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- Previously on No Tomorrow...
- Tyra DeNeil Fields
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is the most popular
astrophysicist in the world.
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And she's just the
sort of person who could
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not only validate my theory,
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but alert the general public.
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Can you toss this for me, please?
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CyberHugs does not yet have
an animal rescue branch.
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And I think someone with your experience
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should help us launch it.
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My brother's trotting
out his new fiancée.
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This... is Sofia.
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It's a green card marriage.
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I'm into you.
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Sofia Letícia Fernandes.
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Will you marry me?
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If you are with them,
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you are, by definition,
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against me.
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You are therefore no
longer my boyfriend.
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What is your name?
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Stanley J. Turkleton.
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Lie.
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What is your name?
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Harvey Stevens. Sioux City, Iowa.
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Lie.
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What is your name?
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Hamish Stegner.
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You did it!
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- All you got to do is, uh...
- _
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think about something calm, like, um...
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like light rain, or the infinite size
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of the universe, and your tiny
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little miniscule part in it.
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Okay, got it.
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What's your name?
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- Martha Waterbottom.
- _
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Lie.
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Where do you live?
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Buckingham Palace.
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- Lie.
- Balls.
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Why don't I ask the question,
maybe it'll keep you more calm.
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- Okay.
- Okay.
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Um, do you like my new haircut?
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- Yes.
- Lie.
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Evie.
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Ugh. Uh, do, uh, do you like, um,
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my French toast?
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- Yes.
- Lie.
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Evie, come... You ate four
pieces of that yesterday.
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You said it gave you a yumgasm.
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Well, I didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
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- Do you like any of my cooking?
- Yes.
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Lie.
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You make good microwave popcorn.
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- Lie.
- Reggie, you're killing me.
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You're... Okay.
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Something else. Um...
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All right.
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Do... I satisfy you sexually?
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Yes.
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Is there something that you want to do
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that we haven't tried yet?
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No.
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Lie.
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Do you want to try that right now?
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Yes.
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That is true.
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Reggie, you're dismissed.
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Right.
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= synced and corrected by Shahrazade =
... www.addic7ed.com ...
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Screw the lie detector test.
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I got to cross
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- a way better item off my list.
- _
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I admitted something
very personal to Xavier,
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and it paid off.
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Three times.
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Wake me when you do something
that requires a safeword.
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Oh! And this morning at the coffee shop,
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I got too much change
back, so I told the barista
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and she gave me a free scone!
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An honesty scone.
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- You're like a human hangover.
- The universe rewards honesty.
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And I'm gonna keep the rewards coming.
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Hank's taking over for
me in quality control,
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and I'm gonna give him the
cold, hard truth about that job.
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In the form of a color-coded,
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- fully comprehensive binder.
- Okay,
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can you keep this honesty
mission to yourself?
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Some people are very content
to live in a world of lies.
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Radical honesty is very liberating.
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Maybe you can apply
it to that situation...
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- with your... with your brother...?
- Shh. Oh!
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Hey, Rohan!
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Who needs a little happy sippy?
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Yay!
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So much... joy.
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Okay. What's happening?
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Yeah. He's not handling the
breakup with Sofia well at all.
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I told him he could come here
and raid my mini-bottle stash.
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You have to tell him you're
engaged to his ex-fiancée.
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Wha... I'm going to, but first
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- I have to get him through the stages.
- Wh-what?
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With every breakup, he goes through five
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very specific stages of grief.
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Stage one... day drinking.
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Two... despondency over trivial things.
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Three... excessive self-love.
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Four... TRH: Totally Random Hookup.
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And finally five... obsession
with physical fitness.
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Once he gets through all
of those, he'll be over her,
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and I can tell him the
truth about everything,
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and not ruin our relationship.
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Is that a lama?
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An alpaca, actually.
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You know, like the blankets?
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It's animal therapy.
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It's part of a company-wide initiative
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to improve work conditions post-strike.
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Yeah. All this week, an animal
therapy training center...
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supported by CyberHugs...
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is going to bring in their
animals during lunch hour.
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What do you think?
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Honestly...
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I think it's fantastic.
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Just be careful when you go over there.
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I almost ruined my 'Gamos
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stepping in some alpaca caca.
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Yeah, they are heavy defecators.
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That's good to know.
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I got to get back to work,
but, um, enjoy therapy.
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Wow. This is quite the line.
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Oh. Yeah. Sorry for the wait.
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We only have the one alpaca today.
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We hate to split up Brad and
Angelina but it was inevitable.
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We couldn't afford the double-wide.
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Oh. Didn't CyberHugs give you
a sizable donation recently?
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Oh, yeah. But that
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five percent processing fee
really takes a chunk out of it.
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Well, since when do we
charge a processing fee?
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I don't know.
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I mean, I'd be thrilled
if it was a mistake.
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We really could use a bigger trailer.
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And the staff could use new boots.
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Alpacas are heavy defecators.
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Yeah. I've heard that.
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You know what? Let me get
your name and contact info,
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and I'll look into the
fee and then follow up.
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Uh, my name and number is Sabrina...
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- Mm-hmm...
- and it's 206.
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Oh, gosh, what is the freaking hold up?
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I loved her.
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And then she left, and
you're my only friend.
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I loved her so much.
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Oh, wow. Okay. Stage one complete.
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Move this way.
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Okay. Don't judge. We
all cope with heartbreak
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in different ways.
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Hey.
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You doing okay?
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She's wearing purple.
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That's my favorite color.
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It's just mean.
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Maybe you should pet the therapy alpaca.
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I just don't get it. I
mean, we had this heat.
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This flaming heat.
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Then it fizzles out
because of some work issue?
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Like, flames don't fizzle.
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That's not how flames work.
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Maybe it was just a fling.
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It...
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- definitely wasn't a fling...
- Yeah?
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Well, how would you know?
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Okay.
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The truth is really
working for me today,
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so I'm gonna lay some on you.
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When Xavier nearly got
me fired, the only way
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Deirdre would rehire me was if
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I helped her win your affections.
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I was the subject of a conspiracy?
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She called it Operation Hanky Panky.
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It had a codename?
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See? It wasn't a fling. And if you want
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to be with her, tell
her exactly how you feel.
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You're right. You're so friggin' right.
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That a boy. Go get that honesty scone.
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Yeah. Gonna get that scone!
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- Is that a sex thing?
- Never mind.
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- 'Cause I'm open to new ideas.
- No. It's not a sex thing.
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- It sounds like a sex thing.
- It's not a sex thing.
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Okay, 'cause it is now.
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- Hey!
- Hey.
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- What are you doing?
- I am ordering supplies.
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How cute is Cyber Marty?
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- What?
- Cyber Marty. He's our upselling tool.
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You know, before you finalize
your order, he suggests
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other items to buy
based on your purchase.
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- Oh, yeah.
- And the people who frequently order
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what Marty recommends are...
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Cybermart's most valued customers.
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- We call them The Suggestibles.
- Oh!
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He wants you to buy
an electric can opener,
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because you bought a...
case of creamed corn?
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Yeah. Well, I'm just getting provisions
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in case I need to
hole up for a few days.
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Well, why would you need to hole up?
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Because, according to my calculations,
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Tyra DeNeil Fields will be
publishing her peer review
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of my theory in the next couple of days.
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Why do you say that?
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Well, I figure... she's had my research
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for a month. It took me two weeks
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to double-check the
math, but with her I.Q.,
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she could probably do
that in half the time.
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However, she had a two
week conference in Toledo
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00:08:00,524 --> 00:08:03,363
and a lecture to prepare
for in Boston. Add...
