All language subtitles for Big.Lake.S01E06.HDTV.FEVER.en

- [Laughs]
- Oh, damn!

Wolverine is a badass.

He's like lebron James
with an adamantium skeleton.

Hey, if you guys could have
your own superpower,

what would it be?

Ah, that's easy.

I'd want the superpower
to fly like "Supermen."

Do you mean superman?

Yeah. "Supermen."

When they created the comic,

they didn't tell you
how to pronounce it.

You know, I'm not saying
he's not a super man,

but I mean, when you read it,
it's "Supermen."

You're making him sound
Jewish.

Well, I'm not saying
he's Jewish, but he could be.

He was created by
a couple Jewish guys.

Yeah, I mean he became a man
at 13,

got into journalism,
changed his name from Kal-El,

which I'm pretty sure
is a variation of Cohen.

I mean, there are layers here.

Wow.
Superman is Jewish.

Hey.

Don't mean to interrupt
girls' night here.

You guys giving each other
makeovers

and talking about
your periods again?

[Laughs] He burned you guys.

You wanna hang out
wi us tonight?

We're fantasizing about
what our superpowers would be.

Nah, my vagina's in the shop.

Sorry fellas.

You guys got toasted again.

He's including you
in that too.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Damn.
- Hey, what do you have there?

It's a box of
go [Bleep] Yourself.

Those look like completed
s.A.T.S.

It's because they are
completed s.A.T.S, Josh,

for a price.

I could get you into Harvard.

If you're on a budget,
party school in Tampa.

I got some Indian spelling bee
champ churning these out.

Oh, baghwan meshtiti.

This is ridiculous.

How can mom and dad
let you live like this?

Why can't you be a normal kid?

Yeah, like bandu meshtiti.
Baghwan's brother.

Chris, you're not helping.

Jeremy, you're missing out

on the best part of
your childhood.

I went to Aruba last year.
I think I'm doing okay.

Hey, listen, I'll be late.

Don't wait up.
And don't lock the door.

And after you boys are done
having sex with each other,

don't forget to febreze
the couch.

I love you guys, I really do.

I can't believe my parents
think that I'm the bad kid.

You're not bad.
You're more of a loser.

Like rahul meshtiti,
the shame of the family.

I know that.

But try telling that to my dad.

Josh.

Shut up so my good son
can get some sleep.

Okay, you guys gotta go.

Yeah, I'd better get home.

I stole a bunch of sandwiches
from the cafeteria last week.

I goa eat that tuna tonight.
Are you in, Glenn?

- Oh, hell yeah.
- Good night.

- Take it easy, man.
- Good night, guys.

[Scoffs]
And good night, Jeremy.

Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com

- Good morning every...

Uh-oh.

Yeah, for once,
you're not the screwup.

Your mother caught Jeremy

sneaking into the house
at 5:00 A.M.

Really? Is that so?

The diet pills are giving me
night terrors.

So I'm up avoiding
the hooded beast

and I come downstairs
and I catch Jeremy

climng in through the window.

Linda, you're taking
too many pills.

But they help me relax!

What the hell is
an eighth grader doing out

at 5:00 in the morning?

Great question, dad.

What the goddamn [Bleep]
Were you doing?

- Linda, lin...
Linda.

Dad. I told you.

I was doing algebra homework
with Brady

and I lost track of time.

Then when I got home,

the door was mysteriously
locked.

How weird. That's funny
how that happens sometimes.

Really?
Doing algebra homework.

Then why do you reek of beer?

Brady's dad is an alcoholic
and he's a hugger!

That's a weak excuse.
Weak.

I feel like I don't know you
anymore, Jeremy.

Look how you're dressed.

You look like a homosexual
from the future.

- Yeah, or like...
Like a troubled kid

from the present
who needs to be set straight.

Let's do this.

I am so goddamn mad!

Dad. I screwed up.
But it was only this one time.

