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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,820 --> 00:00:02,220 Ready Tess? 2 00:00:03,083 --> 00:00:04,903 I was born ready. 3 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,450 The next few minutes would determine whether I would run free, 4 00:00:08,529 --> 00:00:11,106 like a wild coyote with the wind in my fur, 5 00:00:11,172 --> 00:00:13,085 or stay tied to the fence like a rabit... 6 00:00:13,164 --> 00:00:14,284 Tessa! 7 00:00:15,006 --> 00:00:16,777 We have a scheduled appointment. 8 00:00:17,168 --> 00:00:18,288 Sorry. 9 00:00:19,095 --> 00:00:20,865 My last few moments as a Pedestrian. 10 00:00:20,893 --> 00:00:22,324 Cocky. Don't get cocky. 11 00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,523 (Telephone ringing in distance) 12 00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:26,460 Okay. Thank you very much. Good number. 13 00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:27,878 (Chuckles) 14 00:00:27,929 --> 00:00:30,230 (Gasps) Oh, my gosh! 15 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,032 - Hey! - What are you guys doing here? 16 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,367 Antiquing. 17 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:34,551 Well, Dalia's getting her driver's license, 18 00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:36,970 or so we hope. Third time's the charm. 19 00:00:37,005 --> 00:00:38,605 You... oh, she, uh, she failed twice already? 20 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,875 No, no. God, no. I'm rounding down from six. 21 00:00:41,905 --> 00:00:45,624 These Chatswin test administrators are t-u-f-f. 22 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,080 They don't let you hit anything. 23 00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,882 (Woman over P.A.) Tessa Altman, window 25. 24 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:49,883 That's me. 25 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,518 No, that's me, actually. 26 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,270 Okay, check your mirrors. Let him see you 27 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:54,588 check your mirrors. 28 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,756 Why are you assuming it's a he? 29 00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:58,091 Okay. Okay, fair enough, but... 30 00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,609 (Lowered voice) That stereotype exists 31 00:00:59,644 --> 00:01:01,394 for a reason, so you prove them wrong. 32 00:01:01,412 --> 00:01:03,130 Ow! 33 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,599 (Whispers) Prove them wrong. 34 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,535 (Normal voice) Okay. Here. Uh, oh! 35 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,737 Whoo! Sorry. 36 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,423 Whoo. Sorry. 37 00:01:13,458 --> 00:01:15,792 Okay. (Sighs) 38 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,677 It was fun teaching her to drive, you know? 39 00:01:17,695 --> 00:01:19,246 Oh, my gosh, yes. 40 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,031 I'm quite sure Carmen feels the same way 41 00:01:21,065 --> 00:01:22,632 about teaching Dalia. 42 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,768 Although Carmen really shouldn't be driving... 43 00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,720 (Whispers) For so many reasons. 44 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,222 Dalia Royce, window 8. 45 00:01:34,896 --> 00:01:37,197 I think that's me. 46 00:01:37,199 --> 00:01:39,249 Yeah. Yep, it is. 47 00:01:39,283 --> 00:01:40,784 All right. Go get 'em, darlin'! 48 00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:41,752 Yes! 49 00:01:41,803 --> 00:01:44,388 Drive or die trying! 50 00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:46,556 Maybe that's bad advice. 51 00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:52,979 After acing my road test, i decided to fake George out, 52 00:01:53,014 --> 00:01:55,048 like those "Idol" contestants 53 00:01:55,083 --> 00:01:57,050 who hide the yellow piece of paper behind their backs, 54 00:01:57,085 --> 00:02:00,019 even though we totally know they're going to Hollywood. 55 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,988 You're going to Hollywood! 56 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:02,989 Whoo! 57 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,624 (Laughs) Oh, yes! 58 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:05,792 He said I was perfect... 59 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,177 Mm! My parallel parking... 60 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,228 Mm! 61 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,796 My 3-point turn, 62 00:02:09,814 --> 00:02:12,199 and my choice in radio station. 63 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,366 Unh! 64 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,835 College indie? 65 00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:16,470 Smooth jazz. He was old, 66 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:17,904 so I played to the crowd. (Chuckles) 67 00:02:17,939 --> 00:02:18,855 Very smart. 68 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,874 Mm! How'd Dalia do? 69 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:23,210 Oh. (Man) You're gonna be all right. Try to keep your head... 70 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,545 As expected. 