Original subtitles

♪ Mom and daughter time, mom and daughter time! ♪

♪ I’m a spider

♪ You’re my baby spider ♪

Isn’t this fun? My God, we’re having a good time.

Look at this. Look at your room.

Oh my Lord, it is lookin’ goooood!

♪ Isn’t it lookin’ so good? ♪

I feel a little bit bad for your dad though,

because your bedroom here is, like,

it’s bigger and it’s, like, cooler.

It is newer,

not like his four-bedroom house.

What?

It’s not really new,

it’s just where you used to sleep.

I used to sleep there, but now you do

’cause it’s a big, big...

And Mom gave you the big room.

Also I went into Dollar World and they, um,

they didn’t have your ritual spell candle anymore,

but guess what they did have...

Rats! Beep, beep, beep. It pooped on your math

’cause you don’t like math- - Mom!

So it pooped on it.

I’m not into being a witch anymore.

I’ve evolved now-

Into a crone? Are you a crone now?

I’m fourteen.

I’m more of a goth, I guess?

That’s awesome, ’cause guess what?

I know that goths like rats

because that little greasy guy from 2B,

he put a harness on a rat, took it for a walk.

That’s not a goth.

What is it? - Lonely.

Lonely? Oh my gosh.

We’re inviting him for mac and cheese,

I’m gettin’ him. - No, Mom.

- What? What? - I, please...

- I, I just need to study. - Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait!

And look at this. Mom’s,

Mom’s a good time. Mom’s a good time.

And what am I? A rat!

Mom’s a rat!

No? Yeah?

I’m off to Dad’s.

Babe, I thought you were with me tonight.

I forgot to tell you, um,

Dad asked me if we could switch nights.

He did?

Okay. Well that’s just...

that’s weird, that’s weird.

’Cause normally he’d, like, tell me if we were switching times,

but that’s cool.

You have a good time at your dad’s.

You might wanna not go over very much anymore

because pretty soon I’m getting a new

two-bedroom apartment!

Bah-bah-bah!

The one where the guy died?

How much more goth can you get?

I’m perfectly fine with this place.

- I gotta go. - Oh wait. No.

Oh, just one second.

Oh God.

Hey Dad, um, can I stay at your place tonight?

Okay.

Hey, Saffron? Buddy?

Have fun.

Pete! Pete!

Pete, wake up!

What? What time is it? What?

It’s early. It’s early. Oliver’s up.

Did you know he had a field trip?

No.

Or y-yes, I signed something.

But you didn’t put it in the calendar.

I forgot, so sue me.

- Mom? - Yeah?

Where’s my phone charger?

Oh, it’s down here!

- What are you doing? - I don’t know. I panicked!

Well, now help me.

Ow!

Are you okay? - I’m fine.

My hips are tight.

We fool around once

and I’m still paying physical consequences.

Good thing we didn’t join your three times club.

We’d both be dead.

I’m glad you think it’s funny.

Yeah, it’s not funny.

Whoa.

Here it is.

Morning! - Hello!

- Hey! - Morning.

Morning to you.

Why are you guys being weird?

We’re not. - No.

Who? - Us?

No, we’re fine. Not weird. - Yeah.

No, it’s good.

- Morning. - Coffee?

- Yes, please. - Oh yeah, there you go.

My pleasure.

There’s not even coffee in that pot.

I actually can’t stand it anymore.

Please stop fighting.

- We’re not fighting. - No, we’re not fighting.

Don’t gaslight me.

Mom, you always go into ’fix it’ mode,

but you’re just being controlling.

And Dad, you withdraw and pretend it’s all fine

but we all know you’ve been sleeping on the couch.

I’m gonna go to my room and do what I always do:

slam the door, okay?

Ahh. The thing is, he is a really good communicator.

Too good, really.

Probably shouldn’t have taught him to speak.

In some cultures, this is a cup though.

Oh God.

♪ I feel it all, I feel it all ♪

Yule! Yule!

Slow down, I’m not going anywhere.

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

I gotta talk to ya.

I gotta talk to ya. I gotta talk to ya.

Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.

Look, there you go.

Hi, how are you?

I’m good. How are you?

Listen, I really need that two bedroom, okay?

So I was just wondering,

like, what do you think?

It’s just a thought.

What could you get for these?

Remember, this is feathers.

Also, I detailed this myself.

It’s got a little black rose.

There’s some fur,

a lightning bolt down there.

What makes you think I know how to offload those?

’Cause you just used the term "offload"

and you sell back alley purses outta your trunk.

That’s 100% legit. - Okay.

Lease is $3200 a month.

They’re not gonna decide for a couple of weeks

who gets it.

But you have to fill out an application,

and there’s a $1,000 deposit.

Listen, um...

I’m sorry.

But could you help me?

Lemme see what I can do.

Oh my God.

Thank you.

