All language subtitles for Suburgatory Season 1 EPS (19)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,060 --> 00:00:07,330 Tessa: In Chatswin, the grass really is greener... [The Cranberries' "Linger" playing] 2 00:00:08,666 --> 00:00:11,803 The fruit sweeter... [Crunch] 3 00:00:11,831 --> 00:00:13,512 The vegetables snappier. 4 00:00:13,540 --> 00:00:13,869 [Snapping] 5 00:00:13,989 --> 00:00:15,737 Even the corn seems crunchier. 6 00:00:15,746 --> 00:00:19,756 It's a produce paradise, a veritable garden of... Eden. 7 00:00:19,876 --> 00:00:20,643 Nice to meet you, Frank. 8 00:00:20,744 --> 00:00:21,543 Nice to meet you. 9 00:00:21,645 --> 00:00:23,123 Gorgeous braeburns. 10 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:23,696 Thank you. 11 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:24,804 They really are. 12 00:00:24,924 --> 00:00:27,367 And since we're introducing ourselves, I'm George Altman. 13 00:00:27,487 --> 00:00:28,400 Frank de Luca. 14 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:29,836 De Luca orchards, route 9. 15 00:00:29,956 --> 00:00:30,944 Hello. 16 00:00:30,982 --> 00:00:31,893 And this is eden. 17 00:00:32,190 --> 00:00:33,335 Eden? 18 00:00:33,455 --> 00:00:34,556 Apple, George? 19 00:00:34,676 --> 00:00:37,806 I'm tempted, but, uh, won't it get me kicked out? 20 00:00:37,926 --> 00:00:38,640 Don't be stupid. 21 00:00:38,659 --> 00:00:39,711 It's a free sample. 22 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:42,584 Would you be interested in maybe grabbing a cup of coffee? 23 00:00:45,332 --> 00:00:47,333 I don't drink coffee. 24 00:00:47,412 --> 00:00:50,905 You know, between the chemicals, pesticides, and exploitation of 25 00:00:50,924 --> 00:00:52,529 workers, it's basically the devil. 26 00:00:52,924 --> 00:00:54,257 But I'll do you one better. 27 00:00:54,295 --> 00:00:55,642 Better? 28 00:00:55,743 --> 00:00:58,210 Than a cup of the devil? 29 00:00:58,278 --> 00:00:58,911 My treat. 30 00:00:59,012 --> 00:01:00,022 What would you like? 31 00:01:00,050 --> 00:01:00,482 Oh. 32 00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:01,900 Uh, um, all right. 33 00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:05,618 Well... It all looks... Terrible. 34 00:01:05,656 --> 00:01:06,013 [Chuckles] 35 00:01:06,313 --> 00:01:06,661 Sorry. 36 00:01:06,689 --> 00:01:08,163 I'm clueless when it comes to this health crap. 37 00:01:08,182 --> 00:01:09,046 You... you pick. 38 00:01:09,249 --> 00:01:13,792 Two kitchen sinks with bee pollen, acidophilus, and extra brewer's yeast. 39 00:01:13,859 --> 00:01:14,254 Ah! 40 00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:15,694 Yes, extra, please. 41 00:01:15,761 --> 00:01:17,562 Nothing quenches like a good cup of yeast. 42 00:01:17,629 --> 00:01:18,529 Am I right? 43 00:01:18,597 --> 00:01:19,363 [Chuckles] 44 00:01:19,431 --> 00:01:20,131 All right. 45 00:01:20,199 --> 00:01:20,594 Thanks. 46 00:01:20,603 --> 00:01:21,047 Thank you. 47 00:01:21,288 --> 00:01:21,889 Mm-hmm. 48 00:01:22,009 --> 00:01:22,791 And thank you. 49 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,785 But just... just so you know, if I wasn't trying to impress you, 50 00:01:25,905 --> 00:01:27,471 there is no way this would touch my lips. 51 00:01:27,539 --> 00:01:28,272 You're gonna love it. 52 00:01:28,373 --> 00:01:29,074 Oh. 53 00:01:29,141 --> 00:01:30,574 All right, here we go. 54 00:01:30,641 --> 00:01:31,709 [Slurps] 55 00:01:31,776 --> 00:01:32,542 Oh. 56 00:01:32,610 --> 00:01:33,877 Oh. 57 00:01:33,991 --> 00:01:35,231 Okay, not bad. 58 00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:35,679 Right? 59 00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:39,249 It tastes like... My throat's closing. 60 00:01:39,317 --> 00:01:40,150 [Strained voice] 61 00:01:40,218 --> 00:01:41,985 My throat's closing. 62 00:01:42,053 --> 00:01:42,753 [Drink thuds] 63 00:01:42,821 --> 00:01:42,961 [Groans] 64 00:01:42,998 --> 00:01:44,895 I think you might be allergic to something in this drink. 65 00:01:44,932 --> 00:01:45,731 You think? 66 00:01:45,768 --> 00:01:46,570 Nettle juice. 67 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,073 Someone run and get some nettle juice! 68 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:49,309 [Strained voice] 69 00:01:49,346 --> 00:01:50,126 Call an ambulance. 70 00:01:50,145 --> 00:01:51,891 I can't breathe. 71 00:01:52,598 --> 00:01:54,097 I feel awful. 72 00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:54,931 Me, too. 73 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:55,732 [Chuckles] 74 00:01:55,799 --> 00:01:58,601 I've never seen someone react like that to all-natural ingredients. 75 00:01:58,702 --> 00:01:59,468 Uh, well, I'm a new yorker. 76 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:00,336 I'm sorry, George. 77 00:02:00,437 --> 00:02:02,037 I should never have pushed you into that smoothie. 78 00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:03,371 No, it's... it's good. 79 00:02:03,472 --> 00:02:05,841 I convulsed on your shoulder, I wheezed in your lap. 80 00:02:05,942 --> 00:02:08,143 I really feel like we know each other now. 81 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,111 [Knock on door] 82 00:02:09,178 --> 00:02:10,078 Mr. foreman? 