Original subtitles

Come in.

Hi.

I'm Ryan. I'm Alexia. Nice to meet you. Have a seat. Sure.

Okay, so let me just start out by telling you a little bit about myself

practice here.

I have been in psychology and therapy for, I've practiced in this office for

last four years.

I mainly see a wide variety of clientele, basically dealing with

the people who have issues that are not that severe, but things that are

stopping positive progress in their life.

We just kind of talk through things. This first session that we'll do, we

basically just kind of get a base foundation.

of you and your life.

And, you know, I want you to tell me some things that, I don't want to say

problems you're having, but things that feel like problems to you.

And then we'll kind of, I'll take some notes on it. Just so you know, Tamara, I

film all of my patient sessions.

It helps both of us really be able to, me to go back when I'm, Sometimes when

you're in the middle of something, you know, you don't remember everything as

well. And so when I'm at home and I'm able to kind of replay things and maybe

pick up something that I didn't notice the first time. Yeah.

And for you, sometimes, actually, I've had a few clients who actually will

the videos from their previous sessions, and they see the difference from when

they began the process.

So that's very helpful. That's what that's all about.

Do you mind me asking how you found out about myself and the

practice here?

I was actually just online Googling the best therapist we could find around

town. Okay. And your name showed up. Okay.

That's great.

Now, are you from, are you local here?

Did you just move here, or are you from the area?

Actually, my family and I just moved out here a year ago.

Okay. Yeah. So we're pretty new to the city.

Okay. Now, do you have siblings?

I have one brother and one sister.

Okay. Yeah, they're both older than me.

Okay. Let me go ahead and take some notes here on this.

Yeah. My sister, she's about 32.

My daughter is 45.

Okay.

Okay, all right.

That's good to know.

Hold on. Sorry about that. Let me just get organized here for a second.

My secretary, she did a very poor job of organizing my

notes for me, but that's okay. That's something I'll talk to her about.

Okay.

I already hear that. That's okay.

Let me just put it over there.

Okay, so you just moved to town a year ago?

Just a year ago. Now, were you living in the state, or is it a completely

different atmosphere and lifestyle to you than what you've been used to?

So this is more the city. I mean, I came from Nevada.

Okay. So it's more quieter, more calmer out there. Okay. So it's pretty

different. Did you feel more...

yourself and at ease there or in this new situation is that I guess some of

problems that you've one of the reasons why you're here like is that kind of a

new development since the move or is it issues that you've been having that you

feel you've been having for a longer period of time yeah I definitely feel

Reason why I'm here is because I moved out from like a completely new, I mean

completely different kind of city. So it's a whole new change for me and I

like my parents have been treating me kind of differently ever since we moved

here. Okay, you still live with your parents? Yeah. Okay.

Okay, go ahead. Keep on coming with me.

Yeah, and I don't know. I just feel like...

Ever since I moved here, like, I haven't had many friends out here.

You know, I haven't had much people to talk to. And my parents, they're just

always working all the time.

Okay.

So your friends that you have back where you were living, you still keep in

touch with them?

Yeah, sometimes we talk.

Sometimes we call each other. But you don't, like, in person?

No. No. Okay.

Not since I moved here.

Okay.

Well.

I'm going to just go ahead, just before we get too much basic information here.

Why don't you tell me what exactly it is

that is frustrating to you right now? Like, what is it that's the problem that

you're trying to get through?

Well, I feel like my parents, they've been treating me like shit lately.

Okay. You know, like...

I feel like all my friends, they have it way better than me. They're going to

better schools.

I have one girlfriend that's even going to Harvard.

And my parents don't even encourage me to go to schools like that. They don't

care about where I'm going.

They don't even bother to show up to meetings that my teachers would have.

They wouldn't want to talk to them. They didn't want to show up.

Just that I feel like they don't really care about my life at all. You know like

I asked them to show up you know and tell me oh or not tell me but just like

least support me in school and They're just working so hard that they don't

notice like when I'm going what time I come home So I just want to know what I

could do about that well, so

I think something you have to consider is it's very difficult to be an adult

it comes with responsibilities, right? You, young, you don't really have any

responsibilities. And so you kind of think that just my initial thought is a

little, you know, comes with youth, narcissism and the

sort of thought process that, well, everybody should.

cater to everything that's going on in your world, in your life.