Thank you. I mean, that’s...

really nice of you. Appreciate it.

Okay. - Okay.

I gotta go to work. - Wait.

Oh my Lord.

It matches your shoes.

Thank you. This is so...

Yule, this is beautiful.

I love, it’s got... It’s a plastic lace

and that’s a...

Oh, it smells of cats.

I love cats.

Wait, what do you think?

- Looks nice. - Thank you so much.

It’s beautiful.

That was sweet. Thank you so much.

- You’re welcome. - I gotta go to work.

Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, Kris.

Yeah?

Uh, this apartment is a lot more money.

For people like me and you,

that can be a lot more pressure, okay?

So just, um...

Ah, get going.

Go. Go to work. Don’t get fired.

I won’t.

Oh wait, you wanna know how not to get fired?

You say yes to everything.

Want me to show ya? I’ll show ya.

Okay. Okay, ask me a question.

Do you have Tic Tacs? - Yes.

You actually have Tic Tacs? - No, I don’t.

I’m pretty good, huh? Ask me another.

Okay, go again. Go again.

Is your middle name Sheila?

Yes. It’s not. Ask me one more. Gimme one more.

I feel like you’re just gonna say yes.

Absolutely, ’cause you gotta go along

to get along, baby.

You gotta go along to get along.

Oh my God, Yule, I love this. It’s so nice.

Oh! Okay. Bye! Thank you!

I’m not gonna be late! Yes!

Whee!

Oh Jesus!

Would you go out with me?

Thank you, Yule!

I wanted to speak to you both privately.

What do you know about somatic practice?

I wanna try for an episode.

What do you mean, like tantric sex?

Oh, isn’t that how Sting died?

I think Sting is still alive.

He is? Really?

Oh my God, that’s awesome.

This is gonna be a good episode if he’s, yes.

I booked a workshop for you here at the office.

I’m saying yes to everything,

so I’m gonna say yes to the workshop.

- Yes. - No, no to a sex workshop

in the office? - Right. Yes.

No. Correct.

Yeah.

Yes, but no, but yes.

It is not about sex.

No, it is about connection, which can also be about sex.

But this is so much more than that.

You know, a little bird named Evan told me

that you and Pete were having problems,

so this could help.

I am going to kill him.

I feel like a tantric workshop is a little gimmicky.

Copycat podcasts are emerging.

You’re not the only ones talking about menopause anymore,

so we gotta get active.

Yeah.

Stay ahead of the curve.

Sound different, look different.

I just, I need it to feel spontaneous.

Yes! I love it!

I don’t know. I-

I booked it for this afternoon.

What?

That doesn’t give us any time to prepare.

We can’t do research.

You don’t need to.

No, this is for the video component for our socials.

The fans will love it.

So just be curious.

Ask questions. Participate!

No. No thinking, just feeling.

And that is not advice, that is an order.

Excuse me.

Could you tell me where I might find Jamila?

Mom! - Hi.

Mama, what are you doing here?

I come to see you!

- Wait, you’re her mother? - Mmmhmm.

I feel like I’m meeting the Queen.

Mo, this is not the time.

Mama, come. Why are you here? - Welcome.

When we were little- Queen Jamila’s mother.

You don’t walk away from a Satanic cult, you run.

But all I had was an address torn out of a phonebook

where I hoped my grandma still lived.

I hitched the whole way

with a guy who had a snake in his glove box

and whiskers tattooed on his face.

Oh. Ugh.

I slept in truck stops,

a barn,

under picnic tables.

And when I finally got to my grandma’s house,

she didn’t recognize me.

Holy shit.

Right?

This is gonna make an incredible podcast.

I have to think about it.

I already lived through it once,

I don’t know if I can do it again.

Sorry.

Sorry. I need a minute.

Of course. It’s okay.

Take your time.

- Go! - Yeah, yeah!

I’ll talk to her. I’ll talk to her.

Okay.

- Goosebumps. - Okay. Okay. Go get it.

- Yeah, I-I... - Wipe your tears.

- Yeah. - - I want that.

I should call my grandma.

Hey.

Are you, uh, are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, I just get shook up sometimes.

Hey, so you said that you slept in truck stops

and abandoned barns and under picnic tables?

Mmmhmm. That’s right.

But you also said that you went the whole way

with that guy with a snake in his glove box.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so, so, uh, which is it?

Your story, it’s all true, right?

Yes!

Phew!

Like, basically. - What?

Like, it’s my story.

So I wrote a manuscript.

It came to me in a dream.

Actually, it’s pretty good, but no one would read it.

Maybe it’s ’cause I’m a bad typer.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Um, a dream?

You made it all up?

No, these things actually happened in my dream.

Oh my God, what am I gonna do?

I feel like Amanda’s up to something.

I really need you to not piss Amanda off.

I would like to keep my job.