83 00:02:10,146 --> 00:02:11,880 No. 84 00:02:11,981 --> 00:02:13,815 George foreman? 85 00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:15,174 "George foreman"? 86 00:02:15,202 --> 00:02:17,918 Well I couldn't remember, and it was the first George that popped in my head. 87 00:02:17,986 --> 00:02:19,653 Look, "George cute smile" 88 00:02:19,721 --> 00:02:21,421 wasn't gonna get your treated. 89 00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:24,098 Okay, Mr. cute smile, you're free to go. 90 00:02:24,108 --> 00:02:26,693 We've prescribed some antihistamines and an epipen in the event... 91 00:02:26,762 --> 00:02:28,629 Another woman tries to make me drink poison? 92 00:02:28,696 --> 00:02:32,117 I'm afraid I can't prescribe anything for the googly eyes, 93 00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:36,236 although I'd like to because they're making me sick. 94 00:02:36,303 --> 00:02:38,724 I've been up for 40 hours. 95 00:02:39,269 --> 00:02:40,593 So this was fun. 96 00:02:40,713 --> 00:02:41,476 [Vomits] 97 00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:42,001 [Chuckles] 98 00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:42,537 [Laughs] 99 00:02:42,574 --> 00:02:45,156 On our second date, I'll slam your hand in a door. 100 00:02:45,175 --> 00:02:45,476 [Laughs] 101 00:02:45,504 --> 00:02:46,668 Second date? 102 00:02:46,788 --> 00:02:49,231 That means I get another bite of the apple, eden? 103 00:02:51,483 --> 00:02:53,510 Call me when your face clears up. 104 00:02:53,578 --> 00:02:54,345 [Chuckles] 105 00:02:55,439 --> 00:02:56,105 Bye. 106 00:02:56,173 --> 00:02:57,607 Bye. 107 00:02:57,675 --> 00:03:00,877 [Giggles] 108 00:03:00,878 --> 00:03:02,478 [ ♪ ] 109 00:03:06,411 --> 00:03:07,050 Sorry. 110 00:03:07,069 --> 00:03:08,632 I have to kiss you now. 111 00:03:14,557 --> 00:03:17,493 [ ♪ ] 112 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,629 Just removed an 85-year-old man's catheter. 113 00:03:22,598 --> 00:03:24,665 Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for www.addic7ed.com 114 00:03:25,001 --> 00:03:28,369 ♪ Last night I had a pleasant nightmare ♪ 115 00:03:28,437 --> 00:03:31,672 ♪ da-da-da-da, da, da, da, da ♪ 116 00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:33,274 [Glass shatters] 117 00:03:33,341 --> 00:03:36,425 I still can't believe people buy broken shards of glass. 118 00:03:36,462 --> 00:03:37,131 They don't. 119 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:38,866 They buy "crystal tears." 120 00:03:38,896 --> 00:03:39,702 "From Heaven." 121 00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:40,879 [Clinking] 122 00:03:40,967 --> 00:03:41,866 Hey. 123 00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:42,794 Hey, Lisa. 124 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,860 Can I get a half-pound of the "crystal tears." 125 00:03:45,905 --> 00:03:47,306 From Heaven"? 126 00:03:47,986 --> 00:03:50,465 And also, I need something for Malik. 127 00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:53,349 It's our month-anniversary, so it needs to be special. 128 00:03:53,469 --> 00:03:54,634 Mommy, I need money. 129 00:03:54,662 --> 00:03:55,378 I'm with a customer. 130 00:03:55,446 --> 00:03:56,646 I'll be right with you. 131 00:03:56,714 --> 00:04:00,750 Lisa, does Malik have a holographic image of you set in crystal? 132 00:04:00,818 --> 00:04:03,353 I-I'm embarrassed to say no. 133 00:04:03,454 --> 00:04:05,989 [Glass shards crunch] 134 00:04:06,056 --> 00:04:07,790 You just walked straight through my pile. 135 00:04:07,891 --> 00:04:08,858 Your "pile" isn't my problem. 136 00:04:08,926 --> 00:04:09,892 No, I agree. 137 00:04:09,994 --> 00:04:12,761 You have much more serious problems that predate this pile. 138 00:04:12,829 --> 00:04:14,083 You can't talk to me like that. 139 00:04:14,203 --> 00:04:14,984 I'm your boss. 140 00:04:15,012 --> 00:04:16,477 I work for you mother, not you. 141 00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:17,767 I came out of my mother. 142 00:04:17,835 --> 00:04:18,868 That's not how it works. 143 00:04:18,969 --> 00:04:19,869 Tessa, you're fired. 144 00:04:19,937 --> 00:04:20,632 Wanna bet? 145 00:04:20,804 --> 00:04:23,026 Mommy, I just fired Tessa without severance. 146 00:04:23,036 --> 00:04:23,750 What?! 147 00:04:23,768 --> 00:04:25,674 Dalia, what has gotten into you? 148 00:04:25,703 --> 00:04:27,477 Tessa's not fired. 149 00:04:27,597 --> 00:04:28,313 But look. 150 00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:30,294 She did a terrible job sweeping. 151 00:04:30,593 --> 00:04:31,692 How would you know, Dalia? 152 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,720 You've never swept a day in your life. 153 00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:35,852 You know what, mommy? 154 00:04:35,972 --> 00:04:37,467 You can forget the money. 