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six days assuming she
doesn't work weekends
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and a two day grace period,
and the logical conclusion
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00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,731
is that she's gonna go
public in the next 48 hours.
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00:08:09,733 --> 00:08:12,033
And I do not want to be around
during the ensuing chaos.
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Oh, gosh. Honesty scone.
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- What?
- I have to tell you something.
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All right.
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Tyra never read your theory.
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00:08:22,976 --> 00:08:26,592
The day you gave your research
to her, she threw it away.
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00:08:26,622 --> 00:08:27,766
Wait, what?
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00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,634
Well, I went back to
grab my purse and I saw
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00:08:29,636 --> 00:08:32,404
- her toss it.
- Right after I gave it to her?
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00:08:32,775 --> 00:08:34,206
Yes.
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A month ago?
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00:08:36,076 --> 00:08:37,076
Yes.
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00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:41,513
Wait, you've been holding
onto this for a month?
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- I'm sorry...
- Evie, that's a month
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00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,350
I'm never gonna get back.
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00:08:45,352 --> 00:08:47,652
That's one of the only
six we've got left!
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00:08:47,654 --> 00:08:49,020
- Xavier...
- That's a month that
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00:08:49,022 --> 00:08:50,689
countless people have
wasted their lives,
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00:08:50,691 --> 00:08:52,457
'cause they don't know
the world is ending.
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00:08:52,459 --> 00:08:55,260
Evie, time is the only
thing that matters and...
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00:08:57,531 --> 00:08:59,874
You just stole a bloody month from me.
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00:09:00,217 --> 00:09:02,133
- Well, I just thought...
- No.
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00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:05,837
There's nothing you can
say to make this better.
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00:09:17,297 --> 00:09:18,963
She stole from me.
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00:09:18,965 --> 00:09:20,031
I mean...
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00:09:20,033 --> 00:09:22,272
- Eh...
- No. She stole from me.
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00:09:22,302 --> 00:09:23,635
A month, a whole month.
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00:09:23,637 --> 00:09:25,537
And it was one of the long ones.
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00:09:25,539 --> 00:09:27,261
She can't just give it back.
248
00:09:27,291 --> 00:09:28,357
I know.
249
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:29,758
That's why I'm so upset.
250
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,627
Well, do something about it.
251
00:09:31,629 --> 00:09:34,529
Graffiti a billboard
or-or get on a talk show.
252
00:09:34,531 --> 00:09:37,199
Actually, I tried that one... sort of.
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00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,501
When we get back, we're
gonna talk to my man Xavier
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00:09:39,503 --> 00:09:41,503
about a big-ass asteroid.
255
00:09:41,505 --> 00:09:43,753
How many people
actually watch this show?
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00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:47,175
Oh, like, easily in the dozens.
257
00:09:48,946 --> 00:09:50,846
I can't believe Evie lied to me.
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00:09:50,848 --> 00:09:52,581
I didn't lie. I just didn't tell him.
259
00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:54,516
Like how you haven't told Rohan
260
00:09:54,518 --> 00:09:56,403
you're involved with Sofia.
261
00:09:56,433 --> 00:10:00,096
Deflection. Classic liar behavior.
262
00:10:00,126 --> 00:10:01,623
I haven't told Rohan yet
because I want to minimize
263
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:02,891
the pain it causes when I do.
264
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,159
Yeah, and I didn't tell Xavier
265
00:10:04,161 --> 00:10:05,694
because I knew it would hurt him.
266
00:10:05,696 --> 00:10:06,995
I wouldn't have been hurt.
267
00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:08,196
I just would've found another way
268
00:10:08,198 --> 00:10:09,364
to get the message out.
269
00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:11,405
Ah, yeah, I'm sure she'd love that.
270
00:10:11,435 --> 00:10:13,668
Who wouldn't want to
date the Grim Reaper?
271
00:10:14,938 --> 00:10:16,438
Oh.
272
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,940
That's why she didn't tell me the truth.
273
00:10:18,942 --> 00:10:20,675
When I thought I'd passed
off the responsibility
274
00:10:20,677 --> 00:10:23,578
of publicizing the asteroid to Tyra,
275
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:25,447
I guess I didn't talk about it as much.
276
00:10:25,449 --> 00:10:27,249
He stopped going on
about her all the time.
277
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,351
And it was... kind
of nice to get a break
278
00:10:29,353 --> 00:10:31,086
from all that doom and gloom.
279
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:33,388
- Bring it home.
- But it was super selfish of me
280
00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:35,790
to try to stifle his
message for my own comfort.
281
00:10:37,544 --> 00:10:40,128
I have to make it up to him.
282
00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:41,064
Okay, well, who else
283
00:10:41,094 --> 00:10:43,198
can get his message out?
284
00:10:47,456 --> 00:10:48,436
Evie.
285
00:10:48,438 --> 00:10:50,639
- Oh. Ah.
- Fern! I was just looking for Timothy.
286
00:10:50,641 --> 00:10:53,408
- So sorry. It's not a good time.
- No, no, I'm-I'm sorry,
287
00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:56,845
I don't normally answer
another person's door naked.
288
00:10:56,847 --> 00:10:58,585
I thought you were the Thai food
289
00:10:58,615 --> 00:11:00,115
delivery guy.
290
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:01,316
I-I can come back.
291
00:11:01,318 --> 00:11:02,951
No, no, no, no.
292
00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,520
Peanut? Um...
293
00:11:05,522 --> 00:11:07,122
Evie's here.
294
00:11:08,832 --> 00:11:10,125
Evie...
295
00:11:10,541 --> 00:11:12,327
Uh, you know Fern.
296
00:11:12,329 --> 00:11:14,329
And Fern, of course,
297
00:11:14,331 --> 00:11:15,364
you know Evie.
298
00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:17,966
And I know both of you, so...
299
00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:19,000
And I...
300
00:11:19,002 --> 00:11:20,969
am going to go find my clothes.
301
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:22,775
If I can find them
302
00:11:22,805 --> 00:11:25,401
'cause they came off in a hurry.
303
00:11:25,431 --> 00:11:26,842
Okay.
304
00:11:27,508 --> 00:11:28,310
I'm sorry.
305
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,150
I know you wanted to take
a friendship breather,
306
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:31,980
I just, I didn't know who else to go to.
307
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:34,449
No, i-it's totally fine, what's up?
308
00:11:34,451 --> 00:11:36,418
I screwed up big time with Xavier.
309
00:11:36,420 --> 00:11:38,788
And I kind of need your help.
310
00:11:38,818 --> 00:11:42,023
So you want me to help Xavier?
311
00:11:42,025 --> 00:11:44,131
Well, if it makes a difference,
you're actually helping me...
312
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,360
help him.
313
00:11:45,362 --> 00:11:47,629
- Mm-hmm.
- Um, so,
314
00:11:47,631 --> 00:11:49,631
Xavier has this theory.
315
00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:51,333
Kind of like a Jade
Helm thing like Hank?
316
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:53,068
Well, this is actually
a very well-researched
317
00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:54,503
scientific theory that...
318
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,071
maybe you could put a public voice to,
319
00:11:56,073 --> 00:11:58,709
or introduce him to someone who could.
320
00:11:59,292 --> 00:12:01,776
Look, I-I know it's-it's super awkward
321
00:12:01,778 --> 00:12:03,965
for me to ask my ex-boyfriend
to help my current boyfriend.
322
00:12:03,995 --> 00:12:05,345
Then again, my...
323
00:12:05,487 --> 00:12:06,948
ex-boyfriend moved on
with my ex-best friend,
324
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,917
so it's all kind of just, you know...
325
00:12:08,919 --> 00:12:10,252
Sure.
