All language subtitles for (mkvking.com) Alls Well Ends Well 1997 (1997)
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1
00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:53,577
白粥、油条是公公的
2
00:00:57,681 --> 00:01:01,985
乖乖的…多喝点，多吃点
3
00:01:04,721 --> 00:01:07,591
火腿煎双蛋加报纸，这是老公的
4
00:01:20,704 --> 00:01:24,508
老外玉米片少点糖加百事可乐是二叔的
5
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,041
你哪位呀？
6
00:02:33,210 --> 00:02:35,746
无所谓，起床
7
00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:38,482
我先去洗个脸
8
00:02:38,682 --> 00:02:40,884
算了吧，你洗不洗脸都是这副德性
9
00:02:41,518 --> 00:02:44,721
你什么意思啊！你昨晚还说我漂亮呢！
10
00:02:45,022 --> 00:02:46,223
昨晚上我喝了九十多杯
11
00:02:46,456 --> 00:02:48,525
Tequi1a你当然漂亮了
12
00:02:48,592 --> 00:02:51,061
拜托你别从门口出去 别把我家里的人吓死
13
00:02:51,328 --> 00:02:54,198
你从屋后的水管爬下去算了，走吧…
14
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,110
贤淑呀贤淑
15
00:03:06,243 --> 00:03:09,113
不用一天到晚都弄这个“油炸鬼” 吧
16
00:03:09,313 --> 00:03:11,182
是不是不好吃呀，爸爸？ 不是、不是
17
00:03:11,382 --> 00:03:13,584
这个…随便弄点葱油饼
18
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,619
包子馒头、豆浆这些就可以了
19
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,188
我知道了
20
00:03:17,421 --> 00:03:18,456
爸，早上好
21
00:03:18,689 --> 00:03:19,390
早！
22
00:03:19,623 --> 00:03:21,325
老公，你的头怎么了？
23
00:03:21,459 --> 00:03:22,993
碰了一下
24
00:03:23,994 --> 00:03:27,298
爸，长洲那间铺子我们签约
25
00:03:27,365 --> 00:03:29,467
过两天我去看看环境怎么样
26
00:03:29,700 --> 00:03:32,670
把小非也带去吧，他应该帮帮你忙了
27
00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:36,240
不行！我还要继续念书呢
28
00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,042
你两年前已经毕业了
29
00:03:38,242 --> 00:03:41,112
学海无涯嘛，我今天博士毕业啊
30
00:03:41,345 --> 00:03:43,714
你又毕业！你要毕业多少次？
31
00:03:44,048 --> 00:03:46,083
其实我并没有念很多书嘛
32
00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:49,220
只有三个学士学位和一个硕士学位
33
00:03:49,553 --> 00:03:51,522
这回才是第一次博士毕业
34
00:03:51,789 --> 00:03:54,258
博士！什么系呀？
35
00:03:54,392 --> 00:03:56,527
RockB1asting， “爆石” 系
36
00:03:56,794 --> 00:03:59,163
“爆石” 都得要念博士？
37
00:03:59,230 --> 00:04:01,532
所有开会的工人个个都是博士
38
00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:04,802
我昨晚已经考虑好了
39
00:04:05,102 --> 00:04:07,071
我终于找到了人生目标
40
00:04:07,338 --> 00:04:08,305
我要继续进修音乐
41
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,675
我们在长洲又要开间新的饭馆了
42
00:04:10,908 --> 00:04:12,376
你毕业后过来帮忙吧
43
00:04:12,476 --> 00:04:13,778
我要做一个歌手
44
00:04:14,078 --> 00:04:15,780
我要当一个流浪的浪漫歌手
45
00:04:16,147 --> 00:04:18,849
流浪的浪漫歌手？等于流动要饭的
46
00:04:19,150 --> 00:04:20,351
家里已经有一个了
47
00:04:20,584 --> 00:04:27,558
好心啦…拜托你啦…
48
00:04:27,792 --> 00:04:30,494
谢谢你施舍点钱吧
49
00:04:30,628 --> 00:04:33,330
喂，你一大早就伸手要钱，太不像话了！
50
00:04:33,497 --> 00:04:34,632
那你是不是我的好大哥？
51
00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,267
那还用问吗？
52
00:04:36,334 --> 00:04:38,202
所以说照顾弟弟是天经地义的事嘛
53
00:04:38,602 --> 00:04:40,571
你贴道符在那干什么？鬼上身吗？
54
00:04:40,838 --> 00:04:43,307
不知道是哪个混蛋拿这个东西砸我
55
00:04:43,474 --> 00:04:44,175
我也不知道
56
00:04:44,408 --> 00:04:45,710
哪个混蛋放这玩意在我的被子里面
57
00:04:46,043 --> 00:04:47,345
这个闹钟是我的
58
00:04:47,445 --> 00:04:48,746
真混蛋！…
59
00:04:49,013 --> 00:04:51,382
那个闹钟是我特意放进你的被子里
60
00:04:51,449 --> 00:04:53,651
我每天晚上下班回来你还没起床
61
00:04:53,951 --> 00:04:55,820
可我每天早上上班你又没回来
62
00:04:55,953 --> 00:04:58,422
拜托你抽时间到我公司去…
63
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,458
你别胡说八道了，我前年刚刚才去过
64
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:02,560
你还知不知道那公司在哪？
65
00:05:02,727 --> 00:05:05,262
不是香港就是九龙，要不然就是新界
66
00:05:05,463 --> 00:05:07,498
刚刚搬到了离岛长洲
67
00:05:07,998 --> 00:05:10,468
你这不就是在故意陷害我吗？
68
00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:12,503
小叔，你吃过早点没有？
69
00:05:12,636 --> 00:05:13,671
你猜
70
00:05:13,904 --> 00:05:14,872
我猜你没吃
71
00:05:15,072 --> 00:05:16,107
真聪明
72
00:05:16,173 --> 00:05:17,308
那你想吃点什么？
73
00:05:17,541 --> 00:05:18,676
吃火锅
74
00:05:19,877 --> 00:05:21,579
我想想办法
75
00:05:27,918 --> 00:05:30,788
大哥，我今天毕业典礼你来不来？
76
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,157
你年年都毕业几次
77
00:05:34,392 --> 00:05:38,262
是…我是老良
78
00:05:38,929 --> 00:05:41,298
我知道了…九点钟见吗？
79
00:05:42,299 --> 00:05:43,167
小非
80
00:05:44,869 --> 00:05:47,672
喂…是…
81
00:05:47,905 --> 00:05:49,540
好…
82
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,941
拜拜
83
00:05:51,575 --> 00:05:52,443
喂，小非
84
00:05:53,511 --> 00:05:56,547
对…是…不好意思
85
00:05:56,781 --> 00:05:58,749
我知道了…
86
00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:00,184
阿恭，你来吗？
87
00:06:00,251 --> 00:06:01,252
我真的很想去
88
00:06:01,519 --> 00:06:03,721
但我吃完这个早餐太阳已经落山了
89
00:06:04,021 --> 00:06:05,723
没办法
90
00:06:07,591 --> 00:06:08,726
老爸，你呢？
91
00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:10,494
我要去学滑浪风帆
92
00:06:10,628 --> 00:06:12,496
什么！你去学滑浪风帆！
93
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:13,631
不行吗？
94
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:17,535
别开玩笑了！前年你又说去学…学什么…
95
00:06:17,702 --> 00:06:18,402
潜水
96
00:06:18,636 --> 00:06:20,604
学潜水，差点死在水里出不来
97
00:06:20,871 --> 00:06:22,239
楞说水底有人抢劫他
98
00:06:22,306 --> 00:06:23,674
是有人勒我脖子嘛
99
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,711
算了吧，去年你又说去澳门赛什么车
100
00:06:26,877 --> 00:06:28,746
其实你只有自行车牌
101
00:06:28,879 --> 00:06:30,581
你有完没完呀？
102
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,249
你不看看你自个儿
103
00:06:32,383 --> 00:06:34,518
书不好好念，事也不好好做
104
00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:36,487
就是会伸手要钱
105
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:37,722
我真是生错了你
106
00:06:37,988 --> 00:06:38,856
你说得对
107
00:06:39,056 --> 00:06:40,424
你还没征求我的同意就把我生出来了
108
00:06:40,524 --> 00:06:42,493
现在正好算账，给钱吧
109
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:46,497
好小子！还顶嘴！是不是想打？
110
00:06:47,264 --> 00:06:49,300
打就打，来呀
111
00:07:12,757 --> 00:07:14,392
笑，笑什么
112
00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:17,461
我告诉你，总有一天我会赢你的
113
00:07:17,661 --> 00:07:21,799
这句才好笑，哈…
114
00:07:34,812 --> 00:07:36,013
曹教授
115
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,549
曹教授 老非
116
00:07:38,716 --> 00:07:41,419
我说错了，应该是DoctorLo才对呀
117
00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:42,620
拿了博士学位
118
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,488
应该有很多公司争着请你去做事了
119
00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:45,856
我想继续念书
120
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:46,991
念什么？
121
00:07:47,191 --> 00:07:48,059
进修声乐
122
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,795
声乐？可你五音不全
123
00:07:50,895 --> 00:07:53,431
我觉得人应该向自己的最大缺点进攻
124
00:07:53,597 --> 00:07:54,965
才能得到最高成就
125
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,634
比如贝多芬是聋子
126
00:07:56,734 --> 00:07:58,769
你声带没长瘤子，为什么要学声乐
127
00:07:58,969 --> 00:08:00,838
我没去检查，也许会有
128
00:08:01,072 --> 00:08:02,940
要不我推荐你做助教
129
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,308
不要浪费那么多时间了
130
00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:05,643
教书？
131
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:06,977
我怕
132
00:08:07,211 --> 00:08:08,412
怕什么？
133
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,816
我怕羞
134
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:16,487
OK，先休息一下，休息一下吧，拜拜
135
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:17,822
拜拜
136
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:22,326
什么玩意儿，胡说八道！
137
00:08:42,646 --> 00:08:45,850
不要了，老公，随便就行了
138
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:50,354
谢谢，刚才拉琴那三位，每人给两块
139
00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:53,958
我帮你写单好吗？
140
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,961
老公，其实我今天晚上买了菜
141
00:08:57,261 --> 00:08:58,629
在家吃就行了
142
00:08:58,696 --> 00:09:00,331
你整天在家吃不烦吗？
143
00:09:00,464 --> 00:09:02,433
你喜欢吃什么随便叫吧
144
00:09:02,633 --> 00:09:04,101
什么都行，你做主
145
00:09:04,435 --> 00:09:07,071
龙利吧，不错的，这里很出名的
146
00:09:07,405 --> 00:09:10,875
我正好买了很鲜的左口，还是回家去吃吧
147
00:09:11,275 --> 00:09:12,810
要不，我们吃牛扒好吗？
148
00:09:12,977 --> 00:09:15,680
不好，这阵疯牛症很流行，千万别吃
149
00:09:15,813 --> 00:09:17,782
那肉酱意粉吧
150
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:20,751
不就是外国的炸酱面，不好
151
00:09:20,985 --> 00:09:23,354
算了，给我杯汽水
152
00:09:23,487 --> 00:09:25,790
哗！五十块一杯啊
153
00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:28,626
超级市场五块钱一大罐呀
154
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,728
那…老婆，你做主吧
155
00:09:30,895 --> 00:09:33,364
不好，还是你做主好
156
00:09:33,898 --> 00:09:36,867
我看叫牛油面包吧，又耐饱又便宜
157
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:38,736
你这算什么态度？
158
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:42,073
你别怪她，她的提议不错
159
00:09:42,673 --> 00:09:44,375
牛油是不是送的？
160
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,949
老公，刚才吃得饱不饱？
161
00:09:51,015 --> 00:09:52,383
好像没吃过东西一样
162
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,352
豁牙在这边
163
00:09:55,753 --> 00:09:59,958
这就对了，一会儿我做新鲜面包给你吃
164
00:10:00,525 --> 00:10:03,494
做你最爱吃的花生酱面包
165
00:10:05,797 --> 00:10:07,265
牛油我都拿回来了
166
00:10:07,365 --> 00:10:08,399
喂，你偷东西呀？
167
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:11,970
什么偷呀？这是给了钱的啊！
168
00:10:12,103 --> 00:10:14,305
如果不拿走， 自己吃亏
169
00:10:14,839 --> 00:10:17,075
老婆，我想和你浪漫一下
170
00:10:17,141 --> 00:10:18,443
来… 什么？
171
00:10:23,047 --> 00:10:27,519
啊！那…可是不三不四的地方呀
172
00:10:27,986 --> 00:10:29,621
如…如果被熟人撞到的话…
173
00:10:29,954 --> 00:10:31,656
我们就是跳到海里也洗不清，你知不知道
174
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:34,492
四面都是镜子，那床会动的，我们去试试
175
00:10:34,792 --> 00:10:36,928
床会动？ 是呀
176
00:10:36,995 --> 00:10:39,063
床为什么会自己动呢？
177
00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:41,599
你把我当成什么女人！
178
00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:43,535
你和谁去过？你怎么会知道！
179
00:10:43,735 --> 00:10:45,937
老婆，我只不过想和你浪漫一下
180
00:10:46,070 --> 00:10:47,372
干嘛那么紧张？
181
00:10:47,739 --> 00:10:52,043
老公，我觉得去长洲看日出是最浪漫的
182
00:10:52,143 --> 00:10:53,178
要不这样吧
183
00:10:53,344 --> 00:10:56,714
我们可以搭小船去长洲看日出，好不好？
184
00:10:57,081 --> 00:10:58,049
我觉得这样才…
185
00:10:58,216 --> 00:10:59,584
老婆，我明天还有四个会要开
186
00:10:59,884 --> 00:11:01,519
咱们以后再说吧
187
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:06,591
没关系，反正我昨天录了电视还没看完呢
188
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,159
就是，回去看录像吧
189
00:11:08,259 --> 00:11:09,394
你做主吧
190
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,510
老婆，你老把自己包得那么严密干什么？
191
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:27,679
我现在连你的肚脐眼是什么样都不记得了
192
00:11:27,879 --> 00:11:30,515
我肚脐眼有什么好看的，看录像吧
193
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:33,518
你干嘛连广告、六合彩都录上了？
194
00:11:35,019 --> 00:11:37,055
对了老公，小叔明天生日
195
00:11:37,388 --> 00:11:38,590
你打算送什么礼物给他？
196
00:11:38,923 --> 00:11:39,791
去年送他什么？
197
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:41,793
他这五年都坚持要现金
198
00:11:42,026 --> 00:11:43,061
那今年一样啰
199
00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:44,729
那到底给多少？先准备好
200
00:11:45,029 --> 00:11:47,498
头奖一票中，独获三千一百八十万元
201
00:11:49,434 --> 00:11:51,069
今年给三千万
202
00:11:53,137 --> 00:11:54,606
我们用上一期的号码来整他
203
00:11:54,906 --> 00:11:56,374
好啊…太过瘾了！
204
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:58,176
早上好！早上好！
205
00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,645
你们为什么突然帅了很多
206
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:01,813
看起来还多了点内涵呢
207
00:12:02,046 --> 00:12:03,748
你不用那么嘴甜 我们没忘记
208
00:12:04,115 --> 00:12:05,316
今天你生日
209
00:12:05,617 --> 00:12:07,252
我们哥儿俩凑的送给你的
210
00:12:07,385 --> 00:12:08,520
谢谢
211
00:12:10,989 --> 00:12:12,690
五块钱，还是两个人凑的
212
00:12:12,824 --> 00:12:14,125
你以为是金币呀？
213
00:12:14,225 --> 00:12:16,361
这可不是五块，是三千万
214
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,696
这期六合彩的头奖是三千万
215
00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,666
我们哥儿三人一人选两个号码 中了分三份
