All language subtitles for American Dad - 14x18 - No Weddings and a Funeral.TBS.English

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,930 2 00:00:06,564 --> 00:00:07,572 [ANNOYED] Honey? 3 00:00:07,597 --> 00:00:09,455 Do I hear the sound of chicken bones 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,943 approaching the disposal? 5 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:15,056 No, you hear the sound of chicken bones being disposed of. 6 00:00:15,435 --> 00:00:17,371 [SWITCH CLICKS, DISPOSAL GRINDING] 7 00:00:17,396 --> 00:00:20,152 Oh?! You suddenly want to help me clean up?! 8 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,498 [GRUNTS] 9 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,222 You can't just throw everything in there 10 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,555 and expect it to disappear. 11 00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:27,233 It's not the ocean, Francine. 12 00:00:27,258 --> 00:00:28,908 B-b-b-burned. 13 00:00:28,933 --> 00:00:30,687 Shut up, Klaus. That wasn't even a burn. 14 00:00:30,712 --> 00:00:33,698 Yeah, Klaus. When I'm burned, I'll let ya know. 15 00:00:33,723 --> 00:00:38,847 Okay, so no chicken down the disposal, but... 16 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,082 How about... this? 17 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,116 [CHUCKLING] That... That's funny. 18 00:00:43,736 --> 00:00:45,021 That's making me laugh. 19 00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,143 And I've decided to join in the joke! 20 00:00:48,534 --> 00:00:50,352 - [FRIGHTENED GROANS] - Francine? 21 00:00:50,377 --> 00:00:51,481 Hit the switch. 22 00:00:51,506 --> 00:00:53,496 - [DISPOSAL WHIRRING] - Okay, we've all had our fun. 23 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,053 Now put me down! 24 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,556 If you insist... 25 00:00:56,581 --> 00:00:59,234 Stan, now you're making me laugh. 26 00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:01,268 And making me kind of hot. 27 00:01:01,293 --> 00:01:02,571 [SHOUTS] 28 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,826 [SCREAMING] Oh, no! Oohheeeghhagh! Help! 29 00:01:04,851 --> 00:01:06,820 [MOCKINGLY] Oohheeeghhagh! 30 00:01:06,845 --> 00:01:07,845 That's you! 31 00:01:07,870 --> 00:01:11,118 I guess you can put chicken down the drain. 32 00:01:11,143 --> 00:01:12,937 - [LAUGHING DERISIVELY] - [SCREAMS] 33 00:01:12,962 --> 00:01:14,988 It sounds like everyone's having a good time. 34 00:01:15,013 --> 00:01:17,134 Yeah, Klaus is in the disposal! 35 00:01:17,159 --> 00:01:18,765 Tell that idiot pieces of shit 36 00:01:18,790 --> 00:01:20,456 are supposed to go in the toilet. 37 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:24,349 [LAUGHING] 38 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:26,663 To the ice cream store! My treat! 39 00:01:28,732 --> 00:01:31,166 Remember, I'm a rum raising guy. 40 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,003 Cool, I'll put some in a waffle cone 41 00:01:33,028 --> 00:01:34,229 and throw it in the trash. 42 00:01:34,254 --> 00:01:35,403 [LAUGHTER] 43 00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:37,890 FRANCINE: Now that was a burn, fish. 44 00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:41,042 45 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:44,053 Good morning, U.S.A. 46 00:01:44,078 --> 00:01:47,597 I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day 47 00:01:47,622 --> 00:01:50,569 The sun in the sky has a smile on his face 48 00:01:50,594 --> 00:01:54,375 And he's shinin' a salute to the American race 49 00:01:57,028 --> 00:02:00,252 Oh, boy, it's swell to say 50 00:02:00,277 --> 00:02:02,721 Good morning, U.S.A. 51 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:03,723 Aah! 52 00:02:05,236 --> 00:02:08,190 Good morning, U.S.A. 53 00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:12,733 54 00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:15,177 Welp, that was the last straw. 55 00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:16,494 I am leaving. 56 00:02:17,105 --> 00:02:19,106 It's too late for apologies. 57 00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:21,100 Nothing could make it right. 58 00:02:21,505 --> 00:02:24,142 Not even acknowledging my existence in any way. 59 00:02:24,589 --> 00:02:26,545 Alright, Klaus. What's all this? 60 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:27,837 You... You're selling lemonade? 61 00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:29,387 No, I'm leaving. 62 00:02:29,412 --> 00:02:31,620 I've never asked for anything but a little respect. 63 00:02:31,645 --> 00:02:33,987 And it's clear I'm not going to get it. 64 00:02:34,012 --> 00:02:36,338 Okay, okay. I'll buy a lemonade. 