All language subtitles for suburgatory.s02e13.1080p.web.h264-failed_track3_[eng]

(Tessa)
At Chatswin High,
most guys phoned it in

giving their GFs the
usual Valentine's Day crap.

But for one lonely soul
who lost his true love..

♪ When ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ Had you ♪

♪ I treated you bad ♪

♪ Don't you know I sit around ♪

♪ With my head hangin' down ♪

♪ And I wonder ♪

♪ Who's.. ♪♪

If you think exploiting
my love for Smokey Robinson

and life-sized doll-making

is gonna make me forget
what you did? You're..

Lisa, you think I wanted
your mom to see me naked?

It was an accident!

Baby, can't you see
the tracks of my tears?

I'm...I'm prepared to
sing that one, too!

Actually, I don't...
I don't have that sheet music.

[theme music]

♪ Last night I had
a pleasant nightmare ♪

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da-da ♪♪

Even though it's a
cheesy commercial holiday

I had to admit having my own
doting Valentine felt good.

I see you got my card.

I'm still awaiting your reply.

Mm..."Y."

"Y"? "Y"!

I knew she'd say "Y"!
She said "Y"!

Here's the thing.

Um, I overheard you
talking about going

to Cody Bufford's
valentines...rager?

Rager.

Rager!

Yeah. Cody's mom
has super low self-esteem

and said she's buy us
a keg of beer

if we all wear these T-shirts.

Uh...wouldn't it
be more romantic

to spend Valentine's Day just
the two of us?

Just the two of us?
Doing what?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

There's a movie playing
at this art house theater

and I've been dying to see it.
Tonight is the last night.

Don't those art house movies
have a lot of, like, dialogue?

Well, according to NPR,
this one is thrilling.

They gave it two quills up.

It's called "Sea of Anguish."

Oh, is it based on
a water park ride?

I tend to respond to movies
based on water park rides.

No, I think it's less of a ride

and more of a moody,
elliptical fever dream.

But they have really good
caramel corn.

Or gummi bears?

Caramel corn and gummi bears?

- Yeah? Cool.
- Yeah. Okay.

Ryan and I weren't
the only ones

with big plans
for Valentine's Day.

George was preparing to sweep
Dallas off her feet.

Hi.
Uh, George Altman.

I just wanted to confirm
my reservation

for the Valentine's
dinner tonight.

Yes. Mr. Altman.

You're one of the lucky
few to have secured a spot.

Okay.

Oh, and I see you opted

for the 18-course
premium package.

Well, yeah, actually

it's my first Valentine's
with my girlfriend

so I kind of wanna
make it special.

Oh, it will be.

Somehow, we convinced
Chef Julio Proust

to grace us with his
muscular, innovative cooking.

As a Valentine's special

'he's prepared a first course'

'of paper-thin slices
of pig's heart'

drizzled in a sauce
of its own blood.

Wow.

Yummers.

Oh.

- Mommy?
- No! No! No!

Mommy, was that you?

Uh, Dalia, it is me,
but it isn't me.

It's too hard to explain.

Mommy, you're scaring me. Why
are you hiding?

Okay. Well, have you ever
heard of blowtox?

'A new injectable derived from
the deadly Japanese blowfish?'

No.

'How bad is it?'

Tell me I don't need to cancel
my date with George tonight.

Remember that guy in Florida

who got his entire face
eaten off by an alligator

and then had reconstructive
surgery

and then when the picture
surfaced

everyone was like "Wait,
this is after the surgery?

What the hell did he look
like before the surgery?"

'Yeah?'

Well, if that guy had a
baby with the elephant man

and that baby got really old

and then something on
that baby got infected

that would be you.

Ugh. Well, thanks
for your honesty.

Ugh.

Mommy, you're really disgusting.

Hello, sweetheart.

Mother. You're a little early.

And by a little,
I mean a whole day.

Oh, Sheila
You and your schedules.

It's so confining.

- I changed my mind.
- Well..

How 'bout that?

You should try it sometime.

Is that my Gam Gam?

Oh, there's my boy.
Give me some lovin'.

Oh, look at you.
You're so skinny.