And you need to realize that they have, like you said, jobs. They work very

hard. If they weren't doing that, you know, they're trying to provide for you.

You said you still live with them. I'm guessing they pay for your meals and

sort of thing.

So you need to realize that they're doing the best they can

and that not everything in their world revolves around you.

They can still love you when everything revolves around you. You know, they've

got a lot on their table.

So, I mean, your study, you said your friend got into Harvard.

Yeah. Is that something you want to do? Is that an ambition or a desire of yours

to be as?

school like that like an ivy school or yeah i've always wanted to go to an ivy

league school ever since i started freshman year of high school like i've

been wanting to go there and i even told my parents like hey what would you guys

think if i went to harvard or yale or stanford and they didn't even care

just like as long as you go to school and then they drifted off the

are you a are you a good student did you take your school seriously

Yeah, I take my school seriously. I mean, I get good grades, but I go out

my girlfriends, like, almost every weekend.

But that doesn't mean I'm not taking it serious.

I mean, I have my own car, too.

You have your own car?

Yeah. Is that from your parents?

Yeah, and you would never guess. It's super shitty.

It's old, and it's so, like, used up. It sucks.

That's why I'm late all the time to everywhere.

I'm late to school, which they don't even care about.

Now I have a shitty car.

Right. Well, I think you'd be thankful that your parents got you a car at all.

I'm guessing blaming your car on being late to

school makes no sense. Is it breaking down? If it was breaking down all the

time, I'm sure they'd get you a new car or they would fix it.

You saying that you're late, really all you're saying is that you're not making

school a top priority.

And you're blaming the car, and you're blaming your parents for buying you the

car. Yeah, but it's like a 2019 Toyota car, and it's 2021. They

need to get with the program. It's not even funny. Like, that's so old.

Okay, well, listen, I'm not going to, obviously we're not going to debate.

the status of your car or anything like that. But just so you know, most

people in the world, a two -year -old vehicle is not that old.

It's definitely not something that should be upsetting you or upsetting

life.

If you need to get to school and you need a car, like some people, I'm

you have friends. Do all your friends have cars?

Yeah, they have, like, nice femurs, they have nice families, everything like

that. It's like, why can't they just get me something like that instead of this

old piece of trash?

Well, I don't think a car that's two years old is a piece of trash.

2019.

Like I said, I'm seeing some, and this obviously happens with younger people,

entitlement.

A sense that you're owed the best of everything all the time, and

that's not realistic.

Your parents giving you a car at all is a great thing. If they were buying you a

brand new car, you know, it's not necessarily a realistic situation for,

know, the real world.

They're actually helping to prepare you for what you're going to be facing,

which is obstacles and not always having exactly...

everything you want at your fingertips all the time. You have to learn

and you have to understand that work comes along with

success and things that you want.

I mean, I guess that's true.

And then that's why I came in here, because I just couldn't figure that out

myself. I think they're just treating me like shit for, like, whatever reason

they have.

And do you feel, so you said you have two siblings?

Yeah. So how do you feel like they treat your siblings?

They're super nice with them. They give them everything that they want, which is

what I don't get. Like if they want a new car, like a brand new car, like a

newer car, like a 2021 car. Like my sister just got a new car.

They would give that to her, no problem. But when I ask for something, they're

super blown out by it.

I'm sorry, what's that? Super blown out by it. Like they don't want to do it.

They don't want to do anything for me.

Well, I think that you need to realize that

they're doing the best that they can. And there are times when they're going

do things for, you know, a sibling that may seem like they don't do that for

you, but that's part of psychologically getting caught up in the moment and not

seeing the bigger picture.

And the bigger picture is things probably...

You know, there have been a lot of studies done. I did an entire thesis on

family psychology and this sort of thing. And a lot of times,

everything is most of the time equal.