65 00:02:36,363 --> 00:02:38,865 [SCREAMS] I'm not selling lemonade! 66 00:02:38,890 --> 00:02:40,613 I'm leaving! Forever! 67 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,562 One day you'll all regret how you treated me! 68 00:02:45,809 --> 00:02:46,809 Should we stop him? 69 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:47,943 The lemonade guy? 70 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,116 He's just being dramatic. He'll be back. 71 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,287 _ 72 00:02:53,751 --> 00:02:56,886 Okay, kids. Help Mom with the groceries. 73 00:02:57,236 --> 00:02:59,190 Jeff Junior, you stop drawing 74 00:02:59,215 --> 00:03:01,513 rockets shooting lasers on my windows. 75 00:03:02,113 --> 00:03:03,315 [PHONE BEEPS] 76 00:03:03,662 --> 00:03:04,918 Klaus died? 77 00:03:05,188 --> 00:03:06,869 Klaus the fish? 78 00:03:06,894 --> 00:03:09,922 Geez, I haven't seen him since he walked out. 79 00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:12,966 [MARVIN GAYE'S "I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE" PLAYS] 80 00:03:12,991 --> 00:03:15,130 81 00:03:15,155 --> 00:03:16,994 _ 82 00:03:17,019 --> 00:03:20,857 Ooh, I bet you're wonderin' how I knew 83 00:03:21,793 --> 00:03:25,670 'Bout your plans to make me blue 84 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:29,253 With some other guy you knew before 85 00:03:29,278 --> 00:03:31,421 - Between the two of us guys - [PHONE RINGS] 86 00:03:31,446 --> 00:03:33,678 You know I loved you more 87 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:37,660 It took me by surprise I must say 88 00:03:38,171 --> 00:03:41,680 When I found out yesterday 89 00:03:41,705 --> 00:03:44,810 Don't you know that I heard it through the grapevine 90 00:03:44,835 --> 00:03:45,962 [PHONE RINGS] 91 00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:47,915 Go for the Stanimal. 92 00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:49,940 Oh, when? 93 00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:51,871 Yeah, I know where Francine's house is. 94 00:03:51,896 --> 00:03:53,682 That's where I used to sleep in my car 95 00:03:53,707 --> 00:03:55,834 until a judge and I came to a mutual agreement 96 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,702 that Francine be rewarded that car 97 00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:00,005 and I remain 80 yards away at all times. 98 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:03,709 Hey! 99 00:04:03,887 --> 00:04:04,906 You know the deal. 100 00:04:04,931 --> 00:04:06,130 Neither of us gets to do it 101 00:04:06,155 --> 00:04:08,038 until I can afford a second bullet. 102 00:04:09,328 --> 00:04:12,832 - - _ 103 00:04:12,857 --> 00:04:14,992 [DOORBELL RINGS] 104 00:04:15,017 --> 00:04:17,921 [WHIRRING] 105 00:04:17,946 --> 00:04:20,449 Steve. It's been years. 106 00:04:20,474 --> 00:04:21,740 Hello, Mother. 107 00:04:24,447 --> 00:04:27,598 I follow your company on Newstagram. 108 00:04:27,623 --> 00:04:29,945 You just bought freakin' Hawaii! 109 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,796 As a place to store my shoes. 110 00:04:31,821 --> 00:04:33,534 I'm doing quite well, yes. 111 00:04:33,559 --> 00:04:34,973 Is he here? 112 00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,775 Of course he's here. 113 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,577 He's my husband now. 114 00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:39,845 And he's your father. 115 00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,399 He is not my father. 116 00:04:41,424 --> 00:04:43,609 He's my ex-best friend. 117 00:04:44,244 --> 00:04:46,388 __ 118 00:04:46,413 --> 00:04:48,971 Toshi, you finally learned another language... 119 00:04:48,996 --> 00:04:50,655 and you chose French? 120 00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:53,058 That's the kind of kissing he does. 121 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,922 [LOUDLY KISSES] 122 00:04:54,947 --> 00:04:56,178 Ooh, la, la. 123 00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,131 Croissant. 124 00:04:59,078 --> 00:05:00,229 [BAM!] 125 00:05:00,254 --> 00:05:01,729 Hey, everyone. 126 00:05:01,754 --> 00:05:02,794 Papa Toshi. 127 00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:05,400 Whoa, you only had one kid in your Christmas card. 128 00:05:05,425 --> 00:05:06,759 That was ten years ago. 129 00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:08,157 I wish it were 15. 130 00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,209 You must be the little darlings 131 00:05:10,211 --> 00:05:12,560 my daughter's been keeping from me. 132 00:05:12,585 --> 00:05:14,545 As a good mother, I try to shield them 133 00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:16,857 from drunk housewives and bad haircuts. 