Original subtitles

How's my hair?

Good? Fine.

Solid.

Scores!

First day of high school, Virg. We finally made the big time.

Football games, free periods, the chicks.

Jack, you got a little battle game.

Huh? Spooky fever.

And that was just a test.

Had it been an actual emergency, however... Hey, hey, hi.

Their first high school fight.

My boy's grown up so fast. Where does the time go?

Who cares about our past, guys? All I'm thinking about is my social future.

Well, I don't want anything to change.

Got my two best guys right here, right now. I'm your favorite, though, right?

It's okay, you can admit it. He's man enough to take it.

Still can't believe you talked me into trying out for cheerleading.

You'll be fine.

It's him I'm worried about. He's all in full freak mode about football tryouts.

Don't worry, though, bro. I'll be there for moral support.

You mean to just rap?

Exactly. Virgil, this is serious. You better not embarrass me.

B -Rock, I never try to embarrass you.

It just works out that way.

Be the ball.

Be the ball.

My grandpa taught me that.

I'll see you guys later.

Okay, that's enough for today.

Wait, coach, I can do this. Bro, maybe you ought to rest your arm.

Virgil Fox.

Nice to meet you.

So, what's the story with that rocket cart thing? I always get a hard time on

the bus.

And I hypothesized that a rocket -portioned all -terrain car would help

embarrassment. Uh -huh.

Yeah. And how's that working out for you?

Working great.

My emotion modulator actually allows me to understand what Albert Feline Stein

is trying to communicate with his various meows. Isn't that amazing?

Virgil? Uh, Virgil. Hey, Earth to Virgil.

Virg! Don't you think, Virgil?

Virgil, aren't you excited?

Yes. Charlie, I'm thrilled that you talked to your cat.

Um, I'm not entirely certain, but I believe you may...

Charlie,

what do you want from me? I mean, your inventions always work. I can only act

surprised every time you figure out how to power your house with tartar sauce.

It's cocktail sauce.

You know what would really make me happy?

Is if you build something useful. By useful, I mean something that would make

rich and hot. Or both.

Both. Hey, hey, you can't ride that thing on the... Hey, great bike.

Lots of shiny chrome...

No offense, guys. I do enjoy the stimulating conversation.

Hey, I'm taken.

Seriously, how did it come to this?

Let's see.

Maybe your plight has something to do with being stripped, dressed in

miniskirts, and hung from a school mascot?

And had a picture of me at the cover of the yearbook. Three years in a row. And

was on all the local news stations.

And the Spanish channel.

Yes. The incident I will one day be explaining to a very expensive...

Charlie speak for hello.

Hi. Excuse me, miss.

Why do you call him hummingbird?

Oh, I love birds.

All kinds of birds. You know, big birds, little birds. Oh, I'm even the official

secretary for the local chapter of the Junior Bird Buddies of America.

Such an honor.

Anyways, gotta run.

Oh,

well, that explains it.

Jeanette has been sweating you for two years.

What is your deal?

Forget it.

Pardon me, gents.

Ah, soda.

I hear if you leave a penny in this stuff for a week, it comes out, like,

I was actually planning on drinking it.

Well, I'd remind that.

So, um, how are you, Birch? I mean, I didn't really see you much this morning.

was doing, you know, a lot of mountain climbing, jet skiing.

Video games?

I didn't leave the couch.

You?

Ugh, the usual.

Pool parties, cheerleading camp. But, um...

to take this awesome architecture class.

Oh, that's cool.

I remember you made a gingerbread house, and it had, like, ten rooms.

And walk -in closets. It took us six months to eat it.

Oh, well, I have calculus.

Hate it, need it.

Can't be an architect without it. Yeah, you got public speaking.

Hate it, need it. Can't be a game show host without it.

There's a good reason Tesla's biographer named his book A Man Out of Time. Tesla

was so far advanced over his contemporaries that they often deride...

often deride at him as... Jocelyn, would it be too much to ask that you not

do your nails while I lecture?

Sorry.

When are you done?

Excuse me. Ah, Mr. Tuttle.

I believe you are here for your booster chair.

I'll get it later.

It's an AV club emergency. I need Virgil Fox right away.

Virgil Fox?

No, he's not sick today. I hear he might not make it. Very funny, Mr. Fox. You

can pick up your hall pass on your way out.

I'm moving to Peregrine.

Have you ever really looked at our school mascot?

Forget the stupid hall pass.

Remember that rock -bullshit alter -encarta I had back on the day of the

incident?

Thanks for mentioning that again. You know, it's been almost ten minutes since

someone brought it up.

Listen, it ties together.

That invention may not have been a success, but one element of the design

proven viable.

The quantum accelerator.

You remember when I was on that physics, new reality, many world theory kick?

Oh, yeah.

That was fun.

