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1
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:54,262
Seventh-grader.
2
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:57,515
Sounds a lot better
than sixth-grader.
3
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,187
{SIGHS} This is a Greg thing.
I don't see why I had to come.
4
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,066
Because, Rodrick,
this is a family event,
5
00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:09,527
and like it or not,
you're part of
the Hefley family.
6
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:12,989
Yeah.
That and we already
paid for your ticket.
7
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:27,587
MAN ON PA: I'd Like to
give a warm welcome to
West more seventh-graders!
8
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,923
A new year
of school starting.
9
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:33,593
Hi !
10
00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:35,636
Rowley!
Greg !
11
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:41,142
{BOTH Exclaim}
12
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:42,518
{Buzzing}
13
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:47,732
Alakazam !
Alaka-zoo-wee Mama!
14
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,192
What are you doing?
15
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:50,401
it�s a magic wand.
16
00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:51,569
Do you want
to see a trick?
17
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,529
Only if the trick
is to make
the thing disappear.
18
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,828
{EXHALES SHARPLY}
Just put it
in your pocket!
19
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:02,997
You don't want to
give away your
best tricks in public.
20
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,249
So, how was your summer?
21
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:07,126
{GREG Sighs}
22
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,212
{ALL Laughing}
23
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,593
{Breathing Heavily}
24
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,182
That sounds
pretty rough.
25
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,226
The only good thing
that happened
26
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,186
was l got rid of
the Cheese Touch.
27
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,562
Who'd you give it to?
28
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,814
The new kid.
Jeremy Pindle.
29
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:28,898
{Girls Screaming}
30
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,275
Girls: Cheese Touch !
31
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,280
Hey, guys!
Anyone for pizza?
32
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,867
Hey! Thanks, Fregley.
33
00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,411
You know,
34
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:46,415
l can't believe people
leave perfectly good food
just lying around.
35
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,007
{SNEEZES}
36
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,470
{Retching}
37
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,648
l'll save that
38
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,359
for later.
39
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,864
{Grunting}
Let's skate.
40
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:21,117
MAN: I'd Like
to give a shout out
to Taylor Pringle!
41
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,368
Uh-oh, dork alert!
42
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:25,288
Happy birthday, Taylor!
Five years young.
43
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,832
I hope your
party's a blast.
44
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,376
Rowley,
stop pulling me down !
45
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,086
{MAGIC Playing}
46
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,838
MAN: Ho, ho, ho
It's magic
47
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,424
You know
48
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,010
Who is that?
49
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,848
Her name is Holly Hills.
She just moved here.
50
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:45,725
What grade is she in?
Seventh.
51
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,268
She's an all-star
soccer player,
52
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,811
has done
professional modelling,
53
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,938
and was her sixth grade
class president.
54
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:54,233
She moved here from Oregon
because her father
got a big promotion.
55
00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:56,485
They drive a hybrid SUV,
56
00:03:56,653 --> 00:04:00,114
live on the north side of town
in a cul-de-sac near the park.
57
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:02,867
What? l goggled her!
58
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,119
She's a picture
of loveliness,
is she not?
59
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,496
She's almost as
pretty as my mom.
60
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:10,124
She's going to be
very popular.
61
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:12,501
{Sighs DEEPLY}
62
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,254
{Kids Cheering}
63
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,006
Girl: Sit here!
Sit here!
64
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,676
Please, everyone,
sit down.
We have our seats.
65
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,803
{Kids Clamouring}
66
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:30,019
MAN: It's magic, you know
67
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:36,609
Never believe it's not so
68
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:37,693
Excuse me.
69
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:40,738
What?
70
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,449
l said, excuse me.
You're blocking the exit.
71
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,951
{STAMMERS} Oh, sorry.
72
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:46,243
That's okay.
73
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,288
l'm Chirag Gupta.
And l'm single.
74
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,667
Wow. My name is. . .
75
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:54,001
We know exactly
who you are.
76
00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:56,128
Holly Hills of
432 Embury Lane.
77
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,172
GREG: No,
we don't know
who you are.
78
00:04:58,256 --> 00:04:59,548
We have no idea
who you are.
79
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,802
{BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY}
80
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:07,515
Okay! Well,
l think l'm going
to go skating now.
81
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:12,019
Please
congratulate your father
on his promotion from me!
82
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:15,982
"We know exactly who you are"?
You trying to scare her?
83
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,233
Does it really matter?
84
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,986
A girl like that is
out of your league
anyway, Gregory.
85
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:23,072
She's new.
She isn't out of
anyone's league yet.
86
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,741
She doesn't know
the social pecking order.
87
00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,452
lf there was ever
a time for me
to make a move,
88
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:29,912
it's now.
89
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,039
{RODRlCK SCOFFS}
90
00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:33,791
Hey, Greg !
91
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,377
Can you break
a leg or something
so we can leave?
92
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,629
{Sighs}
93
00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:42,008
RODRlCK: Oh ! {LAUGHS}
94
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,802
That'll never happen.
Not a chance.
95
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,887
There's no way
that girl will
ever talk to you.
96
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,057
Yeah, well,
l just talked to her
97
00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,892
and we'll probably
skate later.
98
00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:54,311
Really? Okay.
99
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:56,731
Well, you see
that clock?
100
00:05:57,107 --> 00:06:00,443
They play a slow song
at the top of every hour
for couples skate.
101
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,447
lf you're so confident,
ask her to skate.
102
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,450
Maybe l will.
103
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,118
What you waiting
for, wimp?
104
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,703
You the man !
105
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,288
{Laughing}
106
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,376
Look, if we can
get out to Holly
107
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,379
and be standing
right next to her
when the clock changes,
108
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:23,632
then l can ask her to skate
and she'll have to say yes.
109
00:06:24,468 --> 00:06:26,677
l don't know
about that.
110
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,388
{lNDlSTlNCT HlP-HOP
Music Playing}
111
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,231
Oh, honey, hi !
112
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,567
Remember when we were
young like this,
113
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,570
and we used to dance
and go to parties,
and things like that?
114
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,654
Whoo!
115
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,625
l'm going in.
Cover me!
116
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,801
{ALWAYS Playing}
117
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:13,891
Girl you are to me
all that a woman should be
118
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,102
And I dedicate my life...
119
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:19,814
MAN: All rockers
and hardcore skaters
off the rink,
120
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,274
unless you're
looking for love.
121
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,317
{Girl Whimpering}
122
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:24,401
It's time for
couples skate.
123
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,195
l'm making my move.
124
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:36,831
Stop! Enough of
that total lameness!
Who's ready to rock? Yeah!
125
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,374
{Whooping}
126
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,794
{HEAVY METAL
ROCK SONG Playing}
127
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,712
Come on, let's get
out of here. Come on.
128
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,344
{Grunting}
129
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,055
{Screaming}
130
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,516
{GREG Whimpering}
131
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,393
ROWLEY: What are
we going to do?
Stay calm.
132
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,895
All we have to do
is just stay here.
133
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,731
ROWLEY: Whoa! Whoa!
134
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:05,317
GREG: Rowley! Hang on !
135
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,527
{ROWLEY Whimpering}
136
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,322
{Music STOPS}
137
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:12,783
SUSAN ON PA:
Greg Hefley!
138
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,786
This is your mother.
139
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,081
Everything is
going to be okay.
140
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,835
Stay where you are,
and your father is
going to come rescue you.
141
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:26,755
I repeat, everything
is going to be okay.
142
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:31,010
Okay, here he comes.
Here comes Frank.
I see him. He's on his way.
143
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,430
Dad !
l know, l know.
144
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:38,225
Okay.
All right, everyone,
go back to skating!
145
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,310
You all right?
146
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,149
Hey, Romeo,
how'd it go
with the new girl?
147
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:49,320
{Grunting} Whoa!
148
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,613
{PEOPLE Gasping}
149
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:51,989
{RODRlCK CHUCKLES}
150
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,077
You ruined
my birthday!
151
00:08:57,829 --> 00:08:59,205
You jerk!
152
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,543
{Kids Shouting}
153
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,920
Ow! Ow! That hurt!
154
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:13,761
{LAUGHS}
155
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,020
GREG: Rodrick!
{BABY Crying}
156
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,190
Here, catch !
157
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,116
Let me start by saying
that having a brother
is really overrated.
158
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,494
Rowley always says
he wishes he had
a brother,
159
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,913
and, boy, do l wish
l could give him
one of mine.
160
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:44,041
l've looked into it
and, unfortunately,
it's not legal,
161
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,252
l mean,
Manny has been
telling on me
162
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,170
ever since he was
able to speak.
163
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,797
Bubby did it.
164
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,423
{CAT GROWLS}
165
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:55,261
Bubby did it.
166
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,345
SUSAN: Greg !
167
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,889
And Rodrick is
the king of laziness.
168
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,475
Except when it comes
to torturing me.
169
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,687
{Coughing}
{Laughing}
170
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,522
GREG: My mom has
started writing
171
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,482
an advice column
for the local paper.
172
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,276
She wrote an article
last week
173
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,028
about how your brothers
will always be there for you.
174
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:16,240
Well, that's exactly
what l'm afraid of.
175
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,075
{BOWL DROPS}
176
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,537
Hey, Bubby.
177
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,624
Got to go, Mom.
Later, Mom.
178
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,084
Yeah, see you, hon.
Okay, okay, wait.
179
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,669
Hold on.
Wait a second.
180
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,130
l need a moment
for a family meeting.
181
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,800
Now, your father and l
have been talking.
182
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,887
Things between you two
have really gotten
out of hand.
183
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,639
Can l just say. . .
184
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:41,724
You may not
realize it now,
185
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:46,228
but having a brother is
one of the most important
relationships of your life.
186
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,731
l mean, one day
you're going to be
Uncle Greg
187
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,691
and Uncle Rodrick
to each other's kids.
188
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:54,403
That's important.
So you need to get
to know each other.
189
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,487
What?
What?
190
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,990
You need to spend
more time together.
What?
191
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,367
So that's why l've come up
with a new program
192
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:04,371
that's going to reward you
for spending time together.
193
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:08,459
l'm calling it
{imitates FANFARE}
194
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,210
"Mom Bucks."
195
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,213
You're paying us
with fake money?
Yeah.
196
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,342
Okay, now, for every hour
that you spend together
without fighting,
197
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:19,803
for example, let's say
you give Greg
a drum lesson,
198
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,765
you each earn
a Mom Buck,
199
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:26,185
which you can
then trade in
for one real dollar.
200
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,436
Oh.
201
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,106
So, to start you off,
l'm giving you
each five Mom Bucks.
202
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,235
Now, if you're smart,
you'll save up
your Mom Bucks. . .
203
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,112
Can l cash out now?
204
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,366
Well, Rodrick,
if you save. . .
205
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,950
But can l cash out?
206
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,703
Yes, but. . .
207
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:45,913
l want to cash out.
208
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,456
Frank?
l know.
209
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,124
{EXHALES}
210
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,920
Uh. . . Okay.
Yes, you can.
All right.
211
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,216
Okay. All right, great.
We should get going,
212
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,301
because you don't want
to be late for school.
All right?
213
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:01,136
Yeah, got to go.
Let's go.
Okay, all right.
214
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:05,265
This Mom Bucks thing
is a gold mine, muchacho.
215
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,267
You better not
ruin it for me.
216
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,603
GREG: Most kids hate it
when summer ends,
217
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:14,191
but I have to say, right now,
school is starting to look
pretty good.
218
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:31,291
Welcome back.
219
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,210
it�s nice not to be
the new kids this year.
220
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,378
l agree.
221
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,797
l know. Look at all
the tiny sixth-graders.
222
00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,174
l'm so glad that's
not me this year.
223
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,843
Just a little higher.
Just a little higher.
224
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:46,890
Whoa! Greg !
Look who's in our class.
225
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:52,146
GREG: This was my chance.
If I could sit next to Holly,
226
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,064
I'd have the whole year
to show her how great I am.
227
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:56,692
No way, Greg Hefley.
228
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,403
This is my seat.
229
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:01,029
No, it's not.
l was here first.
230
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,783
PATTY: {Grunting}
it�s mine!
231
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:05,951
Let go!
232
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,162
You know
l'm stronger than you,
Greg Hefley.
233
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,956
Don't make me
beat you up again !
234
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,207
Let's get
something straight.
235
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,710
l was sick that day
and l had something
in my eye.
236
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,545
MR. DRAYBlCK: Well !
237
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,757
l've never had
students so eager to
start the school year.
238
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:21,967
What's going on?
239
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,427
This is my seat!
This is my seat!
240
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,514
{LAUGHS} Okay,
let's start again.
What are your names?
241
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,227
Patty Farrell,
two R's, two L's.
242
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:39,568
Greg Hefley.
243
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:44,072
Would you be related
to Rodrick Hefley?
244
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,410
{EXHALES}
245
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:07,554
l've got my eye
on you, Hefley.
246
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,019
GREG:
There's no way to escape.
247
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,564
{RODRlCK LAUGHS Evilly}
248
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:21,777
it�s unbelievable!
Even at school,
Rodrick is ruining my life.
249
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,070
Shh !
250
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:24,780
{Whispers}
He might hear you.
251
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,824
Nah. Watch.
252
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,576
{Banging LOUDLY}
253
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,662
Holy cow!
254
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,956
He once slept through
an entire day.
255
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,500
Do you have an amazing talent
that you'd like to share?
256
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:41,380
Today, Plainview City Council
announced a brand-new
local contest:
257
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,048
Plainview's Most Talented.
258
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,133
Hey! Greg !
Maybe we should. . .
259
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,593
Can it,
Chunky Cheese!
260
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:50,097
West more is absolutely
packed to the roof
with talent.
261
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,683
The top prize is $1 ,000
and, of course,
262
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,726
the admiration
of your friends
and neighbours.
263
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:58,230
This is huge.
l got to call the band.
We got to practice.
264
00:14:58,314 --> 00:14:59,565
This is going to be
our big break!
265
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:00,816
Uh-uh-uh.
Wait a second.
266
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,235
Aren't you forgetting
something?
What?
267
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,070
l showered yesterday.
Smell.
268
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,822
Okay, okay.
Okay. Okay.
269
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,825
We agreed
that you'd give
a drum lesson to Greg.
270
00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:11,618
You were serious?
271
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:12,744
SUSAN: Who knows?
272
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,663
Maybe you guys
will really like it
273
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,248
and we can
form a family band.
{GASPS}
274
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,333
{COME ON GET HAPPY PLAYING}
275
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,378
Hello, world,
here's a song
that we're singing
276
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,797
Come on get happy
277
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:29,636
A whole lotta loving'
is what we'll be bringing
278
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,555
We'll make you happy
279
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,515
{ROCK SONG Playing}
280
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,022
GREG: Rodrick says
he's a professional musician,
281
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,733
but as far as I know
the only money he's made,
282
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,736
is when Dad gave him
five bucks once
to stop playing.
283
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,988
When do we get to
play the real drums?
284
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:50,032
Like l'd ever
let you touch them !