Well...I gotta put my arms
around you.

Oh! He's all ribs,
like a greyhound.

Well, I do play cardio
ping-pong once a week

with the boys
down at the club.

Honey, don't worry.

Tonight, you are gonna feast
like the king that you are.

Oh, no, no, mother. I have a
whole Valentine's menu planned.

- 'I am making chicken breasts.'
- Ooh.

'Generously seasoned
with paprika.'

- Mmm.
- Oh, Fred.

You can have
those skinny breasts anytime.

How does a thick,
juicy rib eye sound?

The woman brings meat across
state lines.

How can you not love that?

You married the wrong woman,
Fred Shay.

She just loves waltzing
into my home

in those senior stilettos

acting like she showed up
a day early by accident.

That was no accident.

She wants to ruin
my Valentine's Day.

And watching your father
lap up the attention..

got to admit, big turnoff.

Not the least bit aroused.

Not gonna be no nookie tonight
for Fred.

Okay, mother, please?

You'll notice I am
indulging not in chocolate

but in a lengthy biography
of George Washington

because the only February
holiday I celebrate

is Presidents' Day.

'Fair maiden!'

'Forsooth I do beg your
forbearance!'

Whilst thou lend a gentle ear?

♪ With a hey nonny nonny
and a hey nonny hey ♪

♪ And a hey nonny nonny
and a.. ♪

If he thinks that he can exploit

my fondness of 16th-century
folklore

he's got another think coming.

I told you the intro
was too long.

No, no. You need
the "Hey nonny nonnys."

They...they set the mood.

Lisa, that little cocoa puff
out there is cuckoo for you.

Maybe you should
at least hear him out.

Don't you have anything
better to do on Valentine's Day

than try to control my life?

As a matter of fact, I do.

Tonight, your father and I are
going to be learning to tango.

The Alfred Himmelsbock way.

Adios.

I hope you are ready to
suck the marrow out of life

and I mean that quite literally.

I hear this chef works a lot
with marrow.

Oh, I'm afraid
I'm in no position

to suck anything tonight,
George.

What? What...what's going on?

It's Dalia.

She's under the weather.

'Are you sure?
Dalia's pretty tough.'

And it's Valentine's Day.

'Oh, but she's projectile
vomiting.'

I think I saw a crucifix
in there.

She's either sick or possessed.

Either way,
I'm in for the night.

'Okay, say no more.'

I don't care how expensive or
non-refundable that meal is

your child comes first.

I'll make it up to you,
I promise.

Bailed on V-Day?

Yeah. Hey..

You don't feel like
sharing 18 courses

of award-winning cuisine
with me?

Well, I would,
but I have a hot date.

Oh.

[violin music]

Ha!

Ha!

You'll never believe it.

Turns out Gam Gam has
been taking tango lessons

at the senior center.

Except that none of
those old crones

can move like Alfredo can.

He's a natural.

What about our tapes?

You're not upset, are you?

Initially, she was. But then,
in that very moment

Sheila realized
what Lisa must have felt

every time her mother
made Malik a sandwich

gave him a pound,
locked it and exploded it

or made some poorly drawn
reference to a Wayans.

Just like Gam Gam,
Sheila had been cutting in

and she shouldn't have been.

- 'Mother. Mother.'
- 'Lover. Lover.'

So that movie
I was so excited about

turned out to be a total drag.

I mean, there wasn't enough
caramel corn in the world.

And if it was bad for me

I could only imagine how
much Ryan was suffering.

Hey. You doing okay?

- 'Mother.'
- 'Lover. Lover.'

Not really.

- 'Mother.'
- 'Lover.'

- 'Lover.'
- It's just so..

Confusing?
Pretentious? Terrible?

There are lots of things
I thought he would say.

But not one of them was..

Beautiful.

It's so beautiful.

Oh, hey, buddy.

Okay, so listen,
here's the thing.

Due to some unforeseen stuff

I'm gonna need my meal to go.

To go?

Yeah. I know there's no refund

so if you could just,
you know, wrap it up for me.

Wrap it up?

Are you just gonna keep
repeating what I say, or..

- Sir.
- What?