71 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,813 I'm telling you, she didn't use the mirrors. 72 00:02:26,848 --> 00:02:29,416 Not even a blinker. I'm okay. 73 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,368 Sync and corrected by dr.jackson for www.addic7ed.com 74 00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:36,206 (Alih Jay) ♪ last night I had a pleasant nightmare ♪ 75 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,426 ♪ da-da-da-da, da, da, da, da ♪ 76 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,545 No highways, no cell phones, 77 00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,062 and you're not allowed to go over 50. 78 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,498 And you're not allowed to act over 50. Give me the keys. 79 00:02:45,516 --> 00:02:48,134 I'll call you when I want to be picked up, okay? 80 00:02:48,186 --> 00:02:49,536 Are you sure you want me to leave you here? 81 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,471 You've been here for, like, five days in a row. 82 00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:54,474 I can take you to a library or something. 83 00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:56,443 They have a library. (Chuckles) 84 00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,244 I figured since Noah gave me his guest pass, 85 00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,046 I might as well take advantage of it. 86 00:03:00,081 --> 00:03:03,750 Oh, George was definitely taking advantage of it. 87 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,802 (Man) Hey, George. 88 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,609 Whew! Nothing... Nothing takes it off you 89 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,746 like a good steam, right, Marty? 90 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,782 Marty? 91 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:36,816 I'm alive. 92 00:03:36,851 --> 00:03:37,951 Oh. 93 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,788 Mr. Altman? I'm sorry. 94 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,456 This is a little awkward. (Chuckles) 95 00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:45,125 Oh, it's fine. I'm wearing underwear. 96 00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:48,195 I'm sorry to inform you, your guest pass has expired. 97 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,796 Oh, well, okay. That's no problem. 98 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,631 Can I just have Noah renew it? 99 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,867 "Can I just have Noah renew it?" 100 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,870 Uh, no, you cannot. Guesses are nonrenewable, 101 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,505 so I'm afraid this is good-bye. 102 00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,640 Can I just finish my steam? 103 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:01,758 I couldn't just finish my steam? 104 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,176 Brutal, buddy. 105 00:04:03,211 --> 00:04:04,427 Mind taking a step back? 106 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,012 You're dripping all over my gorditas. (Chuckles) 107 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,430 So isn't there something you can do? 108 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,083 Well, the guest membership thing was always temporary. 109 00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,484 It had to end sometime, 110 00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,220 and frankly, I'm surprised they let it go on this long. 111 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,738 Hey, why don't you join the club, George? 112 00:04:14,772 --> 00:04:17,073 Fred, why don't you have another Arnold Palmer 113 00:04:17,108 --> 00:04:18,558 and enjoy your own business? 114 00:04:18,576 --> 00:04:19,859 Oh, don't mind if I do. 115 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,194 Maybe I should just join. 116 00:04:21,229 --> 00:04:22,762 H-half the business I've done since I moved here 117 00:04:22,797 --> 00:04:24,897 came from contacts I made in this place. 118 00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,065 Membership practically pay for itself. 119 00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:28,451 Well, I don't know about that, Fred. 120 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,204 So what do you think, Noah? Will you sponsor me? 121 00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,174 Yes, will you? 122 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,576 Now don't be crazy. (Laughing) 123 00:04:36,594 --> 00:04:37,877 So that's a "yes"? 124 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,913 Is it? I don't... 125 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,414 (Noah and Fred laugh) 126 00:04:41,432 --> 00:04:43,717 George, it goes against all of my be instincts 127 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,553 to tell you this, but management says 128 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,972 you can't be in here without clothes on. 129 00:04:49,006 --> 00:04:51,091 All right. I'm... I'm going. 130 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:55,028 Yeah, not with that robe, you're not. Sorry. Club rules. 