Original subtitles

[ Camera clicks ] [ Laughs ] You blinked!

Let's just take another one.

Oh, wait.

What if we get a shot with the beautiful view behind us?

Come on, Steven!

Say "cheese."

Both: Cheese! [ Cellphone beeps ]

Did it do it?

I don't know.

Press it again.

I've been pressing it.

[ Jamie chuckles ]

You guys look cute.

Jamie!

What's up, Steven? Long time no see.

Oh...My...Gosh!

[ Laughs ]

Jamie, this is Connie.

Greetings, Connie.

So, where you been at?

Oh, you know, just spent some time

where all the big pictures are made.

Uh, where's that?

Just a little place called...

Kannnnsas.

Oh! Are you an aspiring thespian?

Why, a-yes, I am.

Wow. I didn't know you wanted to be an actor.

That's because...

I'm very good at acting.

[ Laughs ]

Is that why you're wearing those cool glasses

that say "movie star"?

Uh...Well...No.

I just bought these at a souvenir shop.

I missed being a regular old mailman,

so I just came back.

And, uh, you got a lot of mail while I was gone.

Looks like the postal service has been slacking off.

Jamie's the only mailman that knows where I live.

I'm gonna need a lot of signatures, as well.

Your knuckles are so quiet.

My hands are polite.

Oh. Garnet.

Hi, Garnet! Hello, Garnet!

Who's gar-nehhhhhhhhhhh?

Eeeeeeeehhh.

Howdy.

Whatcha up to, Garnet?

I was just at the bottom of the ocean

checking for signs of Lapis and Jasper.

Any luck? Nope.

Wow.

How were you able to swim to the bottom of the ocean?

It was easy.

I'm a really good swimmer.

Excuse me.

[ Gasps ]

Connie: Uh, Steven,

why did you receive so many boxes of sea pals?

Uh, I ordered one at first, but it never showed up.

So I kept ordering.

Are you going to start a farm?

[ Laughs ] No.

I'm gonna set them free.

Into the sea!

Jamie!

H-hi. Steven.

You didn't bring more sea pals?

What? No, I just came to, uh...

Uhhh...Um...

What's that?

Uhh, it's...Uhh...

Here!

But what is...It?

Jamie!

[ Breathing rapidly ]

[ Laughs nervously ]

[ Both gasp ]

[ Laughs ]

Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop!

[ Both panting ]

Garnet! Garnet! Garnet!

The most unbelievable thing has happened!

You'll absolutely die of shock!

I'm busy, Steven.

But you got a letter!

Read it.

"To Garnet..."

Jamie:"When I saw you rise like an ancient sea nymph,

a white-hot steel pierced

the deepest artery of my being -- you.

You are a cardiac surgeon,

and I am your transplant patient.

And you stand poised over my chest,

holding my still-beating heart,

hesitating, waiting, wondering.

So I implore you to join me for dinner,

or maybe lunch if you want to keep it casual,

next Friday at the crab shack.

I await your response,

as the camellia awaits the rise of the moon.

'Cause, you know, it only blooms at night and stuff.

"Love, Jamie."

I think Jamie is asking you out --

on a date!

Well, that ain't happening.

Nope. Why not?

Garnet is already in a relationship. Wait, really?

Well, yeah. Sheisa relationship.

Oh, you mean, 'cause she's a fusion.

Ruby and Sapphire are so close

that they can't stand to be apart.

So I guess this date with Jamie is out of the question.

Three's a crowd.

But, guys, Jamie put so much thought

into this letter!

It would be rude not to reply!

Okay, Garnet, it might be best

to play off the tone ofhisletter

and start off with something like, "dearest Jamie."

Okay, go for it, Garnet.

Start with the letter "n."

[ Chuckles ]

Okay. What next?

Uh...The letter "o."

Uh, okay.

You can just say the whole word

instead of spelling it out.

Period.

So, "n," "o," period?

Ohhh.

I think we'll need more than that.

"The end. Forever.

And even after that."

"Yours truly, Garnet."

Hmm.

At least it's honest and to the point.

Where do you think he could be?

I don't know.

He could be dropping off mail

halfway around the world by now.

There he is!

Steven: Jamie.

Oh, hey, Connie and Steven.

You guys come out here

to stare at the ocean and think about life, too?

Uh...No?

We came to, uh -- yeah. Life is crazy.