155 00:04:37,587 --> 00:04:39,788 I don't even want it any more. 156 00:04:40,361 --> 00:04:41,441 [Shards crunch and tinkle] 157 00:04:41,694 --> 00:04:43,610 Okay, what about a reptile? 158 00:04:44,802 --> 00:04:45,694 Too cold? 159 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:46,531 Mnh. 160 00:04:49,207 --> 00:04:50,493 How about a parrot? 161 00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:51,498 They're clever. 162 00:04:51,536 --> 00:04:52,296 They can talk. 163 00:04:52,991 --> 00:04:54,907 Not everything that talks is clever. 164 00:04:56,052 --> 00:04:59,066 I just think that having a pet would make us feel more like a family. 165 00:04:59,186 --> 00:04:59,554 [Sighs] 166 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:00,991 Roommates shouldn't have pets. 167 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,606 What if one roommate moves out? 168 00:05:02,634 --> 00:05:03,789 Then the pet has to choose sides. 169 00:05:03,909 --> 00:05:04,878 "Roommates"? 170 00:05:04,998 --> 00:05:05,902 That's another thing. 171 00:05:06,022 --> 00:05:08,392 Why do you insist on calling us roommates? 172 00:05:08,512 --> 00:05:08,767 [Dishes thud] 173 00:05:08,983 --> 00:05:11,828 And how come you always put an empty seat between us at the movie theater? 174 00:05:11,866 --> 00:05:12,758 For popcorn. 175 00:05:12,777 --> 00:05:14,908 I-I've told you, that's the popcorn seat. 176 00:05:15,028 --> 00:05:17,218 I feel like you are ashamed of us. 177 00:05:17,338 --> 00:05:20,480 And saying no to a pet is just your way of saying no to a real commitment. 178 00:05:20,705 --> 00:05:21,193 [Sighs] 179 00:05:21,628 --> 00:05:23,628 Look, Nora and I had a cat. 180 00:05:23,748 --> 00:05:27,271 After the divorce... You always bring up Nora whenever I try to talk about 181 00:05:27,309 --> 00:05:28,473 our relationship. 182 00:05:28,593 --> 00:05:29,581 I'm not Nora! 183 00:05:29,618 --> 00:05:31,036 Well, how about we get an area rug? 184 00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:33,059 If things don't work out, we can always cut that in half. 185 00:05:34,693 --> 00:05:37,463 I'm telling you, man, that kiss took my breath away. 186 00:05:37,444 --> 00:05:42,054 Noah, I have not felt a connection like this since... Well, maybe ever. 187 00:05:42,326 --> 00:05:43,124 [Laughs] 188 00:05:43,425 --> 00:05:46,636 Look, I don't wanna one-up ya... [Pool cue clatters] 189 00:05:46,655 --> 00:05:47,706 But I'm gonna. 190 00:05:47,826 --> 00:05:49,256 Jill and I are expecting. 191 00:05:50,608 --> 00:05:51,284 A baby?! 192 00:05:51,322 --> 00:05:52,241 A baby, man! 193 00:05:52,278 --> 00:05:52,588 [Claps hands] 194 00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:54,170 A goo-goo ga-ga baby. 195 00:05:54,237 --> 00:05:55,070 [Laughs] 196 00:05:55,138 --> 00:05:56,335 Of course, we needed some help. 197 00:05:56,363 --> 00:05:57,584 Jill is of a certain age. 198 00:05:57,612 --> 00:05:58,335 But she's all right? 199 00:05:58,372 --> 00:05:59,039 She's feeling good? 200 00:05:59,058 --> 00:05:59,753 She's amazing. 201 00:06:00,344 --> 00:06:01,344 [Laughs] 202 00:06:01,412 --> 00:06:02,278 [Laughs] 203 00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:03,011 Okay! 204 00:06:03,078 --> 00:06:03,909 Well... All right! 205 00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:04,627 Wow! 206 00:06:04,715 --> 00:06:05,481 That's great, man! 207 00:06:05,549 --> 00:06:06,349 Look at us, huh? 208 00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:11,289 It feels like we're... I don't know... Starting over. 209 00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:13,310 Let's have dinner tomorrow night to celebrate, all right? 210 00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:16,859 We can meet your new lady, and we can toast my seed. 211 00:06:16,927 --> 00:06:18,560 Huh? 212 00:06:18,661 --> 00:06:19,195 Up top! 213 00:06:19,262 --> 00:06:20,009 Come on! 214 00:06:21,764 --> 00:06:22,731 [Sizzling] 215 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,765 Smells like burnt rubber. 216 00:06:23,834 --> 00:06:26,511 Yep, that's what I'm making you for dinner... burnt rubber... 217 00:06:26,631 --> 00:06:27,617 'Cause I'm going out. 218 00:06:27,647 --> 00:06:29,948 Are you just stir-frying the nonstick coating or what? 219 00:06:30,116 --> 00:06:30,669 [Door opens] 220 00:06:30,789 --> 00:06:31,617 Dallas: My baby's missing! 221 00:06:31,737 --> 00:06:32,012 [Panting] 222 00:06:32,132 --> 00:06:32,894 George: What? 223 00:06:33,014 --> 00:06:34,552 My baby's missing! 224 00:06:34,653 --> 00:06:35,386 She's gone! 225 00:06:35,453 --> 00:06:36,186 No one would kidnap Dalia. 226 00:06:36,254 --> 00:06:36,821 Did she run away? 227 00:06:36,889 --> 00:06:37,622 Not Dalia! 228 00:06:37,723 --> 00:06:39,323 Yakult! 229 00:06:39,391 --> 00:06:39,991 [Groans] 230 00:06:40,091 --> 00:06:40,825 Oh. 231 00:06:40,893 --> 00:06:41,692 Yakult's missing! 232 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:42,660 She's missing, y'all! 233 00:06:42,728 --> 00:06:44,428 I've looked everywhere... Inside the house, outside the 234 00:06:44,496 --> 00:06:46,964 house, inside the guesthouse, outside the guesthouse, inside 235 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,866 the pool cabana, outside the pool cabana. 