Original subtitles

I am someone that has a connection to airplanes my whole life

I started building airplane models when I was three

I started "polishing my rocket" when I was nine

I threw my friends airplane when I was a bit older

When I grew up, I became a pilot

My name is Mean Cool, my nickname is "Pickup Master in the aviation world"

Everyone called me Captain Cool

Captain

See you next time

His name is Fatty Sam

Everyone called him Captain Tong

Hi-lev Tang

He is my best mate on wooing girls

He takes care of the talking while I take care of making it

This kiddo called Guy

He is sissy so the girls treat him like their best maid

Psychologically,

this is a kind of split personality

Get the girl by acting gay

Good morning, Captain Cool!

Captain Cool!

Our airline

is the one that sells budget ticket, the ICE Airline

It costs only $1,500 to fly London

It's even cheaper than having sex

Come on!

Only these few around

Right. So boring

Just like marriage

What marriage?

Hey, girls

So we'll have a nice time

You can see all the girls like me

just like honey to bees

But I was a boring boy before

And my first love, as well as my first time...

was pitiful ending

What a loser

My first love was my schoolmate in secondary school

Her name is Shelly

Please feel free to sit

I go to get some drinks in the kitchen

As Shelly is poor at Mathematics,

she asked me to give her private tutorials

So after school, when her parents are not yet home

I went to her place

Shelly, this ancient lady looks really like you

She is my great-great-great-grand auntie

She is a chivalrous woman in Ming Dynasty

She was sacrificed when she attempted to assassinate the Lord Ning

who conspired against the Emperor

She worths respect

Let's... go to my room to start the tutorial

Let's

In fact, my maths is not good. So-called tutorial

is shit. We started kissing very soon

Otherwise why would I go to a girl's place in an afternoon

I can't... I have asthma

I need some fresh air...

Me too

Left... left side

Left side... feels better

Why the left side?

I am leftie

Are you kidding? I reckon you use your right hand to write

My breast is a leftie

Me too then

Your chest is also leftie?

No, my dick

Let me see

Oh Really!

Is it big?

Yes!

We can't! We will have baby if we do this!

How could we have baby?

My mom said no man can be trusted

That's how she got me

You have my word! It's a promise when I say so.

L... didn't mean your father

But I have credit

Then you... better be careful

You said I have your word?!

I wanted to hold...

It's stuck

What should we do? Don't make a mess

I said you have my word

When I said it has no problem...

So... you move lightly...

I said man can't be trusted!

We've reached that far anyway...

Sweety, we're back

Mom

So nice that working on your homework? Auntie!

I'll leave you alone

Our daughter is well-behaved. She is working on her homework

Let's have tarts

Since then, I've never been to Shelly's home

Moreover, her parents had made her changed to another school

My first love ended like this

What are we blowing?

Let me help you

Who is she?

How would I know?

Hey...

It's you again? I saw her first

One minute

You take it if I can't

What? Hey! I haven't said yes

You don't know me.

I don't know you either

But you know what?

You are the one.

The one I have been waiting for so long.

Your English sucks. You're not wooing me, are you?

I'm so sorry.

You want a go?

Oh! I'm so sorry!

Why you keep looking at your watch? We are in the afternoon flight

We've made a deal

I'll take over if he couldn't make it in one minute

Done

And I did it twice

In 19 seconds?

That means I still have 41 seconds

Hey! Meeting time!

Really in one minute?

Yes, I trained it during short-haul flights

Shit!

I only fly to England

It hurts if you fly long-haul, Fatso

Sit...

Boss looks like... very happy

How nappy?

Not sure what shall we congratulate

I am getting married

Congratulations!

Thank you!

Wonderful!

Let me tell you. She is really nice

If you guys meet her, you also would...

I wouldn't dare...

Please ask Monica to come in

Monica is a nice name

Makes us fantasize

So high-class, like French

So romantic

Monica!

Did you kiss just now?

No

What's up? Where did you go?

I go for some food

Are you full?

So so OK

Oh, what happened to your nails?

You should look for someone with better technique

Why... you don't have money?

So poor...

Let me introduce to you

Guy-guy, Sam-sam

Captain Cool

They are the three top pilots in our airline

Hello!

What's up?

You want to try?

Sorry, it's the last one

It's out of stock. I can't help you

What a pity

Why? You want to take it?

Looks like you do

You have good taste!

You are staring at me? Ok

What? You gotta eat when the boss tells you to

Take it

Thank you

It's too thick. My mouth is too small for it

I'm not gonna take it

Am I gonna take it myself?

And it won't be me

You have to take a bite anyway

I don't want to!

Help... I'm not taking...

You have to take a bite no matter what

lam not... no...

You have to lick me if you're not gonna take it!

Captain Cool

There is something behind you

There is something behind me?

What is it?

Yes, what is it? Impossible

What happen to my back? Your back... has nothing

Let's check it outside Go out and have a better look

Wait!

You guys wanna flee?!

No...

This boss is really mean

I just happen to have sex with his wife

He's been chasing me because of it

and I was fired like this

And this was the last time I flew...

in ICE Airline. Fly me...

Shut up!

Captain

There is a thunder cloud ahead

With my skills, I can fly through any conditions, even through twin peaks...

not to mention a mere thunder storm

Nice

Surprise!

What are you guys doing?

Today is the last time we work together

Let's throw a party

But we can't drink

It's fine. Let's drink water instead

We can still get drunk by water

Shit! What an ancient script

Yes. So let's take this chance

You haven't activated the autopilot yet

It's insane!

Really. What's up?

Let's kiss first!

No more kisses, just go straight!

The party tonight was really excited

But I couldn't imagine

what in front of me was not a thunder cloud

but a magnetic storm generated

by accumulation of huge amount of sunspots

What is it?

How would I know?

I felt like I was sleeping when I got into the magnetic thunder

Just when I woke up, I thought I survived the plane crash

But after I figured out what had happened

Only four words popped up in my head

lam in trouble

Where am I?

Why kissing... turns into a tree?

Was it plane crash?

No way

I don't think so

Or you've died already. How can you still standing here?

It's not often that you're so calm

Of course. Let's see if our phones get any signal

Okay Ok

No signal. Look

Mine doesn't have any signals, too

He)'

Hey!

