All language subtitles for 1 1 Real.Time.with.Bill.Maher.S24E09.480p

Start the clock.

How you doing?

I appreciate it.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, people. I appreciate that.

Great to have you here. Thank you. All
right.

Thank you. I know why you're happy.
Trump says there is a way out of Iran.

Unfortunately, it's through the airport.

Oh, have you... Anybody here had to come
through the airport?

Ooh, it's easier to get through the
Strait of Hormuz than the airport these

days.

And, you know, this impasse that has
been going on since January 31st is when

this bullshit started, you know, the
funding of the TSA. Everything in this

country is a hostage situation.

Every side's like, this dog gets it.

You do what we say on this, and then no
TSA. TSA, they don't mean to do this. So

the latest plan A that Trump had this
week was to send ICE to the airport.

Okay, forgetting that ICE does not
perform any sort of task that would be

alleviating the actual problem there.

So it's just more people standing
around. Plan B was to send to every

100 raccoons.

But finally today Trump signed an
executive order, don't know why he

have done that five weeks ago, that will
pay the TSA agents who haven't been

paid since Valentine's Day.

It's not good when people who have no
money work in a place where water is $6

bottle, okay?

But, finally, some good news, ladies and
gentlemen. Donald Trump is getting the

America First Award.

I'm not, no, maybe you never heard of it
because they just made it up.

But it is a real thing and he's getting
it.

Mike Johnson says it will be given
annually to Donald Trump.

But speaking of awards, I'm finally
getting one.

Thank you.

Yeah,

there was a lot of... Everyone's asking
me to explain what was going on, because

there's a lot of back and forth about
this. It's an award given at the Kennedy

Center, but of course that is now the
Trump Kennedy Center.

So, I was going to get it, and then
Friday, Trump...

Well, both his spokespeople come out and
said, fake news, Bill Maher's never

getting it.

We have reached a compromise, okay?

And the compromise is, I am going to get
it, and then I'm going to give it to

him.

Everybody's happy.

I just want things to work out. And
also, I want to say thank you.

Okay, I'm not looking for a fight, and
I'm not mad that he did this. You know

what? Me and the president, we have a
complicated relationship.

Goes back to the orangutan lawsuit.

You know, this has been going on a long
time, so him trying to block me from

getting it, I respect the move.

I respect the move. Keep the game going,
baby, okay?

I'm all about engagement.

Disengagement gets you nothing.

You've got to engage.

So even though I see that we're back to
him calling me a jerk and I'm a

lightweight ratings loser, get it off
your chest, big man. Okay, I'm

totally fine with it. I was proud of
these last insults you gave me. I added

them to the list of insults that I
brought to the White House that you

graciously when I was there, yes.

I would just like to say, as a low
-ratings lightweight, and a rather dumb

and a pathetic bloated sleazebag, a
dummy, a terrible student, a nervous,

failing comedian, and someone who is
sick, insane, very sad, totally shot,

crazy maniac, I am honored to accept the
mark. Thank you

very much.

And I will...

I will be there, Don, and I hope you
will be too. I mean, the place is named

after you now. You really should show
up.

You could show up. You could thank me in
person for being one of the few people

on the lunatic left who's glad you hit
Iran and is hoping we win that one,

So, oh, the war?

You know, all wars are foggy, but this
one's very foggy.

Trump says, boy, this is interesting. He
says they're in talk.

But with the Iranians. And the Iranians
say they're not talking at all.

It's a real he said, she has said.

It's a Islam joke.

Listen to this. Trump's quote. He said,
they want to make a deal so badly.

An Iranian negotiator said, our first
and last word has always been that

like us.

will never come to terms with someone
like you, not now, not ever. That

sound just like a no. That sounds like a
Taylor Swift, we are never, ever, ever

getting back together now.

But Trump gave an absolute deadline
today about the Strait of Hormuz. He

said you either open that else or else,
and Iran picked or else.

And then he extended the deadline to
April 6th. And then he said, OK, OK, if

don't do it, we're going to blow up your
electrical grid. And then they didn't

move on that. And so he extended that to
April 17th. He's kind of like that dad

in the car who says, don't make me turn
this thing around.

And then never does, you know.

I listen to this.

Last week we found out there's going to
be a gold Trump coin. Now he's putting

his signature on the currency, which the
Treasury Secretary has always had

forever in this country.

And I don't know about this, because
whenever Trump names stuff after

it never really works out. I mean, you
think about the Atlantic City casinos,

Trump University, Don Jr.

All right, nice kids.

All right, we've got a great show.
Stephen A. Smith and Laura Coats are

First up, the former CIA analyst and
cunning artificial who now serves as a

Democratic senator for Michigan, Senator
Alyssa Slotkin is here.

Hi. How you doing? Great to see you
again.

Oh, we love having you on.

Look at that. All right.

Did you get out here okay with the
airline situation?

I did. We had a 2 a .m. vote yesterday
and then got on a plane this morning.

Wow. Thank you very much.

And the airport was okay?

The airport was good. Oh, wow. I saw
some of the ICE officers. They were

actually moving packages, Amazon
packages, when I saw them. But it was

well.