134 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,774 I hope you wike it. 135 00:05:20,694 --> 00:05:23,847 I puwled the skeweton out awl by mysewf. 136 00:05:23,872 --> 00:05:25,090 JEFF: That's Noah. 137 00:05:25,414 --> 00:05:27,626 [QUIETLY] We're a little worried about him. 138 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:29,451 Has trouble saying "L" 's. 139 00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:32,764 [RUMBLING] 140 00:05:32,789 --> 00:05:35,700 What up, sluts? Happy Klaus's funeral. 141 00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,969 Roger! My floor! 142 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,170 Cool, right? 143 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,266 Above-ground traffic is for poor people. 144 00:05:41,291 --> 00:05:43,219 I got here from Tokyo in 20 minutes. 145 00:05:43,244 --> 00:05:44,506 Bored right through the core. 146 00:05:44,531 --> 00:05:46,311 No poors in the core, baby. 147 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,972 [METALLIC RATTLING] 148 00:05:50,170 --> 00:05:51,934 Veela, why aren't you stealing anything? 149 00:05:51,959 --> 00:05:55,128 Stan! How the hell did you get in my house?! 150 00:05:55,153 --> 00:05:59,038 I, uh, still have a key to the backdoor. 151 00:06:01,805 --> 00:06:03,672 Dad, it's good to... 152 00:06:05,006 --> 00:06:06,197 Y-You look... 153 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,266 Alive. 154 00:06:07,268 --> 00:06:08,800 Oh, you noticed? 155 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,316 Sorry I'm late, gang. I was busy being awesome, 156 00:06:11,341 --> 00:06:14,072 eating really expensive cookies whenever I want, 157 00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,374 swimming in all the oceans, and not having any parasites. 158 00:06:17,399 --> 00:06:18,944 [SILVERWARE CLATTERS] 159 00:06:19,305 --> 00:06:22,036 Well, I'm sure you'd all like to unpack. 160 00:06:22,061 --> 00:06:24,242 Hayley, you take your old room. 161 00:06:24,267 --> 00:06:26,698 Steve, you share the attic with Roger. 162 00:06:26,723 --> 00:06:30,822 Toshi and I turned your bedroom into an ass-blast-itorium. 163 00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,426 [CHUCKLES DERISIVELY] Real creative. 164 00:06:32,451 --> 00:06:36,448 Hey, don't turn my kitchen into a sass-back-itorium! 165 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,385 Stan, there's a blanket in the basement. 166 00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:42,229 Sure, I... I guess I could cancel my suite at the Four Seasons... 167 00:06:42,254 --> 00:06:44,853 and my expensive prostitute. 168 00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:47,750 169 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:48,854 [TYPES ON KEYBOARD] 170 00:06:48,879 --> 00:06:52,273 [RUMBLING] 171 00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:57,031 Can you believe these little drills are optional? 172 00:06:57,056 --> 00:07:00,519 If I didn't have a little drill, I'd kill myself like Klaus. 173 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,453 I'm assuming it was a suicide? 174 00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:04,034 Do we know? Do we care? 175 00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:05,059 I don't know. 176 00:07:05,084 --> 00:07:06,883 - The woman who called Douglas... - Douglas? 177 00:07:06,908 --> 00:07:08,352 - My jerk-off robot... - Your what? 178 00:07:08,377 --> 00:07:09,524 My regular robot! 179 00:07:11,128 --> 00:07:14,090 The woman who called Douglas was light on details... 180 00:07:14,115 --> 00:07:15,400 of Klaus's death. 181 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,336 Which is the topic of this conversation. 182 00:07:17,338 --> 00:07:19,461 Master, you seem tense. 183 00:07:19,486 --> 00:07:21,807 Would you like to jerk me off? 184 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,569 Wait. You do him? 185 00:07:26,142 --> 00:07:28,146 [SING-SONGY] Awkward. 186 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:34,411 187 00:07:34,436 --> 00:07:37,298 Thank you all for coming on such short notice. 188 00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,201 I'm Sister Madeline. 189 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:43,165 I met Klaus while passing out food and blankets on Skid Row. 190 00:07:43,994 --> 00:07:45,201 Excuse me, Stan Smith. 191 00:07:45,226 --> 00:07:46,832 I'd like to start by saying I was invited 192 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,296 so I'm allowed to be here. 193 00:07:48,321 --> 00:07:50,849 Now, where are you passing out these free blankets? 194 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:55,279 I was with Klaus in his final moments. 195 00:07:55,304 --> 00:07:57,797 He requested that I gather you all together 196 00:07:57,822 --> 00:08:00,119 and show you this video. 