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1
00:00:00,820 --> 00:00:02,220
Ready Tess?
2
00:00:03,083 --> 00:00:04,903
I was born ready.
3
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:08,450
The next few minutes would determine
whether I would run free,
4
00:00:08,529 --> 00:00:11,106
like a wild coyote with
the wind in my fur,
5
00:00:11,172 --> 00:00:13,085
or stay tied to the
fence like a rabit...
6
00:00:13,164 --> 00:00:14,284
Tessa!
7
00:00:15,006 --> 00:00:16,777
We have a scheduled appointment.
8
00:00:17,168 --> 00:00:18,288
Sorry.
9
00:00:19,095 --> 00:00:20,865
My last few moments
as a Pedestrian.
10
00:00:20,893 --> 00:00:22,324
Cocky. Don't get cocky.
11
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,523
(Telephone ringing in distance)
12
00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:26,460
Okay. Thank you very much.
Good number.
13
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:27,878
(Chuckles)
14
00:00:27,929 --> 00:00:30,230
(Gasps) Oh, my gosh!
15
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:32,032
- Hey!
- What are you guys doing here?
16
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,367
Antiquing.
17
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:34,551
Well, Dalia's getting
her driver's license,
18
00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:36,970
or so we hope.
Third time's the charm.
19
00:00:37,005 --> 00:00:38,605
You... oh, she, uh,
she failed twice already?
20
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,875
No, no. God, no.
I'm rounding down from six.
21
00:00:41,905 --> 00:00:45,624
These Chatswin
test administrators are t-u-f-f.
22
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,080
They don't let you hit
anything.
23
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,882
(Woman over P.A.)Tessa Altman, window 25.
24
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:49,883
That's me.
25
00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,518
No, that's me, actually.
26
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,270
Okay, check your mirrors.
Let him see you
27
00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:54,588
check your mirrors.
28
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:55,756
Why are you assuming it's a he?
29
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:58,091
Okay.
Okay, fair enough, but...
30
00:00:58,126 --> 00:00:59,609
(Lowered voice)
That stereotype exists
31
00:00:59,644 --> 00:01:01,394
for a reason,
so you prove them wrong.
32
00:01:01,412 --> 00:01:03,130
Ow!
33
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,599
(Whispers) Prove them wrong.
34
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,535
(Normal voice)
Okay. Here. Uh, oh!
35
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,737
Whoo! Sorry.
36
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,423
Whoo. Sorry.
37
00:01:13,458 --> 00:01:15,792
Okay. (Sighs)
38
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,677
It was fun teaching her
to drive, you know?
39
00:01:17,695 --> 00:01:19,246
Oh, my gosh, yes.
40
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,031
I'm quite sure
Carmen feels the same way
41
00:01:21,065 --> 00:01:22,632
about teaching Dalia.
42
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,768
Although Carmen really
shouldn't be driving...
43
00:01:24,819 --> 00:01:26,720
(Whispers) For so many reasons.
44
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,222
Dalia Royce, window 8.
45
00:01:34,896 --> 00:01:37,197
I think that's me.
46
00:01:37,199 --> 00:01:39,249
Yeah. Yep, it is.
47
00:01:39,283 --> 00:01:40,784
All right.
Go get 'em, darlin'!
48
00:01:40,835 --> 00:01:41,752
Yes!
49
00:01:41,803 --> 00:01:44,388
Drive or die trying!
50
00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:46,556
Maybe that's bad advice.
51
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:52,979
After acing my road test,i decided to fake George out,
52
00:01:53,014 --> 00:01:55,048
like those "Idol" contestants
53
00:01:55,083 --> 00:01:57,050
who hide the yellow pieceof paper behind their backs,
54
00:01:57,085 --> 00:02:00,019
even though we totally knowthey're going to Hollywood.
55
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,988
You're going to Hollywood!
56
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:02,989
Whoo!
57
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:04,624
(Laughs) Oh, yes!
58
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:05,792
He said I was perfect...
59
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,177
Mm!
My parallel parking...
60
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,228
Mm!
61
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,796
My 3-point turn,
62
00:02:09,814 --> 00:02:12,199
and my choice in radio station.
63
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,366
Unh!
64
00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:14,835
College indie?
65
00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:16,470
Smooth jazz. He was old,
66
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:17,904
so I played to the crowd.
(Chuckles)
67
00:02:17,939 --> 00:02:18,855
Very smart.
68
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,874
Mm! How'd Dalia do?
69
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:23,210
Oh. (Man) You're gonna be all right.
Try to keep your head...
70
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,545
As expected.
71
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,813
I'm telling you,
she didn't use the mirrors.
72
00:02:26,848 --> 00:02:29,416
Not even a blinker.
I'm okay.
73
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,368
Sync and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com
74
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:36,206
(Alih Jay) ♪ last night I had
a pleasant nightmare ♪
75
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,426
♪ da-da-da-da,
da, da, da, da ♪
76
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,545
No highways, no cell phones,
77
00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,062
and you're not allowed
to go over 50.
78
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,498
And you're not allowed to act
over 50. Give me the keys.
79
00:02:45,516 --> 00:02:48,134
I'll call you when I want
to be picked up, okay?
80
00:02:48,186 --> 00:02:49,536
Are you sure you want me
to leave you here?
81
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,471
You've been here for, like,
five days in a row.
82
00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:54,474
I can take you to a library
or something.
