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1
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You drive everybody around you batshit.
2
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If I ever hear that
you have upset him...
3
00:00:05,370 --> 00:00:07,879
I will hunt you down.
4
00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:11,625
Well kids, family meeting.
5
00:00:11,626 --> 00:00:13,289
Jackie and I are having a baby.
6
00:00:13,290 --> 00:00:14,949
And Mom, you're okay with it?
7
00:00:14,950 --> 00:00:18,216
Of course, yeah, yeah.
It's a bl... blessed surprise.
8
00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:20,499
This Saturday,
9
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,169
Robert is marrying someone else.
10
00:00:22,170 --> 00:00:23,879
I'm getting married and having a baby
11
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,009
with somebody that I haven't
even known for a year.
12
00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:28,559
You seem so happy, in love.
13
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,770
Yeah, maybe it's just
pre-wedding jitters.
14
00:00:31,750 --> 00:00:33,839
Why don't you want to get married again?
15
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,519
It didn't work out. I don't
have to do it again.
16
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,119
Besides, the best part of being our age
17
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,230
is now, we get to do
whatever the hell we want.
18
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,782
Another thing I get to learn about you.
19
00:00:50,020 --> 00:00:52,979
I think, basically,
we're just circling back,
20
00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:55,379
so we can make sure that
we've nailed down our best
21
00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:57,079
reach, targets, and safeties.
22
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,079
Cool beans.
23
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,049
That said, why don't we table schools
24
00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:03,219
and change focus a bit?
25
00:01:03,220 --> 00:01:05,899
Oh, his-his calc grades? I
know that they'd slipped,
26
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,119
but I've been working with him a bunch.
27
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,679
And I think his last two scores,
28
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,919
they were... they were up.
29
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,659
And I've been yelling at him a lot.
30
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:15,063
No, no, no. His grades are solid.
31
00:01:15,064 --> 00:01:19,459
It's his college essay that
may be a tad problematic.
32
00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:22,988
Scandal of the 21st Century."
33
00:01:22,989 --> 00:01:25,741
He actually makes some cogent points.
34
00:01:25,742 --> 00:01:27,951
The passage likening
adjunct professors to
35
00:01:27,952 --> 00:01:30,939
"getting surgery from the
guy who mops up the O.R."
36
00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:34,299
was sublime, but it's really
the general hostility
37
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:36,719
and recurrent f-bombs that may scare off
38
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,920
your targets and safeties.
39
00:01:38,921 --> 00:01:40,544
Not that he won't get in somewhere.
40
00:01:40,545 --> 00:01:42,592
I may have some pull
at my old alma mater,
41
00:01:42,593 --> 00:01:43,759
Shippensburg.
42
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,959
Nice little town. You like cows, Tom?
43
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,102
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
44
00:01:54,103 --> 00:01:56,549
Are you out of your frickin' mind?
45
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:57,849
I'm just being honest.
46
00:01:57,850 --> 00:02:00,239
I'm really not into the
idea of college right now.
47
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,459
You don't have to be into the
idea of college now, genius.
48
00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:05,979
You have till September
to kindle that flame.
49
00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:07,899
You're gonna write another
essay immediately,
50
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,999
do you hear me? Totally dead serious.
51
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,409
What, "Scandal of the 21st... "
When did you suddenly
52
00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:13,999
become such a cynic?
53
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,259
I'm allowed to have a free mind!
54
00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:19,219
Then use it to pull your
head out of your ass!
55
00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,080
Okay, I have class.
56
00:02:21,089 --> 00:02:23,924
- Of course.
- No college, no car.
57
00:02:23,925 --> 00:02:27,199
I don't understand where
this is coming from.
58
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:28,339
Did I miss something?
59
00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:31,339
No. This is shiny and brand new.
60
00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:35,519
I mean, is he under the delusion
that college is optional?
61
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,540
I don't think so.
62
00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:39,739
But I think we should
give him some space.
63
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,169
Because if we ride him now,
he's just gonna dig in more.
64
00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:43,839
Oh, no, I disagree completely.
65
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,629
I think we need to ride
him now immediately.
66
00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,499
Those deadlines are coming up.
67
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:51,319
It's our job as parents
68
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,299
to kick the door down
and lob in tear gas.
69
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,669
Possibly true, but let's be realistic.
70
00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:58,179
I looked into his face back there,
71
00:02:58,180 --> 00:03:00,000
and I saw the eyes of
a taxidermied mule.
72
00:03:00,002 --> 00:03:03,004
I think we should just
back off for a few days.
73
00:03:03,005 --> 00:03:04,859
I really... I don't know,
Robert, I don't know.
74
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:06,799
If we play it cool, we
buy some street cred.
75
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:07,960
That's my opinion.
76
00:03:09,060 --> 00:03:13,299
Okay, we can hold off.
77
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:15,499
But, you know, briefly. That's all.
78
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,959
Then we calmly sit him down,
79
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,919
and we clock him with a lead pipe.
80
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:20,309
He goes to college. We win.
81
00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:22,279
Okay. God, sorry. I gotta go.
82
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,879
- High-five on co-parenting.