It looks like rural area in Mainland

Yes, this place looks antiquated

People also look a bit odd

Right

What the hell?!

I sot it!

It must be the famous Eastern Hollywood,

the Hengdian World Studio

That would be great

I've been want to become an actor for a long time

Impossible

Why?

There is no camera

They use hidden camera

That's good. I heard that a lot of actresses are whore in here

Who?

That... Fan...

Actress whore is good. I want to be one as well

He misunderstood...

Not to be one, but look for one! Fan what?

What happen to you? Can you see?

You like her even she doesn't have breasts?

The Good one will come last. Let's eat first

OK, OK

What does that whore call?

Looks nice...

This way

Gentlemen

You guys don't dress like normal

You guys must be from outside the gate

Stupid, I didn't say you dress funny

Don't do that

It's difficult to run a Chinese restaurant

You can't earn enough to give those bullshit landlord

You even need to wear kimono in Japanese restaurant

They serve traditional Chinese cuisine here. So it makes sense

Sounds right

Sorry, I'm so sorry.

Boss, they speak foreign language. I don't understand

You guys dressed-up

I can tell you are rich people in foreign country

We have seats with better view upstairs. Please follow me

Gentlemen, please!

Look. We can take the seats upstairs just when we apologize

No wonder people say you are a flatterer

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry...

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry...

Sorry...

Sorry...

What do you want to eat?

Pineapple bun

Shark's fin dumpling

Hot dog

It's easy, right?

Right

Sorry!

Good gUY

He is a fast learner

Bro Tang, your turn

We are waiting

...

I can't compose it yet

If you still can't do it

You have to let me lust your 8 wives

You wish!

I can do it

It's almost there, almost there

He can't no matter what

Holding whiz

So poor

People laugh at my madness

I laugh at people's ignorant

These two are nice!

Some more?

We can't see the tombs of the heroes

No flowers, no wine but a planting field

Nice! Nice one!

Buddy, although you wear funny clothes

you can still catch up my poem

I do respect you

We were borned at the 70s. We all heard about Stephen Chow

Which Stephen Chow?

My name is Chow Man-ban

My name is Men Ching-ming

I am Chok Tse-shan

What are you looking at?

Who said the four wits have to be handsome?

Right. I warned you

You made fun of me saying lam too fat to be a pilot

Now people laugh at you too

I didn't

You keep looking?!

Have you finished?

I am Tang Bo-hu. And you are?

If you are Tang Bo-hu?

Then I must be Leonardo... Dicapri0

Bro, are you come from foreign country?

United States of America

You know what I'm saying?

What?

Bro Lee, although you come from foreign country

you are expertise in poem

I respect you even more

How about this. As we have the fate to meet

Let me drink with you guys tonight

and we compose poems for whole night

I don't mind if he asks me to compose

That is

Gentlemen, please feel free

OK

What is it?

Pineapple bun

Shark's fin dumpling

There is abalone inside the pineapple

There is fish fin in the dumpling

So hotdog...

Shit! This is really a rural place

Do you have boiled egg?

It's easy

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.

You actors are really hard

and you are willing to come to dump places like Hengdian

I wouldn't come if I were you

Do you earn a lot?

My name is Tang Bohu, I am a poet

not an actor

Come on. Don't fool around after work

So into the character

We are an airplane pilot

Our plane fell in here

Excuse me, Bro. Tang

Where is the airport nearby?

When will be the next flight to Hong Kong?

Airport? Airplane?

What are they?

That's enough!

I've already said. After Stephen Chow acted as Tang Bohu.

No one can ever act again successfully

Finished... do you know what "finished" means?

I really have no idea on what you are talking about

Whoever act it would die

I got it! You must be sent by Lord Ning!

He asked when will be the next flight

You...

Remote hitting of pressure point!

I can't move

Me too. Guy, you...

I can't, too

You guys tell me

Did Lord Ning tell you

That apart from Kung Fu I also know how to compose poems

And I am also the only successor of Tang's overlord spear

So, are you here to check on me?

Shit. We meet someone crazy

We're done. Will he sexual harass us?

That's good. Don't you want to be a whore?

No way, you are so bad

Tell me!

Did Lord Ning send you?

Are you really Tang Bohu?

Of course I am Tang Bohu!

Is it really the Ming Dynasty now?

Of course it is the Ming Dynasty

We're done. We're back to the Ming Dynasty

Back to the Ming Dynasty?

Where did you guys actually come from?

We are HongKongers in 2014

You bullshit, keep kidding me?

Mr. Tang

He is really too sissy

He is a retard

I can present better than him. How about this

You release me and let me explain it to you

You are also curious, right?

Alright. You can't beat me anyway

The fact is that

Bro. Tang

we are in Ming Dynasty now...

I'did explain to him with the most simply way

From Flirting Scholar to Universal Suffrage 2017

We talked from 7pm to 3am

He finally understands

God bless the Ming Dynasty!

Why is that, Bro. Tang?

Bro. Lee Yes

According to what you've said. In future

there are fish balls, meat balls and missiles

If we have missiles, we don't need to worry about...

Lord Ning any more

You don't have to worry about him

with your remote hitting pressure point technique

Bro. Lee, you know nothing

about the Lord Ning

has two master-hands. One in planning and one in KungFu

The one in planning called Dui Tong-gai

The one in KungFu called Ruthless Scholar

He practiced "Protective Shield" successfully

Nothing can beat him now

But he has a lethal point

He'll be finished just by one touch

I don't like this Lord Ning, too. How about this

We can win over him if we work together, Bro. Tang

Why don't you teach me the pressure point hitting

so I can assist you

This...

is also workable. But you bring the missile to exchange with me

Okay

But you have to release my friends first

Okay

Where is the missile?

I don't have any missiles

But I have another tool

You got something greater than missile?

It's... vibrator!

It can deal with the Lord Ning?

This vibrator is not mainly for Lord Ning

It shall be put in woman's...

She'll feel very comfortable then

Really?

You try with your hand

Hey, no response?

Of course, you haven't turned it on

Feels good? Good... it's good

Alright... vibrator, right?

I should get Autumn this time

You dimwit, you were talking about Lord Ning just now

And you switched to Autumn now. What do you want?