285
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,076
Watch and learn,
earthworm !
286
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:57,539
Hey, l was thinking
we should enter
the talent show.
287
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,292
l could do my magic act
and you could be
my assistant.
288
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,793
Assistant? No way.
289
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,296
Doing magic tricks
is bad enough.
290
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,590
Assisting the guy
doing the tricks?
291
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,176
l'd never make it
to eighth grade.
292
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,602
{BEEPS}
293
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:22,939
What?
294
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,399
Hey, a cookie.
295
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,109
Manny,
what have you done?
296
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,819
l'm only three.
297
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,072
What's going on?
What did you do to him?
298
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,074
Nothing !
He ruined my video game.
299
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,494
Oh ! He didn't do
anything on purpose.
Did you, honey?
300
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:38,705
No, l didn't.
No, he didn't.
He's only three.
301
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,749
MANNY: l'm only three!
302
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,710
Okay, let's go, sweetie.
You want another cookie?
303
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,128
GREG: It's so unfair.
304
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,381
I have Rodrick
making my life a misery
on one side,
305
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,007
and Manny attacking me
from the other.
306
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:52,803
And I'm the only one
who seems to get
blamed for anything.
307
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:56,264
I wonder what it'd be like
to have a family
that actually loves me.
308
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:57,599
Little boy!
309
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,561
We're a very rich couple
with no children
and so much love to share.
310
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,272
Won't you come be
part of our family?
311
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,276
Finally!
Someone l can
leave my billions to.
312
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,611
{Sighs}
313
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,240
India? Why would
you go there?
314
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:17,494
India is fascinating.
it�s the jewel of
Southeast Asia.
315
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,538
My father has business
to take care of,
316
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:21,498
so he's taking
the whole family.
317
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,166
Can you bring me
back a cobra?
318
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:25,669
l want to
teach it to dance!
319
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,719
MALONE: Wake up!
What are you guys
doing over there?
320
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,513
Get the ball !
Get the ball,
kick it!
321
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,473
{Kids Shouting}
322
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,558
MAN: Kick it!
323
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:40,642
MALONE: Kick it!
324
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,103
{ALL Cheering}
325
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,313
Patty Farrell,
you are the man !
326
00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:48,150
{BOYS Panting}
327
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:51,778
Nice running, Hefley.
Just have to work
on the direction.
328
00:17:55,658 --> 00:18:00,203
Wow. Holly Hills
is better than Bryce.
And he's an all-star!
329
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,080
Well, l'm sure
your soccer skills
330
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:03,999
made a great
impression on her.
331
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,917
Go strike while
the iron is hot.
332
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,043
You'll see.
333
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,962
When you come back
from India,
334
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:10,881
she'll be
hanging out with me.
335
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,801
CHlRAG:
l would love for that
to be true, Gregory.
336
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,721
it would provide hope
for smaller boys
everywhere,
337
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:21,933
but girls like that
just don't hang out
with guys like us.
338
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:30,525
So, listen, you don't
have to worry about being
in my magic show anymore,
339
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:33,737
'cause l got Scotty
from my karate class
to be my assistant.
340
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,114
Scotty?
isn�t he like eight?
341
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,533
He'll be eight.
342
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,661
{BRAKES SCREECH}
343
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,039
Get in.
Why?
344
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,373
What are you
doing here?
345
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,625
Mom said she'll
pay Mom Bucks
346
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,251
if l drive you
home from school.
347
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:49,628
{BOTH Chuckling}
348
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:50,712
We'd rather walk.
349
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,381
Get in ! Now!
350
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,302
GREG:
What happened
to the seats?
351
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,888
l needed the room
for my new equipment.
352
00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:03,308
How'd you have
the money for that?
353
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,560
You know, Mom Bucks.
354
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,731
There's no way.
He only earned
like five.
355
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,068
{BOTH Screaming}
356
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:15,028
{Tires Squealing}
357
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,114
We got to figure out
what song we're playing
at the talent contest.
358
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,491
Easy. Devil's Dipper.
359
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:23,203
A ballad? Really, dude?
We got to lift them
out of their seats!
360
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,496
BEN: l got it.
361
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,582
Exploded Dipper!
Exploded Dipper!
362
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:31,044
Slow down, guys!
Slow down !
363
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,380
GREG: Whoa!
364
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:34,965
{GROANS}
365
00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:39,928
{GREG GRUNTS}
366
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,523
GREG: This Mom Bucks thing
isn't working out.
367
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,860
Now Rodrick can get paid
for beating me up.
368
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,237
{Sniffs} Oh. . .
369
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,825
GREG: Mom, why are you
writing about me again?
370
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:02,909
it�s embarrassing.
371
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:07,080
What?
You know how important
honesty is to me.
372
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,790
And, Rowley, good news.
373
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,750
l called your mom
and she gave
her permission
374
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,295
for you to come with us
to Rocking' Rapids
next weekend.
375
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,881
Two days on the biggest
water slides in the world !
376
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:16,923
it�s going to be great!
377
00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,842
{Whooping}
378
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,469
Thank you,
Mrs. Hefley,
379
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:25,056
but l think
l'd like to stay home
and practice my magic act.
380
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:26,433
{BOTH Cheering}
381
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,894
{Screaming}
382
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,314
l just want to
perfect my art.
383
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,693
Come on,
let's go upstairs.
384
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,695
Mom, can l
use your computer
for homework?
385
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,448
For homework, right?
386
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,867
Yeah. Definitely.
Homework only.
387
00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:46,036
l'm sorry, Bubby.
388
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,039
What's this?
389
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:51,207
it�s a gift from Manny.
390
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,752
He made it for you
because he wanted
to say he was sorry
391
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:57,130
for breaking
your video game.
isn�t that cute?
392
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:59,883
it looks dangerous.
What if l sat
on that thing?
393
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,719
Greg !
What are you doing?
394
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,473
{SOFTLY} Tell Manny
you love his gift.
395
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:14,522
You're so lucky
you don't have
any brothers.
396
00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:16,775
You're kind of
like my brother.
397
00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:18,526
And shouldn't we
be looking up things
398
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,362
for your
"hundred years ago"
assignment?
399
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:25,200
She looks like
she was born
1 00 years ago.
400
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,410
Ahhh!
401
00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:34,793
Oh, l hope she's okay.
She sounded pretty hurt.
402
00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,503
Are you kidding me?
She's famous,
403
00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:38,129
and l heard
she's a millionaire.
404
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,883
ROWLEY:
I would love
to be her!
405
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,301
You do know
she was faking it?
406
00:21:43,386 --> 00:21:44,469
Really?
407
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:45,720
Of course.
408
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,722
Anyone can be
an internet sensation.
409
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:49,808
We could.
l'm listening.
410
00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,726
You just have to work
with what you got.
411
00:21:52,687 --> 00:21:54,312
{Mouthing SONG Lyrics}
Wake up in the morning
412
00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:55,647
feeling like P. Diddy
413
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:59,651
Grab my glasses on,
I'm out the door
I'm going to hit this city
414
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:03,738
Before l leave,
brush my teeth
with a bottle of Jack
415
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:07,659
'Cause when
I leave for the night,
I isn�t coming back
416
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:10,495
I'm talking,
playing our favourite CD's
417
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,497
Pulling up to the parties
418
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:15,917
Trying to get
a little bit tipsy
419
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:18,670
Okay, three,
two, one, fall.
420
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:23,133
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
421
00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:24,926
{Music STOPS}
422
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:27,429
it looks fake.
it has to look real.
423
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:30,515
But how do l fake it
if l'm actually
falling backwards?
424
00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:32,892
Maybe you need a gimmick,
so people notice you.
425
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:35,103
Oh.
426
00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,647
Wear this on your head.
427
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:41,860
Now, do it again.
428
00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:44,529
Why can't you be the one
that falls backwards
in the chair?
429
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,949
Because l'm not the one
wearing the underwear
on my head.
430
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,703
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop, no
431
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,538
Remember when
l broke my arm?
432
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,081
That didn't feel
good at. . .
433
00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:57,125
{Screaming}
434
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:03,089
l can't believe
you sat on the tinfoil ball !
We're going to be rich !
435
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:04,382
SUSAN: Okay, Rowley.
436
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:07,052
Hold still. Oy!
437
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,012
{Screaming}
438
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:10,346
{Squawking}
439
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:27,238
My computer
was supposed to be
for homework only.
440
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:29,991
You lied to me.
You know how
l feel about that.
441
00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:33,495
Mom, from now on,
l'll be 1 00% honest.
442
00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:35,413
GREG: WeII, that Lasted
about a week.
443
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:38,750
Mom somehow didn't
appreciate the completely
honest version of me.
444
00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:42,545
ALL: Happy birthday,
Grandpa!
445
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:45,423
Next year, l want
a chocolate cake.
446
00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:47,884
That is,
if you're alive
next year.
447
00:23:48,803 --> 00:23:49,803
SUSAN: Greg !
448
00:23:49,887 --> 00:23:51,012
Honesty, Mom !
449
00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:55,100
Mom, it's Mrs. Gillman
from the PTA.
450
00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:57,644
Tell her l'm not here!
451
00:23:57,728 --> 00:23:59,521
But that would be lying
452
00:24:00,189 --> 00:24:02,023
and l don't do
that anymore.
453
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:08,029
l'm sorry, Mrs. Gillman,
but my mom isn't in
the house right now.
454
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:16,871
GREG: On weekends,
I try to stay as far away
from my brothers as possible.
455
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:20,708
But on Sunday morning,
I have no choice.
456
00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:24,212
Poopy!
457
00:24:24,713 --> 00:24:26,840
{Exclaims} Huh?
458
00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:29,717
SUSAN: Greg !
it looks like he has
a candy bar on there.
459
00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:31,344
Manny!
460
00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:32,637
{GREG GRUNTS Angrily}
461
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,472
SUSAN: Frank,
you're going to have
to do something.
462
00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:35,890
FRANK: Yeah,
l'll get a rag.
463
00:24:39,728 --> 00:24:40,937
Dad, stop it!
464
00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:42,063
Hold still !
465
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:44,399
All right,
let me see.
466
00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,651
You're fine.
Can't even tell.
467
00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:56,494
l'm not going in
with a poop stain
on my pants.
468
00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:58,872
Okay, well,
you can't skip church.
469
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,207
No, l'm not
going in like this.
470
00:25:02,459 --> 00:25:03,960
Fine.
471
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:06,171
{ALL THINGS
BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL
Playing ON ORGAN}
472
00:25:06,255 --> 00:25:08,882
ALL: {Slinging}
He made them every one
473
00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:09,966
Go.
474
00:25:11,802 --> 00:25:16,181
All things
bright and beautiful
475
00:25:16,265 --> 00:25:21,352
All creatures
great and small
476
00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:23,938
All things
wise and wonderful
477
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:25,982
What are you doing? Go!
478
00:25:26,108 --> 00:25:30,570
The Lord God made them all
479
00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:32,780
Minister:
Please be seated.
480
00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:38,161
Let me just say
how gratifying it is
481
00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:41,039
to see so many
smiling faces
here today.
482
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:44,125
Mothers and fathers. . .
483
00:25:49,131 --> 00:25:51,633
Okay, we're up.
484
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:53,801
Come on ! We're up!
485
00:25:54,303 --> 00:25:56,596
But everyone will
see the sweater.
486
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,723
People are looking,
okay?
487
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:00,350
So come on. Let's go.
488
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:01,809
Come on.
489
00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:22,580
Poop!
490
00:26:22,998 --> 00:26:25,041
He's pooped his pants!
491
00:26:26,335 --> 00:26:28,378
No, it isn't
what it looks like!
492
00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:30,463
it isn't.
it�s chocolate!
493
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,132
Chocolate. See?
494
00:26:34,677 --> 00:26:36,761
{ALL Exclaim in Disgust}
495
00:26:53,696 --> 00:26:56,447
What did l say
about being civil
to one another?
496
00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:58,449
That's all
l asked of you !
497
00:26:58,534 --> 00:27:00,243
Well, you have
blown it big time!
498
00:27:00,411 --> 00:27:02,120
Never been
more embarrassed !
499
00:27:02,246 --> 00:27:03,913
Everyone we know
was there!
500
00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:07,041
{Sobbing} l have no idea
how l'm going to write
my column this week.
501
00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:09,085
l feel like
a complete fraud !
502
00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,170
Well, you brought
this on yourselves.
503
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:13,214
You can kiss
Rocking' Rapids
good-bye!
504
00:27:13,382 --> 00:27:16,884
You two will stay here
all weekend and work out
your differences.
505
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:19,470
And if you don't,
l will.
506
00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:22,473
And trust me,
you don't want
any part of that.
507
00:27:23,851 --> 00:27:25,059
Do you understand?
508
00:27:25,728 --> 00:27:27,478
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
509
00:27:28,272 --> 00:27:30,606
{Sighing}
All right, let's go.
510
00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:41,242
And don't have
anybody over
this weekend.
511
00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:43,077
Got it?
512
00:27:56,425 --> 00:27:57,842
{CHUCKLES}
513
00:27:58,635 --> 00:27:59,927
{UPBEAT Music Playing}
514
00:28:00,471 --> 00:28:02,305
{Speaking}
515
00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,517
{MESSAGE TONE Beeping}
516
00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:14,776
Snacks in the bowls,
ice in the freezer,
cups on the table.
517
00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:16,361
Your party
better be good.
518
00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:17,904
Our party, little bro.
519
00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:19,864
{DOORBELL Rings}
520
00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:22,950
Wait! Whoa, whoa!
We need chairs
from the basement.
521
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:24,702
For what?
522
00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:27,372
in case we want to
play musical chairs.
523
00:28:27,498 --> 00:28:30,166
l haven't played
musical chairs
since the second grade.
524
00:28:30,292 --> 00:28:33,628
Well, it comes back
when you hit high school.
525
00:28:33,712 --> 00:28:35,505
{DOORBELL Rings}
Wait! You get the chairs.
526
00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:37,590
l don't want anyone
to be disappointed.
All right?
527
00:28:37,841 --> 00:28:39,092
Okay.
All right.
528
00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:50,520
{PEOPLE Chattering}
529
00:28:50,687 --> 00:28:52,480
{Light Switch Clicking}
530
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,621
Rodrick, help!
The door's closed !
531
00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:10,123
Yeah, and it's
staying closed.
532
00:29:10,207 --> 00:29:12,083
l don't need
a middle-schooler
ruining my party.
533
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:13,918
What? l thought
it was our party!
534
00:29:14,002 --> 00:29:17,088
it�s my party.
Now keep quiet or l'll
lock you in the dryer!
535
00:29:17,172 --> 00:29:18,589
Rodrick!
536
00:29:19,716 --> 00:29:20,758
{Mockingly} Greg !
537
00:29:23,178 --> 00:29:25,555
{Panting}
538
00:29:41,989 --> 00:29:43,030
{SCREAMS}
539
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:44,866
{GASPS}
540
00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:51,205
{Sighs in Relief}
541
00:29:52,875 --> 00:29:54,959
{Gasping}
542
00:30:04,219 --> 00:30:06,262
{Dial TONE Droning}
543
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:15,354
ROWLEY:
And that's magic!