326
00:12:10,254 --> 00:12:11,753
And you and Xavier have
bonded a bit, right?
327
00:12:11,755 --> 00:12:13,894
- Yeah, yeah, we're-we're cool.
- Yeah.
328
00:12:13,924 --> 00:12:15,824
So maybe it's not too weird.
329
00:12:15,826 --> 00:12:17,492
Sure.
330
00:12:17,494 --> 00:12:18,927
Yeah, I'll-I'll hear him out.
331
00:12:18,929 --> 00:12:20,429
Thank you.
332
00:12:22,180 --> 00:12:23,179
There's still something here
333
00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:24,065
and we both know it.
334
00:12:24,067 --> 00:12:26,101
Okay, still something here.
335
00:12:26,103 --> 00:12:27,469
We can both feel it.
336
00:12:27,471 --> 00:12:28,904
It's between us.
337
00:12:28,906 --> 00:12:30,939
We know it and we feel it.
338
00:12:30,941 --> 00:12:32,240
Here we go.
339
00:12:33,944 --> 00:12:36,011
Hey!
340
00:12:36,013 --> 00:12:38,380
Okay, we have a thing.
341
00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:39,815
We got a...
342
00:12:39,817 --> 00:12:42,150
Yeah. Yeah.
343
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:44,307
We have a thing, okay?
344
00:12:44,337 --> 00:12:45,937
It's between me, you.
345
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,060
We got a thing.
346
00:12:47,090 --> 00:12:48,540
Let's do the thing.
347
00:12:50,893 --> 00:12:52,144
That was complete nonsense.
348
00:12:52,174 --> 00:12:54,395
Okay, I have real feelings for you.
349
00:12:54,397 --> 00:12:56,438
- I'm not ready for this to be over.
- Hank,
350
00:12:56,468 --> 00:12:59,300
allow me to be violently clear.
351
00:12:59,302 --> 00:13:02,070
I do not wish to be
involved with you any longer,
352
00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:06,207
as our toxic chemistry
perverted my priorities.
353
00:13:06,209 --> 00:13:08,370
I need to focus on my career
354
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,811
and my responsibilities,
355
00:13:09,813 --> 00:13:12,380
and shirk any romantic entanglements.
356
00:13:12,382 --> 00:13:13,782
Now, if you'll excuse me,
357
00:13:13,784 --> 00:13:15,450
I have a meeting.
358
00:13:19,122 --> 00:13:21,256
Pardon me, pal.
359
00:13:41,617 --> 00:13:43,520
Awfully tight in here.
360
00:13:43,647 --> 00:13:45,113
Oh!
361
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,454
Hi, I'm Evie.
362
00:13:47,484 --> 00:13:49,017
I work for CyberHugs.
363
00:13:49,019 --> 00:13:51,319
- Are you new?
- No, I'm not new, I'm swamped.
364
00:13:51,321 --> 00:13:54,088
Department downsized
by 75% in Q1 of 2016.
365
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:55,264
What's the action item?
366
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:57,025
Okay, well, there's some mysterious fee
367
00:13:57,027 --> 00:13:58,865
getting deducted from
every CyberHugs account.
368
00:13:58,895 --> 00:14:02,297
No mystery. CyberHugs
accounts are all deducted 5%.
369
00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:05,300
Paid out to Rosie Baxter & Associates.
370
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:06,568
It's not unusual for legal firms
371
00:14:06,570 --> 00:14:07,869
to charge for handling
372
00:14:07,871 --> 00:14:09,638
a charity's contracts and payroll.
373
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,806
Well, maybe I can talk them
into a flat fee instead.
374
00:14:11,808 --> 00:14:13,808
Can I get the contact info?
375
00:14:16,953 --> 00:14:20,453
You cost the company $10.53
in overtime by interrupting me.
376
00:14:20,483 --> 00:14:22,317
- Okay. Thanks.
- $11.06.
377
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:23,752
Yeah, I'll just see my way.
378
00:14:23,754 --> 00:14:25,487
Out of your hole.
379
00:14:25,517 --> 00:14:27,997
- Okay.
- $11.72.
380
00:14:28,027 --> 00:14:29,968
$12.14.
381
00:14:29,998 --> 00:14:31,687
We can't take your call right now,
382
00:14:31,717 --> 00:14:33,367
please leave a message.
383
00:14:34,559 --> 00:14:37,628
Seems informal for a law firm.
384
00:14:39,353 --> 00:14:41,503
You're talking to yourself again.
385
00:14:41,738 --> 00:14:43,905
Code Purple. Code Purple.
386
00:14:43,907 --> 00:14:45,607
Huddle up, we got a Deirdre situation!
387
00:14:47,194 --> 00:14:49,778
Okay, so, there's this...
388
00:14:49,780 --> 00:14:51,312
this guy, and then,
389
00:14:51,314 --> 00:14:53,048
he came in with f...
390
00:14:53,050 --> 00:14:54,349
Oh.
391
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:56,361
Hey. Here...
392
00:14:58,091 --> 00:14:59,320
And then, he...
393
00:14:59,322 --> 00:15:00,822
Okay.
394
00:15:00,824 --> 00:15:03,380
- I think I got that last part.
- Use your words.
395
00:15:03,410 --> 00:15:05,749
There was a guy in Deirdre's
office, and he gave her flowers
396
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,450
and then he kissed her on the cheek!
397
00:15:08,084 --> 00:15:09,319
That's my cheek!
398
00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:11,149
I kiss that cheek! That's my cheek!
399
00:15:11,151 --> 00:15:12,851
She told me no more
romantic entanglements.
400
00:15:12,853 --> 00:15:15,687
It's all about work. So
I hacked her calendar,
401
00:15:15,689 --> 00:15:17,578
and I found out she has
an appointment at 7:30.
402
00:15:17,608 --> 00:15:19,207
Tonight. In blue.
403
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:21,042
- What does that mean?
- Work appointments
404
00:15:21,044 --> 00:15:22,844
are in Cybermart green,
and personal appointments
405
00:15:22,846 --> 00:15:25,113
are in blue. It's a blue!
406
00:15:25,143 --> 00:15:26,347
It's a personal!
407
00:15:26,349 --> 00:15:27,982
She's going on a date.
408
00:15:27,984 --> 00:15:29,089
What do I do?
409
00:15:29,119 --> 00:15:31,992
- I think you have to kill him.
- Yes, that is good.
410
00:15:32,022 --> 00:15:33,210
- How?
- What?
411
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,472
Wait, no, that's bad.
412
00:15:34,474 --> 00:15:36,007
I can't, I can't do that.
413
00:15:36,009 --> 00:15:38,176
You know she's gonna
see him tonight, just...
414
00:15:38,178 --> 00:15:40,145
get in there and do some date sabotage.
415
00:15:40,147 --> 00:15:41,312
"Date sabotage."
416
00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:42,280
Trust me, I'm very good
417
00:15:42,282 --> 00:15:43,682
at destroying relationships.
418
00:15:43,684 --> 00:15:45,650
The vending machine...
419
00:15:46,197 --> 00:15:47,591
is out of nacho chips.
420
00:15:47,621 --> 00:15:49,254
_
421
00:15:59,766 --> 00:16:01,299
I did that to him.
422
00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:03,473
Parking lot at 1900 hours.
423
00:16:03,503 --> 00:16:05,122
We'll tail Deirdre when she leaves work.
424
00:16:05,152 --> 00:16:07,487
_
425
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,880
_
426
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:11,142
Evie!
427
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:12,610
- What?
- Are you in?
428
00:16:12,612 --> 00:16:14,979
No, sorry, I have too
many fires to put out.