216
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,835
我老大，一号，你呢？
217
00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:26,371
我呀…我是老二，我就二号了
218
00:12:26,671 --> 00:12:28,206
我的腰围二十六寸，二十六
219
00:12:28,339 --> 00:12:30,475
那我的腰围二十八寸，二十八了
220
00:12:30,742 --> 00:12:32,377
还剩两个号码，你来选吧
221
00:12:32,810 --> 00:12:34,345
我排行第三，就三号啦
222
00:12:34,445 --> 00:12:35,079
三号不行
223
00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:35,713
四号啦
224
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,448
我明明是排行第三嘛，为什么？
225
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:40,351
你有所不知了，他下你上还有一个
226
00:12:40,485 --> 00:12:41,853
不过夭折了，所以你排行第四
227
00:12:42,153 --> 00:12:43,188
我可没听说过呀
228
00:12:43,421 --> 00:12:44,556
谁让你老不在家呢？
229
00:12:44,822 --> 00:12:46,357
是呀，你排行第四，就选四号吧
230
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:48,359
还有一个就行，你快点吧
231
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,195
腰围二十七，那就选二十七啦
232
00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:51,863
你哪儿只有二十七寸，最少三十六寸呀
233
00:12:52,163 --> 00:12:52,797
是不是？
234
00:12:53,164 --> 00:12:54,365
什么？我三十六寸！
235
00:12:54,666 --> 00:12:56,634
现在流行那些滑浪装，松身的
236
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:59,437
你屁股应该是有三十六寸
237
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:01,206
我看…就这么写了
238
00:13:01,272 --> 00:13:03,408
一、二、四、二十六、二十八、三十六
239
00:13:03,641 --> 00:13:05,343
你照这个买吧，今天晚上就开奖了
240
00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:06,277
中了后三人平分
241
00:13:06,511 --> 00:13:08,713
你们两个送这么一点点就这么算了？
242
00:13:09,013 --> 00:13:10,481
行了
243
00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,317
你买完了早点回来呀
244
00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:14,519
我今晚要带朋友回家吃饭
245
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:15,620
你早点回来别晚了
246
00:13:15,787 --> 00:13:17,422
什么朋友？男的女的？
247
00:13:17,555 --> 00:13:18,256
女！
248
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,123
女朋友？
249
00:13:19,324 --> 00:13:20,291
你不是“基” 吗？
250
00:13:20,558 --> 00:13:21,693
你怎么这么说他呢？
251
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,328
我说你呀！
252
00:13:23,494 --> 00:13:24,696
臭小子！
253
00:13:30,301 --> 00:13:33,171
小非，她到底来不来呀？
254
00:13:33,371 --> 00:13:36,407
来是一定来的，有时会堵车嘛
255
00:13:55,393 --> 00:13:56,427
小姐你贵姓
256
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,863
蒙娜丽莎Kam
257
00:13:59,163 --> 00:14:00,198
好听、好听
258
00:14:00,431 --> 00:14:02,400
可以吃饭啦，来…
259
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,269
请，请进来吧
260
00:14:04,369 --> 00:14:05,904
吃饭了 谢谢
261
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,275
这是什么菜呀？
262
00:14:10,575 --> 00:14:13,711
Shit!这菜凉了怎么吃啊！
263
00:14:13,945 --> 00:14:16,481
没关系，我拿到厨房再热一热
264
00:14:16,581 --> 00:14:18,550
我们全都火了，还有什么火！
265
00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:20,652
其实我本来可以准时来的
266
00:14:20,952 --> 00:14:23,254
我来的时候呢，有几辆车在后面这么逼我
267
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,290
谁怕谁呢！我就跟他们赛了
268
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:26,958
哈，很轻松就让我赢了一千块
269
00:14:27,292 --> 00:14:29,260
帅哥，你是不是今天生日？
270
00:14:29,427 --> 00:14:32,230
有完没完！ 别以为染了个金毛就是黑社会了
271
00:14:32,363 --> 00:14:35,233
老实告诉你，这里个个都是 杀了你都可以
272
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,302
生日快乐
273
00:14:38,069 --> 00:14:41,539
金小姐真是一表人才，还会讲英文呢
274
00:14:41,639 --> 00:14:44,175
一定是受过高等教育，小姐贵姓
275
00:14:44,309 --> 00:14:46,678
小姓金，尖东车神金慕玲
276
00:14:46,978 --> 00:14:48,847
就是你啊！幸会、幸会
277
00:14:49,681 --> 00:14:51,549
久仰… 谢谢
278
00:14:51,783 --> 00:14:53,985
金小姐，请问你在哪做事？
279
00:14:54,252 --> 00:14:55,486
你问我在哪儿混是吗？
280
00:14:55,787 --> 00:14:56,988
通常我是到处逛
281
00:14:57,255 --> 00:14:59,290
看看能碰上什么“凯子” 什么的
282
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,558
你说什么？
283
00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:03,828
OK，没关系，我知道你们不会喜欢我的了
284
00:15:04,062 --> 00:15:07,265
反正我也约了几个老外在兰桂坊比酒
285
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:07,999
就这样了
286
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:09,667
阿玲，你去哪？
287
00:15:09,901 --> 00:15:12,637
金小姐，幸会幸会…
288
00:15:16,808 --> 00:15:18,343
保重啊！
289
00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:20,712
再见啦！
290
00:15:20,979 --> 00:15:22,614
不是我说你
291
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,550
瞎子都能看得出这金慕玲不是个好人
292
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,285
阿玲是我的初恋
293
00:15:27,452 --> 00:15:30,321
我第一次带回来吃饭你就这样对她
294
00:15:30,522 --> 00:15:33,725
我以后谈恋爱的时候一定有阴影存在的
295
00:15:34,425 --> 00:15:37,228
下一次我不反对就行了吧
296
00:15:37,295 --> 00:15:39,264
那下一个比她还差呢？
297
00:15:40,098 --> 00:15:43,568
还有人比金慕玲更差？ 要是有的话我随你挑
298
00:15:43,635 --> 00:15:44,903
行了吧？
299
00:15:45,136 --> 00:15:46,271
吃饭…
300
00:15:50,642 --> 00:15:51,676
是假的
301
00:15:51,843 --> 00:15:52,844
假的？
302
00:15:53,044 --> 00:15:53,912
给我吧
303
00:15:54,179 --> 00:15:56,714
你这么大就别这么幼稚了
304
00:16:00,318 --> 00:16:02,787
你这个妞不错，比没有好
305
00:16:03,121 --> 00:16:06,257
堂堂中国人染金毛，成什么体统！
306
00:16:06,324 --> 00:16:09,060
说不定，明天我也把它染了
307
00:16:09,127 --> 00:16:11,663
你敢！看我不把你脑袋给揪下来
308
00:16:11,829 --> 00:16:14,365
我想等你睡觉的时候也把你的头发也染了
309
00:16:14,566 --> 00:16:17,368
你试试看，看我到时候把你的脑袋揪下来
310
00:16:17,702 --> 00:16:18,837
你有胆就睡啊，你看我敢不敢染
311
00:16:19,137 --> 00:16:19,938
试试看
312
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:20,738
你不敢睡
313
00:16:20,872 --> 00:16:21,539
试试看
314
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:22,674
我一定把你染了
315
00:16:22,874 --> 00:16:25,844
你们别吵了，六合彩就要开了，来…
316
00:16:38,056 --> 00:16:40,925
搅出的第一个号码是二十六号
317
00:16:41,092 --> 00:16:41,793
中！
318
00:16:42,527 --> 00:16:45,396
第二个号码是二十八号
319
00:16:45,897 --> 00:16:47,098
又中一个！
320
00:16:47,498 --> 00:16:49,300
第三个号码是二号
321
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:50,768
又中了！
322
00:16:51,002 --> 00:16:53,104
第四个号码是四号
323
00:16:53,338 --> 00:16:54,806
中了四个号啦！
324
00:16:57,108 --> 00:16:58,743
第五个号码是一号
325
00:16:58,877 --> 00:17:00,512
好！又中了！
326
00:17:02,380 --> 00:17:04,349
第六个号码是三十六号
327
00:17:04,549 --> 00:17:07,619
哗！全中了！
328
00:17:08,086 --> 00:17:11,389
全中了！这下发财了！
329
00:17:24,102 --> 00:17:26,471
你真旺啊！生日礼物变头奖了！有几千万
330
00:17:26,538 --> 00:17:28,072
快把彩票拿出来，大家开开心
331
00:17:28,406 --> 00:17:29,874
我没买呀
332
00:17:30,208 --> 00:17:31,676
你中头奖呀！
333
00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,478
可是我没买呀
334
00:17:33,645 --> 00:17:36,114
那三千万不是…全没了！
335
00:17:36,414 --> 00:17:38,149
不对，你骗我们！
336
00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:39,951
你笑一笑呀，笑、笑…
337
00:17:40,285 --> 00:17:43,655
我没心情跟你们开玩笑呀！三千多万钞票
338
00:17:44,155 --> 00:17:46,958
我怎么知道我的裤腰是三十六寸！
339
00:17:47,058 --> 00:17:48,860
我怎么知道我真是排行第四呀！
340
00:17:49,027 --> 00:17:51,162
你又没正经跟我说过，啊！
341
00:17:52,497 --> 00:17:55,066
不是你的钱，不入你的袋呀
342
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:59,103
这算什么？我三千多万才给我一百块？
343
00:17:59,404 --> 00:18:01,439
你以为你很了不起呀，老头！
344
00:18:17,589 --> 00:18:20,458
三千多万哪！
345
00:18:20,692 --> 00:18:25,897
三千多万…
346
00:18:40,345 --> 00:18:41,813
臭小子！
347
00:19:07,505 --> 00:19:08,506
没这人，打错了
348
00:19:09,507 --> 00:19:10,074
没有呀
349
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:12,010
没有呀
350
00:19:12,143 --> 00:19:14,546
Linder、Do11y…Lin1in都没有？
351
00:19:14,646 --> 00:19:15,847
告诉你没有呀，你到底找谁？
352
00:19:16,147 --> 00:19:18,716
Lin1in没有，Gigi该有了吧？
353
00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:19,684
我就是呀
354
00:19:19,851 --> 00:19:20,752
出来啊！
355
00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:21,753
你到底是谁呀？
356
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,722
我是老恭，出来啊，保证你有好处！
357
00:19:25,023 --> 00:19:27,725
去！人人都说是我老公的
358
00:19:27,859 --> 00:19:29,527
喂，到底去哪呀？
359
00:19:31,429 --> 00:19:33,831
出来干嘛？突然叫人家出来
360
00:19:33,865 --> 00:19:35,867
提光了我的钱，还说我有好处
361
00:19:36,067 --> 00:19:38,736
我看你的嘴挺严的我才告诉
362
00:19:43,541 --> 00:19:45,043
我中了六合彩！
363
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,012
明天我拿了钱分五万块给你，怎么样？
364
00:19:48,179 --> 00:19:49,214
是真的吗？
365
00:19:49,414 --> 00:19:51,716
你看我这个兜下巴就知道我有福相了
366
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,284
跟我去庆祝吧
367
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,864
这一轮，算我的
368
00:20:06,064 --> 00:20:08,199
好！
369
00:20:10,535 --> 00:20:11,569
喂，阿恭
370
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:12,804
喂！可可姐！
371
00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:15,306
甩了我，原来有别人了
372
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:18,910
小意思，你不是也有个…叫什么哥吗？
373
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,245
我叫阿基
374
00:20:20,578 --> 00:20:21,746
啊…“基” …
375
00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,882
他是我哥哥
376
00:20:24,115 --> 00:20:27,819
你有种！告诉你臭小子，你给我等着吧
377
00:20:27,986 --> 00:20:29,787
哥，我们走
378
00:20:31,556 --> 00:20:33,591
再来一轮，也算我的！
379
00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:42,033
潇洒哥请你喝酒
380
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:45,036
臭小子，请喝酒请上瘾了？
381
00:20:45,403 --> 00:20:47,238
我请你喝！
382
00:20:47,305 --> 00:20:50,808
你喝得了的话…我输你一万
383
00:20:52,577 --> 00:20:54,712
有钱那小子是黑社会
384
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:08,693
潇洒哥，多谢了
385
00:21:08,860 --> 00:21:10,895
潇洒哥，再敬你一杯
386
00:21:11,129 --> 00:21:12,764
不用…
387
00:21:12,964 --> 00:21:16,201
你很有钱？到处请人喝酒
388
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:17,836
有的是！
389
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,904
你喝什么？这轮我的
390
00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:23,041
我们玩大点，十五、二十，五十万一把
391
00:21:23,174 --> 00:21:26,711
再大一点，猜汗毛，一百万一次
392
00:21:26,811 --> 00:21:29,347
就猜你全身的汗毛加在一块 是双数还是单数
393
00:21:29,647 --> 00:21:30,982
你先猜
394
00:21:31,816 --> 00:21:34,152
你非猜到天亮不可
395
00:21:36,154 --> 00:21:38,656
没关系，就怕你身上没毛
396
00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:39,991
拿把钳子过来
397
00:21:40,191 --> 00:21:43,194
不用了，简单点，猜骰子
398
00:21:43,361 --> 00:21:46,264
你知不知道我是出了名的省港澳瞎话王？
399
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:48,967
你知不知道我是出了名的尖东骰子魔？
400
00:21:49,167 --> 00:21:51,803
就按你的意思，一百万一次，不可以耍赖
401
00:21:52,003 --> 00:21:52,971
清桌子
402
00:22:03,481 --> 00:22:04,115
二个一
403
00:22:04,215 --> 00:22:04,883
三个一
404
00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:05,350
四个一
405
00:22:05,650 --> 00:22:06,150
五个一
406
00:22:06,384 --> 00:22:07,218
六个一
407
00:22:07,452 --> 00:22:08,319
开
408
00:22:11,289 --> 00:22:12,757
摞起来不算，老兄
409
00:22:12,824 --> 00:22:13,992
没说不准摞起来呀
410
00:22:14,192 --> 00:22:15,660
这还用说吗？是不是？
411
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:16,327
要不要说呀？
412
00:22:16,694 --> 00:22:18,196
要！当然要！
413
00:22:18,496 --> 00:22:20,999
你这是明着坑我
414
00:22:21,032 --> 00:22:24,202
随你怎么说，反正我没坑你，一百万，开
415
00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:25,770
你不信我有五个一呀
416
00:22:25,870 --> 00:22:26,771
不可能这么巧
417
00:22:26,938 --> 00:22:29,741
各位观众，五个一！
418
00:22:31,509 --> 00:22:33,978
好棒！
419
00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:37,448
不用说都知道是谁赢了吧
420
00:22:37,682 --> 00:22:39,417
用不用说呀？
421
00:22:40,952 --> 00:22:44,822
说话啊！啊？你们都说啊！
422
00:22:47,692 --> 00:22:49,194
这个不是一呀
423
00:22:49,494 --> 00:22:54,465
这边是五，周围都掉颜色了，一在这边呢
424
00:22:55,433 --> 00:22:58,102
老大好棒呀！
425
00:23:00,905 --> 00:23:04,409
有没有搞错呀！这次不算，重新来玩
426
00:23:04,609 --> 00:23:06,177
你说我肯不肯？
427
00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:09,881
那好，你那一万先还给你
428
00:23:09,981 --> 00:23:10,882
你说我肯不肯
429
00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:13,184
你不肯我肯，就这样了
430
00:23:14,986 --> 00:23:17,021
潇洒哥，实不相瞒
431
00:23:17,255 --> 00:23:19,891
一百万对我来说完全不是问题
432
00:23:19,991 --> 00:23:21,359
因为我已经中了六合彩
433
00:23:21,659 --> 00:23:24,162
明天一拿到钱就马上送到你家里
434
00:23:25,163 --> 00:23:28,166
不愧是省港澳瞎话王，没商量！
435
00:23:28,399 --> 00:23:30,468
要不然的话，写借据吧
What if I write a “bon” note?
