Original subtitles

[ Mid-tempo guitar music plays ] >> Steven: Whoo! Go, dad! >> See? What'd I tell you?

>> Steven: Whoo! Go, dad! >> See? What'd I tell you? I may be losing my hair, but

>> see? What'd I tell you? I may be losing my hair, but the magic's still there.

I may be losing my hair, but the magic's still there. Hmm?

The magic's still there. Hmm? >> Steven: Who's with you in

hmm? >> Steven: Who's with you in this old picture?

>> Steven: Who's with you in this old picture? >> [ Chuckles ]

This old picture? >> [ Chuckles ] That's my pal Marty.

>> [ Chuckles ] That's my pal Marty. >> Steven: You've never told me

that's my pal Marty. >> Steven: You've never told me about him.

>> Steven: You've never told me about him. >> Yeah, he's just an old amigo

about him. >> Yeah, he's just an old amigo from way back when.

>> Yeah, he's just an old amigo from way back when. He's dead to me.

From way back when. He's dead to me. >> Steven: Who was he?

He's dead to me. >> Steven: Who was he? >> He was my manager back when

>> Steven: Who was he? >> He was my manager back when I first met your mom.

>> He was my manager back when I first met your mom. I've told you that whole story,

I first met your mom. I've told you that whole story, haven't I?

I've told you that whole story, haven't I? >> Steven: Not the version with

haven't I? >> Steven: Not the version with Marty.

>> Steven: Not the version with Marty. >> Geesh.

Marty. >> Geesh. Then it's story time.

>> Geesh. Then it's story time. Sit back.

Then it's story time. Sit back. Get comfy.

Sit back. Get comfy. I didn't mean that comfy.

Get comfy. I didn't mean that comfy. >> Steven: Story for Steven!

I didn't mean that comfy. >> Steven: Story for Steven! >> Okay, okay.

>> Steven: Story for Steven! >> Okay, okay. This is the tale of how your

>> okay, okay. This is the tale of how your father met your mother.

This is the tale of how your father met your mother. Now including Marty.

Father met your mother. Now including Marty. [ Up-tempo guitar music plays ]

Now including Marty. [ Up-tempo guitar music plays ] [ Electric guitar music plays ]

[ Up-tempo guitar music plays ] [ Electric guitar music plays ] ♪ some ♪

[ Electric guitar music plays ] ♪ some ♪ ♪ say I have no direction ♪

♪ some ♪ ♪ say I have no direction ♪ ♪ that I'm a light-speed

♪ say I have no direction ♪ ♪ that I'm a light-speed distraction ♪

♪ that I'm a light-speed distraction ♪ ♪ but that's a knee-jerk

distraction ♪ ♪ but that's a knee-jerk reaction ♪

♪ but that's a knee-jerk reaction ♪ ♪ still ♪

Reaction ♪ ♪ still ♪ ♪ this is the final frontier ♪

♪ still ♪ ♪ this is the final frontier ♪ ♪ everything is so clear ♪

♪ this is the final frontier ♪ ♪ everything is so clear ♪ ♪ to my destiny I steer ♪

♪ everything is so clear ♪ ♪ to my destiny I steer ♪ ♪ this life in the stars

♪ to my destiny I steer ♪ ♪ this life in the stars is all I've ever known ♪

♪ this life in the stars is all I've ever known ♪ ♪ stars and stardust and

is all I've ever known ♪ ♪ stars and stardust and infinite space is my only home ♪

♪ stars and stardust and infinite space is my only home ♪ ♪ but the moment that I hit

infinite space is my only home ♪ ♪ but the moment that I hit the stage ♪

♪ but the moment that I hit the stage ♪ ♪ thousands of voices

the stage ♪ ♪ thousands of voices are calling my name ♪

♪ thousands of voices are calling my name ♪ ♪ and I know in my heart it's

are calling my name ♪ ♪ and I know in my heart it's been worth it all of the while ♪