429
00:16:19,469 --> 00:16:21,019
Oh!
430
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,092
And there you have it.
431
00:16:22,122 --> 00:16:24,138
A rather graphic
illustration of what awaits us
432
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:27,325
and why it's critically
important that we make sure
433
00:16:27,327 --> 00:16:28,793
that it's publicized.
434
00:16:29,095 --> 00:16:30,595
What do you think?
435
00:16:31,218 --> 00:16:35,628
An asteroid making contact as a
direct result of global warming?
436
00:16:36,181 --> 00:16:38,101
Clickability alone is...
437
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:41,706
But also bringing awareness
to an ecological crisis.
438
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,310
Oh, there's a big story here.
439
00:16:50,932 --> 00:16:55,024
2522 South Park.
440
00:16:55,026 --> 00:16:58,094
Okay, Rosie Baxter &
Associates, where are you?
441
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:03,499
Three...
442
00:17:08,124 --> 00:17:09,358
I'm not here right now.
443
00:17:09,388 --> 00:17:10,645
Please leave a message.
444
00:17:10,675 --> 00:17:12,560
Ha-ha. Not falling for that again.
445
00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:13,376
Hey, get this.
446
00:17:13,378 --> 00:17:15,445
Remember that legal firm, Rosie Baxter?
447
00:17:15,447 --> 00:17:18,314
I think it's a shell and
someone is swindling CyberHugs.
448
00:17:18,316 --> 00:17:19,682
- Oh, yeah...
- Yeah, the address they provided
449
00:17:19,684 --> 00:17:21,351
is for a male strip club called
450
00:17:21,353 --> 00:17:23,419
Corndogs. You know, I think
451
00:17:23,421 --> 00:17:26,022
that bizarro accountant
is greasing his own palms.
452
00:17:26,024 --> 00:17:27,858
Riveting stuff, Encyclopedia Blonde,
453
00:17:27,888 --> 00:17:29,659
but I'm in the middle
of a date sabotage, so...
454
00:17:29,661 --> 00:17:31,361
Okay, get off the phone. We got to move.
455
00:17:31,363 --> 00:17:32,629
Falcon out!
456
00:17:51,549 --> 00:17:54,083
All right, everyone.
Since we'll be seeing
457
00:17:54,085 --> 00:17:57,892
a lot of ballroom styles
at the competition tomorrow,
458
00:17:57,922 --> 00:17:59,721
we're going to learn something
459
00:17:59,723 --> 00:18:01,529
a little different tonight.
460
00:18:01,559 --> 00:18:05,561
It's called a Regency dance.
461
00:18:05,563 --> 00:18:07,662
- Okay.
- Stand across from your partner.
462
00:18:07,692 --> 00:18:09,680
- What? No...
- Put your right hand up.
463
00:18:09,710 --> 00:18:10,933
Where are you going?
464
00:18:10,935 --> 00:18:13,135
I'm going undercover to
do some date sabotage.
465
00:18:13,137 --> 00:18:14,403
But we don't have disguises.
466
00:18:14,405 --> 00:18:16,372
Oh! We've been spotted.
467
00:18:16,374 --> 00:18:18,249
Yeah, because we don't have disguises.
468
00:18:18,279 --> 00:18:21,277
- Okay, just act natural.
- Come in!
469
00:18:21,855 --> 00:18:23,673
Come in. We don't bite.
470
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,014
I do.
471
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:26,816
At-at dancing.
472
00:18:26,818 --> 00:18:29,953
That's why we're all here.
473
00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,721
To learn dancing.
474
00:18:31,723 --> 00:18:33,422
- Take it down a notch.
- Okay.
475
00:18:36,995 --> 00:18:38,694
I mean, we'll have to-to vet the math,
476
00:18:38,696 --> 00:18:40,396
which could take some time, but, uh...
477
00:18:40,398 --> 00:18:42,164
No one cares about the math, bro.
478
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,165
No?
479
00:18:43,167 --> 00:18:44,300
"Bro"?
480
00:18:44,302 --> 00:18:46,435
The math isn't your story.
481
00:18:46,437 --> 00:18:48,404
This Xavier guy is.
482
00:18:48,406 --> 00:18:50,630
"An Astronomical Delusion.
483
00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:53,431
Inside the Mind of a Doomsday Tripper."
484
00:18:53,461 --> 00:18:54,594
- You get it.
- Ah...
485
00:18:54,596 --> 00:18:56,729
Make it punchy, make it splashy.
486
00:18:56,731 --> 00:19:00,600
S-S... uh, so you just...
you just want a-a hit piece?
487
00:19:01,710 --> 00:19:04,704
Wh-What if his theory
actually checks out?
488
00:19:04,706 --> 00:19:06,139
Come on, bro.
489
00:19:06,141 --> 00:19:08,775
The Mayans, Nostradamus,
490
00:19:08,777 --> 00:19:11,144
the Book of Revelations, Y2K.
491
00:19:11,146 --> 00:19:14,247
When's the last time an
apocalypse theory was right?
492
00:19:14,249 --> 00:19:16,149
Well, I mean, we're all still here.
493
00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:18,897
So, uh, never.
494
00:19:18,927 --> 00:19:20,052
That's not your story.
495
00:19:20,054 --> 00:19:21,487
Xavier is.
496
00:19:23,558 --> 00:19:24,565
- Here's the plan,
- Okay, everyone...
497
00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:26,259
I'm gonna test the waters with Deirdre.
498
00:19:26,289 --> 00:19:28,526
You seduce the cowboy.
499
00:19:28,556 --> 00:19:29,897
Consider it done.
500
00:19:29,927 --> 00:19:31,731
- Gentlemen over there.
- Okay, yes.
501
00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:33,565
Gentleman on the other.
502
00:19:33,595 --> 00:19:35,735
All right. Very good.
503
00:19:37,161 --> 00:19:39,405
And... music.
504
00:19:42,002 --> 00:19:42,909
You certainly are
505
00:19:42,911 --> 00:19:44,644
light on your feet there, Tex.
506
00:19:44,646 --> 00:19:47,413
Thank you, little lady. Much obliged.
507
00:19:49,284 --> 00:19:51,389
Did you follow me here?
508
00:19:51,419 --> 00:19:53,819
I thought you said you
were done with romance.
509
00:19:53,821 --> 00:19:55,443
Who's the cowboy?
510
00:19:55,473 --> 00:19:57,612
My dance partner.
511
00:19:58,215 --> 00:19:59,542
I, uh,
512
00:19:59,544 --> 00:20:01,377
saw you earlier at Didi's
workplace, didn't I?
513
00:20:03,314 --> 00:20:04,580
Did you?
514
00:20:04,582 --> 00:20:06,282
You know, all this antiquated,
515
00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,350
sexually repressed dancing's
516
00:20:08,352 --> 00:20:10,252
really getting my motor revving.
517
00:20:10,254 --> 00:20:12,421
My, you got more ten-dollar words
518
00:20:12,423 --> 00:20:15,090
than my Aunt Ruthie.
519
00:20:16,239 --> 00:20:17,398
Dance partners don't usually
520
00:20:17,428 --> 00:20:19,061
kiss each other.
521
00:20:19,063 --> 00:20:20,663
We have history.
522
00:20:20,665 --> 00:20:23,366
What say you ditch your date
and we go back to my place
523
00:20:23,368 --> 00:20:26,602
and test out those hog-tying skills.
524
00:20:26,604 --> 00:20:28,371
Well, with all due respect, ma'am, uh,
525
00:20:28,373 --> 00:20:30,906
I think I'm gonna leave
with the lady I came in with.