436
00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:32,036
这不可靠
437
00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:34,706
给身份证，打指模，行了吧？
438
00:23:34,739 --> 00:23:35,473
还是不可靠
439
00:23:35,773 --> 00:23:36,441
那怎么办？
440
00:23:36,774 --> 00:23:40,778
我看拍裸照最可靠了，兄弟
441
00:23:44,182 --> 00:23:48,486
省港澳瞎话王是不是，来呀…
442
00:23:48,586 --> 00:23:55,326
喂，多给点大特写才行，弄大点、弄大点
443
00:23:55,426 --> 00:23:57,428
把袜子也脱了吧
444
00:23:57,595 --> 00:24:00,498
脱一只干什么？全脱了！全脱了！
445
00:24:00,665 --> 00:24:02,233
对！给他摆点姿势
446
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,069
对了，就这样…OK，好！
447
00:24:05,436 --> 00:24:08,339
完了、完了，欠人家上百万了
448
00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:10,108
明天拿了钱再还
449
00:24:10,208 --> 00:24:11,876
可是你被人拍了裸照呀
450
00:24:12,043 --> 00:24:13,845
洗出来不好看再拍啰
451
00:24:14,045 --> 00:24:17,448
完了、完了，这么倒霉，我有不祥之兆呀
452
00:24:18,082 --> 00:24:19,918
会不会那张六合彩…
453
00:24:20,084 --> 00:24:23,821
乌鸦嘴！倒霉透了不会再倒霉了
454
00:24:36,801 --> 00:24:39,838
怎么样？你的头还疼不疼？
455
00:24:40,071 --> 00:24:44,075
有没有搞错！刚撞完车你像没事
456
00:24:44,242 --> 00:24:46,544
化了装打扮得那么漂亮坐在这里
457
00:24:46,811 --> 00:24:47,946
你有没有职业道德呀？
458
00:24:48,179 --> 00:24:52,884
人家就是这样嘛，撞车随便撞上手就算了
459
00:24:53,718 --> 00:24:56,221
怎么戴个头盔呀？
460
00:24:59,190 --> 00:25:00,425
又是你！
461
00:25:00,725 --> 00:25:04,462
是呀，不是说过要让你等着吗？
462
00:25:05,096 --> 00:25:08,833
医生说你的大脑受了震荡，要做扫描
463
00:25:09,033 --> 00:25:10,368
先打支针吧
464
00:25:10,568 --> 00:25:11,569
开点药就行了吧
465
00:25:11,769 --> 00:25:13,505
不行！ 不要
466
00:25:15,740 --> 00:25:17,242
喂，你给我打什么针？
467
00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:18,810
酒精
468
00:25:19,644 --> 00:25:23,381
小心点，警察会来检查你的酒精含量
469
00:25:25,483 --> 00:25:29,220
你这儿子没什么事 他不过是间接性的停经
470
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,156
我想用半斤黄猄、半斤北芪
471
00:25:32,390 --> 00:25:34,526
半斤田七、半斤苹果、半斤橙
472
00:25:34,659 --> 00:25:37,328
两碗水煮剩半桶水
473
00:25:37,495 --> 00:25:39,564
不用喝，倒掉就成了
474
00:25:41,132 --> 00:25:45,136
伯母，你的儿子的X光片已经出来了
475
00:25:45,303 --> 00:25:48,506
因为他太想做医生了，现在是精神分裂
476
00:25:48,673 --> 00:25:50,842
他只会说自己是医生
477
00:25:50,909 --> 00:25:52,644
我们先去给他办住院手续吧
478
00:25:53,044 --> 00:25:54,012
谢谢医生
479
00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:01,419
坏了！
480
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,055
忘记查病房了
481
00:26:06,991 --> 00:26:11,062
舒不舒服呀先生？擦点油吧
482
00:26:11,329 --> 00:26:13,464
你不会醉成这样吧？
483
00:26:13,731 --> 00:26:17,235
过不过瘾呢？爽呆了吧？
484
00:26:18,069 --> 00:26:19,571
是谁呀？
485
00:26:24,008 --> 00:26:26,411
医生，他的X光片出来了没有？
486
00:26:26,644 --> 00:26:28,213
先生，担不担呀？
487
00:26:28,446 --> 00:26:29,414
担什么？
488
00:26:29,581 --> 00:26:32,417
担不担心，警察一会儿来查房呀？
489
00:26:33,585 --> 00:26:35,920
小心子宫下坠
490
00:26:38,723 --> 00:26:41,092
这张片子出来了，快去见医生吧
491
00:26:41,125 --> 00:26:43,962
见你个鬼！你以为我真傻吗？快点去拿钱
492
00:26:44,865 --> 00:26:47,000
怎么样？ 来…
493
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:48,968
在这里面？看看…
494
00:26:50,268 --> 00:26:51,670
没有啊！
495
00:26:53,974 --> 00:26:55,710
罐子怎么多了？为什么？
496
00:26:58,877 --> 00:27:00,879
是不是放在大盒子里呀？
497
00:27:01,079 --> 00:27:03,648
我明明藏在这个罐子里，就一个罐子嘛
498
00:27:03,715 --> 00:27:05,450
怎么会…
499
00:27:05,550 --> 00:27:06,451
没有呀
500
00:27:06,618 --> 00:27:10,655
有没有搞错！不可能的！
501
00:27:12,057 --> 00:27:13,058
怎么会这样啊？
502
00:27:13,258 --> 00:27:15,093
大哥，好像可以了吧
503
00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:17,162
还是把实话告诉老恭吧
504
00:27:17,295 --> 00:27:18,697
这个臭小子无情无义
505
00:27:18,764 --> 00:27:20,165
说什么也要和他玩到底
506
00:27:20,432 --> 00:27:21,933
放在哪里了？ 怎么会这样呢？
507
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,202
刚才你撞伤了头，会不会是失忆了？
508
00:27:24,369 --> 00:27:26,605
找到了！找到了…
509
00:27:26,805 --> 00:27:28,807
怎么样？ 是真的？
510
00:27:29,808 --> 00:27:31,643
怎么会多了这么多罐子？ 快点
511
00:27:33,645 --> 00:27:35,447
先生，真的没中
512
00:27:35,580 --> 00:27:38,483
不会吧，再查查好吗？
513
00:27:38,684 --> 00:27:40,519
我已经查了十几次了
514
00:27:40,686 --> 00:27:42,254
这一期没有这六个号码
515
00:27:42,554 --> 00:27:45,724
有没有搞错呀！我是看着电视对的！
516
00:27:45,924 --> 00:27:48,727
你就是对着夏春秋也没用，是没有嘛
517
00:27:48,927 --> 00:27:51,129
我真是看着夏春秋对的，看着电视…
518
00:27:51,396 --> 00:27:52,798
天天都有神经病来
519
00:27:52,931 --> 00:27:55,233
如果个个都说中了那我不是要忙死
520
00:27:55,467 --> 00:27:57,469
有没有那么多神经病呀！
521
00:27:57,669 --> 00:28:00,539
我明明中了六合彩头奖，为什么不给我钱
522
00:28:00,672 --> 00:28:02,908
给我钱呀！给我钱！
523
00:28:02,974 --> 00:28:05,877
我中了头奖呀！给我钱呀
524
00:28:06,311 --> 00:28:07,813
那你都看到了吧？
525
00:28:07,846 --> 00:28:09,848
我真是看着夏春秋…
526
00:28:10,015 --> 00:28:12,584
他简直就像面对面地告诉我，我中了！
527
00:28:12,784 --> 00:28:14,686
夏春秋早就不报奖了
528
00:28:14,820 --> 00:28:17,155
夏春秋不报奖了吗？那现在是谁报呀？
529
00:28:17,389 --> 00:28:19,057
保安！
530
00:28:19,324 --> 00:28:20,726
你去问保安吧
531
00:28:20,859 --> 00:28:22,861
原来现在夏春秋不报了 他早就不报了
532
00:28:23,028 --> 00:28:23,929
那现在是谁报呀？
533
00:28:24,062 --> 00:28:24,796
吴君如…
534
00:28:24,863 --> 00:28:26,198
出去、出去…
535
00:28:28,633 --> 00:28:29,801
走…
536
00:28:29,968 --> 00:28:30,602
怎么样？
537
00:28:30,635 --> 00:28:33,038
有事慢慢讲…
538
00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:35,841
他是我们的弟弟，我们跟他开个玩笑而已
539
00:28:35,974 --> 00:28:37,175
没事，开个玩笑而已
540
00:28:37,442 --> 00:28:39,011
不好意思 对不起
541
00:28:39,111 --> 00:28:40,679
玩玩 玩玩？
542
00:28:40,812 --> 00:28:43,815
是…是生日礼物，生日快乐嘛
543
00:28:43,982 --> 00:28:45,150
开玩笑？
544
00:28:45,183 --> 00:28:46,551
你受得住这种刺激的
545
00:28:46,651 --> 00:28:47,319
那我怎么办？
546
00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:50,088
小玩笑嘛 那怎么办？
547
00:28:53,425 --> 00:28:55,594
小弟，你没什么事吧？
548
00:28:55,627 --> 00:28:58,930
会不会他刚才撞车时撞坏了…
549
00:28:59,131 --> 00:29:01,133
他刚才撞过车呀？
550
00:29:01,299 --> 00:29:02,868
老恭，你没事吧？
551
00:29:03,001 --> 00:29:06,538
臭小子，算你有信用
552
00:29:06,638 --> 00:29:08,974
来这里领奖是吧，还钱哪！
553
00:29:09,775 --> 00:29:11,777
让开，让…
554
00:29:26,992 --> 00:29:29,728
病人的X光显示很正常
555
00:29:29,895 --> 00:29:31,129
那就是没事
556
00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:33,131
但是他的脑部扫描就很奇怪
557
00:29:33,231 --> 00:29:36,068
每当我提到钱啦、女人啦、六合彩呀
558
00:29:36,201 --> 00:29:38,103
他的脑部就有很奇怪的反应
559
00:29:38,270 --> 00:29:40,005
这些对他来说才算正常
560
00:29:40,105 --> 00:29:42,341
不行，我要等他醒过来再查一查
561
00:29:42,607 --> 00:29:44,109
我希望他不会有神经病
562
00:29:44,343 --> 00:29:47,346
大哥，我们这次玩笑开得太大了吧
563
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,749
老恭，哥哥这次真的很对不起你
564
00:29:50,849 --> 00:29:53,852
不过你放心，我一定找人照顾你下半辈子
565
00:29:55,754 --> 00:30:02,094
不关我事，我等他醒了后还我五千块钱呀
566
00:30:02,394 --> 00:30:05,397
他欠你钱吗？老婆，你替他还吧
567
00:30:07,499 --> 00:30:08,734
四千五行不行呀？
568
00:30:08,767 --> 00:30:11,269
当然不行啦！我借五千给他嘛
569
00:30:14,740 --> 00:30:18,143
谢谢你，我走了，拜拜
570
00:30:20,345 --> 00:30:22,180
那他欠我的呢
571
00:30:22,614 --> 00:30:26,118
你是哪位？是不是我儿子也欠你的钱？
572
00:30:26,418 --> 00:30:28,820
很少，一百万
573
00:30:28,887 --> 00:30:29,955
什么！
574
00:30:30,122 --> 00:30:31,857
喂，你可别趁火打劫呀
575
00:30:35,060 --> 00:30:36,395
借据在这
576
00:30:36,962 --> 00:30:39,631
他现在昏迷了，等他清醒了再说吧
577
00:30:39,731 --> 00:30:42,734
行，那我就把这些照片
578
00:30:42,868 --> 00:30:46,271
送到报馆、杂志什么的去做封面
579
00:30:49,508 --> 00:30:51,677
医生查房
580
00:30:51,710 --> 00:30:53,945
“小弟弟” 、 “小弟弟” …
“Little brother” ...
581
00:30:53,979 --> 00:30:54,846
干什么你？
582
00:30:55,047 --> 00:30:56,214
对不起、对不起呀
583
00:30:56,481 --> 00:30:58,050
干什么你？ 对不起，他是有病的
584
00:30:58,083 --> 00:31:01,253
糟了，难道这次真要装成小弟弟才行
Shit, must I disguise as “Dick” in order to escape?
585
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,189
他脑筋有病，不好意思…
586
00:31:04,956 --> 00:31:08,694
喂，打算怎么办？欠我的钱到底还不还？
587
00:31:09,728 --> 00:31:10,896
老恭！老恭…
588
00:31:11,129 --> 00:31:12,464
小叔，你怎么了？
589
00:31:13,765 --> 00:31:14,766
现在告诉你们所有人
590
00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:16,735
未满十六岁身穿校服进游戏机店
591
00:31:16,902 --> 00:31:21,073
双手放在头上面，双脚放在嘴里
592
00:31:22,107 --> 00:31:25,110
别逼我开枪…
593
00:31:26,411 --> 00:31:28,246
你把借据都吃了，那我怎么办？
594
00:31:28,347 --> 00:31:30,849
别让你弟弟出丑，快写张支票给他吧
595
00:31:30,882 --> 00:31:34,720
小叔别玩了，小叔… 别过来…
596
00:31:36,688 --> 00:31:38,023
谢谢
597
00:31:39,524 --> 00:31:41,760
够了…死了…
598
00:31:41,793 --> 00:31:43,362
别闹了…
599
00:31:43,595 --> 00:31:45,163
打针
600
00:31:46,732 --> 00:31:49,735
你嚷什么呀！你嚷什么呀！
601
00:31:50,535 --> 00:31:53,372
又没有扎到你，扎到我了
602
00:31:54,139 --> 00:31:55,207
老公！
603
00:31:57,075 --> 00:31:58,477
我喜欢，我傻了嘛
604
00:32:01,546 --> 00:32:04,049
刘律师 来啦
605
00:32:08,453 --> 00:32:10,455
刘律师…
606
00:32:10,689 --> 00:32:14,426
我的小儿子因为意外，脑子受了伤
607
00:32:14,559 --> 00:32:19,131
我怕他以后不能自己照顾自己
608
00:32:19,197 --> 00:32:22,267
所以我想给他成立一个基金会
609
00:32:22,534 --> 00:32:26,204
那么…以后我可以不用担心了
610
00:32:26,438 --> 00:32:29,941
我想把这房子换成他的名字
611
00:32:30,042 --> 00:32:33,445
我银行的七百万和两间店 也想转给我弟弟
612
00:32:33,679 --> 00:32:36,515
我把我所有的奖学金全送给我弟弟
613
00:32:36,615 --> 00:32:38,950
还有我的嫁妆也全给他
614
00:32:38,984 --> 00:32:42,054
这样，这些都加起来的话也有两千多万
615
00:32:42,220 --> 00:32:44,790
应该够你小儿子下半辈子用了
616
00:32:44,923 --> 00:32:45,824
不过呢
617
00:32:45,957 --> 00:32:49,027
基金会是要一段时间来办理这些事情的
618
00:32:49,261 --> 00:32:52,831
万一他要是好了，那怎么办？
619
00:32:52,931 --> 00:32:55,100
他要是好了的话就是正常了
620
00:32:55,267 --> 00:32:57,502
正常的就应该自力更生了
621
00:32:57,669 --> 00:33:00,072
有了钱他就游手好闲，没有好处
622
00:33:00,138 --> 00:33:03,875
如果是这样，我还是留着钱让自己去念书
623
00:33:10,482 --> 00:33:12,384
打针
624
00:33:13,919 --> 00:33:16,254
快帮我抓住那病人，他是神经病呀！
625
00:33:16,655 --> 00:33:18,156
喂！打针呀！
626
00:33:35,007 --> 00:33:37,509
Pau1ine，我是老恭
627
00:33:37,776 --> 00:33:39,845
今晚上出来我们再喝两杯呀
628
00:33:39,878 --> 00:33:42,280
再喝，听说你神经病啦？
629
00:33:42,748 --> 00:33:45,150
神经病不是更好吗？
630
00:33:45,183 --> 00:33:48,020
好个屁！我随时会被你砍几刀！神经病！
631
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,621
喂… 老恭
632
00:33:50,422 --> 00:33:51,156
糟了！
633
00:33:51,890 --> 00:33:53,291
能进来吗？
634
00:33:54,226 --> 00:33:57,295
还没睡？你知不知道阿B大肚子了
635
00:33:57,462 --> 00:33:59,865
B嫂叫他打掉孩子
636
00:33:59,965 --> 00:34:02,968
有人说这孩子是李保田的
637
00:34:03,201 --> 00:34:05,604
但医院证明孩子是刘罗锅的
638
00:34:05,804 --> 00:34:07,539
他病得很严重啊
639
00:34:07,673 --> 00:34:08,907
不知道有没有得救呀？
640
00:34:08,974 --> 00:34:11,376
有得救！打一针就行了
641
00:34:11,677 --> 00:34:13,178
先别打针，等我走了再打
642
00:34:13,412 --> 00:34:14,312
帮忙！
643
00:34:15,213 --> 00:34:16,048
先听我说
644
00:34:16,181 --> 00:34:18,417
那个刘罗锅说绝不承认那个私生子
645
00:34:26,625 --> 00:34:28,627
怎么我这脚会这么疼呀？
646
00:34:40,539 --> 00:34:41,440
那边
647
00:34:43,309 --> 00:34:46,011
怎么今天这么好，肯陪我来长洲？
648
00:34:46,111 --> 00:34:48,113
没什么，想跟你学学做生意
649
00:34:48,980 --> 00:34:51,000
好兄弟！
650
00:34:51,250 --> 00:34:51,700
是不是那边？
651
00:34:51,810 --> 00:34:52,400
就那边
652
00:35:05,965 --> 00:35:06,799
老板
653
00:35:06,966 --> 00:35:07,967
要搞多久呀？
654
00:35:08,133 --> 00:35:09,969
快了，再过两个礼拜就好了
655
00:35:10,703 --> 00:35:12,938
干嘛约在这种地方？
656
00:35:13,138 --> 00:35:15,541
喂，老非！
657
00:35:15,574 --> 00:35:17,076
喂，He11o!