♪ and I know in my heart it's been worth it all of the while ♪ ♪ and as my albums fly off

been worth it all of the while ♪ ♪ and as my albums fly off of the shelves ♪

♪ and as my albums fly off of the shelves ♪ ♪ handing out autographed pics

of the shelves ♪ ♪ handing out autographed pics of myself ♪

♪ handing out autographed pics of myself ♪ ♪ this life I chose isn't easy

of myself ♪ ♪ this life I chose isn't easy but sure is one heck of a ride ♪

♪ this life I chose isn't easy but sure is one heck of a ride ♪ ♪ at the moment that I hit

but sure is one heck of a ride ♪ ♪ at the moment that I hit the stage ♪

♪ at the moment that I hit the stage ♪ ♪ I hear the Universe calling

the stage ♪ ♪ I hear the Universe calling my name ♪

♪ I hear the Universe calling my name ♪ ♪ and I know deep down

my name ♪ ♪ and I know deep down in my heart ♪

♪ and I know deep down in my heart ♪ ♪ I have nothing to fear ♪

In my heart ♪ ♪ I have nothing to fear ♪ ♪ and as the solar wind blows

♪ I have nothing to fear ♪ ♪ and as the solar wind blows through my hair ♪

♪ and as the solar wind blows through my hair ♪ ♪ knowing I have so much more

through my hair ♪ ♪ knowing I have so much more left to share ♪

♪ knowing I have so much more left to share ♪ ♪ a wandering spirit

left to share ♪ ♪ a wandering spirit who's tearing its way♪

♪ a wandering spirit who's tearing its way♪ ♪ through the cold atmosphere ♪

Who's tearing its way♪ ♪ through the cold atmosphere ♪ ♪ I fly like a comet ♪

♪ through the cold atmosphere ♪ ♪ I fly like a comet ♪ ♪ soar like a comet ♪

♪ I fly like a comet ♪ ♪ soar like a comet ♪ ♪ crash like a comet ♪

♪ soar like a comet ♪ ♪ crash like a comet ♪ ♪ I'm just a comet ♪

♪ crash like a comet ♪ ♪ I'm just a comet ♪ [ Hands clapping ]

Thanks for coming, everybody. I'm Mr. Universe. If you liked what you just

I'm Mr. Universe. If you liked what you just heard, go check out our

if you liked what you just heard, go check out our merch table.

Heard, go check out our merch table. My manager, Marty, can hook

merch table. My manager, Marty, can hook you up with cds and t-shirts.

My manager, Marty, can hook you up with cds and t-shirts. Oh, wait.

You up with cds and t-shirts. Oh, wait. He's not there.

Oh, wait. He's not there. I guess I'm going over there

he's not there. I guess I'm going over there now.

>> "Space train to the cosmos." >> Yeah! ♪ one-way ticket ♪

>> Yeah! ♪ one-way ticket ♪ ♪ and I'm ready to ri-I-de ♪

♪ one-way ticket ♪ ♪ and I'm ready to ri-I-de ♪ >> [ Chuckling ] Oh.

♪ And I'm ready to ri-I-de ♪ >> [ Chuckling ] Oh. But how will you get back?

>> [ Chuckling ] Oh. But how will you get back? >> Back?

But how will you get back? >> Back? >> Back to earth?

>> Back? >> Back to earth? >> I'm never coming back.

>> Back to earth? >> I'm never coming back. >> Ugh, that's awful!

>> I'm never coming back. >> Ugh, that's awful! This is your home.

>> Ugh, that's awful! This is your home. >> Uh...

This is your home. >> Uh... You want that?

>> Uh... You want that? You can have it!

You want that? You can have it! >> Hmm?

You can have it! >> Hmm? >> Oh, and it comes with

>> hmm? >> Oh, and it comes with a free t-shirt!

>> Oh, and it comes with a free t-shirt! You'll probably need a bigger

a free t-shirt! You'll probably need a bigger one.

You'll probably need a bigger one. I've got an extra extra-large

one. I've got an extra extra-large in my van.

I've got an extra extra-large in my van. Stay right there!

In my van. Stay right there! >> Starchild!

Stay right there! >> Starchild! Meet Vidalia.

>> Starchild! Meet Vidalia. >> Nice van.

Meet Vidalia. >> Nice van. Really living the high life.

>> Nice van. Really living the high life. >> So, how was the show?

Really living the high life. >> So, how was the show? >> It was great!

>> So, how was the show? >> It was great! One person showed up!

>> It was great! One person showed up! Oh!