236 00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:49,566 She's gone! 237 00:06:49,579 --> 00:06:50,199 [Gasps] 238 00:06:50,319 --> 00:06:51,063 Oh! 239 00:06:51,183 --> 00:06:52,293 I can't breathe! 240 00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:52,856 [Gasps] 241 00:06:52,885 --> 00:06:54,537 I can't find breath. 242 00:06:54,565 --> 00:06:55,189 Dallas? 243 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:55,927 Don't touch me! 244 00:06:55,943 --> 00:06:56,562 Don't touch me! 245 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,539 I feel confined! 246 00:06:57,830 --> 00:06:58,703 [Breathing heavily] 247 00:06:58,823 --> 00:07:01,079 If something happens to that dog, I don't know what I'll do. 248 00:07:01,107 --> 00:07:01,454 [Clears throat] 249 00:07:01,485 --> 00:07:03,372 I don't know how I'll press on. 250 00:07:03,391 --> 00:07:04,048 I won't! 251 00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:07,147 Okay, D-Dallas, hey, you need to calm down and sit and 252 00:07:07,184 --> 00:07:09,388 tell us exactly what happened. 253 00:07:09,456 --> 00:07:10,755 I'm sure yakult is okay. 254 00:07:10,823 --> 00:07:12,458 We'll put up fliers. 255 00:07:12,525 --> 00:07:13,369 Tessa, you have to find my girl. 256 00:07:13,397 --> 00:07:14,158 Promise me. 257 00:07:14,278 --> 00:07:15,923 She's out there alone! 258 00:07:16,317 --> 00:07:17,923 What will she eat come dinner? 259 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,129 Where will she sleep come night? 260 00:07:20,249 --> 00:07:21,255 Where, Tessa? 261 00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:22,964 Hey! 262 00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,316 Sorry we're late. 263 00:07:24,325 --> 00:07:24,729 Hey! 264 00:07:24,739 --> 00:07:27,950 Milady was blow-drying her hair for three-quarters of an hour. 265 00:07:27,987 --> 00:07:28,710 [Chuckles] 266 00:07:28,945 --> 00:07:29,161 Hey. 267 00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:29,836 Here you go. 268 00:07:29,846 --> 00:07:30,155 Oh. 269 00:07:30,174 --> 00:07:31,019 Why, thank you, George. 270 00:07:31,047 --> 00:07:31,451 Well, of course. 271 00:07:31,489 --> 00:07:31,958 Hey. 272 00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:32,671 Hey, what is this? 273 00:07:32,709 --> 00:07:33,770 You trying to steal my gal? 274 00:07:33,798 --> 00:07:34,446 [Laughs] 275 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:35,732 Where's yours? 276 00:07:35,742 --> 00:07:37,723 Oh, she should be here any minute, hopefully. 277 00:07:37,732 --> 00:07:39,563 I'm starting to think she got cold feet. 278 00:07:39,864 --> 00:07:41,469 Hey, you think it was too soon to do a double date? 279 00:07:41,507 --> 00:07:42,465 Did I mess up? 280 00:07:42,934 --> 00:07:45,056 Can I start you off with some cocktails this evening? 281 00:07:45,176 --> 00:07:46,164 I'll have a scotch. 282 00:07:46,179 --> 00:07:46,864 Neat. 283 00:07:47,362 --> 00:07:47,869 Really? 284 00:07:47,859 --> 00:07:49,239 Is... is that allowed? 285 00:07:49,277 --> 00:07:52,779 I'm gonna have a lemon drop, uh, and sugar up the rim for me, angel. 286 00:07:52,899 --> 00:07:54,257 We're celebratin' tonight. 287 00:07:54,377 --> 00:07:55,065 [Chuckles] 288 00:07:55,632 --> 00:07:56,135 Thank you. 289 00:07:56,255 --> 00:07:57,835 So... How far along are you? 290 00:07:57,835 --> 00:07:59,741 I gotta tell you, Jill, you barely look pregnant. 291 00:08:01,046 --> 00:08:01,863 Pregnant? 292 00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:03,478 I look pregnant? 293 00:08:03,509 --> 00:08:04,682 Y... am I missing something? 294 00:08:04,711 --> 00:08:05,809 Isn't that what we're celebrating? 295 00:08:05,828 --> 00:08:06,936 You told me she was pregnant. 296 00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:08,279 I told you we were having a baby. 297 00:08:08,316 --> 00:08:09,321 What's the difference? 298 00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,743 George, we hired a surrogate to carry the baby for me. 299 00:08:11,863 --> 00:08:14,814 I wanted to carry it myself, but I'm simply too busy with my new book, 300 00:08:15,188 --> 00:08:17,047 "making time for what matters." 301 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:17,699 [Sighs] 302 00:08:17,704 --> 00:08:19,676 You never mentioned a surrogate. 303 00:08:19,695 --> 00:08:22,990 She's farm-raised, sun-kissed, and completely organic. 304 00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:24,727 Uterine walls of concrete. 305 00:08:25,194 --> 00:08:25,551 [Noah, Jill, and George] 306 00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:26,819 Oh, there she is. 307 00:08:37,455 --> 00:08:39,423 [Car door closes, [indistinct conversations] 308 00:08:39,524 --> 00:08:43,430 Well, the conversation may have run dry, but my swordfish 309 00:08:43,459 --> 00:08:45,957 was exceptionally moist. 310 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,025 Exceptionally. 