Oh, really?

Or this just the one time
you got caught?

Oh, my God, this is so good.

Oh, this is our fault.

You know, we just haven't been
focusing enough on him.

Since your brother's been home,

it's probably taken even more
attention away from you,

attention you deserve.

Stay strong, dad.
You're doing a great job.

Shut it!

Jeremy, this is you
screaming out for supervision.

Well, a message received
loud and clear, little man.

We are not going to let you
become a statistic.

Your mom and I are going to
be more attentive parents.

Finally.

Because I cannot risk
another son

turning out like Josh.
Is that necessary?

I cannot feel like
I have brought two joshes

into this world.

I didn't do any of this.

I mean, one Josh,
shame on you.

Two joshes, shame on me.

[Rock music]

Jeremy?
Are you okay?

Mom and dad
were so mad at me.

Are they still here?

No.

You're a dead man.

I'm gonna stab you in the liver
and watch you bleed out.

- What?
- You heard me.

Get your hairless balls
over here and take your beating.

Okay, "a," they're not
that hairless.

And "b," you deserve this.

How could you do this to me?

You need to be stopped.
You're growing up too fast.

Carl grounding me
is your fault.

And it's costing me a fortune.

In my line of work,

every week I'm off the streets
is a lifetime.

- 13-year-olds should not have
a line of work.

You needed this.

Being a kid is a magical time.

You have no responsibilities.

But it doesn't last forever.

Take advantage of it.

I am.

Every felony I commit
is cleared off my record

when I turn 18.

I only have
five productive years left.

Then I'm going to film school.

Look, Jeremy, I, I feel like

if you actually tried
being a normal kid,

you might actually like it.

I don't know how.
They figured out my game.

I only have three moves.

Rugby shirt, backpack with
a brick in it,

and this lisp,
which cost me $3,000 to learn.

No, see, that's acting like
a kid.

You need to be a kid.

Then you need to help me.

I'd love to.

'Cause I know that
somewhere in there deep down

is my innocent little brother

just waiting to be let out.

And who knows?

Maybe you'll wanna stay a kid
forever.

That's a bulletproof vest.
Yeah.

Jeremy.

You have to understand,
the whole fun of bumper cars

is to bump cars.

You can't get out of your car

and stab the other guy
with a house key.

Yeah, but he disrespected me.

He bumped me from behind.

I didn't mean
to disrespect you, Jeremy.

What can I get you guys?

Uh, I would like
one coffee, black.

No.
No, no, no, no, no.

Kids don't drink black coffee.

We'll have three suicides,
please.

Ooh, big boy drinks.

So, uh, who's tappin' that?

Tappin'?
What's that mean?

Hey, Jeremy,

I don't know if dad's had
the talk with you yet.

I'd be willing to have the talk
anytime...

No? Great.

- Do you... do you want me
to give you the talk?

- No.
- I'll have the talk.

Three suicides.

Wow, you guys
are real grown-ups.

- What are these?
- You kidding?

They're suicides.

Every soda in the house
in one cup.

It's... it's delicious
and disgusting at the same time.

Mm, kind of like [Bleep].

Is there anything else
I can get you guys?

Actually, Meg, uh,

there's seven things that
I would love.

They're all numbers and
they have to do with your phone.

- Oh...
Are you hitting on me?

No way. No way.

I'm just a kid being a kid,
right, Josh?

But on my 18th birthday,

I would love to see
your expression

when you wake up to the feel
of thousand-thread count

cotton sheets
in a beachside suite in Fiji.

It would be a birthday gift
we would share.

Aw, poor little guy.

Here comes his first rejection.

Ooh, and it's written.

Cold.

Talk to you in five years.

Oh, and, uh, Meg.
I'll pay for these.

This isn't the number
she gave me.

When I dial,
it's dogs barking jingle bells.

It's $3 a call.

It's getting expensive.

You know what you need?

