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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,919
Eek.
2
00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:04,170
Ugh.
3
00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:05,588
Okay, you can go ahead
and rinse.
4
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,465
I've seen all
I need to see here.
5
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:08,758
Your wisdom teeth.
6
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,218
Those puppies need to come out.
7
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,594
But they don't hurt.
8
00:00:11,636 --> 00:00:13,013
It's preventative.
9
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,015
So then wouldn't that be
like amputating your arm
10
00:00:15,056 --> 00:00:17,434
so that you don't
break it one day?
11
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,476
Who sent you here?
12
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,561
Give me one good reason
13
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:21,062
to pull four teeth!
14
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,732
Tessa, your dad
asked me to assess
15
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,609
whether or not your wisdom
teeth needed to come out.
16
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:29,487
I'm assessing that they do.
Now rinse.
17
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,573
Well, I don't really need
to rinse after an assessment.
18
00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:34,034
You will rinse, and when
I say rinse, you rinse!
19
00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,493
(female #1)
'Okay, let's see.'
20
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,704
We can get you in
tomorrow morning
21
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,205
on junior secretary's day.
22
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,331
Oh, darn.
23
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,583
I had really big plans
24
00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,376
for junior secretary's day.
25
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,795
Just because we do
sub-secretarial work
26
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:47,464
doesn't mean we're subhuman.
27
00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:49,340
You'll have your day
tomorrow, Greta.
28
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,884
Stand down.
29
00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:52,677
Here's your reminder card, hon.
30
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:53,845
We will see you tomorrow.
31
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,513
You may see me tomorrow
32
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,766
if I decide to have the surgery
which I haven't yet.
33
00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,476
Okay.
34
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,186
Bye, Greta.
35
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:05,065
And now, salesman of the year
for a record five years running
36
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:08,151
the one, the only,
the killer in khakis.
37
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,445
Fred Sha-a-ay!
38
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:11,529
Whoo!
39
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,573
Whoo! Mm! Mm!
40
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,492
Well, gang,
I am off to beautiful
41
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,660
sunny Cranston, Rhode Island.
42
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:18,912
I don't know why
they even bother
43
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:20,246
with this contest anymore.
44
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,874
They just end up
sending you every darn year.
45
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,126
Well, I'll be back Thursday.
Group hug.
46
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,711
- Aw. Mmm.
- Mmm.
47
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,255
Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. Mm!
48
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:32,967
Lisa, you may wanna consider
using a stronger deodorant.
49
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,636
(Tessa)
When something
is painfully boring
50
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,429
people say
it's like pulling teeth.
51
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,598
To determine the subject
of tomorrow's
52
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,059
in-class essay, each pupil will
53
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,727
'have a chance to take a spin'
54
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:47,190
on the thrilling,
say it with me, wheel of..
55
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,483
Topics!
56
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,859
Oral surgery might
57
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:50,944
be a nice alternative
58
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:52,362
to whatever in-class essay
59
00:01:52,403 --> 00:01:54,072
the wheel of topics
would bring.
60
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:57,158
Tessa Altman, come on down!
61
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,164
Not medieval armor and weapons.
62
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,125
Please, not medieval armor
and weapons.
63
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:09,796
- Yes.
- Oh!
64
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,924
Look at that!
"Eleanor of Aquitaine!"
65
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,801
"You're welcome"
66
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,136
quoth the wheel.
67
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,679
Well, here's the thing,
Mr. Simpkin.
68
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,305
I'm gonna be out of school
tomorrow due to some
69
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,890
emergency oral surgery
70
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,976
I just decided I'm having
71
00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:26,813
so Eleanor of Aquitaine..
72
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,356
...uh, she might
just have to wait.
73
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,649
Oh.
74
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,818
- 'It's us.'
- 'I see that.'
75
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,236
We were sitting on the couch.
76
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,654
I remember.
77
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,489
Exactly as we are right now.
78
00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,366
Well, our love of sitting on
79
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,910
couches has been immortalized.
80
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,246
- I love it.
- I hope I'm not rushing things.
81
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,915
But I was just hoping we were
at the point of joint decor.
82
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:49,169
- Is that French for no return?
- No, silly.
83
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,379
It just means the point where we
can start leaving things
84
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,463
at each other's places.
85
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,506
Ah.
86
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,008
Unless you don't feel like
87
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:56,718
we're ready for joint decor.