- All right.
83
00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,330
High... right here.
84
00:03:26,529 --> 00:03:28,999
A month ago, he was
talking about Syracuse
85
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,439
or maybe even Colby.
86
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,519
The kid who can barely make
his own toaster waffles,
87
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,839
suddenly he's an anti-college radical?
88
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,379
I remember having a
crush on Abbie Hoffman
89
00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:38,919
when I was in the sixth grade.
90
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,296
You know what? I should never,
91
00:03:40,297 --> 00:03:42,279
never have agreed with
Robert to back off.
92
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,499
We gotta get on his ass now.
93
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:47,659
Co-parenting after a divorce is a sham.
94
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:50,919
It's overhyped, "united front" bullshit.
95
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,249
Yeah, especially when one
parent, in this case me,
96
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,179
is 100% right.
97
00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:58,339
How are you? Everything
the same with Cole?
98
00:03:58,340 --> 00:04:00,219
Yep. Still hates my guts.
99
00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:02,399
You raise a son, you think
you've been a good mother,
100
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,739
and now he acts like he
escaped from a cult.
101
00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:07,539
Plus, work sucks.
102
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,679
I think maybe I don't give a shit
103
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,209
about people's problems anymore.
104
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:13,799
With a...
105
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,799
dollop of contempt on the side.
106
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,979
It's, uh...
107
00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:20,910
I'm fucked up.
108
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,179
Oh, you poor thing.
109
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,419
You're waiting for me to say
something wise, aren't you?
110
00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:28,924
- Mm-hmm.
- Hmm...
111
00:04:28,925 --> 00:04:30,910
- Anything?
- I'm so... Nope.
112
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:37,959
So, how are things going with
Mrs. Dufresne Number 2?
113
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,289
Oh, she's still on bed rest.
114
00:04:40,290 --> 00:04:41,750
She'll be fine.
115
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,419
I loved being pregnant.
116
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,589
I did, too.
117
00:04:47,590 --> 00:04:49,359
I still have fond
memories of throwing up
118
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,790
in a trashcan on Third Avenue.
119
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,720
Everything just felt...
120
00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:59,229
Yeah, just in alignment.
121
00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:01,289
You're a little jealous. That's normal.
122
00:05:01,290 --> 00:05:03,239
Oh-ho, wrong, wrong!
123
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,159
No, no, no. I'm not saying I'd
want to go through it again.
124
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:06,549
Would you?
125
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:09,179
I'm, um, not sure we have
a vote at this point.
126
00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:12,099
Trust me, I have zero baby envy.
127
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:14,139
The only envy I have is for the parent
128
00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:15,799
who can find their daughter's Sit-Upon.
129
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,472
Lila is driving me nuts.
130
00:05:17,473 --> 00:05:20,429
A Sit-Upon? What the fuck?
131
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:22,359
She made it in Brownies
like a hundred years ago.
132
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,439
It's basically like this
cushion that they decorate
133
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,099
with like pom-poms and rickrack.
134
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,980
And so at meetings they can, you know,
135
00:05:27,984 --> 00:05:30,169
- sit... upon. That's correct.
- Upon.
136
00:05:30,170 --> 00:05:32,299
And we nicknamed it the
"petri dish pillow,"
137
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,379
because it just got so
freaking disgusting
138
00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:35,530
and filthy over the years.
139
00:05:35,533 --> 00:05:38,709
So, anywho, the big reunion's coming up.
140
00:05:38,710 --> 00:05:40,869
Ten little girls in my modest home.
141
00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:41,912
Guess what's mandatory.
142
00:05:41,913 --> 00:05:43,439
Should I call for a chopper
143
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,125
and some oxygen tanks?
144
00:05:45,126 --> 00:05:46,289
What?
145
00:05:46,290 --> 00:05:49,462
Oh, I just got it! That was a good one!
146
00:05:49,463 --> 00:05:51,507
Douchebag.
147
00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:55,819
Okay, I have a question.
148
00:05:55,820 --> 00:05:58,179
Any chance you're ordering all
this shit out of boredom?
149
00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:01,516
- Or just to torture me?
- Stop being nuts.
150
00:06:01,517 --> 00:06:04,129
- You almost done?
- No, I'm not almost done.
151
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:05,879
Look at all this lumber!
152
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,129
Is this a bed tray or a cattle fence?
153
00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:10,719
I am so excited!
154
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,879
This thing has five adjustable angles,
155
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,669
built-in USB-powered fan,
156
00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:15,839
worry-free cup groove,
157
00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:18,241
and... a welcome guide.
158
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,129
Sounds like God's gift.
159
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,870
If only God had included enough screws.
160
00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:27,799
- Here you go.
- Oh, thank you.
161
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,419
See you tomorrow.
162
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,709
Look, Hon. You'll never guess.
163
00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:33,379
Amazon Prime.
164
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,589
My magnetic index cards!
165
00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:37,261
Whoo!
166
00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:42,599
What's wrong with this picture, Diane?
167
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,999
Never mind. I'll tell you.
168
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,709
We have an imbalanced circle rack.
169
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,619
Oh, no!