526
00:20:30,908 --> 00:20:34,110
My wife's got me bit like a rattlesnake.
527
00:20:36,743 --> 00:20:38,547
He called Deirdre his wife.
528
00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:40,449
What the what?
529
00:20:43,588 --> 00:20:45,087
Deirdre's your wife?
530
00:20:45,089 --> 00:20:47,089
Uh, well, uh, if we're
splitting hairs about it,
531
00:20:47,091 --> 00:20:48,546
she's my ex-wife.
532
00:20:48,576 --> 00:20:50,142
Uh, the name is Re-Pete.
533
00:20:50,144 --> 00:20:51,444
That's a nickname that Didi gave me
534
00:20:51,446 --> 00:20:52,645
on account of my name's Pete
535
00:20:52,647 --> 00:20:54,313
and she married me twice.
536
00:20:56,081 --> 00:20:57,783
So I get dismissed
after one disagreement,
537
00:20:57,785 --> 00:21:00,019
but this guy gets to marry you twice?
538
00:21:00,021 --> 00:21:01,787
It's complicated.
539
00:21:01,789 --> 00:21:03,055
It's simple. See,
540
00:21:03,057 --> 00:21:04,357
she, uh, takes a shine to me
541
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,092
when we win these dance competitions.
542
00:21:06,094 --> 00:21:07,159
We've won twice
543
00:21:07,161 --> 00:21:08,661
and she married twice.
544
00:21:08,663 --> 00:21:10,596
She's the one that got away.
545
00:21:10,598 --> 00:21:12,131
Twice.
546
00:21:13,708 --> 00:21:16,369
I reckon you're a little sweet
on my lady friend, friend.
547
00:21:16,371 --> 00:21:19,639
Well, I reckon you need to get
back to your cow patch, cowboy!
548
00:21:19,641 --> 00:21:21,941
Oh, I'm not going anywhere.
549
00:21:21,943 --> 00:21:24,744
In fact, you might want to
start calling me Three-Pete,
550
00:21:24,746 --> 00:21:27,280
'cause, uh, we're gonna
win that dance competition
551
00:21:27,282 --> 00:21:29,982
and Didi will be mine again.
552
00:21:29,984 --> 00:21:31,017
Again.
553
00:21:33,908 --> 00:21:35,288
We need to enter this dance-off.
554
00:21:35,290 --> 00:21:36,661
We need to win!
555
00:21:36,691 --> 00:21:38,257
Oh, for Pete's sake.
556
00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:41,861
Fern? Hey, um,
557
00:21:41,863 --> 00:21:44,030
you know Anthony, the accountant?
558
00:21:44,833 --> 00:21:46,332
His office just looks like a...
559
00:21:46,334 --> 00:21:48,267
big stack of boxes from the outside?
560
00:21:48,269 --> 00:21:49,414
You know...
561
00:21:49,444 --> 00:21:51,201
"What's the action item"
562
00:21:51,231 --> 00:21:52,305
Oh, yeah.
563
00:21:52,307 --> 00:21:54,811
"You just cost this company $1.50."
564
00:21:54,841 --> 00:21:56,442
Yeah, that guy.
565
00:21:56,444 --> 00:21:57,855
Well, I think he's...
566
00:21:59,714 --> 00:22:01,414
Oh, is that one of the therapy animals?
567
00:22:01,416 --> 00:22:02,648
No,
568
00:22:02,997 --> 00:22:04,784
Best Pals rescue.
569
00:22:07,222 --> 00:22:08,588
Baxter.
570
00:22:08,590 --> 00:22:11,757
He was rescued from a
hurricane in Vanuatu.
571
00:22:14,175 --> 00:22:15,328
Like Rosie.
572
00:22:15,330 --> 00:22:16,295
Baxter.
573
00:22:16,297 --> 00:22:19,098
Paid out to Rosie Baxter and Associates.
574
00:22:19,100 --> 00:22:20,540
_
575
00:22:20,728 --> 00:22:21,801
_
576
00:22:21,803 --> 00:22:23,336
_
577
00:22:23,338 --> 00:22:24,804
_
578
00:22:24,806 --> 00:22:26,611
_
579
00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:28,602
It's you.
580
00:22:28,632 --> 00:22:31,216
You're embezzling from CyberHugs.
581
00:22:31,792 --> 00:22:33,626
Fernburglar.
582
00:22:35,591 --> 00:22:39,497
Evie, "embezzling"
is such a strong word.
583
00:22:39,527 --> 00:22:41,027
Embezzling.
584
00:22:41,029 --> 00:22:42,166
See?
585
00:22:42,196 --> 00:22:43,681
You're not denying it.
586
00:22:43,711 --> 00:22:45,431
Look, money talks.
587
00:22:45,433 --> 00:22:48,100
When I first started, I couldn't
get anyone to listen to me.
588
00:22:48,102 --> 00:22:50,135
Excuse me, ma'am, do
you have three minutes
589
00:22:50,137 --> 00:22:52,638
to talk about black-footed ferrets?
590
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,507
They're dying every day!
591
00:22:54,509 --> 00:22:58,338
But once I got some designer
clothes and a fresh blow-out,
592
00:22:58,368 --> 00:23:01,113
people actually wanted to
hear what I have to say.
593
00:23:01,115 --> 00:23:02,648
Presentation matters.
594
00:23:02,650 --> 00:23:03,949
It's a superficial world.
595
00:23:03,951 --> 00:23:04,984
You should know that.
596
00:23:04,986 --> 00:23:06,385
What, me?
597
00:23:06,387 --> 00:23:08,087
Being a "volleyball Barbie"
598
00:23:08,089 --> 00:23:10,456
got you into a different social circle.
599
00:23:10,458 --> 00:23:12,057
It's how the game is played.
600
00:23:12,059 --> 00:23:14,026
Well, you're playing it illegally.
601
00:23:14,028 --> 00:23:16,829
That's a bit reductive.
Last year, I brought in...
602
00:23:16,831 --> 00:23:21,600
$200,000 in donations to Best Pals.
603
00:23:21,602 --> 00:23:25,170
What I do for this charity is essential.
604
00:23:25,656 --> 00:23:28,574
Think about how it will affect
the animals if you turn me in.
605
00:23:28,576 --> 00:23:30,309
I'm not gonna turn you in.
606
00:23:30,311 --> 00:23:31,577
Good.
607
00:23:31,949 --> 00:23:33,279
I'm not gonna turn you in,
608
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,648
because you're gonna do the right thing.
609
00:23:35,650 --> 00:23:38,017
And I'm gonna do the kind thing...
610
00:23:38,019 --> 00:23:41,687
the friend thing... and give
you time to make it right.
611
00:23:41,689 --> 00:23:43,656
Give the money back by tomorrow
612
00:23:43,658 --> 00:23:45,324
or I go to Deirdre.
613
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,902
See, they all have some
sort of big Dirty Dancing
614
00:23:56,904 --> 00:23:58,337
"wow" moment at the end.
615
00:23:58,339 --> 00:23:59,672
I've never seen that movie.
616
00:23:59,674 --> 00:24:01,173
Dirty Dancing?
617
00:24:01,175 --> 00:24:02,675
- Mm.
- Are you dead?
618
00:24:02,677 --> 00:24:04,677
Inside, yes.
619
00:24:04,679 --> 00:24:06,178
And I like it that way.
620
00:24:06,470 --> 00:24:07,413
My point is,
621
00:24:07,415 --> 00:24:08,881
is that we need some sort of lift
622
00:24:08,883 --> 00:24:11,650
or flourish to really
give the judges that "wow".