You know nothing, Bro. Lee

Actually we "Four Talents"

had already prepared to be servants in Hua's residence

it doesn't just allow us to hide our talent

But also let us got the chance to woo

the "Four beauties "Fragrances" of Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter"

Especially Autumn

She is definitely my dream girl

I heard that, it's Gong Li

Right

Now I got this vibrator from you

Autumn must surrender

Why don't you teach me the pressure point techniques now?

Okay. Hold your squat firmly

Yes!

Good. Gather your breath in the lower part of your abdomen

Gather all your power at one spot

Which spot?

The one at your finger tip

Yes!

Then use your imagination

to shoot the power from your body

Can you shoot it?

Pretty good Do I have the talent?

You do. You make me rigid now

Can you move? What do you think?

Great Yes

Alright. Now I shall teach you how to release it

Right? Yes

I didn't say I want to learn

What? You...

Bro. Lee, Bro. Lee...

Why don't you learn it?

You've already told me

how to get to Hua's residence and what's good in there

Why should I wait?

You... you are so mean!

We're done

We had really gone back to the Ming Dynasty. What should we do?

We don't have a choice

We should face it as it is

How can you be a pilot then?

The most important thing is to have a spirit of adventure

That's right

Moreover, we like to travel around

And... we were fired anyway

Just you

We were kissing just now

Let's bring you to Hua's residence

and kiss the girls in there, alright?

Great

I heard that Autumn really looks like Gong Li

If we leave four of them here alone, they will die

There is a way

Who wants a nanny? Who wants a nanny?

Bro. Tang, enjoy!

"Maid Recruitment Servant Recruitment"

Let's

Bro. Hua Sau, please give me a chance

Get out!

Bro. Hua Sau... Do I look good?

Fatso, you look handsome in ancient clothes

You also look bustling

Matches well with this watch Nice

So many people are queuing up

For the girls

Do we need to queue, too?

These people are waiting for the ticket. We've paid for privilege

What is it?

Jump the queue

I like it

Good! I like being quick

Go

No one queues for maid's queue

Boys want girls but girls don't want to be

wooed

This buddy looks like Andy Lau

Are you the most handsome guy, Bro. Hua Sau in Hua's residence?

I am the Tang... what?

Everyone needs to pay in here

Why are you winking?

Actually, I want to...

Jump the queue, right?

Look over that way

They are all here to jump the queue

Jumping queue is the most unmoral

Actually we'd like to know where the end of the queue is

Yes

Go to queue up!

Bumbling! Sorry...

Get out! Sorry...

Shit. Act smart

you have to queue anyway Sorry...

Dammit! How did you get as a pilot?

Sorry...

And you are the captain Sorry...

Idiot Sorry...

Get the shit

You got the climatic bubo Sorry...

How far do we need to go?

So cold.

I've forgotten my woolen underwear

Autumn, why are you here?

Madam said we just need one more more male servant

But we can have more maids

Autumn is just so-so

People have different tastes

Even the porno with no mosaic

You need to focus to get a better picture

Fatso, you reacts

Sorry...

I've ejected actually

Autumn!

You look ugly

Same to you

How can you say that?

You think about it. More than hundred people

said she is pretty. How can she remember you?

If you say she is ugly, she'll remember you for her life time

Expert. Expertise

Nice

Bro. Hua Sau, please let me in

Just one vacancy left. I'll give 2 thousand!

2 thousand, once

Enough?

2 thousand, twice... 3 thousand!

3 thousand

All my possession, 4 thousand!

4 thousand

Still have 1 teal

4 thousand and... 1 teal

This chivalrous guy, I beg you

Please give it to me

Otherwise I'll die right in front of you!

Please don't... please don't hack me with the sword

No... I mean don't cut yourself

Calm down. It's just a girl after all...

Madam said we can have one more male servant

That's fine, you don't...

I'm sorry...

Then one more

One. His was forfeited

How about us?

Sorry...

What should we do?

You dimwit, forget about us

You, here!

Stand still Yes

Listen, this is Hua's residence here

Everyone needs to change their surname to Hua when you're here

You are Hua Keung then

It's fine for me. Just worry Madam wont' be happy

Then I'll give you a number instead

67167

Stand still. Don't move

67... 167, I should have taken the name

You run so fast

How dare you?

Too bold! 67167!

Why don't you knee down when you meet Shelia

Shelia? It's not possible

Isn't Shelia acted by Kingdom Yuen?

How can she be so pretty?

It's really written as Shelia

Look at her. Besides she got one blind eye

the rest looks exactly the same as my first love Shelly

How dare you are

You have the guts provoking me

Looks like you have pretty good at Kung Fu

Well. I shall allow you to practice Kung Fu with me

That would be great

My master is the Jade-dragon Fatty Praying Mantis

I also had practiced some Kung Fu before

It's not fair to you

Dimwit!

Fatty Praying Mantis?

Jade-dragon?

Is it for fun?

Girls, I shall guide you to meet Madam

Okay

Miss, do you have mercurochrome?

You bullshit, what kind a image is it?

This man is so ugly

I can tell he's been telling people

that he knows the Praying Mantis moves. So people beat him like that

You deserved

Good, you two

pretended you are women because you are short

I'm afraid I can't

Meal time! Meal time!

Leave me some

Is there any steamed rice?

Go away

You don't have to do that

What so special about rice

You look starving

Nevermind

Hey Bro, do we have doctor in here?

Why do you need one?

Nothing. I am thinking to pull this out when I have time

Don't take it out, you will need it soon

You've made Shelia mad

Just like the one before. If Madam casts her eyes on you

You'll be dead

What do you mean?

Few days ago

there was a fat guy came here, he's only twenties

Madam asked him to give her a massage in her room

He was released after three days and nights

So where is he... now?

That's me

Are you kidding?

I almost exhausted to die

Kid, you shall go back to your room

We'll have a welcome party tonight

It's for you

So nice?

Hua's residence is really a nice place

It hurts

Here is the junior's dorm

What happened?

Everyone looks fierce. Want to beat me?

Who do you think you are?

You are in jail?

It's mandatory to beat you

Do you know we have a lot of treasures in Hua's residence

We need to be searched before we go out every day

If you could sell the goods outside for us

We can spare your life

Then I don't need to die

I like to steal things since I was young

How can I help?

