Original subtitles

The trouble with these political comics is that very few people read them,

and they already know and agree with everything, or at least they say they do.

In any case, your strip has proven

that even comics can further a revolutionary cause.

True. Even Snoopy protests against the system.

Where did you all run off to?

Wow! What a ride!

Sandro let me ride his Suzuki.

- I was forced to surrender. - You're a darling.

I want to photograph you naked in a wheat field.

Okay.

In that case, we'll discuss it again in the summer.

You struck out.

Valentina Rosselli takes her own pictures.

- Hi, Arno. - Hi.

- She's a photographer? - Just ads, fashion, art, politics, news.

Haven't you ever heard of Cartier-Bresson?

- What does he have to do with her? - It's one of Valentina's pseudonyms.

Sure, because ink and paper cost you practically nothing.

But if you're a filmmaker like me, it'll cost you millions.

Not necessarily. Your friend Godard has proven that's not necessary.

Godard is Godard.

- Don't you agree, Valentina? - I still prefer Laurel and Hardy.

As for your guru, I think Pierrot le fou was his last good film.

You don't know anything.

- Are you going back to Milan tonight? - Yes, with Giorgio.

If I can pull him away from all those comics.

- You can give me a lift, then. - Sure, but I brought the Spider.

You'll have to sit on Arno's lap.

No.

- But why? - Because I feel like walking.

Thanks for the ride, Giorgio. 'Night.

- Bye, Valentina. - Bye, Arno.

Wait here a second.

Come on.

It'll take you at least half an hour to get home on foot.

It's already 3:00 in the morning.

I love the nighttime.

But it's freezing cold.

The cold is my drug of choice. Now you know.

What if you run into someone?

At least let me walk with you for a while.

Listen, Arno.

I don't feel like sleeping with you. Not tonight.

Bye.

And go straight home!

At this hour, all the boy scouts are already asleep.

Bye!

Taxi!

Well?

She's crazy as a loon.

Who are you? Red Riding Hood's wolf?

What are you doing out here at this hour?

You should go home, you know.

What a strange mark.

You're so funny. You look like a stuffed animal.

Good night, doggie.

Watch out!

I'm speechless, Miss.

- I don't know how this could have happened. - It's nothing.

It was my fault. There was a dog in the road...

Please, get in the car.

I'll drive you home.

Thank you, but I live nearby. It's not necessary.

Please.

After such a fright, it's the least I can do.

I won't take no for an answer.

All right.

It wasn't a dog.

What did you say?

I was driving very fast earlier.

I knew something was going to happen.

Our meeting was preordained.

How do you know where I live?

There are many things you cannot understand.

At least for the time being.

I may be able to explain them to you,

and I will be happy to oblige.

But first, I have to be certain.

- Allow me. - What are you doing?

There.

Forgive me,

but I needed a personal item of yours.

Don't worry.

I'll return it to you tomorrow.

Good night, my dear.

Don't forget my name.

My name is Baba Yaga.

Yes, I'm coming!

I'm coming. Hang on.

Good morning. The doctor's here!

Damn you. What time is it?

Believe it or not, it's almost noon.

I'll make you some coffee, okay?

Thanks.

- Were you out late last night? - Yes, but that's not it.

- So what's up? - I've been having these dreams.

Then last night...

Last night what?

Nothing.

- Did you bring the paper? - Yeah.

- What's new? - Not much.

Your leftist friends are still barricading the schools in Milan.

- You're a fascist. - And you're deluding yourself.

Come on.

THE PANTHERS OF ALGIERS

Come on, Valentina. I can't hold this pose much longer.

What? Oh, of course. I'm sorry.

What are you still doing there? We're done for the day.

We'll pick up again tomorrow.

Good afternoon, my dear.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.

No, we just finished. Please, come in.

Bye, Valentina. Good-bye.

Bye, Toni. See you tomorrow.

Well, my dear...

I'm here to return the delightful trifle I took from you last night.

May I put it back on you myself?

Stop!

You can't. You see, I'm not wearing a garter belt.

Too bad.

Last night you said our meeting was preordained.

Preordained by whom?

It's too soon, Valentina.

Too soon.

Do you always work with this camera?

Yes.

That is, most of the time. lt depends.

There it is.

The eye that freezes reality.

Well, I have to go now.

Come and see me.

- Can I count on it? - I'm not sure.

- I'm very busy these days. - Listen to me.

Come see me, Valentina.