88
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,219
No, we absolutely are.
89
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,013
In fact, I have
a funky old washcloth
90
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:02,098
I was hoping to leave
in your guest bath.
91
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,808
See, you're teasing,
but I'm trying
92
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,019
to take all this here
to the next level.
93
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:09,063
Oh. Well,
thank you, sweetheart.
94
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,983
I will put it
in a place of honor. Ahem.
95
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,276
Do you have to be somewhere?
96
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,486
Oh, no, sorry. I-I'm just..
97
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,488
I'm bracing myself
for an argument with Tessa.
98
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,282
She's supposed to get her
wisdom teeth out tomorrow.
99
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,326
But Noah says she's refusing.
100
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,369
She says it's unnecessary.
101
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,205
Initially, Dalia said
the same thing
102
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,916
about collagen treatments,
but I got her to come around.
103
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,542
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Tessa.
104
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,877
Good luck getting
your wisdom teeth out
105
00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,754
tomorrow, girl.
I'll bring you a milkshake.
106
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,297
Sounds good.
107
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,424
Told you she'd come around.
108
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,718
[theme song]
109
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,137
♪ Last night I had ♪
110
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,681
♪ A pleasant nightmare ♪
111
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,142
♪ Da-da da-da da da da ♪♪
112
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,729
I mean,
the procedure's costly
113
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,522
but you know
where the real money is?
114
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,274
Big Pharma. Mm-hmm.
115
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,693
The guys pushing those
habit-forming pain meds.
116
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,570
They get the biggest payday.
117
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,906
Okay, so what made you
change your mind?
118
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,658
Eleanor of Aquitaine.
119
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,035
[screeching]
120
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,620
Did you hear that?
121
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,247
[screeching]
122
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:09,082
Sounds like it's coming
from the basement.
123
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,379
[intense music]
124
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:33,731
Oh, man. That's just great.
125
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,151
Well, look who it is.
126
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,821
Old George Altman doing
the walk of shame to his cans.
127
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:42,740
- Hey, Sheila.
- Is that rodent excrement?
128
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,492
Have you brought vermin
into Chatswin?
129
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:45,827
It's-it's okay. Don't worry.
130
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,745
I've already set
some humane traps.
131
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,956
[scoffs]
Humane traps?
132
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,542
Rats laugh
at humane traps, George.
133
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,919
And the only way
to silence their laughter
134
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,045
poison gas.
135
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,547
Poison gas? Okay.
136
00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,215
I-I won't be using
poison gas.
137
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:02,176
Don't go all wobbly
on me now, George.
138
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,345
I recently purchased
a case of rat bombs
139
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,431
from Australia on eBay.
140
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:08,391
Technically, they're
illegal here
141
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,851
but they can take out
a full-grown wallaby
142
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:11,853
in under 30 seconds.
143
00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,021
Let me go grab you one.
144
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,647
Thank you, Sheila,
but no, thank you.
145
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,357
Really. I got this.
146
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:17,650
I hope so, George
147
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,652
because I will be following up.
148
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:23,614
This is how the black plague
started! More or less!
149
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,783
The next morning,
George had a more pressing
150
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,327
crisis to deal with.
151
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,787
One that involved
general anesthesia.
152
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:33,124
[slow motion]
How's my girl?
153
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,293
[slow motion]
She's great, huh?
154
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,045
Dad.
155
00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:39,547
'Oh. You came for me.'
156
00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,924
I love you.
157
00:05:47,388 --> 00:05:49,223
Did anybody follow you here?
158
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,601
What? What is she
talking about?
159
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,936
Dad, I'm talking about
160
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,813
the wisdom teeth
conspiracy thing.
161
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:59,192
And I'm not even talking
about our government.
162
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:02,904
I'm talking about...theirs.
163
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,198
Okay, Tessa, sweetheart,
you're drooling blood.
164
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:07,575
Is this reaction
to the medication normal?
165
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,619
You know, not really.
166
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:13,122
Uh, I, you know, I'm 80% certain
that she's gonna be okay.
167
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,541
Really? 80%? That's very
reassuring. Thank you.
168
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,335
How I come by later,
check on her?
169
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,421
Sound good?
Hey! Oh, Greta!
170
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,132
How you loving those balloons,
huh? Today's your special day.
171
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,469
I cannot stand Greta.