Friends your own age
to hang out with.

Let me borrow your keys.

With a van like Glenn's,

I can round up
four or five kids in no time.

Glenn.
I need a favor.

Uh...What type of favor?

Relax.

Since Carl's got me
on lockdown,

I need somebody to sort of
step in

and help with
the day-to-day operations.

I don't know, Jeremy.

Josh wants you
living like a kid.

Glenn, Glenn.

It be a real shame
if your mom found out

what happened in ocean city
last summer.

Okay, I'll do it.

All right,
this guy's a little bitch.

He's gonna cry, give excuses,

tell you a sob story
about how he's broke.

But I need you to be hard.

You need to be hard-boiled.

- I can be hard-boiled?
[clears throat]

- That doesn't sound
hard-boiled.

- I can be hard-boiled.

All right, Glenn.

All right.

How can I put this
in the simplest of terms?

You owe money.

I'm here to collect.

I've got the money.

I just don't have it per se.

Listen, I've heard it all
before.

I'm not your therapist,
I'm not your friend.

- You are my friend.
- Let me finish.

I'm not your wife,
I'm not your dog,

I'm not a friendly
wood cutout of a chef

in front of a cafe.

I'm a bag man.
A messenger.

And my one-word message
is this.

Pain.

Damn.
You're scary, Glenn.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Especially when
you were standing over there

on the corner with the shadows
across your face.

It was terrifying.

Yeah. The voice
is based on cookie monster.

Ah...

I'm trying to find
a nice balance

between, like, fear,
but also keep it entertaining.

- I think it was both.
- Should I run it again?

No, no, I get the picture.

Listen, how much did you
borrow from Jeremy, anyway?

$500 in singles.

One positive note?

Making it rain
at a strip club...

Off my bucket list.

Was it fun?

Well, I got trampled
by five women in stripper shoes.

I got a staph infection
in my back

from a high heel puncture,
but overall, yeah,

it was pretty fun.

Listen, Chris,
I don't wanna do this.

Hey, I'm not really
into it, either.

Huh, what are we gonna do?

Well, you gotta buy me
a couple days.

Uh, say you found me,
worked me over real good.

Maybe, uh, smacked me around

with a pillowcase of oranges.

You know, no bruises.

- He'll love that.
- I know, I know.

Uh, I begged for my life,
but you wouldn't listen.

Then what happened?

Uh, and then I promised
to get the money,

but I skipped town.
Went to Jamaica.

Oh, great. Jamaica.
Uh, where are you staying?

Uh, sandals.
It's all inclusive.

Whenever I lie about
going to Jamaica,

that's where I stay.

- Sounds nice.
- It is.

Based on the website, it is.

[Rock music]

Seriously, guys,
you never get in a van

with a stranger.

What were you thinking?

Especially you, man.

You yelled "shotgun"

as soon as I showed you
chocolate.

Who are they?

These are your new
best friends.

These kids all go to school.

I picked them out

because I thought that
you guys might share

some similar hobbies
and concerns.

I mean, really, Josh?
Look at these kids.

They're barely off the teat.

I feel like a pedophile
hanging out with them.

Just give them a chance.

Come on, guys.
Get in there.

- Hi, I'm Jaden.
- I don't like to be touched.

All right, uh,
make yourselves comfortable.

Sit down.

So, um, what do you guys
like to talk about?

That whole bank reform thing
is a load of crap, huh?

What?

Wait, are you liberals?

So...
You're Jeremy's friends.

Yeah, dad, I'd like you
to meet Jaden and, uh,

big guy
and friend number three.

Wow, colorful nicknames.

They used to call me
green beans.

Yeah, these guys, they're just
here to hang out, you know, dad?

We have a lot of homework
to do.

Oral reports are due tomorrow.

Hey, you wanna go back
in the van?

Have fun, fellas.

But, uh, stay out of trouble.

Look at our boys.

And you, proud lion.