83
00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:56,443
They have a library.
(Chuckles)
84
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:58,244
I figured since Noah
gave me his guest pass,
85
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,046
I might as well take
advantage of it.
86
00:03:00,081 --> 00:03:03,750
Oh, George was definitelytaking advantage of it.
87
00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,802
(Man) Hey, George.
88
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:29,609
Whew! Nothing...
Nothing takes it off you
89
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:32,746
like a good steam,
right, Marty?
90
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,782
Marty?
91
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:36,816
I'm alive.
92
00:03:36,851 --> 00:03:37,951
Oh.
93
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,788
Mr. Altman? I'm sorry.
94
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,456
This is a little awkward.
(Chuckles)
95
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:45,125
Oh, it's fine.
I'm wearing underwear.
96
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:48,195
I'm sorry to inform you,
your guest pass has expired.
97
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,796
Oh, well, okay.
That's no problem.
98
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,631
Can I just have Noah renew it?
99
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:53,867
"Can I just have Noah
renew it?"
100
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,870
Uh, no, you cannot.
Guesses are nonrenewable,
101
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,505
so I'm afraid
this is good-bye.
102
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,640
Can I just finish my steam?
103
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:01,758
I couldn't just finish
my steam?
104
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,176
Brutal, buddy.
105
00:04:03,211 --> 00:04:04,427
Mind taking a step back?
106
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,012
You're dripping all over
my gorditas. (Chuckles)
107
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,430
So isn't there something
you can do?
108
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,083
Well, the guest membership thing
was always temporary.
109
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,484
It had to end sometime,
110
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,220
and frankly, I'm surprised
they let it go on this long.
111
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,738
Hey, why don't you join
the club, George?
112
00:04:14,772 --> 00:04:17,073
Fred, why don't you have
another Arnold Palmer
113
00:04:17,108 --> 00:04:18,558
and enjoy your own business?
114
00:04:18,576 --> 00:04:19,859
Oh, don't mind if I do.
115
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,194
Maybe I should just join.
116
00:04:21,229 --> 00:04:22,762
H-half the business I've done
since I moved here
117
00:04:22,797 --> 00:04:24,897
came from contacts
I made in this place.
118
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,065
Membership practically pay
for itself.
119
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:28,451
Well, I don't know
about that, Fred.
120
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,204
So what do you think, Noah?
Will you sponsor me?
121
00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,174
Yes, will you?
122
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,576
Now don't be crazy.
(Laughing)
123
00:04:36,594 --> 00:04:37,877
So that's a "yes"?
124
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,913
Is it? I don't...
125
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,414
(Noah and Fred laugh)
126
00:04:41,432 --> 00:04:43,717
George, it goes against all
of my be instincts
127
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,553
to tell you this,
but management says
128
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,972
you can't be in here
without clothes on.
129
00:04:49,006 --> 00:04:51,091
All right. I'm... I'm going.
130
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:55,028
Yeah, not with that robe,
you're not. Sorry. Club rules.
131
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,896
(Chuckles)
132
00:04:56,931 --> 00:04:58,315
Suddenly, I was at the topof the food chain.
133
00:04:58,349 --> 00:04:59,899
I was a driver.
134
00:04:59,934 --> 00:05:02,102
Heard you passed
your driver's test.
135
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,688
Heard you didn't.
136
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:07,624
Did you get whiplash watching me
surpass you in every way?
137
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:11,344
Yeah, and also when I ran
into the dog grooming truck.
138
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,179
(Kenzie and Kaitlyn)
Ask her about the ride
139
00:05:13,197 --> 00:05:14,581
before the late bell rings.
140
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,683
Are you guys identical?
141
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:20,320
Almost. Her eyes are more cat,
and mine are more almond.
142
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:24,391
She hates onions and olives,
and I only hate onions...
143
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,892
And olives.
144
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,360
That makes sense.
145
00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:30,030
Tessa, I'd like to commission
your services.
146
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:31,698
I don't offer any services.
147
00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:32,666
You drive.
148
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,468
Yeah, but I don't drive you.
149
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,736
She' pay you 20 bucks.
150
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:38,438
(Scoffs) 20 bucks.
151
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,507
Fine. I'll double it.
152
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:42,876
50 bucks.
153
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,260
Check your math.
154
00:05:44,312 --> 00:05:48,765
Check your attitude, hooker.
Will you drive me or not?
155
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,786
70 bucks, okay? (Sighs)
It's important.
156
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,854
I'd never seen Daliaso desperate.
157
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:58,258
Maybe she needed a rideto rehab or to the ob-gyn.
158
00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:00,960
Either way, she was clearlyreaching out for help,
159
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,962
so I did the only thingi could do.
160
00:06:02,997 --> 00:06:05,198
Make it $100, and you buy gas.
161
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,904
Can you break $1,000?
162
00:06:13,341 --> 00:06:15,208
Is that grover Cleveland?
163
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:18,611
(Bell rings)
164
00:06:19,476 --> 00:06:20,752
Can't you go any faster?
165
00:06:20,791 --> 00:06:22,992
- Not in a school zone.
- What if he leaves?
166
00:06:23,031 --> 00:06:24,893
I'm sure he won't leave.
What time is your appointment?
167
00:06:24,932 --> 00:06:26,585
I don't have an appointment.
168
00:06:26,651 --> 00:06:28,635
We're going to see
Scott Strauss.