311 00:08:48,093 --> 00:08:50,542 Look... This is silly. 312 00:08:52,416 --> 00:08:54,450 All right, you guys only had one date. 313 00:08:54,518 --> 00:08:55,716 George didn't know you were pregnant. 314 00:08:55,716 --> 00:08:58,693 You didn't know that George was my best friend. 315 00:08:58,713 --> 00:09:01,483 And now that we all know what we know, it's over. 316 00:09:02,347 --> 00:09:05,276 We can all put this uncomfortable mess behind us. 317 00:09:06,184 --> 00:09:10,175 Is that how you feel, George, that is an uncomfortable mess 318 00:09:10,203 --> 00:09:11,311 that we should put behind us? 319 00:09:11,339 --> 00:09:11,818 [Chuckles] 320 00:09:11,938 --> 00:09:15,104 I don't know if it's a mess, but I certainly am uncomfortable. 321 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,493 Good-bye, George foreman. 322 00:09:20,542 --> 00:09:22,554 It was nice almost knowing you. 323 00:09:25,714 --> 00:09:27,123 [ ♪ ] 324 00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:28,494 Come on. 325 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,428 You cannot date a woman that has my baby inside of her. 326 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:32,851 [Chuckles] 327 00:09:32,879 --> 00:09:33,583 Come on. 328 00:09:33,611 --> 00:09:34,879 I know I'm preaching to the choir here. 329 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:35,564 Right? 330 00:09:37,715 --> 00:09:38,372 Right? 331 00:09:38,492 --> 00:09:38,861 [Car door opens] 332 00:09:38,981 --> 00:09:39,828 Yeah. 333 00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:41,255 [Closes car door] 334 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,149 She didn't even look pregnant. 335 00:09:48,749 --> 00:09:50,758 Did she look pregnant to you? 336 00:09:52,599 --> 00:09:54,354 That's the photo you chose? 337 00:09:54,474 --> 00:09:55,923 She looks haggard. 338 00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:58,035 Why couldn't you pick one of her smiling? 339 00:09:58,046 --> 00:09:59,792 Yakult has a beautiful smile. 340 00:10:00,825 --> 00:10:02,196 Is that a security camera? 341 00:10:02,553 --> 00:10:03,060 Yeah. 342 00:10:03,088 --> 00:10:05,126 Steven had it installed to make sure everyone took off their 343 00:10:05,144 --> 00:10:06,159 shoes when they came in the house. 344 00:10:06,279 --> 00:10:08,709 I don't know if you recall, but he had a real shoe thing. 345 00:10:08,829 --> 00:10:10,709 It was kinda his defining characteristic. 346 00:10:10,829 --> 00:10:11,892 Is it recording? 347 00:10:11,921 --> 00:10:12,991 It looks like it's recording. 348 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,173 Oh, my gosh, it's always recording. 349 00:10:14,418 --> 00:10:15,338 [Gasps] 350 00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:17,397 Oh, my gosh, it's always recording! 351 00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,045 To the control room! 352 00:10:20,399 --> 00:10:22,733 [Hangers whoosh] 353 00:10:22,734 --> 00:10:24,543 [ ♪ ] 354 00:10:24,663 --> 00:10:26,251 Don't see a lot of those anymore. 355 00:10:26,288 --> 00:10:29,518 At the time, joystick-based security was considered cutting-edge. 356 00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:32,091 This model came with "asteroids." 357 00:10:33,406 --> 00:10:34,119 [Beeps] 358 00:10:34,335 --> 00:10:36,983 Dallas: Let's just check some old footage. 359 00:10:37,783 --> 00:10:38,469 [ ♪ ] 360 00:10:38,741 --> 00:10:40,243 There's yakult right there! 361 00:10:41,793 --> 00:10:43,041 What is she doin'? 362 00:10:43,161 --> 00:10:46,628 Did... did she just... [Gasps] 363 00:10:48,763 --> 00:10:52,340 Dalia Oprah royce, get down here right now! 364 00:10:53,504 --> 00:10:54,969 I'm inverted! 365 00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,903 I said, get down here now! 366 00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:58,312 I can't believe this. 367 00:10:58,340 --> 00:11:00,809 My own daughter, my own flesh and blood. 368 00:11:00,929 --> 00:11:01,551 What, mommy? 369 00:11:01,589 --> 00:11:02,537 I just got upside down. 370 00:11:02,575 --> 00:11:04,265 You swept yakult. 371 00:11:04,385 --> 00:11:05,307 I did not. 372 00:11:05,345 --> 00:11:07,551 We just watched you do so on surveillance footage. 373 00:11:07,671 --> 00:11:09,273 You swept that poor, innocent dog! 374 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:10,259 How could you? 375 00:11:10,287 --> 00:11:12,334 You thought it was so great when Tessa swept. 376 00:11:12,344 --> 00:11:13,611 I can't believe you're my child. 377 00:11:13,645 --> 00:11:16,875 I can't believe I have raised such a selfish, vindictive little girl. 378 00:11:16,903 --> 00:11:20,377 You better pray that dog is unharmed, or else... [Sighs] 379 00:11:22,311 --> 00:11:23,138 Tessa.. 380 00:11:24,563 --> 00:11:26,347 Thank you for being who you are. 381 00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:29,990 Somebody raised you right, and clearly, it wasn't me. 382 00:11:42,991 --> 00:11:44,591 [ ♪ ] 383 00:11:51,332 --> 00:11:51,931 Alan! 384 00:11:51,999 --> 00:11:54,487 Come quickly and see! 385 00:11:54,734 --> 00:11:55,767 What... what's wrong? 