544
00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:16,981
{PHONE Ringling}
545
00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:21,444
Jefferson residence.
Rowley speaking.
546
00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:23,613
Rowley, l need
your help! Now!
547
00:30:24,865 --> 00:30:26,491
{ROCK Music Playing}
548
00:30:27,034 --> 00:30:28,826
{PEOPLE Shouting}
549
00:30:28,911 --> 00:30:30,578
Holy pepperoni !
550
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:37,084
Get inside.
Open the door
and let me out!
551
00:30:45,761 --> 00:30:47,178
Yes! You did it!
552
00:30:48,222 --> 00:30:50,932
{LAUGHS}
it�s a really
nice try, Greggy.
553
00:30:51,225 --> 00:30:55,436
But whatever you thought,
l already thinked it.
554
00:30:58,398 --> 00:31:00,942
{HlP-HOP SONG Playing}
555
00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:05,905
When our band is huge,
we'll have parties
every night!
556
00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:09,242
But they'll be
backstage parties!
557
00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:11,702
Sweet!
We'll get to
go backstage.
558
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,247
{PHONE Ringling}
559
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:17,875
You, don't touch
that phone!
560
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,253
Music off!
{SHRlLL VOlCE}
Everybody freeze!
561
00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:21,963
{NORMAL VOlCE}
Freeze.
{ALL Silent}
562
00:31:23,757 --> 00:31:26,884
lf anyone makes a sound,
the party is over
563
00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:30,137
and l am a dead man.
So . . Shh !
564
00:31:30,222 --> 00:31:31,973
{Creaking}
{Exclaims}
565
00:31:32,558 --> 00:31:34,308
Quiet, man !
566
00:31:36,603 --> 00:31:38,354
Get back!
567
00:31:38,981 --> 00:31:41,732
{Breathing Heavily} Shh !
568
00:31:41,817 --> 00:31:43,693
Hello?
Rodrick, it's Mom.
569
00:31:43,819 --> 00:31:46,612
ls everything okay?
it took a long time
for you to answer.
570
00:31:46,697 --> 00:31:49,615
Yeah, everything's fine.
l was just washing dishes.
571
00:31:49,992 --> 00:31:52,743
Okay, honey. Well,
l just wanted to check in
and say l love you,
572
00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:54,412
and l'm sorry l was
so harsh earlier.
573
00:31:54,496 --> 00:31:55,621
No problem. Bye.
574
00:31:55,706 --> 00:31:57,373
Now let me say
good night to Greg.
575
00:31:57,457 --> 00:31:58,416
Greg?
576
00:31:58,500 --> 00:31:59,834
Oh, uh. . .
577
00:32:00,502 --> 00:32:02,545
He can't. He's asleep.
l don't want to wake him.
578
00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:05,673
No, l'm not.
l'm right here.
Hi, Mom.
579
00:32:06,550 --> 00:32:07,842
Hey, Rodrick.
580
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:09,844
Hi, sweetie,
is everything okay?
581
00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,637
Why were you
sleeping so early?
{EXHALES}
582
00:32:11,722 --> 00:32:15,975
Well, actually,
l wasn't sleeping.
l'm down in the basement.
583
00:32:16,101 --> 00:32:19,270
{CHUCKLES} The basement?
What the heck are
you doing down there?
584
00:32:19,354 --> 00:32:21,314
Wouldn't you
rather be up here
hanging with me?
585
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,401
Yeah, l would, Rodrick.
Why don't you
come down and get me?
586
00:32:25,569 --> 00:32:26,611
Now.
587
00:32:26,737 --> 00:32:28,446
{Whispering}
l think they're
trying to get along.
588
00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:30,781
Huh? That's good.
Good, honey.
589
00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:34,452
Okay.
Everything is cool here,
right, Greg?
590
00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:38,331
Yeah, Mom.
And l have your number
if l need you.
591
00:32:38,415 --> 00:32:42,293
Okay, sweeties.
Well, we'll see you
tomorrow. Good night.
592
00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:46,339
{Music STARTS Playing}
593
00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:47,882
Listen up.
594
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:52,928
lf you do anything
that embarrasses me,
anything at all,
595
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:54,805
l will. . .
596
00:32:54,890 --> 00:32:56,182
You'll what?
597
00:32:58,268 --> 00:33:01,437
Just stay out
of my way,
598
00:33:03,065 --> 00:33:04,065
nerds.
599
00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:11,447
l think we should
go upstairs.
600
00:33:11,782 --> 00:33:13,115
Are you kidding me?
601
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,827
We might not get to go to
another high school party
for five more years.
602
00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:18,329
We have an
opportunity here,
603
00:33:18,413 --> 00:33:22,083
to see things
no other kid in our grade
has ever seen before.
604
00:33:22,209 --> 00:33:23,584
Like what?
605
00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:25,002
Teenage things.
606
00:33:25,128 --> 00:33:28,339
Just follow my lead,
and we'll be fine.
607
00:33:28,924 --> 00:33:31,842
{DANCE Music Playing}
608
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:36,472
{Girl GASPS}
609
00:33:39,101 --> 00:33:42,019
Hey, watch the elbows,
popcorn dude. Not cool.
610
00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:48,317
{Panting}
That was a close one.
611
00:33:48,610 --> 00:33:50,111
{THUD}
612
00:33:55,617 --> 00:33:57,660
l didn't know you
could get up there.
613
00:33:58,787 --> 00:34:00,204
RODRlCK:
You should
hear my band.
614
00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:02,873
We play so loud,
we actually make
people's eardrums bleed.
615
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:04,542
Ew.
l mean, not really.
616
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,460
{RODRlCK LAUGHS}
617
00:34:06,753 --> 00:34:07,795
l think your
brother likes her!
618
00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:08,879
{Music STOPS}
619
00:34:11,299 --> 00:34:13,134
{CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY}
620
00:34:14,136 --> 00:34:15,678
l have to go
find my friend.
621
00:34:15,762 --> 00:34:17,930
Yeah, yeah, l know.
622
00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:23,769
Reminder!
You can't call
if you're dead.
623
00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:30,234
{PEOPLE Laughing}
624
00:34:33,321 --> 00:34:36,031
Dude, this party is dying.
Look, the girls
aren't into it.
625
00:34:36,116 --> 00:34:37,825
Look, they want
to dance.
626
00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:39,744
You don't
ask them to dance,
they're going to leave,
627
00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:41,078
then you're just
going to be that guy
628
00:34:41,163 --> 00:34:42,830
who threw the lame
party with no girls.
629
00:34:42,914 --> 00:34:44,498
Go ask the girls
to dance!
630
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:46,584
You ask them.
631
00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:49,962
{LAUGHS} No, man.
You go ask
the girls to dance.
632
00:34:50,046 --> 00:34:51,172
You almost did it.
633
00:34:51,256 --> 00:34:53,132
l'm not going to do it!
l've seen you dance!
634
00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:54,216
l'm not doing it. . .
635
00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:57,344
Did somebody say "dance"?
Break it down !
636
00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:59,180
Rowley, no! Don't!
637
00:35:00,307 --> 00:35:02,266
That kid's dead.
No, wait, man.
What are you, new?
638
00:35:02,350 --> 00:35:05,686
You can't mess
with a chubby kid,
the girls'll freak out!
639
00:35:06,688 --> 00:35:09,815
{FAST-PACED
DANCE Music Playing}
640
00:35:09,900 --> 00:35:12,151
l won't call Mom.
You can kill me.
641
00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:14,653
Conga!
642
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:17,865
{JUMP IN THE LINE PLAYING}
643
00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:19,074
What is he doing?
644
00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:21,994
Who cares?
l'm going to
go squeeze in
645
00:35:22,078 --> 00:35:24,288
next to Rachel Lewis
and Amy Ramirez!
646
00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:27,291
Shake, shake, shake, Senora,
Shake your body line
647
00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:31,629
Shake, shake, shake, Senora,
Shake it all the time
648
00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:33,672
My girl's name is Senora
649
00:35:33,757 --> 00:35:35,800
I tell you, friends,
I adore her
650
00:35:35,884 --> 00:35:37,802
And when she dances,
oh, brother!
651
00:35:37,886 --> 00:35:40,262
She's a hurricane
in all kinds of weather
652
00:35:40,347 --> 00:35:42,389
Jump in the line,
Rock your body
653
00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:43,974
This is great!
654
00:35:44,059 --> 00:35:46,477
l know!
l wish my mom
was here.
655
00:35:46,561 --> 00:35:49,313
Your parents are so cool
to let you have this party.
656
00:35:49,606 --> 00:35:53,442
Yeah, really cool.
And they can never know.
657
00:35:53,527 --> 00:35:55,402
You can talk
about Cha Cha
658
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:57,321
Tango, Waltz,
or the Rumba
659
00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:59,448
Senora's dance has no title
660
00:35:59,533 --> 00:36:02,076
You jump in the saddle
Hold on to the bridle!
661
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,703
Jump in the line,
Rock your body in time
662
00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:06,288
Whoa!
663
00:36:06,373 --> 00:36:11,585
Shake, shake, shake, Senora,
Shake it all the time
664
00:36:14,714 --> 00:36:16,841
{PHONE Ringling}
665
00:36:33,233 --> 00:36:37,194
FRANK: Hi. You've reached
the Hefley residence.
Please leave a message.
666
00:36:37,487 --> 00:36:40,865
SUSAN: Hey, guys.
Manny's sick.
We're on our way home.
667
00:36:40,991 --> 00:36:42,408
See you in an hour.
668
00:36:42,617 --> 00:36:44,577
Holy. . .
Molly!
669
00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:50,624
You are in
so much trouble.
670
00:36:53,086 --> 00:36:55,337
Me? You lied to Mom,
just as much as l did.
671
00:36:55,422 --> 00:36:58,424
You know
how she feels about lying !
She's going to kill both of us!
672
00:37:02,304 --> 00:37:03,554
{STAMMERS}
673
00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:06,640
You do the living room,
l'll start the kitchen. Go!
674
00:37:06,808 --> 00:37:09,059
{NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH PLAYING}
675
00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:11,812
Nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah
676
00:37:11,897 --> 00:37:14,815
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
677
00:37:14,900 --> 00:37:20,446
Nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah
678
00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:23,407
I'd rather
you didn't than did
679
00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:26,285
I'd rather
you didn't get rid
680
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:28,996
Of me at that age
Such a young awkward stage
681
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,124
That is not
what you do to a kid
682
00:37:32,208 --> 00:37:34,960
Nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah
683
00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:38,088
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
684
00:37:38,173 --> 00:37:40,591
Nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah
685
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:43,594
Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah
686
00:37:43,678 --> 00:37:46,430
If this is the case
Let us cut to the chase
687
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:49,475
I'm so sorry
I never let go
688
00:37:49,559 --> 00:37:52,436
I went to the doctor
the kind that you talk to
689
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,522
And he said
the process is slow
690
00:37:56,399 --> 00:37:58,275
{Sobbing}
691
00:37:58,735 --> 00:38:00,986
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
692
00:38:01,071 --> 00:38:03,280
Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah
693
00:38:03,365 --> 00:38:06,408
Down, down, down !
All right, let's go.
694
00:38:07,118 --> 00:38:09,787
I'd rather
you hadn't than had
695
00:38:09,871 --> 00:38:12,581
If you hadn't
I wouldn't be mad
696
00:38:12,666 --> 00:38:15,459
At what I'd been handed
Despite it I've landed
697
00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:17,920
On both feet so
don't worry, Dad
698
00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:19,296
it looks good.
699
00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:21,090
Too good.
700
00:38:21,508 --> 00:38:24,259
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
701
00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:25,386
Let's get the kitchen.
702
00:38:27,097 --> 00:38:29,390
Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah
703
00:38:33,395 --> 00:38:34,436
{Exclaims}
704
00:38:34,521 --> 00:38:35,896
Maybe we can
paint over it.
705
00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:37,731
l don't know
how to make paint!
706
00:38:38,191 --> 00:38:39,316
l got it!
707
00:38:39,401 --> 00:38:41,235
See? it�s a good thing
l locked you down here.
708
00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:42,319
Now let's go!
709
00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:46,281
We're not going to make it!
710
00:38:46,366 --> 00:38:47,408
We're going to make it.
711
00:38:47,784 --> 00:38:48,784
{Exclaims}
712
00:38:49,911 --> 00:38:51,578
Trash mine
if you'd like to
713
00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:53,038
I'm sure
you'd be psyched to
714
00:38:53,123 --> 00:38:55,290
Remember our name
is the same
715
00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,334
See? Told you
it would work.
716
00:38:59,087 --> 00:39:01,839
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
717
00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:07,011
Nah, nah, nah, nah,
nah, nah, nah
718
00:39:07,595 --> 00:39:08,637
{GASPS}
719
00:39:09,097 --> 00:39:10,097
Rodrick!
720
00:39:10,515 --> 00:39:12,850
The bathroom door!
The door doesn't
have a lock on it.
721
00:39:12,934 --> 00:39:15,310
The other door
had a lock on it and
this doesn't. We're dead.
722
00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:16,353
And if they find out. . .
723
00:39:16,438 --> 00:39:17,980
{Shushing}
724
00:39:20,734 --> 00:39:22,693
Greg?
FRANK: Hey, guys!
725
00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:25,821
Hi.
Hey, Mom, Dad.
726
00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:28,490
Hey, how's Manny?
ls he feeling better?
Poor little guy.
727
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,368
Yeah. He's doing okay.
728
00:39:31,453 --> 00:39:33,829
SUSAN: Wow.
The house looks
pretty good.
729
00:39:33,913 --> 00:39:35,914
l was expecting
a real mess.
730
00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:37,499
Oh. . . {Sighs}
731
00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:39,084
Who ate pretzels
on the rug?
732
00:39:39,252 --> 00:39:40,252
{CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY}
733
00:39:41,379 --> 00:39:42,379
So . .
734
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:45,716
Who came over
this weekend?
735
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,385
{Laughing}
What? Nobody.
736
00:39:48,845 --> 00:39:51,597
You said nobody, Dad.
No means no, right?
737
00:39:51,681 --> 00:39:54,141
Yeah, yeah. Good boy.
738
00:40:00,815 --> 00:40:01,857
So,
739
00:40:03,860 --> 00:40:06,153
you guys just hung out?
740
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:07,905
Had a good time
together, huh?
741
00:40:07,989 --> 00:40:09,740
Yeah, actually.
742
00:40:09,991 --> 00:40:11,950
You know,
l never thought
l'd admit this,
743
00:40:12,035 --> 00:40:13,994
but we had a pretty
good time together.
744
00:40:15,205 --> 00:40:16,371
Really?
745
00:40:16,456 --> 00:40:18,665
Yeah. Surprised me, too.
746
00:40:18,792 --> 00:40:22,795
So you just
worked it all out
by yourselves?
