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1
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♪ we
♪ are the crystal
2
00:00:03,387 --> 00:00:04,586
♪ gems
3
00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:06,855
♪ we'll always save the day
4
00:00:06,857 --> 00:00:09,858
Steven: ♪ and if you think
we can't, we'll ♪
5
00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:12,194
♪ always find a way
6
00:00:12,196 --> 00:00:14,196
♪ that's why the people
7
00:00:14,198 --> 00:00:16,231
♪ of this world
8
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,933
♪ believe in
9
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:18,733
♪ Garnet
10
00:00:18,735 --> 00:00:19,868
Amethyst: ♪ Amethyst
11
00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:21,369
Pearl: ♪ and Pearl
12
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and Steven.
13
00:00:29,212 --> 00:00:31,046
Jamie: Steven.
14
00:00:31,048 --> 00:00:32,380
Jamie.
15
00:00:32,382 --> 00:00:33,415
Safe.
16
00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:34,583
[ Both laugh ]
17
00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:36,418
We have fun.
18
00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:38,220
So, you got the goods?
19
00:00:38,222 --> 00:00:40,422
Oh, I've got gooder
than the goods.
20
00:00:40,424 --> 00:00:43,425
Bum-da-da-dum-dum
dum-da!
21
00:00:43,427 --> 00:00:45,560
Wha--? A play!
22
00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:47,562
I'm holding auditions
tonight.
23
00:00:47,564 --> 00:00:48,964
It's a local production
24
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,900
drifting through space,
looking for stars.
25
00:00:51,902 --> 00:00:54,236
[ Bad Italian accent ]
If you need a great actor,
26
00:00:54,238 --> 00:00:57,272
you come to the right guy.
27
00:00:57,274 --> 00:01:00,575
What was that?
[ Normal voice ]
An accent.
28
00:01:00,577 --> 00:01:02,577
From where?
I don't know.
29
00:01:02,579 --> 00:01:05,147
Acting.
Acting.
30
00:01:06,082 --> 00:01:07,749
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
31
00:01:07,751 --> 00:01:09,084
Where's everyone else?
32
00:01:09,086 --> 00:01:11,253
Uh, you're the only one
that showed up.
33
00:01:11,255 --> 00:01:13,955
But, hey, some plays only have
one person in them,
34
00:01:13,957 --> 00:01:16,658
so we're already in
200% better shape than that.
35
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,927
That sounds like
some strange math...
36
00:01:18,929 --> 00:01:20,428
But I'm ready.
Great.
37
00:01:20,430 --> 00:01:22,130
Here's a copy
of the script.
38
00:01:22,132 --> 00:01:25,967
"Beach City or bust:
The tale of William Dewey."
39
00:01:25,969 --> 00:01:29,271
This is my first production,
so it needs to be exciting.
40
00:01:29,273 --> 00:01:30,639
It needs to be classic.
41
00:01:30,641 --> 00:01:33,308
It needs to be fully funded
by mayor Dewey.
42
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,776
And it is...
43
00:01:34,778 --> 00:01:36,011
Because he wrote it.
44
00:01:37,647 --> 00:01:38,780
What's it about?
45
00:01:38,782 --> 00:01:40,782
I'm glad you asked.
46
00:01:40,784 --> 00:01:42,784
This is the story
of how Beach City
47
00:01:42,786 --> 00:01:44,619
was founded
nearly 200 years ago
48
00:01:44,621 --> 00:01:48,123
by my great-great-great-great
grandfather,
49
00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:49,291
William Dewey.
50
00:01:49,293 --> 00:01:51,293
It's a truly important
historical tale
51
00:01:51,295 --> 00:01:54,796
with a lot of sentimental and
political importance to me.
52
00:01:54,798 --> 00:01:56,831
Well, we're just about
to get started.
53
00:01:56,833 --> 00:02:00,135
Uh, would you like to sit in
on the rehearsal, mayor?
54
00:02:00,137 --> 00:02:02,637
Don't mind if I do.
Oh, pardon me.
55
00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:03,872
Okay, Steven.
56
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,307
Since you're the only one
who showed up,
57
00:02:05,309 --> 00:02:07,475
you'll be playing the lead role
of William Dewey.
58
00:02:07,477 --> 00:02:09,144
Nailed the audition.
59
00:02:09,146 --> 00:02:13,381
And for the other roles,
I guess I'll have to play...
