All language subtitles for NCIS.Los.Angeles.S07E05

♪

Thank you.
Have a good day.

Thank you.

We've landed, sir.

We've arrived in
Los Angeles, sir.

Excuse me, sir.

Hello?

Sir?

Can you hear me?

I'm sorry.
You were sound asleep.

We've landed.

Thank you.

Let's go.

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Thank you, sir.

Supposed to be somebody here
from NCIS here to get him.

Nobody here yet.

Take the hat off,
look into the camera

and place your right hand
on the scanner.

Take your hand off the scanner.

Try again.

Is there a problem?

Biometrics don't match.
This isn't his passport.

Of course it's his passport.

Look.

Then you got the wrong guy.

Wait.
Who the hell are you?

♪ NCIS: LA 7x05 ♪
Blame It On Rio
Original Air Date on October 19, 2015

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Deeks.

What are you doing in there?
Hurry up.

Geez, it's like he's
shaving his legs or something.

Is there a, uh,
is there a problem?

Yeah, the problem is my partner
takes longer

than the average
Kardashian to get ready.

Well, you, uh,
you need a workout partner?

What?
Really?

Yeah.

You want to... You, um, you
want to be a part of this?

Yeah, I want
to be a part of this.

Daddy wants
to be a part of this.

Let's do this.

You okay?

Yeah. Not exactly
what I had in mind, but...

Oh. Do you, uh,
think I should I be wearing

some kind
of protective headgear?

Want me to kick you
in the head?

Not particularly.
Okay.

Oh, Lord.

Christmas
came early.

Samuel. Sam-dawg.

Hey. You know,
we're just finishing up.

So you guys, uh, you can...

Oh, no, no, no.
I want to play Whack-a-Beale.

Yeah. Kensi?

You wanted to train with us.
This is training with us.

I do-I do want to train
with you, but, you know,

I just reali...
that, um, Granger wants me

up in Ops.
Oh, no, come here.

No, no, Kensi. Oh.
Come on.

You can do it.
Y... Okay.

Eric.
Come on, come on, ten minutes.

Hey, come on.

That was mean.
Oh, no.

That was fun.

Where's Deeks?

Deeks has been in the locker
room for about half an hour now.

I'm sorry I asked.

Where's Callen?

He had something to do
with Joelle, apparently.

Ooh.
Do I sense trouble in paradise?

I don't know.

Just got a bad feeling
it's gonna happen.

Why do you say that?
You don't like her?

Oh, no, I like her.
I actually set them up.

Now I'm wondering
if it was a mistake.

Aw. You starting to miss him?
Huh?

Oh, don't tell me
he's putting hos before bros.

How many relationships
have you had

that worked out
while doing this?

Well, there was, uh...

Oh, no, he
wasn't... Um...

Yeah.

Exactly.

I like Joelle,
so does Callen.

I don't think
she can handle it.

This job is a cruel mistress.

Fortunately, I know how
to handle my cruel mistress.

What the hell
are you wearing?

What do you mean,
what the hell am I wearing?

I'm wearing a track suit.
That is a jumpsuit.

That's a unitard.
Some kind of tard.

You don't recognize this?

Yeah, Uma Thurman wore
the same thing in Kill Bill.

Oh, my gosh, don't

tell me you're cross-dressing.

The one that
Uma Thurman wore

was different, but it was also
an homage to the original,

which was worn
by the greatest martial artist

the world has ever known.

Seriously, nothing?
Bruce Lee!

The Dragon himself. This is
classic jeet kune do fight gear.

Since when do you do jeet kune do?
Well, Kensilina,

I'll have you know that,
a lot like Batman,

my unique coat skills
come from a variety

of fighting styles,
which is jeet kune do,

aikido, tae Kwon do.

Curly, Larry, Moe.

Oh, you know, I see what's
happening here-- you're

mocking me, which
is interesting,

because when you mock me,

you mock my brother Bruce Lee,

which seems a little bit racist

and I'd actually expect
more coming from you.

Keep it up, you're gonna get a lot
more from me.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, really.