169
00:06:28,703 --> 00:06:30,570
- Who's Scott Strauss?
- Oh, my God.
170
00:06:30,605 --> 00:06:32,289
That's the dumbest question
I've ever heard.
171
00:06:32,323 --> 00:06:33,740
"Who's Scott Strauss?"
172
00:06:33,774 --> 00:06:35,175
Scott Strauss graduated
last year,
173
00:06:35,209 --> 00:06:37,093
and he's, like, the hottest guy
to walk the face of the Earth,
174
00:06:37,128 --> 00:06:40,063
including Jesus, our pool guy,
who's also superhot.
175
00:06:40,097 --> 00:06:41,414
Pass this man. Pass him!
176
00:06:41,449 --> 00:06:43,083
It's a solid yellow line.
177
00:06:43,117 --> 00:06:44,784
Like anyone knows what that is.
178
00:06:44,802 --> 00:06:46,653
You're not even
a good backseat driver.
179
00:06:46,687 --> 00:06:48,405
Oh, my God.
My mom would kill me
180
00:06:48,456 --> 00:06:50,040
if she knew was back
on Scott Strauss.
181
00:06:50,074 --> 00:06:51,491
She paid me
a thousand ancient dollars
182
00:06:51,526 --> 00:06:53,026
not to jock him.
183
00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:54,594
And yet you continue to jock.
184
00:06:54,629 --> 00:06:57,214
A lot has happened
since I made that promise.
185
00:06:57,298 --> 00:06:58,331
Scott broke up with Brianna,
186
00:06:58,365 --> 00:07:00,366
and she went on a teen tour
and got chlamydia.
187
00:07:00,384 --> 00:07:03,453
Oh, my God! That's it.
That's Scott's house.
188
00:07:03,488 --> 00:07:04,604
Do you want me to stop?
189
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:05,922
No, you loser. Keep going.
190
00:07:05,973 --> 00:07:08,341
Circle the block.
Circle the block!
191
00:07:08,359 --> 00:07:11,711
(Sighs) I hate this job.
192
00:07:11,745 --> 00:07:13,346
(Knock on door)
(Jazz music playing)
193
00:07:13,381 --> 00:07:14,814
Noah? Hey, man.
194
00:07:14,849 --> 00:07:17,217
George?
You shouldn't be in here.
195
00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:18,351
Oh.
196
00:07:18,386 --> 00:07:19,486
Uh, less it's okay
with the patient.
197
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,854
(Mouth full, mumbles)
198
00:07:20,888 --> 00:07:23,289
She says it's okay.
What's up?
199
00:07:23,307 --> 00:07:24,624
(Door closes) So...
(Sighs) What's going on with my application?
200
00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:26,593
I called the club.
They haven't heard from you yet.
201
00:07:26,627 --> 00:07:29,196
They haven't? That's crazy.
202
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:30,197
So you called?
203
00:07:30,231 --> 00:07:31,231
- No.
- So what's the deal?
204
00:07:31,265 --> 00:07:32,532
Do you not want me to join
the club?
205
00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:34,434
Because I'm... I'm getting
a weird vibe from you.
206
00:07:34,468 --> 00:07:36,670
Vibe? What vibe?
There is no vibe.
207
00:07:36,704 --> 00:07:39,005
Really? Because last week
in the locker room,
208
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:41,775
I borrowed your shampoo,
and you shot me this dirty look.
209
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:44,878
What? Get outta here.
There is no dirty look.
210
00:07:44,912 --> 00:07:48,164
This face can't make
a dirty look. See?
211
00:07:48,216 --> 00:07:49,482
That's as dirty as it gets.
212
00:07:49,517 --> 00:07:51,551
(Chuckles) So you're okay
with me joining?
213
00:07:51,569 --> 00:07:53,453
Of course,
although you should know,
214
00:07:53,487 --> 00:07:55,255
they're gonna make you jump
through some hoops.
215
00:07:55,289 --> 00:07:56,690
Okay. How many hoops?
216
00:07:56,724 --> 00:08:00,293
Mm. There's the application, uh,
the new member interview.
217
00:08:00,327 --> 00:08:02,295
They're gonna make you wear
a suit for that.
218
00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:03,330
So two hoops.
219
00:08:04,498 --> 00:08:08,167
Oh, she's right.
There's also an essay.
220
00:08:08,219 --> 00:08:09,769
Why are we doing
this again, Dalia?
221
00:08:09,804 --> 00:08:11,404
We're running...
222
00:08:11,439 --> 00:08:13,773
Actually we're fine on gas.
It's a Prius.
223
00:08:13,807 --> 00:08:15,608
Every day, we're circling.
224
00:08:15,626 --> 00:08:18,745
We're circling and circling
and circling until we see him,
225
00:08:18,779 --> 00:08:19,846
or you're fired.
226
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,514
Fine. I'm fired.
227
00:08:21,548 --> 00:08:23,099
This isn't how I want
to spend my life anyway.
228
00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:26,870
I'm tired and dizzy,
and... I have driver's itch.
229
00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:27,921
(Gasps) Look out!
230
00:08:27,955 --> 00:08:29,589
(Tires screech, crash, creaks)
231
00:08:29,624 --> 00:08:31,291
Oh, my God.
(Dog barking in distance)
232
00:08:31,325 --> 00:08:32,459
I hit somebody.
233
00:08:32,493 --> 00:08:34,027
I'm a reckless driver.