Body-hidden treasure

Oh please. This kind of things...

I knew that. It's old stuff

Cut it off

What? Envy him?

You can do that too

You just need more practice

HOW?

Why do you tighten your butt while standing?

You wouldn't want to know

Actually, you have some potential

We can consider to promote you to A-class male servant

Shelia, don't kidding me

I've been trying very hard to pick this meteor hammer out

and you want to torture me again?

If you go on like this, I quit

Are you quitting?

You have to quit when you say so

Don't just say you quit but come back in no time

Then I better not to quit. So troublesome

The family rule in Hua's residence is you have to bear people's beating

Yet you need to smile after that with no sadness shown

Looks you can stand the torture

If you are loyal to me, I'll promote you to my henchman

You can be free in Hua's residence

Henchman?

She does look like Shelly

It could be a good thing...

if I can get her

Hey 67167. What are you thinking?

I'm thinking of...

I think I want to

You do whatever I ask you to?

I won't hestitate, Shelia

What if I ask you to rape and kill Autumn

Then rape Spring afterwards

and sell all the Fragrances to the brothel

After that you chop all the people in Hua's residence

and make into Roasted pork bun

then force Master Hua to eat it

Are you willing to?

Um... I have no problem with the raping part

But the last parts...

sounds isn't humanity

But for Shelia

Alright! I'll kill them all tonight

I 90'! You

I know you have a strong tendency to violence

I shall beat you seriously

or you'll do bad things in Hua's residence

Shelia...

I treat you with my heart and you trapped me?

I'd rather not to woo girls anymore

What... you still use meteor hammer to hit my head?

I shall take back what I've just said

Am I that lucky

What a coincident. He fell to Master's building?

Forget it. He'll die anyway

Master, the ginseng soup is ready

Master?

Master

Don't play hide-and-seek

This is the perfect time to attack her from the back

How come you thought of making this?

Master?

What are you doing?

I have no secret in my whole life at all. I won't lie to women

I want you

Master, show some respect please

Am I not respecting you?

I asked the weapon expert, Da Vinci, to design this clothes for me

I've spent almost a thousand on it

Come on, have a kiss

Don't move!

What is it?

This is "Stupid if I don't rape you" paint

You can't move if you're shot

Don't come any any closer!

I'm gonna scream!

Don't! I'm going to scream!

This is a mute-milk

You can't talk for six hours if you drink it

Six hours...

It's enough

Hi everyone

In this kind of vulgar movie, you must think

Charlie Cho will rape Autumn

How would Wong Jing treat Charlie Cho nicely?

He would give me the chance first even so

Master!

Who is it?

I am here to tell you

I am the naughty angel

who is famous in double-cross

I catch you at red-handed this time, Master

I'm afraid I need to double-cross you

or I'll tell others for what you've done

You idiot!

Do you know who I am?

I am the imperial tutor, Hua Chun-ying!

I hate people who called Chun-ying in my entire life!

Don't move!

You dare to run!

Why is it?

It's called luck

Where shall I kick?

The balls, of course

Right

Stop!

Did you say you want to save people?

Yes

Go

It's so cold today

Autumn?

Why are you fetched by a junior servant?

Did someone rape you?

Don't worry, Autumn

No one follows us

You guys g0 away!

What is it?

Deep-fried dough stick

People throw up rice, yet he throws up a whole dough stick?

Quite crispy

It would be nice if we have plain congee now

I only have a deep-fried dough stick in three days

Yet you pushed it out, you dimwit

Tell me! Did you do something to Autumn?

Come on. Please say something

You've poisoned her to mute

What did she say. Chok Heung?

I got it! I got it!

Autumn just said

This damn pinched my butt

then tied me up

After that put something big

into my mouth roughly...

Kill him and revenge for me

Right

Correct?

You did it badly and you've made a very wrong guess

She said

Master pinched my butt, then tied me up

and shot the mute-milk into my mouth

And he saved me

Quote out of context?

Let me cut him down!

Autumn, he stuck that big stick on you

and you're still helping him?

No, Autumn tells us to

hold on to him

Spread his legs and let me chop him into two!

Wait!

You stupid, see how big her sword is

Don't mention the balls, it's not good to hurt even the wrapper

So much bullshit?

Autumn keeps protecting him

Will you protect me like this? No, right?

Autumn, if it was me that had saved you, nod your head

See?

You got it now?

Chok Heung, Fan Heung

Seems you both want him die

I just got it wrong

Can he be stupid?

Right

What is your name?

My name is 67167

As you've saved Autumn, you are in our group

In our group!

Then I shall remind you

that there may have "internal Affairs" among these people

What is "internal Affairs"?

"Internal Affairs" is a name of a movie

You can interpret as an undercover

that takes advantage on buddy

and betrays them

He can be thin or fat. Oh...

may be disguise as women

who are the dimwit that get the girls

You! You!

I said you... yet try to hide. Dammit

Are you men?

We got big boobs, how can we be men?

Strip

I'm not gonna strip as there is a man here

If you strip here and prove that you are women

I'll take his eyes out

Why are you here?

It's pretty small, but still a man

So what should I pick now?

Dirt in the nose

Dirt in the ears

Bro., you shouldn'thave to do this to us

You've betrayed us too Yes

Okay, let me finish it

We cannot hide the truth

in this situation

They wouldn't understand

They'll think you are crazy

Actually, I am...

Tang��.

Bo...

hu!

You can speak again

Really? You are Tang Boha?

You kidding?

People laugh at my madness

I like to squeeze people's boobs

I tried my luck because I love Autumn

We drink, send flowers and get you

Nice poem, nice poem

Fans, fans

You got fans

We shouldn't wait

Actually, I am the one with smartness and courage, the Chok Tse-shan

I just want to meet Winter

So I disguised as woman

You...

Why?

People said Chok Tse-shan always flee

after having fun in brothel

Fatso!

Get up, you fatso! Just leave me alone

And who you are?

Me?

I am the one... who admires you secretly

Girls

Master Hua and his two sons

keep taking advantage on us

Madam is so kinky and Shelia is so ferocious

We should get some money and leave this place

We have a way if we have them

Autumn, you are so smart

It's pretty late now

I can't imagine these girls are so smart

and let us sleep on 2-storey bed

They didn't drive us away even they knew we are men

That means they can't flee from us

Right

Let's see what Autumn reading is before we go

My dream man is in front of me finally

"Tang Yin Poems"

So deep inside...