131 00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,896 (Chuckles) 132 00:04:56,931 --> 00:04:58,315 Suddenly, I was at the top of the food chain. 133 00:04:58,349 --> 00:04:59,899 I was a driver. 134 00:04:59,934 --> 00:05:02,102 Heard you passed your driver's test. 135 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,688 Heard you didn't. 136 00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:07,624 Did you get whiplash watching me surpass you in every way? 137 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:11,344 Yeah, and also when I ran into the dog grooming truck. 138 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,179 (Kenzie and Kaitlyn) Ask her about the ride 139 00:05:13,197 --> 00:05:14,581 before the late bell rings. 140 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,683 Are you guys identical? 141 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:20,320 Almost. Her eyes are more cat, and mine are more almond. 142 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:24,391 She hates onions and olives, and I only hate onions... 143 00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,892 And olives. 144 00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,360 That makes sense. 145 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:30,030 Tessa, I'd like to commission your services. 146 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,698 I don't offer any services. 147 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:32,666 You drive. 148 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,468 Yeah, but I don't drive you. 149 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,736 She' pay you 20 bucks. 150 00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,438 (Scoffs) 20 bucks. 151 00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,507 Fine. I'll double it. 152 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:42,876 50 bucks. 153 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,260 Check your math. 154 00:05:44,312 --> 00:05:48,765 Check your attitude, hooker. Will you drive me or not? 155 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,786 70 bucks, okay? (Sighs) It's important. 156 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,854 I'd never seen Dalia so desperate. 157 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:58,258 Maybe she needed a ride to rehab or to the ob-gyn. 158 00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:00,960 Either way, she was clearly reaching out for help, 159 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,962 so I did the only thing i could do. 160 00:06:02,997 --> 00:06:05,198 Make it $100, and you buy gas. 161 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,904 Can you break $1,000? 162 00:06:13,341 --> 00:06:15,208 Is that grover Cleveland? 163 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:18,611 (Bell rings) 164 00:06:19,476 --> 00:06:20,752 Can't you go any faster? 165 00:06:20,791 --> 00:06:22,992 - Not in a school zone. - What if he leaves? 166 00:06:23,031 --> 00:06:24,893 I'm sure he won't leave. What time is your appointment? 167 00:06:24,932 --> 00:06:26,585 I don't have an appointment. 168 00:06:26,651 --> 00:06:28,635 We're going to see Scott Strauss. 169 00:06:28,703 --> 00:06:30,570 - Who's Scott Strauss? - Oh, my God. 170 00:06:30,605 --> 00:06:32,289 That's the dumbest question I've ever heard. 171 00:06:32,323 --> 00:06:33,740 "Who's Scott Strauss?" 172 00:06:33,774 --> 00:06:35,175 Scott Strauss graduated last year, 173 00:06:35,209 --> 00:06:37,093 and he's, like, the hottest guy to walk the face of the Earth, 174 00:06:37,128 --> 00:06:40,063 including Jesus, our pool guy, who's also superhot. 175 00:06:40,097 --> 00:06:41,414 Pass this man. Pass him! 176 00:06:41,449 --> 00:06:43,083 It's a solid yellow line. 177 00:06:43,117 --> 00:06:44,784 Like anyone knows what that is. 178 00:06:44,802 --> 00:06:46,653 You're not even a good backseat driver. 179 00:06:46,687 --> 00:06:48,405 Oh, my God. My mom would kill me 180 00:06:48,456 --> 00:06:50,040 if she knew was back on Scott Strauss. 181 00:06:50,074 --> 00:06:51,491 She paid me a thousand ancient dollars 182 00:06:51,526 --> 00:06:53,026 not to jock him. 183 00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:54,594 And yet you continue to jock. 184 00:06:54,629 --> 00:06:57,214 A lot has happened since I made that promise. 185 00:06:57,298 --> 00:06:58,331 Scott broke up with Brianna, 186 00:06:58,365 --> 00:07:00,366 and she went on a teen tour and got chlamydia. 187 00:07:00,384 --> 00:07:03,453 Oh, my God! That's it. That's Scott's house. 188 00:07:03,488 --> 00:07:04,604 Do you want me to stop? 189 00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:05,922 No, you loser. Keep going. 190 00:07:05,973 --> 00:07:08,341 Circle the block. Circle the block! 191 00:07:08,359 --> 00:07:11,711 (Sighs) I hate this job. 192 00:07:11,745 --> 00:07:13,346 (Knock on door) (Jazz music playing) 193 00:07:13,381 --> 00:07:14,814 Noah? Hey, man. 194 00:07:14,849 --> 00:07:17,217 George? You shouldn't be in here. 195 00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:18,351 Oh. 196 00:07:18,386 --> 00:07:19,486 Uh, less it's okay with the patient. 197 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,854 (Mouth full, mumbles) 198 00:07:20,888 --> 00:07:23,289 She says it's okay. What's up? 199 00:07:23,307 --> 00:07:24,624 (Door closes) So... (Sighs) What's going on with my application? 200 00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:26,593 I called the club. They haven't heard from you yet. 201 00:07:26,627 --> 00:07:29,196 They haven't? That's crazy. 