234
00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:35,662
I am
a brand-new, reckless driver!
235
00:08:35,696 --> 00:08:39,783
Tessa, you just banged
Scott Strauss.
236
00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:41,167
♪
237
00:08:41,202 --> 00:08:44,037
♪ da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da,
da-da-da-da-da ♪
238
00:08:44,071 --> 00:08:45,622
♪ hey, you ♪ hey, you
239
00:08:45,656 --> 00:08:47,807
♪ I really wanna know ya
240
00:08:47,842 --> 00:08:50,477
♪ da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da,
da-da-da-da-da ♪
241
00:08:50,511 --> 00:08:52,279
♪ yeah, you ♪ yeah, you
242
00:08:52,313 --> 00:08:54,147
♪ I really wanna know ya
243
00:08:58,853 --> 00:09:00,754
(pants) Okay. Stay calm.
244
00:09:00,821 --> 00:09:04,557
Pull over to a safe area.
Exchange insurance information.
245
00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:06,660
Do not assume responsibility.
246
00:09:06,694 --> 00:09:08,128
And ask him out for me.
247
00:09:08,162 --> 00:09:10,063
Dalia, I have
other problems right now.
248
00:09:10,097 --> 00:09:13,300
You're gonna he
a long, blonde problem
249
00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:15,535
if you don't ask out
Scott Strauss.
250
00:09:16,921 --> 00:09:17,904
50 more bucks.
251
00:09:17,922 --> 00:09:21,574
♪ I really wanna know ya
252
00:09:21,609 --> 00:09:23,493
(car door closes)
253
00:09:23,527 --> 00:09:25,111
- Hey, are you okay?
- Before you say anything,
254
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:26,079
I just want you to know
I'm not assuming
255
00:09:26,113 --> 00:09:28,148
any responsibility.
256
00:09:28,182 --> 00:09:30,350
Don't worry about it.
There's no damage.
257
00:09:30,368 --> 00:09:32,452
Although...
maybe we should exchange'em,
258
00:09:32,486 --> 00:09:34,137
- just to be safe.
- I have your information.
259
00:09:34,171 --> 00:09:36,756
You're Scott Strauss.
You drive an A6.
260
00:09:36,791 --> 00:09:38,758
You used to go out with
this dumb girl named Brianna,
261
00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,176
who went on this teen tour
and got some...
262
00:09:40,211 --> 00:09:42,996
Okay, okay. You already
have my information,
263
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,365
so... maybe you should
give me yours.
264
00:09:45,399 --> 00:09:49,019
I'm Tessa. I recently moved
here from New York.
265
00:09:49,053 --> 00:09:52,455
I like pad thai
and rear-ending people.
266
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,107
(Horn honks)
267
00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:57,944
Sorry. Great gas mileage,
but... sporadic honking.
268
00:09:57,978 --> 00:10:00,096
So... aren't you curious
269
00:10:00,147 --> 00:10:01,715
how I know all that stuff
about you?
270
00:10:01,749 --> 00:10:03,483
I just figured you were
Facebook stalking me.
271
00:10:03,517 --> 00:10:06,586
Me? Stalk you?
272
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:09,422
No. (Chuckles) No, no, no.
273
00:10:09,457 --> 00:10:12,258
Dalia Royce is stalking you...
Your next girlfriend.
274
00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:14,494
What makes you think
Dalia's my next girlfriend?
275
00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:17,864
Judging from what I know
about Brianna, she's your type.
276
00:10:17,898 --> 00:10:19,282
Maybe I have a new type.
277
00:10:19,367 --> 00:10:20,701
You don't.
278
00:10:21,635 --> 00:10:23,336
So should we pick you up
around 8:00?
279
00:10:23,371 --> 00:10:24,337
"We"?
280
00:10:24,372 --> 00:10:26,239
I'm Dalia's driver.
281
00:10:28,971 --> 00:10:30,688
Whew.
282
00:10:30,723 --> 00:10:33,291
I'm not doing underwear.
That's fine, right?
283
00:10:34,326 --> 00:10:35,410
(Sighs)
284
00:10:35,444 --> 00:10:36,861
Close the door.
285
00:10:36,895 --> 00:10:38,763
Marty, I was in the process
of closing it
286
00:10:38,798 --> 00:10:40,198
as you're telling me
to close it.
287
00:10:40,232 --> 00:10:41,733
(Door closes) If you had
waited even a half a second,
288
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,334
the door would have already
been closed.
289
00:10:43,369 --> 00:10:46,037
See? There. Look.
It's closed, Marty.
290
00:10:46,071 --> 00:10:47,572
Everything okay, George?
291
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,191
Not really, dude.
I'm jumping through hoops.
292
00:10:50,242 --> 00:10:52,193
I bought the suit.
I wrote the essay.
293
00:10:52,228 --> 00:10:53,711
(Sighs) Then the office tells
me you haven't even bothered
294
00:10:53,746 --> 00:10:55,747
to fill out the sponsor section.
295
00:10:55,815 --> 00:10:58,116
I walk in here.
I find you with Marty.
296
00:10:58,150 --> 00:10:59,450
What's the deal?
297
00:10:59,468 --> 00:11:02,220
Hey, is this a, uh,
privates party? (Chuckles)
298
00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:05,957
(Laughs) Look, George,
uh, why don't you go
299
00:11:05,991 --> 00:11:08,026
take a cold plunge
and calm down? (Chuckles)
300
00:11:08,060 --> 00:11:10,061
Well, because I'm not allowed
in the cold plunge, Noah,
301
00:11:10,095 --> 00:11:11,362
and I think you know that.