170
00:06:50,620 --> 00:06:51,899
As any child can see,
171
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:54,249
there's an inordinate
amount of gaps and bunches.
172
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:56,459
Each item should be spaced
out proportionately.
173
00:06:56,460 --> 00:06:57,859
Otherwise, what do we have?
174
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:00,129
Oh, gee, Mimi, I'm stumped.
175
00:07:00,130 --> 00:07:01,709
Can you teach me?
176
00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:03,589
Non-symmetrical anarchy.
177
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,749
- Oh.
- Now do your job.
178
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:08,250
This isn't Marshalls.
179
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,549
"Gaps and bunches."
180
00:07:15,550 --> 00:07:17,209
Give me a break.
181
00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:20,620
I don't see one fucking gap or bunch.
182
00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:24,549
Oh, terrific.
183
00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:26,410
Like I don't have enough to deal with.
184
00:07:27,019 --> 00:07:30,379
Sweetie, I'm having a shitty day.
185
00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:32,039
Is this really necessary?
186
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,525
Fuck off, Myrtle.
187
00:07:33,526 --> 00:07:35,402
Goddamn you!
188
00:07:35,403 --> 00:07:38,113
Get back here you little wise ass!
189
00:07:38,114 --> 00:07:40,999
Don't you dare! Delroy! Stop!
190
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,284
Ah!
191
00:07:43,285 --> 00:07:45,339
- Settle down, settle down.
- Ah! Ah!
192
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,290
- Come on, Diane.
- Ugh.
193
00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:50,490
Dump her in the hole.
194
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:53,580
Just wasting my time.
195
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:56,519
A bet's a bet. You owe me ten bucks.
196
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,579
No fair, no fair. You set me up.
197
00:07:58,580 --> 00:08:00,549
You knew I wouldn't
know it was suspended
198
00:08:00,550 --> 00:08:02,589
for All Saints' Day.
199
00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:03,959
Olivia, dear,
200
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,589
is there alternate side of
the street parking today?
201
00:08:06,590 --> 00:08:08,239
No. All Saints' Day.
202
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:09,249
Thank you.
203
00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:11,019
- You mean, "A-ha!"
- Mmmm.
204
00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:14,039
- You mean, "I'm a gloater."
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
205
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,169
You know what? This is for
you, my trusty soldier.
206
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:18,359
Why don't you go buy yourself a hat?
207
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,739
Gee, big spender!
208
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:21,979
Here, Frances. I don't
want his dirty money.
209
00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:23,349
No, no, no. It's yours.
210
00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:25,280
It's yours, fair and
square. You enjoy it.
211
00:08:25,286 --> 00:08:27,662
Okay, I just wanna quickly ask Olivia.
212
00:08:27,663 --> 00:08:30,639
Obviously, Nia has a way
to go before college.
213
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,899
She's only four months old. All right?
214
00:08:31,900 --> 00:08:33,209
Here we go again. Another victim.
215
00:08:33,210 --> 00:08:36,879
And I know, I know how you feel
about your beloved Michigan.
216
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,399
Easy. Leading the witness.
217
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,779
Hypothetically speaking,
218
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,799
it's the future; it's Senior year.
219
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,719
And she says to you, "Mom, I
don't wanna go to college."
220
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,999
- This is an unfair comparison.
- Listen.
221
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,959
Do you... do you back off?
222
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,249
Or... or...
223
00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,563
do you try to persuade her otherwise?
224
00:08:54,564 --> 00:08:56,779
Are you kidding me?
She has no say in it.
225
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:59,379
She's wearing a Wolverines
onesie as we speak.
226
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:01,419
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
227
00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:02,999
Slide it on over.
228
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,669
Ten clams.
229
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,577
Give 'em to me.
230
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:25,379
Oh, say, what'd you just blow up there?
231
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:28,939
A Benz C63 S.
232
00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:30,589
Any particular reason?
233
00:09:30,590 --> 00:09:32,289
He was a snitch.
234
00:09:32,290 --> 00:09:34,000
No one likes a snitch.
235
00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:41,669
Hey, have you seen Lila's Sit-Upon?
236
00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:42,919
Her what?
237
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,249
You know, the... her petri dish pillow.
238
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:47,159
Uh-uh. Nope.
239
00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:57,539
Tom, you have to go to college.
240
00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:00,439
Mom, look what you just did!
241
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,399
Oh, God, I'm sorry. Jeez, sue me.
242
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,819
I told you. I'm taking some time off.
243
00:10:04,820 --> 00:10:06,749
I have that right.
244
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:09,749
Well, time off for what?
245
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:12,169
Are there any specific plans
246
00:10:12,170 --> 00:10:14,839
or interests you wanna pursue?
247
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,319
I don't... I don't know.
248
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,816
I might try and open a record store.
249
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:24,640
Okay. All right.
250
00:10:24,650 --> 00:10:26,999
Here's the headline, buddy.
251
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:31,129
You're 17. You know nothing.
252
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,499
But do know this.
253
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,169
You are going to college in the fall,
254
00:10:34,170 --> 00:10:37,749
and you're gonna start working
on the essay immediately.