202 00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:30,197 So you called? 203 00:07:30,231 --> 00:07:31,231 - No. - So what's the deal? 204 00:07:31,265 --> 00:07:32,532 Do you not want me to join the club? 205 00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,434 Because I'm... I'm getting a weird vibe from you. 206 00:07:34,468 --> 00:07:36,670 Vibe? What vibe? There is no vibe. 207 00:07:36,704 --> 00:07:39,005 Really? Because last week in the locker room, 208 00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:41,775 I borrowed your shampoo, and you shot me this dirty look. 209 00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:44,878 What? Get outta here. There is no dirty look. 210 00:07:44,912 --> 00:07:48,164 This face can't make a dirty look. See? 211 00:07:48,216 --> 00:07:49,482 That's as dirty as it gets. 212 00:07:49,517 --> 00:07:51,551 (Chuckles) So you're okay with me joining? 213 00:07:51,569 --> 00:07:53,453 Of course, although you should know, 214 00:07:53,487 --> 00:07:55,255 they're gonna make you jump through some hoops. 215 00:07:55,289 --> 00:07:56,690 Okay. How many hoops? 216 00:07:56,724 --> 00:08:00,293 Mm. There's the application, uh, the new member interview. 217 00:08:00,327 --> 00:08:02,295 They're gonna make you wear a suit for that. 218 00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:03,330 So two hoops. 219 00:08:04,498 --> 00:08:08,167 Oh, she's right. There's also an essay. 220 00:08:08,219 --> 00:08:09,769 Why are we doing this again, Dalia? 221 00:08:09,804 --> 00:08:11,404 We're running... 222 00:08:11,439 --> 00:08:13,773 Actually we're fine on gas. It's a Prius. 223 00:08:13,807 --> 00:08:15,608 Every day, we're circling. 224 00:08:15,626 --> 00:08:18,745 We're circling and circling and circling until we see him, 225 00:08:18,779 --> 00:08:19,846 or you're fired. 226 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,514 Fine. I'm fired. 227 00:08:21,548 --> 00:08:23,099 This isn't how I want to spend my life anyway. 228 00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:26,870 I'm tired and dizzy, and... I have driver's itch. 229 00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:27,921 (Gasps) Look out! 230 00:08:27,955 --> 00:08:29,589 (Tires screech, crash, creaks) 231 00:08:29,624 --> 00:08:31,291 Oh, my God. (Dog barking in distance) 232 00:08:31,325 --> 00:08:32,459 I hit somebody. 233 00:08:32,493 --> 00:08:34,027 I'm a reckless driver. 234 00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:35,662 I am a brand-new, reckless driver! 235 00:08:35,696 --> 00:08:39,783 Tessa, you just banged Scott Strauss. 236 00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:41,167 ♪ 237 00:08:41,202 --> 00:08:44,037 ♪ da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da ♪ 238 00:08:44,071 --> 00:08:45,622 ♪ hey, you ♪ hey, you 239 00:08:45,656 --> 00:08:47,807 ♪ I really wanna know ya 240 00:08:47,842 --> 00:08:50,477 ♪ da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da ♪ 241 00:08:50,511 --> 00:08:52,279 ♪ yeah, you ♪ yeah, you 242 00:08:52,313 --> 00:08:54,147 ♪ I really wanna know ya 243 00:08:58,853 --> 00:09:00,754 (pants) Okay. Stay calm. 244 00:09:00,821 --> 00:09:04,557 Pull over to a safe area. Exchange insurance information. 245 00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:06,660 Do not assume responsibility. 246 00:09:06,694 --> 00:09:08,128 And ask him out for me. 247 00:09:08,162 --> 00:09:10,063 Dalia, I have other problems right now. 248 00:09:10,097 --> 00:09:13,300 You're gonna he a long, blonde problem 249 00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:15,535 if you don't ask out Scott Strauss. 250 00:09:16,921 --> 00:09:17,904 50 more bucks. 251 00:09:17,922 --> 00:09:21,574 ♪ I really wanna know ya 252 00:09:21,609 --> 00:09:23,493 (car door closes) 253 00:09:23,527 --> 00:09:25,111 - Hey, are you okay? - Before you say anything, 254 00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:26,079 I just want you to know I'm not assuming 255 00:09:26,113 --> 00:09:28,148 any responsibility. 256 00:09:28,182 --> 00:09:30,350 Don't worry about it. There's no damage. 257 00:09:30,368 --> 00:09:32,452 Although... maybe we should exchange'em, 258 00:09:32,486 --> 00:09:34,137 - just to be safe. - I have your information. 259 00:09:34,171 --> 00:09:36,756 You're Scott Strauss. You drive an A6. 260 00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:38,758 You used to go out with this dumb girl named Brianna, 261 00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,176 who went on this teen tour and got some... 262 00:09:40,211 --> 00:09:42,996 Okay, okay. You already have my information, 263 00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,365 so... maybe you should give me yours. 264 00:09:45,399 --> 00:09:49,019 I'm Tessa. I recently moved here from New York. 265 00:09:49,053 --> 00:09:52,455 I like pad thai and rear-ending people. 266 00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,107 (Horn honks) 267 00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:57,944 Sorry. Great gas mileage, but... sporadic honking. 268 00:09:57,978 --> 00:10:00,096 So... aren't you curious 269 00:10:00,147 --> 00:10:01,715 how I know all that stuff about you? 270 00:10:01,749 --> 00:10:03,483 I just figured you were Facebook stalking me. 271 00:10:03,517 --> 00:10:06,586 Me? Stalk you? 272 00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:09,422 No. (Chuckles) No, no, no. 273 00:10:09,457 --> 00:10:12,258 Dalia Royce is stalking you... Your next girlfriend. 