747
00:40:22,879 --> 00:40:26,256
Yeah, l guess. l don't know.
Mom, don't make a big deal
about it.
748
00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:27,633
Please, just. . .
Okay. Okay.
749
00:40:27,717 --> 00:40:30,177
But nothing. . .
Nothing makes me happier
750
00:40:30,261 --> 00:40:31,762
than to see you two
being friends.
751
00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:32,971
Right, Frank?
752
00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:34,181
Hmm? Yeah.
753
00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:37,059
Yeah.
754
00:40:38,478 --> 00:40:40,854
Okay, let's go upstairs.
755
00:40:42,398 --> 00:40:44,274
{Singsong}
Time for a nappy.
756
00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:45,692
{EXHALES}
757
00:40:47,195 --> 00:40:49,196
FRANK: Hey! What the. . .
758
00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:54,451
You guys got something
you want to tell me?
759
00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:56,703
No.
760
00:40:57,372 --> 00:41:02,501
What was General Grant
doing on the thermostat?
761
00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:04,962
l have no idea.
762
00:41:05,046 --> 00:41:06,380
No idea.
763
00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:08,382
No idea, huh?
764
00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:15,389
Don't. . . These. . .
These are off limits!
No touch !
765
00:41:15,515 --> 00:41:19,476
They are not toys.
They're figurines!
766
00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:21,812
l can't. . .
767
00:41:24,065 --> 00:41:26,024
{Whispering}
We have to keep them
away from the bathroom.
768
00:41:26,109 --> 00:41:27,568
For the next 1 0 years?
769
00:41:27,694 --> 00:41:29,153
Listen to me.
770
00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:33,157
No matter what they ask you,
no matter how hard they push,
771
00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:35,200
deny, deny, deny.
772
00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:40,080
Even if they figure it out,
never ever admit to anything.
773
00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:43,542
Deny, deny, deny.
Got it?
774
00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:47,504
Got it.
Deny, deny, deny.
775
00:41:48,423 --> 00:41:51,425
it sounds to me like,
"Lie, lie, lie."
776
00:41:51,718 --> 00:41:54,136
l kind of wish
you hadn't told me.
777
00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:58,974
Don't you understand?
Rodrick isn't
beating me up anymore.
778
00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:02,227
But how are they
not going to notice
that the lock's gone?
779
00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:04,271
Please.
They're like 40.
780
00:42:04,814 --> 00:42:06,982
They can barely
remember our names.
781
00:42:12,155 --> 00:42:14,781
Hi, Greg !
l've returned from
halfway around the world.
782
00:42:16,159 --> 00:42:19,620
And l see that
you're even further than
that from Holly Hills.
783
00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:22,915
l guess your
unappealing older brother
was right about you.
784
00:42:22,999 --> 00:42:24,541
You have no game.
785
00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:26,460
GREG: You know what?
786
00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:30,088
I liked Chirag
a whole lot better
when he was in India.
787
00:42:30,173 --> 00:42:32,382
Man, l sure
do miss Chirag.
788
00:42:32,467 --> 00:42:33,759
l wonder when
he's coming back.
789
00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:37,638
it�s almost like l can
feel his presence.
790
00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:40,641
What are you
talking about?
Here l am !
791
00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:43,644
Did you just
hear something?
792
00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:44,770
{Kids Laughing}
793
00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:46,021
No. Nothing.
794
00:42:46,356 --> 00:42:49,983
Well, better get to class.
Chirag would've
wanted it that way.
795
00:42:50,068 --> 00:42:51,318
{Kids Laughing}
BOY: Good one, Greg.
796
00:42:51,486 --> 00:42:54,529
You may be able
to dominate me physically,
Greg Hefley,
797
00:42:54,614 --> 00:42:57,324
but mentally,
l am the more muscular!
798
00:42:57,784 --> 00:42:59,910
GREG: It is officially on.
799
00:43:08,670 --> 00:43:09,795
Hey, Rowley.
800
00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:11,088
Hey.
801
00:43:14,968 --> 00:43:16,426
Does he know
about the D-O-R-E?
802
00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:18,512
Huh?
803
00:43:18,846 --> 00:43:19,846
The door!
804
00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:24,476
Yeah. Don't worry.
l already told him,
deny, deny, deny.
805
00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,520
Hi, Rowley!
What's new, huh?
806
00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:31,149
{Stuttering}
807
00:43:34,779 --> 00:43:35,779
Okay.
808
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:40,617
{Whispering}
809
00:43:40,702 --> 00:43:43,745
FRANK: Hey, wasn't there
a lock on this door?
810
00:43:45,999 --> 00:43:48,333
l must be
losing my marbles.
811
00:43:48,418 --> 00:43:49,835
{ALL SlGH in Relief}
812
00:43:50,044 --> 00:43:53,380
Oh. l can't
take this pressure.
l'm leaving.
813
00:43:53,798 --> 00:43:55,549
Okay, everybody,
dinnertime!
814
00:43:56,217 --> 00:43:58,302
Actually, Mom,
l have to skip dinner.
815
00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:00,137
Why?
816
00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:02,472
l've got the most
important meeting
of my life tonight.
817
00:44:02,598 --> 00:44:04,308
Did you say you
have a meeting?
Yeah.
818
00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:07,519
Like, for like a job?
Yeah. Kind of.
819
00:44:07,729 --> 00:44:10,230
l'm meeting with
the best guitarist
in Plainview.
820
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,150
Now he's in between bands,
and if l can get him
into Löded Dipper,
821
00:44:13,234 --> 00:44:15,360
then winning
the talent show
is a lock.
822
00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:18,613
l mean, you'd like him, Dad.
He's a real professional,
like you.
823
00:44:18,865 --> 00:44:20,115
Mmm-hmm.
Be supportive.
824
00:44:20,241 --> 00:44:21,283
{Banging ON DOOR}
825
00:44:21,367 --> 00:44:23,327
That's him.
l'll get that!
826
00:44:23,745 --> 00:44:27,289
Oh, man,
l barely made it here.
827
00:44:27,373 --> 00:44:29,458
Your address has
so many numbers!
828
00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:32,002
All right, Bill,
we should. . .
Whoa!
829
00:44:33,755 --> 00:44:36,048
Do l smell pot roast?
830
00:44:44,599 --> 00:44:45,932
Oh ! Mmm.
831
00:44:47,769 --> 00:44:50,354
GREG: BiII got voted
"Most Likely to Be
a Rock Star"
832
00:44:50,438 --> 00:44:51,563
when he was
in high school.
833
00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:54,024
BOY: You suck!
834
00:44:55,610 --> 00:44:57,277
That hasn't
really worked out.
835
00:44:57,487 --> 00:44:58,612
We should be going. . .
836
00:44:58,696 --> 00:44:59,780
Sit.
837
00:45:02,075 --> 00:45:04,117
So, Bill,
838
00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:08,038
Rodrick tells me that you're
a professional musician.
839
00:45:08,122 --> 00:45:11,625
So that means
that you earn enough
to make a living?
840
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:13,960
Oh, yeah ! Yeah.
841
00:45:14,629 --> 00:45:18,090
Well, enough if you live
in your parents' basement.
{LAUGHS}
842
00:45:18,633 --> 00:45:20,717
My parents are
really supportive.
843
00:45:20,802 --> 00:45:23,762
Respect your parents,
boys!
844
00:45:23,846 --> 00:45:25,555
Hey! That's what
Joshie says!
845
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,765
Shh !
846
00:45:26,849 --> 00:45:27,849
So . .
847
00:45:28,893 --> 00:45:31,061
it doesn't sound
like a cakewalk, right?
No.
848
00:45:31,145 --> 00:45:32,312
Why don't you
tell Rodrick?
849
00:45:32,397 --> 00:45:35,399
Give him a picture
of just how challenging
it can really be.
850
00:45:35,483 --> 00:45:37,484
No, it's really hard.
851
00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:40,862
First of all,
there's no home-cooked
meals like this.
852
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:43,198
What? Really?
853
00:45:43,282 --> 00:45:47,536
Yeah, yeah !
No, on the road,
it's all
854
00:45:47,620 --> 00:45:51,456
burgers and fries
and pizza.
855
00:45:51,541 --> 00:45:54,668
Then you got to
deal with the fans,
especially the girls.
856
00:45:55,795 --> 00:45:59,464
No, it's definitely
not for everyone.
857
00:46:00,299 --> 00:46:01,466
But. . .
858
00:46:02,510 --> 00:46:08,348
lf you like rocking
deep into the night
and partying hard all day
859
00:46:08,975 --> 00:46:11,935
then it might be
the life for you.
it�s definitely for me.
860
00:46:12,019 --> 00:46:13,562
ROWLEY:
it does sound fun.
861
00:46:13,688 --> 00:46:16,523
But what if
you don't play
a musical instrument?
862
00:46:17,525 --> 00:46:19,734
Löded Dipper
always needs roadies.
863
00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:22,362
So you're
joining the band?
864
00:46:22,447 --> 00:46:23,947
Yeah, brother!
865
00:46:24,031 --> 00:46:26,032
l'm in. Let's rock!
Yeah !
866
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:27,826
{Bill Cheering}
867
00:46:32,081 --> 00:46:33,206
{Cheering}
868
00:46:37,879 --> 00:46:40,672
l think l might have
brought too much stuff.
869
00:46:40,756 --> 00:46:43,341
Let's see
how many views
our video's got.
870
00:46:43,426 --> 00:46:45,218
it�s got to be thousands.
871
00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:46,845
Maybe millions!
872
00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:51,641
Four? We only got
four lousy hits?
873
00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:56,229
Greg, l can't lie to
your parents about
the party. l never lie.
874
00:46:56,314 --> 00:46:58,148
Joshie says
a lie hurts everyone.
875
00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:02,903
Guess who wanted to join
the big boy sleepover!
876
00:47:02,987 --> 00:47:04,154
Bubby, Rowley!
877
00:47:04,238 --> 00:47:05,363
Mom, no,
he'll ruin it!
878
00:47:05,448 --> 00:47:08,074
He just wanted to come in
and say hi to Rowley.
All right?
879
00:47:08,910 --> 00:47:11,328
And Rowley's mother
brought over
some healthy snacks
880
00:47:11,412 --> 00:47:14,289
and DVDs
that she thought
were appropriate.
881
00:47:15,416 --> 00:47:18,418
Enjoy your
granola bars, boys.
882
00:47:20,129 --> 00:47:21,379
{ROWLEY Sighs}
883
00:47:23,466 --> 00:47:27,010
Andy's Magic Cushion.
Let's start with that.
884
00:47:28,804 --> 00:47:32,057
Or should
we watch The Foot?
885
00:47:35,269 --> 00:47:37,979
What if she comes back in
and asks about the party?
886
00:47:38,064 --> 00:47:39,731
You need to relax.
887
00:47:41,275 --> 00:47:42,609
How about
a healthy snack?
888
00:47:47,281 --> 00:47:48,615
{Sighs}
889
00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,543
We shouldn't be here.
890
00:47:59,627 --> 00:48:02,087
We can't just let ourselves
into a stranger's home.
891
00:48:02,171 --> 00:48:05,465
The place is empty.
Nobody's going to mind.
892
00:48:05,633 --> 00:48:06,841
{WOMAN GASPS}
893
00:48:07,510 --> 00:48:08,510
Oh.
894
00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:10,845
Look at his face.
895
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:14,933
WOMAN: What happened
to his foot?
896
00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:23,692
It sounded like
someone was hopping.
897
00:48:23,776 --> 00:48:25,735
I'm telling you,
it's nothing.
898
00:48:25,820 --> 00:48:27,737
It's just
your imagination.
899
00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:28,822
{Exclaims}
900
00:48:30,116 --> 00:48:32,075
Did you just kick me?
901
00:48:32,159 --> 00:48:34,327
{Thumping}
902
00:48:38,541 --> 00:48:40,292
{SHRlLL SCREAM}
903
00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:48,717
{GROANS}
904
00:48:48,801 --> 00:48:51,595
You know, you really need
to cut your toenails.
905
00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:53,597
What was that?
906
00:49:00,521 --> 00:49:01,521
{SCREAMS}
907
00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:05,900
Turn it off!
Turn it off!
908
00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:08,028
GREG: Okay. Only
'cause you're scared.
909
00:49:08,362 --> 00:49:09,904
{BOTH Panting}
910
00:49:10,823 --> 00:49:12,699
Let's just go to sleep.
911
00:49:14,577 --> 00:49:17,537
ROWLEY:
l wish we had watched
Andy's Magic Cushion.
912
00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:29,841
l love this movie, Frank.
Don't you just
love this movie?
913
00:49:32,053 --> 00:49:35,055
He picked the housekeeper
over the supermodel?
914
00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:36,431
{Snickering}
915
00:49:36,515 --> 00:49:38,058
l know.
916
00:49:38,726 --> 00:49:40,435
{ROWLEY Screaming}
917
00:49:41,103 --> 00:49:43,313
it�s got me!
The foot has got me!
918
00:49:43,397 --> 00:49:46,399
{BOTH Screaming}
919
00:50:00,581 --> 00:50:04,959
Greg, is there something
you want to say to
Rowley and his father?
920
00:50:06,545 --> 00:50:09,839
l'm sorry for choosing
an inappropriate movie
for the sleepover.
921
00:50:10,883 --> 00:50:13,009
At least nobody
got hurt this time.
922
00:50:13,094 --> 00:50:15,845
l'm a little birdy.
l'm a little birdy!
923
00:50:15,930 --> 00:50:17,389
{Crashing}
924
00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:19,641
{Grunting}
My knee bone.
925
00:50:25,231 --> 00:50:26,523
What?
926
00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:36,616
Mommy, look.
927
00:50:36,701 --> 00:50:40,328
Mommy is looking.
Mommy's looked
a thousand times!
928
00:50:40,955 --> 00:50:44,290
Mommy just needs
to go to the potty
for one minute, okay?
929
00:50:45,167 --> 00:50:47,127
No! No!
930
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:53,466
SUSAN: What the heck?
Where's the lock?
931
00:50:54,343 --> 00:50:55,468
Wait.
932
00:51:08,482 --> 00:51:11,317
SUSAN:
Rodrick, could you
come here, please?
933
00:51:11,777 --> 00:51:13,945
What happened
to the lock?
934
00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:15,905
l don't know what
you're talking about.
935
00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:17,991
There was a lock
on this door.
936
00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:19,951
Um. . . {LAUGHS}
937
00:51:20,035 --> 00:51:21,661
l don't think so.
938
00:51:21,746 --> 00:51:24,330
Rodrick,
l've lived in this house
for 1 0 years.
939
00:51:24,415 --> 00:51:26,249
l've locked that door
1 0,000 times
940
00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:30,128
because sometimes
it's my only moment
of privacy of the day.
941
00:51:30,212 --> 00:51:31,254
l know there was
a lock on that door.
942
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:32,422
There wasn't.
Trust me.
943
00:51:32,506 --> 00:51:34,674
Greg has walked in
on me a million times.