Hua Man and Hua Mou, the sons of Master Hua are the most prurience ones

We have to deceive

all their money today

But how?

But we don't have any advantage

So what do you want, Fatso?

Do you want to come to my bedroom and sleep?

Good idea

You grab her later on

I'll get her first

Why don't you grab her and I get her first?

I am the elder brother!

As you are the elder one, you should yield me

Young masters, what happened to you two?

Winter, I like you so much

If you follow my instructions

I'll ask father to make you to be my mistress

No way!

I'll take you as senior mistress

Although you can't be my wife

it's better than be a mistress

But, mom said

men can't be trusted

unless...

Unless what?

You give me money

I'll give you a thousand

I'll give you 2 thousand

Fighting with me? I'll give 5 thousand!

You thought I don't have that much? I'll give 5 thousand as well!

But I worry you two will hurt your relationship because of me

But if make love with you, I worry that I may get pregnant

How about this... I'll let you caress

Good...

Here?

Where are you going? Where are you going?

My turn it's mine!

What happen to you?

I'm shy

My turn My turn!

It's not funny

What do you want?

You are full of powder

Do you think only you have it?

So... big...

And it's pink

It's by chance!

They keep licking, so much saliva

You have give me deposit, or I'll scream

You little brutes, what are you doing here?

Master

Your dad hasn't got anything, but you have started?

Who is she?

So big, must be Winter

You are in trouble

Master, lighter please

You don't cherish me

You better take off your pants and serve me

or I'll bite you

No way!

You ask for it

I shall bite you!

Dammit

Dad...

Baby Dad

You've bitten what we shall cherish

We don't have anything now Right

You dimwit

Master, are you alright?

Shall I call the Doctor for you?

No, never...

Why did you put such a big ball inside your pants?

Why don't you bring me to the doctor now?

Dimwit...

Dad...

Winter

What's up?

Sorry, it's really painful

You look a bit strange

Am I?

No

What the hell

Two more stitches. Hold on

Tang Bohu?

What do you mean?

It's my work after all

How can't I skip my autograph?

If you have any difficulties, you can cut and sell it

which worth a few thousands

You're so good to me

It's a lifetime, bro. How can I survive?

Let's think in this way... If my fans notice your boobs

they will hold you on

You've deceived ten thousand more from Hua Man and Hua Mou

We shall deceive him fifty thousand at least

That easy?

Of course we have to sacrifice

We ask him out to play mahjong

Then we'll suffer a big loss

Let's draw to see who shall sacrifice

Tang Buha, come and help us

HOW?

Act as Master Hua and rape you?

Good

Me?

You're so bad

How... bad... am I?

What do you need to do?

To let Master watches while she's bathing

I want to watch too

Master

You maids are so tricky

You know Madam goes to the temple to pray

and then ask me out to play mahjong

Master, I am sorry for kicking you last time

It's okay

These are the new

joiners, Chok Heung, Fan Heung, Min Heung and Fan Heung

They are nice too

Round as pearls and smooth as jade

Master, you are really naughty

You worth nothing if guys are not naughty

It's tough for you if I'm not naughty

Who plays mahjong with me?

Three of us

How about you, Autumn

I have boiled some water for bathing

I'll play with you after bathing

Then you girls play. I shall accompany her for bathing

Master, let me play with you

HOW?

Master, let's play unlimited points today

One hundred per point

You need to pay cash if you lose

We'll pay by our body if we lose

What do you think?

Be ready to take off your pants

My nickname is "Mahjong Master"

I've never lost in my entire life

Do you feel scared?

Come on!

We'll see

This time will have something to see

You four are so pretty

Concealed Kong!

I shall make you four naked

Concealed Kong!

See all you four's private parts

Concealed Kong!

Let me show you a bit of mine

:53:

Autumn, how come you shed your pants?

Come on, come on...

Autumn, you should pick up your pants quickly

It's no good if Master sees it

It will be a big lost

You can't see! Close your eyes.

You too. You should move faster

Quick

Master, your turn

"Ready hand"

"Ready hand"

"Ready hand"

You're in trouble now

Concealed Kong!

I didn't call for ready hand, I can win by 3 options

I shall take off all your pants!

Be quick, be quick...

The curtain was blown up

Bamboo 7!

Character 2!

Which one? Bamboo 4 then

Master

Yes?

Time flies, it's your turn again

Get ready to take off your pants!

Dot 3, I win!

What did you concealed in your Kong?

No hurry. I will reveal it slowly,

and you let me see the Dot 2.

Why is it?

Isn't it the fake hand this time?

It's few hundred points all together

Master, you've lost more than a hundred thousand

Fat girl!

You changed my tiles

I didn't

You dare to say you didn't?

Don't grab my hair

Tranny?!

No...

You beat my buddy?

Help

Tranny again!

Hell?"...

Okay Please come and help!

Tranny! Beat you damn tranny.

Master!

You naughty angel again?

Any one help!

Quiet!

You've hit his pressure point again, Captain

I'm sorry

What is it?

Marlboro, want one?

Come on, one per each

What is the use of smoking this?

No use. You're also working as a maid even it's useless

That's right...

Master cannot move now and no one dare to sexual harass us

That's very good

Yes. But we're in bigger trouble

If someone uncovers it, we're done

So we should hide him somewhere

until I know how to release him

You don't know how to release it?

Can I?

Of course you can

So... will he starve to death?

Yes

So we should arrange someone to feed him milk

Feed him milk?

But who?

I got it

Let's use the method just now

Whoever was picked shall feed him

I shall close my eyes first

Humm...

it's... you

Why?

Because you have experience

You go to the firewood room every day regularly

and squeeze some milk from a cow to feed him

Then he won't die in this case

I want to find my wig first

For Master's disappearance... Shelia is very smart

She won't stop until she finds him

Let me deal with Shelia

The most urgent thing is... let's take a cigarette

and burn Master's ball

Great...

No...

No...

Madam has an order

The news about Master's disappearance must not leak out

You guys spread out and search every corner in Hua's Residence

see if there is any suspicious clues

Yes!

Who replied me that loudly?