Staring out over your cubs
protective and majestic.

[Laughs]
Yeah, it feels pretty good.

They grow older
and they play and they spar.

They're jockeying for
the attentions

of the Alpha male.

Yeah, I think Jeremy's
got the edge.

Yeah, then one day,
as you age and weaken

and they get stronger,
one of them's going to attack.

It's gonna bite you
at the base of your neck

and separate your spine
from your head.

And bring you the sweet relief
of death.

Good lord, Linda.

That is dark.

Oh, relax.

It's probably not gonna happen.

[Roars softly]

- Okay, guys, I've prepared
an age-appropriate activity.

I'm not going to be
playing doctor with you guys.

No.

It's called settlers of catan,

and it's amazing.

You build roads,
and if you have extra bricks

you get to trade them
for wheat.

That sounds so cool.

Hey, uh, big guy.

What's happened to
our generation, man?

I mean,
when we have to go to war...

And we will...
We're screwed.

Let's make a pact
to share wool.

I'm gonna be a wheat farmer.

Get your own thing.
I call wheat farmer.

- But I called wheat farmer.
- I'm older. I'm older. Shut up.

How's your dinner?

Linda.
This is breakfast.

You think it's yesterday.

Seems like one long day
to me.

- It's a 96-hour day,
Linda.

Long.

You know,
I think Jeremy's lockdown

is going pretty well.

I love his group of friends.

That's just the core group,
though.

We're gonna build it out,
get a Hispanic guy,

maybe a Chinese.

Oh, probably, like,
an enormous black kid

who's really good at football.

Just check off every box.

You know,
really round out that crew.

Maybe I've been too hard
on Jeremy.

He's a good kid.
You're welcome.

I blame you for
this whole thing.

You egged me on,
you got me all worked up.

We never had any problem
with Jeremy until you showed up.

Oh, I feel horrible.

Damn it, he is down
at that school right now

about to give an oral report
with his speech impediment.

Kids can be so cruel.

- Yeah,
but I bet his friends...

- Oh, shut your piehole,
four eyes.

I'm going down to that school.

Yeah, to apologize
and to show some support.

I don't think
that's necessary.

It is necessary.

Oh...

Thank God your mom
is finally taking

the proper dosage of medication

to rest in her secret garden

and not be a witness
to any of this.

Stay away from
the hooded beast.

Bye, sweet angel.

Jeremy, it's me.

How many of these stupid
things do I have to build?

Never mind all that.

Dad's on his way
to your school right now.

Why?

He thinks you're giving
an oral report.

Who gave him that idea?

I might have.
Jaden might have.

Probably that kid Jaden, right?

It doesn't matter.

All that's important
is that we get to your school

before dad gets there.

So, um, what do I do
with this thing?

- Can I have it?
- Yeah.

Thank you.
Let's go.

[Rock music]

Well, frankly, I didn't think

you looked anything
like your photo.

I told you,
I used to be more blonde.

Technically, not a lie.

I'm just saying a hundred pounds
is, you know...

I'm giving you a lot of leeway.

Sure. I'll meet again.

Uh, I gotta go.

Olive garden at 6:00.
See you there.

I've got something for you.

Oh, God.

Found it sticking out of
your windshield.

[Sighs]

Goddamn girls' softball team.
I failed their best hitter.

By the look of
your quarter panels,

she's got
a pretty sweet swing too.

Yeah.

Hey, Jeremy knows
you're in town.

He called sandals.
Oh, wow, he's good.

Yeah.

What are we gonna do?

Plan "b."
I really go to Jamaica.

How about me?

You can come with me.

I know the night manager
at sandals.

He'll get us jobs as masseuses.

We'll only work on women,
no dudes.

Ah.

I don't know why I hadn't
thought of this plan before.

Hey, I know deep tissue
and shiatsu.

I learned it in prison.

I'm actually preferring this
to our lives right now.