60
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,649
All of them.
61
00:02:14,651 --> 00:02:16,218
[ Clears throat ]
62
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,986
The ship is out at sea.
63
00:02:17,988 --> 00:02:20,855
The sun beats down on the crew
while they stand on deck.
64
00:02:20,857 --> 00:02:23,825
Suddenly, the tall,
ruggedly handsome man
65
00:02:23,827 --> 00:02:26,328
standing in front of them
speaks...
66
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:29,397
"Crew, I'm so glad you could be
part of this journey with me
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00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,999
as we search for a new land
68
00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:33,501
to build a distinguished
new city in.
69
00:02:33,503 --> 00:02:36,171
"Oh, captain William Dewey,
you're such a good captain.
70
00:02:36,173 --> 00:02:39,007
Never has a voyage been
so super good."
71
00:02:39,009 --> 00:02:42,043
"Good point,
first mate buddy."
72
00:02:42,045 --> 00:02:44,579
[ Imitates all laughing ]
For fun.
73
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,880
[ Thunder crashes ]
Oh, no.
74
00:02:45,882 --> 00:02:47,349
Is that a wild squall
approaching us?
75
00:02:47,351 --> 00:02:49,351
Surely this can't be good.
76
00:02:49,353 --> 00:02:51,186
"Be calm, my crew."
77
00:02:51,188 --> 00:02:56,858
I'll just save us with my
heroic, supernatural ability."
78
00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:59,694
And then William Dewey
grows into a 50-foot giant
79
00:02:59,696 --> 00:03:01,896
and carries the boat
safely to shore.
80
00:03:01,898 --> 00:03:04,099
The crew thinks he's so good
at being captain
81
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:07,102
that they elected him to be
the first mayor of Beach City.
82
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,570
The end.
83
00:03:08,572 --> 00:03:10,572
Wow, mayor Dewey.
That was really good.
84
00:03:10,574 --> 00:03:11,906
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
85
00:03:11,908 --> 00:03:13,875
William Dewey
is a really, uh,
86
00:03:13,877 --> 00:03:15,443
good character...
87
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:19,547
But maybe we could bring out
another side of William Dewey?
88
00:03:19,549 --> 00:03:20,882
See his struggles?
89
00:03:20,884 --> 00:03:23,451
The great William Dewey
didn't struggle.
90
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,721
He was good at everything
on the first try --
91
00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:29,090
just like me
when I wrote this play.
92
00:03:29,092 --> 00:03:31,793
Not a single word
needs to be changed.
93
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:32,961
But maybe --
[ Scoffs ]
94
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,630
Don't forget
who's funding this.
95
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,565
Well, nice hustle,
gentlemen.
96
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:39,634
Keep it up.
Aye, aye.
97
00:03:39,935 --> 00:03:42,570
This is gonna be
a disaster.
98
00:03:42,572 --> 00:03:43,571
What?
99
00:03:43,573 --> 00:03:44,906
It's a terrible story.
100
00:03:44,908 --> 00:03:47,475
William Dewey
is totally unbelievable.
101
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,910
'Cause he grows
50 feet?
102
00:03:48,912 --> 00:03:51,413
No,
he's got no character.
103
00:03:51,415 --> 00:03:54,115
But the script kept saying
he was really good.
104
00:03:54,117 --> 00:03:55,083
Exactly.
105
00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:57,919
How can a guy
have no faults?
106
00:03:57,921 --> 00:04:00,455
To be human
is to be flawed.
107
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:03,491
A real hero
must struggle.
108
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,760
That's so beautiful.
109
00:04:05,762 --> 00:04:08,430
And, also,
totally not represented
110
00:04:08,432 --> 00:04:10,165
in mayor Dewey's script.
111
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,266
[ Sighs ]
112
00:04:11,268 --> 00:04:15,036
My first play --
and probably my last.
113
00:04:16,272 --> 00:04:17,906
Hey, Pearl.
114
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:19,674
Pearl?
115
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:21,476
Steven, you're back.
116
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,778
Yeah.
Show business is rough.
117
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:26,781
Is there something
I can help you with?
118
00:04:26,783 --> 00:04:28,850
Not unless you can make
William Dewey interesting.
119
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,119
How do you know
William Dewey?
120
00:04:31,121 --> 00:04:32,954
I'm gonna be him
in this play.