623
00:24:11,652 --> 00:24:12,651
Ooh, ooh, see.
624
00:24:12,653 --> 00:24:13,786
Like this.
625
00:24:13,788 --> 00:24:15,688
We can probably pull that one off.
626
00:24:15,690 --> 00:24:19,158
Oh, that reminds me, I think
Rohan's moved on to Stage 3.
627
00:24:21,862 --> 00:24:23,696
- Come on.
- _
628
00:24:25,666 --> 00:24:27,333
Oh, yes! Two more stages
629
00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:28,968
and I can break the news to him.
630
00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:30,202
Ooh, see. Ooh, ooh, look.
631
00:24:30,204 --> 00:24:31,570
See that?
632
00:24:31,572 --> 00:24:32,805
That's easy.
633
00:24:32,807 --> 00:24:34,209
- We got this.
- We got that.
634
00:24:41,337 --> 00:24:42,581
What?
635
00:24:55,033 --> 00:24:56,929
That's... that's good!
636
00:24:57,662 --> 00:24:59,832
Thank you again for hearing Xavier out.
637
00:24:59,834 --> 00:25:01,021
Yeah, that's... that's
638
00:25:01,051 --> 00:25:03,841
why I wanted to meet, actually.
639
00:25:04,326 --> 00:25:05,604
So, my editor
640
00:25:05,606 --> 00:25:07,873
wants to play a different angle
641
00:25:07,875 --> 00:25:08,996
on the story.
642
00:25:09,026 --> 00:25:10,648
What kind of angle?
643
00:25:10,678 --> 00:25:14,914
Oh, you know, she really
wants to hit the whole...
644
00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:17,905
unhinged conspiracy theorist angle.
645
00:25:17,935 --> 00:25:19,151
"Unhinged"?
646
00:25:19,153 --> 00:25:20,753
Stories sometimes shift.
647
00:25:20,755 --> 00:25:23,589
But that's not a shift,
648
00:25:23,591 --> 00:25:24,657
that's an attack.
649
00:25:24,659 --> 00:25:26,417
You-you can't write it.
650
00:25:26,447 --> 00:25:27,860
Well, I can't just abandon it.
651
00:25:27,862 --> 00:25:29,261
I've got real momentum right now.
652
00:25:29,263 --> 00:25:30,362
Oh, my God.
653
00:25:30,364 --> 00:25:31,764
You want to write the story.
654
00:25:31,766 --> 00:25:33,583
- What?
- Because you're jealous.
655
00:25:33,613 --> 00:25:34,633
Seriously?
656
00:25:34,635 --> 00:25:35,746
You really think I'm that petty?
657
00:25:35,776 --> 00:25:38,237
Well, you can't wait
to smear my boyfriend.
658
00:25:38,239 --> 00:25:39,605
Honestly, I couldn't
dig up enough on Xavier
659
00:25:39,607 --> 00:25:40,906
to do that if I wanted to.
660
00:25:40,908 --> 00:25:43,008
There's nothing out there on him.
661
00:25:43,010 --> 00:25:45,037
How well do you really know the guy?
662
00:25:45,067 --> 00:25:46,545
Well, how well do you know Fern?
663
00:25:46,547 --> 00:25:48,964
What does she have to do with it?
664
00:25:48,994 --> 00:25:50,162
Never mind.
665
00:25:50,192 --> 00:25:52,053
No. Now you're being petty.
666
00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:53,819
You know what, you want
to service your career
667
00:25:53,821 --> 00:25:54,820
and hurt me in the process,
668
00:25:54,822 --> 00:25:56,221
then I guess I just...
669
00:25:56,223 --> 00:25:57,756
I don't know you as
well as I thought I did.
670
00:25:57,758 --> 00:26:00,693
Well, if you want to
accuse me of being someone
671
00:26:00,695 --> 00:26:03,162
that would do something
that would make me someone
672
00:26:03,164 --> 00:26:05,197
who you didn't think I was,
673
00:26:05,199 --> 00:26:08,467
you know, then maybe I don't
know you that well, either.
674
00:26:08,469 --> 00:26:09,568
Huh?
675
00:26:09,570 --> 00:26:11,870
N-Nothing.
676
00:26:11,872 --> 00:26:13,806
I'm mad.
677
00:26:13,808 --> 00:26:15,005
Good-bye.
678
00:26:17,611 --> 00:26:18,777
I'm sorry. I...
679
00:26:18,779 --> 00:26:20,012
I wanted to make it up to you
680
00:26:20,014 --> 00:26:21,146
and I thought Timothy would help.
681
00:26:21,148 --> 00:26:23,849
But he's just making it a hatchet job.
682
00:26:23,851 --> 00:26:25,451
Well, that's all right.
683
00:26:25,453 --> 00:26:26,518
Some people might read the article
684
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,598
and think I'm crazy, but...
685
00:26:28,628 --> 00:26:31,156
other people might be
intrigued enough to investigate.
686
00:26:31,158 --> 00:26:32,991
People can be very suggestible.
687
00:26:34,528 --> 00:26:35,694
What?
688
00:26:35,696 --> 00:26:37,296
"Suggestible."
689
00:26:38,733 --> 00:26:40,799
I know how to get your message out.
690
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:47,910
Hey.
691
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,144
Hey.
692
00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:50,078
Hey.
693
00:26:50,362 --> 00:26:51,271
Hey.
694
00:26:51,301 --> 00:26:52,709
What are you looking at?
695
00:26:52,711 --> 00:26:54,444
Stage 4.
696
00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:56,179
Oh, gosh, Rohan.
697
00:26:56,181 --> 00:26:57,347
Is that Peggy?
698
00:26:57,349 --> 00:26:58,548
Yes.
699
00:26:58,578 --> 00:26:59,765
_
700
00:27:00,113 --> 00:27:01,384
I need a favor.
701
00:27:01,386 --> 00:27:02,485
You've come to the right place.
702
00:27:02,487 --> 00:27:04,020
I've been putting out fires everywhere.
703
00:27:04,022 --> 00:27:06,189
Most recently, the one in Peggy's loins.
704
00:27:08,009 --> 00:27:10,293
I need access to The Suggestibles.
705
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:12,429
I thought you'd never ask.
706
00:27:12,431 --> 00:27:14,063
- Come, come.
- Okay.
707
00:27:15,734 --> 00:27:17,167
Is this legal?
708
00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:18,396
Well, they all clicked the little box
709
00:27:18,426 --> 00:27:19,648
approving third party spamming,
710
00:27:19,678 --> 00:27:23,106
so, yeah, it's... it's totally legal.
711
00:27:23,108 --> 00:27:24,441
Sad face.
712
00:27:24,443 --> 00:27:26,609
I e-mail blasted them all suggesting
713
00:27:26,611 --> 00:27:29,380
they attend an
"inspirational event" today
714
00:27:29,410 --> 00:27:31,181
that promises to
715
00:27:31,183 --> 00:27:33,016
"change their lives."
716
00:27:33,018 --> 00:27:35,452
Perfect. We'll bring the masses to us.
717
00:27:35,454 --> 00:27:37,020
Okay. Get your
718
00:27:37,022 --> 00:27:38,443
globes and kerosene.
719
00:27:38,473 --> 00:27:41,496
Uh... no, I absolutely
won't be doing that.
720
00:27:41,526 --> 00:27:43,993
What? Why not? People deserve the truth.
721
00:27:43,995 --> 00:27:45,612
- You've always said that.
- Yeah, but look
722
00:27:45,642 --> 00:27:47,664
what happened when I set
fire to a globe with Timothy.
723
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,667
The takeaway was
"unhinged conspiracy guy."