I did, Shelia

I worry you may not able to hear me if I don't speak up

67167, you're still alive?

Sorry, Shelia

I'm still alive

Where have you been these few days?

Besides thinking the beauty of you

I hid myself and cured my heart

By the way, regarding Master's disappearance

I have something in mind, but...

I'm not sure if I'm qualified to tell

Just tell

Master has been very nice and treats the maids good

Do you think we could find something

if we go to the maid's room?

That makes sense

Okay. Let's go together

Yes!

You're in trouble

What? Debunked?

Shelia

Where are Spring and Autumn?

Shelia, they went out for some business

Only few of us here

and ironing some cheap clothes

What happened?

Nothing. Just check out here

Have you seen Master these few days?

No

Really?

No

I shall search perfunctorily

Will we be search?

I Wish

I'm up here...

You really haven't seen Master? Over here

No

Are you blind? Over here... I'm right here!

It would be nice if she whips me

I mean I'm over

Yes, he is over

You should lose some weight

Will do

Hey, get me up

I shall report to Madam

You no need following me

Dismiss

Yes!

Shelia... Fighting!

Nice. We confess first

so she wouldn't suspect us anymore

Of course, how would she search the place she had already searched

Unless it's a girl

Where are you going?

Nothing. Spring will date with me in the firewood room secretly

Firewood room. That dangerous place...

is the best place to make love

Yes... she needs to cook bird's nest for Madam

So nervous

Aren't you going?

I want to borrow your vibrator

That's right. Men with small penises usually

rely on vibrators

Isn't this vibrator yours?

As I'm in a good mood, besides this vibrator...

I also have "Forever naughty"

You can have better endurance if you spray it

Take it

Thank you!

As we are brothers, I'm happy to help you

You've scared me!

Are you scared?

For what

Gay guys no need to take off their clothes when they make love

Nice

What is it?

You would know if you try

Let's tune it faster

She screams for ecstasy

I shall record a movie clip this time

It's a pity that we can't go online or I shall upload it on the Youtube

I shall earn more than ten thousand likes

Good, the fastest

Feel nice?

Good

What is it?

"Naughty forever"

No, I'm scared

Where is it?

Spring

spring

spring

Madam asked you to bring her the bird's nest quickly

I'll be right there

Be quick

Come on. Don't listen to her

Shit, I can't take it out

Where are you going?

I'll be right back

Don't go, Spring

The "Naughty forever" is missing

The remote and the vibrator are missing

And the girl too

I'm so rigid already. What should I do?

Hey... I'm working! What are you looking for?

So smart, you know how to use a broom to clean the floor

Because I don't know how to

If I eliminate of this mistress for you

Your husband will not look for whore anymore

I shall beat your eyes, so you wouldn't look for whores

I shall beat till your teeth fall

I shall beat till you fall down

I shall beat till you bleed!

I shall beat you...

till you bleed heavily!

Madam, here is your bird's nest

I shall beat you...

What happen to you, Spring?

I'm fine, Madam. I just feel a bit cold

Master disappeared mysteriously

Lord Ning had sent someone to give us a letter

saying he will visit Master the day after tomorrow

Lord Ning is coming the day after tomorrow?

Everyone knows he plans to revolt

He must have something in mind if he visits Master

He is here to check if Master will obey him

Obey him is the same as committing a big rebellion crime

But if Master rejecets him, he'll do something bad to Master immediately

Madam...

I have an idea

What is it?

Let's say... Master is sick?

What if he insists to visit him

Spring!

Are you possessed by evil spirit?

Madam...

I have another idea

What is it?

Madam, your bird's nest is getting cold

You better drink it while it's still warm

Madam, you don't have to worry

I'm here for you... we shall tackle all the problems

I will not let Lord Ning to cast his power in Hua's residence

Shelia...

I heard that Ruthless Scholar has very good internal power

You got to be careful

I'll have it in mind

Madam

What wrong with you?

You gals leave me alone first

Yes, Madam

You should clean up

People in Hua's residence like to play other's boobs

I said we shall pour the leftovers

Look, it's much lighter

Spring, where are you?

Oh Shit!

Spring... Spring

Spring... Spring

Please don't go

Why do you have to go? Please don't

You've striped already anyway

Be nice

What happened?

Damn... you keep the good stuff for yourself?

Run

Madam...

No more chasing, I am here...

Madam...

Pretty nice

It's really nice!

Good

After you or I shall go first?

Whatever... after you

I'll be quick

Why you didn't shave your legs, madam?

Damn! See how I deal with you

when I can move

The design of this vibrator

has a thread attached at the end

so you can pull it out

Why do you put the end with thread in?

Sorry...

I picked this remote on the street

It was meant to be a pair

I've paid a lot of effort to find it in Harajuku

So lucky this time

We are not lucky this time

I can't imagine Madam feels so horny

She is really lonely

Lord Ning will be here tomorrow

I am worried about Shelia can't handle it

Right, even though Shelia looks ferocious

she actually treats us nice

I don't want anything bad happen to her

When Lord Ning comes here tomorrow

We shall...

Good...

I don't get used to it

What do you mean?

If you don't hurry to use it

can I put it back again?

Please

Lord Ning arrived!

Lord, may I know what you are laughing at?

How would I know?

You laugh even you don't know?

I'm a Lord, it shows my power and prestige.

I can laugh whenever I like

Madam Hua, why are you crying?

You are the Lord

How can I show my respect to you if I only cry after you die

I shall cry until you die

to show my respect

Where is your husband?

Does he look down on me?

Our master... he...

Master is here!

67167, don't say something nonsense

I am not. Master is here

I am here

You come out that late.

Are you looking down on me?

No...

Master, Why you come suddenly?

Madam, I haven't haggled with you over

that you had two in a row last night

So you better shut up for me today

You are so smart. You make him drink the mute-milk

Madam, what is "two in a row"?

One Chinese sausage and one smooth sausage

Haven't you eaten that before?

You didn't agree to be my sworn brother last time

You don't give a shit to me

No, it's not

I don't dare to do that

You don't dare? You told people that

you are better than me both on smartness and Kung Fu

And you said your dick is longer than me

I brought Dui Tong-gai and Ruthless Scholar here today

If you have someone in Hua's Residence that is better than them

as well as a longer dick than me

I shall let you flee

Otherwise, I'll inform the Emperor that you insult the Lord

I'll make him kill your whole family!