386 00:11:55,776 --> 00:11:56,903 I was just about to get in the shower. 387 00:11:57,023 --> 00:11:58,851 I was out buying an area rug, just like you said... 388 00:11:58,971 --> 00:12:01,954 Low pile, modern, geometric... When all of a sudden, I felt 389 00:12:01,962 --> 00:12:04,940 something lick me... In the heart. 390 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:07,229 I turned around to find this. 391 00:12:07,478 --> 00:12:08,469 You went out and got a dog? 392 00:12:08,506 --> 00:12:09,671 Absolutely not. 393 00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:10,910 He got me. 394 00:12:10,948 --> 00:12:12,638 Or more specifically, us. 395 00:12:12,758 --> 00:12:16,734 This dog was sent here, Alan, to make us a family. 396 00:12:16,854 --> 00:12:19,856 Just look at those pretty brown eyes. 397 00:12:19,924 --> 00:12:23,726 [Laughing] 398 00:12:23,794 --> 00:12:25,895 All right, I just got licked, too. 399 00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:26,897 [Laughs] 400 00:12:27,017 --> 00:12:29,010 Well, now the two of us get to put our heads together and come 401 00:12:29,029 --> 00:12:29,746 up with a great name. 402 00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:30,916 I already named him. 403 00:12:31,036 --> 00:12:32,071 His name is hanson. 404 00:12:32,341 --> 00:12:32,848 [ ♪ ] 405 00:12:32,876 --> 00:12:35,534 ♪ Mmm bop, ba duba dop ♪ 406 00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:37,890 ♪ ba duba dop, ba duba dop ♪ 407 00:12:37,928 --> 00:12:40,182 ♪ ba duba dop, ba duba dop ♪ 408 00:12:40,213 --> 00:12:41,283 ♪ yeah, yeah ♪ 409 00:12:41,312 --> 00:12:42,607 ♪ mmm bop, ba duba dop ♪ 410 00:12:42,645 --> 00:12:44,788 ♪ ba duba dop ♪ 411 00:12:44,908 --> 00:12:45,640 [Lowered voice] 412 00:12:45,668 --> 00:12:47,490 Deep cleansing breath. 413 00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:47,744 [Noah in distance] 414 00:12:47,762 --> 00:12:48,335 Did you hear that? 415 00:12:48,345 --> 00:12:50,016 She just took a deep cleansing breath. 416 00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:51,771 Guys, just come in. 417 00:12:51,891 --> 00:12:53,311 I can hear you. 418 00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:56,193 [Noah and Jill, singsongy] Hi. 419 00:12:56,437 --> 00:12:58,550 We'd just like to touch base about last night. 420 00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:01,620 To sum up, George... not the man we thought he was. 421 00:13:01,832 --> 00:13:04,461 Noah... Didn't handle things great. 422 00:13:04,508 --> 00:13:06,253 I don't handle things great. 423 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,234 [Laughs] 424 00:13:07,301 --> 00:13:08,452 I don't. 425 00:13:08,743 --> 00:13:10,499 We just don't want you to feel any resentment. 426 00:13:10,619 --> 00:13:14,306 Yeah, because that resentment will flow through your body and drench our fetus. 427 00:13:14,407 --> 00:13:16,408 Guys, you don't have to worry. 428 00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:17,830 There's nothing happening between George and me. 429 00:13:17,868 --> 00:13:18,638 Yes! 430 00:13:19,661 --> 00:13:21,220 I'm sorry you're alone. 431 00:13:22,638 --> 00:13:24,055 Namaste. 432 00:13:24,966 --> 00:13:27,332 Dalia: You guys, we need to figure out where yakult is so I 433 00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:31,464 can bring her back to mommy so she won't be sad and mad at me. 434 00:13:31,784 --> 00:13:34,648 You guys, we seriously need to brainstorm, you guys. 435 00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:37,244 [ ♪ ] 436 00:13:48,169 --> 00:13:50,320 What was that, Kimantha? 437 00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:51,925 Nothing. 438 00:13:52,609 --> 00:13:55,371 No, I-I just... I shifted my weight from my left foot to my right. 439 00:13:55,491 --> 00:13:56,432 Ohh. 440 00:13:56,798 --> 00:13:57,653 Good idea. 441 00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:00,986 [Indistinct conversations] 442 00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:03,361 Word on the paddle courts is Noah knocked up your lady. 443 00:14:05,477 --> 00:14:07,365 Are you homeschooled or what? 444 00:14:07,374 --> 00:14:09,965 Hey, you think you're the first fella to fall for a bird 445 00:14:09,994 --> 00:14:11,637 with someone else's egg in her nest? 446 00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,749 Look at Heidi Klum and seal. 447 00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:16,853 She had someone else's bun in the oven, just like your girl. 448 00:14:16,881 --> 00:14:18,036 All right, so what's your point? 449 00:14:18,046 --> 00:14:19,614 Sarah Jessica Parker used a surrogate. 450 00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:21,548 If broderick can deal, so can you. 451 00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:24,102 All right, for the record, I don't have a problem with surrogacy. 