724
00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:52,102
And look at you.
725
00:27:52,104 --> 00:27:53,970
You didn't tell me
Tyra tossed my research,
726
00:27:53,972 --> 00:27:55,839
because you liked that I was backing off
727
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:58,708
the whole "end is
nigh" talk, didn't you?
728
00:27:59,911 --> 00:28:02,145
Yeah, it's, it's a lot to take.
729
00:28:02,147 --> 00:28:03,546
And I get it, which is why
730
00:28:03,548 --> 00:28:04,820
I'm not gonna tell a bunch of strangers
731
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:06,216
they're gonna be obliterated
732
00:28:06,218 --> 00:28:09,024
by a fiery ball of iron and silicate.
733
00:28:09,706 --> 00:28:11,810
'Cause this whole thing
isn't about doom and gloom.
734
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,697
It's about embracing life.
735
00:28:15,186 --> 00:28:17,763
So, I'll tell them the truth.
736
00:28:17,793 --> 00:28:21,265
I'm just gonna soften the
blow with two little words.
737
00:28:21,295 --> 00:28:22,399
What if
738
00:28:22,401 --> 00:28:26,269
I tried a reverse phone look-up?
739
00:28:26,271 --> 00:28:29,139
Hey, Peanut, I need to ask
you something important.
740
00:28:29,141 --> 00:28:30,907
Mm-hmm.
741
00:28:30,909 --> 00:28:33,410
Theoretically...
742
00:28:33,892 --> 00:28:35,812
if I had been dishonest,
743
00:28:35,814 --> 00:28:38,948
but I made up for it
and did the right thing,
744
00:28:39,278 --> 00:28:42,385
would you still want to be with me?
745
00:28:42,780 --> 00:28:44,921
I-I'm sorry. I wasn't
listening. I was just
746
00:28:44,923 --> 00:28:46,656
researching Evie's boyfriend.
747
00:28:46,658 --> 00:28:48,656
It's a long story,
748
00:28:48,686 --> 00:28:51,336
but it's taken a bit
of a disturbing turn.
749
00:28:52,132 --> 00:28:54,952
You're probably never
gonna get over her, are you?
750
00:28:54,982 --> 00:28:57,934
Yeah, it's really interesting.
751
00:28:58,905 --> 00:29:00,607
'Cause I...
752
00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:04,174
Academic journals.
753
00:29:04,407 --> 00:29:07,177
Does he have a PhD?
754
00:29:07,553 --> 00:29:09,779
What was his dissertation?
755
00:29:12,651 --> 00:29:15,285
Academic records.
756
00:29:15,856 --> 00:29:19,233
Hey, do you know if student
records are always sealed?
757
00:29:20,654 --> 00:29:22,180
Fernie?
758
00:29:36,269 --> 00:29:38,179
I can't believe I'm wearing fringe.
759
00:29:38,209 --> 00:29:40,209
What even is my life right now?
760
00:29:40,211 --> 00:29:42,779
- You think we're gonna win?
- No.
761
00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:44,547
- Do you?
- Hell, yes!
762
00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:46,115
Contestants 109 are up next.
763
00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:48,023
Oh, I can't even taste
the vodka in this.
764
00:29:48,053 --> 00:29:49,753
- Oh, let's go.
- Okay.
765
00:30:41,573 --> 00:30:43,139
Yeah!
766
00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:44,579
We got a nine!
767
00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:46,698
Yes! We got a nine!
768
00:30:46,728 --> 00:30:48,545
Yeah, yeah. It's out of 30.
769
00:30:48,907 --> 00:30:50,248
- What?
- Okay, let's...
770
00:30:50,278 --> 00:30:54,034
Contestants 137, you're up.
771
00:30:57,078 --> 00:30:58,705
Oh.
772
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:02,564
Showtime!
773
00:31:16,780 --> 00:31:18,441
Here comes the Three-Pete.
774
00:31:21,114 --> 00:31:22,312
I'm done for.
775
00:31:31,851 --> 00:31:33,957
Kareema, where you going?
776
00:31:59,261 --> 00:32:03,386
♪ Is waiting for the sunrise ♪
777
00:32:03,872 --> 00:32:08,024
♪ Every little rosebud ♪
778
00:32:08,026 --> 00:32:09,659
Oh, damn!
779
00:32:09,661 --> 00:32:11,195
Kareema, you made it even more romantic.
780
00:32:11,225 --> 00:32:15,165
- I know. I'm sorry.
- ♪ I'm calling ♪
781
00:32:15,167 --> 00:32:18,401
♪ You. ♪
782
00:32:19,705 --> 00:32:21,404
Thank you.
783
00:32:22,808 --> 00:32:24,908
I don't even need to wait for our score.
784
00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:27,711
With you by my side, I'm always winning.
785
00:32:29,238 --> 00:32:33,755
Didi, you delicious
glass of sweet tea...
786
00:32:34,222 --> 00:32:35,585
will you make me
787
00:32:35,587 --> 00:32:36,753
the happiest man in the world
788
00:32:36,755 --> 00:32:38,521
for the third time,
789
00:32:38,523 --> 00:32:40,357
and re-marry me again?
790
00:32:42,527 --> 00:32:44,327
I accept your proposition.
791
00:32:49,915 --> 00:32:52,335
What if I told you the world was ending?
792
00:32:52,337 --> 00:32:54,377
What if I said that an asteroid
793
00:32:54,407 --> 00:32:56,611
was headed directly for
Earth in six months time?
794
00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:59,643
What would you change about your lives?
795
00:32:59,645 --> 00:33:02,912
I know it sounds like
a bizarre hypothetical,
796
00:33:02,914 --> 00:33:06,557
but what if... what if it were true?
797
00:33:06,587 --> 00:33:08,723
What if you gave yourself permission
798
00:33:08,753 --> 00:33:11,168
to seize the day?
799
00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:13,248
What might your life look like?
800
00:33:14,192 --> 00:33:18,795
I would implore you to
embrace that "what if."
801
00:33:18,797 --> 00:33:20,596
What are your wildest dreams?
802
00:33:20,598 --> 00:33:22,465
What are your deepest fears that you...
803
00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:24,050
that you wish you could overcome?
804
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,602
Be honest with yourself about what it is
805
00:33:26,604 --> 00:33:30,245
that you would change about your life.
806
00:33:30,275 --> 00:33:31,875
When you have your "what if,"
807
00:33:31,877 --> 00:33:34,377
grab a piece of chalk and write it down.
808
00:33:34,379 --> 00:33:37,380
You're making a promise to yourself
809
00:33:37,382 --> 00:33:39,349
that you're gonna do it.
810
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,454
So go on, grab a piece of chalk.
811
00:33:44,838 --> 00:33:46,489
What would you do
812
00:33:46,491 --> 00:33:48,958
if you only had six months left?
813
00:34:02,115 --> 00:34:03,840
There we go.
814
00:34:03,842 --> 00:34:05,675
Well done, mate.
815
00:34:10,802 --> 00:34:13,905
_
816
00:34:30,065 --> 00:34:33,266
_
817
00:34:33,268 --> 00:34:36,670
_
818
00:34:36,672 --> 00:34:39,406
_
819
00:34:54,230 --> 00:34:56,542
- "Tell my parents that I'm gay."
- "Punch someone in the face"
820
00:34:56,572 --> 00:34:57,910
"Lick an hallucinogenic toad."
821
00:34:57,940 --> 00:34:59,206
- I didn't see that one.
- No?
822
00:34:59,208 --> 00:35:00,341
It was right there
in, like, orange caps.