302
00:11:11,397 --> 00:11:12,497
Well, you're not allowed
in here, either,
303
00:11:12,531 --> 00:11:13,965
but that didn't seem
to stop you.
304
00:11:13,999 --> 00:11:15,266
If you didn't want
to sponsor me,
305
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:17,068
why didn't you just say so?
I would have asked Fred.
306
00:11:17,102 --> 00:11:19,838
Fred, w-would have been happy
to sponsor me. Right, Fred?
307
00:11:19,872 --> 00:11:22,240
Well, I'd have to ask Sheila,
but I suppose so.
308
00:11:22,274 --> 00:11:25,727
And if you're worried about
your precious shampoo, don't be.
309
00:11:25,761 --> 00:11:27,278
I won't borrow it again.
310
00:11:27,313 --> 00:11:29,864
To be 100% honest,
it robbed my hair of body
311
00:11:29,899 --> 00:11:31,549
and stripped it of shine.
312
00:11:31,584 --> 00:11:33,067
It's not about
the shampoo, George.
313
00:11:33,102 --> 00:11:34,536
Oh. (Chuckles) Okay.
Marty, you heard that?
314
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,087
Yeah. Yeah.
It's not about the shampoo,
315
00:11:36,121 --> 00:11:37,522
but it is about something.
316
00:11:37,556 --> 00:11:38,656
He admitted it.
He doesn't want me here.
317
00:11:38,691 --> 00:11:40,892
Look, this is why.
You're looking at Marty.
318
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:43,077
I introduced you to Marty.
I own Marty!
319
00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:44,062
This is my Marty!
320
00:11:44,096 --> 00:11:45,497
- Hmm.
- Sit down, Marty!
321
00:11:45,531 --> 00:11:46,498
Okay, I get it.
322
00:11:46,532 --> 00:11:47,782
So you want me in your club,
323
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,117
but you don't want me
in your club.
324
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:51,603
I'm starting to think
I don't want you in either,
325
00:11:51,637 --> 00:11:54,255
so why don't you do us
all a favor, g-bag?
326
00:11:54,306 --> 00:11:58,276
Grab your dopp kit and go dig
your car out of self-parking!
327
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:01,980
You are a pompous baby!
328
00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:03,431
You say that again...
329
00:12:03,482 --> 00:12:04,782
Pompous baby!
330
00:12:04,817 --> 00:12:05,850
- That's it. (Grunts)
- No!
331
00:12:05,868 --> 00:12:07,035
No!
332
00:12:07,086 --> 00:12:08,703
(Both grunting)
333
00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:10,605
Aah!
334
00:12:10,639 --> 00:12:14,759
(Yelling)
335
00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:15,960
I got you now.
336
00:12:15,995 --> 00:12:18,996
Aah! Get off me!
337
00:12:19,014 --> 00:12:20,614
♪
338
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:26,537
(Floor squeaks) Aah.
339
00:12:26,555 --> 00:12:27,755
Dr. Werner, your face!
340
00:12:27,806 --> 00:12:29,807
Noah, relax...
(Grunts)
341
00:12:29,841 --> 00:12:30,775
Hey!
Hey, get off me, you goon!
342
00:12:30,809 --> 00:12:34,412
(All grunting and groaning)
343
00:12:34,446 --> 00:12:37,748
Aah! (Grunts) Ohh.
344
00:12:37,766 --> 00:12:38,749
(Grunts)
345
00:12:38,767 --> 00:12:40,017
Ohh!
346
00:12:40,035 --> 00:12:41,386
(Snaps) Ow!
347
00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:43,120
Uh, I've got a 2:00 tee-off,
348
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,807
so I'm just gonna
head on out of here.
349
00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:48,710
So Scott said that he would
go out with Dalia?
350
00:12:48,744 --> 00:12:49,694
Mm-hmm.
351
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,029
(Mouth full) That's weird.
352
00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:53,231
Why? From I hear,
he's exactly like her.
353
00:12:53,265 --> 00:12:54,532
He is nothing like her.
354
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:57,869
He just spent the last year
volunteering in Zambia.
355
00:12:57,903 --> 00:12:59,404
He has global awareness.
356
00:12:59,438 --> 00:13:00,638
- Really?
- Yeah.
357
00:13:00,673 --> 00:13:01,706
After he broke up with Brianna,
358
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:02,974
Scott deferred carnegie mellon
359
00:13:03,008 --> 00:13:05,143
to help
sick, impoverished orphans.
360
00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:07,011
He cooked meals,
helped build wells.
361
00:13:07,046 --> 00:13:08,446
He mounted a Zambian production
of "Pippin,"
362
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,248
which I'm told
was very well-received.
363
00:13:10,282 --> 00:13:13,184
(Chuckles)
This guy sounds amazing.
364
00:13:13,218 --> 00:13:15,670
Why would he go out with Dalia?
It's such a waste.
365
00:13:15,704 --> 00:13:18,122
He also helped clean up waste...
366
00:13:18,157 --> 00:13:20,158
Another big problem
in that country.
367
00:13:20,192 --> 00:13:21,926
(Cell phone rings)
368
00:13:21,961 --> 00:13:22,877
(Ring)
369
00:13:22,912 --> 00:13:24,495
Hello?