You familiar with the,
uh, game of death?

Oh, yeah.
I play it to win.

Well, don't make me
unleash the dragon.

Please, somebody needs
to train his dragon.

Bring it on.

Where have you been?

Uh, just working out
with Sam and Kensi.

Really?

Yeah. Sparring, mostly.

I'd pay to see that.

Yeah. So, um,
you wanted to see me?

I want you to find
any new information you can

on this internal affairs
investigation Deeks is part of.

And where would I look
for something like that?

If I knew that
I would have done it myself.

You're the cyberpunk,
you figure it out.

I prefer cyberstud.

Perimeter alert.

Someone at the carport.

Punch it up.

Who is that?

Hello? Anybody home?

Do I need a secret password
or something?

You know, we don't
have to do this now, Hetty.

Nonsense,
this is a pleasure for me.

All right.

Reminds me
of when I was

working on
The Lion in Winter with Hepburn

and O'Toole
and a young Anthony Hopkins.

Wow. Mm.
Oh, my.

Well, it's just beautiful.

Thank you.

Have you ever been
to a Renaissance fair?

Uh, the Society
for Creative Anachronism

is what we called
it in my day.

Mm. Well, Eric's practically

a celebrity at these things,

so I figured I might as well
at least try and look the part.

You will make
a most fetching wench.

Thank you?

Hey, what's the emergency?

Yeah, I got an alert from Beale.
Maybe it's revenge

for the beating Kensi gave him.

You beat up Beale?

No. No.
Little bit.

What's happening, Beale?

Yeah, we got a...

Pardon me, your grace.

My lord.

We got company.

Ah, wow.

So this is the secret lair

of the West Coast Avengers.
I always wondered.

I'm Special Agent Tony...

DiNozzo, yes.

You must be Hetty.

And you must be in trouble.

Well, y-yeah.
A little bit.

Assistant Director Granger.

DiNozzo.

Agent Hanna and Blye.

Hi.

LAPD Detective Deeks.

Sup?

It's nice to see you, Uma.

Bruce Lee, actually.
Bruce Lee wore it first.

And this is technical operator
Eric Beale

and Intel analyst Nell Jones.
Hi.

I love the cape.

Clearly, I've missed something.

Agent Callen,
Agent DiNozzo

from Washington.

He was just about to tell us

to what we owe the pleasure
of his visit.

I'm here to pick up a prisoner
flying in from Singapore.

Only the guy that I went
to the airport to pick up

was not the prisoner
from Singapore.

I hate when that happens.
Yeah. Somehow

he gave the marshal the slip

in-flight and now he is in the wind.
Hm.

You lost your prisoner?

I didn't lose anybody.

He was already lost
when I got to the airport.

Semantics.

So who is he?

His name is Rio Syamsundin.

Aka Wei Wong,

aka Joshua Santos,

aka Hiroshi Sato,
aka Hoang Nguyen.

That's my fave.

He's got great hair.
Thanks for the assist.

Rio is suspected
of laundering money

for a number of criminal
organizations,

but no one's
ever been able

to nail him,
in part because he's

constantly assuming
different identities

and citizenships.

He also does his banking
from a yacht

in the international waters
of the Asian Pacific.

Wow,

my guidance counselor
didn't tell me that was

a career option.
I would have studied for that.

Well, for some reason

he showed himself in Singapore

and that's when he got grabbed.
Because we have a

special relationship
with SPF, we had first dibs.

We had a U.S. marshal
flying him into L.A.

and I was gonna pick him up
and fly him back to DC.

And what happened?
The marshal has no idea.

Says he had the right guy
when he got on the plane.

A guy with his money
can buy an escape plan, easy.

He hires a look-alike,
takes the same plane.

And if the double
has a seat in another section

of the aircraft he's just gonna
look like any other passenger.

Rio probably had a flight
attendant on the payroll, too.

If they slip something into
the marshal's food or drinks,

it would only be matter of time
before he was out cold.

To everyone around him,

it would just
look like he's sleeping.