944
00:51:34,759 --> 00:51:37,177
And if there was a lock,
l would use it.
945
00:51:38,262 --> 00:51:40,847
in fact, maybe
you should put one on.
946
00:51:42,099 --> 00:51:43,600
So that's your story.
947
00:51:43,684 --> 00:51:46,811
There was never a lock
and you have no idea
what l'm talking about.
948
00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:49,606
Yes.
949
00:51:50,858 --> 00:51:54,110
Fine. l'll just
go ask your brother
the same thing.
950
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:01,701
{Whimpers}
951
00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:06,498
Greg? Two words.
952
00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:11,211
Bathroom door.
953
00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:19,552
it was Rodrick!
He made me!
it was his idea.
954
00:52:19,637 --> 00:52:22,055
He had the party!
Someone wrote on the door,
so we had to change it!
955
00:52:22,139 --> 00:52:23,932
l knew it. l knew it.
956
00:52:24,016 --> 00:52:26,100
No, Mom, wait!
l was exaggerating
a little bit.
957
00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:28,186
it wasn't a party.
it was a band rehearsal
958
00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:29,646
for the talent show.
That's all it was.
959
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:32,649
We said nobody
could come over.
He knew the rules.
960
00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:34,651
Yeah, but, Mom,
if you punish him,
961
00:52:34,735 --> 00:52:36,152
Rodrick's going to know
l told on him.
962
00:52:36,237 --> 00:52:39,823
We really had
a good time this weekend.
But if you do this,
963
00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:42,492
Rodrick and l will never,
ever be friends again.
964
00:52:43,494 --> 00:52:47,539
The idea that one day
my kids won't get to know
their Uncle Rodrick?
965
00:52:47,623 --> 00:52:49,666
Or have any
family holidays?
966
00:52:50,376 --> 00:52:52,919
You two really
have been getting along
better this week, haven't you?
967
00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:55,547
Yeah. We really have.
968
00:52:55,631 --> 00:52:56,631
{Sighs}
969
00:52:59,802 --> 00:53:00,802
{Exclaims}
970
00:53:01,637 --> 00:53:03,096
Okay, if. . .
971
00:53:04,765 --> 00:53:07,100
lf l let this slide,
972
00:53:08,602 --> 00:53:12,689
and be our little secret
for the sake of the family,
973
00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:14,524
and for your relationship
with your brother,
974
00:53:14,608 --> 00:53:18,611
do you swear to be
on your best behaviour
and get along?
975
00:53:19,572 --> 00:53:21,364
l swear. l swear.
976
00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:31,165
Okay.
977
00:53:34,795 --> 00:53:36,296
{Sighs in Relief}
978
00:53:45,931 --> 00:53:48,474
You didn't buckle.
979
00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:50,977
Deny, deny,
deny, right?
980
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:56,482
You know. . .
981
00:53:57,985 --> 00:54:02,655
You may not be half as lame
as l thought you were.
982
00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:07,660
GREG:
I couldn't believe it!
983
00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:10,288
Rodrick was actually
trying to be nice to me.
984
00:54:15,544 --> 00:54:19,422
Wow!
You're a Mom Bucks
millionaire!
985
00:54:19,506 --> 00:54:21,424
Where'd you get these?
Thrift shops.
986
00:54:21,508 --> 00:54:24,594
There's enough in here
to last me until l'm 30.
987
00:54:24,678 --> 00:54:25,970
{GROANS}
988
00:54:26,805 --> 00:54:32,560
it�s about time, little bro,
that you learn the secrets
to an easy life.
989
00:54:33,729 --> 00:54:35,146
Rule number one,
990
00:54:35,230 --> 00:54:37,231
don't be good at something
you don't want to do.
991
00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:47,116
Guys!
Use clean rags, not. . .
992
00:54:47,201 --> 00:54:51,496
Just give me that!
l'll do it myself.
993
00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:57,377
Rule number two,
always lower Mom
and Dad's expectations.
994
00:55:02,132 --> 00:55:04,717
Hey, l took
a math test today
995
00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:06,469
and l'm pretty sure
l flunked it.
996
00:55:06,553 --> 00:55:07,720
Oh, Greg !
997
00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:10,974
But l got it back,
and look!
998
00:55:11,058 --> 00:55:12,642
l got a C minus.
999
00:55:13,894 --> 00:55:16,187
Well, at least
you didn't fail.
1000
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:21,067
Rule number three,
never do something
1001
00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:23,444
when someone else
can do it for you.
1002
00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:24,737
{Exclaims}
1003
00:55:25,656 --> 00:55:28,199
"1 00 Years Ago."
l remember that
assignment.
1004
00:55:28,909 --> 00:55:30,660
Why write a new one
1005
00:55:30,744 --> 00:55:32,620
when there's
a perfectly good paper
1006
00:55:32,705 --> 00:55:34,914
already written
by your brother?
1007
00:55:37,209 --> 00:55:38,835
isn�t that cheating?
1008
00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:40,878
isn�t Mr. Draybick
cheating
1009
00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:44,674
by handing out
the same assignment
every year?
1010
00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:50,596
New binder.
Teachers dig binders.
1011
00:55:52,391 --> 00:55:53,641
GREG: The thing was,
1012
00:55:53,726 --> 00:55:55,685
Rodrick had managed
to get my dad to do
1013
00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:57,979
all his homework
for the past five years.
1014
00:55:58,856 --> 00:56:00,690
Which one's
the space bar again?
1015
00:56:00,774 --> 00:56:03,651
Just let me do it,
okay? Okay.
1016
00:56:03,736 --> 00:56:07,071
I would never actually
hand in a paper
Rodrick wrote.
1017
00:56:07,156 --> 00:56:09,866
But my dad?
That's a different story.
1018
00:56:09,950 --> 00:56:12,827
So that's just
three of the things
Rodrick has taught me.
1019
00:56:12,911 --> 00:56:14,454
He has a lot
of cool tips.
1020
00:56:14,538 --> 00:56:17,582
l'm not sure Rodrick's tips
are really that cool.
1021
00:56:20,002 --> 00:56:22,795
Okay, so the
invisible Chirag joke
is still going,
1022
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:24,922
and the whole school
is in on it.
1023
00:56:25,007 --> 00:56:27,550
But it looks like Chirag's
discovered our weakness.
1024
00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:29,469
Hello, Greg, Rowley.
1025
00:56:29,553 --> 00:56:31,804
Still pretending
l'm invisible,
l presume.
1026
00:56:31,889 --> 00:56:33,431
{Whispers}
l don't know
if l can do this.
1027
00:56:34,683 --> 00:56:36,726
{Whispers}
Stay strong.
1028
00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:38,811
What is this?
A corn dog.
1029
00:56:38,896 --> 00:56:42,106
Rowley's all-time
favourite lunch delicacy.
1030
00:56:42,191 --> 00:56:46,402
lf you say you
can see me, Rowley,
it is all yours.
1031
00:56:47,488 --> 00:56:51,282
Mmm. Smell that
buttermilk batter.
1032
00:56:51,366 --> 00:56:52,867
Girl 1 :
You got him, Chirag.
{ROWLEY Grunting}
1033
00:56:52,951 --> 00:56:53,993
Girl 1 : Resist it.
1034
00:56:54,078 --> 00:56:55,078
Girl 2:
Don't do it, Rowley.
1035
00:56:56,205 --> 00:56:58,956
Hey, everyone, look!
There's a floating
corn dog.
1036
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:01,417
{ALL Laughing}
1037
00:57:07,091 --> 00:57:09,092
I don't want to
get ahead of myself
or anything,
1038
00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:12,762
but I think I may have
Class Clown in the bag
for dreaming this one up.
1039
00:57:12,846 --> 00:57:13,846
{Honking}
1040
00:57:14,348 --> 00:57:17,934
in conclusion,
without last century's
technological advances,
1041
00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:23,523
there would be no computers,
cell phones,
or modern medical miracles.
1042
00:57:23,607 --> 00:57:27,652
And so for that,
we salute and thank
our ancestors
1043
00:57:27,736 --> 00:57:29,195
from 1 00 years ago.
1044
00:57:36,995 --> 00:57:39,789
Thank you, Holly.
That was excellent work.
1045
00:57:39,873 --> 00:57:42,416
l think we have time
for one more.
1046
00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:46,337
l have to say that
when l read this paper
1047
00:57:46,421 --> 00:57:48,464
l was a bit surprised
by its content.
1048
00:57:48,549 --> 00:57:54,387
But more than any other,
this one deserves
to be read out loud.
1049
00:57:56,265 --> 00:57:57,348
Greg?
1050
00:57:59,726 --> 00:58:01,352
Yay, Greg !
1051
00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:15,658
Just read it, Greg.
All of it.
1052
00:58:18,579 --> 00:58:19,829
GREG: Okay.
1053
00:58:21,165 --> 00:58:25,334
"Sometimes l sit and wonder
about stuff l do not know
1054
00:58:25,419 --> 00:58:29,505
"Like what the Earth
was like 1 00 years ago
1055
00:58:29,590 --> 00:58:35,094
"Did cavemen
ride on dinosaurs?
Did flowers even grow?
1056
00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:40,057
"Did spiders rule the Earth?
Were deserts filled with snow?
1057
00:58:40,142 --> 00:58:43,811
"There were no
books or humans, so
How were we to know
1058
00:58:43,896 --> 00:58:46,939
"What life was
like 1 00 years ago?"
1059
00:58:50,152 --> 00:58:51,277
Loser.
1060
00:58:53,614 --> 00:58:58,326
Now, Greg, when we talk
about how important
it is to recycle,
1061
00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:01,245
we don't mean turning in
your brother's old papers.
1062
00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:10,046
l thought Dad helped
you with this paper.
1063
00:59:10,130 --> 00:59:12,048
Well, actually,
1064
00:59:12,132 --> 00:59:14,634
Dad started
writing my papers
because of that paper.
1065
00:59:14,718 --> 00:59:16,093
l looked like an idiot!
1066
00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:19,931
And the girl
from the roller rink?
She laughed at me.
1067
00:59:20,599 --> 00:59:21,724
Ouch !
1068
00:59:21,934 --> 00:59:24,977
Just do something
that changes
her opinion of you.
1069
00:59:25,062 --> 00:59:27,939
Like, set a firecracker
off in the classroom.
Boom !
1070
00:59:28,023 --> 00:59:29,398
Chicks dig bad boys.
1071
00:59:29,483 --> 00:59:33,236
Well, actually
l was thinking about
writing her a note.
1072
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:35,571
You mean like one
with words on it?
1073
00:59:35,781 --> 00:59:37,198
l've got it
all figured out.
1074
00:59:37,282 --> 00:59:40,493
I'm going to pass her a note
with a question on it,
but it'll be anonymous.
1075
00:59:40,577 --> 00:59:42,745
She'll be like,
"I have to know
who wrote this."
1076
00:59:42,829 --> 00:59:44,497
Then later,
I'll walk up to her
1077
00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:46,874
and ask her
the exact same question.
1078
00:59:46,959 --> 00:59:48,542
It'll blow her mind.
1079
00:59:48,627 --> 00:59:50,253
{Whispers} A note?
1080
00:59:50,337 --> 00:59:52,088
Do you want me
to spell check it?
1081
00:59:52,172 --> 00:59:54,006
{Whispers}
Just pass it to Holly.
1082
00:59:55,217 --> 00:59:56,509
To Holly.
1083
00:59:58,011 --> 00:59:59,345
{Sighs}
1084
01:00:09,356 --> 01:00:10,356
{Mouthing}
Thank you.
1085
01:00:14,861 --> 01:00:16,112
{Whispers}
it�s from Greg.
1086
01:00:25,956 --> 01:00:27,123
What's going on?
1087
01:00:27,207 --> 01:00:29,834
Greg Hefley is
passing me notes!
1088
01:00:29,918 --> 01:00:31,544
No, l wasn't.
1089
01:00:33,505 --> 01:00:36,424
"How do you get your hair
to smell so beautiful?"
1090
01:00:36,675 --> 01:00:37,925
{ALL Laughing}
1091
01:00:53,859 --> 01:00:55,234
{Sniffs}
1092
01:00:56,069 --> 01:00:57,820
GREG: Okay.
The note was
a minor setback,
1093
01:00:57,904 --> 01:01:00,573
but at least things
are still going well
with Rodrick.
1094
01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:02,992
It's amazing but
I'm actually enjoying
1095
01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:05,536
watching Löded Dipper rehearse
for the talent show.
1096
01:01:05,620 --> 01:01:08,039
Bill's taken the band
to a whole new level.
1097
01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:09,915
{Echoing}
Somebody farted.
1098
01:01:13,587 --> 01:01:16,464
l got one. l got one.
l got a good one.
l got a good one.
1099
01:01:17,549 --> 01:01:18,883
{Echoing}
Somebody farted.
1100
01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:27,183
My dad should be happy
that I'm hanging out
with Rodrick.
1101
01:01:27,267 --> 01:01:29,685
But I don't think
he really likes Bill.
1102
01:01:29,770 --> 01:01:32,855
I think
what he's worried about is
l'll turn out like Rodrick,
1103
01:01:32,939 --> 01:01:36,859
Manny'll turn out like me,
and, eventually,
we'll all turn out like Bill.
1104
01:01:36,943 --> 01:01:38,527
Rock and roll !
1105
01:01:39,321 --> 01:01:40,863
Rock on.
Yeah.
1106
01:02:04,513 --> 01:02:07,556
HOLLY: Dear Greg,
meet me in the art room
before lunch.
1107
01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:10,893
There's something
I want to ask you.
Kiss, kiss. Holly.
1108
01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:30,079
Hi, Holly!
l was glad to
get your note.
1109
01:02:30,163 --> 01:02:32,164
l've been wanting
a chance to talk to you.
1110
01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:37,670
And, hey, you like to paint.
l'm kind of an artist myself.
1111
01:02:40,173 --> 01:02:41,257
Holly?
1112
01:02:45,387 --> 01:02:46,387
Ha!
1113
01:02:46,513 --> 01:02:48,097
{GASPS} Chirag?
1114
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:53,519
You see me now, don't you?
Game, set and match
to Chirag Gupta!
1115
01:03:03,864 --> 01:03:05,739
{Panting}
1116
01:03:09,870 --> 01:03:11,579
Hi, Holly.
Hi, Fregley.
1117
01:03:13,206 --> 01:03:14,457
She thinks
l'm Fregley?
1118
01:03:14,583 --> 01:03:15,875
That's got to hurt.
1119
01:03:17,294 --> 01:03:18,544
{Sighs}
1120
01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:21,755
{Chattering}
1121
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,049
Want to see
my secret freckle?
1122
01:03:24,468 --> 01:03:25,676
BOTH: Ew!
1123
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,219
{Laughing}
1124
01:03:29,598 --> 01:03:32,725
So the note to the girl
didn't work out?
1125
01:03:34,895 --> 01:03:39,482
All right. Let's go.
Little bro,
l am taking you out.
1126
01:03:41,401 --> 01:03:43,360
And here are
my other men.