Well, I started building my own theory based on all that work, incorporating my

proven hypothesis of quantum acceleration.

Then, I put one of the school's computers on permanent reserve.

The DSL's been doing all the work.

And moments ago, I uploaded the last piece of the puzzle.

Commander Taro, on the bridge.

Dude, no way I'm saluting you.

something useful.

Well, time travel is useful.

Charlie, you're 14 years old.

You're two years away from your driver's license.

You still call your underwear underpants.

Yet I'm supposed to believe you can build a time machine?

Yes. And based on my specifications, a person can travel up to 48 hours into

past. That's weak.

Pardon me.

How is your time travel formula coming along?

Tell about light, right? Nothing moves faster.

Well, my hypothesis suggests that you can time travel on a beam of light from

any light source.

Even light from a slide projector.

A slide projector?

Like your regular slide projector?

Did I say regular?

No, I didn't.

What we're talking about is a complex amalgamation of electronic components

good old -fashioned internal combustion mechanics. Which you know nothing about,

by the way.

We'll have to find a hardware guy.

I don't see this as a problem.

Be tickety, but shaken.

You'll have to excuse Charlie. He's nervous around girls.

No, I'm not. Oh, it's cool. I like shy boys.

Uh, what's in the bowl?

Meringue.

The assignments.

Here, take mine. I'll make a new one.

Did you see that?

What? She gave you meringue.

That's huge.

Or are you going to sit on the sidelines and be a passive observer?

Okay, look, I'll make you a deal.

I'll help you with your time machine. I'll even help you find a hardware guy.

But when we try it out for the first time, we're going to use it for whatever

want to do.

All right.

Right.

But Virgil, this hardware person we need, it's tricky.

Why?

Because he not only needs to be gifted mechanically, but also, let's say,

require a certain moral flexibility.

You know, lives on the fringes of society.

Okay. Well, what about him?

Zeke? Are you serious?

Look at him. He's... He's... Perfect.

You know those monster truck shows where they have the big metal dinosaurs that

breed fire and destroy cars?

I've seen the commercials. Yeah. Who does that build those?

Kill him!

It's freaking me out.

No, it's not my cat.

It's his.

His name is Albert Feline Stein.

It's the dumbest name for a cat I've ever heard.

Couldn't agree more. Zeke.

Zeekster.

Yeah, I hate when people bend names to, like, Virgil Austin. I'm like, come on,

people. It's Virgil.

I'm going to stop talking now.

Amy, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is a private meeting.

Sorry, I just came down to watch TV.

But Mom did mention you had a new friend over, a boy.

Ew, he's gross!

Geez, Virgil, why can't you bring home cute boys? Amy, leave now or I'm telling

Mommy to do makeovers on the hamsters again. Chill, I'm out of here. It's like

walked into an ugly contest.

She's a charmer.

Yeah. Okay, this thing...

Right, this quantum integration to the physical properties of light projection.

Looks like it could work.

Yeah, Mongo Reed.

Okay, so your help is constructed.

Why not?

I'm always up for a challenge.

Free bean dip.

Um, have a little.

No, just...

Some beans.

Do that again, and I weld you to the Crosstown bus.

Have you guys thought how we're going to use this thing?

The first journey back to a time will obviously be a monumental event.

Our specific goal on that journey should be appropriately grandiose.

I've got it.

Two words, gentlemen.

The lottery.

Nice. Absolutely non -Virgil. I refuse to agree to that. But you already did.

You said that if I helped you build the time machine, we'd use it for whatever I

want to do.

No do -overs.

You want a time traveler, don't you?

Fine. Hey, you know, you're not going to be able to just plug this thing into a

wall outlet. This is going to take some major amperage.

Not to mention privacy in a lot of space.

I know the place.

It's perfect.

It's completely perfect.

Come on.

Come on.

Vice Principal Tolkien.

We want to talk to you about starting a new club. Who can do? We are completely

maxed out on classroom space.

The future fonduers of America were the last ones in. Is that Chester and the

vending machine?

Hey, fellas.

Do any of you have four quarters?

This thing's not taking my dollar.

Aren't you going to do something? Like what?

Change the way high school works?

No, gentlemen.

Everything in this world has an order.

There are those who stuff others into vending machines and those who get

into vending machines.

It's just the way the system works.

It's actually in the vice principal's handbook.

Anyway, about our club, we were... Room 77. We want room 77.

Impossible. It's never going to happen.

Like this.

Perhaps we can convince you to reconsider.

Done.

All right, scooch over to your left. I'm going after the pretzel nubs.

and he was knocked down to make space for the football field, which we're

underneath now.

Room 77 was actually built into the school's fallout shelter back in the

I think it's right through here.

No one call extreme classroom makeover.

This is a disaster!

Got great bones, though.

Your image overwhelms my brain, and it feels good, good, good.