Once the marshal's out,
our fugitive Rio

is free to move
about the cabin, so he

heads to the lavatory,
where an accomplice

is waiting with everything
he needs to disappear.

A change of clothes,
new identification documents

and, most importantly,
a handcuff key.

Rio frees himself, puts on his
wardrobe, then switches seats.

Double dresses Rio's clothes
and handcuffs himself

before taking Rio's seat
with the marshal,

who has slept
through the entire switch.

And the real Rio

walks off the plane a free man.

That's how I'd do it.

Huh.
That's pretty good.

Well, the bottom line
is that Rio

is a gold mine of information

about criminal organizations
and their finances.

And if he cooperates in exchange
for a lenient sentence,

we can shut down billions
in terrorist funding overnight.

What happened to the
guy he switched with?

He is being held by Homeland
at the airport.

Well, let's transfer him
to the boatshed.

What's the boatshed?

That's classified.

It's where we

interrogate suspects

to keep this place off
the radar.

Oh. How Hardy Boys of you.

This guy's a high-value target.

Not only does he know where

the money comes from
and where it goes.

He also knows all the players.

And none of them wants him
in our hands.

- You need to be careful.
- All right.

How do you want to do this?

Well, I don't care how we do it.

I just need to find him fast.

Eric, Nell, why
don't you see

what you can get out
of airport security?

Find out where he went,
or at least who

picked him up
and what name

- he's travelling under right now.
- If Rio's working

the Pacific Rim, he's probably
got contacts along the coast.

- Hopefully in L.A.
- Kensi and I will

track down some leads,
and I'll talk to LAPD

to see if this guy has
any links in town.

Let's do it.

Mr. DiNozzo,

a moment.

We'll wait
for you outside.

Whatever you do,
don't look her in the eye.

Let her smell
your hand first.

Is Washington aware
of what's happened?

Ah. Um, well,
I was actually...

No.

No.

Your last visit

to Los Angeles
didn't go very well.

It could have
gone better.

Director Shepard was murdered.

Much better.

How long before Gibbs
is expecting you to check in?

Not long enough.

Actually, uh, we are supposed

to be on the 237
back to D.C., so...

Oh. Mm.

Um...

so?

So, I suggest you get moving.

This fugitive isn't going
to find himself.

How very true.

Thank you for that.

Tunnel.

Tunnel. Of course.

What's a bat cave
without a tunnel?

Godspeed, Agent DiNozzo.

Wow.

This is very Lost Boys. Wow.

So, it's more
the Peter Pan variety

than the, uh, two Coreys
with the vampires.

You guys have
a tree house?

Marshall?

Gentlemen.

Who's the woman?

It's his lawyer.
Lawyer.

You let him make a phone call?
No.

She showed up
at the airport about

ten minutes
after you left.

Clearly, your boy

Rio has put some
thought into this.

Why don't you two take

a crack at him, I'll speak
with the marshal here.

Sam, I assume
you're gonna want to be bad cop.

Why'd you say that?

'Cause of the role-playing.

Role playing?

Yeah, you know.

Your undercover work.

I understand that
you adopt these personas, and...

He's very method.

Mm.

Special Agent Sam Hanna,

Special Agent DiNozzo.

Miss...?

Attorney.
Sarah Taylor.

This is my client,
Mr. Hung.

Well, Hung...

looks like

you're in trouble.

Your client

have any idea
where his buddy Rio went?

My client was
wrongfully arrested

in a case of mistaken identity,

kidnapped from his country

and brought here
against his own will, so,

unless he is released
immediately,

we will be filing a lawsuit
against the U.S. government

and issuing a statement
to the press about his illegal

extraordinary rendition.

Your client aided
and abetted

the escape of a criminal linked

to several
terrorist organizations.

My client has no criminal record
and has done nothing wrong.

And like I said,
he was kidnapped...

How did you know

your client was in L.A.?

That's privileged
information.

We'll subpoena
your phone records,

find out whoever contacted you
prior to Mr. Hung's arrival.

Then we get your
bank statements,

trace any records of deposits
from offshore accounts,

both of which will link you

- to our missing fugitive.
- Then you become

a lawyer in need
of a lawyer.