197 00:08:01,041 --> 00:08:03,323 Dearest Smiths... [COUGHS] 198 00:08:03,926 --> 00:08:06,117 ... I bet you always wondered what happened 199 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,112 - to good, ol' Klaus. - Nope. 200 00:08:08,137 --> 00:08:10,401 - Not me. - Oh, that Klaus! 201 00:08:10,679 --> 00:08:15,787 Well, [COUGHS] after I left, my life went downhill. 202 00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:19,204 I caught Hep C from a plum at the 99 cent store. 203 00:08:19,229 --> 00:08:21,335 And because I didn't have insurance, 204 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,191 I joined the army, 205 00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:25,693 but they sent me directly to the Moon Wars 206 00:08:25,718 --> 00:08:27,648 where I went completely insane 207 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,742 after my brain was infested with moon mites. 208 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,083 [COUGHS] 209 00:08:32,108 --> 00:08:35,070 But I never blamed you guys. 210 00:08:35,095 --> 00:08:37,066 You were the only family... 211 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:40,210 I ever loved. 212 00:08:40,631 --> 00:08:43,055 [COUGHS] 213 00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:47,826 Was that a snuff film? 214 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,761 You should be ashamed of yourselves! 215 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,082 You all turned your back on your friend, 216 00:08:52,107 --> 00:08:54,165 and he died alone. 217 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,143 What do you want us to do about it, lady? 218 00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,779 Give him a proper funeral! 219 00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,438 Say some nice things! 220 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,306 Throw in one of those blankets you've been yapping about 221 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,642 and we got a deal, but I want it upfront. 222 00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:05,907 I've been burned before. 223 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,123 Fine. We'll throw Klaus a stupid funeral. 224 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,937 - Then will you feel better? - This isn't about me. 225 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:14,058 - It's about Klaus! - [DOOR SLAMS] 226 00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:16,941 Oh, but it is about me. 227 00:09:16,966 --> 00:09:19,524 [VOICE DEEPENING] And it's about Klaus, 228 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:23,363 for I... am... Klaus! 229 00:09:24,322 --> 00:09:25,546 Sorry, did you say something? 230 00:09:25,571 --> 00:09:27,799 [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Oh, just conversing with the Lord. 231 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,439 He's the best, you know. 232 00:09:30,516 --> 00:09:31,710 Okay. 233 00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:33,872 Remember the blanket. 234 00:09:35,953 --> 00:09:36,953 [DOOR SLAMS] 235 00:09:38,150 --> 00:09:40,322 236 00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,347 So everyone has their assignments 237 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,455 for Klaus's funeral preparations. 238 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:45,884 By the way, where's Jeff? 239 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,196 I sent him home with the kids. 240 00:09:47,221 --> 00:09:48,896 He wasn't here when we had Klaus. 241 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,022 What?! Yes, he was! 242 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,030 I'm... assuming... 243 00:09:53,204 --> 00:09:56,027 based on information available to anybody. 244 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,065 Come on, let's get this over with. 245 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,898 This isn't something to "get over with." 246 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,099 It's a chance to come to terms 247 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,746 with the great loss you all must feel. 248 00:10:04,183 --> 00:10:05,413 Quick question... 249 00:10:05,659 --> 00:10:06,772 You're Klaus, right? 250 00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,449 What?! Who's Klaus?! 251 00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:11,243 That's... not what you'd say. 252 00:10:11,245 --> 00:10:13,644 [NORMAL VOICE] Okay, this family owes me an apology. 253 00:10:13,669 --> 00:10:16,139 They were wrong to treat me so badly. 