Now I'm rolling my windows down.

I love the wind, but I hate the sound.

You're like a...

Be the world's first time traveler.

I just ate a meatball sandwich.

My good cramps. Yeah, and, um...

Guys, take a look at the watch.

843!

844!

Your cat is the first time traveler in history.

reading from the Somerton sensor. It's pretty much off the charts, but I got

nothing around it.

Hmm. You think we got anything on that upstairs?

They would have called us already.

Probably just another computer glitch.

You know they give us basement dwellers the lame old equipment.

Plus all the good snacks are upstairs.

I mean, seriously.

Try one of these. They're stale.

Come on, Steph.

I mean, what do I have to do to make you believe me? She's just teaching me

French. Hmm, so Jocelyn Lee is tutoring you in French, and that's all?

Un petit amour, c 'est pas du fromage.

Well, see, that's why I need her help. I have no idea what you just said. I said

my boyfriend is a lying cheese brain.

Come on, Steph.

I mean, Jocelyn's hot, but she's a total bottom -seater.

I would never go there.

I know.

I'll call you later, okay?

Hey, Steph, I didn't see you there. Oh, hey.

Are you studying? Yeah, I was actually looking for a pencil sharpener. Oh, I

have one.

Do you have a pencil?

Single verge, never changes.

You haven't changed much either.

Does your hair still frizz up when you run through the sprinklers? Oh, totally.

This morning before school, I set up the wiggly worm in the salon. I love the

wiggly worm.

Remember that time I almost drowned?

Because Derek shoved the nozzle up your neck? Yeah, as he tried to run away, and

he cracked his head on the cell phone pole.

Tres amigos.

Yeah.

You know, Derek really did try to stop those football players, but you know how

seniors are.

Anyway, I know he feels really bad about what happened that day.

You know, they say that people who don't let go of the past die faster and get

more acne.

I'm sweating like five hogs.

Because it's bearing irregularities in temperature, I thought we should be

prepared. Okay, got the winning lottery numbers right here. Okay, in order to

guarantee that the vortex maintains stability long enough for us to return

safely, we're only going to have ten minutes on the other side.

Otherwise, we run the risk of exploding.

That's funny, I thought you said exploding.

I did.

Activating grid.

Um, what's with the grappling hook?

You making fun of the hook?

What? No.

No, no, no. Of the hook.

Next stop, funky town.

Yeah.

We got to work on our landings.

It's 127 yesterday.

We did it. Oh, yes, we did it. We're time travelers.

We're time travelers.

We're time travelers.

We're time travelers. We're time travelers.

Is he okay?

He really loves science.

One lottery ticket, please.

These are the numbers.

Feeling lucky.

Uh -huh.

Are you feeling like you have ID?

You need to be 18 to buy a lottery ticket.

Hi. We need to ask you a favor.

I want the tip. Oh.

Yes, okay.

Okay. We need you to buy us a lottery ticket with these numbers.

What do you say?

That's all I got.

Okay.

You guys, you guys, we have two minutes to get back to school.

New plan.

We'll meet you here tomorrow at 12.

Hang on to the ticket till then.

Okay?

Okay.

That's the second fluctuation of the exact same magnitude in the exact same

location.

I'm telling you, it's a technical glitch.

What else could it be?

You think they all of a sudden started drilling for oil in Somerton?

Now let's just get back to work, all right?

Can you help me unknot this?

lottery announced last night has turned out to be none other than Robot Man.

Told you.

Okay, so tomorrow we go back in time and get a new lottery ticket. But this

time, we'll be sure... No, Virgil. It's wrong.

It's cheating.

Right. It is cheating.

Okay, new plan. We go on TV with the machine, do an infomercial, sell like 8

,000 of them, and instantly become rich and humongously popular.

And they say you can't buy happiness.

Listen to me. If anyone finds out about this time machine, it'll give the end of

me, you, and Zeke.

The end!

Can you back up? I have personal space issues.

used for the machine.

What's more important than being rich and popular?

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

Mostly.

Hey,

Chester.

Looking for these?

new look, Chester, let me be the first to say it's not working.

Those kids stole my clothes.

Can you help me get them back?

I'd like to. Really, I would, but that would mean altering the delicate social

system here at the school. So, good luck.

Virgil, I just had a brilliant idea.

You need to use the time machine.

Exactly.

Again, Scorch, did you even read the instructions I emailed you?

I'm sorry.

Okay, so let me get this straight. You're saying we've become like silent

to the uncool?

Look around.

We live in a world where mere minutes can make or break a person's entire

future. Take what happened to me freshman year. Had I known that sticking

Charlie would have ruined my life, I never would have done it.

Tell us how you really feel. Think about all the kids at this school.

Like Chester.

Like us.

We all live in constant fear of humiliation because we happen to be

less coordinated, whatever.