658
00:35:17,443 --> 00:35:19,678
咦！老良也在这？
659
00:35:19,845 --> 00:35:22,414
臭小子，原来到长洲会佳人来了
660
00:35:22,515 --> 00:35:25,017
要不咱们去试试那边的“山东烧鸡” 吧
661
00:35:25,317 --> 00:35:26,218
好，走吧…
662
00:35:26,318 --> 00:35:27,152
大哥，你呢？
663
00:35:27,319 --> 00:35:28,153
我不去了
664
00:35:28,254 --> 00:35:29,755
你们去吧，我要看着他们装修
665
00:35:29,822 --> 00:35:31,824
快走吧，我饿坏了不要紧
666
00:35:31,991 --> 00:35:33,559
我是怕把你也给饿坏了
667
00:35:39,665 --> 00:35:41,000
是这里
668
00:35:41,734 --> 00:35:43,235
二位，请坐
669
00:35:43,502 --> 00:35:45,004
小倩，有客人哪！
670
00:35:48,607 --> 00:35:52,511
我的天！这么脏啊！
671
00:35:55,915 --> 00:35:59,084
你再这么擦就会擦出火星来了
672
00:35:59,351 --> 00:36:00,920
脏死了！
673
00:36:01,086 --> 00:36:03,656
是旧，不是脏
674
00:36:04,423 --> 00:36:06,525
先生、小姐吃点什么？
675
00:36:06,559 --> 00:36:08,060
请问，你这里有什么拿手货？
676
00:36:08,327 --> 00:36:10,729
“山东烧鸡” ，我们的招牌货
677
00:36:10,796 --> 00:36:12,631
这种鬼地方会有招牌货？
678
00:36:12,731 --> 00:36:16,468
小姐，我们的鸡全部是用新鲜鸡
679
00:36:16,602 --> 00:36:18,504
先蒸后过油
680
00:36:18,737 --> 00:36:22,074
是长洲最出名的，很多人专门坐船来吃呢
681
00:36:22,274 --> 00:36:23,609
人？
682
00:36:23,843 --> 00:36:25,678
没看见啊
683
00:36:26,979 --> 00:36:28,881
对不起，她胡说呢
684
00:36:28,981 --> 00:36:31,483
先给我来两只“山东烧鸡” ，谢谢
685
00:36:32,785 --> 00:36:34,186
你到底是怎么搞的！
686
00:36:34,453 --> 00:36:37,122
我们在这儿这么久了，从来都没欠过租钱
687
00:36:37,223 --> 00:36:40,059
现在不就差几个月嘛，你就要赶我搬？
688
00:36:40,159 --> 00:36:41,994
你太没人情味了吧！
689
00:36:42,194 --> 00:36:44,029
对面那间老外炸鸡店
690
00:36:44,163 --> 00:36:46,232
愿出高价钱租这里扩充用
691
00:36:46,498 --> 00:36:48,834
还答应帮你们还欠了几个月的租钱
692
00:36:49,068 --> 00:36:50,970
再多给一万块的顶手费
693
00:36:51,136 --> 00:36:52,872
这很上算呢，知不知道？
694
00:36:53,105 --> 00:36:54,006
你在说什么？
695
00:36:54,173 --> 00:36:55,174
告诉你
696
00:36:55,341 --> 00:36:58,077
老外那店又不健康又难吃，还没文化
697
00:36:58,210 --> 00:37:00,546
我们这老字号让给他，休想！
698
00:37:00,613 --> 00:37:01,514
我不是来求你们的
699
00:37:01,714 --> 00:37:03,282
我是来通知你们一个月的期限
700
00:37:03,616 --> 00:37:07,119
到时候如果你们不交租的话，我封店！
701
00:37:07,419 --> 00:37:08,754
那欠多少，你说！
702
00:37:08,787 --> 00:37:10,022
你给我听清楚
703
00:37:10,256 --> 00:37:13,592
三个月欠租，两个月预缴，总共五万
704
00:37:13,826 --> 00:37:16,161
预缴！为什么要预缴？
705
00:37:16,462 --> 00:37:17,696
你们信用不好
706
00:37:17,897 --> 00:37:18,797
你说什么！
707
00:37:19,064 --> 00:37:20,065
斯文点、斯文点…
708
00:37:20,266 --> 00:37:22,334
生意不好，不是信用不好
709
00:37:22,501 --> 00:37:25,337
你再胡说八道，小心我把你宰了做烧鸡！
710
00:37:25,404 --> 00:37:28,240
斯文点，你把手先松开吧
711
00:37:28,307 --> 00:37:32,811
总之我到时候一定来收钱，我准会来的
712
00:37:51,096 --> 00:37:53,332
我可不可以给你五万块？
713
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:55,901
我可以给你五巴掌
714
00:37:55,935 --> 00:37:57,303
你千万别误会
715
00:37:57,636 --> 00:38:00,372
因为我刚才看见你这间店有点困难
716
00:38:00,673 --> 00:38:05,177
要是你可以做一会儿我的女朋友…
717
00:38:05,377 --> 00:38:07,112
给你五万块做酬劳
718
00:38:07,179 --> 00:38:09,248
就算是你帮帮我，求求你了
719
00:38:09,648 --> 00:38:11,383
你不是有女朋友吗？
720
00:38:15,421 --> 00:38:17,323
麻烦你，给我三份报纸
721
00:38:17,456 --> 00:38:19,692
老太太，你不是喜欢摄影的吗？
722
00:38:19,725 --> 00:38:20,359
是呀
723
00:38:20,693 --> 00:38:21,927
有一个名摄影师自己出了一本书
724
00:38:22,161 --> 00:38:23,162
还有小说送呢
725
00:38:23,329 --> 00:38:24,730
是吗？
726
00:38:24,930 --> 00:38:25,764
那要多少钱一本？
727
00:38:25,898 --> 00:38:27,132
三十块钱一本
728
00:39:24,623 --> 00:39:26,792
大嫂！
729
00:39:30,629 --> 00:39:33,465
刚才讲的那个故事好不好听？
730
00:39:33,666 --> 00:39:36,836
那个故事叫“廊桥遗蒙”
731
00:39:38,370 --> 00:39:42,274
不好意思，小叔，我帮你擦干净
732
00:39:43,609 --> 00:39:46,445
像这种书分明是教女人红杏出墙嘛
733
00:39:46,512 --> 00:39:49,415
适合我们看，不适合你看呀，真是的
734
00:39:50,282 --> 00:39:52,017
小叔你不知道
735
00:39:52,184 --> 00:39:55,187
作为一个专业的家庭主妇真是闷死了
736
00:39:55,321 --> 00:39:57,223
不是我说你呀
737
00:39:57,356 --> 00:40:01,093
有时去做一做美容，豁了的牙去补一补
738
00:40:01,260 --> 00:40:02,161
一副黄脸婆像
739
00:40:02,394 --> 00:40:04,897
那不是逼我大哥去娶小老婆吗
740
00:40:05,264 --> 00:40:08,767
小叔啊，你不是神经病了吗？
741
00:40:08,801 --> 00:40:10,803
为什么你说出的话那么正常啊！
742
00:40:11,036 --> 00:40:12,204
是吗！
743
00:40:12,471 --> 00:40:14,373
不好意思，我不记得我神经病了
744
00:40:14,573 --> 00:40:16,742
尿裤子了！
745
00:40:21,146 --> 00:40:23,315
我的脸是不是真的很黄？
746
00:40:23,482 --> 00:40:25,885
有点黄颜色才好看嘛
747
00:40:25,918 --> 00:40:28,053
贤淑你看看，这漂不漂亮啊
748
00:40:28,254 --> 00:40:29,922
漂亮
749
00:40:29,989 --> 00:40:31,991
这叫做“五福临门” ，很吉祥的
750
00:40:32,191 --> 00:40:33,359
是吗？
751
00:40:33,559 --> 00:40:36,729
对了，小非今晚又带新女朋友回来吃饭
752
00:40:36,762 --> 00:40:37,496
又得麻烦你了
753
00:40:37,830 --> 00:40:39,164
应该的，应该的
754
00:40:39,431 --> 00:40:42,334
对了，不知道小非的新女朋友 会是什么样的
755
00:40:42,468 --> 00:40:44,870
怎么也不比那金慕玲差吧
756
00:41:10,663 --> 00:41:14,400
白球打失扣四度，爸爸有四度
757
00:41:28,180 --> 00:41:30,516
这算什么！有球不打故意挡我的球
758
00:41:30,749 --> 00:41:32,585
是不是缺钱花呀？
759
00:41:32,785 --> 00:41:34,119
拿去用吧
760
00:41:34,420 --> 00:41:36,155
这叫技术
761
00:41:36,455 --> 00:41:38,791
幸好我有绝招
762
00:41:41,193 --> 00:41:43,929
这个球有黄啊！老头，怎么算？
763
00:41:44,063 --> 00:41:46,065
贤淑，换个梨给他
764
00:41:58,110 --> 00:41:59,512
爸
765
00:42:00,546 --> 00:42:03,616
这个是我在长洲一见钟情的女朋友叫小倩
766
00:42:03,849 --> 00:42:05,017
伯父好！
767
00:42:05,184 --> 00:42:08,087
这个是我弟弟，那个是我大嫂
768
00:42:08,254 --> 00:42:09,922
先到客厅去坐一会儿吧
769
00:42:13,325 --> 00:42:14,994
儿子，一块过去坐吧
770
00:42:15,127 --> 00:42:16,862
我想在这多玩会儿把这杆打完
771
00:42:16,962 --> 00:42:18,197
你过去招呼客人吧
772
00:42:18,397 --> 00:42:19,632
对客人要客气点
773
00:42:29,675 --> 00:42:33,913
小倩姑娘 听说你在长洲开烧鸡铺是不是？
774
00:42:33,946 --> 00:42:35,981
是呀，开了很多年了
775
00:42:36,615 --> 00:42:38,617
你家里有多少人呢？
776
00:42:38,817 --> 00:42:41,554
是哪儿人呢？来香港多久了？
777
00:42:41,687 --> 00:42:43,422
就我和我妈两个人
778
00:42:43,489 --> 00:42:45,991
我们是北京人，来香港已经七年了
779
00:42:46,091 --> 00:42:49,161
那…你爸爸呢？他在不在这？
780
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:04,243
大胆奴才！竟敢口出狂言！混蛋！
781
00:43:04,376 --> 00:43:06,445
小非，你女朋友干什么？
782
00:43:06,779 --> 00:43:09,348
她现在不是我女朋友，她是包公
783
00:43:09,481 --> 00:43:12,151
来人哪！狗头铡侍候！
784
00:43:12,284 --> 00:43:14,520
怎么无缘无故变包公了？
785
00:43:15,688 --> 00:43:18,190
全部推出去斩首！
786
00:43:18,924 --> 00:43:19,658
老爸！
787
00:43:19,959 --> 00:43:22,127
爸爸，你没事吧？
788
00:43:22,761 --> 00:43:25,331
全部推出去斩了！
789
00:43:27,066 --> 00:43:28,400
兰花啊！
790
00:43:39,378 --> 00:43:42,281
伯父，我们说到哪儿？
791
00:43:42,915 --> 00:43:46,652
我告诉你，你们家有点“那个”
792
00:43:46,919 --> 00:43:48,654
对了，小倩在长洲是出了名的灵童
793
00:43:49,021 --> 00:43:51,423
我猜她是刚才看到我们家里有点不干净
794
00:43:51,690 --> 00:43:53,192
帮我们赶走了
795
00:43:53,225 --> 00:43:56,295
老爸…你就封个红包给人家吧
796
00:43:59,331 --> 00:44:01,667
就给她五千块凑合了
797
00:44:03,269 --> 00:44:04,503
大吉大利
798
00:44:04,737 --> 00:44:05,638
大吉大利
799
00:44:05,804 --> 00:44:07,706
收下吧，先当是首期
800
00:44:12,077 --> 00:44:14,146
你们先坐一会儿
801
00:44:16,182 --> 00:44:17,583
老恭，你在那干什么？
802
00:44:17,850 --> 00:44:19,351
我不是老恭
803
00:44:19,385 --> 00:44:20,386
那你是哪位？
804
00:44:20,553 --> 00:44:23,289
我跳成这样你都猜不出来
805
00:44:24,990 --> 00:44:26,559
这样知道了吧
806
00:44:26,892 --> 00:44:28,294
你想怎么样？
807
00:44:29,395 --> 00:44:34,066
钱拿来！不能比那个女包公少！
808
00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:36,168
快点
809
00:44:36,335 --> 00:44:38,504
快点…
810
00:44:38,671 --> 00:44:39,738
你别玩了行不行？
811
00:44:39,972 --> 00:44:42,308
我们已经够烦的了，你还在这里瞎捣乱！
812
00:44:42,508 --> 00:44:44,743
你别以为你是神经病就了不起了
813
00:44:44,977 --> 00:44:46,212
你信不信我给你一巴掌？
814
00:45:07,199 --> 00:45:10,369
你这回满意了吧？舒服了吧？
815
00:45:11,570 --> 00:45:14,240
那就乖乖的…去睡吧
816
00:45:15,107 --> 00:45:16,675
老公，刚才发生什么事了？
817
00:45:17,009 --> 00:45:19,512
没事，打了我几拳，我给了他几千块嘛
818
00:45:20,613 --> 00:45:21,280
小非
819
00:45:21,413 --> 00:45:22,147
大哥
820
00:45:22,214 --> 00:45:23,282
还不送你女朋友回长洲？
821
00:45:23,516 --> 00:45:25,017
这么晚了，哪还有船呀？
822
00:45:25,084 --> 00:45:26,585
老爸好像不太喜欢她
823
00:45:26,852 --> 00:45:29,522
是不是真的，那我有得挑了
824
00:45:31,190 --> 00:45:33,425
是呀，爸爸真的不太喜欢那个女的
825
00:45:33,659 --> 00:45:35,327
还叫我盯紧点她呢
826
00:45:35,394 --> 00:45:37,129
那你还不快点盯住她？
827
00:45:46,205 --> 00:45:48,107
这儿好闷哪
828
00:45:48,307 --> 00:45:50,209
我开一下抽气机
829
00:45:57,550 --> 00:46:00,119
你刚才表演得真不错
830
00:46:00,219 --> 00:46:02,054
你弟弟演得更好
831
00:46:02,121 --> 00:46:06,625
我是假上身，他好像是真的
832
00:46:06,859 --> 00:46:09,361
明天晚上我们家会请朋友来吃饭
833
00:46:09,461 --> 00:46:11,630
麻烦你再加把劲做足点
834
00:46:11,764 --> 00:46:13,666
让我老爸更加讨厌你
835
00:46:13,966 --> 00:46:16,302
那么我就可以和金慕玲在一起了
836
00:46:16,368 --> 00:46:18,604
你的五万块也就轻易到手了
837
00:46:18,771 --> 00:46:20,606
金慕玲什么样的？
838
00:46:20,706 --> 00:46:22,708
漂亮…
839
00:46:22,942 --> 00:46:24,844
但又不是十分漂亮
840
00:46:25,010 --> 00:46:25,845
人品呢？
841
00:46:26,045 --> 00:46:27,379
好啊
842
00:46:27,546 --> 00:46:29,615
但又不是最好的
843
00:46:29,815 --> 00:46:30,816
性格呢？
844
00:46:30,950 --> 00:46:32,785
也不太合得来的
845
00:46:32,918 --> 00:46:34,153
那你喜欢她什么劲
846
00:46:34,220 --> 00:46:35,454
因为她是我的初恋
847
00:46:35,855 --> 00:46:39,258
你如果遇见第二个，你会怎么样？
848
00:46:41,193 --> 00:46:43,262
这么复杂的事情，我不会处理
849
00:46:44,029 --> 00:46:47,433
对了，明天我约了阿玲去浅水湾
850
00:46:47,533 --> 00:46:48,868