121
00:04:32,956 --> 00:04:34,155
But he's totally boring.
122
00:04:34,157 --> 00:04:36,458
He's perfect,
and he never makes mistakes.
123
00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:38,993
[ Sighs ] Wish I could say
the same for myself.
124
00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:40,795
Yeah,
but nobody's like that.
125
00:04:40,797 --> 00:04:42,297
Everybody
gets stuff wrong.
126
00:04:42,299 --> 00:04:44,966
And then you have to keep going,
and it's hard,
127
00:04:44,968 --> 00:04:47,702
which is why it's great
when you never stop trying.
128
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,739
When did you
get so smart?
129
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:54,008
Hmm.
This isn't just boring.
130
00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:56,177
It's historically
inaccurate.
131
00:04:56,179 --> 00:04:58,813
Who wrote this?
Mayor Dewey.
132
00:04:58,815 --> 00:05:00,849
[ Laughs ]
He wasn't even there.
133
00:05:00,851 --> 00:05:02,317
But I was.
134
00:05:02,319 --> 00:05:03,651
You were there?
135
00:05:03,653 --> 00:05:05,353
Wait,
what really happened?
136
00:05:05,355 --> 00:05:06,521
Well, for starters,
137
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,823
"ruggedly handsome"
seems rather generous.
138
00:05:08,825 --> 00:05:10,859
Steven...
139
00:05:10,861 --> 00:05:12,193
This is so real.
140
00:05:12,195 --> 00:05:15,230
It's like it was written
by someone who lived it.
141
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:16,231
It was.
142
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,999
And I don't know
if you can tell,
143
00:05:18,001 --> 00:05:19,501
but I wrote the jokes.
144
00:05:19,503 --> 00:05:20,668
I can tell.
145
00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:23,872
It's so gritty,
so passionate, so...
146
00:05:23,874 --> 00:05:25,340
Historically accurate?
147
00:05:25,342 --> 00:05:26,875
And the drama?
148
00:05:26,877 --> 00:05:29,844
This is the play
we should be doing.
149
00:05:29,846 --> 00:05:31,012
Let's do it then.
150
00:05:31,014 --> 00:05:32,747
Let's put on this version
of the play.
151
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,015
But how?
152
00:05:34,017 --> 00:05:35,850
We'd need new costumes,
new props --
153
00:05:35,852 --> 00:05:37,051
we have no time.
154
00:05:37,053 --> 00:05:39,687
And mayor Dewey
will have our heads.
155
00:05:39,689 --> 00:05:42,357
But Jamie,
you said it yourself --
156
00:05:42,359 --> 00:05:44,025
"a real hero struggles."
157
00:05:44,027 --> 00:05:46,694
By jiminy, you're right.
158
00:05:46,696 --> 00:05:48,863
This show will go on
tomorrow night
159
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:51,032
with you
as captain William Dewey
160
00:05:51,034 --> 00:05:53,535
and I as
the remaining roles.
161
00:05:53,537 --> 00:05:54,536
All of them?
162
00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:55,870
[ Inhales ]
163
00:05:55,872 --> 00:05:57,839
All of them.
164
00:05:59,041 --> 00:06:00,875
Both: [ Hisses ]
Boom, ahh,
165
00:06:00,877 --> 00:06:02,610
acting.
166
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,045
[ Indistinct conversations ]
167
00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:06,281
Mind if I have a seat?
168
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,049
Okay...
169
00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:11,119
Oh, you know,
I wrote this play.
170
00:06:15,391 --> 00:06:17,926
I hope mayor Dewey
isn't mad about the changes
171
00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:20,094
guess we'll have to see.
[ Chuckles ]
172
00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:22,564
Are you nervous?
Of course.
173
00:06:22,566 --> 00:06:25,400
This could either
make or break my career.
174
00:06:25,402 --> 00:06:27,902
You could lose your job
at the post office?
175
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:30,738
This could either
make or break my hobby.
176
00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:31,906
[ Chuckles nervously ]
177
00:06:31,908 --> 00:06:32,907
[ Chuckles nervously ]
178
00:06:32,909 --> 00:06:34,909
Acting.
Acting.
179
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:36,444
Jamie:
Boardies and gentleboardies,
180
00:06:36,446 --> 00:06:39,581
tonight, I am thrilled
to present to you...
181
00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:41,916
"The tale of William Dewey."