We can change that.

The Minutemen must use their powers for truth and justice.

And then we focus on getting rich.

Again, I'm kidding.

Who are the Minutemen?

We. Us.

The all -important minutes in time.

Clever, right?

Sort of.

Not really.

Forget it.

None of these remote control hookups are going to work.

This is no good.

We have to be able to make a judgment so we're back in time.

Well, I guess one of us is just going to have to hang back.

Not it! Not it! Not it!

Okay. Redo.

Not it! Not it! Not it!

Double dang it!

Not it!

That was fun.

Not it!

Uh, Jeanette, what are you doing here? I was just looking for a club to join,

and I saw yours on Vice Principal's List. The Back to the Future fan club.

right. I love that movie.

Even though I never really saw it.

But I totally love the whole idea of time travel. I mean, it's just so

fiction -y.

Julie, Jeanette, your timing is interesting.

What is it, Virgil? What are you doing?

Uh, excuse us.

No,

no, no, no, no, no, no.

what you do, right?

Sure thing, Puffin.

Um, but first... We so have to do something

about those outfits.

There you go.

That's better.

Where did you get these? My dad just bought Ski World.

How lucky is that? I mean, had he still owned the shrimp and waffle hut, that

would be, like, no help at all.

the form -fitting that would highlight these massive guns.

Bro, you're built like a chihuahua. You look like a yeti in that thing. You

probably think I don't know what a yeti is. Do you?

Virgil, grow up. Me grow up? Why don't you grow up? Hey, don't yell at Charlie.

I'm not yelling. Stop yelling. I never yell at people.

I never thought time travel would involve so much bickering.

right there, friend.

Uh, if you guys are going to pick on me, you'll have to take a number.

Don't be afraid. We're here to help.

Oh, what's going on, fellas?

Oh, you can keep those.

I got myself some new threads.

Who are those snowsuit guys?

After 20 years of service, the board gives you either a gold watch or one of

these. My sweet little cat.

Don't touch it. It's going in my office in a bulletproof glass case.

Delegate.

Well, we won all right.

We won big.

Nurse Ratchet and Coach Bob have seen it before, and they assure me that it is

not contagious.

One more thing before we wrap up this morning's announcements. Recently, a

of students dressed in snowsuits disrupted a gym class.

More importantly, they destroyed my precious diorama.

Whoever you students are, let me make it perfectly clear that once you are

identified, you will be severely punished.

I'm the run from Johnny Law.

Naughty Ned.

That's what my mom calls me when I forget to floss.

Perfect.

Except I think that's a dangling participle.

I hate it when those things dangle.

Pick it up in five minutes.

Okay?

I'm totally tired and need to sit down.

You think maybe you could just bring the food to our table? You know, bend the

rules just a little bit.

Eugene, Vaughn, Hoserberg.

Uh, you bet.

So, do you think he got it?

Yeah.

Go!

You bet.

Deja vu.

You can stop, C -Club. Or should I say, Snowsuit Guy.

We'll see you next time.

Stop talking about Eugene.

Oh, hey Virgil.

Yeah, it's nobody you know. I'm just talking about the snowsuit guys.

Oh, yeah, I heard about them.

They're supposed to be total heroes.

Oh, and I hear the medium height guys are extremely hilarious and

handsome.

And they're called the Minutemen. Not the snowsuit guys.

I noticed Eugene's cop's attitude.

Check out Chester.

Am I a trendsetter?

You tell me, amigo.

I mean, who else are these kids supposed to look up to to set trends?

Those doorknobs?

Virgil, Virgil, Virgil.

I almost called you last night, but I wanted to tell you in person.

What's going on? I got accepted into UC Belmont.

Get out.

But it's not a done deal yet. I applied for a cheerleading scholarship in their

center. a scout over this week, which means I have to work extra hard on my

pyramid dismount. So cool. I'm so psyched for you. You love that school. I

Oh, Derek.

I gotta go tell him about the scholarship.

So, I'll see you later, Birch.

Charlie?

What's wrong?

Okay, well, there's something I haven't told you about the time travel formula.

Remember, there was one last piece of the equation that evaded my mind for

several years until I finally found what I was looking for through an extensive

run -of -the -clock internet downloading procedure.

You was hacked?

It gets worse.

I stole it from NASA.

You robbed NASA?

It's not as bad as it sounds.

Yes, it is. It's worse than it sounds. The files are from the 1960s. They were

defunct. No one has touched them for decades. That's bad.

Oh, just so you guys know, if we do go to prison and we share the same cell, I

snore like a chainsaw. That's great. This won't be a problem, okay? As long

we just don't use the machine for a while and lay low.

Drop the grape.

But forget it.

I mean, we all said that we were being watched, right?