那么我就要找一个借口
851
00:46:49,068 --> 00:46:51,470
带你和老恭出去来瞒住老爸
852
00:46:52,137 --> 00:46:53,205
啊？那我呢？
853
00:46:53,339 --> 00:46:54,573
你帮我看着老恭呀
854
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:56,909
我和阿玲会离开一会儿
855
00:46:58,744 --> 00:47:00,746
好了，太晚了，不妨碍你休息了
856
00:47:00,913 --> 00:47:04,650
晚上你睡床，我睡地下就行了
857
00:47:06,285 --> 00:47:08,454
其实是他们两个合起来骗我们
858
00:47:08,654 --> 00:47:10,890
我们可别信他们俩
859
00:47:22,268 --> 00:47:28,674
贤淑，老实说你那个样是…有点怪
860
00:47:28,941 --> 00:47:29,942
我知道
861
00:47:30,142 --> 00:47:32,378
装饰一下门面也好
862
00:47:32,545 --> 00:47:33,712
我会的，爸爸
863
00:47:36,115 --> 00:47:39,852
还有…补补那个牙吧
864
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:44,490
下个礼拜就是大减价，我一定去补
865
00:47:46,792 --> 00:47:48,294
喂，老恭啊
866
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,429
看你被关在家里这么久，带你出来兜兜风
867
00:47:50,596 --> 00:47:52,331
你先睡一会儿吧
868
00:47:52,398 --> 00:47:54,567
泡妞就说泡妞吧你！
869
00:47:55,100 --> 00:47:57,269
他有时候清醒的
870
00:47:59,071 --> 00:47:59,905
停车！停车…
871
00:48:00,039 --> 00:48:00,873
干什么？
872
00:48:01,006 --> 00:48:02,675
孕妇呀，就要生了！
873
00:48:02,741 --> 00:48:03,742
停车呀！
874
00:48:03,909 --> 00:48:05,744
不能停车，要赶时间呀
875
00:48:06,078 --> 00:48:07,646
你怎么这么没同情心呀？
876
00:48:07,780 --> 00:48:10,516
阿玲最恨人迟到了，不能停车！
877
00:48:11,150 --> 00:48:13,886
禽兽不如啊！
878
00:48:14,253 --> 00:48:16,589
你这么做会恶有恶报的！
879
00:48:16,789 --> 00:48:19,525
丧尽天良啊！
880
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,996
报应来了吧
881
00:48:56,262 --> 00:48:59,832
这算什么世界！香港人真是没有同情心
882
00:49:00,165 --> 00:49:01,834
让我来吧！
883
00:49:09,575 --> 00:49:12,645
香港人真是没有同情心呀
884
00:49:13,779 --> 00:49:17,516
你怎么带这么多假脚上街我都不知道呀？
885
00:49:17,616 --> 00:49:19,618
还有几只呢
886
00:49:22,054 --> 00:49:23,455
质量不错
887
00:49:23,722 --> 00:49:25,558
喂，阿玲啊
888
00:49:25,891 --> 00:49:28,961
我的车坏了，轮子没气了
889
00:49:29,161 --> 00:49:30,729
四个轮子都没气了？
890
00:49:30,896 --> 00:49:32,798
不是，就一个
891
00:49:33,465 --> 00:49:35,367
拜拜，走
892
00:49:35,568 --> 00:49:37,570
阿玲！阿玲！
893
00:49:45,711 --> 00:49:47,279
你们两个怎么这时候才来？
894
00:49:47,446 --> 00:49:48,614
丁先生丁太太都快到了
895
00:49:48,881 --> 00:49:50,382
用不着这么隆重嘛
896
00:49:50,449 --> 00:49:51,450
你们听着
897
00:49:51,650 --> 00:49:52,551
我当年到香港
898
00:49:52,718 --> 00:49:54,720
全靠他爸借我五百块钱做生意
899
00:49:54,954 --> 00:49:56,455
我就念这点情
900
00:49:56,488 --> 00:49:58,557
这两个是很臭嘴巴
901
00:49:58,791 --> 00:50:00,626
可是你们要忍着点，忍着点呀
902
00:50:00,793 --> 00:50:02,795
赶快去洗个脸
903
00:50:03,696 --> 00:50:05,764
来，爸爸给你洗个澡
904
00:50:11,670 --> 00:50:13,006
有没有人哪？…
905
00:50:13,106 --> 00:50:14,173
九哥…
906
00:50:14,340 --> 00:50:15,575
九嫂，好久不见了
907
00:50:15,775 --> 00:50:17,010
你好、你好…
908
00:50:17,076 --> 00:50:18,411
你还没死呀？
909
00:50:18,578 --> 00:50:20,580
坐…里面坐 好
910
00:50:23,149 --> 00:50:25,218
古里古怪的这房子
911
00:50:25,418 --> 00:50:26,252
还过得去呀
912
00:50:26,419 --> 00:50:27,987
坐、坐，别客气
913
00:50:28,187 --> 00:50:30,423
对了，这种腊肠是英国制造的
914
00:50:30,623 --> 00:50:33,626
最适合胆固醇高的想慢性自杀的人
915
00:50:33,793 --> 00:50:35,194
你自己考虑吧
916
00:50:35,294 --> 00:50:37,030
谢谢、谢谢
917
00:50:43,336 --> 00:50:46,239
这个是我媳妇贤淑
918
00:50:46,439 --> 00:50:47,607
叫丁先生、丁太太
919
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,575
丁先生、丁太太你们好
920
00:50:50,610 --> 00:50:52,011
她老公呢？
921
00:50:52,045 --> 00:50:53,446
到长洲去了
922
00:50:53,780 --> 00:50:55,515
没太没小的！
923
00:50:55,615 --> 00:50:58,518
明知道家里的长辈来吃饭都不陪着
924
00:50:58,785 --> 00:51:00,853
什么去长洲了？
925
00:51:00,887 --> 00:51:03,089
一定是“浪” 去了！
926
00:51:03,122 --> 00:51:05,191
香港现在最兴包二奶的
927
00:51:05,391 --> 00:51:09,228
尤其是老对着豁牙的黄脸婆
928
00:51:13,266 --> 00:51:15,101
这是我二儿子叫小非
929
00:51:15,168 --> 00:51:16,169
叫丁先生、丁太太
930
00:51:16,336 --> 00:51:17,570
丁先生、丁太太
931
00:51:17,770 --> 00:51:19,272
旁边那个呢？
932
00:51:19,372 --> 00:51:20,940
这是他的女朋友叫小倩
933
00:51:21,007 --> 00:51:22,575
叫丁先生、丁太太
934
00:51:30,583 --> 00:51:32,418
丁先生、丁太太你们好
935
00:51:32,552 --> 00:51:35,621
听你的口音不像香港人，哪儿人啊？
936
00:51:35,855 --> 00:51:37,256
我是北京人
937
00:51:37,357 --> 00:51:40,259
“大陆妹” ？
938
00:51:41,761 --> 00:51:43,262
苍蝇啊
939
00:51:43,363 --> 00:51:44,597
哪儿有苍蝇呀？
940
00:51:44,897 --> 00:51:47,066
在你们的嘴上面呢
941
00:51:51,070 --> 00:51:52,572
你真是没知识
942
00:51:52,839 --> 00:51:56,409
这不是苍蝇，这个叫“痦子” ，或者叫志
943
00:51:56,476 --> 00:51:58,478
胸怀大志的“志”
944
00:52:00,146 --> 00:52:02,048
我真替你们担心呢
945
00:52:02,248 --> 00:52:04,417
这“大陆仔” 来到香港就知道打劫
946
00:52:04,684 --> 00:52:08,087
这“北姑” 来到香港就做“北姑蒸鸡”
947
00:52:08,154 --> 00:52:10,223
“九七” 之后真不知道会变成什么样子
948
00:52:10,423 --> 00:52:12,258
真是麻烦啊…
949
00:52:13,026 --> 00:52:15,361
幸好我们已经办好了“居英权”
950
00:52:15,595 --> 00:52:19,165
“九七” 之后我们就能回祖国享清福了
951
00:52:27,073 --> 00:52:30,309
你的祖国不是中国吗？
952
00:52:30,510 --> 00:52:34,080
你神经病啊，我早就入了英国籍
953
00:52:34,147 --> 00:52:40,486
我还学英文，我有个英文名字叫Ric…Ric
954
00:52:45,258 --> 00:52:47,427
那为什么你们不把你们的头发染成金色
955
00:52:47,627 --> 00:52:50,463
再戴个有色的隐形眼镜扮成外国人？
956
00:52:50,596 --> 00:52:53,099
可能放个屁都会香点儿
957
00:52:53,266 --> 00:52:55,101
好主意
958
00:52:56,803 --> 00:52:58,304
值得考虑
959
00:53:00,540 --> 00:53:03,543
中国有你们这种人，真丢脸
960
00:53:03,710 --> 00:53:04,610
你说什么？
961
00:53:04,777 --> 00:53:06,779
我替你爸你妈害臊啊！
962
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,582
中国人不做，做假洋鬼子
963
00:53:10,049 --> 00:53:12,552
喂，那…死老鬼，你都看到了
964
00:53:12,852 --> 00:53:16,422
你儿子这块料多没礼貌，你还不骂她
965
00:53:16,622 --> 00:53:19,525
小倩，你骂的好
966
00:53:19,692 --> 00:53:23,029
我忍屎忍尿也不能再忍下去
967
00:53:26,332 --> 00:53:28,568
你个死老鬼，你忘恩负义
968
00:53:28,835 --> 00:53:30,336
当年要不是我老爸借五百块给你
969
00:53:30,403 --> 00:53:31,637
你们早就饿死了
970
00:53:31,904 --> 00:53:36,075
可不是嘛，就算饿不死也全都要饭了
971
00:53:41,514 --> 00:53:43,349
我的手袋
972
00:53:44,550 --> 00:53:48,788
不要过来
973
00:54:12,612 --> 00:54:17,850
自从相思河畔见了你
974
00:54:18,084 --> 00:54:21,154
无限的痛苦埋在心窝里
975
00:54:20,854 --> 00:54:23,690
每次约她都是唱着歌出场的
976
00:54:23,857 --> 00:54:26,026
昨天踢丁那脚真精彩
977
00:54:26,226 --> 00:54:28,128
今天介绍个漂亮妞给你？
978
00:54:29,829 --> 00:54:33,233
不要把我忘记
979
00:54:45,011 --> 00:54:47,848
好久不见了，你可好啊？
980
00:54:47,948 --> 00:54:50,350
好，你老婆呢？
981
00:54:50,684 --> 00:54:51,852
去世了
982
00:54:52,085 --> 00:54:52,919
好
983
00:54:53,019 --> 00:54:54,087
你先生呢？
984
00:54:54,254 --> 00:54:55,589
他也过去了
985
00:54:55,622 --> 00:54:56,923
也好
986
00:54:57,657 --> 00:54:58,325
这个是…
987
00:54:58,692 --> 00:55:01,027
这是我儿子，起来，叫人
988
00:55:01,561 --> 00:55:03,230
叔叔
989
00:55:04,497 --> 00:55:07,167
这是我女儿小萱
990
00:55:07,300 --> 00:55:11,204
叫人啊，叫叔叔
991
00:55:12,105 --> 00:55:13,840
叔叔
992
00:55:14,708 --> 00:55:16,943
坐…
993
00:55:19,646 --> 00:55:22,716
他本来很聪明的，就是撞车撞到头
994
00:55:23,149 --> 00:55:24,985
就变成这样子了
995
00:55:25,085 --> 00:55:28,154
我女儿从小到大都很聪明
996
00:55:28,355 --> 00:55:31,758
也不知道为什么就变成这样
997
00:55:32,392 --> 00:55:37,063
或者现在年青人兴这样子，那个…
998
00:55:38,632 --> 00:55:44,037
你太太过去之后，你有没有那…那个？
999
00:55:44,304 --> 00:55:46,806
又要找饭吃，又要看着这三个东西
1000
00:55:46,873 --> 00:55:49,376
哪有时间那个…
1001
00:55:50,844 --> 00:55:52,345
你呢？
1002
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,683
幸亏我老公留了些钱给我们母女俩
1003
00:55:56,716 --> 00:55:59,686
我是说你有没有那个…？
1004
00:56:00,287 --> 00:56:04,457
本来，我也想…那个的
1005
00:56:04,691 --> 00:56:09,362
不过，女儿突然变成这个样子
1006
00:56:09,763 --> 00:56:12,933
你说我怎能那个？
1007
00:56:14,835 --> 00:56:18,672
你看，他们俩还真是天生一对
1008
00:56:18,805 --> 00:56:20,473
没想到上一代没结果
1009
00:56:20,807 --> 00:56:24,711
可能下一代，那个…那个啦
1010
00:56:24,811 --> 00:56:27,480
干脆我们给他们撮合撮合 好啊
1011
00:56:27,781 --> 00:56:29,783
喂…不要啊
1012
00:56:30,817 --> 00:56:32,886
我，我是傻子
1013
00:56:33,019 --> 00:56:36,022
你傻？你看看，她比你还傻
1014
00:56:36,289 --> 00:56:41,361
不是啊，我真是…有病啊，有病
1015
00:56:42,929 --> 00:56:44,097
不如你们俩去玩一下啊
1016
00:56:44,231 --> 00:56:45,465
对，出去…，去玩玩，去玩
1017
00:56:45,632 --> 00:56:47,801
去玩，去 去…，去玩去吧
1018
00:56:48,401 --> 00:56:50,904
好啦…，出去玩吧
1019
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:02,849
什么那个，那个？
1020
00:57:10,857 --> 00:57:12,926
劈死你
1021
00:58:10,317 --> 00:58:12,152
武功好没用的
1022
00:58:12,352 --> 00:58:14,187
最紧要是脑子
1023
00:58:14,321 --> 00:58:17,390
你并不是傻得很厉害，还有得救
1024
00:58:17,991 --> 00:58:21,394
一有空就吃点药，别干咽了
1025
00:58:21,661 --> 00:58:24,898
去那边喝点水，乖
1026
00:58:32,539 --> 00:58:34,274
我告诉你啊
1027
00:58:34,441 --> 00:58:36,276
你别以为我是真傻
1028
00:58:36,476 --> 00:58:41,047
你知不知道？我装傻是不想让别人骗我妈
1029
00:58:41,147 --> 00:58:44,150
神经病，看你那傻样
1030
00:58:44,284 --> 00:58:45,519
给你石头，你都吃
1031
00:58:45,719 --> 00:58:47,053
你也是假装的？
1032
00:58:47,087 --> 00:58:48,455
当然了
1033
00:58:48,755 --> 00:58:50,257
小心点
1034
00:58:50,323 --> 00:58:52,826
是这样了，年轻人
1035
00:58:52,859 --> 00:58:55,061
喂…，干脆我们装得更厉害点？
1036
00:58:55,295 --> 00:58:56,196
是…
1037
00:59:17,217 --> 00:59:19,219
是个靓妞啊
1038
00:59:25,559 --> 00:59:26,293
继续说
1039
00:59:26,459 --> 00:59:28,628
过来了
1040
00:59:31,398 --> 00:59:33,300
郎先生，你好吗？
1041
00:59:33,466 --> 00:59:35,302
你是我的Fans
1042
00:59:35,468 --> 00:59:36,870