255
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,079
- End of conversation.
- I'm not!
256
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,799
- End of conver...
- I'm not going! It's a rip-off!
257
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,699
Even Jackie says it's a waste of time.
258
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:44,919
She never went to college.
259
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,579
She makes crazy money.
260
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:49,930
And meanwhile, you work in a bird shop.
261
00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,749
What? Oh, really?
262
00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:56,450
Well, that bird shop pays for your...
263
00:10:57,430 --> 00:10:59,999
Grand Thief Bloodbath!
264
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,019
Doesn't it?
265
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,697
Hey, it's Robert. Leave a message.
266
00:11:06,698 --> 00:11:08,739
Hey, it's me. Listen, uh,
267
00:11:08,740 --> 00:11:09,959
I have to talk to you. It's urgent,
268
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,459
and I really don't wanna
do it over the phone,
269
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:14,997
so just... just call me ASAP, okay?
270
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,709
_
271
00:11:26,290 --> 00:11:28,459
Oh, dude...
272
00:11:28,460 --> 00:11:31,249
Fuck you and Jeff Bezos.
273
00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:37,629
Surprise!
274
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,979
Nice ears, Helen Keller!
275
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:42,607
Why are you here?
276
00:11:42,608 --> 00:11:44,879
Oh, God, it's like
hugging a stuffed ape!
277
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,499
Any life in there, Sasquatch?
278
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,669
Larry, go get Robert's
present from the back seat!
279
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:53,319
That a boy! Let's go!
280
00:11:57,380 --> 00:12:00,416
- Oh! Excuse me.
- Sir, can you...
281
00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:01,959
keep a...
282
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,169
shorter lead, a shorter lead!
283
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:05,669
Jesus!
284
00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:07,629
So off we go, okay?
285
00:12:07,630 --> 00:12:09,499
Ohio to Parsippany.
286
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,479
Ten hours, non-stop.
287
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,979
I'm car sick, 'cause Larry
here rides the brakes
288
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,699
like he's humping a French bulldog.
289
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:17,100
So we finally make it to corp.
290
00:12:17,101 --> 00:12:19,359
Now, bear in mind, the
DM all but promised me
291
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,140
this promotion back in,
I think it was, June.
292
00:12:21,146 --> 00:12:24,419
So, I walk in, and who's sitting there?
293
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:28,695
Drumroll... Scott fuckin' Wong.
294
00:12:28,696 --> 00:12:30,738
No!
295
00:12:30,739 --> 00:12:33,283
Wait. Do you know Scott Wong?
296
00:12:33,284 --> 00:12:34,992
No, but the way she tells a story...
297
00:12:34,993 --> 00:12:36,779
Go on, Cathy. Tell me
what happened next.
298
00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:38,179
So, you have to realize,
299
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:40,209
back when I was desk clerk at La Quinta,
300
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:42,799
Scott Wong was a glorified pillow-biter,
301
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,339
a colossal suck-up, okay?
302
00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:48,359
So anyway, in the end, all right,
303
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,639
I drove 600 miles to learn
304
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:53,459
that Scott Wong wormed
his way into Wyndham,
305
00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:56,919
blew corp, and sabotaged my promotion.
306
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,199
So here we are.
307
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,779
A couple of weary travelers
308
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,849
dropping by to say howdy.
309
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:03,889
Unbelievable.
310
00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:06,459
Yeah, that story tracks like a dream.
311
00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:08,579
When do you guys eat lunch around here?
312
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,879
You know, my blood sugar
is in the toilet.
313
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,999
Oh, don't worry, Robby can
go get you something.
314
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,749
Just tell him what you want.
315
00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:17,499
You know what? I really like this one.
316
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:19,620
I think you finally picked a winner!
317
00:13:19,621 --> 00:13:21,164
Good for you, champ!
318
00:13:21,165 --> 00:13:22,874
Hey, Larry!
319
00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:24,739
Lose the muffs, okay?
320
00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:26,129
Join the human race.
321
00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:28,289
We're gonna have a picnic!
322
00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:31,424
Never gonna get a space like this again!
323
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,499
Ha-ha-ha!
324
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,629
He found your crowbar, honey!
325
00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:47,357
- Evidence.
- Mm-hmm.
326
00:13:47,358 --> 00:13:51,289
Delroy, shall we watch it
again for shits and giggles?
327
00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:53,197
Why not?
328
00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:57,939
Hmmm, what's wrong with
this picture? Anyone?
329
00:13:57,940 --> 00:14:00,289
Well, for one thing,
those circle racks have
330
00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:02,700
a lot of gaps and bunches.
331
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,918
- Weird.
- Give me a break.
332
00:14:06,919 --> 00:14:09,289
You know, you really messed up my ankle
333
00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:11,589
when you slammed me into that floor.
334
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:13,289
I'm in a lot of pain.
335
00:14:13,290 --> 00:14:14,339
Oh, please.
336
00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:16,839
Pop a Motrin and go home to your cats.
337
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,839
All right, I've had it with you, Missy.
338
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,669
I press one button, and your
ass will be on a chain gang.
339
00:14:21,670 --> 00:14:23,749
- Yawn.