254 00:10:16,164 --> 00:10:19,708 And once the sobering reality of my funeral hits them, 255 00:10:19,733 --> 00:10:21,305 they'll sob, 256 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,831 they'll wail, 257 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,758 they'll beg the heavens for my return! 258 00:10:26,237 --> 00:10:29,750 Huh. So it's a goof. That's pretty cool! 259 00:10:29,775 --> 00:10:32,108 Oh, you know what would be a good way to reveal you're alive? 260 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,799 When they're kneeling in front of your casket, 261 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,501 just, like, fart really loud. 262 00:10:35,526 --> 00:10:37,469 [CHUCKLES] No, wait. That's too good. 263 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:38,498 I want to do that. 264 00:10:38,523 --> 00:10:41,222 Oh, man, I am gonna be the hit of the funeral! 265 00:10:41,247 --> 00:10:44,057 Us at Familyland. Us at the beach. 266 00:10:44,082 --> 00:10:47,078 Oh, look. Remember when we ate this pasta? 267 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,375 Oh, my God. Yes! It was so good! 268 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,817 I got full, though. 269 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:54,419 Hey, I'm sorry we lost touch. 270 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,644 - What happened to us? - I don't know. 271 00:10:56,669 --> 00:10:58,490 The pictures stop after the pasta. 272 00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:00,556 [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] How's it going down here? 273 00:11:00,581 --> 00:11:03,592 Have you found any good photos of Klaus for the slideshow? 274 00:11:03,617 --> 00:11:05,297 Actually, it doesn't seem like we have any. 275 00:11:05,299 --> 00:11:07,293 What?! How is that possible? 276 00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,096 I guess we didn't have an underwater camera. 277 00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:12,783 Jesus H., how stupid are you? He lived in a bowl. 278 00:11:12,808 --> 00:11:15,264 You don't have to put the camera in the bowl. 279 00:11:15,289 --> 00:11:17,568 Why do you have such a boner for Klaus? 280 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:18,940 Aren't you married to God? 281 00:11:18,965 --> 00:11:20,365 Just find a picture! 282 00:11:22,565 --> 00:11:24,693 Oh, here's one with Klaus in the background. 283 00:11:24,829 --> 00:11:26,963 That's a tangerine. 284 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,363 Eh. We'll just draw some eyes on it. 285 00:11:31,388 --> 00:11:34,325 [SCISSORS SNIPPING] 286 00:11:35,659 --> 00:11:37,524 Stan, what are you doing? 287 00:11:37,549 --> 00:11:40,782 Aren't... Aren't they asparagus? [MUNCHING] 288 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,403 God, how are you even alive? 289 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,767 Francine, I have to come clean with you. 290 00:11:48,362 --> 00:11:51,134 I'm not doing as well as I maybe look. 291 00:11:51,159 --> 00:11:52,678 You look like you're dying. 292 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:53,945 That's just a facade. 293 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,743 My life's not a fairy tale. 294 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,736 This is a ferret tail. 295 00:11:57,761 --> 00:12:00,850 Nah, things aren't that great for me either. 296 00:12:00,875 --> 00:12:04,434 I have to confess, when I agreed to marry Toshi, 297 00:12:04,459 --> 00:12:06,556 I had him confused with Snot. 298 00:12:06,581 --> 00:12:09,734 I feel like everything changed for us after the divorce. 299 00:12:09,759 --> 00:12:11,395 People don't talk about that part. 300 00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:12,865 What happened to us? 301 00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:15,068 When did everything become a fight? 302 00:12:15,733 --> 00:12:16,733 I'm sorry. 303 00:12:16,758 --> 00:12:18,020 Sorry about Klaus?! 304 00:12:18,045 --> 00:12:20,944 No, we're talking about our marriage falling apart. 305 00:12:20,969 --> 00:12:22,040 Ever heard of it? 306 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,641 Well, start talking about Klaus 307 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,308 or I'll tell God you should all go to hell! 308 00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:27,952 Ever heard of that? 309 00:12:30,448 --> 00:12:33,513 [STAMMERS] This robot was trying to get fresh. 310 00:12:33,538 --> 00:12:35,865 [NORMALLY] Can you believe this family? 311 00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:38,056 All they care about is themselves. 312 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,949 Wow, you sound like Klaus! 313 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,327 [STAMMERS] I am Klaus! 