452 00:14:24,222 --> 00:14:27,248 I'm just trying to... wrap my head around the idea of dating 453 00:14:27,267 --> 00:14:30,582 someone who's carrying a baby... Jill and Noah's baby. 454 00:14:30,594 --> 00:14:34,021 It's... It's complicated, A.J. 455 00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:35,918 Even you must see that. 456 00:14:35,946 --> 00:14:38,406 Chalk up your tip, George, and you'll have better control over your balls. 457 00:14:39,135 --> 00:14:40,102 [Slurps] 458 00:14:40,131 --> 00:14:41,098 Mr. wolfe? 459 00:14:41,586 --> 00:14:43,417 Can you make an announcement at the assembly? 460 00:14:43,537 --> 00:14:44,816 A friend of mine lost her dog. [Gasps] 461 00:14:44,936 --> 00:14:46,816 Um, is... is that the dog? 462 00:14:46,936 --> 00:14:47,586 Yeah. 463 00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:49,117 Her name's yakult. 464 00:14:49,363 --> 00:14:50,208 Yakult? 465 00:14:50,227 --> 00:14:51,870 That dog doesn't look like a "yakult" to me. 466 00:14:52,715 --> 00:14:53,504 Have you seen her? 467 00:14:53,494 --> 00:14:53,870 No. 468 00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:55,241 No, I certainly have not. 469 00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:56,677 [School bell rings] 470 00:14:56,875 --> 00:14:59,109 Tessa... aren't you supposed to be in forensic science right now? 471 00:15:00,547 --> 00:15:01,711 Why, yes, I am. 472 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:09,476 Yes... I... am. 473 00:15:09,829 --> 00:15:11,416 [ ♪ ] 474 00:15:18,364 --> 00:15:19,172 [Panting] 475 00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:20,317 All right, look, man, I've been thinking. 476 00:15:20,437 --> 00:15:21,397 I made a decision. 477 00:15:21,405 --> 00:15:22,391 I wanna be seal. 478 00:15:22,511 --> 00:15:24,326 Not how he is now, but how he was then. 479 00:15:24,354 --> 00:15:25,800 And I want you to be okay with it. 480 00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,330 Buddy, I love you, but you're no seal. 481 00:15:27,368 --> 00:15:28,992 Okay, he's my desktop image. 482 00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:29,509 Okay? 483 00:15:29,546 --> 00:15:31,173 And I ran into him once at a D'agostino's. 484 00:15:31,745 --> 00:15:35,566 So... Noah, I wanna see eden, and I want your blessing. 485 00:15:35,782 --> 00:15:40,646 All right, I don't want to be a hard-ass about this, but I strictly forbid it! 486 00:15:40,675 --> 00:15:44,093 Look, I know, you're caught up on the sex stuff, but it's not about that. 487 00:15:44,103 --> 00:15:46,610 I just... I just like her, you know? 488 00:15:47,342 --> 00:15:48,525 I... I can't stop thinking about her. 489 00:15:48,645 --> 00:15:50,165 So you'll keep it platonic? 490 00:15:50,184 --> 00:15:50,597 [Chuckles] 491 00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:51,461 I didn't say that. 492 00:15:51,581 --> 00:15:56,447 How would you feel if Jill and I wanted to have sex on top of Tessa? 493 00:15:56,484 --> 00:15:57,912 That's not the same thing. 494 00:15:58,032 --> 00:15:59,158 I hope you know that. 495 00:16:00,115 --> 00:16:01,665 I want you to be happy. 496 00:16:01,956 --> 00:16:03,712 I want you to be happy, too, man. 497 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,780 Okay, let's make a deal. 498 00:16:06,547 --> 00:16:09,308 All right, you keep all the physical stuff on the back 499 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:14,695 burner until my baby is birthed, and I'll be completely supportive. 500 00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:18,704 Okay, she'll never take you back. 501 00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:19,437 [Laughs] 502 00:16:19,635 --> 00:16:20,780 Come on, buddy! 503 00:16:22,996 --> 00:16:25,043 Yakult's in that welfare hotel? 504 00:16:25,362 --> 00:16:26,846 That's not a welfare hotel. 505 00:16:26,883 --> 00:16:27,916 It's a condominium. 506 00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:29,813 Just trust me. 507 00:16:30,722 --> 00:16:31,933 I'm trying to help you. 508 00:16:33,173 --> 00:16:36,281 I think you knew I was grounded, so you lied so you could lure 509 00:16:36,318 --> 00:16:37,736 me into east Chatswin so you could murder me so you could 510 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:42,168 get plastic surgery so you could assume my identity so you could be cool. 511 00:16:42,778 --> 00:16:44,788 Yakult isn't even here. 512 00:16:45,191 --> 00:16:45,764 Oh, my God. 513 00:16:45,792 --> 00:16:46,506 There she is. 514 00:16:46,626 --> 00:16:47,323 [ ♪ ] 515 00:16:48,816 --> 00:16:51,708 [ ♪ ] 516 00:18:12,768 --> 00:18:13,998 Mr. wolfe! 517 00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:15,115 Stop! 518 00:18:15,235 --> 00:18:16,635 You didn't see anything! 519 00:18:16,674 --> 00:18:17,829 That's my mom's dog. 520 00:18:17,829 --> 00:18:18,871 No, it isn't. 521 00:18:18,991 --> 00:18:20,167 This is hanson. 522 00:18:20,287 --> 00:18:21,339 What's going on here? 523 00:18:21,378 --> 00:18:23,181 Alan, they're trying to take our dog! 524 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,724 Um... That is the Royces' dog! 525 00:18:24,752 --> 00:18:26,114 Her name is yakult. 526 00:18:26,142 --> 00:18:27,613 She is not hanson. 