182
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:43,485
Man: Yeah --
Beach City rules.
183
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:44,586
Woman: Shh.
184
00:06:44,588 --> 00:06:45,920
Oh, captain, my captain,
185
00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:48,823
how long until the soft lips
of our sailing ship
186
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,992
kiss the rugged beard
of new lands?
187
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,094
I know we've been journeying
for many months,
188
00:06:53,096 --> 00:06:55,096
but surely we'll run
into something soon.
189
00:06:55,098 --> 00:06:56,798
The ocean
can't be that big.
190
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,932
Pearl: [ Laughs ]
191
00:06:57,934 --> 00:07:00,268
There he is.
Hi, Steven.
192
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:02,337
You're so talented.
[ Giggles ]
193
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,839
Back home they called me
"Dewey the dunce,"
194
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:08,276
said I couldn't find land
even if I was standing on it.
195
00:07:08,278 --> 00:07:09,611
[ Laughter ]
What the...
196
00:07:09,613 --> 00:07:12,280
And I'm starting to fear
that they were right.
197
00:07:12,282 --> 00:07:15,817
What light through
yon stage left breaks?
198
00:07:15,819 --> 00:07:17,285
Oh, what now?
199
00:07:17,287 --> 00:07:20,822
Jamie: It is the east,
and we are The Crystal Gems.
200
00:07:20,824 --> 00:07:22,790
What?
This wasn't in the script.
201
00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:24,826
This wasn't in the budget,
either.
202
00:07:24,828 --> 00:07:27,829
Greetings. I am Pearl.
203
00:07:27,831 --> 00:07:29,030
And I come to you
204
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,965
as a messenger
of the brilliant,
205
00:07:30,967 --> 00:07:32,467
Rose Quartz.
206
00:07:32,469 --> 00:07:35,003
We ask that you
turn your ship around.
207
00:07:35,005 --> 00:07:37,138
The land
you are headed for
208
00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:39,974
is no walk in the park
for your species.
209
00:07:39,976 --> 00:07:41,309
Nonsense.
210
00:07:41,311 --> 00:07:43,177
I won't take orders
from the likes of you.
211
00:07:43,179 --> 00:07:45,313
[ Scoffs ]
Well, then...
212
00:07:45,315 --> 00:07:48,983
You should turn around
lest you fall into the sea.
213
00:07:48,985 --> 00:07:50,318
And you know,
214
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:54,055
humans aren't
very good swimmers.
215
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,657
They ain't.
216
00:07:55,659 --> 00:07:56,991
I'll just return home
217
00:07:56,993 --> 00:07:58,993
like the failure dunce
I am.
218
00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:02,163
Ugh. I can't even
turn a sail right.
219
00:08:02,165 --> 00:08:04,332
Why must I always struggle?
220
00:08:04,334 --> 00:08:08,136
[ Laughter ]
Wow, dad,
what a loser.
221
00:08:10,005 --> 00:08:11,205
Oh, captain, my captain,
222
00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:12,840
we've drifted Miles
from our course.
223
00:08:12,842 --> 00:08:16,511
These waves are nothing like
I've ever seen before.
224
00:08:16,513 --> 00:08:19,180
Nonsense.
This is only a drizzle.
225
00:08:19,182 --> 00:08:22,016
Okay, maybe
a light summer storm.
226
00:08:22,018 --> 00:08:23,851
[ Monster roars ]
227
00:08:23,853 --> 00:08:25,420
What's that portside?
228
00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,622
[ Clears throat ]
Lever.
Oh.
229
00:08:28,857 --> 00:08:29,857
[ Audience murmurs ]
230
00:08:29,859 --> 00:08:31,059
[ Grunts ]
231
00:08:31,061 --> 00:08:33,094
Captain, it's got me.
232
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,529
First mate buddy.
233
00:08:34,531 --> 00:08:37,865
Whatever you do,
don't give up your search.
234
00:08:37,867 --> 00:08:41,035
You're the bravest man I know,
because you try,
235
00:08:41,037 --> 00:08:44,405
even though
you fail so, so much.
236
00:08:44,407 --> 00:08:47,575
Buddy, noooo!
237
00:08:47,577 --> 00:08:49,377
[ Sobbing ]
238
00:08:49,379 --> 00:08:53,615
Oh, buddy,
a stale biscuit to the end.