274 00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:14,494 What makes you think Dalia's my next girlfriend? 275 00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:17,864 Judging from what I know about Brianna, she's your type. 276 00:10:17,898 --> 00:10:19,282 Maybe I have a new type. 277 00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:20,701 You don't. 278 00:10:21,635 --> 00:10:23,336 So should we pick you up around 8:00? 279 00:10:23,371 --> 00:10:24,337 "We"? 280 00:10:24,372 --> 00:10:26,239 I'm Dalia's driver. 281 00:10:28,971 --> 00:10:30,688 Whew. 282 00:10:30,723 --> 00:10:33,291 I'm not doing underwear. That's fine, right? 283 00:10:34,326 --> 00:10:35,410 (Sighs) 284 00:10:35,444 --> 00:10:36,861 Close the door. 285 00:10:36,895 --> 00:10:38,763 Marty, I was in the process of closing it 286 00:10:38,798 --> 00:10:40,198 as you're telling me to close it. 287 00:10:40,232 --> 00:10:41,733 (Door closes) If you had waited even a half a second, 288 00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,334 the door would have already been closed. 289 00:10:43,369 --> 00:10:46,037 See? There. Look. It's closed, Marty. 290 00:10:46,071 --> 00:10:47,572 Everything okay, George? 291 00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,191 Not really, dude. I'm jumping through hoops. 292 00:10:50,242 --> 00:10:52,193 I bought the suit. I wrote the essay. 293 00:10:52,228 --> 00:10:53,711 (Sighs) Then the office tells me you haven't even bothered 294 00:10:53,746 --> 00:10:55,747 to fill out the sponsor section. 295 00:10:55,815 --> 00:10:58,116 I walk in here. I find you with Marty. 296 00:10:58,150 --> 00:10:59,450 What's the deal? 297 00:10:59,468 --> 00:11:02,220 Hey, is this a, uh, privates party? (Chuckles) 298 00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:05,957 (Laughs) Look, George, uh, why don't you go 299 00:11:05,991 --> 00:11:08,026 take a cold plunge and calm down? (Chuckles) 300 00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:10,061 Well, because I'm not allowed in the cold plunge, Noah, 301 00:11:10,095 --> 00:11:11,362 and I think you know that. 302 00:11:11,397 --> 00:11:12,497 Well, you're not allowed in here, either, 303 00:11:12,531 --> 00:11:13,965 but that didn't seem to stop you. 304 00:11:13,999 --> 00:11:15,266 If you didn't want to sponsor me, 305 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,068 why didn't you just say so? I would have asked Fred. 306 00:11:17,102 --> 00:11:19,838 Fred, w-would have been happy to sponsor me. Right, Fred? 307 00:11:19,872 --> 00:11:22,240 Well, I'd have to ask Sheila, but I suppose so. 308 00:11:22,274 --> 00:11:25,727 And if you're worried about your precious shampoo, don't be. 309 00:11:25,761 --> 00:11:27,278 I won't borrow it again. 310 00:11:27,313 --> 00:11:29,864 To be 100% honest, it robbed my hair of body 311 00:11:29,899 --> 00:11:31,549 and stripped it of shine. 312 00:11:31,584 --> 00:11:33,067 It's not about the shampoo, George. 313 00:11:33,102 --> 00:11:34,536 Oh. (Chuckles) Okay. Marty, you heard that? 314 00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,087 Yeah. Yeah. It's not about the shampoo, 315 00:11:36,121 --> 00:11:37,522 but it is about something. 316 00:11:37,556 --> 00:11:38,656 He admitted it. He doesn't want me here. 317 00:11:38,691 --> 00:11:40,892 Look, this is why. You're looking at Marty. 318 00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:43,077 I introduced you to Marty. I own Marty! 319 00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:44,062 This is my Marty! 320 00:11:44,096 --> 00:11:45,497 - Hmm. - Sit down, Marty! 321 00:11:45,531 --> 00:11:46,498 Okay, I get it. 322 00:11:46,532 --> 00:11:47,782 So you want me in your club, 323 00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,117 but you don't want me in your club. 324 00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:51,603 I'm starting to think I don't want you in either, 325 00:11:51,637 --> 00:11:54,255 so why don't you do us all a favor, g-bag? 326 00:11:54,306 --> 00:11:58,276 Grab your dopp kit and go dig your car out of self-parking! 327 00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:01,980 You are a pompous baby! 328 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:03,431 You say that again... 329 00:12:03,482 --> 00:12:04,782 Pompous baby! 330 00:12:04,817 --> 00:12:05,850 - That's it. (Grunts) - No! 331 00:12:05,868 --> 00:12:07,035 No! 332 00:12:07,086 --> 00:12:08,703 (Both grunting) 333 00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:10,605 Aah! 334 00:12:10,639 --> 00:12:14,759 (Yelling) 335 00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:15,960 I got you now. 336 00:12:15,995 --> 00:12:18,996 Aah! Get off me! 337 00:12:19,014 --> 00:12:20,614 ♪ 338 00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:26,537 (Floor squeaks) Aah. 339 00:12:26,555 --> 00:12:27,755 Dr. Werner, your face! 340 00:12:27,806 --> 00:12:29,807 Noah, relax... (Grunts) 341 00:12:29,841 --> 00:12:30,775 Hey! Hey, get off me, you goon! 342 00:12:30,809 --> 00:12:34,412 (All grunting and groaning) 343 00:12:34,446 --> 00:12:37,748 Aah! (Grunts) Ohh. 344 00:12:37,766 --> 00:12:38,749 (Grunts) 345 00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:40,017 Ohh! 346 00:12:40,035 --> 00:12:41,386 (Snaps) Ow! 347 00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:43,120 Uh, I've got a 2:00 tee-off, 348 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,807 so I'm just gonna head on out of here. 349 00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:48,710 So Scott said that he would go out with Dalia? 