823
00:35:00,343 --> 00:35:02,251
Oh. You know, you were right
824
00:35:02,281 --> 00:35:03,444
to soften the truth for those people,
825
00:35:03,446 --> 00:35:04,645
but for us, from now on, let's just say
826
00:35:04,647 --> 00:35:06,246
complete and brutal honesty
827
00:35:06,248 --> 00:35:07,681
is our relationship policy.
828
00:35:07,683 --> 00:35:10,245
Right. I agree.
Full-time honesty scones.
829
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:11,790
Okay, here goes, I cheated
830
00:35:11,820 --> 00:35:13,120
on a second grade spelling test
831
00:35:13,122 --> 00:35:14,321
and never told anyone about it.
832
00:35:14,323 --> 00:35:15,489
Scandalous!
833
00:35:15,491 --> 00:35:16,690
Well, what was the word?
834
00:35:16,692 --> 00:35:19,059
- Irreconcilable.
- "Irreconcilable"?
835
00:35:19,061 --> 00:35:21,461
Well, that's far too
hard for second grade.
836
00:35:21,463 --> 00:35:23,430
But I appreciate you
sharing your shame with me.
837
00:35:23,432 --> 00:35:24,765
Mm. What about you?
838
00:35:24,767 --> 00:35:26,767
Any burning confessions to make?
839
00:35:26,769 --> 00:35:31,204
What, you mean, apart
from my Gene Kelly fantasy?
840
00:35:31,206 --> 00:35:33,140
Oh, oh, oh!
841
00:35:33,829 --> 00:35:35,609
Whoa.
842
00:36:33,335 --> 00:36:34,635
Where you headed?
843
00:36:34,637 --> 00:36:36,737
Uh, to find Fernberger. Why?
844
00:36:37,171 --> 00:36:38,906
- Ah, stage 5.
- Uh-huh.
845
00:36:38,908 --> 00:36:41,675
I got Rohan a Zap Strap.
846
00:36:41,677 --> 00:36:43,775
Grief process complete. I'm home-free.
847
00:36:43,805 --> 00:36:45,846
I can come clean about
Sofia without crushing him.
848
00:36:45,848 --> 00:36:47,548
I'm glad. For both of you.
849
00:36:47,550 --> 00:36:49,850
- Yeah.
- Good luck.
850
00:36:49,852 --> 00:36:52,024
Oh, hey, if you're heading
to Fernburger, will you get me
851
00:36:52,054 --> 00:36:53,920
one of those doubles with
facon and vegan cheese?
852
00:36:53,922 --> 00:36:56,856
No, it's a different...
different Fernberger.
853
00:36:56,858 --> 00:36:58,425
Oh, and some radish fries.
854
00:36:58,427 --> 00:37:00,093
Different Fernberger!
855
00:37:13,838 --> 00:37:16,476
Evie, you were right.
856
00:37:16,478 --> 00:37:17,811
What I did was wrong,
857
00:37:17,813 --> 00:37:20,413
and I dressed it up as nobility.
858
00:37:20,415 --> 00:37:21,815
If I were a stronger person,
859
00:37:21,817 --> 00:37:23,883
maybe I could stay and make it right.
860
00:37:23,885 --> 00:37:25,705
But the truth is, I'm not ready
861
00:37:25,735 --> 00:37:28,021
to accept the
consequences of my actions,
862
00:37:28,023 --> 00:37:29,377
and by the time you get this,
863
00:37:29,407 --> 00:37:32,158
I will be halfway to
Uruguay to get back in touch
864
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,628
with what I love...
saving kittens from floods.
865
00:37:35,630 --> 00:37:38,098
Best, Fern.
866
00:37:38,100 --> 00:37:41,139
P.S. Enjoy the alpaca scarf.
867
00:37:41,169 --> 00:37:43,776
Don't worry, I used my own money.
868
00:37:43,806 --> 00:37:46,706
She really pulled the
wool over our eyes.
869
00:37:46,708 --> 00:37:49,176
There are missing funds
that we cannot account for.
870
00:37:49,178 --> 00:37:51,812
And there is an accountant
that we cannot account for.
871
00:37:51,814 --> 00:37:53,380
He seems to have quit, too.
872
00:37:53,382 --> 00:37:55,582
Oh, wow.
873
00:37:55,584 --> 00:37:57,818
Yeah. Wow.
874
00:37:58,233 --> 00:38:01,321
And without Fern's skilled
money-raising efforts,
875
00:38:01,323 --> 00:38:04,224
the program may be in jeopardy.
876
00:38:04,226 --> 00:38:06,899
You are now manning a sinking ship.
877
00:38:08,442 --> 00:38:10,463
Good luck.
878
00:38:17,246 --> 00:38:19,339
You lied to me.
879
00:38:19,341 --> 00:38:22,141
Said you only had room
for work in your life.
880
00:38:30,309 --> 00:38:33,186
So what's the truth?
881
00:38:33,188 --> 00:38:35,627
You just don't have feelings for me?
882
00:38:36,429 --> 00:38:40,160
We had powerful chemistry.
883
00:38:40,162 --> 00:38:43,363
But during the strike,
you didn't stand by me,
884
00:38:43,365 --> 00:38:46,066
and that hurt my...
885
00:38:46,068 --> 00:38:49,402
my feelings more than I expected.
886
00:38:50,505 --> 00:38:53,106
If I continued down a road with you
887
00:38:53,108 --> 00:38:55,308
into emotional territory,
888
00:38:55,310 --> 00:38:57,711
then it would be
exponentially more painful
889
00:38:57,713 --> 00:38:59,246
if you rejected me.
890
00:39:01,183 --> 00:39:04,784
So the possibility of rejection
891
00:39:04,786 --> 00:39:07,292
made you reject me?
892
00:39:07,670 --> 00:39:11,825
I exercise risk management
in all aspects of life.
893
00:39:15,350 --> 00:39:18,632
I think that's the stupidest
thing you've ever said.
894
00:39:20,435 --> 00:39:22,969
I appreciate your honesty, Hank.
895
00:40:16,321 --> 00:40:17,424
I'm so sorry
896
00:40:17,426 --> 00:40:18,491
about Fern.
897
00:40:18,493 --> 00:40:19,693
Sounds like she wasn't
898
00:40:19,695 --> 00:40:20,794
who we thought she was.
899
00:40:20,796 --> 00:40:21,733
No.
900
00:40:21,763 --> 00:40:23,745
And you deserve better.
901
00:40:23,775 --> 00:40:25,497
So do you.
902
00:40:25,527 --> 00:40:26,600
Uh, which is why
903
00:40:26,602 --> 00:40:29,241
I wanted you to see this.
904
00:40:29,492 --> 00:40:31,805
I won't publish this
without your consent.
905
00:40:32,130 --> 00:40:34,407
What are you talking about?
906
00:40:36,012 --> 00:40:38,511
I-I never intended to
make Xavier look crazy.
907
00:40:38,799 --> 00:40:40,113
I went looking for his credentials
908
00:40:40,115 --> 00:40:43,950
to legitimize him, but...
909
00:40:43,952 --> 00:40:46,358
Uh, just read it.
910
00:40:48,329 --> 00:40:51,430
He's not who he says he is.
911
00:40:51,929 --> 00:40:54,561
His name isn't even Xavier Holliday.
912
00:40:54,591 --> 00:40:56,421
_
913
00:40:58,015 --> 00:41:00,033
Hamish Stegner.
914
00:41:01,245 --> 00:41:02,969
Oh, my God.
915
00:41:10,548 --> 00:41:11,945
Hey.
916
00:41:15,177 --> 00:41:16,616
Who the hell are you?
917
00:41:16,646 --> 00:41:20,811
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