And I’m really sorry,

I had no idea that you and Pete were having problems.

We’re not having problems!

I’m not having problems with Pete.

We are fine.

Evan has a big mouth.

Evan has a big mouth,

you have a medium-sized mouth,

and I have a little baby whispery mouth.

The upside to the workshop

is that someone else gets to do all the talking, right?

And it takes the pressure off us,

which truly, Julie,

I could use that right now.

Please say yes.

- Fine. - Fine?

I’ll do it for you. - Thank you.

But I’m not gonna enjoy it.

You might. - Nope!

You’re gonna look great in tights.

Don’t push it!

I want to welcome everyone here today.

My name is Inga.

We are going to focus on our energy.

Our breathing.

Yes.

We are going to shut out external distractions,

quiet our minds.

We’re not eating anything.

- We’re not eating anything. - We’re not eating anything.

We’re not eating anything.

Oh yeah. I’m not.

Putting in food into the cubbies provided.

- Close. Come in close. - I’m, I’m close to you.

Okay. Oh my God, that is rude.

Whose phone is that?

Inga, that’s worse than eating cheese.

- It’s yours. - Oh, sorry.

That’s mine. I’m gonna,

I have to get this.

I can’t be in here without you.

You’ll be fine.

Oh my God.

Hello?

Hey, you answered. I, uh...

I, uh, hey, uh, I was wondering-

Do, do you mind speeding this up?

It’s just that I’m in the middle of a sex group with Julie.

I gotta get back in there. What’s up?

I was wondering if you...

What’s the lowest that you would take on that lamp?

I’m gonna go...

Twenty-four dollars.

That’s too low.

I know. I know what I’m going for.

Four hundred thou-

Four hundred, a sweet million.

What is wrong with you?

I don’t know, Yule.

Only less than 24 hours

and I almost shit myself in front of you after a mammogram,

had a breakdown in your car,

so a lot, buddy. I got a lot goin’ on.

Okay. Get going. Go to your class.

Gotta go.

Hey Kris, can you out with me?

Kris, can you go out with me?

What’d I miss, honey?

What’d I miss? What’d I miss?

We’re doing "intuitive mirroring"...

Oh, we are? Good, I love it. - Good, good, good, good.

I love it. I’m just gonna...

Yeah, that’s it.

Try to just feel your partner’s intention.

- That’s right. - I’m not mirroring that.

Yeah, honey, mirror me.

There you are.

I am furious that you waited so long to bring this to me.

I just got off the phone with the board.

They are thrilled.

Shayna’s podcast blew them away.

But this is not just a podcast.

I think, I just, I-I...

This has HBO written all over it.

Elizabeth Moss will play Shayna.

Isn’t she a little old to play 16?

Um, Robyn wanted me to be honest and tell you-

That we,

we are just so gosh darn excited to get going, right?

Yeah.

Honestly, so am I.

And relieved because I really didn’t wanna have to fire you.

I mean, a podcast-less producer.

It’s your lucky day!

- It is my lucky day! - It is!

She’s so powerful. - It’s true.

And I, she’s gonna be, I don’t want her to be mad.

And I love you and I love you.

Release the energy, Julie.

Just vomit the energy into my mouth.

Yes. Again.

Release that blocked sexual energy.

I just want you to pay attention

to how much this relationship just flourished.

Close your eyes, open up your mouth.

- No. - Now hold your hair back.

Ahhhh...

Did you just eat my energy barf?

Yes. That’s what you like.

Sex between friends is never a bad thing.

Just feel it.

Yes, I’m riding this bull all the way home.

We’re birthing a new you.

No, this is stupid. - No it’s not.

Yeah. I’m sorry. No offence.

Please...

Actually, no, full offence.

This is dumb.

There is no scientific evidence to back any of this up.

There is no such thing as energy work.

You need to let go of everything you’ve been holding onto.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Ride the sexual energy, Julie.

That’s right. Don’t fight the waves.

- Come on, Julie. - Learn to surf.

No. No, that’s okay.

Thank you, because- - You need to let go.

I learned to surf in Costa Riiiiicaaaa.

Feel it, Julie.

Feel it.

Now release.

Yes, Julie!

Yes, yes, yes. - Yes way!

Jamila, where’d you put my dishes?

Mama?

My Royal Doulton is gone.

- What... - Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.

How about we go and have a seat?

Okay, we’ll just, - But...

we’ll just have a seat.

Let’s just have a seat.

Jamila Johnston, just-

just-just stop managing me and let me be!

Let me be!

You lost your dishes?

I can, I can look for them.

Well, you’re a gentleman.

Thank you.

I-I-I should go.

Um, yeah, yeah, I-I gotta feed my budgie.

Uh, my parakeet.

Uh, I-I, um...

I’ll grab my purse.

That bird’s been dead for 14 years.

Must be a lot.