350 00:12:48,744 --> 00:12:49,694 Mm-hmm. 351 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,029 (Mouth full) That's weird. 352 00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:53,231 Why? From I hear, he's exactly like her. 353 00:12:53,265 --> 00:12:54,532 He is nothing like her. 354 00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:57,869 He just spent the last year volunteering in Zambia. 355 00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:59,404 He has global awareness. 356 00:12:59,438 --> 00:13:00,638 - Really? - Yeah. 357 00:13:00,673 --> 00:13:01,706 After he broke up with Brianna, 358 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:02,974 Scott deferred carnegie mellon 359 00:13:03,008 --> 00:13:05,143 to help sick, impoverished orphans. 360 00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:07,011 He cooked meals, helped build wells. 361 00:13:07,046 --> 00:13:08,446 He mounted a Zambian production of "Pippin," 362 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,248 which I'm told was very well-received. 363 00:13:10,282 --> 00:13:13,184 (Chuckles) This guy sounds amazing. 364 00:13:13,218 --> 00:13:15,670 Why would he go out with Dalia? It's such a waste. 365 00:13:15,704 --> 00:13:18,122 He also helped clean up waste... 366 00:13:18,157 --> 00:13:20,158 Another big problem in that country. 367 00:13:20,192 --> 00:13:21,926 (Cell phone rings) 368 00:13:21,961 --> 00:13:22,877 (Ring) 369 00:13:22,912 --> 00:13:24,495 Hello? 370 00:13:25,965 --> 00:13:27,332 Oh, hey, Dalia. 371 00:13:27,366 --> 00:13:29,567 I was so busy hearing stories about Scott Strauss, 372 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,219 i forgot I had to pick up Scott Strauss, 373 00:13:31,253 --> 00:13:32,704 and since George took the Prius, 374 00:13:32,738 --> 00:13:34,789 we had to resort to plan "B"... 375 00:13:35,891 --> 00:13:37,675 As in Bentley. 376 00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:40,077 All I could think about as I ran my hands 377 00:13:40,095 --> 00:13:41,946 across the Italian leather steering wheel 378 00:13:41,981 --> 00:13:44,782 was not how many children in Zambia this could feed, 379 00:13:44,817 --> 00:13:46,217 but how long would it be before I could afford 380 00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:47,852 a whip like this for myself? 381 00:13:47,886 --> 00:13:51,990 Zambia... is that, like, antidepressant? 382 00:13:52,024 --> 00:13:54,525 Is that the one that gives you diarrhea? 383 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:57,295 No, it's not. 384 00:13:57,329 --> 00:13:59,864 We're here. 385 00:13:59,898 --> 00:14:01,466 (Seat belt buckle clicks) 386 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,268 (Indistinct conversations) 387 00:14:06,305 --> 00:14:07,805 Look... (Sighs) 388 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,674 It was really cool what you did, setting me up with Scott, 389 00:14:09,708 --> 00:14:11,943 so I just wanted to say... 390 00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:16,881 "Thanks"? 391 00:14:16,915 --> 00:14:18,349 You're welcome, 392 00:14:18,384 --> 00:14:21,119 and so am I. (Chuckles) 393 00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,454 It was the first time i had seen Dalia smile. 394 00:14:23,472 --> 00:14:27,291 She looked so... human. 395 00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:30,828 I guess in some strange way, i was happy that she was happy. 396 00:14:33,632 --> 00:14:36,184 Forgot my wallet. 397 00:14:36,218 --> 00:14:39,537 Oh, and I assume you know that the only reason I went 398 00:14:39,571 --> 00:14:40,672 on this date with Dalia was so that I could spend 399 00:14:40,706 --> 00:14:42,707 some more time with you. 400 00:14:42,741 --> 00:14:44,308 Tessa, this is huge. 401 00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:45,543 I know. 402 00:14:45,561 --> 00:14:47,245 No. No, you don't. You don't understand. 403 00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:48,880 Scott Strauss likes you. 404 00:14:48,914 --> 00:14:51,232 I know. I told you that. 405 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,184 (Door opens) The losers are winning. 406 00:14:53,218 --> 00:14:54,819 (Singsongy) There's my girl. 407 00:14:54,837 --> 00:14:56,304 (Door closes) 408 00:14:56,338 --> 00:14:57,271 Where's your girl? 409 00:14:57,306 --> 00:14:59,157 There. You. 410 00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:00,692 So, what? 411 00:15:00,726 --> 00:15:04,095 Like, you guys are, like, friends now? 412 00:15:04,163 --> 00:15:06,497 (Mouths word) 413 00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:08,032 As Dalia tried to welcome me 414 00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:10,218 into a club I had no intention of joining, 415 00:15:10,252 --> 00:15:11,436 George was finding that his club 416 00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,137 didn't want him as a member. 417 00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:15,206 Wee so sorry to deny your application. 418 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,276 Deny my application? Did you read my essay? 