527 00:18:27,653 --> 00:18:28,902 She doesn't even have a boy part. 528 00:18:28,902 --> 00:18:29,475 Look. 529 00:18:30,874 --> 00:18:32,480 She doesn't have a boy part. 530 00:18:34,473 --> 00:18:35,158 [Gasping] 531 00:18:35,278 --> 00:18:35,920 Oh. 532 00:18:35,928 --> 00:18:36,670 Hanson! 533 00:18:36,688 --> 00:18:38,792 This is exactly why I didn't want to get a dog. 534 00:18:38,912 --> 00:18:40,172 I guess maybe you were right. 535 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,848 No, no, I-I was wrong. 536 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,961 God, Alan, you're so contrary! 537 00:18:44,987 --> 00:18:45,409 Wh... [Sighs] 538 00:18:45,794 --> 00:18:51,005 I think what you and hanson have taught me is, you can't not get a dog forever. 539 00:18:51,268 --> 00:18:54,404 Sooner or later, someone's gonna come along and lick your heart, 540 00:18:55,303 --> 00:18:56,674 the way you licked mine. 541 00:18:57,106 --> 00:19:01,237 So if you want a new dog, I'm open to it now. 542 00:19:01,472 --> 00:19:04,101 But you said that roommates shouldn't... We're not roommates. 543 00:19:04,739 --> 00:19:05,387 [Sighs] 544 00:19:06,844 --> 00:19:11,416 We're homosexual lovers, and it's time I started acting like one. 545 00:19:13,266 --> 00:19:14,637 Can you guys wait till we leave? 546 00:19:14,757 --> 00:19:19,964 Well, part of the problem was I didn't show Mr. wolfe public affection, so, no. 547 00:19:20,298 --> 00:19:21,152 Mmm! 548 00:19:21,171 --> 00:19:22,260 Okay, we're gonna go. 549 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:23,058 [Moaning] 550 00:19:23,178 --> 00:19:30,323 [San Cisco's "golden revolver" [playing] 551 00:19:30,324 --> 00:19:31,924 [ ♪ ] 552 00:19:43,495 --> 00:19:45,918 But these are all homosexual boy clothes. 553 00:19:45,946 --> 00:19:48,697 Yakult was living as a gay male dog in east Chatswin. 554 00:19:49,082 --> 00:19:51,167 I can't thank you enough, Tessa. 555 00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:52,922 It really wasn't me. 556 00:19:53,813 --> 00:19:56,681 It was Dalia. 557 00:19:55,209 --> 00:19:56,374 Dalia? 558 00:19:56,721 --> 00:19:57,961 She's the one who spotted yakult. 559 00:19:58,777 --> 00:19:59,538 Good eyes. 560 00:19:59,658 --> 00:20:00,862 She gets that from my side. 561 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,486 Steven has astigmatism. 562 00:20:02,606 --> 00:20:04,203 I'm sorry I swept, mommy. 563 00:20:04,542 --> 00:20:06,279 I promise I'll never sweep again. 564 00:20:06,908 --> 00:20:09,311 From now on, I'll leave all that up to Carmen, okay? 565 00:20:11,912 --> 00:20:12,523 Okay. 566 00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:15,437 [Barks] 567 00:20:16,395 --> 00:20:17,099 Oh, my God! 568 00:20:17,118 --> 00:20:19,822 It's like you can't stand if someone else get attention for 569 00:20:19,942 --> 00:20:21,278 two seconds, yakult! 570 00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:22,358 We get it! 571 00:20:22,386 --> 00:20:23,673 It's your big day! 572 00:20:24,227 --> 00:20:25,777 [Speaks indistinctly] 573 00:20:25,897 --> 00:20:27,964 Frank, you have any olive branches? 574 00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,660 I think you know damn well I don't. 575 00:20:29,974 --> 00:20:30,838 Eden, wait. 576 00:20:30,958 --> 00:20:31,429 I'm sorry. 577 00:20:31,549 --> 00:20:32,969 Look, hear me out, please. 578 00:20:33,007 --> 00:20:34,077 George, you don't have to explain. 579 00:20:34,086 --> 00:20:35,054 I get it. 580 00:20:35,174 --> 00:20:39,129 You know, it's a weird situation, and you feel uncomfortable. 581 00:20:39,345 --> 00:20:40,180 Didn't work out. 582 00:20:40,396 --> 00:20:43,063 Well... [Singsongy] It sucks. 583 00:20:43,183 --> 00:20:45,176 I know I acted... narrow-minded. 584 00:20:45,296 --> 00:20:45,929 Yeah. 585 00:20:46,699 --> 00:20:48,305 I didn't expect that from you. 586 00:20:49,431 --> 00:20:50,126 Kind of blows. 587 00:20:50,145 --> 00:20:50,483 Well, which is it? 588 00:20:50,493 --> 00:20:52,248 Does it suck or does it blow? 589 00:20:53,873 --> 00:20:54,342 Both. 590 00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:58,659 Eden, I've never been in a situation like this before. 591 00:20:59,347 --> 00:21:02,634 I don't... exactly know how to navigate it, but I have a 592 00:21:02,671 --> 00:21:06,164 feeling I'm gonna regret it if I don't try. 593 00:21:09,857 --> 00:21:11,913 Do you have any other allergies I should be aware of? 594 00:21:12,033 --> 00:21:14,871 Like, where do you stand on steamed squash blossoms? 595 00:21:15,365 --> 00:21:18,492 I reserve the right to be allergic to anything that sounds gross. 596 00:21:18,612 --> 00:21:19,657 Okay. 597 00:21:22,675 --> 00:21:24,722 You know, I'm gonna start showing soon. 598 00:21:25,482 --> 00:21:28,121 Let's just worry about squash blossoms for now. 599 00:21:28,241 --> 00:21:28,919 [Laughs] 600 00:21:28,356 --> 00:21:29,388 Okay. 601 00:21:29,961 --> 00:21:32,525 Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for www.addic7ed.com 40339

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