Chef Julio's 18-course menu
isn't a meal.

'It's an experience.'

'Like scaling an icy glacier'

'or swimming with an endangered
sea turtle.'

Now how on earth
would I wrap that up...to go?

In 18 little bags?

Okay, listen, I am not
a man who's accustomed

to paying $600 for anything
I can't drive around in

so I'm having trouble just
walking away from this.

And in such a comfortable shoe.

Ha ha.
You know what?

On second thought,
I guess I'm eating for two.

If you don't mind.

I had no idea that his
ghost was gonna come back

for 45 minutes as an eel.

Was that an eel?

Wait. You didn't love the movie?

I didn't love that movie.

I didn't like that movie, even a
little bit.

I thought it was terrible.

I'm sorry I suggested it.

How can you say that?
It changed my life.

It..

There was a 5-minute part

that was nothing
but the little boy

staring at a dead fish.

That dead fish
was the boy's mother.

How do you know that?

How do you not know that?

Valentine's Day was slipping
through our fingers.

Unless Ryan and I could
find some common ground.

Hey, how do you.. how do you
feel about stopping by Cody's?

I could.. I could really
use a rager right now.

Come on. We can..

...tell his mom
how sexy she is.

You go ahead.

I feel like walking the earth.

[instrumental music]

[siren wailing at distance]

It's been a while, Mrs. Shay.

Indeed it has.

Indeed it has.

You're amazing, Mrs. Shay.

Easy, Malik. Take it easy.

I missed your chicken salad
so much.

I've missed giving it to you.

There's only one thing
I've missed more than this.

It's Lisa.

I know.

And I know what you need
to do to get her back.

Sheila and Malik
weren't the only ones

avoiding being seen.

Dallas was spending her
Valentine's Day

hiding in the shadows.

'Hello?'

- 'Dallas?'
- Tessa, is that you?

It's really dark in here.
Do you mind if I..

Freeze!

I'm just not in the
mood for direct lighting.

Okay. I was on a date
with Ryan tonight.

And the whole thing was my idea

but I realized halfway
through I didn't like it

and he really liked it

and he got all mad at me
because I wasn't into it.

If we're talkin' about what
I think we're talkin' about

if they can't get you
there even once

their whole world
comes crashing down.

And it's like, we understand.

I'm talking about a movie.

Oh. Then I don't know
what his problem is.

Just because we didn't have
the same exact experience

he got mad and he walked away.

And now I'm alone
on Valentine's Day.

Y'all are discovering
you have differences.

That doesn't mean it's the end.

It means it's a beginning.

- It does?
- Yes.

You're learning
how to navigate

through the lumps and the
bumps and the flaky parts

and the...swollen sections

filled with fluids,
just beggin' to be lanced.

Okay. Now you're scaring me.

What I'm trying to say is, go
find your man.

I will if you will.

You know what? You're right.

George would love me

whether I looked
like Charlize Theron

or Charlize Theron in "Monster."

Right?

And you tried icing it?

Whoo. That was a workout.

I'll tell you, Fred Shay,
you have the tango touch.

Well. What have we here?

In keeping with the Spanish
theme of our evening

I have made some mini churros
with chocolate sauce.

Mrs. Shay. What decadence.

'Keep it in your pants, Fred.
They're oven-baked.'

Though I did use a heavy
hand on the cinnamon shaker.

- So..
- Ow!

I think all that abrazo-ing
is causing me to cramp up.

Oh, sorry, honey.
Excuse me. Allow me.

- Oh! Boy.
- Is it too deep?

Nope. You get in there, Gam Gam.

Oh, you dig as deep as you dare.

Oh, that's the stuff.

[doorbell rings]

Aah.

Ooh.

Malik. What a surprise.

'Oh.'

Oh.. Oh, yes.

Sheila wasn't the only
one losing her appetite.

'Aah..'

For your 15th course

we present a pork belly
and veal tongue hash

finished with shards of
micro-beak

in a freshly lambed foam.

Lambed? Did you..

It's a verb? Lambed? "To lamb?"

- Who lambed it?
- 'I did.'

I lambed it this morning.

[intense music]

It was an honor to watch you
lamb it.