There's equal treatment. So if you are thinking to yourself that it's not

that it's biased towards, you know, siblings, then you're probably just.

dealing with, again, that ego, which is just focusing on what's happening to you

and how is what's happening to that person affecting me, right? And really,

does not actually affect you. What happens to you affects you, but saying

happens to somebody else is affecting you or affecting how you're viewing a

situation, again, that's one of the reasons, one of the things we'll talk

through and through these sessions and get through is you have to...

Put the ego aside.

Do you have a boyfriend or someone you're seeing?

No, I'm actually single right now.

Okay. Yeah, my boyfriend and I broke up like months ago, like five months ago.

Was that your decision or his?

It was more my decision because he was super controlling.

Always control what I would wear, where I would go, what I would do, who would I

would talk to, everything.

He would even want to check my phone.

And he was just so annoying, super controlling.

And there was nothing you were doing. It was basically all his doing.

No, I mean, no, it was just all him.

Like, honestly, I had no issues. I was such a good girlfriend.

You know, like, I...

Never did any of that stuff to him. I never was controlling him. I didn't give

fuck what he did, how he cared about what I was doing.

Wasn't that so annoying?

Well, I think that he was showing a lot of interest in you.

How long were you together?

We were together for about... maybe about six

months.

Do you normally have short relationships like that?

Yeah, they never go beyond a year.

And it's always them, like I'm telling you.

It's always them. It's always their fault?

Yeah, it's always their fault. I'm always getting super controlled with

boyfriends. I just cannot deal with them. It just never lasts more than a

So hopefully I can find someone last more than a year.

Yeah.

What about your... You said you had friends back in the town you had been

in.

What about their lives or in relation to yours and your happiness?

Well, see, some of my friends get super pissed off because they say, I never

have the time for them.

Like, I see them once a month or maybe once every other month.

Isn't that enough? And they were like, how come we can't go out for, like,

or for, like, something on the weekend? Like, it always has to be on a day that

you're free and you're available.

And I'm like, well, because that's the day I'm free and I'm available.

What's the issue?

Right? It's so dumb.

So, is it them always coming up to visit you, or do you go over to them?

Oh, no. They live way too far now, so I always have them come to me.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. And they usually, like, get a hotel for me.

Do you help with the cost of that, since they're driving up?

No, I'll make food, but that's about it.

Yeah. Okay.

And do you...

Are you in any sort of music or athletics or any sort of, do you do any

It was school?

Yeah, I was in a school band, and they said I was doing everything wrong.

So I, like, flipped out on them and said, you know what, I don't need to be

your stupid band.

I was in cheer.

They tried to get me from cheer to band.

They said I was too preppy for that.

Whatever.

And how long did you do that before you quit?

What, cheer?

Yeah. Did it feel like... Well, and you said you quit band as well, right? You

quit both things? Yeah, it only lasted a day.

Oh, it was a day?

Okay. Yeah, because they said they just couldn't handle my attitude, and I don't

know what attitude they were talking about, so... Yeah, I was, like, the best

one they had. I put way more effort in a day than any of those people did.

Okay. Well, I mean, it's a little hard to find out if you're the best person in

one day.

I know I was.

Everybody was just staring at me like I had some problem, and actually they were

jealous of me.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

And since you're not taking time with athletics or band, do you have

a job?

I do, but they actually let me go really recently, like a week ago.

Okay. I was actually working at a coffee shop.

Okay.

And how long did you work there?

For a month.

Okay. Yeah, just for a month.

And you said they, why did you, let me ask you, why did you want to, why did

apply to a coffee shop? Why did you want that job?

I like their drinks a lot, so I feel like on break I could, like, instead of

having to pay for it, like, I could just get them for free.

Like, on my break. Okay.

And it worked out way better.

So, that's just something I wanted. Plus, I wanted money.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

It really wasn't about anything but, like, money and getting free drinks.

why did you need money to help with paying the bills for your parents? Or,

know, why?

I have a lot of loans.

Like, credit loans. So, I wanted to pay that off. I mean...