I think we want, you know, we want TSA
paid. So that was the point of the 2 a

.m. vote. Who knew ISIS was such a Swiss
army knife, right?

What can't they do? That's my question.
Well, police our streets the way we want

them to be policed. Well, that's the
whole sticking point, right?

What I just mentioned there, it seems
like every problem that we used to be

to solve like adults is a hostage
situation.

Does it strike you that way that
everything is like, unless we get

want, because Trump umped the ante here
at one point to, okay, I'm not doing

this unless you also throw in the trans
issue.

Yeah.

Trans. I think, like, I don't think it
takes, you know, a genius to understand

that we are, like, ill as a country.

We feel most Americans feel proud of our
political system.

And it used to be that, you know, you
would argue and, of course, have

disagreements. But you get in a room,
kick everyone out, just put your head

and get a deal. And that has become I've
been a senator now for a year and

change. And that is just not the way
it's functioning.

And I don't again, I'm from Michigan.

We are a practical people.

And I don't 80 percent of the people
that I talk to cannot stand the way

politicians are representing themselves.

right now, period.

Well, I see even in the conservative
press this week,

people who, you know, we have the
California Post out here now, so that

keeps the liberals honest.

And they're usually, you know, I got
their head way up Trump's ass.

Even they are onto this story about
irregular trading.

that's going on.

What is your feeling about that? I mean,
they're using words like curious in the

head. Curious, because like a couple of
minutes before Trump makes some

pronouncement, people will be trading
and making enormous money. This is on

war in Iran and where oil is going.

What is your make of this?

I mean, I just dropped a bill yesterday
on prediction markets and that no one in

the government, whether you're a career
government person or a political

appointee like the president, his kids,
anybody, no one should be able to place

a bet based on insider information they
have on especially on issues of war and

peace. And so what we know from the
simple.

Just to put it in perspective, you know,
you would have people before we went

into Venezuela. You had a bunch of
people get online anonymously and go

the prediction markets and say, I bet
we're going to have some military action

in Venezuela tomorrow and made a ton of
money. Same thing ahead of the Iran war.

And these are people we can assume who
have insider information that we're

launching military operations.

Number one, that's insider trading.

Number two, it's also a complete
operational security risk. If you're the

Iranians and you're sitting there and
you're like, huh, I noticed there's a

bunch of bets coming in for a war
tomorrow.

It's like, oh, shit, I think we're about
to have a war. So I think that it's

just a bad thing all around, all around.

So what do you do about it? In the past,
when Trump has done stuff like this,

I'm thinking of the first impeachment
over.

Ukraine. And, you know, plainly, it was
things he should not have been doing.

But that didn't really work. And then
they took him to court a number of times

when he was out of office.

That didn't seem to work. Robert Mueller
died last week and somebody wrote a

column. And the basic idea was, you
know, you guys, you put your energy into

these impeachments and court rulings.

That's never going to work.

You've got to win this at the ballot
box. So for something like this, do you

take this to the level of impeachment?

Do you take this to the courts?

Well, I think they're...

We are going to have to grapple with the
unbelievable corruption that is coming

out of this administration.

I mean, the president, just his kids
alone, have earned a billion dollars

he became president.

So we're going to have to grapple with
that. But the bigger question for us as

Americans is it turns out a lot of the
things we thought were laws, we thought

were real rules, were actually just kind
of traditions.

Right. We had presidents who just they
would feel ashamed if they got involved

in business dealings in the middle of
their administration. And there just

wasn't real law there. So I think no
matter what, whether you're Democrat or

Republican, we're going to have to take
a hard look at how some of those

traditions that were based on good
behavior actually need to become law

real.

Good luck getting the Republicans to
sign on to that, though. Well, you know,

it'll be interesting. Right now, I mean,
you know, a lot of my peers really

just, like, salute whatever the
president tells them to do. They've sort

ceded their power as a separate branch
of government. It's amazing.

No, it's amazing.

Oh, I agree.

I'm just saying it's curious to me. I
mean, both parties do it to a degree. I

feel like there was one...

a viewpoint that came out after he
started this war with Iran. I mean,

one guy, John Fetterman, who I can think
of, who has dissented from the

Democratic Party line.

Is that really the case, that really
there's only one person in the whole

who thinks differently? You all
miraculously came to the exact same

about Iran? No, I think it's different
than that because, you know, I'm

I'm a former CIA officer.

I did three tours in Iraq.

And so I have no love lost for the
Iranian government. I mean...

The Iranian leadership, you know, killed
friends of mine with rockets and

mortars and IEDs.

But that's different from just running
headlong into a war without being able

articulate your goals and how you're
going to get out of it. See, that's the

Democratic talking point I hear all the
time, and I don't know if it's true. I

think they were planning to say that,
whether he did it or not, and then he

it, and they just kept saying it, even
though they did say many times, OK.

We found out that they're very close to
the bomb.

I mean, that's what came out in the
negotiations, that they were bragging

they were, like, weeks away from having
enough to make 11 bombs. That's pretty

clear. But look, I can say very openly,
as a national security person, we have

for sure degraded their nuclear
capabilities, for sure degraded their

missile capabilities.