我是你的Fans？
1043
00:59:36,937 --> 00:59:40,273
不是…，我是你的屎
1044
00:59:40,473 --> 00:59:41,641
屎？
1045
00:59:41,842 --> 00:59:43,910
不…我是你的Fans
1046
00:59:43,944 --> 00:59:46,146
你也喜欢摄影？
1047
00:59:46,713 --> 00:59:48,281
我很羡慕你啊
1048
00:59:48,415 --> 00:59:51,251
我的天地只是一个厨房
1049
00:59:51,284 --> 00:59:55,689
而你却可以得到金字塔、喜玛拉雅山
1050
00:59:55,989 --> 00:59:57,891
照我看这样吧 你跟你的偶像照张相好不好
1051
00:59:58,358 --> 00:59:59,192
好…，合照…
1052
00:59:59,326 --> 01:00:00,227
好啊…
1053
01:00:00,393 --> 01:00:01,461
照相
1054
01:00:02,295 --> 01:00:03,530
好了
1055
01:00:03,797 --> 01:00:05,131
来…
1056
01:00:05,165 --> 01:00:06,633
请问你叫什么名字？
1057
01:00:06,833 --> 01:00:08,068
我叫贤淑
1058
01:00:08,101 --> 01:00:09,469
贤淑？
1059
01:00:09,769 --> 01:00:12,339
现在很少人用这个名字了
1060
01:00:13,673 --> 01:00:16,676
来…谢谢…
1061
01:00:16,810 --> 01:00:19,646
谢谢，谢谢各位
1062
01:00:20,514 --> 01:00:22,916
别玩了
1063
01:00:28,154 --> 01:00:31,157
小倩姑娘，种花
1064
01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:34,361
上次弄坏了你爸的五福临门
1065
01:00:34,594 --> 01:00:36,663
这一盆叫八星报喜
1066
01:00:36,863 --> 01:00:38,598
是我赔他的
1067
01:00:41,168 --> 01:00:43,003
小倩姑娘
1068
01:00:44,004 --> 01:00:47,574
你真是有爱心、有善心、有同情心
1069
01:00:47,908 --> 01:00:50,076
我二哥有福啊
1070
01:00:51,878 --> 01:00:53,113
你不是？
1071
01:00:53,146 --> 01:00:56,950
神经病？当然不是了，你也不是鬼上身
1072
01:00:57,083 --> 01:00:58,652
以为我不知道
1073
01:00:59,019 --> 01:01:00,187
说了别穿帮啊
1074
01:01:00,320 --> 01:01:01,555
好啊
1075
01:01:01,821 --> 01:01:03,723
你喜欢我二哥
1076
01:01:04,090 --> 01:01:04,991
什么？
1077
01:01:05,192 --> 01:01:06,760
说来听听
1078
01:01:07,727 --> 01:01:09,963
那也得要他喜欢我才行啊
1079
01:01:09,996 --> 01:01:12,065
他现正打电话求金慕玲呢
1080
01:01:12,299 --> 01:01:15,969
废话，你看看你啊，穿得不男不女的
1081
01:01:16,069 --> 01:01:18,138
你知不知道穿衣服一定要有品味
1082
01:01:18,338 --> 01:01:21,007
女孩子一定要会打扮，你看我
1083
01:01:21,174 --> 01:01:22,676
帮人帮到底
1084
01:01:23,009 --> 01:01:24,511
拿去打扮打扮吧
1085
01:01:24,811 --> 01:01:25,712
不行啊
1086
01:01:25,946 --> 01:01:29,115
为了我二哥的幸福，去吧
1087
01:01:35,155 --> 01:01:37,657
小姐，这件也不错
1088
01:01:44,397 --> 01:01:45,632
大嫂
1089
01:01:48,368 --> 01:01:49,203
小倩啊
1090
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:51,204
小倩
1091
01:01:51,404 --> 01:01:53,573
怎么，你漂亮了这么多？
1092
01:01:56,510 --> 01:01:57,000
大嫂
1093
01:01:57,110 --> 01:01:58,078
这件也不错
1094
01:01:58,312 --> 01:02:00,714
不合适，我是随便看看，我穿不合适的
1095
01:02:00,781 --> 01:02:01,849
你试试才知道嘛
1096
01:02:01,982 --> 01:02:03,050
不行 试试
1097
01:02:03,217 --> 01:02:04,218
这件太暴露了
1098
01:02:04,418 --> 01:02:06,754
来…，试试
1099
01:02:13,827 --> 01:02:15,229
这个…太暴露了，不行
1100
01:02:15,529 --> 01:02:16,930
真漂亮 不行啊
1101
01:02:17,197 --> 01:02:18,599
包起来
1102
01:02:21,769 --> 01:02:23,937
我先上去了
1103
01:02:25,439 --> 01:02:27,841
怎么…
1104
01:02:29,043 --> 01:02:31,211
我有话跟你说
1105
01:02:36,550 --> 01:02:38,285
说什么
1106
01:02:38,619 --> 01:02:39,953
到月底了
1107
01:02:40,187 --> 01:02:42,589
还有四万五，什么时候给我？
1108
01:02:42,656 --> 01:02:43,991
不行
1109
01:02:44,391 --> 01:02:46,727
我叫你是要让我爸爸讨厌你的嘛
1110
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:47,928
但是现在我爸爸不讨厌你
1111
01:02:48,162 --> 01:02:49,997
反而变成全家人喜欢你
1112
01:02:50,164 --> 01:02:51,899
没达到目的怎么给你？
1113
01:02:52,032 --> 01:02:54,201
还有，为了你，我跟阿玲吵架了
1114
01:02:54,335 --> 01:02:56,170
算了
1115
01:02:57,671 --> 01:02:58,839
你干什么？
1116
01:02:58,972 --> 01:03:01,375
放心吧，我不会赚你的臭钱了
1117
01:03:03,577 --> 01:03:04,812
再见
1118
01:03:05,112 --> 01:03:06,847
哎，还是别见了
1119
01:03:12,119 --> 01:03:12,853
再见了，小帅哥
1120
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:13,654
拜拜
1121
01:03:13,787 --> 01:03:15,122
喂，小倩
1122
01:03:15,322 --> 01:03:16,390
去哪儿啊？
1123
01:03:16,557 --> 01:03:17,791
找小非啊
1124
01:03:17,825 --> 01:03:19,860
金慕玲，你没去死？
1125
01:03:20,060 --> 01:03:21,061
请等等
1126
01:03:21,295 --> 01:03:25,032
喂，不是，刚才是我弟弟
1127
01:03:26,233 --> 01:03:27,968
老先生
1128
01:03:28,068 --> 01:03:29,803
小倩姑娘
1129
01:03:29,970 --> 01:03:33,207
老恭说这棵“八星报喜” 是你找回来的
1130
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:35,175
谢谢你了
1131
01:03:35,376 --> 01:03:39,046
我要跟你说声对不起 上次假装包青天骗你
1132
01:03:39,179 --> 01:03:41,081
我知道
1133
01:03:43,584 --> 01:03:45,919
这五千块钱还给你
1134
01:03:45,986 --> 01:03:49,323
不用，算我给你的见面礼吧
1135
01:03:50,124 --> 01:03:52,960
这样不行啊，我走了
1136
01:03:53,694 --> 01:03:55,195
走了
1137
01:03:56,697 --> 01:03:57,931
找人送你
1138
01:03:58,232 --> 01:04:00,234
不用了
1139
01:04:03,203 --> 01:04:05,873
有空来长洲找我
1140
01:04:09,376 --> 01:04:12,046
阿玲，你冷静点，先听我说啊
1141
01:04:12,179 --> 01:04:14,682
你还不赶快去追你的女朋友
1142
01:04:14,715 --> 01:04:17,051
你还是先喝杯凉水吧
1143
01:04:17,284 --> 01:04:19,787
我妈又没有得罪你，我妈早就死了
1144
01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:22,089
你可不可以对她尊重一点
1145
01:04:22,222 --> 01:04:24,458
别以为你会说脏话我不会
1146
01:04:29,296 --> 01:04:33,200
是阿拉伯话,说你是骆驼屎里的一颗蛔虫卵
1147
01:04:40,808 --> 01:04:43,043
老公
1148
01:04:44,144 --> 01:04:46,980
你干嘛把脸擦的像猴屁股似的？
1149
01:04:47,448 --> 01:04:48,849
你不喜欢吗？
1150
01:04:48,916 --> 01:04:51,485
你差点吓着我，还以为你发花痴呢？
1151
01:04:54,021 --> 01:04:58,425
老公，我们很久都没有…
1152
01:04:58,759 --> 01:05:00,094
没什么啊？
1153
01:05:00,327 --> 01:05:02,496
我明天一早还要去公司开会
1154
01:05:02,730 --> 01:05:04,732
还是洗个澡早点睡吧
1155
01:05:29,823 --> 01:05:32,893
买这么多化妆品，真是发骚了
1156
01:05:36,830 --> 01:05:40,234
“出墙红杏” 都可以出版？真是教坏人啊
1157
01:05:40,834 --> 01:05:43,504
可爱的贤淑，郎蒙
1158
01:05:44,038 --> 01:05:45,873
郎蒙是什么人
1159
01:05:53,247 --> 01:05:55,416
这件衣服怎么这样性感
1160
01:05:57,718 --> 01:06:00,220
开叉开到屁股了
1161
01:06:02,356 --> 01:06:05,926
穿给谁看了？穿给谁看？
1162
01:06:07,261 --> 01:06:09,263
戴绿帽？
1163
01:06:15,669 --> 01:06:17,171
我先去换衣服了
1164
01:06:17,237 --> 01:06:19,807
要不要我帮你换裤子？
1165
01:06:19,973 --> 01:06:21,375
找死了你
1166
01:06:24,578 --> 01:06:27,481
嗨，我叫Musc1e，你呢？
1167
01:06:27,648 --> 01:06:29,149
我叫波波
1168
01:06:29,183 --> 01:06:33,087
波波？人如其名啊
1169
01:06:33,220 --> 01:06:34,388
你常常到这儿来吗？
1170
01:06:34,588 --> 01:06:35,923
偶而啦
1171
01:06:35,956 --> 01:06:37,257
难怪身材这么好了
1172
01:06:37,558 --> 01:06:40,127
你线条很美啊
1173
01:06:40,294 --> 01:06:41,528
不过，我家里有部机器
1174
01:06:41,695 --> 01:06:45,199
想要练腰可以试一试啊
1175
01:06:45,299 --> 01:06:47,801
我看不光是练腰这么简单吧？
1176
01:06:47,835 --> 01:06:49,503
那你还想干什么？
1177
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:54,575
这里
1178
01:06:54,775 --> 01:06:56,343
这位是谁啊？
1179
01:06:56,477 --> 01:06:58,479
这位啊，你朋友啰
1180
01:06:59,313 --> 01:07:01,215
小姐，可别怪我多嘴啊，看你练的
1181
01:07:01,382 --> 01:07:03,951
三头肌比二头肌还大，背肌比胸肌还厚
1182
01:07:04,084 --> 01:07:05,986
正像个钉书机
1183
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:09,156
你看看你，人家生气了
1184
01:07:09,356 --> 01:07:11,091
你干嘛还站在这不去换衣服？
1185
01:07:11,258 --> 01:07:13,260
我先去桑拿
1186
01:07:13,961 --> 01:07:16,196
快一点，讨厌
1187
01:07:20,668 --> 01:07:22,836
小姐，我们俩真有缘啊
1188
01:07:22,870 --> 01:07:25,339
我中六合彩了，请你吃顿饭好吗？
1189
01:07:25,673 --> 01:07:27,574
喜欢吃鱼子酱还是法国蘑菇
1190
01:07:27,775 --> 01:07:30,177
喂，两万多一份啊
1191
01:07:30,210 --> 01:07:31,078
傻小子
1192
01:07:31,278 --> 01:07:32,346
是我啊
1193
01:07:32,546 --> 01:07:33,947
傻丫头
1194
01:07:35,849 --> 01:07:37,418
你今天怎么打扮的这么帅啊？
1195
01:07:37,751 --> 01:07:42,322
天生的，你也…可以啊
1196
01:07:42,356 --> 01:07:44,358
我以前做过运动嘛
1197
01:07:44,958 --> 01:07:48,295
我老爸找不到你老妈 现在我找到你也一样
1198
01:07:48,529 --> 01:07:51,365
一块儿去吃顿饭，慢慢地聊聊
1199
01:07:51,799 --> 01:07:53,033
你知不知道？
1200
01:07:53,067 --> 01:07:56,403
我不想那些男人骗我妈
1201
01:07:56,637 --> 01:07:58,038
所以我才装疯卖傻的
1202
01:07:58,105 --> 01:08:00,274
随便，一块去吃饭慢慢聊聊
1203
01:08:00,441 --> 01:08:03,444
法国蘑菇合不合适？一万多一份啊
1204
01:08:03,610 --> 01:08:07,948
我不大喜欢跟穿西装的人吃饭，就这样啦
1205
01:08:10,617 --> 01:08:12,019
西装只是一个人的外表
1206
01:08:12,086 --> 01:08:14,655
里面一样是胸肌、腹肌、健康的肌肉
1207
01:08:14,955 --> 01:08:17,458
小兄弟，你的胸肌有多大
1208
01:08:17,758 --> 01:08:20,594
光大有什么用啊？大还要硬
1209
01:08:20,661 --> 01:08:22,162
硬还会动
1210
01:08:22,229 --> 01:08:24,131
动还会叫啊
1211
01:08:25,799 --> 01:08:27,201
你朋友？
1212
01:08:27,234 --> 01:08:29,069
他是我男朋友
1213
01:08:29,236 --> 01:08:30,637
明明知道是我的妞
1214
01:08:30,938 --> 01:08:33,607
好，让给你吧
1215
01:08:35,542 --> 01:08:38,112
我什么时候成了你男朋友？
1216
01:08:50,891 --> 01:08:51,959
老公
1217
01:08:51,992 --> 01:08:53,127
怎么这么早就回来了？
1218
01:08:53,327 --> 01:08:55,562
今天晚上有个重要的聚会，我想你陪我去
1219
01:08:55,763 --> 01:08:57,998
快换衣服，有多漂亮穿多漂亮
1220
01:08:58,065 --> 01:09:00,067
我在厅里等你，快点
1221
01:09:06,807 --> 01:09:09,643
那件性感晚装一定是穿给我看的
1222
01:09:09,677 --> 01:09:14,081
别这么多心了，她叫贤淑，当然很贤淑啦
1223
01:09:14,214 --> 01:09:15,949
怎么会变心呢？
1224
01:09:16,316 --> 01:09:18,052
你一个人在这唠叨什么呢？
1225
01:09:18,118 --> 01:09:19,953
没什么，老爸，你？
1226
01:09:20,054 --> 01:09:22,122
你们两口子去烛光晚餐，没人煮饭
1227
01:09:22,356 --> 01:09:24,358
那我只有充当大师父了
1228
01:09:24,925 --> 01:09:26,994
贤淑下来了
1229
01:09:28,028 --> 01:09:29,096
这样行吗？老公
1230
01:09:29,329 --> 01:09:31,065
等等
1231
01:09:31,165 --> 01:09:32,399
你…你这件衣服？
1232
01:09:32,666 --> 01:09:34,068
怎么啦？
1233
01:09:34,101 --> 01:09:35,002
不去了
1234