370
00:13:25,965 --> 00:13:27,332
Oh, hey, Dalia.
371
00:13:27,366 --> 00:13:29,567
I was so busy hearing storiesabout Scott Strauss,
372
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,219
i forgot I had to pick upScott Strauss,
373
00:13:31,253 --> 00:13:32,704
and since George tookthe Prius,
374
00:13:32,738 --> 00:13:34,789
we had to resort to plan "B"...
375
00:13:35,891 --> 00:13:37,675
As in Bentley.
376
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:40,077
All I could think aboutas I ran my hands
377
00:13:40,095 --> 00:13:41,946
across the Italian leathersteering wheel
378
00:13:41,981 --> 00:13:44,782
was not how many childrenin Zambia this could feed,
379
00:13:44,817 --> 00:13:46,217
but how long would it bebefore I could afford
380
00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:47,852
a whip like this for myself?
381
00:13:47,886 --> 00:13:51,990
Zambia... is that, like,
antidepressant?
382
00:13:52,024 --> 00:13:54,525
Is that the one
that gives you diarrhea?
383
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:57,295
No, it's not.
384
00:13:57,329 --> 00:13:59,864
We're here.
385
00:13:59,898 --> 00:14:01,466
(Seat belt buckle clicks)
386
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:04,268
(Indistinct conversations)
387
00:14:06,305 --> 00:14:07,805
Look... (Sighs)
388
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,674
It was really cool what you did,
setting me up with Scott,
389
00:14:09,708 --> 00:14:11,943
so I just wanted to say...
390
00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:16,881
"Thanks"?
391
00:14:16,915 --> 00:14:18,349
You're welcome,
392
00:14:18,384 --> 00:14:21,119
and so am I. (Chuckles)
393
00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,454
It was the first timei had seen Dalia smile.
394
00:14:23,472 --> 00:14:27,291
She looked so... human.
395
00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:30,828
I guess in some strange way,i was happy that she was happy.
396
00:14:33,632 --> 00:14:36,184
Forgot my wallet.
397
00:14:36,218 --> 00:14:39,537
Oh, and I assume you know
that the only reason I went
398
00:14:39,571 --> 00:14:40,672
on this date with Dalia
was so that I could spend
399
00:14:40,706 --> 00:14:42,707
some more time with you.
400
00:14:42,741 --> 00:14:44,308
Tessa, this is huge.
401
00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:45,543
I know.
402
00:14:45,561 --> 00:14:47,245
No. No, you don't.
You don't understand.
403
00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:48,880
Scott Strauss likes you.
404
00:14:48,914 --> 00:14:51,232
I know. I told you that.
405
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,184
(Door opens)
The losers are winning.
406
00:14:53,218 --> 00:14:54,819
(Singsongy) There's my girl.
407
00:14:54,837 --> 00:14:56,304
(Door closes)
408
00:14:56,338 --> 00:14:57,271
Where's your girl?
409
00:14:57,306 --> 00:14:59,157
There. You.
410
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:00,692
So, what?
411
00:15:00,726 --> 00:15:04,095
Like, you guys are, like,
friends now?
412
00:15:04,163 --> 00:15:06,497
(Mouths word)
413
00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:08,032
As Dalia tried to welcome me
414
00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:10,218
into a club I hadno intention of joining,
415
00:15:10,252 --> 00:15:11,436
George was findingthat his club
416
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,137
didn't want him as a member.
417
00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:15,206
Wee so sorry to deny
your application.
418
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:18,276
Deny my application?
Did you read my essay?
419
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:19,811
We did...
420
00:15:19,845 --> 00:15:22,046
(Men clear throats)
421
00:15:22,081 --> 00:15:23,414
But there was a ding.
422
00:15:23,449 --> 00:15:25,283
- A ding?
- Somebody dinged you,
423
00:15:25,317 --> 00:15:29,353
and once you've been dinged,
I'm afraid you can't be un-dung.
424
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:30,405
Dang.
425
00:15:30,439 --> 00:15:32,323
I... (Sighs) Who dinged me?
426
00:15:32,341 --> 00:15:33,758
Y-you know what?
Don't even tell me.
427
00:15:33,792 --> 00:15:35,293
It was... it was Noah Werner,
wasn't it?
428
00:15:35,327 --> 00:15:38,329
I'm sorry, Mr. Altman.
All dings are anonymous,
429
00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:40,598
and that is, of course,
to encourage dinging.
430
00:15:40,632 --> 00:15:42,633
(Chuckles)
431
00:15:42,668 --> 00:15:44,435
Your application is denied.
432
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:47,438
Well, George... (Sighs)
We gave it our best shot.
433
00:15:47,473 --> 00:15:50,875
So close, too. You're going
to have to leave the club now.
434
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:52,910
(Clears throat)
435
00:15:52,945 --> 00:15:55,279
I've always wanted
to visit Africa.
436
00:15:55,314 --> 00:15:58,015
Was the scenery so beautiful you
couldn't even catch your breath?
437
00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:01,052
Actually, it was kinda
like Chatswin,
438
00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:04,122
but with more elephants.
439
00:16:04,156 --> 00:16:05,623
And less cougars?
440
00:16:05,657 --> 00:16:06,858
I don't know.
441
00:16:06,892 --> 00:16:10,261
Some of those older zulu women
were... pretty hot.