Yeah. It sounds great.

Ah, well,
there goes that dream.

I need your help.

My dad's on his way here
right now.

Can you pretend Jeremy's
in your class?

Why not?

He'll just be another face
in a sea of blank stares.

You're doing me a solid.
I'm calling Glenn off.

- Really?
- Yeah. We're square.

Oh, God.

- Don't start crying.
- But I do wanna cry.

How was Jamaica?

No, no, we're good.

Oh, thank God.

Okay, uh, everyone,
listen up.

Um...
[clears throat]

This is Jeremy.

He has been attending
this school his whole life.

Uh, also, he has a lisp.

So the speech he's about to give
is a miracle.

Act like it.

Here, you can read
this kid's report.

He's a nerd.
Hey, that's mine.

Okay, I'm telling
the principal

I caught you with weed.

It is up to you how much.

A loose joint, dime bag.
Your call, hotshot.

That's what I thought.

Here comes dad.

This sucks.
Who taught him this crap?

I did.

I'll wing it.

Alphonse Capone broke out of
the immigrant slums

of Brooklyn, new York,
and traveled to Chicago.

Even at a young age,
he looked for opportunity

where others saw none.

While others were weak,
he was strong.

While others slept
in their beds and couches

Capone worked the streets
to, in his words,

"satisfy a public demand."

Al Capone lived
the American dream.

But I wonder,
did he ever wish he could

trade it all in
for a normal life?

A life of riding bikes,
going to school,

playing board games
about wheat and bricks...

You know what?

I bet he did.
I bet he did.

[Applause]

That was great, son.

You know, once you got going,
your lisp went away.

Why, thanks, dad.

Oh, it's good
to be disappointed

in only one of my sons again.

And why is that
the happy ending here?

Hey, Glenn, I called sandals

and proposed our masseuse idea.

I told him how you learned
in jail

and that I had a slow hand
and an easy touch.

Oh, yeah, what did they say?

Well, he asked me
to explain it again.

And then he asked me
to explain it a third time.

Long story short,
I think I had phone sex

with a guy in Jamaica.

Hey, where are you going?

As far as you're concerned,
to get a glass of milk.

What about al Capone,

how he wanted to trade it all in
for a normal life?

He also died of syphilis.
Not exactly a great role model.

Well, hey.

If you ever wanna do
some more normal kid stuff,

it was kind of fun
after all, wasn't it?

Actually,
I'm going over to Jaden's

to play some settlers of catan.

- Really?
- Yeah.

$50 a settlement,
$200 buy-in.

Hey, if you wanna roll with,
you can.

No, thanks,
that's too rich for my blood.

I'd better stay here.

That was your one invitation
to hang with me.

You won't get another one.

But, hey, thanks, guys.

All right, come on, you bums,

get the hell out of here.
Linda's asleep.

Come on, come on,
one foot in front of the other.

Good night.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Bye, Mr. f.

Don't let the door
hit you on the way out.

Good night, Josh.

Good night, dad.

And good night, Jeremy.

Lots of people think
you don't really exist.

I don't really think
you exist either.

But you're here,
and you're a good listener.

I have had some hallucinations
who are real pricks.

So Valerie had French fries

and she said they were only
three points in her diet.

She knows darn well that
French fries are eight points.

See, even you know,
and you're a hooded beast.

You should have some of
my diet pills.

Don't take too many,

or else you'll see
a hooded beast.

Say ah.

Oh.
[laughs]

How do you stay so thin,
anyway?

I mean, granted,
the cloak is very slimming,

but you're thin.

I think you look fabulous.

I hope I look as good as you do

when I'm 3,000 years old.

- Hmm.
- [chuckles]

I can't believe
I was ever afraid of you.

[Romantic music]

♪ ♪

♪ Dee Dee, Dee Dee Dee Dee ♪

♪ duh, duh duh duh duh ♪ good!

Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com