01:09:35,169 --> 01:09:36,170
怎么又不去了？
1235
01:09:36,337 --> 01:09:37,237
取消了嘛
1236
01:09:37,404 --> 01:09:38,405
为什么会取消？
1237
01:09:38,605 --> 01:09:40,007
刮台风所以取消了
1238
01:09:40,207 --> 01:09:43,043
哪儿刮台风了，现在风和日丽的
1239
01:09:43,077 --> 01:09:43,644
你去哪？
1240
01:09:43,911 --> 01:09:44,645
去开会
1241
01:09:44,745 --> 01:09:45,646
刚才又没听你说
1242
01:09:45,779 --> 01:09:48,182
人家打电话来叫我去，行不行？
1243
01:09:53,454 --> 01:09:56,523
别怪他了，这阵子生意压力很大
1244
01:09:56,857 --> 01:09:59,426
爸爸，还是让我去给你做晚饭吧
1245
01:09:59,526 --> 01:10:01,095
一块做
1246
01:10:06,233 --> 01:10:07,468
各位兄弟
1247
01:10:07,768 --> 01:10:10,604
这本书可棒啊，有时间多看看
1248
01:10:10,704 --> 01:10:12,539
什么…蒙遗？是黄书啊？
1249
01:10:12,673 --> 01:10:15,342
这本书这么厚，哪有时间看
1250
01:10:15,476 --> 01:10:18,812
你看过了，干脆你说来听听
1251
01:10:19,013 --> 01:10:21,515
这本书说的是摄影师，要不这样吧
1252
01:10:21,749 --> 01:10:23,751
我投入点给你，用我来代替
1253
01:10:23,884 --> 01:10:25,219
好 好，你说
1254
01:10:25,252 --> 01:10:26,820
我呢，走到了桥那儿
1255
01:10:27,121 --> 01:10:28,689
很漂亮的桥，非常壮丽
1256
01:10:28,989 --> 01:10:30,724
那些钢架的设计非常新颖
1257
01:10:30,824 --> 01:10:32,559
我就想去拍些照片
1258
01:10:32,726 --> 01:10:34,294
可是没想到我迷了路
1259
01:10:34,395 --> 01:10:36,630
先生，你醉了很久了
1260
01:10:39,433 --> 01:10:41,502
在这个时候，突然有个女人要给我带路
1261
01:10:41,702 --> 01:10:43,037
漂不漂亮？
1262
01:10:43,070 --> 01:10:44,571
她不是漂不漂亮那种女人
1263
01:10:44,705 --> 01:10:48,208
而是非常有味道的女人啊
1264
01:10:48,242 --> 01:10:49,443
就好像你晚上
1265
01:10:49,677 --> 01:10:52,413
看CNN新闻报告里的新闻播报员那种
1266
01:10:52,613 --> 01:10:54,515
既有头脑又聪明的那种
1267
01:10:54,715 --> 01:10:56,050
那到底漂不漂亮？
1268
01:10:56,083 --> 01:10:59,253
她呢就是…就是那种很吸引我们中年男人
1269
01:10:59,420 --> 01:11:01,822
那种很贤淑的那种家庭主妇啊
1270
01:11:02,156 --> 01:11:04,558
贤淑，黄脸婆啊
1271
01:11:04,858 --> 01:11:07,194
别吵，先听我说完好吗？
1272
01:11:07,227 --> 01:11:08,562
先别打断我
1273
01:11:08,862 --> 01:11:11,265
那个很贤淑的家庭主妇
1274
01:11:11,298 --> 01:11:14,468
其实也是一个很聪明、很风趣的女人
1275
01:11:14,668 --> 01:11:17,171
同时又是个很感性的女人，很吸引的
1276
01:11:17,271 --> 01:11:21,608
但可惜，他的老公不了解她，又不关心她
1277
01:11:21,842 --> 01:11:24,745
在这个时候，我的出现就很重要了
1278
01:11:24,945 --> 01:11:29,183
我的出现令到她如痴如醉
1279
01:11:29,917 --> 01:11:31,819
她请我吃饭
1280
01:11:32,019 --> 01:11:35,356
并且还穿着我送给她很漂亮的晚装
1281
01:11:35,389 --> 01:11:36,890
我们一起喝酒
1282
01:11:37,358 --> 01:11:42,096
我们一起跳舞，哎哟、我们还一起听音乐
1283
01:11:42,229 --> 01:11:44,565
然后我们还一起…
1284
01:11:44,832 --> 01:11:47,735
怎么样？…说下去
1285
01:11:47,935 --> 01:11:50,504
然后我们一起接吻
1286
01:11:51,772 --> 01:11:53,173
爽呆了，正不正点
1287
01:11:53,240 --> 01:11:55,576
怎么样，有没有上床，你们？
1288
01:11:55,809 --> 01:11:57,544
是啊…，到底有没有上床啊？
1289
01:11:57,745 --> 01:11:59,146
不告诉你们
1290
01:11:59,246 --> 01:12:01,915
我希望你们自己努力，好好想想吧
1291
01:12:02,583 --> 01:12:03,417
照我说啊
1292
01:12:03,550 --> 01:12:06,620
看他那副德性一定跟那个黄脸婆上过床了
1293
01:12:06,987 --> 01:12:08,222
说！
1294
01:12:08,255 --> 01:12:09,923
你到底有没有跟她上床？
1295
01:12:10,190 --> 01:12:12,259
先生，你喝醉了吧？
1296
01:12:12,893 --> 01:12:14,628
你到底跟她上床了没有？
1297
01:12:14,695 --> 01:12:17,197
先生…，人家有没有上床关你什么事？
1298
01:12:17,264 --> 01:12:20,501
怎么不关我事？那黄脸婆是我老婆！
1299
01:12:20,701 --> 01:12:23,370
梅丽尔史翠普是你老婆？
1300
01:12:23,537 --> 01:12:25,372
莎朗史东是我老婆啊
1301
01:12:25,572 --> 01:12:26,740
你们耍我
1302
01:12:27,875 --> 01:12:30,944
打我们的偶像？想死，你
1303
01:12:43,957 --> 01:12:45,793
老爸，早上好
1304
01:12:45,926 --> 01:12:47,261
早上好
1305
01:12:47,461 --> 01:12:48,796
吃早餐
1306
01:12:51,331 --> 01:12:53,500
老爸，我有些事要和你说
1307
01:12:53,667 --> 01:12:55,169
说吧
1308
01:12:55,302 --> 01:12:59,206
我觉得我和贤淑有点合不来 所以我想离…
1309
01:12:59,373 --> 01:13:00,541
离什么离？
1310
01:13:00,708 --> 01:13:03,210
别想跟贤淑离婚，你做蒙！
1311
01:13:03,310 --> 01:13:04,812
听我说，老爸，你这次一定要听我解释啊
1312
01:13:05,079 --> 01:13:07,748
解释什么？你还想讨小老婆啊
1313
01:13:07,881 --> 01:13:09,383
你看你这样八成是抢女人
1314
01:13:09,416 --> 01:13:10,484
让人家打成这副德性
1315
01:13:10,684 --> 01:13:11,585
不说了
1316
01:13:11,785 --> 01:13:12,953
听着
1317
01:13:13,354 --> 01:13:15,356
你要是敢跟贤淑离婚的话
1318
01:13:15,556 --> 01:13:17,558
我跟你脱离父子关系
1319
01:13:22,296 --> 01:13:23,464
不用理他
1320
01:13:23,630 --> 01:13:27,368
他真是敢讨小老婆，我也不准她进宫
1321
01:13:48,522 --> 01:13:51,025
看什么看，老头，没见过萝葡？
1322
01:14:10,077 --> 01:14:14,314
很久没看到你上来健身啊？
1323
01:14:14,415 --> 01:14:15,816
没有
1324
01:14:16,583 --> 01:14:18,252
怎么了？
1325
01:14:19,386 --> 01:14:20,721
你不开心？
1326
01:14:20,788 --> 01:14:21,355
是啊
1327
01:14:21,388 --> 01:14:22,289
我很闷
1328
01:14:24,024 --> 01:14:26,593
我两个大哥发生情变
1329
01:14:26,727 --> 01:14:29,563
都与你无关，是不是？
1330
01:14:29,697 --> 01:14:33,534
他们对我很好，我现在才知道亲情的可爱
1331
01:14:33,701 --> 01:14:35,703
那么有多贵呢？
1332
01:14:35,836 --> 01:14:37,071
两千多万
1333
01:14:39,173 --> 01:14:40,341
为什么？
1334
01:14:40,407 --> 01:14:42,309
你男朋友呢？
1335
01:14:42,509 --> 01:14:44,345
不…不知道
1336
01:14:48,015 --> 01:14:50,017
你傻子也想泡妞啊？
1337
01:14:50,250 --> 01:14:52,419
“埋…单”
1338
01:14:56,990 --> 01:14:59,827
傻子，我跟你可真是有缘
1339
01:15:00,928 --> 01:15:03,931
既然我们这么有缘，随便打一局吧
1340
01:15:04,064 --> 01:15:05,065
走啦…
1341
01:15:05,366 --> 01:15:06,100
一千块一度
1342
01:15:06,500 --> 01:15:07,334
我不会打
1343
01:15:07,434 --> 01:15:10,838
那一万块一度了，君子球 每局一万块垫底
1344
01:15:11,071 --> 01:15:13,907
打输一杆一万块，打输两杆两万块
1345
01:15:14,041 --> 01:15:15,876
能打高难度球加三万块
1346
01:15:15,976 --> 01:15:18,479
打招呼打电话上厕所加五万块
1347
01:15:18,579 --> 01:15:21,915
如果打错黑球的话你可就倒霉了
1348
01:15:22,082 --> 01:15:24,651
七七四十九度，四十九万块
1349
01:15:24,752 --> 01:15:26,420
这么多人看着了，缩头的是王八蛋
1350
01:15:26,453 --> 01:15:29,623
麻烦，一次过剪刀石头布一百万，来啊
1351
01:15:29,890 --> 01:15:31,392
缩头是王八蛋，来啊！
1352
01:15:31,425 --> 01:15:32,459
我出布，来啊！
1353
01:15:37,364 --> 01:15:39,700
Yes，给钱，一百万
1354
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:41,068
给你根毛
1355
01:15:41,201 --> 01:15:42,870
这么多人看见了，想耍赖吗？
1356
01:15:42,970 --> 01:15:43,871
谁看到？
1357
01:15:44,004 --> 01:15:45,506
你们看见没有？
1358
01:15:48,642 --> 01:15:50,978
混蛋，原来你跟我装傻的是吧？
1359
01:15:51,245 --> 01:15:52,913
跟我狠狠地刻他
1360
01:15:54,314 --> 01:15:56,150
信不信我“螳螂拳” 给你？
1361
01:15:59,153 --> 01:16:01,655
你先快点躲起来
1362
01:17:22,336 --> 01:17:24,071
想跑？
1363
01:17:24,805 --> 01:17:26,140
你上哪儿去了？
1364
01:17:26,340 --> 01:17:27,741
我去买夜宵嘛
1365
01:17:29,777 --> 01:17:31,011
知道我厉害了吧
1366
01:17:31,111 --> 01:17:33,614
傻子，不…大侠，我求你饶命好不好？
1367
01:17:33,681 --> 01:17:35,516
要不这样吧，我先给你钱
1368
01:17:35,683 --> 01:17:37,751
如果不够的话，明天我派人送到你家去
1369
01:17:38,052 --> 01:17:39,553
你说的，我怎么相信你啊？
1370
01:17:39,653 --> 01:17:41,055
那你要怎么样，大侠？
1371
01:17:42,790 --> 01:17:44,124
那边黑点，这边亮一点
1372
01:17:44,358 --> 01:17:45,592
那边的光要打足一点
1373
01:17:45,626 --> 01:17:48,462
光圈别太大了，调到十一度
1374
01:17:48,595 --> 01:17:49,930
反光别太大了，行不行？
1375
01:17:50,230 --> 01:17:52,800
不行，只可以到…四
1376
01:17:52,933 --> 01:17:54,101
屁股呢？
1377
01:17:54,301 --> 01:17:57,137
屁股？屁股不够光了
1378
01:17:57,271 --> 01:17:58,939
没关系，我把光圈开大一点那就行了
1379
01:17:59,006 --> 01:18:00,074
反光板也不要了
1380
01:18:00,274 --> 01:18:01,942
给他的屁股照亮一点，好啦
1381
01:18:02,076 --> 01:18:05,145
来了，不要哭，没阳光了
1382
01:18:05,612 --> 01:18:08,782
动作文雅一点，给你们老大把眼泪擦掉
1383
01:18:08,949 --> 01:18:10,784
把头仰起来，仰起来
1384
01:18:10,984 --> 01:18:11,885
再仰起来啊
1385
01:18:12,086 --> 01:18:13,587
把肩膀提一提
1386
01:18:14,188 --> 01:18:17,524
再高一点，屁股再高一点
1387
01:18:17,558 --> 01:18:19,693
高一点…，高一点啊
1388
01:18:19,893 --> 01:18:21,128
你来帮他示范一下
1389
01:18:21,395 --> 01:18:22,730
你已经高够了
1390
01:18:22,763 --> 01:18:25,766
前面再伸长一点嘛，前面伸长一点啊
1391
01:18:25,933 --> 01:18:28,669
舌头啊，老兄，别乱来，我这里很高级的
1392
01:18:29,036 --> 01:18:30,204
别跟我弄砸了
1393
01:18:30,371 --> 01:18:35,542
对，太漂亮了，太棒了，我喜欢
1394
01:18:35,576 --> 01:18:37,811
对，别停下来
1395
01:18:38,112 --> 01:18:39,613
有没有太阳油？
1396
01:18:39,646 --> 01:18:42,850
要那种可以把全身擦亮的那一种
1397
01:18:43,117 --> 01:18:45,119
这儿没有太阳油
1398
01:18:45,285 --> 01:18:47,187
只有白花油，我去拿
1399
01:18:53,727 --> 01:18:54,795
你没事吧？
1400
01:18:54,995 --> 01:18:56,330
没事
1401
01:18:56,830 --> 01:19:00,567
你啊，才七点钟就去买夜宵
1402
01:19:00,901 --> 01:19:02,803
你肚子是不是很饿？
1403
01:19:03,003 --> 01:19:05,239
我是怕你饿，你要打架
1404
01:19:05,506 --> 01:19:08,242
你真的不错了，打了半天手都没有破
1405
01:19:08,375 --> 01:19:09,109
你有没有女朋友？
1406
01:19:09,276 --> 01:19:10,177
没有
1407
01:19:10,411 --> 01:19:12,579
我最不喜欢人一脚踩两船
1408
01:19:12,613 --> 01:19:16,950
一脚踩两船这种男人，人人得而诛之
1409
01:19:17,418 --> 01:19:20,921
还有，一夜情
1410
01:19:21,288 --> 01:19:23,857
我…也受不了
1411
01:19:23,957 --> 01:19:26,026
一夜情这种残忍的事情
1412
01:19:26,260 --> 01:19:29,329
我一想起来就浑身不舒服
1413
01:19:31,331 --> 01:19:35,002
你可别得了便宜卖乖
1414
01:19:35,202 --> 01:19:39,940
太可怕了，得了便宜卖乖
1415
01:19:40,040 --> 01:19:41,108
小萱啊，拜托你别这么说我了
1416
01:19:41,308 --> 01:19:43,043
我可根本不是这种人
1417
01:19:43,110 --> 01:19:44,845
我怎么会做这种不负责任的事情？
1418
01:19:45,045 --> 01:19:46,380
我一想起呢，我心里就哆嗦
1419
01:19:46,647 --> 01:19:47,881
我就发…发冷啊
1420
01:19:48,082 --> 01:19:52,086
我…我想吐啊
1421
01:19:53,320 --> 01:19:56,857
小萱，我真的不能够接受啊
1422
01:19:56,890 --> 01:19:57,958
我连提都不能提啊
1423
01:19:58,125 --> 01:19:59,693
你给我点温暖吧，给我一点温暖好不好？
1424