I had no idea what I was doing with my credit cards, so I kind of maxed them

out, even though I'm still young. But I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah.

So wait, but you don't work there anymore?

I don't, no. What happened?

They let me go because I was eating on my break, like all the food that they

had, and they were getting pissed off. But you were eating their food, the food

they sell?

Yeah, like bakery items.

You didn't pay for them?

No, because I thought since I work there, it's free.

Like, at least somewhat free.

And they didn't... No, they were like, we have to let you go. This is like the

fourth time you're doing this.

And so I'm guessing they had warned you before.

They warned me.

And why did you... Because I didn't take them... I thought they were just

joking, like you can't have any or something.

That's all I thought it was.

Yeah, they, like, still let me go because they knew I was going to kill it

that job. I was way better than anybody there.

So, wait, so they let you go because... They knew I was going to kill it in that

job. They knew I was going to do so well. I mean, I was the best one

so... I don't understand why they would fire you if they thought you were the

best. Me either. I was the only one doing way more than any other people

They just hated on me.

Just because you're... you and...

Because I'm so new, and I did so good, and other people had to be there for

years and work to where I'm getting.

They saw that I was super successful in the job, so.

Yeah, they just caught me eating, like, off the bakery items, and that was,

like, the only way they wanted to let me go. They're like, that's it. That's the

final straw.

So they used that as, like, an excuse.

They used that as an excuse to let me go.

But it's only because they loved me. That's it. They really thought I was

to do well.

Okay, so are you, have you applied to have another job? Are you looking for

another?

Yeah, I was looking for like another coffee shop job, see how that works.

See if they have like other policies that I could work around with.

And people that probably don't hate on me as much.

Okay. I really feel like ever since I moved here.

Everybody hates me. Nobody likes me. Nobody wants to get along with me.

I can't keep anything going on for, like, longer than a day or two.

It's kind of annoying.

And you think that they, like, they have it out for you?

Yeah, they do. Like, ever since I moved here, they're like, fuck that new girl.

Like, we're going to ruin things for her. We're going to make everything

shitty for her. And that's what I've been feeling.

But, I don't know.

Why do you think that they're doing that?

Because they're envious of me. They just, like, hate that I'm super pretty.

hate that I'm super good at everything that I do. So that's what I think it is.

I don't know what else their issue is. What do you think?

Well, I mean, I don't... I can't imagine an entire town hating on you. That

doesn't seem very plausible.

They do.

I mean, jobs that I barely just started working in, people that I just met,

girls that I met in school, my parents now are turning on me. It doesn't make

any sense. Like, why is this all happening all at once towards me? Like,

moved here.

That's it.

Right, but I mean, you have been here a year. It's not like, it's not like this

is a, I would say maybe if you've been here a week and you were having these

emotions and feelings, possibly it would be.

attributed to the new move and the, you know, feeling uneasy about the new

environment. But thinking about this way for like a year after you've lived here

kind of makes me think maybe it's something more to do with you and the

view yourself and the way you view the situation.

No, I really feel like people are out to get me.

Like they don't like me here in this town. They want me to go back to my

hometown.

They're so done with me.

Yeah, it's only been a year, right? So it doesn't make any sense that they

go after me.

I don't understand.

Yeah. That's why I came here.

So, I mean, what are your solutions here? You've just been sitting here

at me and just kind of agreeing with everything I'm doing.

Well, I'm just allowing you time to talk. Normally with sessions, that's

that patients need to do is to vent and talk and work through their problems.

I can't.

No, I feel like you really don't believe me on anything I'm saying. You probably

agree with these people. Like this girl's a nut job or something.

That's how you're looking at me as. No, no, no, no, not at all.

So I do have something that I think specifically as I listen to you talk and

describe your situation, I have a method.

That's an exercise that I think you would definitely benefit from. I think

it's something that is untraditional in method, but I

think that it is something that would definitely benefit you.

But how are you certain that this is going to benefit you? Oh, I'm not

but I'm confident.

I'm confident with your situation and your...

attitude and your mannerisms and what you're telling me that this particular

exercise is something that we should give it a try today.