172
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,970
I'm letting her go
at the end of the week.
173
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,806
Mm? Come on.
174
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,519
Ask yourself, George.
175
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,479
What is the one thing
that we have
176
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,481
that they don't have?
177
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,359
Teeth.
178
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,777
Teeth!
179
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,529
Have you ever seen
an alien with teeth?
180
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,865
Well, the alien in the movie
"Alien" had huge teeth.
181
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:51,411
No, I'm talking
about real aliens.
182
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,913
Not Hollywood aliens.
183
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,124
- The real guys.
- Right.
184
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,502
Get some sleep.
185
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:02,922
They're here...for our teeth.
186
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:03,965
[clattering]
187
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,508
[screeching]
188
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:08,136
Oh, man. We've got a live one.
189
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,639
Alright. Where are you?
190
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,434
[intense music]
191
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,859
[both screaming]
192
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:29,282
Fred?
193
00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:31,409
What are you doing
in my basement
194
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,494
dressed like the Tin Man?
195
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,164
I'm hiding out from Sheila
for a couple of days.
196
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:37,999
Okay. And what's
with the getup?
197
00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,835
Well, as you know, Sheila and I
share a psychic connection.
198
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,463
She's not unlike
the all-seeing Eye of Sauron.
199
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,840
This leaden apron prevents her
from peering into my soul
200
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,092
and the foil crown
scrambles my brain waves
201
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:51,512
thus retarding Sheila's ability
to read my thoughts.
202
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,139
Okay, you need to get out
of my basement.
203
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,932
I can't!
204
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,061
Winning the salesman-of-the-year
award
205
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:01,856
is the only thing I do
that she's proud of.
206
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,649
And this year you didn't win?
207
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,818
Oh, the shame, George,
the shame.
208
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,278
Fred, she's your wife.
209
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,821
She loves you.
She'll understand.
210
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,199
Just, just tell her the truth.
211
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,869
Listen to me, George.
212
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,497
At home, Sheila might enjoy
a nice house cat
213
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:20,666
to stroke and fondle
and feed from her hand.
214
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,335
But out there in the world,
she expects me
215
00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:25,379
to be a lion,
red of tooth and claw!
216
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:28,841
Honestly, George,
my nerves are shot!
217
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,593
All I've had to eat today
is a can of beans
218
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,595
and a few handfuls of gorp.
219
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,515
Mmm.
220
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,225
Please don't tell Sheila
I'm eating carob.
221
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,227
She thinks it's for liberals.
222
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,314
What's that?
223
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,774
This is Tessa's homework
224
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:46,651
and your opportunity
to be alone with her.
225
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,403
And as you can see,
I've organized it into folders
226
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:52,281
and marked it for handy
reference with color-coded tabs.
227
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,783
Yeah, I-I don't think
Tessa wants me
228
00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:55,618
to bring her this homework..
229
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,912
...in the biblical sense.
230
00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:01,457
Ever since we
made out on Christmas..
231
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,293
...I've been giving her some
space and she's been taking it.
232
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,462
This is your chance
to sweep Tessa off her feet.
233
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:07,838
Just imagine it.
234
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,131
Poor, sick Tessa
235
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,592
home alone,
vulnerable in her bed
236
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,386
and you stroll in carrying
237
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:14,804
all of this amazing homework
238
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:17,682
and Tessa, overcome,
with trembling hands
239
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:20,226
bestows upon you
the ultimate reward and--
240
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,228
Touches me where
the bathing suit covers!
241
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,105
God! No. No!
242
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,940
Why were her hands trembling?
243
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,358
From gratefulness.
244
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,111
Oh. Right. Gratefulness.
245
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,320
[bell ringing]
246
00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:36,492
[gulping]
247
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,834
Young lady, are you sure
248
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,460
that much juice is a good idea?
249
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:48,504
You'll rot your teeth.
250
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,507
Stay away from me.
251
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,384
I know exactly why you're here.
252
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,011
Look, I'm not proud
of what I'm doing
253
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,304
but it's for the best.
Trust me.
254
00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,264
I don't trust you!
255
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:01,267
Just wait until my father
finds out you've landed.
256
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,810
He knows I've landed,
and he's given me
257
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,104
his blessing to be here!
258
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:08,274
What's this?
You've captured their souls?
259
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,984
I won't let you
get away with this!
260
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,944
I am already
getting away with this!