442
00:16:10,295 --> 00:16:11,262
(Laughs)
443
00:16:11,296 --> 00:16:12,964
(Laughs)
444
00:16:12,998 --> 00:16:15,800
Honestly,
everything was so vivid.
445
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:17,969
Like, you look up,
446
00:16:18,003 --> 00:16:20,304
and there's a totally different
moon in the sky.
447
00:16:20,339 --> 00:16:22,306
I wanted to say,"we shouldn't do this."
448
00:16:22,374 --> 00:16:24,208
I wanted to say,"I know Dalia likes you,
449
00:16:24,243 --> 00:16:25,877
"and even if she and Iaren't friends,
450
00:16:25,911 --> 00:16:29,380
it's still wrong,"but all I actually said was...
451
00:16:29,414 --> 00:16:30,681
Wow.
452
00:16:33,212 --> 00:16:34,957
Congratulations.
453
00:16:34,975 --> 00:16:36,258
What's this?
454
00:16:36,293 --> 00:16:38,561
What's it look like?
It's a membership card.
455
00:16:38,595 --> 00:16:39,562
I got you in.
456
00:16:39,629 --> 00:16:41,463
I thought
I couldn't be un-dung.
457
00:16:41,498 --> 00:16:42,584
Un-dung?
458
00:16:42,610 --> 00:16:44,894
- You dinged me.
- I didn't ding you.
459
00:16:45,502 --> 00:16:47,770
Although I did give you
a shiner, didn't I?
460
00:16:47,804 --> 00:16:50,358
Hey, don't... don't kid yourself.
That was from Marty.
461
00:16:50,874 --> 00:16:52,341
So why the sudden change
of heart?
462
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:54,210
I thought you didn't want me
in your club.
463
00:16:54,244 --> 00:16:56,645
What can I say?
I'm a child, all right?
464
00:16:56,663 --> 00:16:58,647
I gave you a toy to play with
465
00:16:58,665 --> 00:17:01,984
and then got upset
when you were playing with it.
466
00:17:02,002 --> 00:17:04,170
I'm a flawed person, George.
I am.
467
00:17:04,204 --> 00:17:07,223
I want to change. I do.
468
00:17:07,257 --> 00:17:09,675
(Whispers)
But I'm never going to...
469
00:17:09,709 --> 00:17:11,227
(Normal voice)
So I got you in the club.
470
00:17:11,261 --> 00:17:12,711
I haven't fought like that
since I was a kid
471
00:17:12,762 --> 00:17:14,380
with my brother,
472
00:17:14,431 --> 00:17:16,799
which made me realize,
you're like family, George.
473
00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:21,003
Well, thanks, Noah,
474
00:17:21,021 --> 00:17:22,137
but...
(Cup clatters)
475
00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:24,673
To be honest,
getting dinged was probably
476
00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:25,841
the best thing
that could have happened.
477
00:17:25,859 --> 00:17:27,443
I can't afford the dues
to that place.
478
00:17:27,477 --> 00:17:29,511
I can't even afford
your shampoo.
479
00:17:29,546 --> 00:17:31,480
You don't have to pay dues.
480
00:17:31,514 --> 00:17:34,416
Like I said, you're family,
481
00:17:34,451 --> 00:17:36,702
so I added you
to my family plan.
482
00:17:36,736 --> 00:17:38,821
What? (Laughs)
483
00:17:38,855 --> 00:17:40,239
"George Werner"?
484
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:42,024
What, you added me
as your brother?
485
00:17:42,058 --> 00:17:43,792
Actually, I added you
as my son,
486
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:46,395
so please
watch your tone with me.
487
00:17:46,429 --> 00:17:48,864
So we're country club people
now, huh?
488
00:17:48,882 --> 00:17:50,099
(Chuckles)
489
00:17:50,133 --> 00:17:51,967
Shouldn't we have people
folding these for us?
490
00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:54,053
I wouldn't call us
"country club people."
491
00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:57,139
You know,
we... we... we bong to a club
492
00:17:57,173 --> 00:17:59,475
that happens to...
493
00:17:59,509 --> 00:18:03,545
Be in... the country.
494
00:18:03,563 --> 00:18:05,213
We're country club people.
495
00:18:05,232 --> 00:18:07,900
Did you ever find out
who dinged you?
496
00:18:07,934 --> 00:18:09,485
No. No,
and it's driving me crazy.
497
00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:11,654
I hate the idea that
there's somebody out there
498
00:18:11,688 --> 00:18:14,023
who has an anonymous problem
with me.
499
00:18:14,057 --> 00:18:15,557
Come right out
and tell me to my face.
500
00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:17,059
Be a man, you know?
501
00:18:17,077 --> 00:18:20,162
Yeah. I did know.
502
00:18:20,196 --> 00:18:23,032
I had to be a man.
503
00:18:28,204 --> 00:18:29,755
Oh, my gosh, Dalia.
504
00:18:29,789 --> 00:18:31,790
Something so, so exciting
just happened.
505
00:18:31,841 --> 00:18:35,678
Your very good friend stopped by
unexpectedly to pay you a visit.
506
00:18:35,712 --> 00:18:36,679
- Kimantha?
- No.
507
00:18:36,713 --> 00:18:38,080
- Kenzie?
- No.
508
00:18:38,114 --> 00:18:39,615
- Kaitlyn?
- No, it's...