One day, you're right here in Beach City, delivering mail,

and then the next thing you know,

you're on a bus to Kansas

following your dreams of becoming an actor.

"Follow your dreams," they said.

But no one said anything

about all the rejection and sadness there was to be found.

So many auditions day after day.

So much rejection day after day.

That's why I came back.

One more rejection would have destroyed my fragile heart.

[ Whimpers ]

Sorry.

Sometimes, I get caught up in the drama zone, you know?

Yeah, right. Drama zone.

Oh, by the way, we have something for y--

no, we don't!

How can we give this letter to Jamie now?

He might get upset.

Hmmm.

We can make adjustments.

We can match Jamie's poetic language

and let him down easy.

I watched some episodes of a torrid soap opera once,

so I'm confident that I get the gist of romance.

Ehhh...

There!

"Dear Jamie...

You, dear camellia,

expectantly await the light of my moon,

yet my light is more of a scorching,

wilting, dry desert heat.

And as your metaphorical surgeon,

it is with a heavy heart

that I urge you to seek a second opinion.

I return your heart to you" --

"also, your hair is nice."

"Hair...Is...

Nice.

Yours, but not really, Garnet."

Perfect.

Mission accomplished.

[ Video game music plays ]

Jamie: [ In distance ] Garnet!

Huh? Garnet!

Where art thou, my sweet scorching sunbeam?

Oh, no!

Garnet!

I read thine letter, and I understand!

Thou hast returneth mine heart!

What?! No, that's not what --

Garnet, you like my hair just as I adore yours.

Come to me, Garnet.

Jamie!

Ah, young master Steven!

Pray thee, where is lady Garnet?

She...

She's n-- she's not coming.

But I've come to proclaim my love for my woman!

No, Jamie, you don't understand! I --

Garnet! You've come!

You can tell Steven about all the beautiful things

you wrote to me in your missive.

I didn't write that.

But it's all right here!

Stained with tears of joy -- and now also rain.

Mmmmm...

Connie and I wrote that letter, Jamie! What?

I'm so sorry, Jamie.

We just wanted to let you down easy.

[ Voice breaking ] Wilst thou not scorch me, my darling sun?

I am not, nor will I ever be, interested.

Go away!

[ Gasps ]

M-my panache!

[ Sobbing ]

Jamieeeee!

Connie: Oh, boy.

I feel so bad for poor Jamie.

Yeah. But I'm sure he'll bounce back from this in no time.

He's probably gonna show up with the mail any moment now.

Yeah.

Woman: Excuse me, kids.

I'm looking for the home of...

Steven Universe?

I'mthe home of Steven Universe.

Hey, you're Greg's boy.

I thought Jamie was pulling my leg

when he told me you were living over here.

W-wait. Where is Jamie?

Aw, that poor kid's emotions have been destroyed.

What?!

Yeah, he's a mess!

Said he couldn't bear to deliver mail on this route again

after having his love spurned.

He said it just like this.

Like -- like, when he's in the drama zone.

Then he clenched his fist and closed his eyes like this.

Full of drama to the end.

Anyway, here's a book of coupons.

Have a good one!

[ Water sloshes ]

[ Grunts ]

Rah! [ Blubbering ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Splash ]

You look sad.

We really messed up this time.

Because of us, Jamie's feeling lower than ever.

We've shattered the man!

He'll never love again!

I'll go talk to him.

But your words will destroy him!

Can't you just, like, zap his brain

so he forgets any of this ever happened?

[ Sighs ]

Garnet: Jamie. Garnet.

I didn't mean to upset you.

Then will you go out with me? No!

But I've loved you since the moment I saw you.

Love at first sight doesn't exist.

Love takes time, and love takes work.

At the very least, you have to knowthe other person.

And youliterallyhave no idea who or what I am.

But I bloom for you, like -- like a camellia under moonlight.

No, you don't!

You make a very convincing lovesick fool.

You convinced these children.

You even convincedyourself.

You're a fantastic actor.

What am I supposed to do now?

Start with local theater.

[ Gasps ]

Are you okay?

Yeah.

That was some pretty solid advice.

Were those more letters you wrote to Garnet?

No, that was the mail

I was supposed to deliver on my last route.

We'll help you pick it all up.

Thanks.

♪ If I could begin to be ♪

♪ half of what you think of me ♪

♪ I could do about anything ♪

♪ I could even learn how to love like you ♪