314 00:12:41,329 --> 00:12:43,245 Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, you got that plan. 315 00:12:43,277 --> 00:12:44,898 You're going to fart or something at a funeral? 316 00:12:44,922 --> 00:12:45,997 Ugh. That's so stupid. 317 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,265 That was your idea! 318 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,505 Well, I see how it could work. 319 00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:51,635 I guess it would all depend on the execution. 320 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,193 Well, good luck at the wedding. 321 00:12:55,713 --> 00:12:59,548 322 00:13:00,494 --> 00:13:01,747 [SLOWLY] Hey, now 323 00:13:01,749 --> 00:13:03,163 You're an all-star 324 00:13:03,188 --> 00:13:04,750 Get your game on 325 00:13:04,752 --> 00:13:06,818 Go, play 326 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,153 Hey now 327 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,567 You're a rock star 328 00:13:09,592 --> 00:13:10,956 Get the show on 329 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,570 Get paid 330 00:13:12,595 --> 00:13:16,527 And all that glitters is gold 331 00:13:16,552 --> 00:13:22,103 Only shooting stars break the mold 332 00:13:25,316 --> 00:13:27,973 [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Klaus was a special fish 333 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:31,002 who swam his way into our hearts. 334 00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:34,380 Perhaps someone would like to say a few words? 335 00:13:34,382 --> 00:13:35,581 Stan? 336 00:13:38,396 --> 00:13:39,729 Uh, okay. 337 00:13:39,754 --> 00:13:41,117 Uh, Klaus. 338 00:13:41,601 --> 00:13:43,589 Well, he was a fish. We know that. 339 00:13:44,136 --> 00:13:46,481 And he lived in our house for a few weeks. 340 00:13:46,506 --> 00:13:47,905 For years! 341 00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:51,196 Maybe focus on your emotions. 342 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,606 Like crippling guilt or haunting remorse? 343 00:13:56,244 --> 00:13:57,840 [CRIES] 344 00:13:57,865 --> 00:14:00,583 Yes, it's okay to cry. 345 00:14:00,608 --> 00:14:02,718 Let it flow. 346 00:14:02,743 --> 00:14:05,307 [LAUGHING] I'm sorry. I'm not crying, I'm laughing. 347 00:14:05,332 --> 00:14:07,613 I'm just remembering this time Klaus tried to convince us 348 00:14:07,615 --> 00:14:10,015 he could kick a football over a Burger King. 349 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,450 Ha! He was such a liar. 350 00:14:12,475 --> 00:14:13,751 Remember when he told us 351 00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:16,554 he beat up Brett Favre at a mini-golf course? 352 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:19,110 - FRANCINE: What an idiot! - [LAUGHTER] 353 00:14:19,135 --> 00:14:20,358 Check this out, guys. 354 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,758 I always said Klaus was a wiener. 355 00:14:23,417 --> 00:14:27,075 [NORMALLY] Shut up! Shut up! 356 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,975 You guys are ruining my funeral! 357 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,099 Whoa, you do a better Klaus than he did. 358 00:14:31,124 --> 00:14:32,391 I am Klaus! 359 00:14:32,416 --> 00:14:34,205 Klaus, now's the time for the fart. 360 00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:35,331 Shut up. 361 00:14:35,356 --> 00:14:39,724 I gave you all every chance to say one decent thing about me. 362 00:14:39,749 --> 00:14:43,412 And now, I'll give you one final chance. 363 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,883 Did you kill a nun? 364 00:14:45,908 --> 00:14:46,995 That's it! 365 00:14:48,140 --> 00:14:51,235 Whoa, this is gonna be some fart. 366 00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:53,492 [CAN HISSING] 367 00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:55,294 Wowee. 368 00:14:55,319 --> 00:14:56,652 [MULTIPLE THUDS] 369 00:14:58,873 --> 00:15:01,112 STEVE: What... What's going on? 370 00:15:01,137 --> 00:15:02,972 FRANCINE: Where are we? 371 00:15:08,676 --> 00:15:10,942 We're... underwater. 372 00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,078 And we're in the attic. 373 00:15:13,103 --> 00:15:15,747 Oh, crap. We're in Klaus's bowl. 374 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,685 No, it's worse. 375 00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:19,301 We're in Klaus's body. 376 00:15:19,326 --> 00:15:21,945 Bingo, jerkwads. 377 00:15:23,134 --> 00:15:25,000 Welcome to hell, 378 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,418 otherwise known as my life. 379 00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:29,062 Oh, my God. 380 00:15:29,087 --> 00:15:30,762 I left my charger out there 381 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,364 and my phone's at 4%! 