One person showed up! Oh! I have to give her this free

oh! I have to give her this free t...Shirt.

I have to give her this free t...Shirt. >> Greg!

T...Shirt. >> Greg! You can't give stuff away for

>> Greg! You can't give stuff away for free!

You can't give stuff away for free! What about my 75%?

Free! What about my 75%? 75% of nothing is nothing!

What about my 75%? 75% of nothing is nothing! Are you worth nothing?

75% of nothing is nothing! Are you worth nothing? >> No.

Are you worth nothing? >> No. >> That's right!

>> No. >> That's right! I'm gonna make us both rich!

>> That's right! I'm gonna make us both rich! And as far as these saltwater

I'm gonna make us both rich! And as far as these saltwater saps know, we already are!

And as far as these saltwater saps know, we already are! So let's live it up before

saps know, we already are! So let's live it up before we hit the road, all right?

So let's live it up before we hit the road, all right? Next stop -- empire city!

We hit the road, all right? Next stop -- empire city! >> You know...

Next stop -- empire city! >> You know... I'll catch up with you.

Maybe she's over there? >> Amethyst: Whooo? >> Oh, just some giant

>> Amethyst: Whooo? >> Oh, just some giant mysterious lady with enormous

>> oh, just some giant mysterious lady with enormous pink hair.

Mysterious lady with enormous pink hair. You haven't seen anyone

pink hair. You haven't seen anyone like that around, have you?

You haven't seen anyone like that around, have you? >> Amethyst: Sure have, pal.

Like that around, have you? >> Amethyst: Sure have, pal. >> [ Gulps ] Wh-where?

>> Amethyst: Sure have, pal. >> [ Gulps ] Wh-where? >> Amethyst: Well, uh...

>> [ Gulps ] Wh-where? >> Amethyst: Well, uh... If I told you any more,

>> Amethyst: Well, uh... If I told you any more, I'd have to kill you!!

If I told you any more, I'd have to kill you!! Hoo hoo hoo!

I'd have to kill you!! Hoo hoo hoo! [ Laughing ]

Hoo hoo hoo! [ Laughing ] >> Hey! Wait!

[ Laughing ] >> Hey! Wait! Hold on a sec!

>> Hey! Wait! Hold on a sec! Whoa! Ooh.

[ Panting ] >> Amethyst: This long-haired human was talking to me over

>> Amethyst: This long-haired human was talking to me over by the fence.

Human was talking to me over by the fence. >> Pearl: It spoke to you?

By the fence. >> Pearl: It spoke to you? >> Amethyst: He was asking

>> Pearl: It spoke to you? >> Amethyst: He was asking about Rose.

>> Amethyst: He was asking about Rose. Look! There he is!

About Rose. Look! There he is! >> Yo.

Look! There he is! >> Yo. >> Pearl: Amethyst! Wait!

>> Yo. >> Pearl: Amethyst! Wait! >> Amethyst: It's you!

>> Pearl: Amethyst! Wait! >> Amethyst: It's you! >> [ Gasps ]

>> Amethyst: It's you! >> [ Gasps ] >> Amethyst: I've never seen

>> [ gasps ] >> Amethyst: I've never seen this one around here before.

>> Amethyst: I've never seen this one around here before. Oh, I really like your hair.

This one around here before. Oh, I really like your hair. >> Pearl: Amethyst, leave him

oh, I really like your hair. >> Pearl: Amethyst, leave him be!

>> Pearl: Amethyst, leave him be! You don't know where he's been!

Be! You don't know where he's been! I'm very sorry about this, uh,

you don't know where he's been! I'm very sorry about this, uh, you?

I'm very sorry about this, uh, you? >> Whoa!

You? >> Whoa! >> Garnet: Oh, Amethyst.

>> Whoa! >> Garnet: Oh, Amethyst. You're with a human.

>> Garnet: Oh, Amethyst. You're with a human. >> Amethyst: He followed me over

you're with a human. >> Amethyst: He followed me over the fence.

>> Amethyst: He followed me over the fence. >> Pearl: What should we do?

The fence. >> Pearl: What should we do? >> Garnet: State your purpose.