1127
01:03:43,445 --> 01:03:45,488
Greg, Rodrick,
l'd like you to
meet my editors,
1128
01:03:45,572 --> 01:03:46,989
Mr. Salz and Mrs. Kohan.
1129
01:03:47,073 --> 01:03:49,492
Hey. Hello.
Nice to meet you.
Hello.
1130
01:03:49,576 --> 01:03:51,118
Where you boys off to?
1131
01:03:51,203 --> 01:03:52,703
Just taking
the little brother out
1132
01:03:52,787 --> 01:03:54,830
for the evening.
He could use a good time.
1133
01:03:54,915 --> 01:03:57,750
Okay, well, be safe.
And be home by 9:00.
1134
01:03:59,085 --> 01:04:01,128
Yeah. See you !
1135
01:04:02,005 --> 01:04:04,006
Bye.
Bye. Have fun !
1136
01:04:04,090 --> 01:04:05,341
Good night.
1137
01:04:05,425 --> 01:04:08,260
Now that is impressive.
1138
01:04:08,637 --> 01:04:11,597
My older boy
wants nothing to do
with his younger brothers.
1139
01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:14,058
MRS. KOHAN: You certainly
practice what you preach.
1140
01:04:14,142 --> 01:04:16,393
l think every mother in town
should read your column.
1141
01:04:17,812 --> 01:04:18,812
Thanks.
1142
01:04:28,615 --> 01:04:32,034
Mom would kill us
if she saw us eating this.
1143
01:04:32,118 --> 01:04:33,786
{BOTH Moaning}
1144
01:04:38,959 --> 01:04:40,125
{Slurping}
1145
01:04:40,502 --> 01:04:42,294
{Groaning}
1146
01:04:42,921 --> 01:04:45,464
Brain freeze!
Brain freeze!
1147
01:04:45,549 --> 01:04:49,385
All l can say is,
get ready to have
your mind blown.
1148
01:04:49,469 --> 01:04:51,929
We are going to
have an epic night.
1149
01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:55,349
{Groaning}
1150
01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:56,934
Are you okay?
1151
01:04:57,310 --> 01:04:58,978
{Retching}
1152
01:05:00,647 --> 01:05:03,190
{LAUGHS} Fake vomit.
You can't beat
the classics.
1153
01:05:03,608 --> 01:05:04,692
Yeah.
1154
01:05:06,987 --> 01:05:10,155
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here he comes.
1155
01:05:10,448 --> 01:05:11,448
{SCREAMS}
1156
01:05:11,658 --> 01:05:12,950
{Panting}
1157
01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:20,416
Okay. Very funny!
Very funny.
1158
01:05:23,837 --> 01:05:25,129
GREG: This is sweet!
1159
01:05:25,213 --> 01:05:26,505
l told you.
1160
01:05:30,093 --> 01:05:31,176
{Exclaims in Disgust}
1161
01:05:32,637 --> 01:05:36,265
{SCREAMS}
1162
01:05:43,481 --> 01:05:47,735
So, you know that girl
who l sent the note to?
1163
01:05:48,278 --> 01:05:49,486
Yeah?
1164
01:05:50,030 --> 01:05:52,031
She thinks l'm Fregley.
1165
01:05:52,115 --> 01:05:54,366
{Laughing} Oh, man !
1166
01:05:55,285 --> 01:05:58,287
l mean, hey,
don't take it hard.
1167
01:05:58,371 --> 01:06:01,123
Girls act like
they're not into you
when they really are.
1168
01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:06,629
l mean, tons of girls
act like they're not
into me, but they are.
1169
01:06:06,713 --> 01:06:09,632
l know they are.
l bet she really
likes you.
1170
01:06:09,716 --> 01:06:10,883
{FOOTSTEPS}
1171
01:06:12,218 --> 01:06:14,053
{Whispers}
Check it out.
Check it out.
1172
01:06:15,597 --> 01:06:16,597
Whoa!
1173
01:06:18,266 --> 01:06:19,808
{RODRlCK Laughing}
1174
01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:25,439
Who's out there?
1175
01:06:26,733 --> 01:06:27,941
No way.
1176
01:06:28,068 --> 01:06:29,318
Coach Malone?
1177
01:06:29,402 --> 01:06:31,820
Real funny, yeah?
Oh, yeah !
1178
01:06:31,905 --> 01:06:35,616
Well, you just messed
with the wrong athlete!
1179
01:06:35,700 --> 01:06:36,909
Move. Move!
1180
01:06:38,453 --> 01:06:40,371
MALONE: Show yourself!
Go, go!
1181
01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:44,750
You want to take me on? Yeah?
You want to take me on?
1182
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,711
You better bring your A game,
'cause l am a competitor!
1183
01:06:47,796 --> 01:06:49,421
Come on !
MALONE:
You will come out!
1184
01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:51,674
You know l'm going
to find you !
1185
01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:52,800
Help!
1186
01:06:52,884 --> 01:06:53,926
Come on.
1187
01:06:55,095 --> 01:06:56,762
Something tickles.
1188
01:06:57,097 --> 01:06:58,597
{Screaming}
1189
01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:04,561
RODRlCK: Come on.
Come on. Come on.
1190
01:07:05,438 --> 01:07:06,438
{YELLS}
1191
01:07:06,523 --> 01:07:08,065
{GREG Whimpering}
1192
01:07:08,149 --> 01:07:12,444
MALONE:
You can't outrun me!
l'm a superstar!
1193
01:07:12,570 --> 01:07:13,862
RODRlCK:
Go, go, go, go!
1194
01:07:13,947 --> 01:07:16,073
MALONE:
Everywhere you go,
it's me!
1195
01:07:16,866 --> 01:07:18,575
{RODRlCK Shrieks}
{MALONE Grunting}
1196
01:07:19,452 --> 01:07:21,328
Stupid carbs!
1197
01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:23,831
There's the mall !
Come on.
1198
01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:25,582
l can't go
much further!
1199
01:07:25,667 --> 01:07:26,959
{GREG Panting}
1200
01:07:37,637 --> 01:07:38,804
{Panting}
1201
01:07:41,141 --> 01:07:42,224
{GROWLS}
1202
01:07:42,684 --> 01:07:44,059
Got you !
1203
01:07:45,145 --> 01:07:46,729
{PEOPLE Murmuring}
1204
01:07:46,813 --> 01:07:48,355
WOMAN: Coach Malone?
1205
01:08:02,662 --> 01:08:05,456
"You can't outrun me!
l'm a superstar!"
1206
01:08:05,540 --> 01:08:07,374
"Everywhere you go,
it's me!"
1207
01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:08,667
Come on.
1208
01:08:12,589 --> 01:08:15,132
Oh, you boys
are five minutes early.
Did you have a good time?
1209
01:08:15,216 --> 01:08:16,467
A great time.
1210
01:08:16,551 --> 01:08:18,260
That is so sweet.
1211
01:08:18,344 --> 01:08:20,471
l just can't
get over how well
your boys get along.
1212
01:08:20,555 --> 01:08:23,766
Well, Larry,
we run a pretty tight ship
around here.
1213
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:25,934
it�s all about
boundaries, rules.
1214
01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:29,146
Anyway,
let me show you some of those
Civil War re-enactment photos
1215
01:08:29,230 --> 01:08:30,439
l was telling you about.
1216
01:08:30,523 --> 01:08:32,107
So, what did
you boys do?
1217
01:08:32,192 --> 01:08:35,652
{STUTTERS}
Just hung out
at the mall.
1218
01:08:35,737 --> 01:08:39,948
And talked about life.
Nothing special.
1219
01:08:40,033 --> 01:08:41,033
Oh, my God.
1220
01:08:44,913 --> 01:08:46,330
Rodrick?
1221
01:08:46,414 --> 01:08:48,832
Can you explain
what you're doing
in this photo?
1222
01:08:51,211 --> 01:08:52,252
That's not me.
1223
01:08:55,048 --> 01:08:56,215
That's not you?
1224
01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:57,382
Nope.
1225
01:08:57,759 --> 01:09:00,344
Okay. How about these?
1226
01:09:16,611 --> 01:09:19,321
l can't believe
that you had a party!
1227
01:09:19,405 --> 01:09:23,075
Greg, you told me
it was a couple of kids,
a band rehearsal !
1228
01:09:23,159 --> 01:09:25,577
Wait, Susan,
you knew about this?
1229
01:09:26,246 --> 01:09:27,287
SUSAN: Yes.
1230
01:09:27,372 --> 01:09:28,497
Yes, l knew.
1231
01:09:28,623 --> 01:09:29,748
You told Mom?
1232
01:09:29,833 --> 01:09:31,333
l knew they
had a party!
1233
01:09:31,417 --> 01:09:33,335
it slipped out,
but l took it back!
1234
01:09:33,419 --> 01:09:34,962
My instincts told me
you weren't being honest!
1235
01:09:35,088 --> 01:09:36,588
l should've
trusted my instincts.
FRANK: Wait!
1236
01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:38,841
You knew about this,
but you didn't
tell me about it?
1237
01:09:38,925 --> 01:09:40,509
l still protected you !
1238
01:09:40,593 --> 01:09:41,927
l threw Mom
off your scent!
1239
01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:44,096
Great job.
She has no idea!
1240
01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:47,349
We are supposed
to be a team
against them !
1241
01:09:47,433 --> 01:09:48,851
They were getting
along so well
1242
01:09:48,935 --> 01:09:50,352
l let it blind me
to the truth !
1243
01:09:50,436 --> 01:09:52,187
Why were you
taking pictures?
1244
01:09:52,272 --> 01:09:55,357
it was so crazy that morning,
l forgot we took the pictures.
1245
01:09:55,441 --> 01:09:59,152
So l let it slide.
And l am so sorry.
1246
01:09:59,237 --> 01:10:01,321
Oh, God.
it feels so good
to get that out.
1247
01:10:01,406 --> 01:10:05,367
l haven't been able to look
at that bathroom door
for two weeks!
1248
01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:07,619
l knew that door
had a lock on it!
1249
01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:11,081
And everybody was
trying to make me feel
like l was losing my mind !
1250
01:10:11,165 --> 01:10:13,250
We're just going to
let ourselves out.
1251
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:15,460
l wouldn't write
a column about this.
1252
01:10:18,131 --> 01:10:19,506
{DOOR CLOSES}
1253
01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:22,885
l'm going upstairs!
1254
01:10:22,969 --> 01:10:25,178
To a bathroom
that has a lock on it
1255
01:10:25,263 --> 01:10:28,515
and no one can tell me
that it doesn't.
1256
01:10:30,810 --> 01:10:33,186
l have to go talk
to your father.
1257
01:10:35,356 --> 01:10:37,691
l will deal with
you boys later.
1258
01:10:41,195 --> 01:10:43,447
Rodrick, l really
didn't tell her!
1259
01:10:43,531 --> 01:10:47,284
l mean maybe, sort of,
but l made a deal with her,
1260
01:10:47,368 --> 01:10:50,495
and we had a really
good time, and. . .
1261
01:10:50,580 --> 01:10:52,497
You're my brother,
1262
01:10:52,999 --> 01:10:55,417
but you'll never
be my friend.
1263
01:11:04,552 --> 01:11:06,261
{SUSAN BREATHES DEEPLY}
1264
01:11:17,357 --> 01:11:19,942
Your father and l have talked
and we've decided
on your punishment.
1265
01:11:20,026 --> 01:11:23,612
Greg, you're grounded
for two weeks.
1266
01:11:23,696 --> 01:11:26,740
Also, no video games
for two weeks.
1267
01:11:27,617 --> 01:11:31,745
Rodrick, you may only
drive to and from school
for the next month.
1268
01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:35,707
As the ringleader,
you are also grounded
for a month.
1269
01:11:36,167 --> 01:11:39,795
Mom, l'm sorry,
and l won't do it again.
1270
01:11:39,879 --> 01:11:41,505
l know you won't.
1271
01:11:43,091 --> 01:11:44,716
And to make sure
1272
01:11:46,052 --> 01:11:48,762
we're also
not allowing you to
perform in the talent show.
1273
01:11:49,973 --> 01:11:54,101
What? No.
You can't do that.
1274
01:11:54,185 --> 01:11:56,311
Ground me for a year,
l don't care,
1275
01:11:56,604 --> 01:11:58,605
but you have to let me
play in that show.
1276
01:11:58,690 --> 01:12:00,691
This could be
my big break.
l'm sorry.
1277
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:04,653
Dad? Come on. This isn't fair.
l just got Bill in the band !
1278
01:12:04,737 --> 01:12:07,698
Actually, Rodrick,
that doesn't
help your case.
1279
01:12:07,782 --> 01:12:09,116
Bill's kind of a jerk.
1280
01:12:10,660 --> 01:12:12,869
Our decision is final.
1281
01:12:20,962 --> 01:12:22,587
{Whispers}
You are so dead !
1282
01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:29,386
GREG: Things have
never been worse.
1283
01:12:29,470 --> 01:12:31,013
Our parents are
super mad at us,
1284
01:12:31,097 --> 01:12:32,639
so we have to
spend the weekend
1285
01:12:32,765 --> 01:12:35,851
at my grandpa's
boring retirement community.
1286
01:12:35,935 --> 01:12:38,270
Holly Hills thinks
I'm Fregley,
1287
01:12:38,354 --> 01:12:41,148
and my relationship
with Rodrick
is at an all-time low.
1288
01:12:41,232 --> 01:12:43,942
So he's made it his mission
to ruin my life.
1289
01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:46,903
Quit it!
1290
01:12:46,988 --> 01:12:50,115
Why don't you tell Mom?
You're good at that.
1291
01:12:50,199 --> 01:12:52,200
Grandpa doesn't like TV.
1292
01:12:52,285 --> 01:12:56,038
instead,
he prefers to watch the lobby
on the security channel.
1293
01:12:56,122 --> 01:12:58,540
l should be
rehearsing right now.
1294
01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:03,837
Please, Grandpa.
Please, can we watch
a real TV show now?
1295
01:13:03,921 --> 01:13:06,882
TV is just
a bunch of fakers.
1296
01:13:06,966 --> 01:13:09,259
This is real life.
1297
01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:11,386
it�s real life.
You can't beat it.
1298
01:13:11,471 --> 01:13:12,763
{Sighs}
1299
01:13:15,141 --> 01:13:17,809
How's about we all go down
to the games room?
1300
01:13:17,894 --> 01:13:20,103
You boys like games,
don't you?
1301
01:13:22,148 --> 01:13:23,648
GREG: The games room
sounds fun
1302
01:13:23,733 --> 01:13:28,403
until you realize that
all the games in there
are from, like, the 1 800s.
1303
01:13:28,488 --> 01:13:32,616
My grandpa's favourite
is a really old board game
called Gut busters.
1304
01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:36,661
Now, remember,
the object of the game
is to read the joke card
1305
01:13:36,746 --> 01:13:39,831
and all the other players
have to try not to laugh.
1306
01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:44,169
{Snickers} Good luck!