382 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,371 This is gonna suck! 383 00:15:35,929 --> 00:15:38,347 384 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,372 STEVE: Klaus, what the hell is going on? 385 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:43,562 You shrunk us down and put us in a fish-sized submarine? 386 00:15:43,587 --> 00:15:45,191 Don't be stupid, Steve. 387 00:15:45,216 --> 00:15:46,938 Even science has its limits. 388 00:15:46,963 --> 00:15:50,149 I simply transferred all of your consciousnesses into my body, 389 00:15:50,174 --> 00:15:52,460 so you'd feel what it's like to be me. 390 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,656 No more questions! 391 00:15:53,681 --> 00:15:56,068 Wait, why did you put yourself in here? 392 00:15:56,093 --> 00:15:57,322 Great question. 393 00:15:57,578 --> 00:15:58,705 That was a mistake. 394 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,802 Okay, quick poll. 395 00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,241 Who wants to learn Klaus's dumb lesson? 396 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,149 Not me. I want to watch TV. 397 00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:08,299 We've got to find someone to help us get back into our bodies. 398 00:16:08,324 --> 00:16:11,589 Maybe we can use these controls to call for help. 399 00:16:11,614 --> 00:16:13,248 Blat! Eep! Ooh! 400 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,339 You don't know what you're doing. 401 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:15,557 Use one of the presets. 402 00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:17,645 Wuzzuuuuuuuup! 403 00:16:18,305 --> 00:16:19,861 [IMITATING BORAT] My wife! 404 00:16:20,635 --> 00:16:22,902 [NORMALLY] It's five to watch, ten to touch. 405 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,716 I... I used to work at a movie theater 406 00:16:25,741 --> 00:16:27,820 where it cost extra to touch the screen. 407 00:16:27,822 --> 00:16:30,268 Eh, you clowns, get out of the way. 408 00:16:30,491 --> 00:16:33,291 There's his cup. That's how he gets around. 409 00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:36,005 - [CONSOLE BEEPS] - [WATER SLOSHES] 410 00:16:36,030 --> 00:16:37,466 Nice move, Francine. 411 00:16:37,491 --> 00:16:39,191 It's obviously the levers. 412 00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:44,536 Yeah! Daddy just dunked on y'all! 413 00:16:46,613 --> 00:16:47,710 Stan! 414 00:16:47,735 --> 00:16:51,020 415 00:16:51,045 --> 00:16:52,720 Who lit a Yankee candle? 416 00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,312 I like the smell of cookies, 417 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,160 but I don't have the time to bake. 418 00:16:56,185 --> 00:16:58,908 Klaus, you've got to help us. We're all gonna die. 419 00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:01,319 [SCOFFS] I don't care if I die. 420 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:04,299 In fact, welcome to my suicide. 421 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:06,879 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 422 00:17:06,904 --> 00:17:07,992 [CONSOLE BEEPING] 423 00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,525 [VOCALIZING] 424 00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:15,895 425 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,202 STAN: That was lucky. 426 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,551 Now we just have to make it to the front door. 427 00:17:20,853 --> 00:17:22,721 [GRUNTING] 428 00:17:22,746 --> 00:17:27,136 429 00:17:27,161 --> 00:17:28,394 Oh, thank God. 430 00:17:28,419 --> 00:17:30,348 Jeff forgot one of our kids again. 431 00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:33,429 It's... Noah. 432 00:17:33,454 --> 00:17:36,852 [LISPING] Fishy, your skeleton needs to come out. 433 00:17:38,154 --> 00:17:40,269 The little creep's gonna taxidermy us. 434 00:17:40,294 --> 00:17:42,271 - Go for his knees. - No, dummy. Choke him. 435 00:17:42,296 --> 00:17:44,240 You idiots, kick him in the balls. 436 00:17:44,265 --> 00:17:46,615 We should be kicking Klaus in the balls. 437 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,158 You can't kick Klaus in something he doesn't have. 438 00:17:49,183 --> 00:17:50,812 [LAUGHTER] 439 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,215 Good burn, son. 440 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,306 Hayley, you got one? 441 00:17:53,331 --> 00:17:54,950 There's a peanut on the floor. 442 00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:56,641 Hmm, kind of a thinker. 443 00:17:56,666 --> 00:17:58,945 I obviously get it, but what about the broader audience 444 00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:00,297 you want to reach with your comedy? 445 00:18:00,321 --> 00:18:02,562 No, there's a peanut on the floor. 