I do think we should try it today. I don't think we should wait until the

session.

But it's something where you're going to feel uncomfortable.

You're going to feel a little uneasy, a little...

Those sort of feelings. But that's something that is one of your problems.

just can't see it.

And so if we work through getting past that with this exercise, then that will

help you significantly.

So, I mean, are you sure this is the right situation for this? I mean, I

feel uncomfortable.

Well, this is the right exercise for you. There's really no doubt about

that. But I need you to commit to it because you're going to feel

and you're not going to want to continue with things just like you do in life

when you're quitting everything, boyfriends or your jobs or band or

But I need you to commit before we start that when things do get uncomfortable,

you're going to power through this exercise.

You know, it's just one hour, you know, in this room that we have where we're

talking. I need you to just commit for that short amount of time.

And not turn back or run from the situation.

I mean, I guess.

Well, I don't want to say I guess. It's a yes or no. Are you committed to it or

not? Do you want to get better? Do you want to get past your situation or not?

do, yes.

Okay. I'm committed to this.

Okay, why don't you stand up for me?

Just relax.

Just close your eyes.

Let me move over here a little bit, just so I can be right there.

Is it parted? Yes, we've already begun.

Do you need to be touching me like this?

Yes, I do actually, because a lot of your attention is in your unease with

yourself, whether you realize it or not.

Relax your hands.

Keep your eyes closed.

Just relax.

You are very attractive.

I need

you to be quiet.

And just go with it. You said you were going to be committed.

Can you share it with us?

Yes, I know exactly what I'm doing.

Interesting that you're not wearing your hands there. I usually never do.

All right.

I'm not done.

I should just sit here.

Sit down.

Are you committed?

Yeah. Getting better?

A little bit.

I want you to take this off from me.

All the way up?

Way up.

Would you go ahead and lie back on that couch?

Unclutch your legs.

Like this?

Mm -hmm.

And be comfortable with who you are.

You need to stop running and quitting everything.

Okay.

Tell me if the situation gets close to you, you run away.

You think so?

I don't know.

You just told me the case.

I'm just laying back like this. That's good.

Are you

sure

I can touch this?

Okay.

Stand up.

Would you go ahead and take that top off?

Nice and slow, just like that.

Okay.

Everything you're doing, like you're doing quickly.

Get through to the next thing.

Like that. Good.

It's really helping me too.

I need you to admit that sometimes you're bad.

You think so?

I need you to admit it.

I need you to say it.

I am pretty bad. I'm not going to lie to you.

I'm pretty naughty.

Yeah? Yeah.

I get really dirty sometimes.

Just like that.

A

lot

of pre -cum coming out.

Let's just keep pressing ahead of that clot.

You're getting really hard.

Yeah.

Do you like doing that? I do.

What do you find? It's just a bit all over your cock.

Did I say you could do that?

No.

But you kind of want to. Is that okay?

What do you want to do?

Suck your cock.

Mmm.

Look at me.

Just say you're bad again.

No, say you're bad.

I'm super bad.

I'm bad bad.

Or pictures.

Yeah.

Like this one?

Mm -hmm. I love hearing that on your cock.

Is that from the hard cock?

Yeah. Just this rock hard cock.

Is that from Moe?

Yeah, just like that. Yeah, just like that.

Your doll's just fucking slapping my hand.

Nice and hard.

Thank you.

so you don't have to rush anything, right?

Okay. Yeah, you're right.

There you go.

Are you bad?

Yeah, I'm really bad.

Say it again.

I'm super bad.

Say it again. I'm so bad.

Such a bad girl.

I'm going to make this fix it. Yeah.

Oh, fuck it.

Bye.

Yes, you do.

I don't care.

it for you

You've got to get me to come.

Very good for a session.

Very well.

I'll see you back here next week.

Yeah.

Can't wait.

Now in between today and next week, I want you to be nice to people.

Give people a chance.

Be open to being wrong.

Okay. I'll do that.

Go ahead and grab your stuff because there's a bathroom in the hallway.

Okay.

And talk to Betty about booking you next session.

Okay.