261
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,321
So you just
keep your mouth shut!
262
00:10:13,362 --> 00:10:14,697
Oh, I'll keep it shut!
263
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:15,948
I'll keep it shut, alright!
264
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,283
You'll never get my teeth!
265
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:18,492
Oh, yes, I will!
266
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,286
Wait. What?
267
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,876
Whoa! Okay.
268
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:29,045
Did you do it, George?
Did you catch a rat?
269
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:32,506
Oh. Um...yep.
270
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:34,550
Caught him in a humane trap.
271
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,552
And then I killed him.
So he's, he's dead now.
272
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:37,762
I gotta go.
I'll-I'll see you later.
273
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,556
Several years ago, George
274
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,933
I chaperoned a coed
overnight field trip.
275
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:45,936
In preparation for that event
276
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,981
I memorized the FBI
interrogation manual.
277
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,359
- Naturally.
- You're flinchy, George.
278
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,902
- What?
- You're flinchy.
279
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:54,695
And you're displaying
all the telltale characteristics
280
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,280
of a liar.
281
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,658
You're avoiding eye contact,
you're stammering
282
00:10:58,699 --> 00:10:59,992
and you're using
your grocery bags
283
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,619
as a physical barrier
between us.
284
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,372
Uh, o-o-okay, this is crazy.
285
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,999
I-I-I'm gonna go inside now.
Okay? Bye.
286
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,668
Just remember, George.
287
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:10,419
If you're harboring a rat
288
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,296
that makes you a rat.
289
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:17,760
Knock, knock,
Dr. Werner here
290
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,680
for a little post-op check-in.
Oh, boy.
291
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:22,223
They've come for me.
292
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,767
They know I know.
293
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,560
But I'm glad you're here to see
this because you'll understand
294
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:27,770
the facts more than anybody.
295
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,147
1951, water fluoridation
296
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,941
becomes official US policy.
297
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:34,276
Hmm!
That sounds familiar, Tessa!
298
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,821
Oh, yeah. 'Cause 51
is also in "Area 51."
299
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,240
Break that down further,
five plus one equals six!
300
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,783
Six, the number of legs
on an insect
301
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,451
the number of points
on the star of David
302
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,995
the number of strings
on a standard guitar
303
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,831
the number of cans
in a six-pack
304
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,667
and the number of flags
at a theme park!
305
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,293
Oh, yeah!
306
00:11:51,335 --> 00:11:54,672
When printed
three times in a row..
307
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,425
...it's the number of the beast.
308
00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:00,177
I..
309
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:01,721
I think it's..
310
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,723
...time to start
tapering off of these.
311
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,393
Uh..
312
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,729
- Sheila knows.
- Fred, she doesn't know.
313
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,856
But you're not supposed to be up
here. Get back in the basement.
314
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:12,898
[knocking on door]
315
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,525
[gasps]
Meine fraulein!
316
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,402
Shh!
317
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,946
Okay, no. No. It's, it's
not yours.
318
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,448
Go downstairs and stay cool.
319
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:21,490
Okay.
320
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:23,951
- Hey.
- Hi, daddy.
321
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,244
Here's that shake
I promised Tessa.
322
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,579
Can I come see the patient?
323
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,539
You know what?
Now's not really a good time.
324
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,582
What? Why not?
325
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:30,666
Well, I-I'm-I'm just
326
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:31,959
a little preoccupied
327
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,252
and I think Tessa
may be resting.
328
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,920
So we'll talk later, okay?
329
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:37,465
- Well, I..
- Oh. Thanks for the milkshake.
330
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:40,259
[instrumental music]
331
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,571
I know I'm in your way,
George, and I'm sorry.
332
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,948
But that was a close call today.
I need to lay low.
333
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,743
Fred, I can't
keep doing this.
334
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,703
I lied to Sheila,
I was rude to Dallas
335
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,413
and I've got a kid
upstairs that--
336
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,333
Who doesn't need you like I do,
George! Not like I do!
337
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:13,542
[honking]
338
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,753
Oh, no.
339
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,463
- What?
- Oh, no.
340
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,716
Oh, God!
No, please, Lord!
341
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,134
What is going on?
342
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,094
How could I have been so stupid?
343
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,262
The office thinks I'm home sick!
344
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,264
It's junior secretary's day!
345
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:29,308
Junior what, now?
