Nothing like a cheeky toot
before bed.
74
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,320
If I build it...
75
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,960
..jazz will come.
76
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,960
You gonna get out of my way
or shall I just piss on your feet?
77
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,960
DOOR OPENS
78
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,960
Munch it all up, darling.
I want you to stay strong.
79
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,160
Mwah! Mwah!
80
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,960
Morning.
81
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,960
Shit, sorry, dude.
What for?
82
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,960
Well, clearly they're banging.
83
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,640
Nah, that's just some guy.
84
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,960
Toria's broke
so she's renting out rooms.
85
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,960
Mate. Some fit, black guy comes
out of her room with a tin of meat.
86
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,960
Does Victoria share her meat
with you?
87
00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,000
No, but maybe she doesn't know
I'm into meat.
88
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,960
Look, me and Vic are solid.
89
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,960
Back together like Bey and Jay,
90
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,960
Snoop and Dre,
Meghan and that ginger guy.
91
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,640
All right. Long as you're cool
with her double dipping.
92
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,960
Oh, shut up, man.
Just cos some guy
93
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,640
the same age,
race and build as her boyfriend
94
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:01,960
comes out of her room...
95
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,960
Oh, shit.
96
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,960
There she is. Treacle cheeks.
97
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,960
I've been thinking
about this place's future.
98
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,800
Feathers and side boobs are
all right, but they're a bit lame.
99
00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,480
In a few years,
it's gonna be all poles,
100
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,960
laps and 50 quid a dance.
Oh, yeah?
101
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,960
How do you know that?
It's progress, isn't it?
102
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:31,960
You can't stop it, but you can
pre-empt it and get rich.
103
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,320
Both of us.
104
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,320
I like your ambition, love,
105
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,960
but this is a man's business.
What do women know about stripping?
106
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,640
HE CHUCKLES
107
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,800
I'll show you what women know about
stripping, you colossal dick splash!
108
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,960
Oh, my gosh. What is this place?
109
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,960
This...
is London's newest jazz club.
110
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,640
Is it?
This is where I'll save jazz.
111
00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,960
This stage will be graced
by the likes of Charlie Parker,
112
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:06,320
Dizzy Gillespie, John Coltrane
and the one and only, General Hands.
113
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,960
Wow. Oh, can I be a part of it?
Yeah, of course!
114
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,960
Pick a role.
Er... Janitor!
115
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,960
No! Head janitor!
116
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:19,960
How about assistant deputy manager?
117
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:21,480
Ladies and gentlemen,
118
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:25,960
welcome to the Wu-Tang Clan
Jazz Band Land! Yeah!
119
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:30,800
Or welcome to Nick's World Famous
Jazz Club!
120
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,960
Yeah, yeah!
Or...
121
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,960
It's not open for discussion.
OK.
122
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:40,960
"Dear Mr General L Hands,
I am a huge fan."
123
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,800
HE CHUCKLES
Listen to me,
124
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:44,960
I sound like a 12-year-old girl.
HE CHUCKLES
125
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,800
I'm not.
126
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,000
"I am Nick Walton of Nick's
World Famous Jazz Club
127
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,960
"and it would be a dream come true
if you played my jazz joint.
128
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,640
"I can guarantee you a pure,
129
00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:02,960
"unadulterated jazz experience
including industry minimum fee.
130
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,960
"I can't wait to hear from you.
131
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,000
"Lots of love,
from your biggest fan, Nick.
132
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,960
"PS, I've enclosed a lock
of my afro."
133
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,960
I'll bring you flowers
134
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,960
In the pouring rain
135
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,960
Living without you
Is driving me insane
136
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,960
I'll bring your flowers
137
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,960
I'll make your day
138
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,960
Those tears you cry
I'll dry them all away...
139
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,960
Here, can you keep it down?
140
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,000
We're trying to play
a game of Whist.
141
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,960
Oh, God, I'm so sorry
for interrupting your game
142
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,960
by playing jazz in a jazz club.
How inconsiderate of me.
143
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,960
You know it's all rock 'n' roll now.
144
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,960
Only flashers and nonce cases
listen to jazz.
145
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,160
OK, we're gonna take a quick five.
No, no, no.
146
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,960
Please don't stop,
I've just found my cocaine.