>> Pearl: What should we do? >> Garnet: State your purpose. >> Uh, I was kind of looking

>> Garnet: State your purpose. >> Uh, I was kind of looking for the mysterious pink lady,

>> uh, I was kind of looking for the mysterious pink lady, kind of really tall, lots of

for the mysterious pink lady, kind of really tall, lots of big, curly hair.

Kind of really tall, lots of big, curly hair. >> Amethyst: See?

Big, curly hair. >> Amethyst: See? He's talking about ro--

>> Amethyst: See? He's talking about ro-- >> Pearl: I don't know how to

he's talking about ro-- >> Pearl: I don't know how to make him go away.

>> Pearl: I don't know how to make him go away. >> Garnet: I'll just throw him

make him go away. >> Garnet: I'll just throw him back over the fence.

>> Garnet: I'll just throw him back over the fence. >> Huh? Oh! Who-o-a!

Back over the fence. >> Huh? Oh! Who-o-a! >> Pearl: Excellent idea.

>> Huh? Oh! Who-o-a! >> Pearl: Excellent idea. Humans should stay on the other

>> Pearl: Excellent idea. Humans should stay on the other side of the fence like the sign

humans should stay on the other side of the fence like the sign says.

Side of the fence like the sign says. >> Please! No throwing!

Says. >> Please! No throwing! >> Wait!

>> Please! No throwing! >> Wait! Mr. Universe?

>> Wait! Mr. Universe? >> It's you.

Mr. Universe? >> It's you. Whoa. Ow!

>> Are you all right?

>> Pearl: You know this human?! >> He was playing a concert on the beach, and...I couldn't

>> he was playing a concert on the beach, and...I couldn't help myself.

The beach, and...I couldn't help myself. >> No one could ignore

help myself. >> No one could ignore the Universe.

>> No one could ignore the Universe. >> Oh! I brought you this!

The Universe. >> Oh! I brought you this! It's the free t-shirt that came

>> oh! I brought you this! It's the free t-shirt that came with your free cd!

It's the free t-shirt that came with your free cd! >> Why, thank you!

With your free cd! >> Why, thank you! His gimmick is space!

>> Why, thank you! His gimmick is space! >> Pearl: [ Chuckles ]

His gimmick is space! >> Pearl: [ Chuckles ] >> Amethyst: Hey, play

>> Pearl: [ Chuckles ] >> Amethyst: Hey, play something, music man!

>> Amethyst: Hey, play something, music man! >> Garnet: Better make it good.

Something, music man! >> Garnet: Better make it good. >> Aw, man.

>> Garnet: Better make it good. >> Aw, man. I'm working on this awesome

>> aw, man. I'm working on this awesome new set.

I'm working on this awesome new set. It's gonna kill at my next show.

New set. It's gonna kill at my next show. "Next show"?

It's gonna kill at my next show. "Next show"? Aw, geez.

"Next show"? Aw, geez. What time is it?

Aw, geez. What time is it? >> Pearl: Night...Time?

What time is it? >> Pearl: Night...Time? >> Yeah, Marty's probably

>> Pearl: Night...Time? >> Yeah, Marty's probably looking for me.

>> Yeah, Marty's probably looking for me. We're supposed to hit the road.

Looking for me. We're supposed to hit the road. It's a big show in a big city,

we're supposed to hit the road. It's a big show in a big city, and I didn't drop out of

it's a big show in a big city, and I didn't drop out of community college for nothing!

And I didn't drop out of community college for nothing! >> Pearl: What?

Community college for nothing! >> Pearl: What? >> Well, you better hurry.

>> Pearl: What? >> Well, you better hurry. You don't want to miss your

>> well, you better hurry. You don't want to miss your space train to the cosmos.

You don't want to miss your space train to the cosmos. >> Okay!

Space train to the cosmos. >> Okay! I'll see you later!

>> Okay! I'll see you later! Uh, I hope the stars will align

I'll see you later! Uh, I hope the stars will align for us to meet again!

Uh, I hope the stars will align for us to meet again! >> I'm sure they will!

For us to meet again! >> I'm sure they will! >> Amethyst: Bye, music man!

>> Pearl: I can sing. >> Garnet: [ Snickers ] >> Pearl: What?