My house is very old.

I'm sure you'll find it interesting.

Here.

I'll leave you my address.

So, can I count on your visit?

I'll do my best to come.

Good girl.

MARQUIS DE SADE THE CRIMES OF LOVE

- Yes? - Valentina, it's Arno.

- So, how was the rest of your night? - It was great.

Great? What do you mean?

I made 100 bucks with some guy, but a pimp slapped it out of me.

Then I was arrested in a raid,

and while I was in jail, I was raped by a midget.

- Is that enough for you? - Absolutely!

I'm glad you had a good time.

I'm shooting a piece for TV on the outskirts of town.

I need some production photos.

Could you come over here with your camera?

- Where are you? - Hang on. I'll find out.

- Ma'am, where are we? - Where do you think? In Milan!

Old bat.

I know we're in Milan. What's the name of the street?

- Via Moncucco, number 22. - Everyone knows this place.

It's via Moncucco.

From Porta Ticinese, just follow the Naviglio.

Okay. I'll change and meet you there in half an hour.

What's he doing?

I caught it! I caught it!

Get a load of this!

- What are you going to do with that rat? - Just wait and see.

Come on, my friend.

Is this a good spot?

A little more to the right. Okay. Hold still.

- A close-up, and don't show my fingers. - Don't worry.

Action.

- What's going on? - The damn thing is jammed.

The damn thing is jammed. The damn thing is jammed.

- What a mess. - It looks okay, but it won't work.

Forget it. You'll have to come back tomorrow to shoot the rest.

Okay.

- I only took three or four pictures. - That's enough.

Hey, can you take me back to your place? My subway stop is near there.

Okay, but you're driving.

What are you going to do with the close-up of the rat?

I don't know. I may not even use it.

Or else I could put it alongside some bigwig from the Confederation of Industries.

- You think they'd show that on TV? - Of course not.

But at least I'll have an uncut version for the alternative crowd.

In other words, your point will no longer reach 10 million bourgeois,

but at most 10 thousand so-called intellectuals.

It won't benefit ecology, as you intended, but only your vanity.

But if you don't take advantage of the system, what else can you do?

- Start a revolution. - Who's going to do that? The unions?

Perhaps, or the intellectuals, the writers, the directors.

Don't make me laugh.

We're the worst of the lot. Take me, for instance.

Today, I shot a piece on ecology.

Tomorrow, I'm shooting an ad for a detergent manufacturer.

- You're just an old whore. - Of course I am! Who isn't?

The difference is that I admit I'm a whore.

Most other people are whores and pretend to be messiahs.

Believe me, Valentina, it's a mess.

It's all a game full of contradictions.

Sometimes contradictions are your only hope.

Of course, and you should know.

I think you're full of contradictions.

- Me? Why? - Why?

For instance, soon you're going to ditch me in front of your house.

If you were consistent, you would at least invite me in for a whiskey.

All right. Come on up.

What did you say?

I didn't mean to intrude.

Not at all.

Arno, Toni.

Who's that? Cowboy Kate?

"Just one shot of Spray, and your cellulite goes away!"

When I saw that woman come in yesterday, I thought you'd gone over to the other team.

- What do you mean? - Haven't you noticed?

- She's crazy about you. - Shut up, idiot.

- What's she talking about? - Nothing.

- Should I load the caps in the cylinder? - Yeah, so you get into the part.

Shoot.

Toni, what is it? Talk to me.

What's wrong with her?

Gently. Be careful.

What's wrong, dear?

Do you want to go home?

- But do you feel up to it by yourself? - I could go with her.

- I think that would be better. - I'll call a taxi.

Hello? I need a taxi in via Mascheroni, please.

- You lost a day's work because of me. - Don't even think about it.

I always have something to do. You concentrate on getting well.

- The taxi is on its way. - Thank goodness.

- Will you be home later? - I don't know.

- I'll call you. - All right.

- Bye. - Bye.

ONE WAY

I'm happy to see you, Valentina.

I was sure you'd come.

Well, I...

I need to photograph some jewels.

So I thought perhaps you'd let me photograph a few of them here.

Of course. My house is at your disposal.

I'm a bit lazy.

I won't accompany you. Feel free to do whatever you like.

You can enter into any room

and take all the photographs you want.

Thank you.

What lovely necklaces.

Please, let me see them.

They're delightful to the touch,

and their sound is even more lovely.

Don't worry about that hole, Valentina.