You're very lucky.

You're very lucky.

Guys, my girl used to
look at me just like that.

Made me feel like number one.
Right? It feels good.

Yeah, but tonight,
she totally...bailed on me

so here I am feeling
like number two.

[laughs]

'Right? Did you get it?
Number two?'

- We get it.
- Yeah.

Okay. Don't mind me.
I'm just drunk and lonely.

George.

Hey! That's her.
That's my girlfriend.

The most beautiful girl
in the world.

Shh. Shh.

Underneath the bag.

George. George, come here.

Hey.

Hey, I didn't wanna
leave you here all alone.

But let's just slip out
without making a scene.

Okay. Hey, take a good look,
folks! But hands off!

This sweet gal is mine!

Come on.

This better be good, mother. I
just got to the valley forge

section and there is a riveting
passage about gangrene.

Hey, Lisa.

Mother, would you please show
this gentleman to the door

and tell him that I do not
wish to be disturbed again?

Young lady,
I think you have shown

quite enough attitude today.

Now if you can't
be polite to Malik

then I am gonna take away
your library privileges.

You know what, Mrs. Shay?

Maybe you should back off.

Excuse me?

I'm sick of hearing the
way you talk to Lisa.

She doesn't deserve that tone.
Nobody does.

I hardly think it is your place

to tell me how to
talk to my own daughter.

You know what?
That's where you're wrong.

You're the one who's
always putting your nose

where it doesn't belong,
like in our relationship.

You know what else?

Your "Chicken salad"? Yeah,
it ain't all that, mama.

Well, if that is how you feel
then I agree with Lisa.

You'd better go. You are no
longer welcome in my home

Mr. Lafrique.

Hey.

I thought you were
out walking the earth.

I came looking for you.

It is Valentine's Day.

This couch is wet.

That's 'cause Cody's mom threw
up on it a few minutes ago.

I'm sorry I walked out on you.

If that movie taught me
anything

it's that we have to
forgive those in the darkness

who don't yet see the light.

Yeah.

And..

I know, in a surprise turn
of events

that you liked
that movie and I didn't.

But maybe that's hat
makes us a cool couple.

We're unpredictable.

Yeah.

And we're both
super good looking.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Okay. So.. What was that part

where the masked guy is bowing
to the horse statue about?

That was about war.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

What about the monkey running
through the art museum?

That was about freedom.

Whoa. Who knew?

Oh, man.

I think I exceeded the daily
allowance

of animal colon tonight.

You know what? I know I did.

Okay. Easy does it.
Almost there.

Dallas, you know I mean this

in the most respectful way
possible

but you're kind of reminding me
of a serial killer right now.

You gotta show me
what's under the bag.

I will. I just wanna make
sure you don't freak out first.

I ate digestive tract
tonight, okay?

Nothing's gonna
make me freak out.

Just tell me what's going on.

Okay. I had a...procedure

that went a bit awry.

How awry?

Uh..

Okay.

Wow.

What did..

Okay.

You know..

Ooh, wow.

It's bad, isn't it?

It's really bad.

You...you don't have to
change yourself.

Anything about yourself,
you're...to me

you're so sexy, and...and..

And beautiful, and..
Oh, God.

- George?
- Mm-hmm.

You were just tellin' me
that I'm sexy and beautiful.

I...I was, and I will, just..

Oh, God, this isn't
about you, I swear.

It's all the intestines
in my...intestines.

Excuse me.

Are you sure it's not me?

Love, thankfully, is resilient.

It can continue to thrive

in the most unlikely
circumstances.

Malik?

Hey.

Um..

Thanks for standing up
to my mother.

It felt really good
to have you on my side.

And if you're still willing
to give us another chance..

...I want to.

- Really?
- Really.

Happy almost-Presidents' Day.

[instrumental music]

Mr. Shay?

In tango, one doesn't ask.
One takes.

But what about mi madre?

Screw Gam Gam.

I told her she can
stick her rib eye

where the sun don't shine.

Well, not literally, of course.

I told her goodnight and that
I'd miss her

and to have a safe trip, and
let us know she get in okay.

But she knew what I meant.

[instrumental music]