Alright...

No... Okay...

No... No...

You don't have a choice! Dui Tong-gai, come out!

Show him your talent!

I, Dui Tong-gai, is a civil official under the Lord

I am the Saint of Rhyming Couplets

Please allow me to set the first half of poem

Listen!

Men for the country shall embrace both smartness and Kung Fu ability

Compositions shall follow history, Kung Fu shall include all weapons

in order to show heroism!

Match!

Right, go... match it Thinking... Thinking...

Women for their husband shall embrace her husband twice a day

Composition shall follow his needs, techniques shall be all-rounded

in order to show womanhood!

Nice

This match is too vulgar

but matches well

Then you make another one to beat him

Vulgar guy, who are you

I have no name

I am just a servant in Hua's residence. My servant number is 67167

I studied in no. 131 Argyle Street in Hong Kong

I graduated from The Diocesan Boys' School

I always truant in Chinese lesson and watched movie in Grand Theatre

Now I am just a person who pours the shit in here

Sounds like something

Yes I am

I've learned composing poem from the Master for 3 days

People out there are gossiping about me

They call me the Saint of Rhyming Couplets

So listen up

I shall give you a super first half of poem

Warbler and swallow, green and red

Harmonious everywhere

Matched... matched...

Dimwit and pervert, dirty and horny

Stupidity is in everyone

Done... he made it...

If you don't have new one, it shall be my turn

Ok... Come on

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

How I wonder what you are!

Up above the world so high,

Like a diamond in the sky.

What is it?

It's the language of the Great Britain

It's foreign language. I bet you know it?

How would I know foreign language?

Are you kidding, buddy

Your boss has so many business with foreigners

You are the smartass under him you don't know foreign language?

You better stay in the Hua's residence to pour shit

Do you mean

that our Lord has private businesses with foreigners?

You are the one who say so

We all heard you

That guy said so. You're done

I am the Ruthless Scholar

Anyone among the Hua's residence

dare to fight with me alone?

Fighting is my...

buddies' expertise

You don't look like you are good at fighting

Come on

Beat him!

Beat him! Thanks, Shelia

What's up?

Nothing

It hurts!

Lord, I...

Why... is it?

I just turned up and I didn't have enough of my scripts

Lord, I don't want to...

The suction act!

Autumn

Go to hell!

See how you can suck so happily

You have hidden some assassins to assassinate me

You're dead this time

Lord, please appease. We don't know he is an assassin

Your family will be killed if I report to the Emperor

What can we do to stop you reporting to the Emperor?

I heard that there is a gorgeous girl in Hua's residence

If you give her to me, I'll let it be

That's great!

That's great!

Alright

For the people in Hua's residence and it's our pleasure to please Lord

I have to sacrifice myself

I want Autumn!

Who is she?

You are really gorgeous!

Be ready... I'll come and get the girl after 3 days

You deserve it! So disgrace!

Shelia

You are really here

Are you alright?

How do you know that I'm in the firewood room?

You ancient people usually hide in the firewood room when you got shot

You have nowhere to go

I treated you badly before.

You must take this chance to revenge

Bullshit

I never think about revenger

Especially to those who has C-cup or above

I don't understand what you're talking about

Why are you crying, Shelia?

I cry because I was shot by a poison weapon. I am dying

I don't ever have a chance

to kill the traitor, the Lord Ning, by myself

How come you hate him so much and need to kill him by yourself?

My parents died because of against him. They fell in his trap

I got it

Shelia, you are fainting

It's not good. I need to suck your poison out

No way! I'd rather die!

Don't worry.

I was a member of St. Moseph Ambulance Brigade

You'll be fine after I suck it out

I suppose you agreed with me if you don't answer

I am moving your hands

and taking off your clothes

I am sucking now

You've waken up?

I've saved you but you're beating me?

You... treat me this way

How can I get married?

Shit. I suck only. I didn't do anything to you

If you were a virgin

you are still a virgin now

You made my two spots that big

my husband in future wouldn't like it

Big is nice. I kinda like it

If no one marries you, I'll marry you

Actually, you look like my first sweetheart

That's why I save you

First sweetheart?

Yes. Her name is Shelly

I've been to her home

She has a portrait that looks exactly the same as you

She said you are her great-great-great-grand aunt?

Bullshit

It was not a bullshit

I am not people of this decade

lam a Hong Konger in 2014

2014?

Yes. Look if you don't trust me

You ancient people don't have this in your decade

Do you have a watch?

I trust you

My master Sister Future has the same one as yours

Are you kidding?

She has a hundred-year internal power

She can travel between different spatial

She always goes to buy IV

at the Canton Road in Hong Kong in 2014

Really?

You don't trust me? I shall bring you to her

Great! I'm running out of my cigarettes anyway

What happened to you?

L... maybe because I suck the poison from you

It moves down there that makes me feel very bad

So what should I do?

How about this. You suck the poison out for me

If you got poisoned again, I'll suck it out for you

Such and such

Let me take it out now

Come. Come here

Come on. It'll be quick

You're obscene!

Master

Master

What are you yelling?

It's just 200 sq. Ft. Big in here. You can see it through

Where is your master?

Maybe she had gone for time travel again

Master

St. Loran?

Don't be nonsense. She is Sister Future

Yes. Sister Future, how do you do

You don't have to tell. I know it

You're from 2014

I just come back from there

I bought something and had a meal in Tsui Wah Resturant

I should have asked you to get me a crispy bun with butter

Oh yes, Sister Future

Would you let me know how can my buddies and I

go back to Hong Kong in 2014?

No problem. I can teach you the way to transfer the time

Let's go

But it takes one hundred year to learn

I am already 130 years old

I learnt it successfully 3 years ago

I can teach you if you like

I love it. But is there any faster ways?

The sunspots are very active in these two days

There will be even a magnetic storm from 5pm to 7pm tomorrow

If you go back to where you were when you came here

You may experience the thunder

If you do hit by the thunder

You have 1 over 3 million chance to go back

Sister Future, you are well educated

Because I had studied a master degree

in Physics in City University

Great. 1 in 3 million chance

I can't do anything if I am not hit

Yes you have

Stick these three symbol prints on your bodies

Then can guide you through

Sister Future, you do have talent

Why do you need to study that much?

