Original subtitles

♪ We ♪ are the crystal

♪ gems

♪ we'll always save the day

Steven: ♪ and if you think we can't, we'll ♪

♪ always find a way

♪ that's why the people

♪ of this world

♪ believe in

♪ Garnet

Amethyst: ♪ Amethyst

Pearl: ♪ and Pearl

and Steven!

[ Birds chirping ]

Log date 7-1-1-2.

It's the third rotation of the earth

since commencements of a [Inhales sharply]

Collaborative approach to stopping the cluster.

[ Chalk scratching ] Pearl: I've finished drawing up

the blueprints for the drill head.

Peridot, if you could come take a look at this...

Remind me again why I should listen to you.

Oh, right. [ Tape rewinding ]

The Pearl here has exhibited

an aptitude for engineering that I begrudgingly respect,

though that doesn't explain the spontaneous singing,

crying, singing while crying.

[ Laughs ] Why did you give her that?

Well, we did destroy all her stuff.

I thought it might make her feel a little better.

[ Tape rewinding ] Clods! Muddy clods!

Running out of ways to say clods.

All right. I chased away those cows.

Let's get to work.

[ Clears throat ]

Before we begin, would you mind unfusing?

It's making me incredibly uncomfortable.

What?! What'd I say?!

Do we really have to do that?

Her having free reign of the place

made me incredibly uncomfortable.

[ Grunting ]

Here you go, Pearl.

Oh, good. Hmm.

No. No, no, no, no.

I said I needed tungsten -- tungsten.

Uh, what does tungsten look like?

Tungsten. Ah!

Ugh. Never mind. I'll just do it.

Meh.

[ Groaning ]

I just need some sort of leverage optimizer.

[ Chuckling ] Leverage optimizer?

That's what I said.

Oh! Ha.

You mean you want a screwdriver?

[ Laughs ]

Do you have one or not?

Uh, w-why don't you just use this one?

Because it was outside my radius.

[ Chuckling ] Hey.

Hey, Peridot, what do you call this?

A scent sponge.

Huh? [ Laughs ]

Okay, what's this?

Vision sphere.

Peridot, that's --

wait, wait, Steven.

Peridot, these?

[ Angrily ] Touch stumps.

This? Gravity connectors.

This?! That's your butt!

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, man, Peridot, you're killing me!

I am not! That would violate our truce agreement.

[ Laughing ] No, no, no. You're funny.

Funny?

Peridot, if you can get

the magnetron out of that microwave,

we'll have everything we need --

except for the drill head.

Why don't I just get an injector drill head

from the kindergarten?

Oh.

Well, I guess that's something you could try.

Garnet: She's not going to the kindergarten

without a chaperone.

What? You've got to be joking.

You'll know when I'm joking.

[ Mutters ]

Me and Steven can go with her.

Eh?

Yeah, we'll keep an eye on her.

Approved. Keep her in line, Amethyst.

You got it!

[ Groans ]

Log date 7-1-1-2.

The Amethyst and the Steven have volunteered

to help me dismantle this era-one drill.

How stylistically displeasing.

The newer ones have a nicer finish.

You making more nerd notes?

What is...Nerd?

[ Snickers ]

Can you use it in a sentence?

[ Clears throat ] Nerd --

you are a nerd.

[ Laughs ]

Amethyst, cut that out.

As you can see, this planet is annoying,

and everything is annoying.

Amongst its transgressions is the need for the Amethyst

to ask permission from the permafusion.

Permafusion? Is that what you call Garnet?

I could call her lots of things.

I could call her two things -- two clods!

[ Laughs ]

Walking around like she's one clod.

[ Laughs wickedly ]

[ Snickers ] What's wrong with that?

She's not even fighting!

She's -- you know, she's just, you know, like a...

You know!

[ Laughs ]

You're a real gem, "Perry."

Yes. I am. A gem.

Okay, okay. Do Steven next.

What's weird about Steven?

Where do I even begin?

He's some sort of hybrid abomination.

I don't even understand how he functions.

His organic half consumes so much energy

that he has to constantly feed,

and he spends so much time expelling

that he has a whole room dedicated to it.

[ Laughing ] Uh, no, something else --

talk about something else!

[ Continues laughing ]

[ Snorting ]

[ Laughs ]

The strangest thing is, Amethyst,

you think you have to listen to them.

[ Laughs ]

You're the one who should be in charge!

Ha!

That's your best joke yet.

No, really.

Pearl is a Pearl.

Garnet is a fusion.