147
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,960
Up the hatch!
SHE SNIFFS
148
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,960
I hate Len so much.
149
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,960
How's he gonna tell me
I don't know about strip clubs?
150
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,960
I've been watching Lil Kim videos
since the early noughties.
151
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:41,960
Yeah, well, I hate Victoria.
152
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,960
I mean, how you gonna shack up
with some next bredder
153
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,960
when man's took a time machine,
154
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,960
a ras clart time machine,
to be with you?
155
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,960
Look, a Singer with a singer.
156
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,960
Yeah, nice one, Horace.
157
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,960
I hate this.
Where's all the beatniks?
158
00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:00,960
The beboppers, the jazz heads?
Where's all the people?
159
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,640
Well, if you want bums on seats,
I could get you bums on seats.
160
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,960
What kind of bums?
Cash-laden, party-loving bums.
161
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,960
All over your seats.
162
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,960
All above board, right?
You want them or not?
163
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,960
HE BELCHES
Better out than in.
164
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,320
I want bums on seats.
165
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,960
MACHINE STATIC
166
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:37,640
All right, and fan up, breasts out,
bang, great, nice.
167
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,960
I don't want any breathing space
between the norks.
168
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,960
And bang, nice, watch the thing,
snaky, beautiful.
169
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,160
Cheeks, breasts. Fab! Next!
What the hell is this?
170
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,960
Bums on seats, mon frere.
Strippers?
171
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,960
Dancers, please. You want a crowd?
You'll get a crowd.
172
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,960
You can't make an omelette
without breaking some tits out.
173
00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,960
Yeah, I don't think that's a saying.
174
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,960
Right, everybody off.
We're shutting this down.
175
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,960
What is your problem?
It's demeaning to jazz!
176
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:04,960
And women.
177
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,960
This is not your average, low rent
strip club. Right, Horace?
178
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,160
Correct.
This is a feminist strip club.
179
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:13,000
All the girls will represent
a strong, female role model...
180
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,960
with tassels!
181
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,480
I want everybody out.
182
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,160
Fine. You go and tell the punters
outside, then.
183
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,480
Gladly.
184
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,960
So, you gonna tell them
to piss off, then?
185
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,960
So, she's the warrior,
Queen Boudicca and I've designed it
186
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,320
so that whenever she waves
her sword, her costume...
187
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:52,480
falls off. It's very empowering.
188
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,480
Too much? Not enough?
189
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,320
Can someone help hold my boobs
while I put my bra on?
190
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,960
Wow.
191
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,800
I've never seen you not look
at boobs before.
192
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:05,960
You even had a peek at my nana's
at the chapel of rest.
193
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,960
Yeah, out of respect.
Sorry, brother. I got it bad.
194
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,160
Why don't you talk to Victoria?
195
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,960
From the heart, ask her
whether she's sleeping with him.
196
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,320
I mean, you need to know.
Yeah.
197
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,960
You're right. Thanks, Horace.
Yeah, that's all right.
198
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:25,960
Excuse me.
199
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,800
EASTERN EUROPEAN ACCENT: I'm just
cleaner, I saw nothing suspicious.
200
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:31,960
No. You're not just a cleaner
though, are you?
201
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,960
Er...
You're a...
202
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:38,960
fashion icon!
203
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,960
I mean, just look at that tabard,
I love it.
204
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,160
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS,
SHE GROANS
205
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:48,640
What is that? Is it camera?
No, it's a phone...
206
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,320
Not a phone.
It's just a pack of cigarettes.
207
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,960
But the flash.
That's a torch.
208
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,960
So that you can light
your cigarettes in the dark.
209
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,960
Bye.
210
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,800
Victoria, I need to know
what's going on with you and him.
211
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,960
Sorry?
Painting him, giving him your meat.
212
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,960
Sweetheart, this is you.
213
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,960
It's him or me.
214
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,160
Dear heart, JJ is my son.
215
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,800
HE CHUCKLES
216
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,960
Yeah, that's, like,
the oldest excuse in the book.
217
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,960
Is it?
Yeah, we've all used that one.
218
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,480
I would have thought
that the pictures
219
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,960
were a little bit of a giveaway.
220
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,160
Wait, what? Who's that?
My husband.