- That's it!
340
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:26,999
That is it! It's time to grow up...
341
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,022
Taylor.
342
00:14:28,023 --> 00:14:30,775
I happen to know someone
who's in jail for stealing.
343
00:14:30,776 --> 00:14:33,459
And believe me, it's no square dance.
344
00:14:33,460 --> 00:14:37,198
You need to wise up, get
a job, be responsible.
345
00:14:37,199 --> 00:14:39,959
I had a job.
346
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,279
At the Disney Store.
347
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,779
I hated it.
348
00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:46,319
Interesting. Why?
349
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,999
It didn't pay well?
350
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,169
Having to sell puppets all day?
351
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:52,619
That stupid grasshopper in a
top hat with a little cane,
352
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:53,999
and he's got that silly smirk?
353
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,259
It's a cricket. Jiminy.
354
00:14:56,260 --> 00:14:59,596
Well, excuse me for not being
an entomologist, Delroy.
355
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,919
No, I just...
356
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,799
couldn't act all...
357
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,354
fake and happy and be nice to people.
358
00:15:08,355 --> 00:15:10,816
So they fired me.
359
00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:14,700
Yeah.
360
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:19,139
It's hard, huh?
361
00:15:19,140 --> 00:15:21,730
Pretending to be cheery
when you're miserable?
362
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,549
Yeah.
363
00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:29,293
I understand.
364
00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:33,963
Wasn't this a fun idea? Eating
outside in the fresh air?
365
00:15:33,964 --> 00:15:35,549
In the dead of winter.
366
00:15:35,550 --> 00:15:37,799
A close-minded person might've
thought it was fuckin' insane.
367
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,739
I'm so happy to be out of that car.
368
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,637
It really started to smell bad.
369
00:15:41,638 --> 00:15:43,549
Turns out there was a
mouse in the heat core!
370
00:15:43,550 --> 00:15:44,919
Cooked like a meatball!
371
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,039
- Gross!
- Yeah!
372
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,599
Well, I'm glad to get outside.
373
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:49,379
I'm finally allowed to
move around a little more.
374
00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:51,379
Mmm, yeah, I always wanted kids.
375
00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:53,859
I was diagnosed with a caustic uterus.
376
00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:55,339
Labs came back and turned out I had
377
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:56,899
more acid than a truck battery.
378
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,599
Nature in its infinite wisdom.
379
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,999
And Larry's sperm, what
little there was of it,
380
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,589
didn't have a chance. It was
like swimming into a bonfire.
381
00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:05,939
But, you know, that's life.
382
00:16:05,940 --> 00:16:07,538
You either get Wonged
out of a promotion,
383
00:16:07,539 --> 00:16:09,059
or end up spending half your paycheck
384
00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:10,370
taking care of Dad at the nursing home.
385
00:16:10,375 --> 00:16:12,129
There it is.
386
00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:13,499
Finally.
387
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,499
The tedious wind-up has ended.
388
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,423
- What?
- You damn well know
389
00:16:17,424 --> 00:16:19,499
I pay for everything
when it comes to Dad.
390
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,133
- Oh?
- The private room,
391
00:16:21,134 --> 00:16:23,399
the food upgrade, the
electric wheelchair,
392
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,265
that fucking balloon-twisting
idiot at casino night.
393
00:16:26,266 --> 00:16:28,709
Sweat equity, Robert.
You can look it up.
394
00:16:28,710 --> 00:16:30,479
The sweat equity that it takes
395
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,139
to wheel him into the Sunshine Room,
396
00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:33,799
so he can see the fucking goldfish!
397
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,484
Or push him outside, so he
can watch the trucks go by!
398
00:16:36,485 --> 00:16:38,959
Or the sweat equity it
takes to hold his penis,
399
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,239
so he can piss in a cup
without baptizing the walls!
400
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,499
What the fuck is wrong
with you, you psycho?
401
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:46,709
That is a job for a male nurse, Cathy!
402
00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:48,539
Keep your hands off Dad's penis!
403
00:16:49,290 --> 00:16:51,122
You need to crack your wallet, Shylock.
404
00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:52,664
All right? If I wanna get robbed,
405
00:16:52,665 --> 00:16:53,919
I'll go to Tijuana.
406
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,779
Look, okay, there's something to be said
407
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:57,290
for putting real time in, Robby.
408
00:16:57,297 --> 00:16:58,965
Just stay out of it, Jackie.
You don't understand
409
00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:01,169
what's happening here.
This shit pre-dates you.
410
00:17:01,170 --> 00:17:02,589
It's a fucking shakedown!
411
00:17:02,590 --> 00:17:04,879
Am I right or am I wrong, Larry?
412
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,389
Leave him out of it!
413
00:17:21,905 --> 00:17:23,782
Do you know the gas, time,
and effort that goes into
414
00:17:23,783 --> 00:17:26,259
bringing him an Oreo Blast from Sonic
415
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:27,739
and hosing him down afterwards?
416
00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:29,871
Dairy gives him explosive diarrhea.
417
00:17:29,872 --> 00:17:31,019
I know!