I have to have some repairs done in that corner.

Upstairs, however,

I might be able to find some other interesting objects

for your photographs.

Aren't you feeling well, dear?

Is there something I can do?

No, thank you. I was just dizzy for a moment.

- You're too kind. - Don't be silly, dear.

I'm always so lonely here.

Your visit has been a pleasure.

In fact, I have a gift for you.

Here.

This is Annette.

You must never let her out of your sight.

She'll protect you from any threat.

What does that mean? There's nothing threatening me.

You never know, my dear.

You never know.

Of course. You can't answer me.

You're nothing but a doll.

GOD IS DEAD. NOW YOU KNOW!

WHY DO YOU STILL GO TO CHURCH?

I DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!

GOD IS DEAD. NOW YOU KNOW!

WHY DO YOU STILL GO TO CHURCH?

I DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!

What happened? Carlo!

Carlo!

- What's wrong? Are you ill? - Help me get him up.

Come on! Hurry up!

Won't someone help us?

- He can't breathe! - A doctor!

Help!

A young man is dying.

Get him out of the road.

Oh, God! He's dead.

Hello?

- Bonjour, Valentina. - Awojubi!

- Am I early? - Damn! I'd completely forgotten.

Good thing Romina isn't here yet, that crazy girl.

I hope she comes soon.

There's a meeting at the university today on the problems of the Third World.

That doesn't seem wise.

A meeting of the students will only create more problems,

instead of resolving them.

Besides, why would you trust in Romina's punctuality?

- Hey, guys. - Hi, Romina!

What are we doing today, Valentina?

Sex and civil rights.

A serious and interesting curriculum. What does this have to do with it?

"With Look lingerie, no more modesty, no more hypocrisy, no more prejudice."

Wow. Now you're talking serious political commitment.

Take your shirt off, Awojubi. You can keep your pants on.

But try to forget that you're educated and live in a civilized society.

Perhaps you're overestimating the quality of your university?

Very funny.

In any case, try to be fierce like your ancestors.

You know, the ones who used to eat the poor missionaries.

What a nice doll.

Don't touch it!

What's wrong with you?

I don't know,

but there's something very strange about that doll.

Where does it come from, Valentina?

I don't know. It was a gift.

If you're ready, we should start, since Awojubi is in a hurry.

Hey, Awojubi. Next time let's make love for real.

- Otherwise she'll kill us. - I agree with Romina. Let's do it now.

No thanks, Awojubi. The future of the Third World is in your hands.

- Get going. - Okay.

Bye, Valentina.

- Bye. - Bye, Romina.

Remember, anytime.

What's going on?

It's back. I'll have to have the wiring looked at.

What is it, Romina? Do you feel ill?

No, it's nothing.

I must have had a dizzy spell. How strange.

I hurt myself somehow. Look.

It's not even bleeding.

I wonder how it happened.

- Does it hurt? - No, not really. it stings a little.

I'm going. I'm a little out of it.

Call me when you develop the shots. Bye.

All right. Tonight, or tomorrow at the latest.

Arno, I have to talk to you right away.

I'm expecting you, Valentina.

You're fantastic! How did you do it?

Zoom in.

It was easy, baby.

With the help of Neat,

the new instant detergent

that eliminates all traces of black in seconds.

Cut.

- What do you think, Ezio? - I'd like another take that's not so tight.

- Okay. One more take. - Arno, this was the third take.

- Should I mark the good ones? - You're the only good thing here.

- What number is this one? - The same, but add an "A."

Would you look at that?

Excuse me for a second.

- Valentina, what brings you here? - I have to talk to you.

- Is there something wrong? - Not just something, everything.

- Arno, we're ready. You coming? - You take care of it.

- It's the same setup as before. - All right.

Let's go.

Aside from your dreams and a couple of coincidences,

it seems to all come down to this woman

who wants to introduce you to the delights of Sapphic love.

You don't get it.

There's something about Baba Yaga...

There's something different,

as if she came from a world that's not our own,

a world that obeys different laws.

- Those eyes... - Valentina!

The world is full of people with strange eyes.

No.

Not like this.

There's something different.

I don't know what it is. I can't even imagine it.

That's what frightens me.

For instance, that doll she gave me seems almost alive,

and that hole in her floor...

it's bottomless. Do you understand? It doesn't end up anywhere.

Next you're going to tell me that it's the gate to hell

and that your Baba Yaga is its guardian witch.