Important things in terms of the Iranian
government.

But until the Strait of Hormuz is open,
you literally just can't say that we've

won this war when another country has a
veto over what ship goes in and out. So

I don't think you... No, but it's a
month old.

It's a month old, but we're sending in
ground troops into that theater.

We're not there yet, but yeah. Well,
they're moving into the Middle East.

They're not on the ground yet, yes.
Okay, but he's announced that they're

So I think, and I'm not saying he's
going to use ground troops, but I'm just

saying, like, look, Saddam Hussein was a
horrible guy, right? Used chemical

weapons on his people, just murderous
for years and years and years.

So there's no love lost for Saddam
Hussein. That doesn't mean that

feel great after we got bogged down for
years and years and years in the Iraq

war. It's not a lot to ask, whether
you're a Democrat or Republican, for a

when we're just coming off of 20 years
of being bogged down in wars. But the

difference between Iraq is they were
absolutely no threat. We absolutely

attacked a country that...

Nothing to do with 9 -11.

Just because we had this idea of
planting a democracy in the middle of

Middle East. No, no, I'm sorry. At the
time, it was that they had WMD.

It was like they could threaten us. It
turned out not to be true.

Fair. They just wanted to do it. But the
excuse, right? The reason. Right. But

Iran has been attacking the West for a
long time, including the ally that is

most important ally in the world, and
that is Israel.

It's not...

Again, you're not going to get me to put
love on the Iranian government, right?

I've seen that all up and close myself.

But I don't, again, I just feel like,
especially as someone who served three

tours over in Iraq, it's just not hard.
And it is totally fair to ask for a

plan and to know that we are better in
America when we do shock and awe,

hardcore, quickly.

rather than get us bogged down long
term. As a nation, nation building is

our strength abroad.

And he would lose me in two seconds on
this if he started doing that. I don't

think he will. I think he's the kind of
guy who will definitely abandon you.

And that might be a good thing in this
one. I mean, I don't want to abandon the

Iraqi people and the Iranian people. And
I wanted to ask you, as a CIA analyst,

are you surprised that the uprising
hasn't happened yet? And did you think

would? Do you think it might?

I mean, look, my entire life, the
Iranian people have been under the thumb

ayatollah and not.

They've had periodic moments where
they've really done brave things, but

haven't really pushed it all the way
through. The Iranian government has a

grip on that place, and now we've
replaced one Ayatollah with another

So I just think the Iranian people are
just kind of waiting to see what

I don't think any Middle East specialist
would tell you that if we went in, they

would automatically just rise up and
overthrow their own government.

Okay. Well, Israel has a way of
surprising you.

with stuff they're doing behind the
scenes. We'll see if any pages blow up.

the meantime, though, I mean, I have to
say one of the last things I saw when I

left Michigan a week ago was a 90
-minute line outside of Costco for gas,

I mean, the American people are feeling
the impacts of this war many, many miles

away, and that's a very real, real thing
for people. I mean, the Democrats could

have a whole good slogan about, hey,
you're getting rich from the war.

We're paying more at the pump. Yeah, I
mean. That would work, wouldn't it?

you know. That's why I know you won't do
it.

Because it's simple and easy and
concrete.

You're not going to get me to defend
Democratic messaging. That's not going

be ever something that I'm going to
defend.

That's part of the problem and why we
lost the last election. And we can have

whole autopsy about that.

I think for me, what is important going
forward, whether you're a Democrat or

Republican, is like the American people.

They're telling us something. They want
something different out of their

government. They want some alpha energy
from their leaders.

And they certainly, whether you agree
with them or not, are getting that from

some of the Republicans.

And my plea to my own party is like, can
we have a little bit more alpha energy,

punch and believe in what we believe in
and show people that we give a shit and

be simple about addressing the needs
that they care about the most. And that

been a struggle.

And I'm here to...

be a part of that change.

You could learn from me on that one.
Thank you very much.

I appreciate you making the trip. I know
it wasn't easy.

Alyssa Slotkin, ladies and gentlemen.

All right, let's see that panel.

You had me with that last speech. All
right. He is the host of Straight

with Stephen A. And the Stephen A. Smith
Show on Sirius XM and YouTube. Stephen

A. Smith is over here.

And he is CNN's chief legal analyst and
author of Laura Coates Live airing

weeknights on CNN. Laura Coates.

I'll tell you. I...

Hope it wasn't a nightmare for you two
to get here, was it? Airports and so

forth. We OK?

I'm good. OK. All right. Because it
seems to be such a primer in the

of the way this country works, this
whole mess.

I mean, you could start with Biden and
the Democrats for reasons unknown or

Republicans have their theories had to
completely open border policy.

So Trump gets elected on that and then
goes way too far the other way.

and has ICE act like paramilitary groups
in Chile in 1974.

And so then when the funding comes up
for the Department of Homeland Security,

which TSA is a part, the Democrats say,
we're not going to do it. We're not

going to give any more money as long as
ICE is wearing masks, doesn't need a

warrant to break into your home, no body
cameras. That was the big sticking

point. And because TSA is in this.