The heat is on. Look, Charlie, if we don't help Stephanie, she can lose out

her scholarship.

We have to go back.

He just wants you because you have a big creepy crush on her.

Creepy crush? I vote yes. Charlie, you said it yourself.

The files you hacked into were defunct. I bet nobody even knows they're missing.

Nina, I remind you, we are the Minutemen, not the Weenie Men.

At the same time, both sides.

Deke, what do you think?

Friends keep harassing us. Shut up, dirtball.

All right, everybody just settle down.

Chester, last I remember, you were at the bottom of the food chain.

And I will not tolerate students leapfrogging to a higher social status.

come with me.

Tramp toy?

Thanks. Sure.

Can I have one?

Robot Man Sue's old lady?

Virgil, this is bad.

We're changing the outcome of things we never planned on.

Our jumps are causing a chain reaction.

How so?

Trust you're getting in trouble.

That's never happened before.

Robot men suing old ladies.

Yes. Oh, that's the world gone mad.

Mad, I tell you.

Global warming.

He's really freaked out.

Hey. You, uh, need a hand?

Uh, Steph.

Um, not really.

What do you mean? I figured it's the least I could do, you know, to thank

Well, for what?

For saving me, snowsuit guy.

What? No.

Don't even try it, Virg. Get out.

Wait. You, Charlie, and Zeke Thompson are the snowsuit guys.

Stephanie. Oh, I knew it. Oh, that is so cool. See, I figured it out because I

started thinking about it. All those kids that you helped, it was always

before something bad is about to happen, just like with me. Steph, that is

ridiculous. How in the world are we going to know when something bad is

happen? That's exactly what I asked myself.

And I thought about it, and I thought about it, and I figured it out.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did. No, you couldn't have. Oh, I admit it, Virgil.

You, Charlie, and Steve.

Hard time travelers.

What? Who said time travelers? No, no, no, no, no, no. We are psychic. We're

psychic. No, I heard you.

You're right. No, no, no, no, no.

My gosh, that is so cool. How do you do it? Huh? Huh? Huh?

to a four -point lead as we come up on fourth and goal for Somerton.

Football.

Remind me why we're here again?

Some poor kid always embarrasses himself with one of these things. Just keep

your eyes open.

You know, I'm actually very bright. Even though a lot of people see me as Buddy.

Buddy? I'll cross between Spunky and Nutty.

Great.

It's all in your hands, but no pressure, all right?

Forget that there's six... seconds left on the clock. Forget that you could put

Somerton High on the map.

Forget that my little boy's up there in that stance looking down at his father

trying to fulfill a lifelong dream of winning a state championship.

Forget all that.

What I want is you to be the ball.

Be the ball.

Be the ball. Go get him.

Time travel?

That's a whack down, man.

One, two, three, four.

Your team thinks you'll never score.

Amy. Five, six, seven, eight. You can't touch this. I'm too great. Amy, that's

it. Upstairs. No one. Stephanie, I didn't even see you. It's so weird that

you're here.

And, oh, my gosh, Derek Bogard.

You're like the best football player ever.

Except for that blown play yesterday.

Amy, go watch cartoons.

No.

I'm so...

I'm so sorry.

I'm trying to talk my folks into caging her whenever there's company.

She's so cute.

Oh, so, um, about the game yesterday, Birch, that was a really big deal for

Derek, and he kind of feels like he let everybody in school down.

I know I would have won that game. But then Chester, she's crossed the field

distracted him.

I don't know what's gotten into all the dorks lately. It's like they just don't

know their place anymore.

So, you guys want the Minutemen?

to stop Chester from interfering with the game.

Uh, no, we want you guys to do it.

You're the Minutemen?

That's us.

Never mind.

So, uh, I don't know.

Charlie's gonna be a tough sell.

Come on, Verge.

I mean, I know we never really talked about what went down that day freshman

year, but the thing is, I tried to stop him. It was a raw deal, man.

I just wish you and I could get back to how we used to be. Always chilling.

What do you say, man?

Scorch!

I can't believe you want to help Derek after what he did to you.

Charlie, it did not happen the way we think it did.

Besides, it's time to move on. I've been running some tests, and I think we

might be damaging the space -time continuum with all our time traveling.

that could cause serious consequences to our future, or even the planet.

What happened to Derek in that game is actually our fault.

Indirectly. He's right, Kookaburra. Chester's like a totally different

after you rescued him in the locker room. Excellent point, Jeanette.

Is it me, or have I totally lost control of this project?

Lost control, bro.

Sorry I'm late.

Activating grid.

Ah, yes, we mustn't forget the grappling hook.

Everybody's got to make fun of the hook.

I'll be sorry.

tape with you when you jump back in time. It still exists.

Pretty clever, huh?

This is crazy, man.