>> Garnet: [ Snickers ] >> Pearl: What? >> Amethyst: [ Laughs ]

>> Pearl: What? >> Amethyst: [ Laughs ] [ Thunder crashes ]

>> Amethyst: [ Laughs ] [ Thunder crashes ] >> Man, Greg, you really

[ thunder crashes ] >> Man, Greg, you really missed out.

>> Man, Greg, you really missed out. Vidalia's friends were wild

missed out. Vidalia's friends were wild and crazy.

Vidalia's friends were wild and crazy. Glad that town wasn't a total

and crazy. Glad that town wasn't a total waste.

Glad that town wasn't a total waste. >> I met some wild ladies, too.

Waste. >> I met some wild ladies, too. They change shape and appear

>> I met some wild ladies, too. They change shape and appear out of beams of light.

They change shape and appear out of beams of light. >> Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Out of beams of light. >> Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Save the poetry for empire city,

>> ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Save the poetry for empire city, starchild.

Save the poetry for empire city, starchild. We've got a big day ahead of us

starchild. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.

We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow. >> I'm serious, Marty.

Tomorrow. >> I'm serious, Marty. Something's going on back there.

>> I'm serious, Marty. Something's going on back there. >> Are you nuts?

Something's going on back there. >> Are you nuts? Just wait till you see what's

>> are you nuts? Just wait till you see what's ahead of us.

Just wait till you see what's ahead of us. It's fame!

Ahead of us. It's fame! Hey, what's jammed in your

it's fame! Hey, what's jammed in your tape deck?

Hey, what's jammed in your tape deck? You been putting pennies

tape deck? You been putting pennies in here, you weirdo?

You been putting pennies in here, you weirdo? Play something for me,

in here, you weirdo? Play something for me, starchild.

Play something for me, starchild. >> ♪ do you believe in

starchild. >> ♪ do you believe in destiny? ♪

>> ♪ Do you believe in destiny? ♪ ♪ close your eyes and leave

destiny? ♪ ♪ close your eyes and leave the rest to me ♪

♪ close your eyes and leave the rest to me ♪ >> snore!

The rest to me ♪ >> snore! You're gonna put people to sleep

>> snore! You're gonna put people to sleep with that!

You're gonna put people to sleep with that! Where's this schlock coming

with that! Where's this schlock coming from?

Where's this schlock coming from? >> I-I just can't stop thinking

from? >> I-I just can't stop thinking about that woman at the show.

>> I-I just can't stop thinking about that woman at the show. >> Oh, here we go.

About that woman at the show. >> Oh, here we go. How big was she?

>> Oh, here we go. How big was she? >> 8 feet tall...

How big was she? >> 8 feet tall... Massive hair.

>> 8 feet tall... Massive hair. >> See, Greg, this is your

massive hair. >> See, Greg, this is your problem.

>> See, Greg, this is your problem. You want one huge woman

problem. You want one huge woman when you can have multiple

you want one huge woman when you can have multiple smaller ones.

When you can have multiple smaller ones. >> Ugh.

Smaller ones. >> Ugh. Marty, women are people.

>> Ugh. Marty, women are people. >> Just follow my lead.

Marty, women are people. >> Just follow my lead. I'm gonna get you everything

>> just follow my lead. I'm gonna get you everything you want.

I'm gonna get you everything you want. >> What if I want to go back?

You want. >> What if I want to go back? >> What?!

>> What if I want to go back? >> What?! >> What if I want to go back

>> what?! >> What if I want to go back and be with her?!

>> What if I want to go back and be with her?! >> No one cares about your

and be with her?! >> No one cares about your feelings, Greg.

>> No one cares about your feelings, Greg. They're making you lose sight

feelings, Greg. They're making you lose sight of what's really important!

They're making you lose sight of what's really important! >> Watch the road!

Of what's really important! >> Watch the road! [ Horn blares ]

>> Watch the road! [ Horn blares ] [ Tires screech ]

[ Horn blares ] [ Tires screech ] >> [ Panting ]

[ Tires screech ] >> [ Panting ] Why do you always decide

>> [ panting ] Why do you always decide what's important?

Why do you always decide what's important? >> Because I'm your manager, and

what's important? >> Because I'm your manager, and you're just some spaced-out kid!