01:19:59,793 --> 01:20:01,962
我好冷，给我一点温暖
1425
01:20:04,665 --> 01:20:05,332
怎么了
1426
01:20:05,666 --> 01:20:07,001
吃点东西，暖暖胃
1427
01:20:16,944 --> 01:20:18,846
你不是说去餐厅吃夜宵吗？
1428
01:20:19,046 --> 01:20:20,381
楼上有一间更棒
1429
01:20:22,916 --> 01:20:23,984
等等…
1430
01:20:24,184 --> 01:20:25,252
满了
1431
01:20:27,287 --> 01:20:28,622
老恭
1432
01:20:28,655 --> 01:20:31,892
几年没见，长成大姑娘了
1433
01:20:32,393 --> 01:20:33,627
她是谁？
1434
01:20:33,660 --> 01:20:35,295
我是他女朋友
1435
01:20:35,896 --> 01:20:37,898
请等等…
1436
01:20:38,699 --> 01:20:40,100
哈啰，老恭
1437
01:20:40,801 --> 01:20:41,969
她又是谁
1438
01:20:42,202 --> 01:20:44,204
我是他得了便宜卖乖的女朋友
1439
01:20:44,805 --> 01:20:46,640
等等
1440
01:20:46,840 --> 01:20:48,075
老恭？
1441
01:20:48,776 --> 01:20:50,277
你，你是谁
1442
01:20:50,511 --> 01:20:52,346
我是他一夜情的女朋友
1443
01:20:53,347 --> 01:20:54,848
等等…
1444
01:20:54,948 --> 01:20:56,684
哈啰，老恭
1445
01:20:58,052 --> 01:20:59,887
初恋情人
1446
01:21:00,721 --> 01:21:02,389
等等…
1447
01:21:02,890 --> 01:21:03,957
老恭
1448
01:21:05,225 --> 01:21:06,393
你
1449
01:21:06,593 --> 01:21:08,429
他暗恋我啊
1450
01:21:08,829 --> 01:21:11,065
等等…
1451
01:21:13,901 --> 01:21:16,136
老恭，你在这就好了
1452
01:21:16,370 --> 01:21:17,871
怎么这么巧啊？
1453
01:21:17,971 --> 01:21:18,972
是啊
1454
01:21:20,441 --> 01:21:21,342
这个？
1455
01:21:21,575 --> 01:21:23,477
这真的不关我的事啊
1456
01:21:26,580 --> 01:21:28,482
老恭
1457
01:21:32,152 --> 01:21:35,322
他就是教我做咖喱鸡的那个
1458
01:21:36,690 --> 01:21:39,193
铃铃响了，请出去
1459
01:21:41,061 --> 01:21:42,229
我不是叫你
1460
01:21:48,769 --> 01:21:51,005
你今天怎么这么厉害？
1461
01:21:51,205 --> 01:21:53,707
我今天一定要赢你一次
1462
01:21:53,741 --> 01:21:54,975
不要乱来，不要…
1463
01:21:55,242 --> 01:21:55,976
不要
1464
01:21:56,176 --> 01:21:57,511
不行
1465
01:21:59,914 --> 01:22:02,416
老头，我就不让你赢
1466
01:22:02,650 --> 01:22:03,985
就让我赢一次也行吧
1467
01:22:04,185 --> 01:22:05,019
不行
1468
01:22:05,253 --> 01:22:06,654
不能让你赢，是要你一辈子不舒服
1469
01:22:13,160 --> 01:22:15,563
我拿给你…
1470
01:22:19,567 --> 01:22:22,570
老恭，你过来
1471
01:22:22,770 --> 01:22:25,439
我有话跟你说，你喝…
1472
01:22:28,476 --> 01:22:32,713
这些话在我心里憋了多少年了，想告诉你
1473
01:22:36,417 --> 01:22:40,488
其实你们三兄弟中，我最疼你
1474
01:22:41,289 --> 01:22:43,624
因为你跟我最像
1475
01:22:43,891 --> 01:22:45,726
都是那么帅
1476
01:22:50,598 --> 01:22:55,336
其实我年轻的时候和你一样也是风流潇洒
1477
01:22:55,870 --> 01:22:58,873
有一双充满魅力的眼睛
1478
01:23:03,544 --> 01:23:05,713
你很像我
1479
01:23:06,047 --> 01:23:08,382
可是越大呢
1480
01:23:08,883 --> 01:23:11,452
你越跟我作对
1481
01:23:12,119 --> 01:23:15,356
这大概也是像我吧
1482
01:23:19,594 --> 01:23:22,430
我对你不起
1483
01:23:22,997 --> 01:23:28,669
没好好的教你，把你搞到神经了
1484
01:23:31,005 --> 01:23:34,342
你知不知道很多时候我希望
1485
01:23:35,176 --> 01:23:38,412
神经病的是我而不是你
1486
01:23:41,148 --> 01:23:43,050
早点睡吧
1487
01:24:12,547 --> 01:24:13,781
老爸怎么这么说话
1488
01:24:14,081 --> 01:24:16,651
把人家的眼泪都弄出来了
1489
01:24:19,420 --> 01:24:21,923
老恭，怎么啦？
1490
01:24:25,760 --> 01:24:27,662
老爸，我对不起你
1491
01:24:27,828 --> 01:24:28,996
是爸爸对你不起啊
1492
01:24:29,197 --> 01:24:30,932
不是的
1493
01:24:31,098 --> 01:24:34,435
其实我没得神经病
1494
01:24:36,804 --> 01:24:37,972
大哥，说实话
1495
01:24:38,172 --> 01:24:40,174
我真是走投无路才装疯卖傻的
1496
01:24:40,341 --> 01:24:42,076
但我不想再骗你们了
1497
01:24:42,243 --> 01:24:44,812
我不要你们的基金了，我以后要自力更生
1498
01:24:45,146 --> 01:24:47,481
他病患的太厉害了，一定要叫医生来看看
1499
01:24:47,515 --> 01:24:48,850
喂 我去把护士找来
1500
01:24:49,083 --> 01:24:51,419
二哥，你身在福中不知福啊
1501
01:24:51,452 --> 01:24:53,988
小倩是个好姑娘，快把她追回来吧
1502
01:24:54,288 --> 01:24:56,190
他真的没疯啊 当然没有
1503
01:24:56,357 --> 01:24:57,425
我老婆走了
1504
01:24:57,458 --> 01:24:58,426
贤淑她留书告别了
1505
01:24:58,593 --> 01:24:59,827
我叫她走的
1506
01:25:00,094 --> 01:25:00,928
你干嘛叫她走？
1507
01:25:01,128 --> 01:25:03,965
大嫂也是个好嫂子 你干嘛冤枉她偷男人？
1508
01:25:04,031 --> 01:25:05,032
那她到哪去了？
1509
01:25:05,266 --> 01:25:06,767
我说你浪漫点行不行？
1510
01:25:06,834 --> 01:25:09,003
明天到长洲看日出就会看到她了
1511
01:25:09,270 --> 01:25:11,105
那还等什么？赶快上长洲去
1512
01:25:11,205 --> 01:25:12,707
去…
1513
01:25:13,841 --> 01:25:15,076
你也去啊
1514
01:25:15,276 --> 01:25:16,110
那你呢？
1515
01:25:16,210 --> 01:25:19,213
现在是半夜两点多钟，我等有船才去啊
1516
01:25:19,313 --> 01:25:20,481
那你这回真的是好了
1517
01:25:20,515 --> 01:25:21,048
拜拜
1518
01:25:29,423 --> 01:25:33,427
老婆，我终于赶上和你一起看日出了
1519
01:25:34,061 --> 01:25:35,897
我能不能问你一个问题？
1520
01:25:36,130 --> 01:25:37,031
问吧
1521
01:25:37,164 --> 01:25:39,901
你是不是特意穿上这件开叉的裙子 来看日出
1522
01:25:40,334 --> 01:25:42,170
你记不记今天是什么日子？
1523
01:25:42,303 --> 01:25:43,704
今天？
1524
01:25:44,238 --> 01:25:45,740
是我们结婚纪念日
1525
01:25:45,806 --> 01:25:48,643
我特意去买这条裙子，是要穿给你看的
1526
01:25:50,878 --> 01:25:53,714
老婆，你真的很漂亮
1527
01:25:53,781 --> 01:25:55,616
连牙都镶上了
1528
01:25:55,716 --> 01:25:57,552
所以我决定放三个月大假
1529
01:25:57,652 --> 01:26:01,055
然后我们就去拍喜马拉雅山和金字塔
1530
01:26:01,289 --> 01:26:04,025
我们要去世界每一个角落去看不同的日出
1531
01:26:04,258 --> 01:26:05,493
真的？
1532
01:26:06,861 --> 01:26:11,699
小倩，你不是说月底 可以拿五万块回来吗？
1533
01:26:12,934 --> 01:26:14,502
要五万块就没有了
1534
01:26:14,535 --> 01:26:18,539
但是我学到一样东西，比五万块更重要的
1535
01:26:18,973 --> 01:26:20,641
你学到了什么？
1536
01:26:20,741 --> 01:26:22,577
叫包装
1537
01:26:22,743 --> 01:26:23,578
小倩
1538
01:26:23,744 --> 01:26:24,645
你来干嘛？
1539
01:26:24,812 --> 01:26:28,049
我…来帮你包装的
1540
01:26:29,050 --> 01:26:30,718
我们也是来帮你们包装的
1541
01:26:30,818 --> 01:26:31,819
老先生
1542
01:26:32,119 --> 01:26:34,522
你就是小倩的妈了，是吧？
1543
01:26:34,555 --> 01:26:35,223
是啊…
1544
01:26:35,489 --> 01:26:36,891
我就是小非他们的爸爸
1545
01:26:37,191 --> 01:26:38,092
老先生，你好
1546
01:26:38,292 --> 01:26:40,027
坐…别客气
1547
01:26:40,761 --> 01:26:42,763
月底到，交房租了
1548
01:26:42,864 --> 01:26:44,932
你干嘛这样嚣张你？
1549
01:26:45,166 --> 01:26:48,503
老弟，我除了收租之外还收人命
1550
01:26:49,670 --> 01:26:52,673
这个动作做两次了，无谓重复自己
1551
01:26:52,907 --> 01:26:54,575
是吗？不觉得
1552
01:26:54,675 --> 01:26:56,677
不觉得才危险啊
1553
01:26:57,945 --> 01:27:01,516
老兄，这有张支票，请你收下
1554
01:27:02,817 --> 01:27:05,553
请你看看，有多没少
1555
01:27:05,686 --> 01:27:06,587
收下吧
1556
01:27:06,754 --> 01:27:07,588
那谢谢你了
1557
01:27:07,722 --> 01:27:09,056
慢走… 再见
1558
01:27:11,058 --> 01:27:13,794
老爸，你太客气了
1559
01:27:14,662 --> 01:27:19,166
我把一条沾有母狗春情分泌物的手巾
1560
01:27:19,433 --> 01:27:21,102
放在他口袋里了
1561
01:27:21,202 --> 01:27:22,937
十五分钟之后
1562
01:27:23,070 --> 01:27:24,805
全长洲的公狗
1563
01:27:24,972 --> 01:27:29,544
都会对这个人形母狗发生兴趣的
1564
01:27:30,244 --> 01:27:32,813
原来你把春药当白花油啊
1565
01:27:38,719 --> 01:27:40,288
这么精彩的场面一定要拍下来
1566
01:27:40,521 --> 01:27:41,856
有没有相机？
1567
01:27:41,889 --> 01:27:43,090
回去拿
1568
01:27:43,824 --> 01:27:45,159
拍点特写回来
1569
01:27:45,960 --> 01:27:49,030
麻烦你帮我们交租，真是不好意思
1570
01:27:49,197 --> 01:27:51,365
没关系，都是自己人嘛
1571
01:27:51,599 --> 01:27:52,767
什么自己人？
1572
01:27:52,967 --> 01:27:55,870
本来我想在隔壁开一间烤鸭店
1573
01:27:56,070 --> 01:27:58,973
现在我有一个提议，把中间那堵墙折掉它
1574
01:27:59,207 --> 01:28:02,610
咱们大家齐心合力，搞好包装
1575
01:28:02,643 --> 01:28:04,378
打垮那个洋鬼子店
1576
01:28:04,612 --> 01:28:06,013
好啊
1577
01:28:11,118 --> 01:28:17,024
好了，大哥也成双，二哥也成对
1578
01:28:19,927 --> 01:28:23,931
而我到现在竟然还一个也找不到，失败
1579
01:28:32,306 --> 01:28:33,641
请问有位子没有
1580
01:28:33,674 --> 01:28:35,009
外面排队拿号码
1581
01:28:35,209 --> 01:28:36,944
有什么优待吗？
1582
01:28:38,713 --> 01:28:41,616
好了…优待你做老板娘了，好不好？
1583
01:28:41,749 --> 01:28:43,317
去排队吧
1584
01:28:43,584 --> 01:28:45,152
有没有优待？
1585
01:28:50,324 --> 01:28:51,893
星爷吗？恭喜你
1586
01:28:51,959 --> 01:28:53,694
最近忙什么？
1587
01:28:53,794 --> 01:28:55,863
星爷吗？星爷在那边
1588
01:28:56,697 --> 01:28:58,432
大吉大利
1589
01:28:59,100 --> 01:29:01,102
我知道大吉大利啊，杨宝玲了不起
1590
01:29:01,369 --> 01:29:02,870
这是我三弟老恭
1591
01:29:08,075 --> 01:29:13,080
黄百鸣、张坚庭、周星驰、波神、吴倩莲
1592
01:29:13,247 --> 01:29:15,249
你怎么请那么多的明星来啊？
1593
01:29:15,416 --> 01:29:17,818
他们全都是我以前的客人嘛
1594
01:29:17,952 --> 01:29:19,854
今天特意到这儿来捧场
1595
01:29:20,054 --> 01:29:23,224
咦，汤告鲁斯、茱莉亚罗伯丝
1596
01:29:23,424 --> 01:29:25,159
安东尼奥班德拉斯
1597
01:29:25,259 --> 01:29:27,995
和英女王没来之外
1598
01:29:28,062 --> 01:29:29,730
差不多的全都来齐
1599
01:29:30,164 --> 01:29:31,399
还有呢
1600
01:29:31,632 --> 01:29:34,035
你看那边，那边是谁啊？
1601
01:29:34,836 --> 01:29:35,837
老老板
1602
01:29:35,970 --> 01:29:36,804
恭喜…
1603
01:29:36,938 --> 01:29:38,005
谢谢…
1604
01:29:38,139 --> 01:29:39,473
你老爸和你的弟弟们呢？
1605
01:29:39,774 --> 01:29:40,441
在里面招待客人了
1606
01:29:40,708 --> 01:29:41,943
我去找你老爸了
1607
01:30:15,943 --> 01:30:17,945
这么多人看见你们乱糟糟的干嘛
1608
01:30:18,079 --> 01:30:20,081
你说什么？你们看看，你们看见了吧？
1609
01:30:20,281 --> 01:30:21,949
你跟我装傻子是不是啊？
1610
01:30:22,049 --> 01:30:23,384
你不要把我当傻子
1611
01:30:33,094 --> 01:30:34,161
她是你女朋友？
1612
01:30:34,362 --> 01:30:35,429
你不是“基” 的吗？
1613
01:30:35,696 --> 01:30:36,931
你怎么这样说大哥
1614
01:30:36,998 --> 01:30:40,735
说我“基” 神经病啊
1615
01:30:49,810 --> 01:30:53,314
我，对不起…
1616
01:30:57,418 --> 01:30:58,819
真会吃样
1617
01:30:59,053 --> 01:31:02,390
左右挥…，你又左右，右
1618
01:31:05,793 --> 01:31:08,296
有没有…
1619
01:31:10,698 --> 01:31:11,532
二嫂
1620
01:31:11,699 --> 01:31:13,534
大嫂你，大嫂110816