I don't even know what he's supposed to be.

Hey!

You're the only Crystal Gem that's actually a gem.

[ Laughs nervously ]

What?

You outrank everyone on your team.

They should be listening to you.

You're a strong, singular, fully functional soldier,

despite the fact that you're defective.

Defective?

Well, sure. [ Chuckles ] You're small.

So?

Well, you're not supposed to be.

Hold on. Wait, wait.

Let me guess. This --

this is the hole you came out of.

Too small, too low,

the exit marks look about 500 years newer

than every other hole. Hmm.

This place must've been empty when you came out.

No wonder you have no idea what you're supposed to look like!

Peridot.

What was I supposed to look like?

Well, you're a Quartz.

They're huge, loyal soldiers.

You should be twice your size, broad-shouldered, intimidating,

but you simply stayed in the ground too long.

Are you saying I'm wrong?

[ Laughs ] "Gemetically" speaking, yes.

When you think about it, it's all so [Chortles] funny.

[ Laughs wickedly ]

Amethyst.

Hey, soldier,

maybe you can help me get this hunk of drill off.

See? Look at that!

You can do everything a normal Quartz can do.

Let's head back and shove this thing in Pearl's face.

Amethyst, are you okay?

Don't worry about it.

Oh! It's lovely.

To think we'd be using

the same technology that started all this to fix it --

this drill is pure irony!

Actually, it's mostly carbonite.

Would that make it "carbony"?

[ Groans ] Oh, oh, oh! Amethyst!

Check out this -- hmm -- "rhythmatic" pulverizer.

[ Laughs ]

That's funny. I'm so funny. [ Laughs ]

Whatever, dude.

That was the incorrect response.

Hey, Amethyst isn't laughing when I do these things.

Why isn't she laughing?

Peridot, you really hurt her feelings.

What?

You were pretty mean to her at the kindergarten.

Mean? No way.

I was being...Cool. Amethyst loved it.

She's probably telling the Pearl how much fun she had now.

Amethyst, hi, hi! Hi, Amethyst!

She -- she won't even look at me.

It's making me feel... Smaller.

You feel bad. That's how you made her feel.

[ Scoffs ] Who cares about how she feels?

Who cares about any of you?!

You're all just rocks,

ruddy muddy clumps beneath my gravity connectors!

[ Roars ] Ohh!

[ Sighs ] Another one of her temper tantrums.

I'm surprised you two made it back from the kindergarten

without driving each other crazy.

Yeah.

[ Bird cawing ] [ Sighs ]

This little thing --

[ muttering angrily ] Aah!

Ugh.

How's everything going up there?

I'm fine. There's nothing wrong.

Everything's fine. [ Machinery beeps ]

Aah! No, no, no, no! Stop!

Peridot?

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Oof! The panel.

Whoa! Wait!

Oof! [ Gasps ]

It's okay! I got I-I-I-t!

[ Screaming ]

What the...Aah!

Amethyst! [ Grunting ]

Aah!

[ Grunts ]

[ Music ends ]

It's okay. Everything's okay.

It was just a drill.

[ Laughs weakly ]

[ Coughs ]

Uh...Peridot?

Aah! It was an accident. I swear!

Hey, don't worry about it.

We know you didn't mean to start the drill.

Uh, yeah. And that was an accident, too.

We leave for one second,

and everything goes off the rails!

I blame the cows.

No, it's fine. It's fine.

We'll rebuild it stronger, better.

We'll add seatbelts!

[ Grunts ]

Ah!

Hey, are you all right? That was a close one.

It's a good thing Peridot was there to save you.

[ Metal clatters ]

Yes, it is a good thing.

Listen. I, um...

Just spit it out.

Ugh!

Why are you earthlings so difficult?!

Log date 7-1-1-2.

This entire planet is backwards.

There hasn't been one instance of correct behavior

exhibited by any one of these crystal gems.

I have concluded that they are all defective.

But I am no better.

I failed my mission,

and now I'm working with the enemy,

and I can't even get that right.

I have apparently "hurt" Amethyst's "feelings,"

which was not my intent.

If I've damaged my standing with the best gem here,

then I've made a serious mistake.

I'm still learning.

I hope you understand.

I want to understand.

I'm sorry.

Peridot, facet five. End log.

As you can see --

oh, Peridot!

[ Scoffs ]

Amethyst: Hey, uh, Peridot.

Thanks.

But you're still a nerd.

I'll be sure to add that to my notes.

How do you feel?

Big.

[ Soft music plays ]