509
00:18:39,649 --> 00:18:40,683
- Sue?
- No.
510
00:18:40,717 --> 00:18:42,685
It's me. Tessa.
511
00:18:42,719 --> 00:18:44,019
Oh.
512
00:18:44,054 --> 00:18:45,287
Hey.
513
00:18:45,322 --> 00:18:47,189
Can I get you girls anything
to drink?
514
00:18:47,223 --> 00:18:49,258
I could whip up
some Virgin Marys.
515
00:18:49,292 --> 00:18:51,777
I don't let Dalia have
hard liquor on school nights.
516
00:18:51,811 --> 00:18:53,829
No, thanks, Dallas.
I'm not staying long.
517
00:18:53,863 --> 00:18:55,430
Okay.
518
00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:56,649
I'm just making a collage
519
00:18:56,700 --> 00:19:00,302
of me and Scott Strauss
and Lil Wayne for my locker.
520
00:19:00,337 --> 00:19:02,905
That's kinda what I wanted
to talk to you about.
521
00:19:02,939 --> 00:19:04,773
- Weezy?
- Scott Strauss.
522
00:19:04,808 --> 00:19:08,377
Dalia, Scott likes
someone else,
523
00:19:08,411 --> 00:19:11,513
and I wanted you
to hear it from me,
524
00:19:11,548 --> 00:19:12,781
because it's me.
525
00:19:14,684 --> 00:19:16,318
Yeah, right.
(Scribbling)
526
00:19:16,353 --> 00:19:18,253
I hung out with him yesterday,
527
00:19:18,288 --> 00:19:19,855
but you liked him first,
528
00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:21,957
so I'm not gonna see him
anymore.
529
00:19:21,975 --> 00:19:23,625
You think you're doing me
some sort of favor...
530
00:19:23,643 --> 00:19:24,626
(Pen clatters)
531
00:19:24,661 --> 00:19:26,161
Letting my boyfriend be
my boyfriend?
532
00:19:26,196 --> 00:19:29,498
(Scoffs)
He's not your boyfriend.
533
00:19:29,532 --> 00:19:31,767
He only went out with you
because he likes me.
534
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:34,636
Tessa, you remind me
of Tyler Perry right now.
535
00:19:34,654 --> 00:19:36,672
You're joking,
but you're not funny.
536
00:19:36,706 --> 00:19:38,674
I'm not joking,
537
00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:41,343
although I don't disagree
with you about Tyler Perry.
538
00:19:41,378 --> 00:19:43,028
I don't know even know
why I came here.
539
00:19:43,079 --> 00:19:47,166
Yeah, it was dumb, and let me
spell out just how dumb it was.
540
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,918
"D" is for Dalia.
That's my name,
541
00:19:49,953 --> 00:19:52,988
and "U" is for you,
who snaked Scott Strauss,
542
00:19:53,006 --> 00:19:55,424
and "M" is
for Mrs. Scott Strauss.
543
00:19:55,458 --> 00:19:56,709
That's also my name.
544
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:57,726
You forgot the "B."
545
00:19:57,761 --> 00:20:01,196
No, I didn't, beeyotch.
Game on.
546
00:20:01,231 --> 00:20:03,732
Fine. Game on...
547
00:20:04,634 --> 00:20:05,851
Beeyotch.
548
00:20:09,856 --> 00:20:12,358
(Indistinct conversations)
549
00:20:12,392 --> 00:20:15,310
Hey, Walter, keep your head down
out there, all right?
550
00:20:15,344 --> 00:20:16,344
Ha. Thanks.
(Chuckles)
551
00:20:16,363 --> 00:20:17,646
What does that
even mean, George?
552
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,398
I don't know, but I hear
somebody else say it.
553
00:20:19,449 --> 00:20:22,785
Morning, Mr. Altman.
554
00:20:22,819 --> 00:20:24,620
Hello there, Jocelyn.
How are you?
555
00:20:24,654 --> 00:20:27,456
I hear you're a member now.
Congratulations.
556
00:20:27,490 --> 00:20:28,690
Yes, I am a member,
557
00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:30,159
so I guess we'll be seeing
a lot of each other.
558
00:20:30,193 --> 00:20:31,526
Right here in this dining room
we will be,
559
00:20:31,544 --> 00:20:34,797
but outside of the dining room,
not so much. (Sighs)
560
00:20:34,831 --> 00:20:36,165
Club members
can't date employees.
561
00:20:36,199 --> 00:20:38,133
It's against the rules.
(Inhales deeply)
562
00:20:38,168 --> 00:20:40,702
I'll be right back
with some cream.
563
00:20:43,406 --> 00:20:44,807
Ding.
564
00:20:44,841 --> 00:20:46,241
Ding?
565
00:20:46,276 --> 00:20:49,044
(Glass clinks)
566
00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:50,345
(Whispers) Ding.
567
00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:51,680
Let's face it.
568
00:20:51,714 --> 00:20:53,715
We don't fit in.We don't look like them.
569
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:54,933
We don't act like them,
570
00:20:54,935 --> 00:20:57,152
and we definitely don't playby their rules,
571
00:20:57,187 --> 00:20:59,238
we don't but two things,will always be true...
572
00:20:59,272 --> 00:21:01,657
They poach the hell outof an egg,
573
00:21:01,691 --> 00:21:04,118
and I have my driver's license.
574
00:21:04,691 --> 00:21:10,023
Sync and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com
41743
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