You think your Patriot Act
trumps the Sixth Amendment?

I think justice
trumps terrorism.

Gentlemen, you may
enforce the law,

but the legal system
is my world,

so, let's just
cut the crap.

You got nothing on my client.

You know it, I know it.

And unless you want the world
to know it, we're out of here.

You familiar with the United
States versus Ahmed Abdel,

Lynne Stewart,
and Mohammed Yousry?

That's the one where
the lawyer gets charged

with aiding the terrorists
she was defending.

I believe in that case,

she served eight years?
No, ten.

Ten? I was gonna
say "eight""

Actually, I did
say "eight""

Overruled. Can you imagine
a whole decade

without Pilates,
Prada and... Botox?

We'll give you some time

to sit with that.

All right.
Thanks, Nell.

You didn't take anything to help
you sleep on the plane, did you?

Of course not.
Didn't think so, but I had to ask.

Your blood work came back,
and you tested positive

for the sedative Zolpidem.

Twice the normal dosage.

You would have slept
through a plane crash.

So that's why
they had to wake me up.

I was drugged.

Gave you enough so you'd still
be out of it when you landed.

Make you less likely
to realize the switch.

Hey, guys?

What have you got, Eric?

LAX surveillance video

shows Rio leaving
Tom Bradley terminal.

Anyone meet him there?

No, he got on a shuttle van.

What kind of shuttle?

Rental car.

He rented a car?

Yeah, a red Mustang convertible

under the name Michael Long.

Where is he headed?

All over.

I think he's sightseeing.

Where did he go?

Maybe he dumped the car.

Hey, Eric, can you remotely
switch off the vehicle?

No. GPS tracking is
the best I could do.

Fail. Epic fail.
Wow.

Whatever happened
to the signal?

Well, Kensi, he probably went
into an underground garage.

Do you have an address
for us, Mr. Beale?

Best guess is on your phone,
Mr. Deeks.

I'll let you know if he moves.

Find him?
Yes, we did.

All right,
I'm coming with you.

- No. No, that's not a good idea.
- I think

it's a great idea.
It's a great suit,

by the way.

This old thing? Thank you.

I do wish more men
would dress like adults.

You know, in L.A.,

formal attire tends to be black
T-shirts and flip-flops.

Tom Ford says, "Dressing well
is a form of good manners""

I love Tom Ford.

He knows how to
a dress woman.

Yeah, but does he know how
to undress a woman?

Shotgun.

You'd look good
in Tom Ford.

Yeah, I wish.

Say it's for an
undercover op.

Have you met Hetty?
Yeah.

Kind of reminds
me of a badger.

You know, you really
did look great

in that cape
and bodice today.

Yeah, that
was all Hetty.

Mm, pretty sure
some of that was you.

Too much?
No! No.

Not at all.

I mean, you know,
we of the Ren Faire

community strive for a certain
historical accuracy

we it comes to, uh...
costume fashion.

So, will you be
donning tights?

There will be hose.

Excuse me.
Hosiery.

Girdled trousers will be worn.

Mm.

It doesn't get weird
at these things, does it?

Yeah. Define weird.

I mean, it's not like
a furry convention?

Because those things can fly
off the rails pretty quickly.

Oh, no, no, no. It's more
just like ale drinking,

bawdy bards, juggling,

fire magic, jousting,
little arch...

Wait. You've been

to a furry convention?

Yeah, I've been to
Califur a few times.

What?

You know I like cosplay.
Yeah.

Sailor Moon,
Lilith, Chun-Li.

Didn't know
you had a fursona.

Oh, fursona?

Now, that's some
pretty specific argot

for someone outside the fur
fandom community, Sparky.

You don't have a

fur suit in your closet
I don't know about, do you?

Would that be weird
or cool if I did?

Depends on what it was.

Platypus?

Weird.

Narwhal.

Cool.

Aardvark?

Weird.

Komodo Dragon.

Very cool.

Musk ox?

No.

All right.
So what is your fursona?

Fennec Fox.