And they just want to hang out at the
airport and do what they do, which is

stop anything from getting through
anyway.

80 to 90 percent of the stuff that's
supposed to get stopped doesn't get

anyway. My stuff always gets stopped.

So does mine.

Hell, I get stopped.

It's ridiculous sometimes how many
times. Oh, you're flying.

We've got to scan you a few extra times.
It's annoying, but I'll take it to be

safe 30 ,000 feet in the air. Yes.

Well, then my deodorant, though. My
deodorant is not a problem. My perfume.

I've been a federal employee not getting
paid during a shutdown.

The idea that you're supposed to do your
job well and not know where your child

care, daycare, mortgage, rent, gas, food
is coming from.

Those are fields that you want people to
feel as though they are invested in the

job, but they want to almost have an
itching to stop whoever comes because

want to show that they're actually for
national security.

So not to pay them and have them be a
pawn, I don't know how anyone could feel

safe. Well, I'll take it a step further.
I slightly disagree.

I would like to modify what she said.
She said to do your job well. How about

your job, period?

So you go to work and you don't get
paid?

But meanwhile, the politicians that we
send on Capitol Hill to handle their

business, to reach an accord so we don't
have to go through such things, they're

the ones getting paid at the same time
that you don't. They're disgusting.

It's just that simple.

You got to look at it from this
standpoint.

480 CSA workers have quit, according to
the latest report.

61 ,000 went unpaid over the last month.

61 ,000 American citizens.

Now you've got to look at it from that
standpoint and say, as disgusting as it

is, it gets a bit worse when you're
looking at the president of the White

and they're projecting that he's made
him and his family over $1 .4 billion. I

think it's about triple that, but that's
neither here nor there. You've got

other politicians that are doing what
they're doing. You've got the Democrats

sitting up there and talking about how
there are some people who Americans need

to suffer because they should have
never, the 77 million people who voted

President Trump, should have never voted
for him to begin with. So maybe we'll

show... will allow them to feel voters'
remorse so they won't make the same

mistake twice. And then on the
Republican side, you've got them gung

the fact that they regained power in
office, that they had to deal with the

nonsense that they were dealing with
when Biden opened the damn borders.

way you slice it, they're okay, the
Americans get screwed, and we're left to

talk about the horrible job we did.

That's the second good presidential
speech I've heard tonight.

No,

really. It is amazing that when people

actually aren't running for president,
they sound so much better than the ones

who do.

You know, what is that?

You have to not give a shit. Well,
ladies first.

No, candidates first.

He told me he wasn't doing it. If they
don't mess with my money, I will be a

candidate. But I will tell you this. I
mean, listen, they sound that way

they're too busy in keeping their jobs
instead of doing their jobs. What

doing, they're in office.

They've got a little bit of power, in
some cases a lot of power, and they want

to make sure to do things that are
politically expedient to maintain their

status quo.

In the end, what you're really
highlighting is that you're thinking

yourself instead of thinking about your
constituents and the American people.

We've been lamenting this for quite some
time. It's just become a bit more

flagrant with Trump in office because
you have so many people who hate him and

you have so many people he hates that
ultimately it comes down to the American

citizen being a distant third on the
chart of things that you should

the other day with the Deputy Attorney
General Todd Blanch making a comment

they've gotten rid of, bragging they've
gotten rid of everyone who has helped in

the prosecution or investigation of the
President of the United States,

suggesting that in order for you to be a
good public servant in the executive

branch, you have to have the ultimate
loyalty to the President of the United

States. When I was a prosecutor, and I
would say, Laura, on behalf of the

it was the people of the United States,
not the President. And so you have this

idea that you're supposed to have
loyalty. to the wrong person. We're not

supposed to be a nation where one person
is king and the rest of everyone takes

a knee.

I'm in California.

I'm in California, Bill.

I'm feeling a little bit better right
now. But I have to confess to you that

over the last couple of weeks, I threw
up about three times watching these damn

people working for Trump. If I see
another one of these administration

fawning over...

Donald Trump, I'm going to lose my damn
mind. What happened to just doing your

job? If somebody walks, I don't care if
it's Pete Hegseth. I don't care if it's

Kristi Noem before she ultimately was
reassigned. I don't care if it's Mark

Wayne Mullen, who's the new secretary
for the Department of Homeland Security.

I don't care. Anybody but Rubio, because
he hasn't done that. He's been the

adult in the room. The vice president
himself.

If they went and got the president a cup
of coffee, they literally are saying, I

just want to applaud your great
leadership. He's such a wonderful, great

We are so lucky to have him in office. I
mean, the kiss, excuse my language, the

kissing of his ass is so, it's so
nauseating.

It's so nauseating. And listen, I'm
saying.

I'm not saying don't do your job. I'm
not saying if you believe in his vision,

don't be loyal to him. I'm not saying
any of that. But the fawning, they don't

know breeds such a flagrant level of
distrust. Because if you fawn over him

much, you're shoving or throwing
objectivity right out the window. And

chances of us believing that you would
ever disagree with him or you would ever

speak against him in any way on behalf
of the American people is not something

we can trust.