346
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,647
It's junior secretary's
day, George.
347
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:36,774
I'm a junior secretary.
348
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,776
I'm not the salesman
of the year.
349
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,320
They were gonna let me go,
but I convinced them to keep me.
350
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,447
Junior secretary
was the only opening they had
351
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:46,200
so I took it, George.
I took it right in the pants!
352
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,369
Oh. So you're
a junior secretary?
353
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:51,539
Yeah, I get the coffee for
the lady who gets the coffee.
354
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,582
If Sheila finds out,
my marriage is over.
355
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,251
I'll have to live
in your basement permanently.
356
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:57,378
Which is why you
have to go across the street
357
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:59,421
and steal that basket
so Sheila doesn't find out
358
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:00,881
about my secretarial work
359
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:01,924
and I don't
have to live underground
360
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,634
like a Chilean miner!
361
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,261
[sighs]
362
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,346
Now can I get you a coffee?
363
00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:13,811
Only in Chatswin
was junior secretary's day
364
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,688
an occasion that warranted
gift baskets
365
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:19,275
balloon towers, and limos
full of junior secretaries.
366
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:20,651
[all cheering]
367
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:26,365
JSD, 2013, bitches!
368
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,033
[women screaming]
369
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:33,622
No!
370
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,250
Damn it!
371
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,675
- Oh.
- Hey, Ryan.
372
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,802
Mr. Altman. What up?
373
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,721
Oh, nothing. Nothing.
374
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,264
I was just, I was just, um,
I was just looking
375
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,391
for the get-well basket
that I ordered for Tessa.
376
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,018
And wouldn't you know it,
they delivered the darn thing
377
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,687
to the wrong address.
Oh, there it is.
378
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,856
Oh, uh, looks like they got
379
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,316
the "Get well" part wrong, too.
380
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:01,942
- Uh..
- Bummer. Yeah.
381
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:04,945
I was just gonna bring Tessa
her homework as a friend.
382
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,989
Not as someone who's, like,
hypnotized by the play
383
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:10,075
of sunlight on her coppery hair
or anything.
384
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,578
Right. Well, of course not.
I'm sure she'll be grateful.
385
00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:15,080
That's all I want, actually,
is-is her gratefulness.
386
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:18,125
Well, I'm just gonna
pop into your house
387
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,419
and grab that basket,
which is mine anyway.
388
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,379
I'm just gonna pop over
to your house and grab nothing.
389
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:24,298
Uh, just gonna deliver
390
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,383
these papers
to your daughter is all.
391
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,260
Nothing else.
392
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,319
Be back in 30 minutes
for dinner, Ryan!
393
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,946
'I just came back
from my riding lesson.'
394
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,489
'Uh, starving!'
395
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,960
[sniffing]
396
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,963
'Fred must have
funked up his fleece again.'
397
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,090
[sighs]
398
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:16,934
[creaking]
399
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,274
[whispering]
I'm not stealing.
400
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,276
[whispering]
I don't care.
401
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,364
I was finally
off the pain killers
402
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,615
and back to my old self.
403
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,658
But my old self
404
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,243
was in a lot of pain.
405
00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:36,537
Fortunately,
Ryan had a solution.
406
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:39,248
There.
407
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:41,500
That's what I did when I got
mouth-checked in lacrosse.
408
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,210
Oh, my God.
409
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,838
Ryan, thank you so much.
410
00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:47,631
That feels so much better.
411
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,216
You look like a bunny.
412
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,093
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
413
00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:53,846
By the way, your socks
smell a lot better than mine.
414
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:55,389
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
415
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,474
- I wash 'em.
- Mm.
416
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,770
You mouth-checked me, too,
you know..
417
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,897
...on Christmas.
418
00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:06,900
Ever since you
slammed your tongue into mine
419
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:09,236
I've been thinking about
what it meant to you
420
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,696
if anything.
421
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:13,657
It meant something.
422
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,535
But what?
423
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:19,204
I don't know.
We tried it before.
424
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:22,666
And...we're total opposites.
425
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,669
That's great, because opposites
don't push each other apart.
426
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,630
They-they-they do
the other thing.
427
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,132
They attract, Ryan.
428
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,801
Opposites...attract.
429
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:35,763
I'm super attracted to you
even right now.
430
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,432
Your face is puffy,
and your gums are bloody
431
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,434
and your lips are dry
and lusterless.