418
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:32,959
I should have you fucking arrested!
419
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,292
Robert?
420
00:17:34,293 --> 00:17:37,671
Oh, he goes. He goes!
421
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:43,399
Robert?
422
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,699
Hey. What's going on?
423
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:49,140
Hey, mildly curious...
where's your cell phone?
424
00:17:49,141 --> 00:17:51,435
Um, I don't know. It's around somewhere.
425
00:17:51,436 --> 00:17:53,319
Oh, that's perfect.
426
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,549
Okay, well, can you step in here
for a second, so you and...
427
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:57,839
Is that who I think it is?
428
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,939
Well, strike up the band, Barbie's here!
429
00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:03,189
It was an ambush. You
should've called first.
430
00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:04,899
Hey, Boney Maroney,
431
00:18:04,900 --> 00:18:07,209
I want a hug. Can I get a hug?
432
00:18:07,210 --> 00:18:09,499
Come on!
433
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:15,319
Cathy. Oh, Cathy, Cathy.
434
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,539
What a... what a... what
a disturbing surprise.
435
00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:21,019
You're telling me. I
thought we got rid of you.
436
00:18:21,020 --> 00:18:24,019
But like they say, even a blind
dog finds its way home, right?
437
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:27,670
Yes, yes. And recalls fondly why
it left in the first place.
438
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:31,299
Mmmm!
439
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:35,129
You are right, these
Harvest Bowls are so good!
440
00:18:35,130 --> 00:18:36,249
Mm-hmm.
441
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:37,897
But aren't they like a million calories?
442
00:18:37,898 --> 00:18:39,983
Not if you get it without the rice.
443
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,943
You're a genius, and I love you.
444
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:46,948
Thank you.
445
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:51,359
Damn, you got Sweetgreen?
446
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,912
I'm on the walkie, you know.
447
00:18:52,913 --> 00:18:54,331
Hmm.
448
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:59,460
I don't know what to
say anymore, Taylor.
449
00:18:59,461 --> 00:19:01,212
I'm worn out.
450
00:19:01,213 --> 00:19:02,505
Who is this old man?
451
00:19:02,506 --> 00:19:04,131
My grandfather.
452
00:19:04,132 --> 00:19:05,883
But you can't live with me anymore.
453
00:19:05,884 --> 00:19:07,927
You're gonna have to
go to Gail and Andy's.
454
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:09,888
- If they'll take you.
- In Harrisburg?
455
00:19:09,889 --> 00:19:12,579
That is so mean! I can't move there!
456
00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:15,018
Well, I'm sorry. You
had enough warnings.
457
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,479
No. Wrong approach, Grandpa.
458
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,659
This is a good girl here.
459
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,919
She needs guidance, not warnings.
460
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,330
See this?
461
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:28,690
Voilà!
462
00:19:28,699 --> 00:19:30,533
Absolved.
463
00:19:30,534 --> 00:19:32,535
She's innocent.
464
00:19:32,536 --> 00:19:36,289
Now, you apologize to her about
that Gail and Andy shit.
465
00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:37,839
And then you know what you're gonna do?
466
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,249
You are gonna take her
to the third floor,
467
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,719
and you're gonna buy her
468
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,589
that leather jacket that
she tried to steal.
469
00:19:43,590 --> 00:19:46,007
It's called communication.
470
00:19:48,885 --> 00:19:51,430
You have it in her size?
471
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,719
So anyway, I told that cop.
472
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:55,799
I said, "Fine, come on,
473
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,470
- give me the ticket."
- Hey, Frances.
474
00:19:57,477 --> 00:19:59,061
Oh, hey, Jackie.
475
00:19:59,062 --> 00:20:00,849
"But I'm gonna fight it,
476
00:20:00,850 --> 00:20:03,019
"and I'm gonna tell the judge
477
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:04,289
that you were staring at my crotch."
478
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:05,959
Isn't Cathy fun?
479
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,419
Oh.
480
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:09,879
Gosh, Cathy is so many things.
481
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:14,839
It's... it's hard to whittle it
down to just one imprecise word.
482
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,339
Hmm.
483
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,165
Wow, you finally ditched
that smelly Lustre-Creme?
484
00:20:19,166 --> 00:20:22,559
I think they stopped making
Lustre-Creme in 1953.
485
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:23,619
Much more your era.
486
00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:26,379
Say, is it me, or did you
shrink an inch or two?
487
00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:30,459
Nah, it's just those flashy,
money-maker stilettos you're wearing.
488
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:32,262
We all gotta sell our
ass somehow, right?
489
00:20:33,130 --> 00:20:35,679
Just their little dance.
490
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,999
Larry, it's garbage!
Drag it to the curb!
491
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,840
What'd you bring it in
here for, show and tell?
492
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:43,099
Jeez. Hi, Larry. How you doin'?
493
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,350
But I guess I assume that's
sort of a dumb question.
494
00:20:45,358 --> 00:20:48,194
He can't hear you.
Metallica, full blast.
495
00:20:48,195 --> 00:20:51,039
Okay, okay. Can I grab
you for a few minutes?
496
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,859
- Me?
- No.