It's all true. I couldn't argue with
anyone. I'm just amazed that 10 years

people are just still that agitated
about it.

Agitated about what? What you just said,
the fawning.

Yes. I mean, I was doing bits about
this.

You know, back before I was wearing
glasses. You went ahead of the curve.

went ahead of the curve, but I don't
know if it was this bad. I know, but

been going on for a very long time. I
just can't. Like, he is who he is.

I just can't get constantly endlessly
worked up about the same things, which I

recognize. I'm condoning them. I'm just
saying it amazes me that people are

going to be like, Donald Trump is
getting his ass kissed all the time.

yeah, yeah. But if you stop caring, if
you stop getting agitated. It's not

caring. But that.

You know, that's the net in the tennis
game. It's not going away.

How do we still win the game? But it's
not that it's not going away.

It's growing.

I mean, it's worse than...

I literally mean if they walked up to
him and handed him a cup of coffee, they

have to give you a soliloquy about how
wonderful and marvelous he is. But

the thing. Here's the thing. The
Democrats, we're going to have midterm

elections very soon. Now, here's the
stats that are important.

Seven in ten people say tariffs have
cost them money.

Food is up 2 .9 percent since January.

Household debt.

Up 4%. Utilities, up 6%. Obamacare
subsidies cut 22 million people.

The Democrats are not going to win this
election.

The Republicans are going to lose it.

There's a difference between not winning
and losing, okay? The Democrats can't

not win this because of all this that's
going on.

But that's kind of...

The Democrats cannot win.

The Democrats? Not the midterms. They've
invented ways to lose. Not the

midterms.

Okay.

Not the midterms.

The midterms are just going to say, let
Trump win this one for us, and that's

going to happen.

But it's kind of like, I saw this game.
You probably watch it because you see

every game.

I think it was the Cavaliers, and they
won.

Like 138 to 132. And the coach, after
the game, was pissed.

His team won. But he said, like, if
we're going to give up 132 points, we're

going anywhere in the playoffs. He's
right.

And that's what this reminds me of.

Well, that's because, to your point
maybe.

If you are simply campaigning on being
reactive, if you're simply campaigning

somebody clutching their pearls and
being horrified by what's become

then you will not be successful at
pointing out what ought to be. If you

your time focusing on what the standards
are, what the national practices ought

to be, what the law actually says, what
free voting looks like, what the idea of

an accessible and free democracy and
free press looks like, if you are...

active and proactive about those things,
I think it's difficult for people to

look a different direction. But if you
spend your time assuming that everyone

going to be as

shocked, as disgusted, and as willing to
be worked up as long as they are, then

that is the losing game. Look at your
point you just made. You're shocked that

people are still caring about it. If
that's the strategy... I didn't say

I didn't say caring.

I just worked up. Still shocked that
worked up about it.

Tomato, tomato. You care what you worked
up about. It's so different. It's so

different. You still care, but you just,
after 10 years, you just can't, I just

can't get it up.

For me, it just...

For this issue.

I look at it from this standpoint. I
will say this.

If Trump and the administration had
stayed on the same path and never sent

Holman in, to Minnesota.

And, you know, after the two individuals
were unfortunate, they unfortunately

lost their lives dealing with ICE and
what have you. If they had stayed on

path and hadn't sent them to Minnesota
to handle that, to calm the waters per

se, and Kristi Noem still was allowed to
go out there and spend about $200

million advertising herself and talking
about DHS and all the things that it was

doing, I think that they would be on a
path to their own self -destruction.

Having calmed that down, I think that
it's still possible they could win the

midterms. And that's the difference. The
message between things that matter.

Those are actions that actually matter.

Yes. The ass -kissing and his craziness,
that's just not going to go away until

he does.

Right. Anyway, other stories to cover,
really important stories. Can you show

the headline about Barbie? I thought I
had seen everything.

This was so disturbing.

Barbie sold a discount store test
positive for cocaine and fentanyl.

Just when you think it's safe to go back
in the water, I tell you, this was so

disturbing to me. And it's true.
Apparently, Barbie is into the drugs.

don't know if you have kids who have
Barbies, but we thought as a PSA,

we're always trying to do the right
thing for America, we would show you

the signs that you like to see. If your
kid has a Barbie, you might want to look

out for these. For example, Barbie, you
know, she looks like a troll doll now.

The Paw Patrol dog always barks at her
purse.

She's dating Lamar Odom.

All of her conversations

now end with the words, we good, right?

Her famous pink Corvette now has Florida
plates and trash bags for windows.

Bob the Builder found her stealing
copper wire from a job site.

In the Barbie sequel, she's now being
played by Courtney Love.

She told Penn he needs to get himself
tested. That's...

And

she's sleeping in the box she came in.
Oh, that's so sad.

So sad.

All right, so... Big, big story we have
not mentioned yet. Let's do it now.

Big Tech finally lost one.

Finally lost one. A lot of people are
just happy for this because they've

lost one.

And this is the two trials went at New
Mexico.