221
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,960
Hugo Rutherford-Fine.
You're married?
222
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,960
He died in the war.
223
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,960
That's such good news.
224
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:42,960
Cos I thought you and JJ
were together,
225
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,960
like, banging each other
and shit.
226
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:49,160
No, darling.
You're my only velvet cocoa pod.
227
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,960
Oh!
228
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,960
Oh, that's so hot,
you adopting a brown baby.
229
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,960
You're like Madonna or something.
230
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,960
I'll bring you flowers
231
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,960
In the pouring rain
232
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:06,960
Living without you
233
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,800
Is driving me insane
234
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,160
I'll bring you flowers
235
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,960
I'll make your day
236
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,960
Those tears you cry
237
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,960
I'll dry them all away, away...
238
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,960
Yeah! Ooh, I like that!
239
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,480
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
240
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,960
What a night.
Oh, it was incredible!
241
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,000
I mean, the place was packed
and they were so into the jazz,
242
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,960
they barely even looked
at the breasts.
243
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,960
Oh, I looked. I looked a lot.
244
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,960
I've been thinking, these girls,
they work hard, right?
245
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,960
Well, if you consider standing round
in big arse pants hard work,
246
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,960
then, yeah, I suppose.
And you're making a lot of money.
247
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,000
Damn right.
Which is why
248
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:55,160
me and the girls have been thinking
we should become a co-op.
249
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,960
Like the one near my house
with the Big Issue guy outside?
250
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,960
No, no, no.
That's The Co-op.
251
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:00,960
He's talking about a co-op.
252
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,960
Where everyone is treated equally
and gets their fair share,
253
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,960
including sick pay, holiday pay
254
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,960
and maternity leave.
That will ruin us.
255
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,960
Well, if you don't agree,
256
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:14,960
then, maybe, the girls will forget
how to get them out.
257
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,960
All right, you got a deal.
CHEERING
258
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,960
You better pull out all the stops
tomorrow night.
259
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,960
I want a tit-swinging extravaganza,
you got it?
260
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:28,800
A morally responsible
tit-swinging extravaganza.
261
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,960
Got it.
262
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,640
JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS
263
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,960
General Hands.
264
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,000
General, General Hands, sir!
265
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,960
It's me. It's Nick.
Nick Walton, I wrote to you.
266
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,960
Yeah, you did.
267
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,480
But I must have got
the wrong address!
268
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,960
Whoa, wait, wait.
269
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,960
Where you going?
Please, come in, play with us.
270
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:32,960
This ain't my scene, baby.
Hands don't play no titty bar!
271
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,960
Titty bar? No, it's a jazz club.
272
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,960
HE SCOFFS
273
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,960
You see them things
bouncing around on the stage?
274
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:44,960
Thems is titties.
And they in a bar.
275
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,960
So, that makes this a titty bar!
Nasty!
276
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,000
No, please!
277
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Mr Hands, don't go!
278
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,640
Mr Hands, give me one more chance,
please!
279
00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,640
Mr Hands!
280
00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:02,320
Hands!
281
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,960
Fine! What do you know?
282
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,000
I'm single-handedly keeping
jazz alive in Britain.
283
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,960
Fuck you, Hands!
284
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,960
HE SIGHS
Oh, come on.
285
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,960
Word spread
about our pension scheme.
286
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,960
This lot have quit Len's club
to come and work for us.
287
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,960
They all want a piece
of Nick's World Famous Club.
288
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,960
Nick's World Famous Jazz Club.
289
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,000
Look. I've got planning approval
from the council
290
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:40,960
to build three floors of private
dancing and discrete VIP rooms.
291
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,960
We'll dig down to create
a nudist bar in the basement
292
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,640
with a pool and a sex swing.
293
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,960
Remember in 2018
when you went on that Women's March?
294
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,960
Yeah, that will be then.
This is now.
295
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,320
I'm still a woman
296
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,960
and when I'm running
Nick's World Famous Stupid Club,
297
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,640
I'm gonna make sure
it's kept lady-friendly.
298
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,960
Track two off the menu,
Johnnies de rigueur,
299
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,960
creeps and pedoes logged and tagged.
300
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,960
Is there gonna be any jazz
playing in this club?
301
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,640
There'll be jazz mags,
do they count?