There are some real
rib-ticklers in there!
1307
01:13:44,253 --> 01:13:46,046
Yeah.
1308
01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:47,464
You go first.
1309
01:13:49,550 --> 01:13:52,803
"Putting economic policy
before fiscal responsibility
1310
01:13:52,887 --> 01:13:55,847
"is like putting the cart
before the horse."
1311
01:14:00,019 --> 01:14:01,728
{Laughing}
1312
01:14:02,897 --> 01:14:05,941
That is hilarious, Grandpa!
Read another one, Greg.
1313
01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:09,194
l'm going to go
change my shirt.
1314
01:14:15,118 --> 01:14:16,201
Hi !
1315
01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:21,957
Oh, hi, Holly.
What are you
doing here?
1316
01:14:22,041 --> 01:14:24,501
l'm visiting my grandma.
She just moved here.
1317
01:14:24,585 --> 01:14:27,045
l'm on Grandpa duty.
1318
01:14:27,130 --> 01:14:30,882
Listen, Greg,
l'm really sorry for calling
you Fregley the other day.
1319
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:32,217
l don't know
what happened.
1320
01:14:32,301 --> 01:14:35,679
l think
it's the Greg and Freg part,
my brain just flipped.
1321
01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:39,975
You called me Fregley?
l had no idea.
1322
01:14:40,059 --> 01:14:41,393
Really?
1323
01:14:41,561 --> 01:14:42,853
Not really.
1324
01:14:42,937 --> 01:14:45,772
l heard it.
it was pretty rough.
1325
01:14:45,857 --> 01:14:48,900
But don't worry,
l have the rest of
middle school to get over it.
1326
01:14:50,444 --> 01:14:52,028
What happened
to your shirt?
1327
01:14:52,113 --> 01:14:55,407
Oh, my brother
spit milk on me.
1328
01:14:55,491 --> 01:14:58,034
Let me guess,
he was pretending
to laugh
1329
01:14:58,119 --> 01:15:00,162
at something that
wasn't actually funny.
1330
01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:01,621
How did you know?
1331
01:15:01,706 --> 01:15:03,498
it�s in the
Older Sibling
Handbook.
1332
01:15:03,583 --> 01:15:07,085
Last week, my older sister
put hair remover
in my shampoo.
1333
01:15:07,170 --> 01:15:09,796
lf l hadn't smelled something,
l'd be completely bald by now!
1334
01:15:09,881 --> 01:15:11,548
Why would she do that?
1335
01:15:11,632 --> 01:15:13,675
Duh ! 'Cause
she's my sister.
1336
01:15:13,759 --> 01:15:17,429
it�s part of the deal.
You fight and then
you get over it.
1337
01:15:18,347 --> 01:15:20,473
Not my brother.
He hates me
1338
01:15:20,558 --> 01:15:22,184
and he'll never
get over it.
1339
01:15:22,268 --> 01:15:25,020
Of course he will.
He has to.
He's your brother.
1340
01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:30,192
l also have a little sister
who's spoiled rotten.
1341
01:15:30,276 --> 01:15:32,777
Tell me about it!
My little brother
ruins all my stuff,
1342
01:15:32,862 --> 01:15:35,322
and somehow l'm the one
who ends up getting
in trouble for it.
1343
01:15:35,406 --> 01:15:36,990
Doesn't that
drive you nuts?
1344
01:15:37,074 --> 01:15:38,158
{SCOFFS}
1345
01:15:38,242 --> 01:15:39,242
GRANDMA Hills:
Holly! Time for dinner!
1346
01:15:39,327 --> 01:15:41,995
l got to go.
it was cool
hanging out with you.
1347
01:15:42,079 --> 01:15:44,873
l'll look for you
tomorrow, Greg.
1348
01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:47,542
See you later,
Fregley.
1349
01:15:47,627 --> 01:15:50,170
GREG: I thought
being at Grandpa's
was a punishment
1350
01:15:50,254 --> 01:15:54,341
but, really, it was destiny
that Holly was here, too.
1351
01:15:54,425 --> 01:15:56,468
My luck had
finally changed.
1352
01:16:00,514 --> 01:16:02,599
{Snoring}
1353
01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:18,448
RODRlCK: {Reading}
"l've never believed
in fate, or destiny,
1354
01:16:18,532 --> 01:16:20,158
"or whatever, until now.
1355
01:16:20,243 --> 01:16:22,744
"Things are finally
starting to go my way!"
1356
01:16:22,828 --> 01:16:26,122
Rodrick, be quiet.
Talk on the phone
someplace else.
1357
01:16:26,207 --> 01:16:28,583
"l thought
being at Grandpa's
was a punishment
1358
01:16:28,668 --> 01:16:32,420
"but, really, it was destiny
that Holly was here, too.
1359
01:16:32,505 --> 01:16:35,215
"My luck had
finally changed."
1360
01:16:36,217 --> 01:16:37,842
Aww! {LAUGHS}
1361
01:16:39,762 --> 01:16:41,096
Give it back,
Rodrick!
1362
01:16:41,180 --> 01:16:43,807
This stuff is priceless!
No way.
1363
01:16:43,891 --> 01:16:45,350
Come on.
Give it back!
1364
01:16:45,434 --> 01:16:47,269
You know what?
l will give it back.
1365
01:16:47,353 --> 01:16:49,854
To Holly!
Wait till she reads
this garbage!
1366
01:16:50,523 --> 01:16:52,732
{THIS IS WAR Playing}
1367
01:16:52,817 --> 01:16:55,026
I don't even want to go
1368
01:16:55,111 --> 01:16:56,653
"l can't believe my luck!
1369
01:16:56,737 --> 01:16:59,030
"l finally got Holly
all to myself
1370
01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:01,324
"without Chirag,
or anyone else!"
1371
01:17:01,409 --> 01:17:03,201
{Laughing}
1372
01:17:03,286 --> 01:17:04,995
Give it back, Rodrick!
Give it back.
1373
01:17:05,079 --> 01:17:06,788
No way.
1374
01:17:11,544 --> 01:17:13,670
Always stuck
in a daydream
1375
01:17:13,754 --> 01:17:15,839
Can't focus
on the other team
1376
01:17:15,923 --> 01:17:18,174
Hunted you
all day and night
1377
01:17:18,259 --> 01:17:19,801
Now I'm ready
for a fight
1378
01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,553
This is war
1379
01:17:22,680 --> 01:17:24,222
Yeah, yeah, yeah
1380
01:17:24,307 --> 01:17:28,977
This is war
1381
01:17:29,562 --> 01:17:31,313
Yeah, yeah, yeah
1382
01:17:31,397 --> 01:17:32,897
This is war
1383
01:17:33,733 --> 01:17:34,733
{GASPS}
1384
01:17:36,235 --> 01:17:38,695
'Cause I got
to knock you out
1385
01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:42,198
Whoop!
1386
01:17:44,285 --> 01:17:45,577
{WOMAN Shrieks}
1387
01:17:46,996 --> 01:17:47,996
Oh !
1388
01:17:50,333 --> 01:17:52,000
{RODRlCK Laughing}
1389
01:17:55,212 --> 01:17:56,588
{GASPS}
1390
01:17:57,923 --> 01:17:59,758
They say that
you're the best
1391
01:17:59,842 --> 01:18:01,426
You got to follow
all the rest
1392
01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:03,219
This is war
1393
01:18:03,971 --> 01:18:06,056
Yeah, yeah, yeah
1394
01:18:06,432 --> 01:18:08,183
Record, record, record.
1395
01:18:08,517 --> 01:18:10,435
This is war
1396
01:18:11,187 --> 01:18:12,854
Yeah, yeah, yeah
1397
01:18:12,938 --> 01:18:14,856
This is war
1398
01:18:14,940 --> 01:18:17,400
I can't be your friend
1399
01:18:17,485 --> 01:18:19,903
'Cause I got to
knock you out
1400
01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:23,448
{Panting}
1401
01:18:24,116 --> 01:18:25,825
{WOMAN Coughing}
1402
01:18:36,003 --> 01:18:37,670
l'm in the ladies'?
1403
01:18:55,356 --> 01:18:56,731
{SCREAMS}
1404
01:18:56,816 --> 01:19:00,402
WOMAN: Peeping Tom !
There's a Peeping Tom
in there!
1405
01:19:00,486 --> 01:19:04,280
Peeping Tom !
There's a Peeping Tom
in there!
1406
01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:06,282
Let's get him !
1407
01:19:06,367 --> 01:19:11,746
What do you think
you are doing in there?
We'll come in and get you !
1408
01:19:11,831 --> 01:19:13,373
Take that,
you Peeping Tom !
1409
01:19:13,457 --> 01:19:14,958
WOMAN 1 : Let's get him !
1410
01:19:15,042 --> 01:19:17,168
WOMAN 2: Get out of here!
1411
01:19:17,294 --> 01:19:19,379
WOMAN 3:
Stop that pervert!
1412
01:19:19,463 --> 01:19:22,090
WOMAN 4:
The little whippersnapper!
1413
01:19:22,174 --> 01:19:24,968
l've got him !
l've got him !
1414
01:19:25,052 --> 01:19:26,553
WOMAN 5: Shame on you !
1415
01:19:26,637 --> 01:19:28,680
WOMAN 6: l've got him
in a headlock!
1416
01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:32,892
l'm not the Peeping Tom !
1417
01:19:32,977 --> 01:19:33,977
WOMAN 1 : Where'd he go?
1418
01:19:35,146 --> 01:19:36,438
{Panting}
1419
01:19:36,522 --> 01:19:37,939
{Exclaims in Disgust}
1420
01:19:38,774 --> 01:19:40,650
Did he just come out
of the ladies' room?
1421
01:19:45,072 --> 01:19:46,531
{Sighs in Relief}
1422
01:19:48,159 --> 01:19:49,617
RODRlCK: Hey, Greg !
1423
01:19:50,661 --> 01:19:52,495
What's new? Huh?
1424
01:19:55,374 --> 01:19:57,667
GREG: Well, my life
is officially over.
1425
01:19:57,751 --> 01:19:59,502
Now that Rodrick
has that tape of me
1426
01:19:59,587 --> 01:20:01,463
running around
in my underwear,
1427
01:20:01,547 --> 01:20:03,465
he basically owns me.
1428
01:20:03,841 --> 01:20:04,883
{GREG Groaning}
1429
01:20:05,509 --> 01:20:07,385
The day of
the talent show
came around
1430
01:20:07,470 --> 01:20:09,929
and Mom and Dad
made us both go.
1431
01:20:10,014 --> 01:20:13,391
Something about supporting
the community, or whatever.
1432
01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:15,101
ROWLEY: Scotty!
1433
01:20:16,228 --> 01:20:17,645
Come on !
1434
01:20:18,606 --> 01:20:20,148
Scotty! Come on !
1435
01:20:20,232 --> 01:20:22,442
You don't want to let
the magic fans down,
do you?
1436
01:20:22,526 --> 01:20:23,651
SCOTTY: Go away!
1437
01:20:23,736 --> 01:20:25,445
Rowley, what's wrong?
1438
01:20:25,529 --> 01:20:27,989
My assistant, Scotty,
got stage fright
1439
01:20:28,073 --> 01:20:29,657
and now he doesn't
want to do the show.
1440
01:20:29,742 --> 01:20:33,161
Maybe Greg would help out.
He can be your assistant.
1441
01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:35,872
What? No way!
1442
01:20:35,956 --> 01:20:38,249
What? Rowley is
your best friend.
1443
01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:39,918
This is important to him.
You need to do this.
1444
01:20:40,002 --> 01:20:42,086
it�s okay,
Mrs. Hefley.
1445
01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:44,881
Greg is just afraid
that Holly Hills
will think less of him.
1446
01:20:44,965 --> 01:20:46,341
GREG: Rowley.
1447
01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:49,844
Mom, can we
talk in private?
Sure.
1448
01:20:49,929 --> 01:20:51,596
Scotty, please.
1449
01:20:53,724 --> 01:20:55,975
Look. . .
Who's this Holly Hills?
1450
01:20:56,101 --> 01:20:57,185
ls she your girlfriend?
No!
1451
01:20:57,269 --> 01:20:59,812
She's just some girl
who happens to be a friend
1452
01:20:59,897 --> 01:21:01,856
who l don't want
to be humiliated
in front of.
1453
01:21:01,941 --> 01:21:04,067
l see your point.
1454
01:21:04,151 --> 01:21:05,360
So is this Holly
in your class?
1455
01:21:05,444 --> 01:21:06,528
Mom !
1456
01:21:06,612 --> 01:21:07,904
Okay.
1457
01:21:08,697 --> 01:21:09,864
Here we go.
1458
01:21:09,949 --> 01:21:12,116
So, are you going
to make me do it?
1459
01:21:12,201 --> 01:21:14,744
ROWLEY:
Please, Scotty.
1460
01:21:14,828 --> 01:21:17,664
No. No, l get it.
l get it.
1461
01:21:19,124 --> 01:21:20,250
Can you at least
point her out to me?
1462
01:21:21,335 --> 01:21:23,378
Okay, okay, l'll stop.
1463
01:21:30,511 --> 01:21:33,638
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
1464
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:37,642
welcome to Plainview's
Most Talented!
1465
01:21:39,770 --> 01:21:44,399
And without further ado,
Ms. Patty Farrell!
1466
01:21:50,656 --> 01:21:52,532
{MEMORY Playing}
1467
01:21:55,828 --> 01:22:02,417
{Slinging} Memory
All alone in the moonlight
1468
01:22:02,501 --> 01:22:06,546
I can smile
at the old days
1469
01:22:06,672 --> 01:22:10,550
I was beautiful then
1470
01:22:10,634 --> 01:22:12,093
Wow, she's really good.
1471
01:22:12,177 --> 01:22:15,013
I remember the time
1472
01:22:15,097 --> 01:22:19,767
I knew
what happiness was
1473
01:22:19,852 --> 01:22:26,774
Let the memory live again
1474
01:22:27,526 --> 01:22:30,153
Touch me
1475
01:22:30,237 --> 01:22:34,115
It's so easy to leave me
1476
01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:38,077
All alone with the memory
1477
01:22:38,162 --> 01:22:41,873
Of my days in the sun
1478
01:22:42,541 --> 01:22:45,877
If you touch me...
1479
01:22:45,961 --> 01:22:48,421
{Whispers}
Greg, she's cute.
1480
01:22:48,505 --> 01:22:49,797
She's super cute.
1481
01:22:49,882 --> 01:22:51,174
Mom !
1482
01:22:51,717 --> 01:22:56,471
Look, a new day
1483
01:22:56,555 --> 01:23:02,268
Has begun
1484
01:23:03,896 --> 01:23:05,396
{Audience Applauding}
1485
01:23:07,316 --> 01:23:08,733
Oh, thank you !
1486
01:23:15,949 --> 01:23:18,368
Say hello to
the boys and girls,
Freggers.
1487
01:23:18,452 --> 01:23:21,663
Hello, boys and girls!
l love you.