$375 million awarded. This is against
Meta. That's Facebook and Instagram and

YouTube, I think, is in all business.
But mostly it's Zuckerberg who got the

headlines.

Lack safety protocols that allowed
sexual predators to contact minors.

And then the one here in L .A., we heard
a lot about a young woman named Kaylee,

got $6 million, claiming she was hooked
on YouTube and Instagram.

And the difference here is that they've
always been safe because there was a

shield law from 1996 that said you can't
hold the companies responsible for the

content. This is making the case. The
app itself is addictive. They're making

the analogy to tobacco companies. You
knew it.

And they have quotes, by the way, from
employees like, LOL, I mean, all social

media, we're basically pushers.

That's kind of a smoking gun.

So they knew they were doing it, just
like the tobacco companies, and they did

it.

The counterargument is, doesn't all
media try to hook you? Doesn't every

try to hook you and make you come back
for more of it? Isn't that the American

way? Well, this is a design defect,
right? That they are thinking

that they're trying to hook, just like
big tobacco, as long as possible, the

biggest audience by confronting and
trying to go after the most vulnerable

who don't have perhaps the wherewithal.

or the restraint or even the ability,
plain and simple, to put the phone down

turn away from it. And so you've got
this issue where they were intentionally

trying to design an app, whether it's
the auto scroll or it's the infinite

scroll, whatever the scroll might be, to
make sure that you stayed on it, kind

of like the way they would go after with
Joe Campbell and everything else, young

people. So I think this is a very
creative and necessary way to go around

Section 230 you're talking about that
suggests that you're always going to

You can do no wrong because somebody
else actually said the content.

This is, I'm pushing the content.

I'm making sure that you never can turn
away from the content.

Isn't that very much like big tobacco?
Well, it's very much like Lay's potato

chips. Well, I can eat just one.

You can eat just one? I can eat just
one. Okay, but...

We didn't know about you. We'll find out
on this show. I would say there's two

things could be true.

Everything that you just highlighted is
right on the money, and I get that.

And when you consider the algorithms and
how things are targeting towards

adults.

then one could easily argue you know
you've got malintent when you're

children because they're more
vulnerable. And so your willingness to

you definitely need to be called to the
carpet for it. But in the same breath

that that can be true, it's also true
that parental supervision to some

definitely needs to be something that
needs to be addressed.

There are a lot of people out here that
are deadbeat parents, that they're not

paying attention to what goes on with
their children. That's why they think

may lose on appeal. It probably will
lose on appeal, or at least be modified

be a lesser penalty than it's expected
to be. There's a problem with the

analogy there, because the parents are
the cigarette companies in this analogy,

because they gave the kid the phone. I
mean, this kid was on Instagram at 8.

Eight, okay?

You know, this is like, and parents all
over the country let their kids go to

their room with the phone. It's like, go
to your room, kids, and smoke

cigarettes in your room.

You know, I mean, that's crazy. There's
a level of culpability that has to be

placed on the shoulders of the parents
to the point where, you know what, it

ain't just a company that need to be
targeted. To some degree, you got to

investigate and probe into what role the
parents played in assisting their

children being vulnerable.

There was their dereliction of duty. Did
you pay attention? Were you on top of

things? Were you even interested in
being on top of things? All of those

fall in line as far as I'm concerned if
you're going to go to court. If a judge

is looking at it, you should look at all
of those things. I think it's a cop

-out, though, in some respects to say
that it's just the parents.

responsibility. I agree. I'm a parent.

I'm saying that I am a parent and I am a
very vigilant parent.

I'm driving my kids. I'm the one who has
the car.

And yet...

I've noticed that they know the words to
songs I've never played.

Now, how does that happen, right?
They're in school for how many hours a

They're in sports for how many hours?
They're in band or whatever else.

in my car. They're in my house. How do
you know all the words to this song? And

I'll tell you, that's part of the idea
of what... I'd like to know the answer

that, Bill. We never do.

As many as we don't know.

That's my point. And so the thing about
it is...

That is that gap, that question that's
there is exactly where some companies

say, aha, here's where I will find
myself next and make sure that it

to take advantage of this particular
child. And we do this all the time. We

bring things into our homes that we
don't know are okay. I don't have kids,

if I'm off base here, can't you say to
your kid, how do you know those words?

I do. And guess what they say? I hear
it.

Yeah.

I say this not to say that parents
should not be vigilant, but I say that

think that companies that have a vested
monetary interest... and making sure

that they can hook a consumer for a
lifetime are not looking for the moment

vigilance being let down? Oh, they are.
That's the whole point. And so why do

kids drink? Why do kids smoke?

Well, what I'm saying, Laura, is you're
absolutely right. But the flip side to

that is that doesn't mean that if you're
a court and a case comes before you,

you don't ask because every parent ain't
as diligent as Laura Coates. A lot of

parents drop the ball. A lot of parents
ain't doing their job. A lot of parents

are out doing their own damn thing.

They don't give a damn about what their
kids are doing. They literally say, hey,

you got a roof over your head. You got
food on the plate. Go live your life.

they're not putting forth their due
diligence to make sure they're actually

parenting. And as a result.