Well, why not?

You're off your rocker!

This is the 20th century!

We transplant hearts, go to the moon.

Witches don't exist anymore.

Witches belong in the Middle Ages.

As for hell, I'm afraid it's the world we live in.

Believe me, Valentina. If hell ever existed...

I mean the classic one full of devils and the damned...

Well, if it ever existed, by now it's been turned into a supermarket.

If only I could...

When the power went out today, something happened.

I don't know what it was, but there's some detail...

There's some detail I'm missing that could help me understand.

Even if I'm afraid of understanding.

Afraid of what, damn it?

You meet an old lesbian, a friend of yours gets a headache,

and the first thing you think of is witches and spells.

She's pale. Her hands are freezing.

Listen, I have an aunt in Treviso with two teeth like this,

but her name isn't Dracula.

I think you're burnt out.

You need some distraction.

Why don't you come to the movies with me?

- Now? - Yeah.

- What are they showing? - It's a cycle of German Expressionism.

How cheerful. Still, it's better than going home.

- Come on. We're late. - Let's go.

- Look who's here. - Hi.

Hey, are you watching the movie too?

Are you crazy?

No, it's nothing. I'm sorry.

"The time has come! The stars favor the casting of spells."

The Art of Giving Life to Dead Things

"I wrested the horrible life-giving word from the dark powers!

I will give life to the Golem!"

- Let's go. - What?

- Hurry up! - But we just...

Damn it!

Listen, tell me what's going on!

I remembered that missing detail.

When the power went out, the camera was on the table with the lens capped,

but when it came back on, it was on the floor,

near the doll, and the lens was open.

- So what? - Don't you see?

Someone used it to take some photos while the lights were off.

No, it can't be. That's absurd.

I know.

Look. The film is used up.

- Are you sure you didn't shoot them? - Positive.

I put in a new roll while I was talking to Awojubi.

Then I remembered all those coincidences:

Toni's fainting spell, your camera getting jammed, the hippie's death.

I thought that this camera might be cursed.

So I used the Canon, to ward off the curse.

So what are we waiting for? Let's develop the film.

But it was dark when they were taken.

There shouldn't be anything there.

Is that what you really think?

No.

Come on, then.

- Hey, is this Annette? - Yes.

Not bad.

If she ever turns into a real girl, I'd love to meet her.

It can't be!

What's Romina's phone number?

Hello?

This is Arno Treves. I'd like to speak to Romina.

I'm a friend of Valentina's. It's urgent.

What?

I'm sorry.

Arno...

She's dead, isn't she?

Two hours ago.

- Yes? - Good morning, my dear.

I'm sorry I woke you.

I wanted to tell you that your camera is here.

Come and get it right away.

Don't wait for your friend to come back.

Right away. Do you understand?

Valentina.

What more do you want from me?

Don't be afraid, my dear.

The wires are very old here.

The lights go out quite often.

Your camera.

Why did you kill that hippie?

Why did you kill Romina?

Me?

I certainly didn't want it to happen.

That doesn't mean anything, my dear.

There are forces...

that can strike at any time.

These forces use us, and we can't resist them.

I will resist them!

You're very arrogant, like all your people.

You think you've conquered and dominated the moon,

but actually you don't even know the secrets of your own earth.

You will come with me, Valentina.

I will teach you the secrets men have searched for in vain for centuries.

You'll become rich and powerful.

I have already proven to you

that I can do with you as I please.

No!

I don't give a damn about power, cosmic secrets and riches.

I will do whatever the hell I want with my life.

And I have no intention of making love to an old lesbian like you.

Your intentions are irrelevant.

You'll come with me whether you want to or not.

Now go upstairs to the room I have prepared for you.

Valentina.

Valentina.

Where are you?

Arno!

Annette!

Annette!

Tell them.

- What are you doing here? - That's him.

It's a long story.

- You see, a lady lives here... - What are you talking about?

Tell the truth.

A woman here? This house is abandoned.

- Abandoned? - That's right, missy.

It's been abandoned for years.

It belongs to the city, and they can't afford to knock it down.

There's even a "for sale" sign outside. Get it?

- Is there anything down there? - Yes, a whole lot of dust.

There's some old furniture, some bricks and other debris.

Oh, look. There's a doll's head.

I'm a photographer.

I needed some pictures of a place like this.

At night?

Whatever. Tomorrow come to the station, okay?

Of course, officer. We'll be there. Thank you.