432
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,810
Ow.
433
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,938
That must mean
something, right?
434
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,899
Don't make me smile.
It hurts.
435
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,485
See? I make you smile
even when it hurts to smile.
436
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:53,655
Maybe that means something, too.
437
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,450
Ow.
438
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,369
[instrumental music]
439
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:05,334
Mission accomplished.
440
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:08,045
- Your secret is safe.
- Oh! Mm.
441
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,797
Thank you, George. Mwah.
442
00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:11,965
- Okay. Okay.
- Thank you. Thank you.
443
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:14,510
Okay. That's enough, Fred.
You're welcome.
444
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,053
Ooh, ooh,
at least partake in
445
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,846
some delicious
smokehouse almonds.
446
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,223
They're my favorite,
and you earned them.
447
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:21,100
- I'm gonna go check on my kid.
- Fair enough.
448
00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:23,560
But I can't promise
these will wait for you! Ha ha.
449
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,564
- Whoa!
- I'm sorry.
450
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,274
Certainly didn't mean
to startle you.
451
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:32,277
Really? 'Cause...
kind of seems like you did.
452
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,696
It's just...
the door was unlocked
453
00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,448
and as neighbors,
we're welcome to traipse
454
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:40,452
in and out of each other's
homes, aren't we, George?
455
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:41,703
I thought so.
456
00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:45,249
I trust you, George.
I really do.
457
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:50,879
And I know you would
never lie to me.
458
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,548
Of course not.
459
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:55,342
So when you told me
you had handled
460
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:59,263
the problem in the basement,
I took you at your word.
461
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,889
[chuckles]
462
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,224
Still..
463
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,810
...I just can't shake
464
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:07,896
the feeling that maybe
465
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,983
just maybe, the problem..
466
00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,734
...persists.
467
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:14,319
And if so..
468
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,697
...then perhaps
it's time to use..
469
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:18,657
...the gas.
470
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,534
(George)
"G'die, mate?"
471
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,161
Sheila, no! He won't survive!
472
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:23,203
[honking]
473
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:27,082
- 'Fred!'
- Fred?
474
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:29,418
That my wife you got there?
I'm gonna need her back.
475
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:32,838
'Cause I took an early flight
home just to see her.
476
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:33,881
Hi.
477
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:38,969
Mmm!
478
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:42,931
Well, don't you look handsome
in your riding gear?
479
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,349
I know one pony
that needs a ride.
480
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:48,312
- Well...get in the house.
- Mmm.
481
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,106
What makes a good couple
work is..
482
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,941
...a complete mystery.
483
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,860
I really like him.
484
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:58,030
[sighs]
But we just don't
make sense on paper.
485
00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,365
Well, I'm not sure
I'm the one to be doling out
486
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,034
relationship advice
at the moment.
487
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,578
You see, I mistakenly thought
your daddy and I
488
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,496
had entered
the joint decor stage--
489
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:10,292
Hey. Where did you find this?
490
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:13,587
I found that discarded like
a piece of trash in your trash.
491
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:17,382
Are you kidding? George has been
looking everywhere for this.
492
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:19,593
What? Well, then why, pray tell,
would he throw it away?
493
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,637
It's not trash.
It's joint decor.
494
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:24,223
No, he didn't throw it away,
Dallas. I did.
495
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:27,392
I-I thought it was
from outer space.
496
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:29,519
It's been a really weird day.
497
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,814
Oh. Oh!
498
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:35,442
So this is all your fault.
499
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,111
[sighs]
That makes me feel
so much better.
500
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:41,990
- At least one of us does.
- Right.
501
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:45,035
Look, Tessa, I know it isn't
easy and believe me
502
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,704
there's no odder couple
than me and your dad.
503
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:50,582
But sometimes there's more
to life than what makes
504
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,417
sense on paper.
505
00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,004
- Thanks, Dallas.
- Sure thing.
506
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,548
And sorry I hijacked the earlier
part of the conversation
507
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:01,093
to be about my love life.
508
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:03,887
But seriously, you think
he's super into me, right?
509
00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:10,102
Ah! It feels good
to be home.
510
00:21:18,318 --> 00:21:21,571
- Goodnight, Sheila.
- Night, Fred.
511
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,198
- Oh, and, Fred..
- Hmm?
512
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,200
Happy junior secretary's day.
36283
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