It has a harmful effect not just on the
kid but on society because of the kind

of kid you raised because you weren't
raising them at all. When those kind of

things happen, if you're in a court of
law, you know, you probe that. You look

into that. You say, well, a case -by
-case basis as it pertains to parent

involvement definitely is warranted,
especially in cases like this.

Did you see what Sir Carl said yesterday
about whooping kids?

What did he say?

You've got to spank them.

Oh, no, no, no.

I've said this on many, many occasions.
I mean, luckily, I haven't had to in the

last few years. But I'm a dad. I will
whip your ass.

Make no mistake.

You act up. You act up. I'm a black man.
There ain't no time out in the corner.

Not this way.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You act up. You gonna feel something.

Okay? Make no mistake about it.

Now, I understand in this politically
correct world we're living in, and I

it the Oprah -fied society because it
started with her and all of these damn

explanations for every little thing that
went on. Dr.

Phil, Dr.

Oz, and everybody in between came along
thereafter.

But it never changed in the Smith
household.

When I acted up, I got my ass whipped.

When my father did, he got his ass
whipped.

It's been passed down through
generations.

It ain't changing.

You know what I'm saying? You act up,
and you're a kid, and you're

you're going to get your ass wet.

There ain't going to be corporate
punishment, pulling a tree branch off.

they did that in my grandfather's day.
They're going to do that now.

But will you get a spanking in the Smith
household?

Hell yes.

I'm not going to come to your house.

Okay, you don't do that. I don't like to
be spanked.

That's the point, is they don't like it.

That's why they didn't act up.

I'm going to leave it alone.

This conversation is getting weird.

We have only a few minutes, but you're a
big sports guy and this is a big...

Issue more than sports. Olympics.

What do you make of that story today?

That the Olympics have said they are not
allowing trans women anymore competing

in women's sports.

I imagine this is going to be an issue
in the Democratic primary.

It's another one where you can make
Democrats die on the hill that they died

last time. If it's an issue within the
Democratic party, that's their own damn

problem.

Biological men should not be competing.

against biological girls in ports.

I am a supporter of the LGBTQ plus
community.

I don't want to get in the way of
anybody's civil rights, civil liberties

anything like that. But what about
protecting the young ladies, young

going up against men, you know,
biological men.

There is no excuse for that. And by the
way, you know what? You could be, you

know, Liam Thomas, for example, was, you
know, was a male and he was ranked like

a swimmer. He was ranked like over 400th
in the world. She. And then she.

And then he became a she.

Right. Okay. He became, you know,
transitioning.

And number one.

Well, damn it. Does it really take an
Einstein to realize that there's

wrong with that picture?

I mean, are we kidding right now? I
know.

This witch -off is forced.

That's my lane and I'm telling you.

There is no reason for a biological male
to be competing in women's sports. We

certainly don't see biological women
transitioning and trying to compete in

men's sports.

I don't hear about that.

But is there, when the Democratic
debates come, is there one candidate on

stage who's going to be clear like this,
who's going to just say it outright

like that? No.

Exactly. And that's why they're going to
be vulnerable after they kick ass in

the midterms. That's why they've been
vulnerable. All right. Thank you very

much. Time for new rules.

All right.

Okay, new rule.

Someone has to break it to these
Venezuelans who poured into the streets

celebrate their victory over the U .S.
in the World Baseball Classic that we

didn't even know that was a thing.

No, really.

Enjoy the victory. Just know that while
you're honking your horns and dancing

the night away, our CIA planned this as
a distraction so Trump can take your

oil.

No rule. Woke ain't dead.

Here in California this week, they
canceled the governor's debate because

people were outraged that the top six
candidates were all white.

Even though this is what the people
voted for, and the people are 62 %

If their opinion was Javier Becerra is
fucking awesome, we'd know.

And for the record, just because the top
six candidates are all white, it

doesn't mean there's no diversity.

I mean, I see all different types of
people I don't want.

Now that young people have started
knitting to avoid spending too much time

their phones, someone must congratulate
them for finding a bigger waste of time

than social media.

I mean, knitting made sense when we had
to make our own clothes, but now we have

factories of children for that.

Just shake your ass, kids, on TikTok if
option B is to spend all day making a

potholder. That's all I'm saying.

Well, to save everybody a lot of time,
the news media must only report when a

member of the Duggar family isn't
accused of molesting a kid.

Also, you should change the name of the
show from 19 Kids and Counting to 19

Counts. I'm not kidding.

Neuro, don't make me look at a baby
picture of your new grandchild.

They all look alike to me.

I don't have kids, I don't like kids,
and I don't want to see kids.

So to me, this is the equivalent of
sending me an unsolicited dick pic.

It is.

Now I know what women feel like. I have
to pretend to like it and also be amazed

at how proud you are of something so
tiny.

General, given the increasing number in
recent years of sightings by serious

military personnel of unknown aircraft
operating outside our current abilities,

if at this point you don't believe
aliens are here and observing us, maybe

you're the conspiracy theorist.

Now, in the past, when it came to alien
life,

I was like a liberal college girl whose
roommate is a lesbian.

Not sold on it, but open to the
possibility.