239
00:08:53,617 --> 00:08:54,549
[ Gasps ]
240
00:08:54,551 --> 00:08:56,050
[ Roaring ]
241
00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:59,087
And now my boat
will sink into the depths.
242
00:08:59,089 --> 00:09:01,723
Dewey the disastrous dunce.
243
00:09:01,725 --> 00:09:03,057
What's this?
244
00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:06,561
Holy anchovies.
The quadruple noogie.
245
00:09:06,563 --> 00:09:09,230
A move that's only been
spoken of in legends.
246
00:09:09,232 --> 00:09:11,232
Ah.
It heads this way.
247
00:09:11,234 --> 00:09:14,902
Oh, please, goddess of noogies,
don't hurt me.
248
00:09:14,904 --> 00:09:17,405
Whoa. I've made it!
249
00:09:17,407 --> 00:09:20,575
Land!
Sweet, solid land!
250
00:09:20,577 --> 00:09:22,243
[ Kissing ] Ugh.
251
00:09:22,245 --> 00:09:24,412
Thank you, giant woman.
252
00:09:24,414 --> 00:09:28,916
Jamie: You may not want to stay,
this land is dangerous.
253
00:09:28,918 --> 00:09:30,918
No, I will stay.
254
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,453
For I am William Dewey,
255
00:09:32,455 --> 00:09:34,789
and I don't give up
in the face of failure.
256
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:38,126
[ Bad Italian accent ]
That's what makes me great.
257
00:09:38,128 --> 00:09:39,594
Jamie: Very well then.
258
00:09:39,596 --> 00:09:43,398
But I can't promise you
I won't interfere again.
259
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,434
[ Normal voice ]
I shall name this new land
260
00:09:46,436 --> 00:09:49,103
in honor of my dead
first mate, buddy.
261
00:09:49,105 --> 00:09:50,271
I'm alive.
262
00:09:50,273 --> 00:09:52,106
Okay,
Beach City it is.
263
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:54,776
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
264
00:09:54,778 --> 00:09:56,444
[ Cheers and applause ]
265
00:09:56,446 --> 00:09:57,445
What?
266
00:09:57,447 --> 00:09:59,347
[ Cheers and applause
continue ]
267
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:02,283
Nice to know great grandpa
was a real person with flaws.
268
00:10:02,285 --> 00:10:03,951
Gutsy move dad.
All: Mayor Dewey!
269
00:10:03,953 --> 00:10:06,354
Mayor Dewey! Mayor --
270
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:10,458
one for you,
and one for you...
271
00:10:10,460 --> 00:10:11,526
Excuse me.
272
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,995
If I could have a moment
with the talent.
273
00:10:13,997 --> 00:10:15,630
Oh.
274
00:10:15,632 --> 00:10:16,964
Jamie.
275
00:10:16,966 --> 00:10:19,133
[ Laughs ] Oh, yeah.
276
00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:20,368
Fantastic work.
277
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:23,371
I loved the message.
"Vote mayor Dewey."
278
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,640
How about I offer
you another role --
279
00:10:25,642 --> 00:10:27,842
lead director of Beach City
community theater.
280
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,310
You could put on
more plays --
281
00:10:29,312 --> 00:10:31,312
as long as the budget
allows it.
282
00:10:31,314 --> 00:10:34,716
[ Stammering ]
283
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,151
Uh, thank you, sir.
284
00:10:37,153 --> 00:10:38,653
A lot of the credit
should go to Pearl.
285
00:10:38,655 --> 00:10:41,889
You could say she was
an "inside source."
286
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,558
I am a gem
of many talents --
287
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,060
a dedication to fact
is just one of them.
288
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:49,397
Thank you for preserving
my legacy.
289
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,834
Oh, what's 200 years
between friends.
290
00:10:52,836 --> 00:10:54,001
Well...
291
00:10:54,003 --> 00:10:55,336
I must be off then
292
00:10:55,338 --> 00:10:57,739
to bask in the adulation
of my constituents.
293
00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:01,008
You know, I don't remember
there being a campaign slogan
294
00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:02,343
at the end of that story.
295
00:11:02,345 --> 00:11:04,378
Art doesn't always
need a reason, Pearl.
296
00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:07,348
Sometimes it's just gotta
make the audience happy.
297
00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:10,418
That's why you always
end on a joke.
298
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:19,360
♪ You
299
00:11:21,864 --> 00:11:25,466
♪ are like you
20749
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