Nice! Or should I say... foxy?

Granger...

Director... Assistant...

He's been talking
backwards all morning.

I'm pretty sure it's
a software issue.

Where are we?

Uh, we're just still
trying to locate Rio.

We think we know the area
where his car may be.

Kensi and Deeks are headed there now.
With DiNozzo.

Yeah. Anything else?

That's all for now.

Did he just say,
"That's all fur now?"

No.

Did he?

We can't keep her here
much longer.

We cut her loose.

Maybe she leads us
to Rio.

You really think
she's that stupid?

Well, she was stupid enough to
get involved in the first place,

stupid enough to think
she could outsmart us.

That's like
stupid-squared.

Even if she
is, Rio isn't.

He's played this thing
pretty well so far.

There's no way he would
let her know where he is.

I don't know.

He's riding around L.A.
in a convertible like a tourist.

Is he?

Or is he meeting
contacts at places

where it's just very easy
to blend in?

Might've planned
this whole thing out.

I doubt he planned on
getting arrested in Singapore.

Nobody does.

Yeah? And whose fault
was that?

I still have a scar

from that guy,
thank you very much.

That wasn't a guy.

Look, don't start with me.

You think a girl
could knock me down like that?

You were off-balance.

She got a lucky punch.
The guy had a Adam's apple

the size of a pomegranate.
Mm-hmm.

Just like those twins in Ratchaburi.
No, no, no.

Now, one of those
actually was a woman.

In your dreams.

You-you know who would love
that story?

Who's that?
Deeks would love

that story.
You think?

Absolutely.
Hmm.

You know what story
Deeks would really love?

Don't say it.

Tumakuru.

What did I just say to you?

Tuma-freaking-kuru,

where you fought an
entire bar full of midgets.

I got us a ride out
of there, didn't I?

And those weren't
little people--

they were just short.
Every one

of them was shorter than Hetty.

If I had a video...

You had a guy hanging
off your ear by his teeth.

Why do you h...

He was chewing on a
piece of beef jerky.

Eric, do we have any movement?

No.

Car hasn't reappeared,
from what I can tell.

Well, all right.
There's a red Mustang.

Rio's nowhere
in sight.

Must be up
on the street.

All right, let's do this.
You go topside, see

if you can spot him. DiNozzo
and I will stay back here

in case he comes back.
Yeah, that seems like a terrible plan,

because I'm not the person
that lost him.

Technically,

I didn't lose him either.
Okay,

he's not my prisoner--
he's yours.

Okay,

don't get your wig in a mess.

I'll go find him.

I'll come with you.
No, I'll go. I'll go.

Whoa, whoa.
Come here.

What is wrong with you?
What's wrong

with me? What's wrong with you?
Why are you being weird?

I'm not being weird. You're being weird.
I'm the one that's acting normal.

Oh? And what does that look like?
It looks like...

Guys, time's kind of
an issue for me here,

so can we get
a move on? Thanks.

Hi.
Hi.

Wow.

Gonna get a murse to
match your pantsuit?

So you're not
a federal agent, huh?

No. LAPD liaison.

What does that mean?
I'm pretty sure

it's French for "secret weapon""

No, that would be
"l'arme secrète""

Oh, wow. French Canadian. You
obviously have an ear for it.

So, I'm guessing
with that shaggy do,

you weren't very popular
on the police force.

Au contraire,

mon ami, I was the king
of the constabulary ball.

So what was it?

Internal Affairs investigation
land you here?

Drugs? I'm guessing
you were a coke monkey.

Not a coke monkey, per Se.

Deeks,

I only say this to you
because I care.

It's dangerous for you to cook
the meth in your trailer.

The gases.

You know that you can, uh,
O.D. on teeth whiteners?

Hetty recruited me.

- From a folk band?
- Girls, you are

both pretty. Although one of you

clearly has better fashion sense.
Not to mention

grooming.
Mmm. Listen.

It's actually called, uh, surf chic.

I believed
it's pronounced "surf chick."

Ladies, heads up and shut up.