1488
01:23:21,747 --> 01:23:25,541
And tonight,
when you are
all fast asleep
1489
01:23:25,626 --> 01:23:31,339
l'm going to crawl
through your window
and give you all a big hug !
1490
01:23:33,550 --> 01:23:34,842
{Crying}
1491
01:23:44,770 --> 01:23:48,523
Hey, you could
do that. Right?
1492
01:23:48,607 --> 01:23:49,774
Yeah.
1493
01:23:50,567 --> 01:23:51,567
{Sighs}
1494
01:23:52,027 --> 01:23:53,319
{YANKEE DOODLE DANDY PLAYING}
1495
01:23:53,404 --> 01:23:57,615
A real live nephew
of my Uncle Sam
1496
01:23:57,700 --> 01:24:01,285
I was born on
the 4th of July
1497
01:24:01,370 --> 01:24:05,456
I've got a
Yankee Doodle sweetheart
1498
01:24:05,541 --> 01:24:09,335
She's my
Yankee Doodle joy
1499
01:24:09,670 --> 01:24:11,504
Yankee doodle came to...
1500
01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:16,718
You can't go on without me.
l started Löded Dipper.
l'm the backbone!
1501
01:24:16,802 --> 01:24:20,430
Well, we got a new
backbone now, dude.
{LAUGHS}
1502
01:24:20,514 --> 01:24:22,515
This guy.
1503
01:24:22,599 --> 01:24:25,059
That's rock
and roll, bro.
1504
01:24:27,354 --> 01:24:31,482
Did you guys
see the audience?
Oh, man ! it�s huge.
1505
01:24:36,238 --> 01:24:39,157
This roller-skating
kid is really good !
1506
01:24:39,241 --> 01:24:41,743
Don't you think. . .
{Blathering}
1507
01:24:46,165 --> 01:24:47,331
{SUSAN GASPS}
1508
01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:50,752
Greg ! Where have you been?
l've been looking
all over for you.
1509
01:24:50,836 --> 01:24:54,130
Mom, you need to
let Rodrick play in
the talent show tonight.
1510
01:24:54,214 --> 01:24:57,216
Greg, we've been over this.
He needs to learn a lesson.
1511
01:24:57,301 --> 01:24:59,927
His band is
playing without him,
and it's not fair.
1512
01:25:00,012 --> 01:25:01,596
And l'm sure that's
very hard on him,
1513
01:25:01,680 --> 01:25:03,681
but l can't go back
on the punishment.
1514
01:25:04,975 --> 01:25:06,559
Mom.
Yes?
1515
01:25:08,854 --> 01:25:12,106
You let Rodrick play
in the talent show,
1516
01:25:13,108 --> 01:25:14,400
l'll. . .
1517
01:25:16,278 --> 01:25:17,945
. . .do the magic thing
with Rowley.
1518
01:25:19,782 --> 01:25:23,201
Really?
You'd do that?
1519
01:25:25,704 --> 01:25:27,413
You'll be Rowley's partner,
even though you said
1520
01:25:27,498 --> 01:25:30,833
it's totally embarrassing
and humiliating?
1521
01:25:31,710 --> 01:25:34,545
You're willing to do that
just so your brother can play?
1522
01:25:37,925 --> 01:25:39,008
Yes.
1523
01:25:42,888 --> 01:25:44,263
Come here.
1524
01:25:50,062 --> 01:25:53,064
l mean,
how bad can it be?
1525
01:25:53,524 --> 01:25:54,732
{ALL Exclaiming}
1526
01:25:57,110 --> 01:25:58,945
{Audience Murmuring}
1527
01:26:03,826 --> 01:26:05,117
ROWLEY: {Whispers}
Scotty was right.
1528
01:26:05,202 --> 01:26:06,619
There's a lot of
people out there.
1529
01:26:06,703 --> 01:26:10,665
Just start with
your opening trick,
like you rehearsed at home.
1530
01:26:10,749 --> 01:26:13,918
Forget about
all the people. Go.
1531
01:26:16,922 --> 01:26:18,172
{EXHALES}
1532
01:26:19,800 --> 01:26:22,844
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
1533
01:26:22,928 --> 01:26:28,474
l am the Remarkable Rowley,
{Timidly} master of illusion.
1534
01:26:29,768 --> 01:26:35,439
And joining me onstage is
my faithful assistant, Scotty.
1535
01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:36,983
Greg !
{SCATTERED LAUGHTER}
1536
01:26:38,026 --> 01:26:39,318
Greg.
1537
01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:44,365
Who looks a little cold.
Maybe he needs a scarf.
1538
01:26:46,618 --> 01:26:47,743
{ALL Laughing}
1539
01:26:54,459 --> 01:26:56,836
Ew! Don't put them on me!
They're still wet!
1540
01:26:56,920 --> 01:26:58,462
{ALL Laughing}
1541
01:27:01,341 --> 01:27:04,135
Sorry, Greg.
Here's a peace offering.
1542
01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:10,558
{ALL Exclaiming}
1543
01:27:10,642 --> 01:27:14,437
Fly. Fly away.
Be free, little friend.
1544
01:27:14,521 --> 01:27:15,521
{Audience GASP}
1545
01:27:16,148 --> 01:27:17,148
Oh. Oh.
1546
01:27:19,651 --> 01:27:21,235
That thing's dead.
1547
01:27:21,320 --> 01:27:23,738
{Whimpers}
l think l had him
in my pocket too long.
1548
01:27:23,822 --> 01:27:24,822
{BOTH GASP}
1549
01:27:25,741 --> 01:27:27,742
No hard feelings?
1550
01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:31,037
{Audience Laughing}
1551
01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:48,512
Keep going.
We're a hit!
1552
01:27:48,639 --> 01:27:52,934
And now,
for my grand finale,
1553
01:27:53,018 --> 01:27:56,145
the saw-the-lady-in-half
trick!
1554
01:27:58,649 --> 01:28:00,024
lf you will.
1555
01:28:04,696 --> 01:28:06,530
{Whispers} Push out the feet.
{Whispers} Okay.
1556
01:28:08,283 --> 01:28:12,286
No trap doors.
No chance of escape.
1557
01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:17,333
l will now miraculously
saw Greg in half.
1558
01:28:18,335 --> 01:28:20,544
Wait. Forget it!
l want out!
1559
01:28:23,006 --> 01:28:24,131
What are you doing?
1560
01:28:24,216 --> 01:28:25,299
This is the showstopper!
1561
01:28:25,384 --> 01:28:27,218
Good, then stop!
1562
01:28:30,013 --> 01:28:31,681
Ow! Ow! Ow!
1563
01:28:32,891 --> 01:28:36,769
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Remarkable Rowley!
1564
01:28:38,355 --> 01:28:40,898
And Greg the Great!
1565
01:28:43,402 --> 01:28:45,528
That should
have been me!
1566
01:28:53,662 --> 01:28:55,830
We killed.
And l didn't
have to die!
1567
01:28:55,914 --> 01:28:58,416
it was even better
than it was
in the rehearsals.
1568
01:28:58,500 --> 01:28:59,583
Hi.
Can l have
your autograph?
1569
01:28:59,668 --> 01:29:00,710
Sure. Sure.
1570
01:29:00,794 --> 01:29:03,421
Your performance
was pathetic,
Greg Hefley!
1571
01:29:03,505 --> 01:29:06,382
Only a moron
would find humour
in bird poop!
1572
01:29:07,134 --> 01:29:08,551
{DOVE Cooing}
1573
01:29:09,803 --> 01:29:11,220
You stupid bird !
1574
01:29:11,388 --> 01:29:12,930
{GRUNTS Angrily}
1575
01:29:13,432 --> 01:29:17,226
Oh, my gosh.
You guys did great.
That was really funny.
1576
01:29:17,310 --> 01:29:19,186
The unitard or
the performance?
1577
01:29:19,271 --> 01:29:20,479
Both.
1578
01:29:20,564 --> 01:29:22,982
Thank you, thank you !
Thank you.
1579
01:29:23,066 --> 01:29:24,817
Just do your best,
honey.
1580
01:29:24,901 --> 01:29:25,985
Oh, um. . .
1581
01:29:26,570 --> 01:29:27,570
{Sighs}
1582
01:29:27,654 --> 01:29:29,196
Can l borrow
your eyeliner?
1583
01:29:30,157 --> 01:29:31,532
Yeah.
1584
01:29:36,455 --> 01:29:38,039
Looks like
you guys made up.
1585
01:29:40,167 --> 01:29:41,500
We're brothers.
1586
01:29:41,585 --> 01:29:43,294
Please welcome to the stage
1587
01:29:44,129 --> 01:29:47,923
Löded Dipper! Oh, yeah!
1588
01:29:48,008 --> 01:29:50,092
RODRlCK: Mom, go!
Get off the stage!
1589
01:29:51,303 --> 01:29:52,803
{ROCK BEAT Playing}
1590
01:29:52,888 --> 01:29:55,765
BAND MEMBERS:
We are Löded Dipper!
1591
01:30:00,687 --> 01:30:02,146
{Screaming}
1592
01:30:05,609 --> 01:30:07,568
{Slinging} You toId us
we were losers
1593
01:30:07,652 --> 01:30:10,404
And we can't do
nothing right
1594
01:30:10,489 --> 01:30:12,364
You said
we'd never make it
1595
01:30:12,449 --> 01:30:17,620
But just look
at us tonight
1596
01:30:17,704 --> 01:30:20,539
Exploded Dipper
1597
01:30:20,624 --> 01:30:22,416
All over the place!
1598
01:30:22,501 --> 01:30:25,419
Exploded Dipper
1599
01:30:25,504 --> 01:30:27,213
In your face
1600
01:30:27,297 --> 01:30:30,174
Exploded Dipper
1601
01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:32,176
We can't be stopped
1602
01:30:32,260 --> 01:30:34,512
Exploded Dipper
1603
01:30:34,596 --> 01:30:36,931
Your head is going to pop
1604
01:30:37,015 --> 01:30:39,600
Exploded Dipper
1605
01:30:39,684 --> 01:30:42,019
You can't keep us down
1606
01:30:42,104 --> 01:30:44,396
We're going to hit the fan
1607
01:30:44,481 --> 01:30:46,816
And rock this sleepy town
1608
01:30:46,900 --> 01:30:48,692
{Audience Cheering}
1609
01:30:52,114 --> 01:30:54,406
BEN: Get up,
all you haters!
1610
01:30:54,491 --> 01:30:57,576
Dude, they love us!
1611
01:30:57,661 --> 01:30:59,703
No hard feelings,
right, bro?
1612
01:30:59,788 --> 01:31:01,956
Hey, Bill,
you know what?
1613
01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:05,126
When we're done tonight,
you're out of the band.
1614
01:31:05,210 --> 01:31:06,293
What?
1615
01:31:06,378 --> 01:31:08,712
That's rock
and roll, bro.
1616
01:31:08,797 --> 01:31:09,880
BOY 1 : {Slinging} Löded
1617
01:31:09,965 --> 01:31:11,006
BOY 2: {Slinging} Dipper
1618
01:31:11,091 --> 01:31:12,258
Löded
1619
01:31:12,342 --> 01:31:13,425
Dipper
1620
01:31:13,510 --> 01:31:14,510
Löded
1621
01:31:14,594 --> 01:31:15,636
Dipper
1622
01:31:15,720 --> 01:31:17,346
Come here. Look.
1623
01:31:18,056 --> 01:31:19,431
Dad? Are we
going to tell them
1624
01:31:19,516 --> 01:31:23,269
that the audience
went crazy for
Mom's weird dancing?
1625
01:31:24,688 --> 01:31:27,356
He's happy.
She's happy.
1626
01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:30,484
l say we keep this one
between the two of us, okay?
1627
01:31:30,569 --> 01:31:32,736
Exploded Dipper
1628
01:31:32,821 --> 01:31:35,239
It's us, the Dipper
And yes, we rock
1629
01:31:35,323 --> 01:31:41,954
Exploded Dipper
1630
01:31:50,422 --> 01:31:53,257
So, l just
wanted to say that
1631
01:31:53,341 --> 01:31:57,094
you getting Mom to
let me play last night
was really cool.
1632
01:31:57,179 --> 01:31:59,221
Yeah, well,
l kind of owed you.
1633
01:32:01,016 --> 01:32:03,184
Oh, and here.
1634
01:32:07,606 --> 01:32:11,192
The tape?
You're giving it to me?
Hey!
1635
01:32:12,110 --> 01:32:16,322
Don't make a big deal
about it or l'll post it
on YouTube, okay?
1636
01:32:21,036 --> 01:32:22,244
{BRAKES SCREECH}
1637
01:32:27,167 --> 01:32:28,792
Now get out.
1638
01:32:30,003 --> 01:32:31,170
Doofus.
1639
01:32:32,672 --> 01:32:33,881
Okay.
1640
01:32:34,925 --> 01:32:36,217
Later.
1641
01:32:36,968 --> 01:32:38,469
Butt-brain !
1642
01:32:52,067 --> 01:32:55,236
You know,
l guess having a big brother
isn't all that bad.
1643
01:32:55,320 --> 01:32:57,196
Maybe we don't
always get along,
1644
01:32:57,280 --> 01:32:59,365
but l know he's going to
be there for me.
1645
01:32:59,449 --> 01:33:03,369
Hey, l just spilled
grape juice on the couch
and kind of blamed it on you.
1646
01:33:03,453 --> 01:33:04,662
Later.
1647
01:33:04,746 --> 01:33:06,163
{Sighs}
1648
01:33:09,793 --> 01:33:11,252
l'll get him back.
1649
01:33:12,170 --> 01:33:13,444
Action !
1650
01:33:13,933 --> 01:33:20,945
Thank you for using the subs
regards, shock
1651
01:33:28,561 --> 01:33:29,561
{GASPS}
1652
01:33:32,065 --> 01:33:33,524
{Grunting}
1653
01:33:42,659 --> 01:33:43,659
{GRUNTS}
1654
01:34:09,019 --> 01:34:10,436
{BOTH Yelling}
1655
01:34:17,068 --> 01:34:18,360
{Whooping}
1656
01:34:18,445 --> 01:34:20,154
{Audience Applauding}
1657
01:34:52,354 --> 01:34:55,356
Exploded Dipper
1658
01:34:55,440 --> 01:34:57,316
All over the place!
1659
01:34:57,400 --> 01:34:58,692
Exploded Dipper
1660
01:34:58,777 --> 01:35:00,778
GREG: Okay,
it's uploaded.
1661
01:35:00,862 --> 01:35:01,987
In your face
1662
01:35:02,072 --> 01:35:04,615
Exploded Dipper
1663
01:35:04,699 --> 01:35:05,949
ROWLEY: Holy cow.
1664
01:35:07,494 --> 01:35:09,870
This is huge!
We're an internet
sensation !
1665
01:35:09,954 --> 01:35:12,998
RODRlCK: Greg !
You are so dead !
1666
01:35:13,333 --> 01:35:16,210
Exploded Dipper
119807
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