419 00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:19,811 We did... 420 00:15:19,845 --> 00:15:22,046 (Men clear throats) 421 00:15:22,081 --> 00:15:23,414 But there was a ding. 422 00:15:23,449 --> 00:15:25,283 - A ding? - Somebody dinged you, 423 00:15:25,317 --> 00:15:29,353 and once you've been dinged, I'm afraid you can't be un-dung. 424 00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:30,405 Dang. 425 00:15:30,439 --> 00:15:32,323 I... (Sighs) Who dinged me? 426 00:15:32,341 --> 00:15:33,758 Y-you know what? Don't even tell me. 427 00:15:33,792 --> 00:15:35,293 It was... it was Noah Werner, wasn't it? 428 00:15:35,327 --> 00:15:38,329 I'm sorry, Mr. Altman. All dings are anonymous, 429 00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:40,598 and that is, of course, to encourage dinging. 430 00:15:40,632 --> 00:15:42,633 (Chuckles) 431 00:15:42,668 --> 00:15:44,435 Your application is denied. 432 00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:47,438 Well, George... (Sighs) We gave it our best shot. 433 00:15:47,473 --> 00:15:50,875 So close, too. You're going to have to leave the club now. 434 00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,910 (Clears throat) 435 00:15:52,945 --> 00:15:55,279 I've always wanted to visit Africa. 436 00:15:55,314 --> 00:15:58,015 Was the scenery so beautiful you couldn't even catch your breath? 437 00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:01,052 Actually, it was kinda like Chatswin, 438 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:04,122 but with more elephants. 439 00:16:04,156 --> 00:16:05,623 And less cougars? 440 00:16:05,657 --> 00:16:06,858 I don't know. 441 00:16:06,892 --> 00:16:10,261 Some of those older zulu women were... pretty hot. 442 00:16:10,295 --> 00:16:11,262 (Laughs) 443 00:16:11,296 --> 00:16:12,964 (Laughs) 444 00:16:12,998 --> 00:16:15,800 Honestly, everything was so vivid. 445 00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:17,969 Like, you look up, 446 00:16:18,003 --> 00:16:20,304 and there's a totally different moon in the sky. 447 00:16:20,339 --> 00:16:22,306 I wanted to say, "we shouldn't do this." 448 00:16:22,374 --> 00:16:24,208 I wanted to say, "I know Dalia likes you, 449 00:16:24,243 --> 00:16:25,877 "and even if she and I aren't friends, 450 00:16:25,911 --> 00:16:29,380 it's still wrong," but all I actually said was... 451 00:16:29,414 --> 00:16:30,681 Wow. 452 00:16:33,212 --> 00:16:34,957 Congratulations. 453 00:16:34,975 --> 00:16:36,258 What's this? 454 00:16:36,293 --> 00:16:38,561 What's it look like? It's a membership card. 455 00:16:38,595 --> 00:16:39,562 I got you in. 456 00:16:39,629 --> 00:16:41,463 I thought I couldn't be un-dung. 457 00:16:41,498 --> 00:16:42,584 Un-dung? 458 00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:44,894 - You dinged me. - I didn't ding you. 459 00:16:45,502 --> 00:16:47,770 Although I did give you a shiner, didn't I? 460 00:16:47,804 --> 00:16:50,358 Hey, don't... don't kid yourself. That was from Marty. 461 00:16:50,874 --> 00:16:52,341 So why the sudden change of heart? 462 00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:54,210 I thought you didn't want me in your club. 463 00:16:54,244 --> 00:16:56,645 What can I say? I'm a child, all right? 464 00:16:56,663 --> 00:16:58,647 I gave you a toy to play with 465 00:16:58,665 --> 00:17:01,984 and then got upset when you were playing with it. 466 00:17:02,002 --> 00:17:04,170 I'm a flawed person, George. I am. 467 00:17:04,204 --> 00:17:07,223 I want to change. I do. 468 00:17:07,257 --> 00:17:09,675 (Whispers) But I'm never going to... 469 00:17:09,709 --> 00:17:11,227 (Normal voice) So I got you in the club. 470 00:17:11,261 --> 00:17:12,711 I haven't fought like that since I was a kid 471 00:17:12,762 --> 00:17:14,380 with my brother, 472 00:17:14,431 --> 00:17:16,799 which made me realize, you're like family, George. 473 00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:21,003 Well, thanks, Noah, 474 00:17:21,021 --> 00:17:22,137 but... (Cup clatters) 475 00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:24,673 To be honest, getting dinged was probably 476 00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:25,841 the best thing that could have happened. 477 00:17:25,859 --> 00:17:27,443 I can't afford the dues to that place. 478 00:17:27,477 --> 00:17:29,511 I can't even afford your shampoo. 479 00:17:29,546 --> 00:17:31,480 You don't have to pay dues. 480 00:17:31,514 --> 00:17:34,416 Like I said, you're family, 481 00:17:34,451 --> 00:17:36,702 so I added you to my family plan. 482 00:17:36,736 --> 00:17:38,821 What? (Laughs) 483 00:17:38,855 --> 00:17:40,239 "George Werner"? 484 00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:42,024 What, you added me as your brother? 485 00:17:42,058 --> 00:17:43,792 Actually, I added you as my son, 486 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,395 so please watch your tone with me. 487 00:17:46,429 --> 00:17:48,864 So we're country club people now, huh? 488 00:17:48,882 --> 00:17:50,099 (Chuckles) 489 00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:51,967 Shouldn't we have people folding these for us? 490 00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:54,053 I wouldn't call us "country club people." 491 00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:57,139 You know, we... we... we bong to a club 492 00:17:57,173 --> 00:17:59,475 that happens to... 493 00:17:59,509 --> 00:18:03,545 Be in... the country. 494 00:18:03,563 --> 00:18:05,213 We're country club people. 495 00:18:05,232 --> 00:18:07,900 Did you ever find out who dinged you? 496 00:18:07,934 --> 00:18:09,485 No. No, and it's driving me crazy. 