I mean, Virg, you're the man. I gotta tell the guys about this. No, no, no,

no, no. No, this is way too big. This has gotta stay between us. Yeah, yeah,

worries, brother.

But we gotta celebrate.

I mean, tomorrow we're partying at my house, and Virg, you gotta be there.

Oh, I want to. I can't, though. I'm hanging with Charlie. The Weather

counting down the top ten hailstorms of all time.

I didn't realize how lame of an evening that was until I said it out loud.

Oh,

thank you.

Hey.

So, you having fun?

Oh, yeah. I haven't been to a party since I was ten.

And I remember the ponies threw up on me.

That was my birthday party.

Oh.

I'm kidding.

Good.

So I guess you're going to the dance on Saturday?

Yeah, I guess.

You don't sound happy about it.

I don't know. Derek and I go to every party, every social gathering.

It's really a sickness when you think about it.

I don't know.

Being popular seems like a very satisfying way of life.

I don't know about that.

Sometimes I wonder if I chose the right path.

I mean, look at you. You don't seem to mind that you're... Captain of the

dorks? I wasn't going to say it like that.

But seriously, you guys always look like you're having so much more fun than

everybody else.

Really?

Because from our side, it looks like you guys are having a lot of fun.

Really? Yeah.

Hey, Virg. Hey.

So good partying with you again, man.

No, and thank those other guys for me. What's his name? The big, uh, scary guy

in that little twerp? Oh!

Dang it, I forgot to cancel Charlie.

Hold on, let me call him.

I probably forgot all about it.

How many more times do I have to apologize?

212 times ought to do it. Charlie, listen, I'm really, really sorry.

Fine. I forgive you.

Look, I'm just really frazzled. I'm worried about the time machine and the

possible ripple effect.

Hang on, dude, I got another call. I'll get rid of him.

Hello? Hey, Rachel?

I can't believe it.

Steph, what's wrong?

I'll be right there.

Stephanie.

Stephanie.

I haven't done this since eighth grade.

That wasn't there before.

Could have used the front door.

Yeah, but what phone would that be?

So, tell me, what happened?

So, um, Derek got out of practice early.

And when I went over to his house, I saw him kissing Jocelyn Lee.

Oh, Steph.

I knew it, too.

I just didn't want to believe it.

I feel so stupid.

much like pistachio nuts, but in the rush to get over here, I accidentally

grabbed a bag of pasta shells.

Do you have any marinara sauce?

No, I can go get some of you.

You're joking.

It was really nice of you to come over, Birch.

You're an amazing friend.

Listen, I'm gonna talk to him.

I have to end it once and for all.

Good luck.

These repeated irregularities are all maintaining half -lives after their

primary incidents.

It's totally weird, Bill.

I mean, it's serious, sir.

And all of the fluctuations are emanating directly from Somerton High

Actually, I have a theory about that.

It's... well... Does the department have any contact with the FBI?

You know, you're kind of scary and unapproachable.

Can we sit with you?

You don't know what it's like to be mad.

I mean, a great athlete, usually popular.

I mean, it's like people expect me to play the field and cheat all month.

your point? I didn't cheat.

I mean, Jocelyn made the first move. She kissed me, but I didn't kiss her back.

I mean, that does not count as cheating.

Thing is, I mean, this is where you come in.

I want you to go back in time.

Stop Stephanie from busting me with Jocelyn. What?

Why should I? Because I made a big mistake.

A huge one. And it'll never happen again, I swear to you. I know.

I mean, you really hurt her.

I know.

I know, and I feel awful.

But Steph and I have been going out for a long time now.

You know, and she's everything a guy could ever want.

I'd like that the three of us have been hanging out again.

Like the old days. And it could still be like that, man.

Come on, buddy. What do you say?

Put on your seat belt.

Tony, I got the wrong guy. But I can give you the names of the two.

He's going to give me fake names.

Never write you guys out. Yeah, right.

Mr. Keep -Me -On -Hold -All -Night.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

My name is Agent Rehnquist of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

I'm going to let you boys in on a secret.

A national secret.

In 1969, shortly after the Apollo 11 moon landing, the United States

began funding a number of new scientific projects.

One of these projects was time travel.

What? Time travel? Crazy. I mean, that's like so science fiction -y.

Hollywood baloney.

Project turned up few results.

and was eventually shut down.

Files never again touched.

That is, until two months ago, when an industrious individual or individuals

broke into the NASA mainframe using a computer we traced to Somerton High

School.

All right, I... What my friend was about to say is that if you're

not going to charge us with anything, you can't keep us here.

That's right. Look it up.

I took a semester of government.

Got to be minus.

I don't understand, sir. You're just letting them go?

You get more information just by watching them. Yeah, but now they know

watching them and... Yes, sir.

Excellent plan.

Oh, this is bad.

Real bad.

Yeah. Way to go, naughty Ned.