497
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:56,999
But you know what, Cathy?
Tell Jackie that fun story
498
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,499
about how you got kicked
out of the dinner theater
499
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,620
for stalking Tom Wopat.
500
00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:06,378
Oh, anyway, the lights had gone
out during halftime, right?
501
00:21:06,379 --> 00:21:10,079
She has no business sharing
her opinions with him.
502
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,459
It's disrespectful to us,
503
00:21:11,460 --> 00:21:13,669
but especially me, his mother.
504
00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:15,879
Just find this hard to believe.
505
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,182
What does he claim she said exactly?
506
00:21:18,183 --> 00:21:21,079
Oh, um, you know, "Well, Jackie
says college is a waste of time.
507
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,669
Jackie never went to college,
and Jackie makes crazy money."
508
00:21:23,670 --> 00:21:24,731
Why would he make it up?
509
00:21:24,732 --> 00:21:26,979
Okay, so clearly something was said,
510
00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:28,899
and we don't know...
511
00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:30,419
Wait a second.
512
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:32,197
How did this conversation even happen?
513
00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:34,879
Are you winding him up?
514
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:37,076
Yeah, we-we agreed to lay off.
515
00:21:37,077 --> 00:21:39,089
Well, I don't...
516
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:43,917
I don't know that we
necessarily agreed to lay off.
517
00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:47,579
We said briefly, so
I was... I was brief.
518
00:21:47,580 --> 00:21:49,379
That's bullshit and you know it.
519
00:21:49,380 --> 00:21:50,769
You and I have a clear understanding
520
00:21:50,770 --> 00:21:52,379
when it comes to these kids, Frances.
521
00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:54,802
It's an alliance, and you're
fucking around with that.
522
00:21:54,803 --> 00:21:56,749
All right, well, you know what?
It needs to be dealt with,
523
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:57,999
so let's figure it out.
524
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,759
Just don't worry about it.
525
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,419
He's going to college in the fall.
526
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,061
You bet.
527
00:22:04,750 --> 00:22:07,189
Let me talk to Jackie.
528
00:22:07,190 --> 00:22:09,734
She's all yours... as soon as I finish.
529
00:22:14,114 --> 00:22:17,154
Um, Jackie, are you in
the middle of something?
530
00:22:17,155 --> 00:22:18,859
Yes, I'm ordering Chia seeds.
531
00:22:18,860 --> 00:22:19,869
What's up?
532
00:22:19,870 --> 00:22:22,089
Just a question, um...
533
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:24,819
Do you recall ever suggesting to Tom
534
00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:26,250
that he shouldn't go to college?
535
00:22:26,251 --> 00:22:28,502
No. Why would I do that?
536
00:22:28,503 --> 00:22:31,297
You didn't tell him that
college was a waste of time?
537
00:22:31,298 --> 00:22:34,049
Uh, we may have talked about college,
538
00:22:34,050 --> 00:22:36,559
but it was just a general conversation.
539
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,799
Okay, so you didn't try to persuade him
540
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,015
that he shouldn't go?
541
00:22:41,016 --> 00:22:43,709
I didn't push him either way. I...
542
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:46,770
I may have said it's not for
everybody, and it wasn't for me.
543
00:22:46,771 --> 00:22:49,169
A-ha! Exactly!
544
00:22:49,170 --> 00:22:51,919
Well, see, for him that was a push.
545
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,879
And now he says he's not going,
546
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,499
which was not particularly
helpful to me,
547
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,959
to Robert, or to Tom.
548
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,709
So I'm not allowed to
have a conversation
549
00:22:59,710 --> 00:23:01,959
with my stepson in my own home
550
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,959
where he lives half the time
551
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,169
- where I cook his meals?
- No.
552
00:23:06,170 --> 00:23:10,169
No, there are subjects with
my kids... with our kids...
553
00:23:10,170 --> 00:23:11,499
that are off limits.
554
00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:14,179
You haven't earned those conversations,
555
00:23:14,180 --> 00:23:18,580
and I really need you to respect that.
556
00:23:23,090 --> 00:23:26,499
God, if we could bottle
the envy in her eyes,
557
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,239
we could blow up Russia.
558
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,099
Get over it, Farrah.
559
00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:31,839
Robert planted one in her belly,
560
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,289
and now you're in the rear view.
561
00:23:33,290 --> 00:23:34,559
So go find a life.
562
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,419
Cathy, shut the fuck up.
563
00:23:37,420 --> 00:23:40,979
Cathy, I know this is not
like a bombshell headline...
564
00:23:40,980 --> 00:23:44,459
but every single word that
comes out of your mouth
565
00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:47,414
is designed to make someone feel shitty.
566
00:23:47,415 --> 00:23:50,119
And normally, I could give a shit,
567
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,879
because I have the misfortune
of knowing you so well.
568
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,039
But this time, you did it.
569
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,709
You made me feel shitty.
570
00:23:56,710 --> 00:23:58,589
So congratulations.
571
00:23:58,590 --> 00:24:00,579
Once again, I'm cast as the villain.
572
00:24:00,580 --> 00:24:02,249
Because you are the villain!