But look, my opinion changes when the
information changes.

Yes, there was a time when the only
actual contact we heard from about

was rural people who'd been abducted and
anally probed.

But you don't hear about that anymore.
Why?

My guess is the aliens.

gathered all the information they needed
about us that they could get through

our ass.

It's where I'd look.

But now they seem to be on to another
phase.

They seem to want to be spotted. Why
else is Constance playing peekaboo with

military? And it's serious people now.

Not hippies or hillbillies. Serious
people. People with Mike Pence's

who are saying that they keep seeing
things move through air and ocean in

that defy our physics.

Military pilots who say, yeah, I saw
something doing Mach 10 and then it

on a dime and disappeared.

That's not a drone.

That's not something from another
country. Even Elon is like, not me.

Now,

The government's official public line
is, we don't know what these things are.

But in private, what they say is, no,
seriously, we don't know what the fuck

these things are.

But they didn't leak from a lab in

China.

That's why in 2022, Congress had
historic first -of -its -kind hearings

the Defense Department calls
unidentified aerial phenomena.

formerly called UFOs, but don't deadname
them.

And again, it's not weirdos and beardos
saying this. It's the guys with buzz

cuts and security clearances who are
spilling the tea. And politicians who

don't think are crazy people, like Chuck
Schumer, Harry Reid, Marco Rubio,

Kirsten Gillibrand. They're not
disputing it. Jimmy Carter said he saw a

George W. Bush said, yeah, there are
secrets about aliens, and no, I won't

you.

Barack Obama recently made headlines
when he said aliens, quote, are real,

haven't seen them.

Former Director of National Intelligence
General James Clapper is on board, and

our current Director of National
Intelligence has indicated that she

the possibility of alien life.

that it illegally voted for Joe Biden in
Georgia.

If you don't believe me now, you will in
June,

when Steven Spielberg's movie called
Disclosure Day comes out. This, on the

heels of the documentary from last year
called Age of Disclosure.

You get it?

Disclosure? We're at the disclosure
moment in human history. So can we cut

crap? They're here, they came in a
sphere, get used to it.

So... So if I may, I would now

like to address the aliens directly in
my capacity

as the most rational person on Earth,
which I'm sure they know.

I'm sure they know everything about me.
If they figured out intergalactic

travel, I'm guessing they have cable.

And so, as the representative of all
humans,

the first thing I'd like to say to you
is, hi.

Please don't kill us, even though you
could.

Probably just by pushing a button, and
I'm guessing you think about it every

time you see Jake Paul's podcast.

Look, we've seen you go from zero to
what the fuck was that in half a second.

get it. There's no sense trying to fight
you. Two years ago, one of our drones

launched a Hellfire missile at a high
-speed orb, and it hit it and just

off.

First of all, I'd just like to offer an
apology for that on behalf of

all humans. That was our bad.

That was dumb.

And yes, we do have a lot of dumb people
here.

Assholes, hotheads, shitheads,
manosphere morons, meatheads.

And that's just the conservatives. Don't
get me started on the woke.

So it certainly would be understandable
if you decided we were just too stupid

to live. It must be maddening studying
us, because we are obviously capable of

advancements that aren't completely
embarrassing, like gene editing and

computing, but we're also idiots.

We're the species that created the
internet, but also the one that once

with this chick's ass.

So I don't know what we can offer you.
The stuff that we think makes living

great, I'm guessing you're way beyond
sex and good food and getting fucked up.

I doubt if you care about that stuff.

Minerals? We got them.

I don't know if that still interests
you. You may be beyond them, or maybe

are obsolete. Although, have you heard
about clean coal?

But yeah,

I don't know what we have here for you.
Climate? We think ours is pretty

uniquely pleasant in the universe, but
who knows what you have?

But just so you know, ours has trillions
of viruses in it, and that's what

killed the aliens in War of the Worlds.

Just pointing that out as a friend.

Because I'd like to think we are
friends. After all, if you wanted us

be dead already.

Truth is, you may be here to save us,
not kill us.

In 1967, an Air Force captain and
nuclear crew commander who were there

an incident when something
unidentifiable hovered over Maelstrom

Montana and then miraculously, ten
nuclear weapons suddenly became

Was something about to go terribly wrong
and you stepped in? Whatever it is,

please do more shit like that.

Please, feel free to beat our swords
into plowshares because plainly we're

going to do it. Get us off oil. Get us
off our phones.

And AI, the father of AI, said there was
a 10 to 20 percent chance of it being

an extinction event. And yet we keep
hurtling forward with it, as we do with

global warming and the factory farming
that causes pandemics.

Look, it would be great if we could stop
ourselves from self -destructive

behavior. But the truth is, you should
think of the human race as Britney

Spears.

It would be nice if we didn't need a
conservatorship, but in reality, we

do.

Thank you, aliens.

Thank you, people. That's our show.
We're off next week and back on April

I want to thank Stephen A. Smith, Laura
Coates, and Senator Alyssa Slotkin. Club

Random is on every Monday on YouTube or
listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Now go watch Overtime on YouTube. Thank
you, ladies and gentlemen.