497 00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:11,654 I hate the idea that there's somebody out there 498 00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:14,023 who has an anonymous problem with me. 499 00:18:14,057 --> 00:18:15,557 Come right out and tell me to my face. 500 00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:17,059 Be a man, you know? 501 00:18:17,077 --> 00:18:20,162 Yeah. I did know. 502 00:18:20,196 --> 00:18:23,032 I had to be a man. 503 00:18:28,204 --> 00:18:29,755 Oh, my gosh, Dalia. 504 00:18:29,789 --> 00:18:31,790 Something so, so exciting just happened. 505 00:18:31,841 --> 00:18:35,678 Your very good friend stopped by unexpectedly to pay you a visit. 506 00:18:35,712 --> 00:18:36,679 - Kimantha? - No. 507 00:18:36,713 --> 00:18:38,080 - Kenzie? - No. 508 00:18:38,114 --> 00:18:39,615 - Kaitlyn? - No, it's... 509 00:18:39,649 --> 00:18:40,683 - Sue? - No. 510 00:18:40,717 --> 00:18:42,685 It's me. Tessa. 511 00:18:42,719 --> 00:18:44,019 Oh. 512 00:18:44,054 --> 00:18:45,287 Hey. 513 00:18:45,322 --> 00:18:47,189 Can I get you girls anything to drink? 514 00:18:47,223 --> 00:18:49,258 I could whip up some Virgin Marys. 515 00:18:49,292 --> 00:18:51,777 I don't let Dalia have hard liquor on school nights. 516 00:18:51,811 --> 00:18:53,829 No, thanks, Dallas. I'm not staying long. 517 00:18:53,863 --> 00:18:55,430 Okay. 518 00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:56,649 I'm just making a collage 519 00:18:56,700 --> 00:19:00,302 of me and Scott Strauss and Lil Wayne for my locker. 520 00:19:00,337 --> 00:19:02,905 That's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. 521 00:19:02,939 --> 00:19:04,773 - Weezy? - Scott Strauss. 522 00:19:04,808 --> 00:19:08,377 Dalia, Scott likes someone else, 523 00:19:08,411 --> 00:19:11,513 and I wanted you to hear it from me, 524 00:19:11,548 --> 00:19:12,781 because it's me. 525 00:19:14,684 --> 00:19:16,318 Yeah, right. (Scribbling) 526 00:19:16,353 --> 00:19:18,253 I hung out with him yesterday, 527 00:19:18,288 --> 00:19:19,855 but you liked him first, 528 00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:21,957 so I'm not gonna see him anymore. 529 00:19:21,975 --> 00:19:23,625 You think you're doing me some sort of favor... 530 00:19:23,643 --> 00:19:24,626 (Pen clatters) 531 00:19:24,661 --> 00:19:26,161 Letting my boyfriend be my boyfriend? 532 00:19:26,196 --> 00:19:29,498 (Scoffs) He's not your boyfriend. 533 00:19:29,532 --> 00:19:31,767 He only went out with you because he likes me. 534 00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:34,636 Tessa, you remind me of Tyler Perry right now. 535 00:19:34,654 --> 00:19:36,672 You're joking, but you're not funny. 536 00:19:36,706 --> 00:19:38,674 I'm not joking, 537 00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:41,343 although I don't disagree with you about Tyler Perry. 538 00:19:41,378 --> 00:19:43,028 I don't know even know why I came here. 539 00:19:43,079 --> 00:19:47,166 Yeah, it was dumb, and let me spell out just how dumb it was. 540 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,918 "D" is for Dalia. That's my name, 541 00:19:49,953 --> 00:19:52,988 and "U" is for you, who snaked Scott Strauss, 542 00:19:53,006 --> 00:19:55,424 and "M" is for Mrs. Scott Strauss. 543 00:19:55,458 --> 00:19:56,709 That's also my name. 544 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:57,726 You forgot the "B." 545 00:19:57,761 --> 00:20:01,196 No, I didn't, beeyotch. Game on. 546 00:20:01,231 --> 00:20:03,732 Fine. Game on... 547 00:20:04,634 --> 00:20:05,851 Beeyotch. 548 00:20:09,856 --> 00:20:12,358 (Indistinct conversations) 549 00:20:12,392 --> 00:20:15,310 Hey, Walter, keep your head down out there, all right? 550 00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:16,344 Ha. Thanks. (Chuckles) 551 00:20:16,363 --> 00:20:17,646 What does that even mean, George? 552 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,398 I don't know, but I hear somebody else say it. 553 00:20:19,449 --> 00:20:22,785 Morning, Mr. Altman. 554 00:20:22,819 --> 00:20:24,620 Hello there, Jocelyn. How are you? 555 00:20:24,654 --> 00:20:27,456 I hear you're a member now. Congratulations. 556 00:20:27,490 --> 00:20:28,690 Yes, I am a member, 557 00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:30,159 so I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other. 558 00:20:30,193 --> 00:20:31,526 Right here in this dining room we will be, 559 00:20:31,544 --> 00:20:34,797 but outside of the dining room, not so much. (Sighs) 560 00:20:34,831 --> 00:20:36,165 Club members can't date employees. 561 00:20:36,199 --> 00:20:38,133 It's against the rules. (Inhales deeply) 562 00:20:38,168 --> 00:20:40,702 I'll be right back with some cream. 563 00:20:43,406 --> 00:20:44,807 Ding. 564 00:20:44,841 --> 00:20:46,241 Ding? 565 00:20:46,276 --> 00:20:49,044 (Glass clinks) 566 00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:50,345 (Whispers) Ding. 567 00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:51,680 Let's face it. 568 00:20:51,714 --> 00:20:53,715 We don't fit in. We don't look like them. 569 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:54,933 We don't act like them, 570 00:20:54,935 --> 00:20:57,152 and we definitely don't play by their rules, 571 00:20:57,187 --> 00:20:59,238 we don't but two things, will always be true... 572 00:20:59,272 --> 00:21:01,657 They poach the hell out of an egg, 573 00:21:01,691 --> 00:21:04,118 and I have my driver's license. 574 00:21:04,691 --> 00:21:10,023 Sync and corrected by dr.jackson for www.addic7ed.com 41743

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