Thanks to you, we have the FBI on our backs.

Me? I wanted to stop this whole thing weeks ago, but no.

You had to use it for your own personal gain. Charlie's right. Going to parties,

hanging with the populace. Hey, if I remember correctly, you benefited from

this, too. How so? We gave you a life.

Before us, you were this big guy everyone was afraid of. You better shut

Virgil.

See? You're being mean, Virgil. Charlie, why don't you just go home to your

computer and your cat?

I will.

Good luck on your new life as a popular person.

I'm out of here, too.

I'm better off on my own. I always have been.

Well, that's the last of the data.

Unfortunately, we won't have an answer until morning.

for not having a supercomputer.

Hello?

Oh.

Hey, Derek.

What do you say, Virg?

You gonna help me out, buddy?

Yeah, sure.

DRock.

Your mom let me in. It is such a nice day. You know, I was thinking, maybe we

could go on a walk and talk about our future together, and then... Oh.

I'd like to have an orange house.

That way, you wouldn't even have to have an address.

And on the envelope, it would just say, Jeanette Batchelouski.

Orange house.

It's done.

Oh. Um, I'm no scientist, but that doesn't look good.

We created a... Oh. Uh,

uh, spin it up, you bird.

Oh, black hole!

That's bad, right?

Now, as the timeline continues, we see an increased number of occurrences here

in the Somerton area. If we can all turn to page 47, we can see where I've

highlighted certain areas.

I stole the formula from NASA, and man, we've been time traveling all over. Way

ahead of you, Mr. Tuttle. I'd like for you to meet Drs. Connors and Winthorpe

from the seismology department at Pacific Tech.

Doctors, this is Charles Tuttle.

What are you, nine years old?

He's 14.

Oh, well, that's better.

Now I don't feel like such a loser.

So you already know about the black hole?

What? The black hole!

I knew you guys were underfunded, but come on. That's preposterous. We've ran

the worst -case scenario several times. We never came up with a black hole.

I see five, six decimals that weren't carried over.

Oops.

Yeah, oops.

Each time we used the machine, the rift created in the space -time continuum did

not disappear.

Instead, the fluctuations blended together to create one giant black hole.

And the worst part is, the black hole will spread until it swallows up

Then the Northwest, then the entire United States.

And so on.

How much time till zero hour?

According to my estimates, we have... We have less than four hours to the end of

the world.

Okay, people, we're going to code red. We'll get Washington on the phone now.

There might be a way to reverse it.

But it's a long shot.

Well, let's hear it.

Sir.

I'm really glad you're coming with me.

Hey what are friends for?

Everything set?

Uh, yeah. The suits are in the basement, and then we'll go through the tunnels

under the cafeteria.

Sweet. We'll go as soon as they announce the winners.

Hey, Marshall.

Steph,

do you believe that a person's life can change in a single moment?

Sometimes. For the better, others for the worse.

Yeah, I guess.

There is a moment in one of our lives that's about to change.

And I don't know if it's for the better or for the worse.

Virgil, I'm not following.

Attention.

Attention, everyone.

It's time to announce this year's king and queen of the dance.

But first... Sonny Red and I want to fry up some peanut butter and banana

sandwiches. Thank you. Oh, thank you very much.

Elvis Presley.

Anyone?

Come on, that was a brilliant... Whatever.

Stephanie Jameson and Virgil Fox get up here. You won.

This is such a surprise.

Not really.

I guaranteed that we'd win. I went back in time and stuffed the ballot box.

Miss Jameson and Mr. Fox.

Don't let it go to your head. There's still time for a recount.

Did you really stuff the box?

Yeah.

I mean, you, sure, but who would vote for me?

I would.

This is weird.

Yeah.

Why?

A good weird.

How you can be friends with someone for so long. along and then... It's

different.

A good difference.

Come on, brother. It's time to go.

Oh, about that. I think I changed my mind.

You promised.

Virgil. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back.

I knew Derek would be hacked about virtual premium Stephanie.

Can we talk about this?

Oh, man. Come on.

Stephanie!

Stephanie!

Where's Virgil? He left with Derek.

Why?

Don't tell me he's going to trip back in time.

Oh, my gosh. That's what he's doing.

He might make things worse.

What? Why?

Stephanie, I just... I just think... Dude, don't tell me you're going to try

steal my girl.

We're friends. I mean, buddies don't do that to each other. Virgil!

Virgil, what?

Virgil, we have a small problem.

We have less than an hour to save the planet.

What are you talking about? Well, what do we have here?

To me, like the beginnings of a fracas.

What?

fracas to fight.

Yes, we'll sort out all the detentions later. Right now, all of you, get back

the gym.

Everyone, move.

Everyone, freeze.

FBI.

Stop. CIA.

Fear of voice and measures.

In the future, you should probably go first.