Rio just came back from what
looks like a shopping spree.

Federal agent.

Stop.
Rio,

put the bags down.
Put your hands behind your head.

My name is Sarawut.
Sarawut Saosong.

I think you have me confused
for somebody else.

You wish.

Don't even think
about it.

Get down on
your knees.

Ooh. Bang, bang, sexy time.

Shut up and cross your feet.

You okay?

My chest.

I'm having a heart attack.

Call 911.

Deeks!

Freeze!
Stop the car!

Where's Rio?
I'm guessing he had the good sense

to run away
when the bullets started.

Who were those guys?

I just got here.

This is your town.

Is it an iguana?

It's an armadillo.

Can you get your finger
out of my origami?

This is your desk.

Sorry.

That Rio's
stuff?

Yes, indeed.

Wow, maybe he really was here
on vacation.

Hmm.
Did you find him?

Not yet.

But we did
identify

the shooter
that you apprehended.

His name is Philipe Del La Haye

of Jersey.

Mob connections?

Not New Jersey. Jersey Jersey,

off the coast of Normandy.

Oh. Old Jersey.
Officially called

- the Bailiwick of Jersey.
- Bailiwick?

You sure it's not
a donnybrook?

Might be more of a mollycoddle.

Don't encourage him.

Jersey's part
of the Channel Islands between

England and France, but it's
a self-governing democracy

with its own financial
and legal systems.

That's interesting. 'Cause
I never found the Jersey Boys

that dangerous when
they were singing and dancing.

Maybe they're working for Pippin now.
Ooh.

I thought you were better than that.
What does this guy want

with Rio?

We're not sure.

He works
for a local trust company.

But here's
the interesting part.

So, every year, the Bureau
of International Narcotics

and Law Enforcement
Affairs rates

the money laundering operations
around the world.

Jersey just so happens
to be one

of the places
of primary concern.

And it's one of the leading
offshore banking centers.

Rio is the mack daddy
of money laundering.

"Mack daddy."

Really?

That means every
criminal he's ever worked with

will be willing to kill him
to prevent their assets from being seized.

We got to find this guy.
If the Bailiwick of Jersey knows

he's here,
odds are others do as well.

Hey, guys?

Check
this out.

Hydrocodone.

Ondansetron.
That's used

for nausea and vomiting.
Arnica,

bromelain, moisturizer.

Arnica's used
for bruises.

Bromelain's an
anti-inflammatory.

It's a post-op kit
for cosmetic surgery.

Of course!

Michael Long.

That's right.
Detective Lieutenant Michael Arthur Long.

He was shot in the face.

He was rescued
by billionaire Wilton Knight

and was the primary field agent
for the Foundation

of Law and Government.

FLAG.

FLAG.

What?

- What are you two talking about?
- Knight Rider,

starring
David Hasselhoff.

The Hoff.
Don't you dare hassle him.

'80s TV show

with a talking car.

A.K.A. KITT.

And the Knight Industries
Two Thousand

was a little more
than a talking car.

Oh, yeah.
Do you ever get

the feeling
we're working alone here?

Every single day.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Do not loop Nell and me

in this... geek squad.

- Thank you.
- After he was shot,

Michael Arthur
was in need

of cosmetic surgery.

New face, new identity.

And I think that's what Rio is doing.
Well,

there's no better place to get
a new face than Hollywood.

No identification on this
kit, but if it was in the shopping bags,

obviously he got it
at the same time.

Chances are his surgeon is
located in the same area.

That narrows it down
to about 1,000.

Okay, we'll start
with the places

that are closest
to the parking garage,

then extend
from there.

He'll probably need a place to
recover for a couple of weeks,

so places close enough
for post-op visits.

Right.
We'll start sorting through

the hotels, try to find
someone checking in today

for approximately two weeks.

Oh.

You got
to be kidding me.

Bam!

Did I call that or what?

Hey. Any luck?

No. You?

We saw Alec Baldwin.
Oh.

No, no. That was
just a mirror.

Who's next?

Why don't I take
Bedford. And, uh,

you take Roxbury. Maybe...

get a quote on doing something
with Deeks' face.