Sometimes you need to bluff

That sounds right

Actually why do you go back?

There is a tie between you two through generations

You two can be together forever

You

don't have any future if you go back

So mean. I think we should get married

Let's talk about it later

Go ask my master to teach you how to release the pressure point hit

Yes... Sister Future, would you teach me how to release the pressure point hit?

Yes

Release the pressure point hit?

What are you looking at?

This symbol prints is not for you to look at

It's for you to eat

Your master does dear me

It's your luck that you can still move

Master, Lord Ning will come and make Autumn as his wife

What should we do?

It's just sex

Autumn doesn't give me anyway.

Just give it to Lord Ning

Damn Dammit

Master, Shelia is willing to marry Lord Ning for Autumn

Don't be silly. You want to kill him

You'll put me in danger

Lord Ning means to revolt

He will never let go of you, Master

I can take his side

Insidious

Master, you will aid and abet the evil in this case

You don't have to say

I didn't blame you for the "two in a row" issue

It wasn't my will, Master

Master...

You don't have to say. You're not people of my time

Go away

I'm not going anywhere!

You hit his pressure point by accident again

How can I be so careless?

I mean to do it on purpose this time

Damn, who is it? Look!

Where shall I beat?

The balls

Of course

Donnie Yen!

Shelia, the Lord Ning have to die

I think you want to marry him for Autumn

and kill him when you got a chance

But three of you need to leave at 5pm tomorrow

I just worried Shelia can't do it by herself

Madam, we cannot let Shelia to risk alone

I am willing to marry Lord Ning tomorrow

Shelia can hide and kill him when there is a chance

This is a good method

It's a pity that we can't stay and help them

It's the last chance for you

to go back 2014 at 5pm tomorrow

We won't have future. You are not worthy to be give up for me

Actually I can...

wish you success

Hey! Would you two behave?

This is the living room of Hua's residence

We shall prepare

Let's go

Let's see how to get ready

Two in a row

Madam, what's up?

You two have to leave tomorrow anyway

Why don't we...

Here?

You just said it's the living room of the Hua's residence

What am I afraid of? It's my living room anyway

We better go to the room

Right, Master. I said I don't want to, right?

So who comes first?

You come first

Please take care of her

Autumn. Why are you so late?

...

Can I come in?

Yes, please

What's up?

I decided to... sacrifice myself tomorrow. I'm gonna to lure Lord Ning

so Shelia has a chance to kill him

But tonight...

I want to give my first time to...

the one I like

Come on. It's cold

Autumn, listen to me

I don't deserve you to... do it for me...

Actually there are a lot of guys out there who like you

You should save it for them

I have to go tomorrow. Trust me...

You will meet someone famous

and loves you dearly

Really?

Why should I cheat you?

Listen to me. Go back and have a good sleep

You will have a happy life in future. You got it?

Goodnight

If I am not here tonight...

I will also tell her to go

I don't believe it

You have to. I am leaving tomorrow anyway

How about this. Let's take some selfies

Selfies?

Yes

What is it?

Cell phone

Look! You can see yourself

I had sex with Shelia last night

I've used up the whole box of condom

As I know after tonight

I don't have a chance to see her again

Madam also exhausted us last night

because we are running out of condoms...

Take one!

Alright, bros. Let's see our own luck

See you in 2014!

If you are loyal to me.

I'll promote you to be my henchman

I think I do

Fatty Praying Mantis?

Jade-dragon?

Who replied me that loudly?

I did, Shelia

You made my two spots that big

my future husband wouldn't like it

Big is nice. I kinda like it

If no one marries you, I will

What's up?

I'm not going back

Don't be silly. You have to think clearly

I can't leave Shelia alone

Hey, don't be silly...

You don't have any condoms left!

What should we do? Does someone know how to fly an airplane?

No

We do

Where did you go?

You've disappeared for exactly a minute

You've scared us

Where is Captain Cool?

We can only wish him luck

Stop it. Let's get work

Yes, yes

Go back to your work too

Be nice...

Come in later

You have control, Bro.

You dimwit

I shall say that

Lord Ning has arrived!

Welcome, Lord!

Where is the Lord?

The Lord is not coming

He worries that you have set up here

He sent me here to fetch Autumn

Tell her to come out!

You can't hit my lethal point

The suction act!

Madam

Shelia! Count on you!

There is one left

I shall suck you here!

Let me do it! Pepper!

You again?

The suction act!

I will regret it if I don't rape you!

Why did you say that after you shot it?

I was worried that you wouldn't let me shoot if I mentioned it before.

Smile

The suction...

My Tong's overlord spear

shall insert to your lethal point, your anal this time

Shit, it's the anal

How difficult could it be?

I'll die even if you use chopstick to insert my anal

Tang Bohu!

Actually I'm not Tang Bohu. I am fake

He is the real Tang Bohu

Shit

You don't have to run this fast

Go!

Are... you really Tang Bohu?

I am

You are Autumn?

Yes

Autumn

First bow to heaven and earth!

Second bow to both parents!

Couple bow to each other!

Send to the bridal room!

Bro. Lee

I can marry Autumn today

I shall be thankful to you, Bro. Lee

You're welcome

You wouldn't come and help if you don't have any advantage

Anyway Yes

Actually I have a fair deal that I'd like to discuss with you

I'm not sure if you're interested

Please tell, Bro. Lee

Shelia is a good girl

Congratulations...

Autumn is also nice

Yes...

But I have something that I should tell

What is it, Bro. Lee?

Autumn came to my room with full of love in her eyes

I've let her go

What shall I say?

Let's exchange wife!

Bullshit!

They must very happy. They're in pairs

Bodhisattva, please give me a handsome man

My wish is granted. Thank you!

You come to see me in your wedding night

I'm so touched

Madam, it is a very big misunderstanding!

Please feel free to sit

I go to get some drinks in the kitchen

The second rich generation

Shelly, this ancient lady looks really like you

She is my great-great-great-grand auntie?

She is a chivalrous woman in Ming Dynasty

How about the one next to her?

He is my great-great-great-grand uncle

How come he dressed so funny?

Let's... go to my room to start the tutorial

Let's