Hold the phone. We cannot let these students go in that thing. They could

We have no choice.

They're the only ones familiar with the equipment.

If they don't go, then we could all die.

Got feet.

You know what?

I'm the one who messed everything up.

I'll go alone.

Charlie and Zeke have nothing to do with it. What do you mean nothing to do with

it? I admit it.

I helped.

No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. You paid.

You'll both go.

Listen, guys.

Once we reverse the wormhole's polarity, there's no way of measuring how quickly

we'll close. It can stay open for several more minutes or it can vanish

instantaneously. And even if we do make it back alive, there's no guarantee

we'll return exactly to the point in time that we acted this way.

Aye, aye, Senator Positive.

Good luck speaking.

So, Virgil, I hear you're trying to save the world.

That's right.

Big Brother's pretty cool, huh? When you die, can I have your room?

Mine is way too small, and... Bye, Amy.

Charlie, Charlie, um, um, come back in one piece, okay?

Come on, Charlie. We gotta go.

Charlie. Charlie.

There we go.

I want you to know. Hey, man. Good luck.

With everything?

Yeah. Great.

Don't go anywhere.

Just be careful.

I think we landed in Munchkin Land.

What up, Munchkin?

Actually, we're across the park.

What planet did you come from? Did you come from Neptune?

Did people from Neptune eat macaroni? I love macaroni. Is macaroni a vegetable?

Beat it, kid. We're working here.

Hey, set up the antenna.

We're getting reversal sequence.

Come on.

Hey, guys.

Today's September 3rd, 2005.

First day of school, freshman year.

Oh, that's the day.

The incident.

The incident.

Of course.

This is the day that a module of quantum acceleration first interacted with the

space -time continuum.

The rocket car, remember?

Yes. It's linked the wormhole from our present to this moment in time.

What's going on down there? Why not?

Isn't that what made the men do undue mistakes?

Why made a mistake down there?

I have a chance to be somebody.

Okay, but know this.

What happened down there is we became friends.

That day that we were tied up together on that stupid ram statue.

This day.

This day that you hate so much.

Just because he got a little embarrassed.

This is my favorite day.

Even though I'd still be a nerd, it didn't really matter anymore.

Because now I had a real friend.

And I would always make everything okay.

So much for always, I guess.

Listen, listen, Verge, you do what you got to do here.

And if things aren't the same on the other side, it's been a good ride.

Hey, guys, wait.

You shouldn't do that.

Because I've got a much better idea. I mean, why don't we smear this all over

him?

The vortex just went in overdrive. Hold on, you're telling me... If that thing

touches the ground, we'll be trapped here for good.

Wait, what about Virgil? There's no way we'll make it, Joanie. It's back to the

vortex in time.

Charlie, Charlie, get up.

Get up, Charlie. We gotta keep moving.

Let's go.

You do not want to go back there.

Kid's getting roughed up by some football players.

It's real ugly.

You don't say.

First, I felt kind of sorry for the dorky kid, but... I realized what he

me for.

Got himself a great friend down there.

Someday I'll have other great friends, too.

You know, let's come up with our own handshake. Can we go now? Because I

don't feel like repeating the last three years of high school. Get out of here.

Go, go, go, go, go.

So let's move it, boys.

Let's go.

Steph, that's why I need her help. I have no idea what you just said.

I said my boyfriend is a lying cheese brain.

Come on, Steph. Derek, I'm trying to study.

Hey, you know what?

This is the first day that we time traveled. The day we toured to win the

lottery. Wow, nice outfits, Bozos.

Hey, Derek.

I fell in with Jocelyn.

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, I don't know.

I figure you're both so good with lipstick.

Make a perfect match.

You are always going to be a dork anyways, Virgil. And you are always

be a jerk, Derek.

Have a nice life.

Ladies.

Thanks, pumpkin.

You've never kissed her before. The scene in the hallway hasn't happened

Oh, right.

Jeanette!

I'm sorry.

I was just... I can explain.

Hey.

It's okay.

Steph. Oh, hey. You didn't see me in here before, did you?

No, and what's with the weird suit?

I was just rehearsing a little school play about time travel.

And it kind of got me thinking.

If I really could go back in time, what would I change?

A snowsuit?

I would tell Stephanie how I really feel about her.

And I think she's great.

Really? And if I could go back in time?

I think I tell Virgil the same thing.

Virgil! Virgil!

What? Charlie? What does the word teleportation mean to you?

Huh? It's an excellent thing. Bigger than time travel. It's a whole new

transportation paradigm.

We saw the slide projectors. And this is the moon. This is the moon. I'll call

you. This is the moon.

It's like time travel. No, Charlie.

No, no, no. Charlie, it's a black hole.

Charlie, listen.

Charlie, it's a black hole.

inside the black hole and closed it?