Yeah?
That was aggressive.

Okay. Shall we?

It's never gonna work, you know.
Why not?

Trust me, I've been there.
Oh, you mean plastic surgery?

God, I knew it.
'Cause of that Ken doll chin.

You and Blye.
What, our partnership?

The other ship.
What other ship?

You know what ship.

I don't know what ship
you're talking about.

Your relationship.

Oh, you're shipping us?
'Cause you need to stop

right now before you
embarrass yourself.

Okay. How can you possibly do
undercover work

and be this bad a liar?

You couldn't infiltrate
community dinner theater.

You do a lot of undercover work,
do you?

A ton. I do a ton.

As a Sears model,
circa 1970?

Who hurt you?

How can I help you gentlemen?

Is this a patient of yours?

I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to tell you the same thing

my colleagues downstairs
just did.

Unfortunately,
saying anything at all

would not only be
a breach

of my patients' confidentiality
but also

is a serious HIPAA violation.

No, we understand, but this is
an extraordinary situation.

The man in that photo is
a criminal with terrorist ties.

Now that you know
that, if he is

a patient of yours,
and you go ahead

and have surgery
and alter his appearance,

then you
will be guilty

of aiding and abetting
a fugitive.

Not good for business.

A jailhouse surgeon
has a, uh...

very different
clientele.

Would you excuse me
for just one moment?

Mm-hmm.

What do you think?

I think he's our guy,

and right now he's back there
calling his lawyer for advice.

I think you're right.

Would you ever... consider
getting a little work done,

you know, when
the time comes?

Nah. No need.

Black don't crack.

Oh. Why is that?

Superior genetics, baby.

I mean, that and
a clean lifestyle.

Yeah.
I treat my body

like a precision race car.

Keep it shiny and new forever.

You treat yours
like a garbage truck.

Well, what if your, uh,
what if your race car body,

what if it lives forever
but your brain dies?

I mean... what do you do then?
Mm.

Who's gonna...
take care of the hulk?

Well, it damn sure
won't be you,

'cause you'll be long dead
living like you do.

Uh-huh.

He told me his name
was Mr. Reyes from Manila.

He's staying at the Sofitel.

Is... that...

Oh. We're just using that
as a guideline.

Well, if he's in there
he's not answering his phone.

Sam and I are gonna
check his room.

All right, DiNozzo and I
will work the rest of the hotel.

Guess that leaves you

to keep an eye out in case
he does more shopping.

Deeks.
Yeah?

No, definitely,
I should stay out here

with the harmful UV rays--
you guys go inside.

Enjoy that
air-conditioning.

You ever consider

working in Washington?
Oh, no. Too cold.

You ever consider working in L.A.?
I hadn't.

Maybe it's time for
a change of scenery.

Yeah, those are rentals.

Are you gonna get that?

Uh... it can wait.

What if it's important?

It's probably not.

So look.

I can't.

What if it's your boss?

Well, then he would be
in a state

of quantum superposition
like Schrodinger's cat,

and as long as I don't...

Ooh. Please don't.

Gibbs?

Yeah.

Due to technical difficulties,

the customer you
are trying to reach

cannot receive messages
at this time.

Please try again later.

A-19.

You're so very welcome.

You just killed me and my cat.

♪ ♪

Housekeeping!

It's over, Rio.

My name is Jesse Reyes!
Yeah?

And I'm Molly Ringwald!

Open the door, Rio.

That's not my name!
Well, it's one of 'em.

I'll give you each

fifty thousand dollars!

We're federal agents!

Okay, how about, uh,
a hundred thousand dollars each?

Open the door!

I have a gun.

No, you don't.

We have to break down this
door, we might hurt you.

If I have to break
down the door,

I'm gonna hurt you.
Come out of there!

I'm having a heart attack!

Huh. That's
your second one today.

Godzilla!

Move.
I need to get dressed.

It's too late. Move. Move.

Get out there.

I'm seeking refugee status.

If you send me back
to North Korea, I will be executed.