302
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,960
This is my club.
This is my vision and you're...
303
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,960
I mean, you're jizzing all over it!
304
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,160
'Julius, are you there?'
305
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,960
They have technology
far more advanced than our own.
306
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,960
A curious device that is telephone,
can instantly take photograph,
307
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,960
yet also carry cigarette.
'Ah, king size?'
308
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,960
I cannot determine.
'Intriguing.
309
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,960
'Bring me this device,
I need evidence.
310
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,960
'Only then will I believe you.'
311
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,800
HE HANGS UP
312
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:38,960
SHE SIGHS
313
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,800
My first husband gave me
many things,
314
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,960
but carnal pleasure
was not one of them.
315
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,960
Oh, is that why you adopted JJ?
316
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,960
To fill the void
in your dry-arse marriage?
317
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,640
I've got a tiny, teeny confession
to make.
318
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,160
JJ was not adopted.
319
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,960
What?
320
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,960
But how can two white people
have a brown baby?
321
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,960
Look, he's got six toes.
322
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:13,960
There's only one way a baby of mine
could have six toes.
323
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,960
Babes, I don't know
what you're talking about.
324
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,480
Hugo...
325
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,000
is not his father.
Oh!
326
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,960
Oh, who was, then?
Oh, my Nubian prince.
327
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:32,480
JJ was born 32 years ago.
328
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,960
Not that long after you left.
329
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,960
Do you know why he's called JJ?
330
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,960
The second J stands for Junior
331
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:51,960
and the first J stands for...
332
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,960
Jason.
HE CHUCKLES
333
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:02,960
That's my name!
Oh, you know, if I had a son,
334
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,960
I always thought I'd call him
Jason Junior.
335
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,960
Man, we got bare stuff in common.
336
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:10,960
Night.
337
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,160
And one, two, three, four, five,
338
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,960
six, seven, eight and one...
339
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,960
Oh, my God! Len's here!
340
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,960
You took all my girls!
341
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:28,960
Not a single Bristol
left on my stage!
342
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,960
I didn't take, they came.
343
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:36,960
It ain't right for a son
to have to make his own mum
344
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,960
get her norks out on stage
just to keep his business afloat!
345
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,960
I trusted you, Lauren!
Like you was family.
346
00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:46,960
Yeah, that's always a mistake.
347
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,960
I've come for my girls! Boys...
348
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,640
Nets.
THEY SCREAM
349
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,320
Over my dead body!
You what?
350
00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,800
You'll have to take me first.
Wait, why? Your brother rang.
351
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,960
Said I could pick them up any time.
352
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,960
What?
Oh...
353
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,960
Yes, I didn't like the direction
my jazz club was heading in.
354
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,960
Fuck your club, you dick!
355
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,960
It's always men, pigs, oppressors.
356
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:19,960
I was gonna give these girls
a chance to earn some proper money.
357
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,960
Branch out into phone sex,
high-end pornos.
358
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:27,160
I am sick of men
crushing women's hopes and dreams!
359
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,960
Time is up!
360
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,960
THEY SCREAM
361
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,960
You're all bad!
362
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,000
Here, what's happened
to all the boobs?
363
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,960
Oh, they've taken a sabbatical.
We empowered them a bit too much.
364
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,960
SHE SIGHS
Oh, damn these pinching shoes, man.
365
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,960
Put them away, no-one wants to see
your freaky six toes.
366
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:57,960
Who has six toes?
You have.
367
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,480
One. Two.
368
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:06,960
Three.
Three.
369
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,960
Four.
370
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,960
What comes after four?
Three.
371
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,480
We've had three, haven't we?
Five.
372
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,960
Good. Mm-hm.
373
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,960
Sss...
Six.
374
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,960
Six.
375
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:22,960
Six.
376
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,960
"JJ was born
not long after you left.
377
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,960
"J is for Jason, Jason, Jason.
378
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,320
"J is for Junior, Junior, Junior,
Junior.
379
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,960
"Only my baby boy has six toes,
six toes, six toes, six toes.
380
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,960
"Six toes, six toes, six toes."
381
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,960
Shit.
382
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,960
Subtitles by TVT
383
00:21:47,010 --> 00:21:51,560
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
28840
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof