Original subtitles

Log date 7-1-5-2.

I can't believe I just did that.

I disobeyed my orders and went against yellow diamond's wishes.

I'm a traitorous clod!

I never want to think about what I've done again!

[ Tape rewinds ]

I'm a traitorous clod! [ Laughs ]

I never want to think about what I've done again!

And I called yellow diamond a clod right to her face!

I called yellow diamond a clod right to her face.

Uh, Peridot, are you gonna be okay? [ Tape recorder rewinds ]

I'm a traitorous clod.

[ Tape rewinds ] Traitorous clod.

[ Tape rewinds ] No.

It's all gonna work out. You're with us now!

You don't understand.

I'm protecting a planet I was once trying to destroy.

I used to follow every order -- every rule.

Now I'm a traitor.

A rebel!

A Crystal Gem-m-m-m-m. [ Chuckles ]

Clod! Clod! Clod!

Well, that tape recorder seems to be helping.

No, it's not!

It's a chronicle of my descent into madness!

You dropped this.

Get it away from me.

Give it to Steven.

Return madness to its source!

Are you sure you don't want it?

Whatever. It's yours now. Yours.

Not mine. Not mine. Yours. Yours.

Let's calm down.

Okay.

So, am I gonna have to wear a star?

Where am I gonna put the star?

They seem to be getting along well.

I wonder when that happened.

[ Tape rewinds ]

Log date 7-1-1-2.

The Steven has given me this earth machine

to replace my communicator log.

It looks...

Extremely primitive.

He also said he wanted me to stop calling him "the Steven."

It's just "Steven."

I said I'd call him whatever I want!

[ Hisses ]

He told me that was rude.

Rude.

I guess I'll call him "Steven."

[ Tape fast forwards ]

The organic life forms of earth have fascinating traits

despite their poor choice of residence.

I wonder if all of them have flight capabilities?

[ Hammering ]

Oh, you must be Peridot.

[ Wind gusts ]

Whoa!!

Aaaaaah!

Peridot!

What do you want?

You can't just shove someone off of a roof!

Why not?

This is a human!

He isn't like us!

He's fragile and soft!

Hey, it's not like a six pack is gonna save you

from that height.

You could have seriously hurt him.

Well, how was I supposed to know that?

Hm.

Greg, you'll have to excuse Peridot.

She's far from her homeworld,

and she still has a lot to learn about our planet.

No, I don't!

Yes, you do!

Uh, hey, yeah. Don't worry about it!

Ugh!

Peridot: In conclusion,

not all of the organic beings here can fly.

Additionally, it is, without question,

that the permafusion, Garnet, is the worst.

[ Tape fast forwards ]

Today, I was assigned a "chore" -- cleaning duty --

like I'm the Pearl.

These clumps don't know how lucky they are to have me.

Although, while doing "chore",

i did happen upon a container containing many...

Shirts.

Imagine -- appearance modifiers

that aren't melded to your body.

Oooh! [ Chuckles ]

Nice shorts.

Aah!

How -- how did these get here?

Aah!

[ Tape fast forwards ]

Log date 7-1-2-2.

Today marks the 30th earth rotation since my capture.

Happy one month can-aversary!

Cylinders?

They're stilts.

You tie them on your feet, and they make you taller.

I tried to spruce them up a bit.

I don't know what it is about flames,

but they just make everything cooler.

Why are you giving me these?

Because I want you to feel nice.

That's what gifts are for.

You give them to your friends to show you care.

And they go, "wow, thanks!"

[ Scoffs ] As if I'd stoop so low

as to tie your earth trash to my body.

Leave me! Go, go, go, go...

Go!

And, wow, thanks!

[ Owl hooting ]

Why, yes, Pearl, I did get taller.

How correct of you to notice.

Of course, Amethyst, I will acquire

those cheesy chaps for you off that very high shelf.

Hyah! Whoa.

[ Laughs ]

They even function in reverse!

Ugh!

[ Tape fast forwards ]

"Jokes."

[ Clears throat ]

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"The chicken wanted to get to the other side of the road."

[ Laughs ]

What's a chicken?

[ Tape fast forwards ]

It seems the earth ones are constantly

filling the voids of their life with meaningless distractions.

Paulette: On the last episode of "camp pining hearts"...

I don't care that you're on the yellow team, Percy.

We can make this work!

[ Canadian accent ] It's coolor war, Paulette.

Doesn't that mean anything to you?

What is this strange ritual?

Uh, that's umm...

Are they attempting fusion?

No, well, my dad told me

during certain stages in your life--

how could anyone indulge in this baseless drivel?

I'll have no part of it!

[ Tape fast forwards ]

Peridot: Hour 78 of "camp pining hearts".

Percy: It's the coolor war, Paulette. It's the coolor war, Paulette.

Doesn't that mean anything to you? Doesn't that mean anything to you?

Uh, you've been here for a few days.

Is everything okay?

I've just been watching

your previously recorded entertainment.

Is that the same episode from three days ago?

There's more than one?

Mmm...

Nah.

Oh.

You made a picture.

Picture? This isn't just a picture, Steven!

It's a complex chart

cataloging the compatible characteristics between campers.

Somehow the rejects at camp clod fail to recognize

the superior pair that is Pierre and Percy.

Well, that's 'cause Paulette likes Percy.

Paulette. Ha!

Paulette has no place in the camp's hierarchy.

Now Pierre -- Pierre is a brute!

Pierre laid waste to the three-legged races.

Pierre and Percy present the strongest battle formation.

They'd destroy the camp!

You got all this from one episode?

It's subtext, Steven.

Allow me to explain.

Peridot: Well, first of all,

[ groans ] I remember this part. Percy & Pierre are both on the yellow team --

[ tape fast forwards ]

And that's why Percy and Pierre

are objectively the best for each other!

Gah!

[ Tape fast forwards ]

Peridot: Log date 7-1-3-2.

Progress on the cluster drill is going optimal, surprisingly.

Though I have a few complaints on the work ethic of --

hey!

[ Laughs ]

Amethyst, really.

This is no time to be fooling around.

Aw, come on, p.

I'm just trying to Lion the mood.

Lion the mood.

[ Groans ]

Do you always use shape-shifting like this?

You mean to be really cool?

Pretty much.

But it's such a...

Both: Significant use of energy compared to the output.

What was that?

I've been practicing my Perry-phrasing.

Pretty impressive in my opinion,

but it's hard to beat the original.

[ Chuckles ]

So, can you shift into anything?

Sure.

Got a request?

Bok bok! I'm a chicken!

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ]

I get the joke now!

Ha! Yes, well, at least she isn't Lion around anymore.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Laughs ]

Peridot: Pearl really tries for some reason,

and I can appreciate that.

Amethyst's company is entertaining, as well.

But, the fused one...

...eludes me.

[ Tape fast forwards ]

Okay, we can add more support as we go,

but for now, we just have to pick it up and put it on top.

No sweat.

[ Deep voice ] Let's do this!

You've got the right idea,

but we might want to be a bit more careful.

Gotcha.

[ Clears throat ]

Shall we?

Huh? Aah!

[ Sighs ]

That looks great. Let's take a break.

What?

All right, I'm at my limit!

Evening, Peridot.

Explain it to me, fusion.

I can at least make sense of your existence

if it's for a functional purpose.

But you?

You're not using your combined size and strength

to do anything!

I'm doing something.

And what's that?

Stargazing.

Ich. You can do that alone.

Don't want to.

Hm.

[ Sighs ]

You can see home world's galaxy from here.

You're right.

We're very different. I appreciate that.

Really?

If you really want to understand fusion, I can help you.

What do you mean?

Let's fuse.

Oh, my stars!

[ Thud ]

I get it, you're not ready. That's fair.

Another time then.

No!

No-no-no.

Just -- just gimme a sec!

[ Mid-tempo dance music plays ]

Yeah.

Get ready.

Aah! No, no, no, no, no!

[ Gasps ]

[ Groans ]

I can't do it.

That's fine.

Peridot, I'm proud of you.

Why?!

Because you've made an effort to understand me.

But I still don't understand you!

Why are you fused all the time?

I'm Percy and Pierre.

Oh!

[ Tape fast forwards ]

Peridot: Okay, go.

Garnet: Log date 7-14-2 -- [ Gasps ]

Peridot: No, you say it "7, 1, 4, 2".

Ugh, log date 7, 1, 4, 2.

I have attempted a fusion with the fusion Garnet.

I had hoped to gain a better understanding of fusion.

Instead I gained a better understanding of Garnet.

Garnet: Wait, keep it on a moment.

Steven, you probably shouldn't have listened

to Peridot's logs,

but I know your curiosity comes from a place of caring.

You should give the recorder back to her now.

She's going to want to keep it.

Peridot: Wait, what?

Here, Peridot, take this back.

Wow. Thanks.