>> Because I'm your manager, and you're just some spaced-out kid! I'm taking you to the city, and

you're just some spaced-out kid! I'm taking you to the city, and you're gonna play, and you're

I'm taking you to the city, and you're gonna play, and you're gonna like it.

You're gonna play, and you're gonna like it. Maybe you'll even make me some

gonna like it. Maybe you'll even make me some money for once.

Maybe you'll even make me some money for once. >> Get out of my van.

Money for once. >> Get out of my van. >> Sit down, Greg.

>> Get out of my van. >> Sit down, Greg. >> I said, get out of my van!

>> Sit down, Greg. >> I said, get out of my van! >> Ooh!

>> I said, get out of my van! >> Ooh! What are you doing?!

>> Ooh! What are you doing?! You're making a huge mistake!

What are you doing?! You're making a huge mistake! [ Tires screeching ]

>> Hey! Are you in there? I can play for you now!

Are you in there? I can play for you now! I even revamped my awesome set!

This one's for you, mystery woman! ♪ do you believe in destiny? ♪

Mystery woman! ♪ do you believe in destiny? ♪ ♪ close your eyes and leave

♪ do you believe in destiny? ♪ ♪ close your eyes and leave the rest to me ♪

♪ close your eyes and leave the rest to me ♪ ♪ do you believe in fantasy? ♪

The rest to me ♪ ♪ do you believe in fantasy? ♪ ♪ I have to when it's

♪ do you believe in fantasy? ♪ ♪ I have to when it's right in front of me, oh ♪

♪ I have to when it's right in front of me, oh ♪ ♪ what are you doing here? ♪

Right in front of me, oh ♪ ♪ what are you doing here? ♪ ♪ in the real world ♪

♪ what are you doing here? ♪ ♪ in the real world ♪ ♪ what are you doing here? ♪

♪ In the real world ♪ ♪ what are you doing here? ♪ ♪ so close I could touch you ♪

♪ what are you doing here? ♪ ♪ so close I could touch you ♪ ♪ what are you doing here? ♪

♪ So close I could touch you ♪ ♪ what are you doing here? ♪ ♪ and what are you doing

♪ what are you doing here? ♪ ♪ and what are you doing to me-e-e? ♪

♪ And what are you doing to me-e-e? ♪ [ Whir! ]

To me-e-e? ♪ [ Whir! ] Oh! You're wearing the...

[ Whir! ] Oh! You're wearing the... Shirt.

Oh! You're wearing the... Shirt. >> Please go away.

Shirt. >> Please go away. >> I-I'm sorry.

>> Please go away. >> I-I'm sorry. Did I...?

>> I-I'm sorry. Did I...? >> [ Sighs ]

Did I...? >> [ Sighs ] You're awfully cute.

>> [ Sighs ] You're awfully cute. And I really want to play

you're awfully cute. And I really want to play with you.

And I really want to play with you. But your life is short, and you

with you. But your life is short, and you have dreams.

But your life is short, and you have dreams. I won't let you give up

have dreams. I won't let you give up on everything you want.

I won't let you give up on everything you want. >> Well, that's gonna be

on everything you want. >> Well, that's gonna be a problem.

>> Well, that's gonna be a problem. >> Huh?

A problem. >> Huh? >> You're everything I want!

>> Huh? >> You're everything I want! >> [ Chuckling ]

>> What are you smiling about? >> Steven: You loved her! >> Come here, you!

>> Steven: You loved her! >> Come here, you! >> Steven: [ Laughing ]

>> Come here, you! >> Steven: [ Laughing ] >> Rah!

>> Steven: [ Laughing ] >> Rah! >> Steven: Oh, man.

>> Rah! >> Steven: Oh, man. Marty was the worst!

>> Steven: Oh, man. Marty was the worst! >> Oh, yeah.

Marty was the worst! >> Oh, yeah. He was awful!

>> Oh, yeah. He was awful! But I guess I owe him a lot.

He was awful! But I guess I owe him a lot. He made it easy for me to stay.

But I guess I owe him a lot. He made it easy for me to stay. >> Steven: I'm glad you did.

He made it easy for me to stay. >> Steven: I'm glad you did. >> Yeah, me too.

>> Steven: I'm glad you did. >> Yeah, me too. [ Pop! ]