446 00:18:02,587 --> 00:18:03,719 Noah's allergic. 447 00:18:03,744 --> 00:18:05,913 If you have to explain it, Hayley, it's not funny. 448 00:18:05,938 --> 00:18:09,187 No, we flick the peanut in Noah's mouth! 449 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:14,126 450 00:18:14,128 --> 00:18:15,128 Fish... 451 00:18:15,153 --> 00:18:17,623 [GAGS] 452 00:18:17,648 --> 00:18:20,205 [COUGHS] I got to get my EpiPen! 453 00:18:21,302 --> 00:18:22,302 ALL: Yes! 454 00:18:22,327 --> 00:18:25,403 Wait. Do you guys realize what's happening? 455 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,904 When we all make fun of Klaus, 456 00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:30,414 we get along, like at his funeral! 457 00:18:30,439 --> 00:18:34,608 That must be why everything fell apart after he left. 458 00:18:34,633 --> 00:18:37,938 Klaus is the glue that holds this family together! 459 00:18:37,963 --> 00:18:40,368 Klaus is incredibly important... 460 00:18:40,393 --> 00:18:42,627 because he sucks so much. 461 00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,934 - [GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS] - Thank you. 462 00:18:44,959 --> 00:18:46,691 That's all I wanted. 463 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:50,437 I just needed to be appreciated for something. 464 00:18:50,641 --> 00:18:52,634 - [PICTURE CLATTERS] - Great, great. 465 00:18:52,659 --> 00:18:54,432 We all love each other again. Now down the stairs. 466 00:18:54,434 --> 00:19:01,434 467 00:19:03,682 --> 00:19:05,745 Klaus, where's your door claw?! 468 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,120 I buried it. 469 00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:08,425 It's what I bludgeoned the nun with 470 00:19:08,449 --> 00:19:10,407 before I stole her body. 471 00:19:10,432 --> 00:19:12,870 Steve, tell your robot to open the door. 472 00:19:12,895 --> 00:19:14,853 I can't. See his eyes? 473 00:19:15,484 --> 00:19:18,378 It's been over 24 hours since I serviced him. 474 00:19:18,403 --> 00:19:20,004 - What? - [SIGHS] 475 00:19:20,029 --> 00:19:22,729 Okay, it's not a regular robot. It's a pleasure bot. 476 00:19:22,754 --> 00:19:25,197 And there's only one way to get him out of attack mode... 477 00:19:25,199 --> 00:19:26,743 Pleasure him. 478 00:19:26,768 --> 00:19:28,167 Oh, God. 479 00:19:28,192 --> 00:19:29,221 Don't worry. 480 00:19:29,246 --> 00:19:31,269 Together, we can do this. 481 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,568 To battle stations! 482 00:19:33,593 --> 00:19:38,359 483 00:19:38,384 --> 00:19:39,850 Follow my lead! 484 00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:41,243 I know what he likes. 485 00:19:41,268 --> 00:19:43,001 [CONSOLES BEEPING] 486 00:19:43,026 --> 00:19:50,026 487 00:19:52,493 --> 00:19:55,075 [MECHANICAL MOANING] 488 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:59,275 [SIGHS HAPPILY] 489 00:20:01,479 --> 00:20:04,013 490 00:20:04,038 --> 00:20:05,339 HAYLEY: We made it. 491 00:20:05,364 --> 00:20:07,039 Well, let me take the helm, 492 00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:09,641 and we'll get you back in your bodies. 493 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,643 I want to go find Toshi first. 494 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:14,446 After all this, you still want to be with him? 495 00:20:14,448 --> 00:20:16,581 No, I just think it will be easier 496 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,650 to break up with him inside the fish. 497 00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:19,752 You mean it, honey? 498 00:20:19,777 --> 00:20:21,096 Come here you. 499 00:20:21,121 --> 00:20:25,254 500 00:20:25,279 --> 00:20:27,808 _ 501 00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:31,327 Well, my company was surprised I moved it to Langley Falls, 502 00:20:31,352 --> 00:20:34,199 but I had to oversee a very important merger. 503 00:20:34,201 --> 00:20:36,571 To Mom and Dad's second marriage! 504 00:20:37,079 --> 00:20:38,159 [GLASSES CLINK] 505 00:20:38,937 --> 00:20:42,807 Ahem. Guys, it's great to be back with the family, 506 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,609 and I'd like to say... 507 00:20:44,881 --> 00:20:47,588 [CHANTING] Disposal. Disposal. 508 00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:51,149 ALL: [CHANTING] Disposal! Disposal! Disposal! 509 00:20:51,151 --> 00:20:52,398 Disposal! 510 00:20:54,243 --> 00:20:57,031 I'm the glue, baby! 511 00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,200 [DISPOSAL WHIRRING] 512 00:20:58,225 --> 00:20:59,820 Bye bye! See you soon! 513 00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:04,023 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 35240

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.