Oh, you're North Korean now?
All right, all right!

Enough games! All right,
the real truth is this--

my name is Jeff Carol
and I'm in the CIA.

If you guys
don't leave right now,

you're gonna blow my cover.

I suggest you get out of here
right now.

All right! I'm small,
bro! You're big!

Guys, you may have
some unwanted guests.

Take that for you?

And one of them look like
the shooter from the garage.

Kenz, check out the three guys

that are just entering
the hotel now.

I got 'em.

They look like your friends
from Jersey?

This isn't good.

- What's not good?
- We got 'em

but there aren't three,
there are five.

Sam and Callen,
get out of there now.

Guys, we got
too many civilians out here.

You need to get them out
quietly.

It's clear.

Let's take
the stairs.

I need a gun.

You need to shut up.

Do you work out a lot?

I'm thinking
about joining a gym.

My mom says I'm shaped like a scallop.
You'll have plenty

of time to work out in prison.

Prison? What do you mean?
I'm a secret weapon

in your War on Terror.

Seriously,
you need to stop talking.

I really like you guys--
we should hang out after this.

Oh, my God!

Gun!

Rio's on the run.

He's like a little jackrabbit.

Move!

Huh. Nice bathrobe, Rio.

Stop.

Hey! Stop!

Stop! Federal...

Oh!

Guys, we lost Rio.

Hey, go. I got this.
You sure?

I'm not as fast as you think I am.
Then start running...

now!

Deeks, another shooter
making a break for it.

Damn it.

Ooh, ooh, ah, ah, ah...

Oh!

Aah! Help!

I'm being attacked
by a homeless man!

- I got him!
- Don't let him escape.

And don't let him get killed.

How about one out of two?

Does everyone in America
own a gun or something?

Stay down!

You know what?
I had enough of this.

Cover me.

I can use some help here.

Miss me?

Yeah. Can you
do me a favor,

stand up, tell me
how many guys there are?

I don't have to--
there are at least two.

Two?

Please don't let them kill me.

Shut up!

What is that thing you do?
What?

With your hair-- it's, like,
a nervous tick or something.

What are you talking about?
I can't see-- I got hair in my eyes.

Get a haircut!
He's right.

You should go to Supercuts.
You need to get some layers.

Shut up! Shut up!
Okay.

One, two, three!

Federal agents! Drop it, now!

Go.
Drop the weapon!

On your knees.
Get down on the ground, facedown!

Facedown!

I think I just peed.

Well, that was fun.

Just another day in L.A., baby.

If you're gonna get shot it,

you might as well do it
in the sunshine.

You guys are like having
my own A-Team.

Hannibal, Murdock, Face...

Say it and I'll
shoot you in the face.

I pity the fool!

Hey.

Ah, bang, bang, sexy time.

Put a sock in it.

You guys okay?

- We're solid.
- Could I say something?

No!
Shut up!

I'm gonna say it anyway,
because I live in America.

I'll give you guys
a half a million apiece

if you guys would
still let me go, okay?

I'm just throwing it out there.
It's over, Knight Rider.

I'm having
a heart attack! Call 911!

Well, I'm not gonna lie--
we came, we saw, we captured.

And you practically destroyed
the hotel.

No civilian casualties.

You're lucky.

So where's Rio?

Prisoner transport van.

We're going to escort them
back to the gate.

Ah, that's nice,
but not really necessary.

We're going to escort you
back to the gate.

They're going to escort us
back to the gate.

Good.

Thank you for your help.

Our pleasure.

Wouldn't go that far.

Give me a hug.

Come back to us anytime
you get tired of Washington.

I just might do that.

Deeks.

Oh, nice.
Well played.

Mr. DiNozzo,

before you go,

you had a call
from Gibbs.

Oh.

Apparently, he's been

having difficulty reaching you.

Yeah. Well,
we... 'cause we, uh,

there was a gun battle,

and, um...

What did he say?

He said I should give you
a message.

Ah.

Okay.
Come.

- Oh!
- Ow.

Ooh.

That's from Gibbs.

Now get out of my town.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

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