Between managing y’all

and everything that she’s going through,

I just don’t know how much more I can bear.

I got it. I got it.

I am really sensing a very big blockage

in your sacral chakra.

Lemme just kinda get-

You know what we’re gonna do?

We just can’t do that because I have to keep it tight.

Okay. All right. - Okay.

- Okay. - Keep it tight.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Okay.

Okay, thank you everybody.

That brings a conclusion to our somatic journey for today.

And if you’re interested in exploring any further,

there is always a whole bunch of packages

on the Glowee website underneath "health and education".

And if you put in the code "tingles"

you get a 30% off your first booking, okay?

This has been a Glowee workshop all along?

Amanda set us up.

I need you to keep it tight, Julie, please.

Actually, I’m so relaxed right now,

I can’t even be furious.

But trust me, I am.

Thank you for her orgasm.

It really helped me out.

- You’re very welcome. - Thank you.

Thank you.

- Hi. - Hey, Kris.

Hey.

I got good news.

I got a good price for that make-up case.

You did? That’s good.

Got you a grand.

Thank you. My God.

That’s the exact amount I needed for the,

for the deposit, huh?

And you thought I wasn’t a good hustler.

Joke’s on you, you. Joke’s on you.

Yeah. Yes! Yeah.

I mean, sorry. Thank you.

I thank you.

I get it, I get it,

my mom was a single mom.

That place you got with you and your kid,

I mean, it is great.

It has really good vibes.

You sure you wanna go forward with this?

I just really gotta do this for my daughter

because she has, like, a lotta bats,

and I think she’s really into rats now,

like plastic ones,

and I just don’t have a lotta space, so...

And also I just have a lot going on.

I have a lot going on and I just think,

I just think to myself,

I’m like, oh my gosh,

if I could just...

Yule, if I can just get that two-bedroom apartment,

I think everything could be better.

And it’s my Moscow...

What?

I’m sorry. Moscow. - Chekov?

For real?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Wait. Ready?

If I could just sell the lamp, get the two-bedroom apartment,

finish up our life here, and get to Moscow...

Like, I feel such longing to get to Moscow.

Like everything, I just feel everything...

What beautiful weather that we’re having today.

Suddenly I feel such joy.

Why?

Oh, I know why, it’s All Saints Day.

But it’s All Saints Day

and suddenly I just feel,

yeah, I feel so happy.

Hey, Moscow.

I’ll get us there.

I gotta bounce.

I gotta bounce.

Huh, wine?

That because it was a good day or a bad day?

I air humped Kris.

That could go either way.

Amanda made us do this workshop that turned out

to be a corporate sponsorship thing for Glowee.

She took advantage of me,

and then, in front of a class full of women,

I overshared loudly.

So bad day? - Bad day.

I’m sorry.

Okay, well, I’m absolutely starving.

What are we thinking? Uh, Thai? Pizza?

How about couples counselling?

I think we need it, Jules.

You know, we’re not connecting.

Even Oliver, he can see it.

We just need a little bit of help.

- Okay. - Okay.

I just need a minute.

Julie?

♪ I don’t remember what it used to be like

♪ The things that I’m not proud of ♪

Kris?

Oh, Julie?

Hey, hold on. Hold on.

Here, just a second.

Hey, buddy. - Hey.

Hi.

Whoa. That is a lot of bats.

Oh, yeah. It’s for Saffron.

I just, I just gave her the bigger space

’cause she’s getting older

and I thought I’d zhuzh it up for her.

It’s just temporary.

We’re getting a new apartment.

Two-bed. Movin’ on up.

Pete thinks we need to go to couples counselling.

Okay. I understand-

Here. Here, baby. Come sit down.

Here you go.

Hey.

Um, is it okay if I hang out here for a while?

Oh, um, I’m sorry, is Saffron around?

She normally stays with me. She’ll be here tonight.

That’s how, like, she’s always like with me

and it’s hard to make her go to her dad’s.

I’m like, you better go visit him.

And she loves the bat cave so much, so...

Okay, then I-I’ll go. I didn’t really think of...

Oh no, no, I didn’t mean that.

I-I just meant, I just,

I’m gonna call her right now

and she’s at her dad’s right now

and she’s, like, visiting him,

so I’ll just see if she’ll stay later

if you just gimme a...

Hey!

Yeah, I was wondering, do you mind, baby, uh,

staying a little bit longer at your dad’s?

She just loves your bat cave.

I love you. Stop it.

I love you!

She won’t stop saying I love you.

Just gimme a second.

I love you so much. Okay, bye!

Yep, the bats’ll be here when you get home.

She must’ve said I love you like forty times.

Yeah.

Are we okay?

I’m great. I’m doing really good.

I’m excellent. How are you?

Never better. - Mm.

Hug my finger?

Absolutely. - Yeah.

♪ I need you ♪

♪ I need you ♪