573
00:24:02,250 --> 00:24:05,141
You're that fucking white
runt from Middle Earth.
574
00:24:05,142 --> 00:24:06,979
And you're a misogynist!
575
00:24:06,980 --> 00:24:09,999
You can't handle a strong
and independent woman!
576
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,689
That's why you surround
yourself with these bimbos.
577
00:24:11,690 --> 00:24:14,200
- Okay, bitch.
- Okay, checking out.
578
00:24:15,710 --> 00:24:18,152
- Oh, boy!
- How is this funny?
579
00:24:18,153 --> 00:24:19,259
You should be pissed.
580
00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:21,759
Jackie, I'm sorry, but
when you married Robert,
581
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,409
you inherited all of his accessories.
582
00:24:24,410 --> 00:24:28,000
It's not my problem anymore. I'm free.
583
00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:31,370
Hey.
584
00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:33,629
Hey.
585
00:24:33,630 --> 00:24:37,160
Good-bye, Larry. Stay strong.
586
00:24:38,883 --> 00:24:41,635
Oh, have you seen Lila's Sit-Upon?
587
00:24:41,636 --> 00:24:43,919
- The petri dish pillow?
- Yeah.
588
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,099
No... Wait, did we lose it?
589
00:24:47,100 --> 00:24:49,259
I don't know.
590
00:24:49,260 --> 00:24:51,019
I'll call the renters.
591
00:24:51,020 --> 00:24:53,148
I'll see if they let me in
the garage to look for it.
592
00:24:54,380 --> 00:24:55,859
What's a petri dish pillow?
593
00:24:57,090 --> 00:24:59,154
It's too hard to explain.
594
00:25:13,130 --> 00:25:14,502
How do you do it, Larry?
595
00:25:15,250 --> 00:25:18,714
Not to dredge up less
happier times, but...
596
00:25:18,715 --> 00:25:20,099
ever since you tried to kill yourself,
597
00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:22,859
you just seem weirdly at peace.
598
00:25:22,860 --> 00:25:24,220
What's the secret?
599
00:25:28,170 --> 00:25:30,267
Larry, wait!
600
00:25:30,268 --> 00:25:33,459
Move your fat ass and put
that crap in the cooler!
601
00:25:33,460 --> 00:25:34,959
Jesus.
602
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,858
So much is said in silence.
603
00:25:39,402 --> 00:25:41,540
Stay gold, Larry.
604
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:44,839
You know, it's hurtful
605
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,209
that you don't appreciate
all that I do for Dad.
606
00:25:47,210 --> 00:25:48,995
You don't live there, so you don't know.
607
00:25:48,996 --> 00:25:51,819
I'll send you three grand in the mail.
608
00:25:51,820 --> 00:25:53,540
Don't come up here again.
609
00:25:53,541 --> 00:25:54,709
Done.
610
00:25:55,380 --> 00:25:59,959
Larry, it's just a few bags,
not a Chinese slat puzzle!
611
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,879
Jam 'em in and let's blow this shitbox!
612
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:04,219
God!
613
00:26:10,210 --> 00:26:12,879
I can't believe you didn't
have my back with Frances.
614
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,419
You just fucking stood there.
615
00:26:14,420 --> 00:26:16,699
It was so insulting.
616
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:20,039
You're married to me now, remember?
617
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,540
God, I'm sick of this shit.
618
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,000
So much is said in silence.
619
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,839
- Hi! You made it!
- Yeah, I'm sorry I'm late,
620
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,230
but I'll be... I'll be really
fast and be really quiet.
621
00:26:59,232 --> 00:27:01,525
Oh, no worries, the key's
still under the flower pot.
622
00:27:01,526 --> 00:27:02,919
Okay, thanks.
623
00:28:07,790 --> 00:28:12,790
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
624
00:29:34,130 --> 00:29:35,209
Hey, you mind if I...
625
00:29:35,210 --> 00:29:37,240
Would it be weird if
I asked Frances out?
626
00:29:37,849 --> 00:29:39,559
- I would like you to meet Henry.
- Hey, Robert!
627
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:40,919
So you're officially off the market?
628
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,309
- Yep.
- Good luck, dick face.
629
00:29:43,310 --> 00:29:45,799
I can bring dinner over tomorrow night.
630
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:46,999
Why the hell would you want to do that?
631
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,400
We're trying to be a family,
632
00:29:48,401 --> 00:29:49,881
and I don't want there to be tension.
633
00:29:50,380 --> 00:29:54,157
I predict a lovely evening
filled with banter and bonding.
634
00:29:54,750 --> 00:29:56,719
I found a buyer for your house.
635
00:29:56,720 --> 00:29:58,660
My and Frances' old house?
It's not for sale.
636
00:30:00,330 --> 00:30:02,089
So, Henry, do you have kids?
637
00:30:02,090 --> 00:30:03,099
Uh, step-kids.
638
00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:05,159
So, your ex. Is she white too?
639
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,279
Robbie!
640
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,003
Did I just micro-aggress you, man?
641
00:30:08,004 --> 00:30:09,084
- You think?
- I'm so sorry.
46241
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